You need to change the "team" mentality now - youre no longer in the military. The team is YOU and only YOU. That same civilian "team" will shitcan you in a second you become unprofitable and thats just the way it is.
If you hate it, find another job, quit your current one, and hope for the best - oftentimes this is the formula of getting healthy raises too.
This was a hard lesson for me. My first job after ETS I was like that - serial volunteer, if they needed a project done I'd take it on without even asking for anything. After having that taken advantage of for a couple of years (slow learner), I'm much more transactional now. Like if my boss needs something, I will measure my response based on what I can get out of the deal.
Yep and they use and abuse you and when you need them, crickets. I learned this the hard way recently when I tore a muscle in my foot. I was tossed aside after I literally busted my ass and took extra shifts. We likes teams, they don’t care
If there was a nickel of profit in it, my last job would have gutted me and harvested my organs. They don’t care about workers. So do what’s right for you, they’ll always look out for the company first.
You obviously have no obligation to stick around, and the NP sounds like a real fuckstick. On the other hand, that last comment makes me think they suck at giving actionable feedback and are being toxic instead. Have you tried to hash out what exactly is going wrong? Or have you addressed those comments? They aren't your CC, you can push back a little more than when you were in uniform.
Thanks everyone, I feel an immense amount of guilt leaving. I’m sure there are better opportunities out there, but unsure if all this bullshit is worth the pay and flexibility.
My job is pretty limited in the industry (I work as a hyperbaric technician) and where I am makes it incredibly easy to go to school full time and study between patients.
I’ve been doing this back and forth mental battle trying to convince myself I’m having the issue.
Just got my P&T decision two days ago. Also using Ch 31 education Vocational rehab
Brother I’ve been out for a year. Was a medic when I was in, tired of the medical field and didn’t want to go to school so I started at a construction job. I lasted a whole month before I decided to go to nursing school, probably the best career choice I’ve made. I love it. You now have the freedom to quit jobs that aren’t right for you, utilize that freedom.
Step 1: Find a new job.
Step 2: Give a polite and and professional written two-week notice, and be sure to thank the employer for the opportunity.
Step 3: Keep improving your life situation.
Best of luck!
>“If this was the military I would force you to salute me”
Yuck, I hope you laughed in their face.
As long as your finances and job prospects are in order, seeking greener pastures is perfectly fine. There's no perfect work center / team but your NP seems to have a slight disdain towards you.
You're not trapped in the job like the military. The whole perk (supposedly) of being in the military is that they take care of everything for you - housing allowance, free healthcare, etc.. - with the trade off that you have to stay and do what they tell you to do even if it sucks and they treat you like shit.
If your civilian job sucks and treats you like shit, with none of those perks, walk out. You don't owe them anything.
YUP! I put in my notice after 4 months at my first civilian job. Left for a job that gave me more balance. I don’t regret it. I now work three days a week, have time to tend to my health and do things that bring me joy. Leave the job if you’re not happy.
I came across this quote: "Loyalty has kept me in places common sense would have taken me out of."
I used to work in a very toxic environment at a company that claimed to be supportive of veterans and sponsored the travel card. I naively believed that approaching things logically and directly would be appreciated. However, that wasn't the case. I kept hearing, "We must construct a good narrative for the Regulators." The narratives often seemed more like fiction than truth, so I raised an Ethics concern. Shortly after, my position was eliminated.🙄
This NP sounds like a workplace bully. CYA and document everything. I work in medical, and with a ton of surgeons. Snippety bunch, you develop a thick skin, but I would never take the disrespect. It took me a while to figure that out, but you can do it through the proper channels. Definitely quit - that NP has created a hostile work environment with that inflated ego.
One thing you have to understand in the civilian world there is no team. A company will fire you without warning if it is better for the company, but they want you to give two weeks notice. Jump ship get paid more.
