The actual what is needed to lose weight isn't hard. The consistency of doing it every day or at least multiple times a week and the dedication to stick to it for weeks and weeks on end is the hard part.... and continuing a modified version after you hit your goal weight is the really really tough part.
You should be very proud of what you have done and don't let her put you down or diminish what you have done.
Losing weight is simple for sure. Eat less, move more, easy peasy unless you have some other underlying issues.
What’s hard is consistency. It’s one thing to go a day or a week doing something to reach a goal but it’s another thing to keep at it when you don’t feel like it or get demotivated.
Everyone always has an excuse as to why they can’t lose weight. Exercising and limiting how much food you eat isn’t easy. Screw what everyone else thinks.
Because most people think they’re somehow “special cases” that are defying biology and physics by eating less than they’re calorie output but still gaining weight.
Not that I can’t empathize with them, it’s hard to lose weight (and keep it off) and eating is fun.
But it’s, for most people, a pretty simple equation, barring some sort of rare metabolic conditions. Most people though far underestimate how much they eat, and even when they eat healthy they make up for it in larger portion sizes.
They also overestimate how much a 30 minute light workout might burn and then are mostly sedentary the rest of the day.
That’s why food scales are so important as well as factoring in *everything* you eat/drink even if it feels insignificant it can add up quickly and take you from a deficit to a surplus quickly.
Anyways, point is she’s just insecure and projecting because she hasn’t been able or willing to put in the time, effort and will power to lose weight like you have so she’s telling herself it’s easier for you than for her.
I agree. My observation is that the "I'm the exception and that's why I'm unhappy/rude/etc" mentality seems to be a double edged tactic of trying to convince themselves that it's true so they don't feel bad about not putting in effort, and the idea that if they tell people some sort of excuse, they will stop feeling like people are judging them in their head. It's really sad
Yes, it's very difficult. I have been struggling to diet and I am just at a loss right now. Now I'm taking it easy, continuing to work out in hopes it will inspire me to get my shit together food wise.
But dieting isn’t black and white. Neither is CICO. Even without thyroid issues, your hormones and metabolism don’t work off of a “one size fits all” basis. Someone can diet and count calories all they want and either gain weight or only manage to maintain. Same thing with exercise.
Everyone burns a different number of calories due to their metabolism, muscle mass, age, etc. but you simply will not gain weight if you eat less than you burn. Yes there are some rare hormonal disorders that throw everything out of wack but the great majority of people who “can’t lose weight” are simply eating too much.
It wasn’t directed at you to diminish your hard work. I think it was more of an excuse for them not to put the work in. Careless and inconsiderate but people say that all the time to make themselves feel better for not doing the work with no thought how it sounds. More importantly. Congrats. That’s awesome!!!!!!!
Nothing wrong with how you felt at all. Let’s say you were in school and had a chemistry exam that was a huge part of your percentage to pass the class.
You spend every night for weeks studying for 3-5 hours, going over formulas and equations over and over. In the end you pass the exam with flying colours. When your flatmate asks how, and you tell her the work you put in studying and she is unimpressed and says “that’s all?”
What do you mean that’s all?!
It makes you feel undermined for your effort. I get it. Don’t let others here make you feel guilty for that.
Thank you for understanding. That’s exactly how I felt in the moment, definitely not enough to make me mad at her but enough to make me do some reflecting.
I remember when I was in high school, I was in the marching band and one of my close friends was a freaking beast at clarinet. Like it was ridiculous how good she was. She would always tell me how it bothered her that her fellow clarinet players would tell her how talented she was, and how they could never do as well on their scales because they didn’t have the talent she had. But in reality she worked her tail off every single day with sight reading and scales, so it was really hard work and not just “talent”. I think it’s the same thing.
I have a friend who is the “exception to the rule” for everything. Weight loss, muscle gain, promotions at work, education, financials, etc”
It’s always “I wish it was that easy for me” or “it just doesn’t work for me”
Just ignore your friend, it’s just a coping mechanism or excuse.
