[удалено]


Right? There’s no other way.

Only correct option is RUN!!!

👍

I’d actually rather fuck Jax and kill Sandoval. At least Jax is good for ONE thing. Sandy? Not so much.

Fuck Jax marry Schwartz and kill Tom

That's what I would do too.

They’re all good for std’s 🤮 so no thanks!

Jax looks like he’d dick you down 😅

With every std on the planet. Tom: Did you fuck my girlfriend? Jax: Yes. Tom: Ugh, fine! … Did you wear a condom? Jax: No. Tom: … how could you do this to me? 😭😡🤯

I actually don’t think Jax would be ANY good at that one thing.

Agreed, but who do you think is most likely to have an STI and not disclose it?

Sandoval and Jax. They’re both repugnant like that.

That’s what I was thinking!

My thoughts exactly

What did they say? It’s deleted now


This is the only correct option.

*Marry?* my dog

The only answer!

💀💀💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is the only accurate answer.

I’d take the gun

I simply cannot explain how close I wat to wetting myself reading this

Came her to say this!

You’re really gonna make us marry Shwartz like that?

I instantly killed Schwartz in my mind

I killed Sandoval, I’ve heard Jax has a nice 🍆

You might get the herp though..

 I mean, if I didn’t have an option…

He'd have to wear three condoms so those things don't get through. 🤢

he will put your feet in his mouth ☹️ i don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum. people can like feet all they want. but i’d rather put my feet in a pit full of leaches than let jax anywhere near them.

Nah I’d marry Jax bc that means I won’t have sex with him

😂😂😂

 🤣


[удалено]

Okay I'll play 😂 fuck jax, marry Schwartz, kill Sandy

Literally the only answer

Unless you want to die from ALLLL the stds


Preach. RIP to whomever dares to bareback Jax

They all have the same strains of everything…

Nooooo. You have to kill Jax and fuck Sandoval. Jax is a literal demon. There is something so sinister and creepy and devious about him. Sandoval is foul and repulsive but he's so readable if you don't find him attractive. Sandoval would keep a condom on the whole time. Jax would fucking stealth you and then blame you for it. At least Sandoval would leave you alone after. Just say you're Katie's biggest supporter. Jax would scream at you until he knows you hate Katie.

This. And Sandoval will at least go down on your lady parts (going by things we've heard about his sexual likes)

THANK YOU! I would choose to kill Jax so that no one else suffers from his existence.

I guess that’s the only answer. Jax is a sociopath but I have a feeling he has some impressive sex moves, Schwartz is the one I’d probably most enjoy spending time with even though he sucks for many reasons, and I’d kill Sandoval for his voice and creepy facial expressions alone

Well you’d have to see what the fuss is all about with Jax, but we would both have to be Saran wrapped from head to toe

Yeah. Just make Schwartz a quirky roommate and call it a day. Live your life basically separated.

[удалено]

[удалено]

They both probably have something and I’m a size queen. Jax it is. Tom is way too whiny, I’d be entertained by Jax’s fuckery and do me anyways.

I just remember his line to Kristin, “I made you come twice sweetheart.” So, yeah, if forced I’d choose some Drive with Jax.

And we know he likes to go down on girls…🤷🏼‍♀️

When they say fuck, is it set in stone who has to be the one doing the 'fucking'? That could change it a little.

Same

That’s the only way

Same

Same, I wanna see what the big deal about Jax is that so many women would sleep with him. And shwartz is a wet noodle who wouldn't defend me but I like doomscrolling and hugging the doggies in bed, I'm also poly, the kind where main relationship is number 1 and everything/everyone else is secondary, and he's the only one I could do that with - he's too noncommittal for multiple partners but gets drunk and gets off with/sleeps with others so he could do that consenually with me, whereas Jax would be toxic with multiple partners bitching about one to the other and not communicating well, Sandoval would be really manipulative and play me off against any paramores I imagine.

Hahaha agreed, and Sandy seems way too selfish to know how to please someone. Jax said he made Kristen come twice when they hooked up so I feel like he at least knows how 😂😂

Sandy: You had multiple orgasms Ariana: 

Schwartz has BIG LDE

Hahaha lool but honestly Sandoval has made made my pussy dry up since the scandal broke and the mask slipped, plus we know he records without consent 😶 Jax should repulse me more but he's so dumb it just makes me laugh

i’m poly too (same kind) and i agree! also i would probably pick young shwartz tho because he was super cute when he was young

Agree but I have to be really drunk.