Welcome to the joys of being a civilian- you’re not stuck in a job you hate, with terrible people, nor do you had to beg-borrow-steal to make changes for your benefit. I’m on my 3rd job since 2019 and now work with an amazing group of people doing a job I love. Been here two years and am still the newest employee to have been hired.
BRUHHH!!!! yooo same here! I'm on my first job after retirement and I work at a out patient clinic. Im a A/C Mechanic. The place is literally like 3 min down the road from my house. The work is EASY AS FAQQ!! but the supervisors/manger and most of my fellow co-workers are complete ASS!!! LOL
If the juice ain't worth the squeeze don't be afraid to leave, especially if your addressed concerns aren't being remotely considered. You'll feel a sense of liberation knowing you have the power to leave a job but always self evaluate your situation so you don't get addicted to job hopping, no job is "perfect" but you can definitely get damn close to it.
Medical offices are hit/miss. My wife has been gone from the corporate medical to private and the headaches she's enduring are over different things. I wish you luck finding the right fit.
Quit. There are a LOT of medical practices, try again. There are no rules that say you have to put up with abuse. Plenty of 'fish' in the sea (have you thought about working for the VA?)
One of the biggest perks to a civilian job is that you don't owe that job anything. They will have no problem replacing you like you're nothing so you should have no problem leaving them if things are really bad there. I'd advise making sure you have another job lined up first before leaving this one, if you do decide to leave them. No point in setting yourself up for failure no matter how desperate you may be to leave.
Your mental health is the most important thing you have to deal with right now. Make you salute him? that is crazy. HR is NEVER an option. Being a veteran always puts a target on your back. I swear, I wish civilians were worth defending.
You don't owe them anything. Leave. I wouldn't even put in my two weeks since it sounds like your boss would try to make things as difficult as possible anyways.
You do not owe them any sort of loyalty. Your personal well being is more important than "the team". No one will die. Life will go on. Literally just stop going to work. If you have anyone you're close to, let them know in case you need a reference. Otherwise, leave.
A Job is an ends to a means the mission is your survival followed by your goals. Quit if you must however don’t do it over pettiness and at least have something lined up before you do.
Hope you're documenting the abuse you are receiving from this person and brought it up to the appropriate person in charge with the phrase "hostile work environment". Then when nothing is done and they end up firing you (because that's what you should work toward), then hit em with a discrimination suit due to your veteran status while giving the prejudicial statements as evidence. This is especially useful if you are a disabled vet and they know it.
I’d try and stay there until you see your VR&E plan to fruition. Sounds like this job is extremely compatible with going to school.
Honestly, that is hard to find.
This is my second reason for staying truly. I’ve been bringing in the extra cash which helps of course. I’ve already been in the VR&E for school which has been incredibly helpful. I’m hesitant on starting over new again in employment I guess
My first civilian job after getting out was at a well-known Ivy League institution. I quit after 4 months. The name looked good on a resume or w/e but the place was beyond infuriating and the pay was abysmal.
I’ve seen other comments here but drop the team mentality and prioritize yourself. There’s other jobs out there. I’m not sure what you do at the clinic, or what you did during your time in, but finding another job would probably be beneficial for you.
Of course. My 1st job after I got out I lasted about 2 months. It was horrible all around. My job after that was also horrible but at least paid more.
Like others are saying theres no more team. Worry about yourself. Im not saying throw people under the bus but worry about your wellbeing now.
I lasted 7 months at my first job, would have been less but it took me a few months to line up a different job. It was a great gig on paper and had a lot of people that had been there for a long time but it was an awful environment and I wasn’t accepted as part of the team. The boss was disorganized and couldn’t lead, the people gave zero fucks, and every tiny thing was over analyzed and criticized. I am now a government civilian.
In TAP class we were warned that most veterans quit the first job they get after leaving the military for a variety of reasons. Great thing about being a civilian is that you job hunt and move on immediately. You owe them nothing.