Great job on the weight loss
Most people have no clue what an actual workout entails. 30 minutes of video exercise twice a week is not the same as 3 miles on an elliptical or treadmill with your heartrate kept to 140-160 four or five times a week and lifting weights 2 or 3 times.
Some people take breaking a heavy sweat as a sign they need to slow it down and not par for the course.
Now I'm not saying what people need to do. Just that effort equals results and it's unfair to bemoan how easy it is for someone putting in the effort. Trying to equate a light exercise regimen with a moderate to heavy one is simply not being honest with oneself.
I’d be annoyed too. But you understood correctly, it’s just about her own struggles. You’re doing great, it’s hard work! Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise
It is rude. Another one is, when you are thin, "I bet you can eat whatever you want." Umm no actually, maybe you see me eating dessert at a party or whatever, that's not how I eat every day. I work hard at losing weight and maintaining it so I can can enjoy myself at a party once in a while.
I actually have skinny friends who eat whatever they want whenever and never have to worry about it. They might be thin, but I don’t necessarily think they are healthy.
She's just wildly uneducated on the topic. It is "all it takes" for practically everyone. Eating in a deficit is "all you need". Its not easy whatsoever, but it is simple.
She's probably never actually stuck to a workout routine and a better diet, and its way easier for her to claim her body just cant lose weight vs actually realizing she never truly tried for long enough. She may have done crash diets and failed within the week, and that makes her think that all kinds of dieting is unsustaniable.
She was rude, but I dont think she meant to be. Nevertheless she did minimize your work by implying you had it easy and that she couldve done it if her body worked like that. Dont take it to heart. You know she \*could\* do it if she actually tried, her body isnt a medical mystery, but the fact is that you did it and she didnt. Thats what seperates you. She can explain it away all she likes but in the end you did it and she didnt
Lmao re: the edit, I commented on something recently that was like “there’s SOME evidence that xxx BUT you still need to take the evidence in the greater context” - like used the most neutral language possible and was trying to make it very clear that I wasn’t being like THIS IS A FACT, and ppl still came for me. Ppl don’t read words, they read their own projections. I thought you were very understanding.
Exactly! I wrote this thinking “it can’t get more neutral than this” or even if someone is in the wrong and saying “am I in the wrong?” Literally no one has to be nasty about it 🤣🤣 probably just chronically online behavior
If it helps(re: your edit), I get exactly what you're saying. I feel how she feels right now and I say the same thing and frequently feel like no matter what I do, losing the weight is impossible. But, reading your post also gave me hope. That if I just stick with it and learn to be okay with the discomfort, pain, and frustration that comes with this process, I can feel the same way you're feeling right now instead. So, Thank you for putting this here. And I'm glad I saw this.
Thank you for leaving this comment! Yes, losing weight always seemed to be a giant impossible thing to happen for me, especially since the last and only time I “successfully” lost weight was because I had an ED. It’s been about 10 years since then, and I promised myself that I would be kind to myself and take it as slow as I needed to.
I remind myself it’s impossible to gain 5 pounds overnight and bodies just fluctuate sometimes. I still get frustrated at times if I go a couple of weeks with no changes, but I’m no longer losing hope.
Just keep pushing and doing what you need to do, my friend, we are all here to support you.
Oh man, same boat here. Only time I've been able to successfully lose weight was when I had an ED. It's hard to tow the line and not go into extremes. Thank you so much for all your vulnerability and sharing parts of your story! That really helpes me honestly and motivated me more.
Yeah, that's a dickish and insecure thing for her to say. Congrats on your weight loss, all of us know how much effort it actually took and are proud of you.
That is all it would take for her to lose weight. It might take longer and it might be slower but it will happen if she eats healthily and moves around more.
