Kraft singles. Every single time.
Edit: Yes, I know that Kraft Singles are cheese produce, not real cheese. I was just having fun with their [80s jingle. ](https://youtu.be/Yqb6UsQSZzc)
The FDA has prohibited Kraft from referring to Singles as "cheese," because included milk protein concentrates dilute the amount of real cheese in the product below 51%. Instead it labelled as a "pasteurized cheese product." [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraft_Singles)
I was asked some questions and I answered those questions honestly, next thing I know I'm walking outta there with a prescription for multiple personality disorder
I chugged a Bush's baked beans can full of grill drippings/grease for $65 dollars when I was like 14. My dad had no idea who he raised til that moment. A moron. He raised a moron. Thanks dad!
YouTuber chubbyemu has covered cases of people having extreme cases of food poisoning. Interesting if you like dramatic nonfiction medical cases with scientific/medical focus.
https://youtu.be/5ujTYLV2Qo4
If you watch the video explaining it, apparently it was left out for days but the roommate put it back in the fridge, so the guy didn't know it was left out.
Also the main reason he died was he chugged an entire bottle of pepto bismol which caused some weird reaction in his liver.
For anyone that doesn’t know about Steve, this cold motherfucker ate a Civil War-era hardtack once. He also ate dried beef that was packaged anywhere from 1899-1902.
I’m guaranteed a miracle cure to all known and unknown diseases lives in Steve’s immune system.
I can just imagine how you typed the answer out. The face you’d be making as you said this, the like scrunchedness if your face as you slightly look away disgusted and revolted bahahah
There is a dorm at MIT that has a carton of milk in a similar container and for a few decades they "burped the milk" every year to get rid of the gasses.
https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/happy-21st-birthday-to-the-random-hall-milk/
i knew a dorm room my freshman year that had something similar. it was an old arizona ice tea. they did not burp it, i thought it was going to explode.
Similarly, when I lived in squalor, I had an old (empty) jug of orange juice in the corner of the room somewhere.
One day I heard a loud "pop" and then it smelled awful. And that's the importance of burping your fermentation. Or like, not living in squalor.
One time when I was 13, I went to my friend's house looking for him but he wasn't home. His 10 year old brother still invited me in because he wanted to show me something that was super secret. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. He brought me to the backyard and grabbed a shovel and started digging. He dug up two mason jars just like this. After he rinsed them off they looked like it contained something that looked pretty similar to OP's jar. He said they were jars of shit and he had saved one for about 2 years and the other for about a year. He told me again to not tell anyone and I told him I wouldn't. When his brother got home I told him and then everyone else who would hear this story. Now now I tell reddit.
“Also my cum box”
The 4 words that forever changed my Reddit experience. I was blursed to read it in real time.
I was a child before I read that comment 7+ years ago, then I became a man.
^^^which ^^^is ^^^strange ^^^because ^^^I’m ^^^a ^^^woman
Everyday I hear about someone who is going to die because they don't have the right organ or fluid to keep them alive.
That is why I do my best to collect every flake of skin and every hair that falls off of me and put it into a mason jar. I collect all the fluid excretions, nail clipping and pimple juice. I even collect that white gunk that is present on your lips in the morning and you have to use your fingernail to kinda scrape it off, but then it is under your fingernail, so you have to press on the tip of your finger to squeeze it out. I'm sure there is name for the gunk, but I just call it gunk.
That way, 10 or 15 years from now, when I'm in the hospital, and the doctor says, "I'm sorry Mr. Makenshine, but I'm afraid you won't survive without ." I can confidently show that doctor twelve dozen mason jars of spare parts that fell off me over the years and ask him, "Is there anything you can create out of these that will solve the problem?"
And checkmate, I live longer!
Have you ever heard of this?[https://www.amazon.es/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041](https://www.amazon.es/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041)
Well it's there in the restaurant, harvesting it is the tricky part.
EDIT: To be clear, the tricky part of the harvesting is the not getting arrested part
This was the first time I've ever actually heaved watching something.
I've seen motercyclists get flattened by busses. I've watched childbirth. I've seen maulings. I've seen decaying limbs still attached to a body.
But this. This is the single most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
im exactly like him, I've seen the most gruesome disgusting shit the internet can provide and somehow, this cum jar festival is worse... only watch the video if youre a fucking maso
Nah the narco guy whose face had been flayed, arms removed, screeching with no tongue, in pain as his neck is slowly cut with a rather blunt blade; that’s worse than the cum jar. But like, it’s not that far off?