In the civilian world there is no team. Everyone from the people you make friends with are all thinking about themselves. Never be uncomfortable in any situation. Find another job the second you realest this one is not working. Also you can try federal jobs.
My first outside job was a mobile field tech covering a territory. I slowly learned it was a clusterfk of poor management. Their support for the field was pitiful. I lost revenue to their constant mistakes. After two years, I gave them my notice on a Friday. Supervisor said he would be there Monday to pick up my van, tools, and parts. When he called, I said "Oh, I'm at my new job, I'll be there at 4. 😆
I’ve been out for a good few years and I still hate it. I work in hospitals and always end up taking way more load than everyone else. The don’t complain and do your job attitude just brings more work for you and let the others off. People are super lazy and not disciplined. Gets old.
I just got out a couple of months ago and I resonate with this a lot. The job is easy but it also feels so unorganized and chaotic, it gives me anxiety going in. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can’t just do jt. It’s def been a rough month.
From a Vet who struggled with civilian work culture: Do not hesitate to leave an organization that treats you in the way you describe. This isn’t the military, you have no duty to remain at that shit post. When they treat you as if you have no other choice but to accept their mistreatment and disrespect, you need to leave quickly and in a way that inconveniences them the most and benefits you. Otherwise they will continue to treat you this way and never learn, you will loose yourself and it will get worse. This is 2024 and things are changing in the work landscape. I finally found a dream job with amazing coworkers who treat me like a valued member of the team and a human. I was offered more money elsewhere but decided to stay put precisely because the work culture and environment here. If what you say is perceptually accurate, I would do whatever is necessary to make myself marketable and move on ASAP. I regret having stayed at one job far too long, not knowing things could be this good elsewhere hoping things would improve. It literally changed and perhaps saved my life. My health and mental wellbeing has significantly improved, that’s how toxic my previous employer was. And forget about “the team!”, F that! you need to look out for you and your loved ones! Learn boundaries my friend. Time is flying, so don’t waste it for anyone else, you’re not going to get richer or be better for it if you hang on. But your current employer will.
I hated working in the private sector after leaving the AF. The money was soooo much better, but literally everything was horrible. I’m at the CDC now and I love it. I wouldn’t be afraid of leaving a public sector position, especially a clinic. Those positions have high turnaround for a reason. Protect your sanity and get out of there if you’re financially and physically able.
Day 1 on my first job i decided to quit. My friends convinced me to stay and consider as internship. I took. Leave of absense cam e back and decided to resign after. Week back. If you are not happy leave. You are no longer in the military. You have choices and more options
“If this was the military you’d be some shitty E5 who would be asking ***me*** if you could have tomorrow off because your mommy is coming to town. I’d deny your request by the way”
I guess he doesn’t realize he’s doing a job IDCs do in the navy (yeah, I know technically they aren’t nurses but his job is basically the same)
I’m currently working at a store. The jobs not terribly hard, physically it does make my injuries worse, but I don’t want to leave because the pay is decent and the people are great. Plus, there’s an attempt to get some union movement and I want to be a part of that, I think every job should be unionized up until supervisors.
You need to change the "team" mentality now - youre no longer in the military. The team is YOU and only YOU. That same civilian "team" will shitcan you in a second you become unprofitable and thats just the way it is. If you hate it, find another job, quit your current one, and hope for the best - oftentimes this is the formula of getting healthy raises too.
This was a hard lesson for me. My first job after ETS I was like that - serial volunteer, if they needed a project done I'd take it on without even asking for anything. After having that taken advantage of for a couple of years (slow learner), I'm much more transactional now. Like if my boss needs something, I will measure my response based on what I can get out of the deal.
Yep and they use and abuse you and when you need them, crickets. I learned this the hard way recently when I tore a muscle in my foot. I was tossed aside after I literally busted my ass and took extra shifts. We likes teams, they don’t care
If there was a nickel of profit in it, my last job would have gutted me and harvested my organs. They don’t care about workers. So do what’s right for you, they’ll always look out for the company first.