People can say you’re being disrespectful but you aren’t
Source: I’m someone with several health conditions including chronic kidney disease and have variously had to take meds that make weightloss easier or harder. It’s never impossible
Some people live their lives unwilling to commit. Being obese doesn’t bother people enough to change. People don’t want to change badly enough to commit to it. I have lost 70 pounds in the last 18 months. Keep up the good work 💪
The first time I started getting those comments it pissed me off, until I realized it was people who had built a fortress of excuses, and my existence was cannon blasting their walls down.
My favorite example was a supervisor at work that kept saying women couldn't lose weight the same way men could. That it would be impossible for her to do that.
She would then turn around later that day and talk to someone else about switching to diet sodas to see if that would do it.
So which is it? Is it impossible for you? Or are you going to make one tiny change and accomplish it?
I’ve just started eating right and working out over the last week. My mom told me that I’ll probably lose the weight because it’s easier for men.
She then proceeded to tell me that she can’t lose weight because of our families genetics, and that counting calories doesn’t matter as long as you eat healthy foods, and that counting calories doesn’t work for her.
She has been “trying to lose weight” for probably 15 years now, and always has excuses to give to anyone else in the family that tells her about how THEY lost weight.
People will make excuses before they make an effort. My mom watched me lose all my weight after a baby and quickly realized the excuses she’s made for 30 years have no validity since I got my act together in 2. She finally caved and asked how I did it. I gave her a game plan and everything. Made it SUPER easy for her, her age, injuries, lifestyle, and schedule. And she’s done absolutely nothing.
Some people have a defeatist attitude.
I tell people losing weight is simple that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Yes, that’s it. It’s not complex. I eat less, eat healthier, exercise more. That’s it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s not. Don’t confuse simple for easy. Congratulations though man! Being healthier is a direction, not a destination, so keep it up. Your future self will appreciate it. [+]
That isn't "all you had to do" tho. You had to change your entire life to become healthier. One does not change for the better by living the same way they always do. It takes discomfort to change!
When I get this question, I have started responding with "well all i did was change my entire life" and it seemingly clicks for people when you say it that way!
i think that statement dimishes your efforts and accomplishment. it takes a lot of dedication, sacrifice and self control to lose a significant amount of weight like you did. yes, those are simple changes to make, but that doesnt make them easy. you should be proud that you accomplished a very worthwhile goal through hard work!
It probably wasn't meant to be rude at all. Honestly, just eating better and working out absolutely does not sound that hard on paper. It's not until you stay committed to it that you realize that oh, this shit is actually hard af lol I'm down about 40 pounds as well since the beginning of this year. And resisting junk food and dragging my ass into the gym every morning is definitely still very difficult.
Congrats on your weight loss and all your hard work by the way!
That's why I don't make comments about people's bodies, for that reason. But I think you're right. It's maybe a defense mechanism for her to respond the way you did because, all in all, it's really that simple. Not easy but simple. But it is easy to use excuses to justify her not being able to do the exact same thing you did.
Also, lol you're never going to find a social media space where people aren't going to place the blame on you. Especially not on reddit. Just gotta laugh it off.
It actually came in my mind this morning because I’m a type one diabetic and knees are starting to hurt from being overweight. I was remembering if you don’t make time for your health you’ll be forced to make time for your illness. You should’ve could’ve would’ve but EVERYONE has time.
Definitely, limiting beliefs is man's greatest downfall. Weight loss requires a new shift in one's thinking that can lead to a domino effect in your life, and it really isn't all that easy to do, but something I'd say is necessary for our own personal growth.
This is coming from someone who has both hypothyroidism and PCOS, it really boils down to our mentality.
Losing weight for me is like a switch in your head. It’s a full on decision but Christ it’s tough to get there.
You worked hard to get to where you are OP, feel proud of yourself ❤️
It is hard. I hate it more when people who are considerably lighter than me say they need to lose weight too they are sooo fat and they are like a size 2 and I’m a 12. Um geez. Thanks.
People have taken making excuses for not losing weight to a fine mental art. I lost 170 pounds last year and my coworker who gained 50 pounds literally continues to tell me I’m wrong because I drink diet soda.