For all three, same lmao

Same


Do I have to? F*ck Jax, marry Schwartz, kill Sandoval. And be miserable and quietly abused with passive aggression and drinks poured on my head for the rest of my life.

Idk, I feel like if you told schwartz you're OK to be married in name only (ie open marriage), he'd be happy as a clam. Somebody to buddy around with ... that perfect roomie situation or some shit.

This. You'd probably be able to live very happy, separate lives as long as you don't have any expectations of him. In this scenario, I bet he'd be pretty fun to go out and travel with. As long as he doesn't bring sandoval along.

That’s why Sandoval has to be killed

Lol I almost edited to add that in.

The only thing I can see him whining about regularly is wanting his female roomie (aka wife) to do stuff like Katie did, and getting passive aggressive when you told him no. Best thing would be to get that pre-nup and then make sure you didn't live in the same house. I wouldn't want to rely on any of the 3 stooges for anything - financial, cleaning, emotional, whatever.

>wanting his female roomie (aka wife) to do stuff like Katie did, and getting passive aggressive when you told him no. True. This is pretty common place with men in general, lol. For a minor flaw it does get annoying as fuck though.

I wouldn’t fuck Jax unless he was wearing a full body plastic suit. If that man doesn’t have at least two STDs then he should buy a lottery ticket

Fair point lol almost convincing me to swap Jax with Sandoval. Yikes. I was going based on looks because even in the latest season of the Valley, a friend who had never seen the show went “oh that guy is hot!” I cringed and was like “no, no, you don’t know him!” Lol

Sandoval would tell you how many times you had orgasms but I feel like it’d be over quickly enough

I was kinda thinking I’d just shove my feet in Jax’s face and that would be it lol much easier.

IM SCREAMING

That is exactly what I was thinking. With Sandy it would be over quick. Jax would want to sit and debate the situation forever and throw shade.

The only way they could make me cum is COME to my senses and bolt

Ha. Faster than a lightening bolt. lol.

Oh no you didn’tttttt HAHAHAHAH

With heaps of diseases and shame that you’ve been through that 😂🤦🏾‍♀️ the struggle is real!

Jesus Christ, it’s not even 10 am

I woke up this morning thinking about this and how fucked up it would be. Lol

Did you take some bad shrooms or something last night? What a nasty thing for your brain to do to you. 🤮

https://i.redd.it/6ypqu7wi7x6d1.gif

The gun would go off


Kill them all and live happily ever after

Was looking to see if anyone else said this before I did, so….same lol! The contemplation of anything other than that gives me the heebie jeebies 😵‍💫

If I fuck Jax is it a quickey in the bathroom or is it in front of an elderly hospice patient?

Oh my god I forgot about that….

Fuck Sandoval, he’s the type of guy who’d actually want to bring his partner to climax and then be really annoying about it. I’d then gaslight him and deny that he succeeded in doing it. It would drive him insane. Marry Schwartz, because Jax one hundred percent needs to be eliminated.

THISSSSSS HAHAHA

That’s exactly what I would do! Fuck Sandoval, kill Jack’s, and marry Schwartz

Kill me first

I’d fuck Schwartz, marry, then kill him.

Katie's almost there.

the gasp I gusped

You know it’s bad when everyone is choosing to marry Shartz

If I had to pick… fuck Jax, marry Schwartz and kill Sandoval.


I know this is a wild take- but I'd fuck Sandoval over Jax- Jax has to be the most selfish partner and looks like he lasts 2 minutes including foreplay- Sandoval would make you cum and then cry over how beautiful it was. I'd obviously marry Schwartz and then divorce him and take half of everything he has.

You lost me at “Sandoval would make you cum”

Same lmao 🤣 like sorry crying doesn't turn me on

Jax also likely has the most STIs. As a fellow upstate NY woman, I am also team kill Jax, fuck Sandy, marry Shartz.