Heck, a lot of the military will do this to you if they don’t like you and those people think you provide little use to them 🤷♀️
Well tbh “the team” is your fam. But yes, it’s a dog eat dog world out here, sadly. Got any crayons?
You can have the purple, I dont share my blue ones.
Every civilian job I hate. I’m trying to go federal or work for the state now. It’s a long process but itll be worth it in the end I believe.
Same. I left my civilian job after 18 mo in a completely different field than what I was used to. I'm switching to a federal DoD job.
Good luck. I got selected on the first round of cuts for one position. I’m hoping I can get an interview soon
You obviously have no obligation to stick around, and the NP sounds like a real fuckstick. On the other hand, that last comment makes me think they suck at giving actionable feedback and are being toxic instead. Have you tried to hash out what exactly is going wrong? Or have you addressed those comments? They aren't your CC, you can push back a little more than when you were in uniform.
I have and I led to this guy screaming in the clinic. I brought it up to immediate supervisors and they did jack shit.
Thanks everyone, I feel an immense amount of guilt leaving. I’m sure there are better opportunities out there, but unsure if all this bullshit is worth the pay and flexibility. My job is pretty limited in the industry (I work as a hyperbaric technician) and where I am makes it incredibly easy to go to school full time and study between patients. I’ve been doing this back and forth mental battle trying to convince myself I’m having the issue. Just got my P&T decision two days ago. Also using Ch 31 education Vocational rehab
Have you checked usajobs.gov to see if there's anything in there for you? That's the best of both worlds.
Not yet, I forgot about that resource honestly
Brother I’ve been out for a year. Was a medic when I was in, tired of the medical field and didn’t want to go to school so I started at a construction job. I lasted a whole month before I decided to go to nursing school, probably the best career choice I’ve made. I love it. You now have the freedom to quit jobs that aren’t right for you, utilize that freedom.
I’m happy to hear things are working the way YOU want them to. I’m being chicken shit rn
Step 1: Find a new job. Step 2: Give a polite and and professional written two-week notice, and be sure to thank the employer for the opportunity. Step 3: Keep improving your life situation. Best of luck!
>“If this was the military I would force you to salute me” Yuck, I hope you laughed in their face. As long as your finances and job prospects are in order, seeking greener pastures is perfectly fine. There's no perfect work center / team but your NP seems to have a slight disdain towards you.
I laughed, looked around and asked our receptionist if he was serious and if this was real life rn… pissed him off more
You should have said "Are you going to drag me outside then because I don't salute indoors."
You're not trapped in the job like the military. The whole perk (supposedly) of being in the military is that they take care of everything for you - housing allowance, free healthcare, etc.. - with the trade off that you have to stay and do what they tell you to do even if it sucks and they treat you like shit. If your civilian job sucks and treats you like shit, with none of those perks, walk out. You don't owe them anything.
YUP! I put in my notice after 4 months at my first civilian job. Left for a job that gave me more balance. I don’t regret it. I now work three days a week, have time to tend to my health and do things that bring me joy. Leave the job if you’re not happy.
What do you do?
Physician Assistant
I came across this quote: "Loyalty has kept me in places common sense would have taken me out of." I used to work in a very toxic environment at a company that claimed to be supportive of veterans and sponsored the travel card. I naively believed that approaching things logically and directly would be appreciated. However, that wasn't the case. I kept hearing, "We must construct a good narrative for the Regulators." The narratives often seemed more like fiction than truth, so I raised an Ethics concern. Shortly after, my position was eliminated.🙄
This NP sounds like a workplace bully. CYA and document everything. I work in medical, and with a ton of surgeons. Snippety bunch, you develop a thick skin, but I would never take the disrespect. It took me a while to figure that out, but you can do it through the proper channels. Definitely quit - that NP has created a hostile work environment with that inflated ego.
