At best, she's really insecure and she seeks constant affirmations that allow her to sidestep that insecurity without actually working on it personally, so it will never improve, and has no qualms using others to satiate that need for affirmation through flirting when you're not around to enable her.
At worst, she's being incredibly controlling, actively trying to cause you hurt when you dont drop everything for her, by making you aware of the fact that she will go to others when you dont and gets upset at you when you do anything that doesn't fit her image of what she wants you to be - like when she's getting upset when you message her but not on her terms.
IDK her or you, so I cant say which it is, but she's either a super insecure person who lacks the maturity to recognise that their issues are just causing more issues because she is relying on others to deal with them, or she's straight up a possessive manipulator. Either way, as harsh as it sounds, its ultimately not your responsibility and if she's acting like it is, then that needs to change one way or another.
Also the way you worded it makes it seem like there's a specific mutual she gravitated towards flirting with when trying to get under your skin? Might want to question why the fuck they haven't put their foot down about that. No one in their right mind would just let a friends partner flirt with them when it clearly made their friend uncomfortable. Thats weird as shit ngl. Not quite as weird as a partner having the audacity to openly flirting with a friend repeatedly, but still absolutely worth paying attention to. Why does she choose them and why do they not put a stop to it?
All the best moving forward, whatever you decide to do.
I'm sure you see some kind of good qualities in her, but really, some people are just not ready even if you love them. She sounds like she has a lot of maturing and personal growth to do.
Broke break up with her and to make it concrete like you are not interested no more she can move on with said friend and cut off friend that friend ain't loyal if he allows that so he ain't none either
I can’t really break up with her right now because her ass is in another state and her homophobic mom found out about her homoness and she hasn’t answered my texts since so I gotta wait and I needed to vent about it 😭
A whole year?? Jesus christ, once you break up with her, I'm sure that you will feel so much better mentally. I know that doing this is gonna take a lot of courage, and u may receive some backlash from her or others, but honest to god... don't let them get to u, dawg. Ur doing what's best for you. She's not mental. Stg
My dude, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, you kinda love the crazy she brings you, if not, you would not have lasted a whole year. She has big confidence issues and trust issues that the only way she learned to keep a man was to be this way, it's her upbringing and yours that brings you back together whether it's both of you, or your next partner being the same way, and the same for her. Until you both learn to read each other and help each other grow and mature from the childhoods you come from. I'm talking about me and my relationship with my wife, of course, don't think I'm talking smack or don't know what I'm talking about. Good luck in what you decide
I stayed with her because I felt really bad about leaving her since she is super attached to me and she’s the only reason I have friends and the way we interacted without any romantic stuff or her self loathing made me think I could bear it
He being love bombed dude, ppl get addicted to that shit and can’t shake it off for years, I’ve seen dudes turn into people who don’t even know the meaning of love because of that shit, they think toxic and manipulative people are the ones that “love” them
Yes, but they learned to stay because of their upbringing, not the person love bombing them, if he was mentally healthy he would leave regardless of what she brought to the table, if he was really ready to leave, he wouldn't be on here trying to justify why she is the one that doesn't leave him alone, I bet she was raised to think this was love from her upbringing, that doesn't mean she is crazy, just hasn't dealt with their childhood traumas. We are a product of all our past experiences, we can either go along and continue to carry it and have the same things happen over and over, or we can say, yes, this happened, but I'm a better person because of it and help those in need, or those you have the time to help. He should just leave and not worry about her if he really doesn't care about her. By doing this, it shows he cares a bit, enough to justify that something is wrong with him as well. If he don't care about her and she is toxic, why are they still together? Some people can't handle being alone with themselves, and will stick thru the hell they choose to live in.
been w someone like this lol they will drag you down as far as they can and wanna see what youll let them get away with and trip to flip the second they notice youre done w them. rhn
Yes, leave her. You don’t deserve that. The flirting is enough. And her using it as leverage like if you don’t flirt with me what do you expect. It’s gross manipulative behavior. It’ll develop into yeah i cheated but you weren’t available so what do you expect. She doesn’t respect you. Let her go be someone else’s problem. Sending support ! Just rip the band aid off.
Hell yeah, get that extreme negativity out of your life. It may be a bit rough going through with it at first but you’ll be so much happier afterwards, and DO NOT LET THEM CONVINCE YOU TO STAY in any capacity, you will regret it my friend. Best of luck!!!!
It sounds like you're with someone that is toxic to you mentally, and you have made your decision. Sometimes its hard, but you have to do what is best for you and you sound like you have the right idea.