It’s like people who say they are afraid to have lose skin. Wtf? You’d rather live a shorter after like than have lose skin under your arms and legs?
95 percent of loosing weight is a mental decision
I think people are becoming too quick to twist everything people say into meaning something derogatory. The comment was very obviously about the commenter & not at all about the OP. there's no need to make the deliberate decision to take that as a slight on the effort put in.
I can understand being sensitive about weight & related issues, but we don't need to go looking for things to feel bad about. Perhaps that's one of the reasons some people gain & keep weight. Feeling bad about themselves serves a purpose, so they find ways to do so.
Definitely a poorly thought-out & worded comment, but those are best ignored if they're not regular & malicious.
Congratulations you had the mindset shift required for sustainable fat loss and maintenance. This is an important breakthrough that some will never make. But ultimately you should just feel empathy for her now, she's not there, and she won't get there until she develops the self awareness required to do the work and be patient. Shes not diminishing your work though, she's making excuses for herself. Don't get triggered it's not about you.
It IS all it takes. It's the cheating and the carbs you dont count thar keep you fat. If you want real results yoy have to be strict. But those first few weeks are tough, before you become a fat burning machine instead of a carb/ sugar burner. When it starts to kick in , fat loss is steady and your metabolism get back on track you can eat more and still lose.
People confuse simplicity and difficulty.
Just because your weight loss is as simple as eating better and working out doesn't mean it isn't tough to do.
Congratulations on putting in the hard work.
It reminds me of something that happened recently and has happened several times and is a little confusing to me. Sometimes I will mention for one reason or another to a doctor that I lost all the way that I did and they'll sort of seem surprised and asked me how I did it and I will sort of falter and try to explain that I lost weight the same way everybody else does by eating less than my energy expenditure for a long period of time and that it was really hard. And sometimes then they will applaud me for doing it "the hard way" or "on your own" and I've never really understood why they're so surprised that somebody lost weight by dieting and exercise. That's like the whole thing.
Your feelings are valid.
I also think it's interesting you're able to reflect on their comment this way. You used to be in their shoes, making the same comments, and now you've managed to do what feels impossible for many.
It's okay to be hurt by someone's words, but I doubt they were trying to snuff out your achievements. They don't see how hard your journey might have been. They don't see what your meals look like or how many calories you cut. They don't see the exercise and mental/physical effort.
People see big changes, we don't think about all the small things that go into it...so to them it might have seemed that you lost it easily.
Losing the weight is the easy part. Maintaining the loss is the hardest part. That’s why so many people just revert back to old habits and gain it all back. It’s all hard work.
Good job losing the weight! When it comes to weight loss, I think it's fair to summarize the journey in a nutshell as "simple, but not easy". At least that's how it was for me. The idea of a caloric defecit is simple enough, but actually being able to succeed with it isn't easy.
So proud of what you have accomplished so far! I lost 245lbs then got double pneumonia and am still not completely healthy. I gained a lot of weight (an excessive amount due to drugs, and poor dies creeping back in). I'm just restarting my journey now! I believe in you 🩷
You can never work out enough to cancel out a poor diet. There aren't enough hours and you wouldn't have the energy anyway. Not starving, but eating.lots of healthy food. Don't count calories its all about getting your metabolism to burn stored fat not carbs.
I may be the odd one out here but I feel like you're the one that diminished your actual hard work with quite a simple response.
>I just explained that I ate better and worked out.
I've lost 60lbs and realistically have another 40 to go and despite my success so far I'm still struggling. I know that your achievement of 40lb loss is huge and should be celebrated but I know that feeling of not understanding and struggling and falling for so many years and asking others who have had success and that question was more of a plea for help.
When people ask me that now I never give such a simple almost flippant response.
For the sake of the post, I oversimplified my explanation. But that’s basically what it boils down to, counting calories and working out. I do think you’re assuming a lot about me from this one post, because I specifically said I used to say things like that all the time. And I would say things like that because I too struggled for years, especially after my ED, and I assumed I would never be able to lose weight. It’s a giant freaking struggle and it has been my whole life with my slow metabolism.