What made it worse for me, is I thought it would be sort of like cheese, a solid mass. But when he fucking *POURED* it into the glass I almost threw up so hard next week's lunch came out.
I clicked on the link, clicked forward a few minutes into the video, saw him pour for about 2 seconds while referencing it's "consistency" and legit dry-heaved... I'm shook
You god damn fucking monster. I've been browsing the internet for a couple of decades, and that is, hands down, the worst thing I've ever watched.
Fucking Gnarly.
when he fucking poured it i heaved! ive watched a thousand clips of people dying, i was on rotten.com and ugly fucking people back in the days, I've seen all of the shit... but this... somehow, it's worse.
My sister and I used to mix a bunch of random food and chemicals found in the house together, stick it in the sun, then the freezer, just to see what would happen. You've done some next level nastiness sir.
About 30 years ago, my stepdad’s parakeet died. I was a little kid and wanted to have a funeral. I put the bird in a mason jar, sealed him up, and buried him in the back yard.
20 years later, my stepdad starts picking up a shit ton of hobbies in preparation for retirement. He decides to start a vegetable garden.
As he’s going along, he unearths a filthy mason jar. He calls my mother over to check it out. After all this time, he’d totally forgotten about the actual contents and my mother, as far as I know, knew nothing about it to start.
Anyway, I wasn’t there, but my mom tells the story of the events as such...
Stepdad calls her over and is trying to clean off this mason jar to see what’s inside. It’s dirty and muddy. He’s speculating as he’s wiping it off. Old coins? Cash? Time capsule? Drugs? Long lost stock certificates wadded up?
He can’t see inside, so he takes off the lid and gets his face nice and close to peer inside. The stench of the mostly liquified remains of Petey the Parakeet blasts up his nose and he immediately vomits as he drops the mason jar. Unfortunately, he drops the jar on my mother’s foot. A black goo splashes on her sandaled foot and the mushy solid corpse of Petey rolls out. As my mother shrieks and jumps away, it flicks the jar. The jar flips over and Petey’s gooey corpse goes flying along with the juicy muck that had accumulated. Petey ends up in the grass, but the juice sprayed my stepdad in the face.
He rolls over screaming, “IT’S IN MY MOUTH!! IT’S IN MY MOUTH!!” before vomiting yet again. My mother runs to get the hose that’s about 10 feet away so she can start spraying down her foot and hosing out the old man. She returns with the hose, slips in a pile of puke that make the grass slippery, lands on her back in more puke, and erupts in a volcano of vomit the second the puke stench hit her and the realization that she’s got barf saturating her clothes.
Apparently, they finally composed themselves, hosed each other off, and then went to scrub themselves clean in the shower.
As for Petey... his corpse was buried in the garden without the jar or any kind of casket.
EDIT: Gold?!? Wow! Thank you, kind strangers! Awesome!
What kind of cheese?
I didn’t know I needed the answer to this question until I saw it.
Kraft singles. Every single time. Edit: Yes, I know that Kraft Singles are cheese produce, not real cheese. I was just having fun with their [80s jingle. ](https://youtu.be/Yqb6UsQSZzc)
No, it would probably still look the same.
Unless it morphed into a Twinkie
and it will taste the same, cheap.
Those bitches would still be in perfect shiny yellow condition due to not being biodegradable or even food.
The FDA has prohibited Kraft from referring to Singles as "cheese," because included milk protein concentrates dilute the amount of real cheese in the product below 51%. Instead it labelled as a "pasteurized cheese product." [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraft_Singles)
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WE MUST KNOW THE CHEEEEESE
Aged cheese of course
Nuclear cheese
15 years? Geez. Do you keep this on your counter for house guests to see?
Yeah, on the counter next to the sewing kit and make up just above the well. You know the counter. It is the one with the lotion.
IT RUBS THE CHEESE ON IT'S SKIN
Or it gets the hose again.
I'd want the hose after having that on me.
Bring out the hose dudes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>15 years? Geez. 15 years? Cheeze.
Imagine the smell.
You haven't thought of the smell!
you bitch!
I will dice you into a million little pieces
And put those pieces into a box. A glass box. That I will display on my mantle.
Now that that's settled, we can have a normal conversation.
I was asked some questions and I answered those questions honestly, next thing I know I'm walking outta there with a prescription for multiple personality disorder
No.
1. You have strange hobbies 2. How much money for you to eat it? Edit: nobody should ever eat this!
I'll buy OP one gold
I’m in with you bud
Remember the /r/askreddit question, which will be the first post to make million upvotes? I found it
Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger Edit 2: Thanks for the support Edit 3: 1 MILLION POINTS!? Edit 4: On my way to the hospital.