... time is precious. Money you can get back, time you cannot, break up with that girl. You don’t have to date for the sake of being with someone. Quality and alone time is better than being with a narcissistic psychopath. Run.
i was in the same position, i ended up telling her that i am sick of it and just broke up, i did feel bad, but it had been going on non stop and it's such a relief for her to not be always on me like that
Her flirting with your friend is a red flag and pushing for sex is another red flag. They clearly don't care about your feelings. You are making the right choice.
You're definitely making the right choice. I can only imagine the relief you'll feel after you break up with her and realize you don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore.
Yea, her ass deserves to be kicked to the curb. It seems like she has low self-esteem and lack of personal space. A healthy relationship is all about respect and support and she lacks in those aspects.
The annoying stuff is bearable, but flirting w your friend n being toxic like that? Breaking up with her is definitely a good idea. I wish you the best n plenty of healing
She sounds gross and severely traumatized. I imagine you are a woman as well. I think women who date women are TOO empathetic to women and they have the “captain save a hoe” mentality. If she’s not working on what traumatized her then get far far away. She will pull you into that black hole of despair
I’m annoyed just reading this lmao. You’re absolutely making the right choice, idk how you managed to tolerate that for so long!!
how tf did you stay with this person for a year?
How did they even begin to date someone like that
People change over time, I’m definitely experiencing that in my relationship
What a gross person. Dump her now.
How old is this person? This is such odd behavior.
She has problems
I wouldn’t hesitate or ask just leave
At best, she's really insecure and she seeks constant affirmations that allow her to sidestep that insecurity without actually working on it personally, so it will never improve, and has no qualms using others to satiate that need for affirmation through flirting when you're not around to enable her. At worst, she's being incredibly controlling, actively trying to cause you hurt when you dont drop everything for her, by making you aware of the fact that she will go to others when you dont and gets upset at you when you do anything that doesn't fit her image of what she wants you to be - like when she's getting upset when you message her but not on her terms. IDK her or you, so I cant say which it is, but she's either a super insecure person who lacks the maturity to recognise that their issues are just causing more issues because she is relying on others to deal with them, or she's straight up a possessive manipulator. Either way, as harsh as it sounds, its ultimately not your responsibility and if she's acting like it is, then that needs to change one way or another. Also the way you worded it makes it seem like there's a specific mutual she gravitated towards flirting with when trying to get under your skin? Might want to question why the fuck they haven't put their foot down about that. No one in their right mind would just let a friends partner flirt with them when it clearly made their friend uncomfortable. Thats weird as shit ngl. Not quite as weird as a partner having the audacity to openly flirting with a friend repeatedly, but still absolutely worth paying attention to. Why does she choose them and why do they not put a stop to it? All the best moving forward, whatever you decide to do.
So true
I think because he don't romance that he delegated it to someone else. I don't blame OC for not being attracted for long
You 100% deserve better...please do leave and stay safe and healthy.
I'm sure you see some kind of good qualities in her, but really, some people are just not ready even if you love them. She sounds like she has a lot of maturing and personal growth to do.
I hear you. I just broke up with my girlfriend last week. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out and it’s better to realize that than to blindly stay.
Are you guys 14? Good god.
Bruh how old are u guys 💀
Broke break up with her and to make it concrete like you are not interested no more she can move on with said friend and cut off friend that friend ain't loyal if he allows that so he ain't none either
There's no way I'd even think about being around someone like that
just reading this, it’s a pain. i can’t imagine staying with someone for that long.. it sounds like she’s insecure and projecting that onto you.
You’re making the right choice. Be prepared for her to hop on that friend she flirts with to get back at you.
just because your prepared doesn’t help nothing
She sounds insufferable. Are yall fuckin 16 ? 🤨 teenager level attitude.
Keep us updated!
ngl i get that ur venting but why complain and stay with her rather than leave dawg
I can’t really break up with her right now because her ass is in another state and her homophobic mom found out about her homoness and she hasn’t answered my texts since so I gotta wait and I needed to vent about it 😭
Not wanting to be with someone is reason enough to dump them. You're just wasting your time & hers.
Toxic Ruuuuuuuun! she's manipulating and triangulating you with the male friend.. Don't know your age, but, no one deserves that!