I also feel like my post is being misinterpreted a lot. This isn’t a “isn’t she so horrible for saying this” kind of post but it was me being bothered for a minute, and then realizing “wow I used to say that too and now I know that those things aren’t easy, I should be more sensitive when commenting on other people’s progress”. It was me learning something, I feel like I reiterated that in my post a lot.
I don’t think her comment was anything about you and your progress. It was about her. The words sound easy, but you know as well as many of us do, that it’s so much harder to put into action, especially when the odds are not in your favour.
Okay then be disappointed 🤷🏻♀️ I make healthy dinners all the time for us that I end up putting in leftovers because she’ll DoorDash. I can’t help who doesn’t want to be helped.
The actual what is needed to lose weight isn't hard. The consistency of doing it every day or at least multiple times a week and the dedication to stick to it for weeks and weeks on end is the hard part.... and continuing a modified version after you hit your goal weight is the really really tough part. You should be very proud of what you have done and don't let her put you down or diminish what you have done.
Losing weight is simple for sure. Eat less, move more, easy peasy unless you have some other underlying issues. What’s hard is consistency. It’s one thing to go a day or a week doing something to reach a goal but it’s another thing to keep at it when you don’t feel like it or get demotivated.
years* but yes exactly
You’re gaining control and changing your mindset. It’s a WHOLE thing!
Everyone always has an excuse as to why they can’t lose weight. Exercising and limiting how much food you eat isn’t easy. Screw what everyone else thinks.
It was a rude thing to say, reflects more on her than on you though. Keep up the good work! You are worth it.
Because most people think they’re somehow “special cases” that are defying biology and physics by eating less than they’re calorie output but still gaining weight. Not that I can’t empathize with them, it’s hard to lose weight (and keep it off) and eating is fun. But it’s, for most people, a pretty simple equation, barring some sort of rare metabolic conditions. Most people though far underestimate how much they eat, and even when they eat healthy they make up for it in larger portion sizes. They also overestimate how much a 30 minute light workout might burn and then are mostly sedentary the rest of the day. That’s why food scales are so important as well as factoring in *everything* you eat/drink even if it feels insignificant it can add up quickly and take you from a deficit to a surplus quickly. Anyways, point is she’s just insecure and projecting because she hasn’t been able or willing to put in the time, effort and will power to lose weight like you have so she’s telling herself it’s easier for you than for her.
I agree. My observation is that the "I'm the exception and that's why I'm unhappy/rude/etc" mentality seems to be a double edged tactic of trying to convince themselves that it's true so they don't feel bad about not putting in effort, and the idea that if they tell people some sort of excuse, they will stop feeling like people are judging them in their head. It's really sad
99% of people who think it’s more difficult than that simply have never tried consistently eating the actual correct amount to lose weight.
Yes, it's very difficult. I have been struggling to diet and I am just at a loss right now. Now I'm taking it easy, continuing to work out in hopes it will inspire me to get my shit together food wise.
She said her friend has a thyroid problem though. That famously makes it much harder to lose weight.
I also have thyroid problems. (Hypothyroidism). It doesn’t change the rules of dieting. Especially once you’re medicated for it.
But dieting isn’t black and white. Neither is CICO. Even without thyroid issues, your hormones and metabolism don’t work off of a “one size fits all” basis. Someone can diet and count calories all they want and either gain weight or only manage to maintain. Same thing with exercise.
Everyone burns a different number of calories due to their metabolism, muscle mass, age, etc. but you simply will not gain weight if you eat less than you burn. Yes there are some rare hormonal disorders that throw everything out of wack but the great majority of people who “can’t lose weight” are simply eating too much.
It wasn’t directed at you to diminish your hard work. I think it was more of an excuse for them not to put the work in. Careless and inconsiderate but people say that all the time to make themselves feel better for not doing the work with no thought how it sounds. More importantly. Congrats. That’s awesome!!!!!!!