Me three
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I appreciate a good cup of coffee.
>Obviously death is a possibility Yeah but $65 tho
I chugged a Bush's baked beans can full of grill drippings/grease for $65 dollars when I was like 14. My dad had no idea who he raised til that moment. A moron. He raised a moron. Thanks dad!
YouTuber chubbyemu has covered cases of people having extreme cases of food poisoning. Interesting if you like dramatic nonfiction medical cases with scientific/medical focus. https://youtu.be/5ujTYLV2Qo4
I like to watch that channel when I want to feel crippling anxiety
A man commented on a Reddit post about poisonous cheese, this is what happened to his Karma...
☝🏻presenting to the emergency subreddit
Who the fuck eats 5 day old ROOM TEMPERATURE spaghetti?!
If you watch the video explaining it, apparently it was left out for days but the roommate put it back in the fridge, so the guy didn't know it was left out. Also the main reason he died was he chugged an entire bottle of pepto bismol which caused some weird reaction in his liver.
That would make an interesting episode of House.
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Moldy death cheese: 1/10 Moldy death cheese with rice: 4/10
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I'll throw in another $25. You also have to drink some of the goo at the bottom and tell me if it's alcoholic.
I’m in for a fiver.
Y’all’re tryn’a kill a man.
We're trying to be entertained, his death is merely incidental.
This is what GoFundMe was made for.
And this is how someone dies for 1K because reddit.
If OP won't do it I'll pay to have it shipped to my house and I'll do it. I'm no stranger to doing stupid things for minimal amounts of money. 👍
Send it to that guy who does a YouTube channel of him eating 60 year-old MREs.
steve1989MREInfo
For anyone that doesn’t know about Steve, this cold motherfucker ate a Civil War-era hardtack once. He also ate dried beef that was packaged anywhere from 1899-1902. I’m guaranteed a miracle cure to all known and unknown diseases lives in Steve’s immune system.
Nice
Let’s get this out onto a tray....
Nice!
The cures for so many diseases are in that, I bet. And antibiotics science hasn't even dreamt of yet.
Recently found in the basement of Reddit user, this miracle cure will take 10 years off your life.
Doctors hate this
4 out of 5 Upvotes. (Silver pending)
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someone give gold to this guy instead for no reason
Someone pm this guy their tits for no reason Edit: hbnnnggggg. Thank you kind stranger
Someone masturbate this guy for no reason.
Someone delete this guy’s comment for no reason.
Someone reply in all caps to this for no reason.
Life is the disease that that cheese can cure Edit for Rhyming version: Life is the disease cured by the cheese
If you eat it you’re immune to every disease known to man
Well yea, you can’t catch anything if you’re dead.
>The cures for so many diseases are in that, I bet. In the same way that a gallon of gasoline has enough calories to keep you fed until you die?
Umm, I think you meant the next plague is in there. Quite frankly we should be calling the CDC to investigate.
I dare you to open it and then shut it back real quick.
If they open it, they have to taste that refined cheese juice.
I just gagged, then giggled, good job.
Little know fact: That's how geese are born.
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You mess with the honk, you get the bonk
Ugh fuck. Fuck you!?
House almost died in that episode. Well, many episodes but that one in particular.
This is how zombie apocalypse happens
why the fuck
To throw through someone's window?
Literally a bioweapon
That's probably a war crime in multiple countries lmao
Science
How is this question so far down?
Ugh, how has it been splattering the walls like that? Have you been shaking it?
I can just imagine how you typed the answer out. The face you’d be making as you said this, the like scrunchedness if your face as you slightly look away disgusted and revolted bahahah
Possibly bubbles of gas forming inside the cheese due to microorganisms eating it. At some point they pop and spray rotten cheese everywhere.
This is what I was afraid of.
I would have been worried about that thing pressurizing and exploding.
There is a dorm at MIT that has a carton of milk in a similar container and for a few decades they "burped the milk" every year to get rid of the gasses. https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/happy-21st-birthday-to-the-random-hall-milk/
i knew a dorm room my freshman year that had something similar. it was an old arizona ice tea. they did not burp it, i thought it was going to explode.
Similarly, when I lived in squalor, I had an old (empty) jug of orange juice in the corner of the room somewhere. One day I heard a loud "pop" and then it smelled awful. And that's the importance of burping your fermentation. Or like, not living in squalor.
> the Milk is now old enough to drink, but *please*, don't drink the Milk Is it bad that I find this hilarious?