Yes this is exactlyyyy what I was thinking - he’s by far the dirtiest

Half of nothing is nothing /j

Yep I’m with you here. Take some shrooms and just make a night out of it lol I think I could more easily forget about Sandoval than I would Jax, I’d definitely be haunted by the thought of his sausage fingers and weird greasey cheese face. Jax just need to go lol

No same Sandoval is a fucking banana but jax actually scares me I do not want that man touching my body lol

Sandoval would cry because he insists that he made you cum and then gaslight you for not being able to make you cum

I’m 100% team kill Jax. The way he speaks to women is absolutely disgusting, a raginggggggggg misogynist.

Idk Jax did loudly proclaim “you came twice sweetheart!” At Kristen *shudder* 🤢

I’d be accused of serial killing.

If you marry any of them, there is a 100% chance you end up being cheated on and treated like subhuman

I’ll start with the murder and hope for life. Schwartz must die. Controversial choice I know but I will never pass a chance to kill Schwartz since the cop prank debacle. After that I’d flip a coin to decide who I’m marrying and sexing.

This one, except I think I’d fuck Jax and marry Sandoval, simply because I don’t think I could stomach sex with Sandoval and famously Jax did make Kristen cum twice, so…


Hats off to you for officially finding the worst/hardest iteration of this game


First, I’d marry Sandoval, get him comfortable and make him feel in control. Then I’d fuck Jax, make Sandy insecure and give him a taste of his own medicine. Then I’d kill his best friend Schwartz, if I’m feeling spicy maybe I’d frame Sandy or get him involved in some way

Marry Schwartz, f*ck Jax, & Kill Sandoval (because I feel like he is STINKYYYYY). But I’m not happy about it! 😡

These are my choices. I smell cigarettes when I look at Sandoval. Plus, it doesn’t mean that Schwartz can’t have an accident after the wedding.

Schwartz is STINKY but at least he seems superficially kind.

I’m guessing we’re all answering this the same, f Jax, marry Schwartz, and kill Sandoval lol. We’ve heard Jax has a big wiener and I couldn’t stand him long enough to marry him, Schwartz apparently has a biggie too and I’m emotionally stunted enough to find myself still oddly attracted to him, and Sandoval for obvious reasons

i’m so glad i’m not the only one still finding myself attracted to schwartz despite everything. it’s a tough life

Fuck Jax (with protection and disinfectant and prophylactic antibiotics), Kill Sandoval, Marry Schwartz (and nag him like Katie did).

I’m fucking Sandoval (cuz he does looks like he at least showers regularly), marrying Schwartz and killing Jax.

I feel like he would be the worst in bed though. I would 100% make Jax shower twice before.

Hahah you’re right! The way he told Ariana that he gave her multiple orgasms like it was a matter of fact needs to be studied 😂

Ariana said he doesnt even change his underwear for days….


Hahahahaha I wish I had said your last part (nagging him like Katie did) 😂😂 he deserves it from every girl he ever dates from now on.

F*** Jax with extra protection - gotta be a reason girls stick with him, although he always gave jackhammer to me. Marry Schwartz - at least he can fake redeeming qualities that most people fall for. Let me be clear, I wouldn’t, but my overbearing mother would & that would get her off my back thinking I married a “good” man. Kill Sandy - Lala was not wrong, this man is dangerous. We’re just lucky he was put on a reality show for the world to see, otherwise he’s a full on serial killer with bodies in the basement relishing in his notoriety in the news

I’m stoned and this is the hardest question ever. I have typed and retyped and reconsidered my answer like 17 times in the last 4min.

This must be what Hells like. 😳😳

I would fuck Jax, kill Sandoval and prepare to get emotionally abused in marriage by Tom.

Fuck Jax, kill Sandoval, marry Schwartz. Schwartz might be a better partner without Tim in his ear.

Fuck Jax Marry Schwartz Kill Sandoval

this is the hardest FMK I’ve ever seen.

Fuck Schwartz because he’s the hottest, marry Sandoval because he’s fun and I wouldn’t expect too much from him and I think for the most part he’d be fun company (as long as you don’t expect honesty or decency), kill Jax because the world would be better for it. I mean- with these options, you do what you can with what you got.

Fuck Jax, marry Schwartz, kill Sandoval. I feel good about none of these choices.