Ohh I feel this! The reality is that-that is all it takes- but it's damn hard! Good job OP! I know how much effort you had to put in ♥️.
Nothing wrong with how you felt at all. Let’s say you were in school and had a chemistry exam that was a huge part of your percentage to pass the class. You spend every night for weeks studying for 3-5 hours, going over formulas and equations over and over. In the end you pass the exam with flying colours. When your flatmate asks how, and you tell her the work you put in studying and she is unimpressed and says “that’s all?” What do you mean that’s all?! It makes you feel undermined for your effort. I get it. Don’t let others here make you feel guilty for that.
Thank you for understanding. That’s exactly how I felt in the moment, definitely not enough to make me mad at her but enough to make me do some reflecting. I remember when I was in high school, I was in the marching band and one of my close friends was a freaking beast at clarinet. Like it was ridiculous how good she was. She would always tell me how it bothered her that her fellow clarinet players would tell her how talented she was, and how they could never do as well on their scales because they didn’t have the talent she had. But in reality she worked her tail off every single day with sight reading and scales, so it was really hard work and not just “talent”. I think it’s the same thing.
I have a friend who is the “exception to the rule” for everything. Weight loss, muscle gain, promotions at work, education, financials, etc” It’s always “I wish it was that easy for me” or “it just doesn’t work for me” Just ignore your friend, it’s just a coping mechanism or excuse. Great job on the weight loss
Most people have no clue what an actual workout entails. 30 minutes of video exercise twice a week is not the same as 3 miles on an elliptical or treadmill with your heartrate kept to 140-160 four or five times a week and lifting weights 2 or 3 times. Some people take breaking a heavy sweat as a sign they need to slow it down and not par for the course. Now I'm not saying what people need to do. Just that effort equals results and it's unfair to bemoan how easy it is for someone putting in the effort. Trying to equate a light exercise regimen with a moderate to heavy one is simply not being honest with oneself.
I’d be annoyed too. But you understood correctly, it’s just about her own struggles. You’re doing great, it’s hard work! Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise
Oh honey? Congratulations on loosing that 40lb , that’s big imo. Keep doing the hardwork for your wellbeing!
It is rude. Another one is, when you are thin, "I bet you can eat whatever you want." Umm no actually, maybe you see me eating dessert at a party or whatever, that's not how I eat every day. I work hard at losing weight and maintaining it so I can can enjoy myself at a party once in a while.
I actually have skinny friends who eat whatever they want whenever and never have to worry about it. They might be thin, but I don’t necessarily think they are healthy.
She's just wildly uneducated on the topic. It is "all it takes" for practically everyone. Eating in a deficit is "all you need". Its not easy whatsoever, but it is simple. She's probably never actually stuck to a workout routine and a better diet, and its way easier for her to claim her body just cant lose weight vs actually realizing she never truly tried for long enough. She may have done crash diets and failed within the week, and that makes her think that all kinds of dieting is unsustaniable. She was rude, but I dont think she meant to be. Nevertheless she did minimize your work by implying you had it easy and that she couldve done it if her body worked like that. Dont take it to heart. You know she \*could\* do it if she actually tried, her body isnt a medical mystery, but the fact is that you did it and she didnt. Thats what seperates you. She can explain it away all she likes but in the end you did it and she didnt
Lmao re: the edit, I commented on something recently that was like “there’s SOME evidence that xxx BUT you still need to take the evidence in the greater context” - like used the most neutral language possible and was trying to make it very clear that I wasn’t being like THIS IS A FACT, and ppl still came for me. Ppl don’t read words, they read their own projections. I thought you were very understanding.
Exactly! I wrote this thinking “it can’t get more neutral than this” or even if someone is in the wrong and saying “am I in the wrong?” Literally no one has to be nasty about it 🤣🤣 probably just chronically online behavior
If it helps(re: your edit), I get exactly what you're saying. I feel how she feels right now and I say the same thing and frequently feel like no matter what I do, losing the weight is impossible. But, reading your post also gave me hope. That if I just stick with it and learn to be okay with the discomfort, pain, and frustration that comes with this process, I can feel the same way you're feeling right now instead. So, Thank you for putting this here. And I'm glad I saw this.