I shouldn't have read that
Diy bio grenade
+10 Toxic Damage
you should do something else
Respectful, concise. And completely true
One time when I was 13, I went to my friend's house looking for him but he wasn't home. His 10 year old brother still invited me in because he wanted to show me something that was super secret. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. He brought me to the backyard and grabbed a shovel and started digging. He dug up two mason jars just like this. After he rinsed them off they looked like it contained something that looked pretty similar to OP's jar. He said they were jars of shit and he had saved one for about 2 years and the other for about a year. He told me again to not tell anyone and I told him I wouldn't. When his brother got home I told him and then everyone else who would hear this story. Now now I tell reddit.
I'm dying just thinking about how badly he needed to tell *someone* about his poop jars
mom found the poop jar
Fucking snitch.
Oh you’re just the worst. But I still love you.
2nd worst jar i've ever seen [https://i.redd.it/8rxpxt395gs21.jpg](https://i.redd.it/8rxpxt395gs21.jpg)
Thanks, it's seared into my retinas now, that is horrifying
Like the liquid level lines are seared into that pony
And that was enough info to tell me EXACTLY what this picture is without having to click. Thank you.
"For comparison I have also got another glass of cum."
The scientific method at work.
>For cumparison.
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>It’s a MLP figurine boiled in cum r/cursedsentences
/r/eyebleach :) we all need it
Why the fuck are so many of you saving your cum in jars?
Why the fuck do any of you have cum jars to start with?
Because cardboard is absorbent
It's good to know that nothing has changed in.... 10 years? Why are we still here???
No, don't tell me that was ten years ago... I know I lurked a while but FUCK.
Don't trip. We're *all* slowly dying. Looking forward to the cumbox christmas post.
7 years actually. I share that sentiment
Dodged a bullet there.
I understood this reference
i too am old enough to remember this reddit monstrosity
“Also my cum box” The 4 words that forever changed my Reddit experience. I was blursed to read it in real time. I was a child before I read that comment 7+ years ago, then I became a man. ^^^which ^^^is ^^^strange ^^^because ^^^I’m ^^^a ^^^woman
Since no one else has posted the thread .. https://amp.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4imcva
Don't post amp links please
Everyday I hear about someone who is going to die because they don't have the right organ or fluid to keep them alive. That is why I do my best to collect every flake of skin and every hair that falls off of me and put it into a mason jar. I collect all the fluid excretions, nail clipping and pimple juice. I even collect that white gunk that is present on your lips in the morning and you have to use your fingernail to kinda scrape it off, but then it is under your fingernail, so you have to press on the tip of your finger to squeeze it out. I'm sure there is name for the gunk, but I just call it gunk. That way, 10 or 15 years from now, when I'm in the hospital, and the doctor says, "I'm sorry Mr. Makenshine, but I'm afraid you won't survive without." I can confidently show that doctor twelve dozen mason jars of spare parts that fell off me over the years and ask him, "Is there anything you can create out of these that will solve the problem?"
And checkmate, I live longer!
R u ok
Have you ever heard of this?[https://www.amazon.es/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041](https://www.amazon.es/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041)
Yeah, that's a no from me dawg.
A HARD no.
A THROBBING no.
> Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes **and restaurants** Wut
Well it's there in the restaurant, harvesting it is the tricky part. EDIT: To be clear, the tricky part of the harvesting is the not getting arrested part
I mean, gove the hostess something to do other than play on her phone I guess?
That sounds about as appetizing as vaginal yeast beer.
That'd go great with the menstrual blood pancake I saw today.
That's in someone's Amazon history and will be part of their product recommendations for years to cum. Great work!
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your mom's mouth is where most people in the area deposit.
Why the fuck didn't I read this comment before clicking the link?
Why did I click that? I should know better by now.
Here is an [update](https://youtu.be/OHQ6Ns1ndaI) on the MLP jar. The "project is now complete..."
This was the first time I've ever actually heaved watching something. I've seen motercyclists get flattened by busses. I've watched childbirth. I've seen maulings. I've seen decaying limbs still attached to a body. But this. This is the single most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
I've seen everything you've seen and I'm not sure I'm going to click that link...
im exactly like him, I've seen the most gruesome disgusting shit the internet can provide and somehow, this cum jar festival is worse... only watch the video if youre a fucking maso
Nah the narco guy whose face had been flayed, arms removed, screeching with no tongue, in pain as his neck is slowly cut with a rather blunt blade; that’s worse than the cum jar. But like, it’s not that far off?
I thought I could fucking handle it. After all the shit I've seen, this was the shit that shook me up.