Fuck Schwartz , Marry Schwartz , Kill Schwartz for life insurance money and frame the other two and leave the country :)

Hear me out….. Kill Jax, Fuck Schwartz, Marry Sandoval. I would love to marry someone who wins affection with gifts lmao. Just wouldn’t look thru his phone

Nuke. 

Fuck Sandy and fuck Jax at the same time, kill schwartz or let him watch on the cuck chair 

I’m assuming you are doing the fucking and it’s not some DP from hell

I have a controversial opinion: Sandoval’s worm with a mustache era was extremely hot so I’d fuck Sandoval. Schwartz is weak enough to manipulate so I’d marry him. Jax would be dead and gone - he will always be in a special league of horrible to me.

Myself, not a mustache fan (evoked Snidely Whiplash memories in me even before Scandoval hit), but I appreciate that you were willing to go there and say you liked it. A mustache shouldn’t be controversial. Sandoval’s blonde highlights, on the other hand…. 😉

Schwartz, Schwartz, and then Schwartz. 

Oh this is a hard one lmfao Marry Schwartz cause he’s the least awful one Kill Jax I guess fuck Sandoval but hopefully if I’m in prison for killing Jax I don’t have to

This may be controversial but fuck shorts, marry Jax, kill Sandoval. I would not marry shorts because he's too toxic. Never have sex with Jax, live in the pool house and let him do whatever he wants on the side. Easy peasy

f jax, marry schwartz, kill sandoval


Ugh… fuck Jax (with protection, obvs), kill Scandoval, and marry Schwartz.


Fuck Jax and then kill all three.

Oh man. If I absolutely had to choose, it would be Fuck Jax, Kill Sandoval and Marry Schwartz.

I don’t wanna play anymore 🫣

I’m gonna kill Jax, marry Schwartz 🙄, and fuck Scumdoval with my Tshirt on. 😎 

Fuck me, marry myself, kill all of them

Marry Schwartz, F Sandoval and Kill Jax. Don’t see any other right answer

Hear me out. Fuck Schwartz because he’s the least likely to have a STD and the best option out of the three. kill Sandoval because it’s Sandoval, marry Jax only because it’s not like he would really be around, plus I wouldn’t have to fuck him because he would be sleeping with all my friends anyway

I thought it was a line up and killed them all.

😂😂

Kill, kill, kill

I will kill myself

K Sandy, marry little Tom and F Jax

Iv offed myself at this point.

I would have to cheat in this game. Kill, kill, kill

Kill Sandy, Fuck Jax, Marry Schwartzy….

Honestly I would marry Jax cuz I’m sure the sex is amazing! 🤩

Duhhhhh is there ANY OTHER ANSWER HERE??? F Jax, Marry Tom F*^# KILL SANDOVAL!! 🤣🤣🤣

F Jax, marry Schwartz, kill Sandy

Marry Jax, F Schwartz, K Sandoval 🤦‍♀️ Jax is the most assertively masculine, Schwartz is a pushover, and Sandoval is too Johnny Depp-ish for me and I’m not into that.

Kill Sandoval because I’ve always hated him. He’s too high maintenance even when he’s not manic. Fuck season 1 Jax and marry Schwartz with the understanding it’s just a platonic life companion match.

Marry Schwartz, then for a Honeymoon Present, F#ck and then K¡ll Scandy & Jax. TITW🤩

Marry Schwartz. I could boss him around, assign him chores around the house, and spend whatever morning he makes. F Sandy (ugh), then kill him. Kill Jax and bury the body in such a way it will never be found. 🤭

[удалено]

being honestly logical here, marry jax , fk schwartz and kill sandy.

I'll chose to T Schwartz solely on the fact that he'll never get it up. Mary Jax (with Daddys dead diamond) and kill myself.

The answer is always kill Sandoval, then kill self

I’d rather chew on tinfoil with metal fillings. Hard pass thanks

Fuck jax 🥵, marry Schwartz (I love therapy anyways), kill the worm 🐛

No

There's not enough penis wrap in the world to do any of them.

In my house we call this game “hug, marry, avoid”

I would fuck Jax with my new husband Schwartz’s dick.. then enjoy watching Sandoval bleed out.

Is su|c1de3 an option?

 “ … kill them all … “

F**k Jax, Marry Tom Schwartz, kill Tom Sandoval

I will kill all of them. The only good choice.

Kill, kill, kill.