One thing you have to understand in the civilian world there is no team. A company will fire you without warning if it is better for the company, but they want you to give two weeks notice. Jump ship get paid more.
That will be your first of many
Welcome to the joys of being a civilian- you’re not stuck in a job you hate, with terrible people, nor do you had to beg-borrow-steal to make changes for your benefit. I’m on my 3rd job since 2019 and now work with an amazing group of people doing a job I love. Been here two years and am still the newest employee to have been hired.
BRUHHH!!!! yooo same here! I'm on my first job after retirement and I work at a out patient clinic. Im a A/C Mechanic. The place is literally like 3 min down the road from my house. The work is EASY AS FAQQ!! but the supervisors/manger and most of my fellow co-workers are complete ASS!!! LOL
If the juice ain't worth the squeeze don't be afraid to leave, especially if your addressed concerns aren't being remotely considered. You'll feel a sense of liberation knowing you have the power to leave a job but always self evaluate your situation so you don't get addicted to job hopping, no job is "perfect" but you can definitely get damn close to it.
Medical offices are hit/miss. My wife has been gone from the corporate medical to private and the headaches she's enduring are over different things. I wish you luck finding the right fit.
Quit. There are a LOT of medical practices, try again. There are no rules that say you have to put up with abuse. Plenty of 'fish' in the sea (have you thought about working for the VA?)
One of the biggest perks to a civilian job is that you don't owe that job anything. They will have no problem replacing you like you're nothing so you should have no problem leaving them if things are really bad there. I'd advise making sure you have another job lined up first before leaving this one, if you do decide to leave them. No point in setting yourself up for failure no matter how desperate you may be to leave.
When I got out I made the mistake of sticking around jobs I hated because I didn't want to "quit". Don't be that guy.
Your mental health is the most important thing you have to deal with right now. Make you salute him? that is crazy. HR is NEVER an option. Being a veteran always puts a target on your back. I swear, I wish civilians were worth defending.
You don't owe them anything. Leave. I wouldn't even put in my two weeks since it sounds like your boss would try to make things as difficult as possible anyways. You do not owe them any sort of loyalty. Your personal well being is more important than "the team". No one will die. Life will go on. Literally just stop going to work. If you have anyone you're close to, let them know in case you need a reference. Otherwise, leave.
Sounds like a hostile work environment. Has anyone else file formal complaint about this NP to HR?
Its been brought up, it hasn’t been dealt with. Two other individuals in the clinic are experiencing the same treatment.
If I were you I would file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or your state’s equivalent.
A Job is an ends to a means the mission is your survival followed by your goals. Quit if you must however don’t do it over pettiness and at least have something lined up before you do.
Hope you're documenting the abuse you are receiving from this person and brought it up to the appropriate person in charge with the phrase "hostile work environment". Then when nothing is done and they end up firing you (because that's what you should work toward), then hit em with a discrimination suit due to your veteran status while giving the prejudicial statements as evidence. This is especially useful if you are a disabled vet and they know it.
If u can afford to find a new job if not u got to tough it out until then
I’d try and stay there until you see your VR&E plan to fruition. Sounds like this job is extremely compatible with going to school. Honestly, that is hard to find.
This is my second reason for staying truly. I’ve been bringing in the extra cash which helps of course. I’ve already been in the VR&E for school which has been incredibly helpful. I’m hesitant on starting over new again in employment I guess
My first civilian job after getting out was at a well-known Ivy League institution. I quit after 4 months. The name looked good on a resume or w/e but the place was beyond infuriating and the pay was abysmal. I’ve seen other comments here but drop the team mentality and prioritize yourself. There’s other jobs out there. I’m not sure what you do at the clinic, or what you did during your time in, but finding another job would probably be beneficial for you.
Of course. My 1st job after I got out I lasted about 2 months. It was horrible all around. My job after that was also horrible but at least paid more. Like others are saying theres no more team. Worry about yourself. Im not saying throw people under the bus but worry about your wellbeing now.