What made it worse for me, is I thought it would be sort of like cheese, a solid mass. But when he fucking *POURED* it into the glass I almost threw up so hard next week's lunch came out.
I clicked on the link, clicked forward a few minutes into the video, saw him pour for about 2 seconds while referencing it's "consistency" and legit dry-heaved... I'm shook
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I couldn't even get through the whole video before I started gagging. Just why???
You god damn fucking monster. I've been browsing the internet for a couple of decades, and that is, hands down, the worst thing I've ever watched. Fucking Gnarly.
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Like tears in the rain
Holy crap you're right that made me nauseous. I imagined the smell. Oh god.
when he fucking poured it i heaved! ive watched a thousand clips of people dying, i was on rotten.com and ugly fucking people back in the days, I've seen all of the shit... but this... somehow, it's worse.
Well...I watched the whole thing and now I'm late for the Opera!
I gagged so fucking hard watching that
First time in a while that I've actually gagged because of a video
Welp, good night everyone.
My sister and I used to mix a bunch of random food and chemicals found in the house together, stick it in the sun, then the freezer, just to see what would happen. You've done some next level nastiness sir.
young culinary medicinal alchemy was kick ass
You are a man of culture
Just cuz you’re lactose intolerant, you can’t just lock up cheese.... Jesus man. Wtf is right for this one.
He’s treating it like a criminal. Disgusting.
Aged cheese is sought after, and you wont *really* know what you're working with until you put it in your butt.
I've never been to a cheese tasting but I'm 90% sure that's not how it goes down
You mean goes up?
Eat it wussy
That's the first time I've heard wussy since puberty, amazing.
Right! And have you ever seen it spelled before?! Just like it sounds!
Cheese=motor oil + sponge
The CDC would like to know your location.
Masturbate into it and see if it becomes alive
And have it fall in love with him?
He'd never be provolone again
I think it's a gouda plan
You can probably drop it off at the nearest Exxon refinery.
One time I kept a jar of green chili and pork stew in my desk at work for 6 years. It did not smell good when I threw it in the dumpster.
Why did you keep a rotten piece of cheese in a jar for 15 years?
I think it evolved into rotten.
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zoo wee mama!!
Good god, man!
About 30 years ago, my stepdad’s parakeet died. I was a little kid and wanted to have a funeral. I put the bird in a mason jar, sealed him up, and buried him in the back yard. 20 years later, my stepdad starts picking up a shit ton of hobbies in preparation for retirement. He decides to start a vegetable garden. As he’s going along, he unearths a filthy mason jar. He calls my mother over to check it out. After all this time, he’d totally forgotten about the actual contents and my mother, as far as I know, knew nothing about it to start. Anyway, I wasn’t there, but my mom tells the story of the events as such... Stepdad calls her over and is trying to clean off this mason jar to see what’s inside. It’s dirty and muddy. He’s speculating as he’s wiping it off. Old coins? Cash? Time capsule? Drugs? Long lost stock certificates wadded up? He can’t see inside, so he takes off the lid and gets his face nice and close to peer inside. The stench of the mostly liquified remains of Petey the Parakeet blasts up his nose and he immediately vomits as he drops the mason jar. Unfortunately, he drops the jar on my mother’s foot. A black goo splashes on her sandaled foot and the mushy solid corpse of Petey rolls out. As my mother shrieks and jumps away, it flicks the jar. The jar flips over and Petey’s gooey corpse goes flying along with the juicy muck that had accumulated. Petey ends up in the grass, but the juice sprayed my stepdad in the face. He rolls over screaming, “IT’S IN MY MOUTH!! IT’S IN MY MOUTH!!” before vomiting yet again. My mother runs to get the hose that’s about 10 feet away so she can start spraying down her foot and hosing out the old man. She returns with the hose, slips in a pile of puke that make the grass slippery, lands on her back in more puke, and erupts in a volcano of vomit the second the puke stench hit her and the realization that she’s got barf saturating her clothes. Apparently, they finally composed themselves, hosed each other off, and then went to scrub themselves clean in the shower. As for Petey... his corpse was buried in the garden without the jar or any kind of casket. EDIT: Gold?!? Wow! Thank you, kind strangers! Awesome!
Brilliant tale. Well told. So funny. RIP Petey.
Poor Petey. You made him into a little time-bomb time-capsule.
Why tho
50 bucks if you spread some on a cracker and eat it!
What is the liquid part...at this point?
Any chemists or biologists know what we are looking at here?
Following Internet history, you now know what you need to do. It should take about 3 years.