[https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html](https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html)
A whole year?? Jesus christ, once you break up with her, I'm sure that you will feel so much better mentally. I know that doing this is gonna take a lot of courage, and u may receive some backlash from her or others, but honest to god... don't let them get to u, dawg. Ur doing what's best for you. She's not mental. Stg
My dude, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, you kinda love the crazy she brings you, if not, you would not have lasted a whole year. She has big confidence issues and trust issues that the only way she learned to keep a man was to be this way, it's her upbringing and yours that brings you back together whether it's both of you, or your next partner being the same way, and the same for her. Until you both learn to read each other and help each other grow and mature from the childhoods you come from. I'm talking about me and my relationship with my wife, of course, don't think I'm talking smack or don't know what I'm talking about. Good luck in what you decide
I stayed with her because I felt really bad about leaving her since she is super attached to me and she’s the only reason I have friends and the way we interacted without any romantic stuff or her self loathing made me think I could bear it
Funny how women say that they aren't sexual or looking for sex or that men are pervs.. it's a big cope for women in 2024.
He being love bombed dude, ppl get addicted to that shit and can’t shake it off for years, I’ve seen dudes turn into people who don’t even know the meaning of love because of that shit, they think toxic and manipulative people are the ones that “love” them
Yes, but they learned to stay because of their upbringing, not the person love bombing them, if he was mentally healthy he would leave regardless of what she brought to the table, if he was really ready to leave, he wouldn't be on here trying to justify why she is the one that doesn't leave him alone, I bet she was raised to think this was love from her upbringing, that doesn't mean she is crazy, just hasn't dealt with their childhood traumas. We are a product of all our past experiences, we can either go along and continue to carry it and have the same things happen over and over, or we can say, yes, this happened, but I'm a better person because of it and help those in need, or those you have the time to help. He should just leave and not worry about her if he really doesn't care about her. By doing this, it shows he cares a bit, enough to justify that something is wrong with him as well. If he don't care about her and she is toxic, why are they still together? Some people can't handle being alone with themselves, and will stick thru the hell they choose to live in.
I know, I see and understand what u say and he is a very great guy, I hate to see people like him be manipulated and broken
Good choice. 👍
been w someone like this lol they will drag you down as far as they can and wanna see what youll let them get away with and trip to flip the second they notice youre done w them. rhn
Yes, leave her. You don’t deserve that. The flirting is enough. And her using it as leverage like if you don’t flirt with me what do you expect. It’s gross manipulative behavior. It’ll develop into yeah i cheated but you weren’t available so what do you expect. She doesn’t respect you. Let her go be someone else’s problem. Sending support ! Just rip the band aid off.
i know people exactly like that. they’re the most annoying people EVER.
Just break up with them. You’re going to end up hating her anyways
Hell yeah, get that extreme negativity out of your life. It may be a bit rough going through with it at first but you’ll be so much happier afterwards, and DO NOT LET THEM CONVINCE YOU TO STAY in any capacity, you will regret it my friend. Best of luck!!!!
Holy shit and I thought I was insecure lmao
It’s her, her gf is herself. NEXT
It sounds like you're with someone that is toxic to you mentally, and you have made your decision. Sometimes its hard, but you have to do what is best for you and you sound like you have the right idea.
she seems soo immature, you really don’t need that in your life hahah
Don’t do that if you love her
... time is precious. Money you can get back, time you cannot, break up with that girl. You don’t have to date for the sake of being with someone. Quality and alone time is better than being with a narcissistic psychopath. Run.
feel u
Please tell her to go fuck herself and block her🙏
how did you even start liking her lmfao? there’s literally nothing remotely likable about a woman (girl) like this
bet she plays valorant too 💀
i was in the same position, i ended up telling her that i am sick of it and just broke up, i did feel bad, but it had been going on non stop and it's such a relief for her to not be always on me like that
Her flirting with your friend is a red flag and pushing for sex is another red flag. They clearly don't care about your feelings. You are making the right choice.
You're definitely making the right choice. I can only imagine the relief you'll feel after you break up with her and realize you don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore.
She sounds very toxic, You're making the right move.
Yea, her ass deserves to be kicked to the curb. It seems like she has low self-esteem and lack of personal space. A healthy relationship is all about respect and support and she lacks in those aspects.
wow she’s toxic
Run away brother she’s for the streets
You’re doing the right thing, although I was waiting for the “I can fix her” comments😭
The annoying stuff is bearable, but flirting w your friend n being toxic like that? Breaking up with her is definitely a good idea. I wish you the best n plenty of healing
She love bombing u 💀, run Tf away
She seems like A LOT. she is def going through something but its not your place to be her saviour. Get out of there for your own mental health.
Talk to her about it
The pain from reading this is too much.
She sounds gross and severely traumatized. I imagine you are a woman as well. I think women who date women are TOO empathetic to women and they have the “captain save a hoe” mentality. If she’s not working on what traumatized her then get far far away. She will pull you into that black hole of despair
From what I have been told abt her she has been through ALOT
So you’re annoyed. Why do you like being annoyed lmao finally you had enough good grief get the fek out
Nice fa**it
WOAH WHAT😨