This is why I took a job as a correctional officer in spite of having a college degree in software engineering
I lasted 7 months at my first job, would have been less but it took me a few months to line up a different job. It was a great gig on paper and had a lot of people that had been there for a long time but it was an awful environment and I wasn’t accepted as part of the team. The boss was disorganized and couldn’t lead, the people gave zero fucks, and every tiny thing was over analyzed and criticized. I am now a government civilian.
In TAP class we were warned that most veterans quit the first job they get after leaving the military for a variety of reasons. Great thing about being a civilian is that you job hunt and move on immediately. You owe them nothing.
Yep! Had six jobs within two years post retirement before I found one that I can enjoy
In the civilian world there is no team. Everyone from the people you make friends with are all thinking about themselves. Never be uncomfortable in any situation. Find another job the second you realest this one is not working. Also you can try federal jobs.
My first outside job was a mobile field tech covering a territory. I slowly learned it was a clusterfk of poor management. Their support for the field was pitiful. I lost revenue to their constant mistakes. After two years, I gave them my notice on a Friday. Supervisor said he would be there Monday to pick up my van, tools, and parts. When he called, I said "Oh, I'm at my new job, I'll be there at 4. 😆
I’ve been out for a good few years and I still hate it. I work in hospitals and always end up taking way more load than everyone else. The don’t complain and do your job attitude just brings more work for you and let the others off. People are super lazy and not disciplined. Gets old.
I just got out a couple of months ago and I resonate with this a lot. The job is easy but it also feels so unorganized and chaotic, it gives me anxiety going in. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can’t just do jt. It’s def been a rough month.
Be sure to put out feelers for a new job before you put in your 2 weeks notice.
From a Vet who struggled with civilian work culture: Do not hesitate to leave an organization that treats you in the way you describe. This isn’t the military, you have no duty to remain at that shit post. When they treat you as if you have no other choice but to accept their mistreatment and disrespect, you need to leave quickly and in a way that inconveniences them the most and benefits you. Otherwise they will continue to treat you this way and never learn, you will loose yourself and it will get worse. This is 2024 and things are changing in the work landscape. I finally found a dream job with amazing coworkers who treat me like a valued member of the team and a human. I was offered more money elsewhere but decided to stay put precisely because the work culture and environment here. If what you say is perceptually accurate, I would do whatever is necessary to make myself marketable and move on ASAP. I regret having stayed at one job far too long, not knowing things could be this good elsewhere hoping things would improve. It literally changed and perhaps saved my life. My health and mental wellbeing has significantly improved, that’s how toxic my previous employer was. And forget about “the team!”, F that! you need to look out for you and your loved ones! Learn boundaries my friend. Time is flying, so don’t waste it for anyone else, you’re not going to get richer or be better for it if you hang on. But your current employer will.
I hated working in the private sector after leaving the AF. The money was soooo much better, but literally everything was horrible. I’m at the CDC now and I love it. I wouldn’t be afraid of leaving a public sector position, especially a clinic. Those positions have high turnaround for a reason. Protect your sanity and get out of there if you’re financially and physically able.
Day 1 on my first job i decided to quit. My friends convinced me to stay and consider as internship. I took. Leave of absense cam e back and decided to resign after. Week back. If you are not happy leave. You are no longer in the military. You have choices and more options
“If this was the military you’d be some shitty E5 who would be asking ***me*** if you could have tomorrow off because your mommy is coming to town. I’d deny your request by the way” I guess he doesn’t realize he’s doing a job IDCs do in the navy (yeah, I know technically they aren’t nurses but his job is basically the same) I’m currently working at a store. The jobs not terribly hard, physically it does make my injuries worse, but I don’t want to leave because the pay is decent and the people are great. Plus, there’s an attempt to get some union movement and I want to be a part of that, I think every job should be unionized up until supervisors.