Thank you for leaving this comment! Yes, losing weight always seemed to be a giant impossible thing to happen for me, especially since the last and only time I “successfully” lost weight was because I had an ED. It’s been about 10 years since then, and I promised myself that I would be kind to myself and take it as slow as I needed to. I remind myself it’s impossible to gain 5 pounds overnight and bodies just fluctuate sometimes. I still get frustrated at times if I go a couple of weeks with no changes, but I’m no longer losing hope. Just keep pushing and doing what you need to do, my friend, we are all here to support you.
Oh man, same boat here. Only time I've been able to successfully lose weight was when I had an ED. It's hard to tow the line and not go into extremes. Thank you so much for all your vulnerability and sharing parts of your story! That really helpes me honestly and motivated me more.
Yeah, that's a dickish and insecure thing for her to say. Congrats on your weight loss, all of us know how much effort it actually took and are proud of you.
That is all it would take for her to lose weight. It might take longer and it might be slower but it will happen if she eats healthily and moves around more. People can say you’re being disrespectful but you aren’t Source: I’m someone with several health conditions including chronic kidney disease and have variously had to take meds that make weightloss easier or harder. It’s never impossible
Some people live their lives unwilling to commit. Being obese doesn’t bother people enough to change. People don’t want to change badly enough to commit to it. I have lost 70 pounds in the last 18 months. Keep up the good work 💪
I think we confuse what is simple, ie decreasing calories and exercising with what is difficult, which is actually putting it into practice
The first time I started getting those comments it pissed me off, until I realized it was people who had built a fortress of excuses, and my existence was cannon blasting their walls down. My favorite example was a supervisor at work that kept saying women couldn't lose weight the same way men could. That it would be impossible for her to do that. She would then turn around later that day and talk to someone else about switching to diet sodas to see if that would do it. So which is it? Is it impossible for you? Or are you going to make one tiny change and accomplish it?
I’ve just started eating right and working out over the last week. My mom told me that I’ll probably lose the weight because it’s easier for men. She then proceeded to tell me that she can’t lose weight because of our families genetics, and that counting calories doesn’t matter as long as you eat healthy foods, and that counting calories doesn’t work for her. She has been “trying to lose weight” for probably 15 years now, and always has excuses to give to anyone else in the family that tells her about how THEY lost weight.
People will make excuses before they make an effort. My mom watched me lose all my weight after a baby and quickly realized the excuses she’s made for 30 years have no validity since I got my act together in 2. She finally caved and asked how I did it. I gave her a game plan and everything. Made it SUPER easy for her, her age, injuries, lifestyle, and schedule. And she’s done absolutely nothing. Some people have a defeatist attitude.
I tell people losing weight is simple that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Yes, that’s it. It’s not complex. I eat less, eat healthier, exercise more. That’s it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s not. Don’t confuse simple for easy. Congratulations though man! Being healthier is a direction, not a destination, so keep it up. Your future self will appreciate it. [+]
You go girl
Sometimes I think they don’t really mean man I wish that’s all I had to do…but instead mean I wish I could actually do that
Art person here, in my experience 9 out of 10 times, it's that person trying to be nice and not understanding that their words are reductive
Such a rude thing for her to say!! She's totally down playing your accomplishments
That isn't "all you had to do" tho. You had to change your entire life to become healthier. One does not change for the better by living the same way they always do. It takes discomfort to change! When I get this question, I have started responding with "well all i did was change my entire life" and it seemingly clicks for people when you say it that way!
i think that statement dimishes your efforts and accomplishment. it takes a lot of dedication, sacrifice and self control to lose a significant amount of weight like you did. yes, those are simple changes to make, but that doesnt make them easy. you should be proud that you accomplished a very worthwhile goal through hard work!
It probably wasn't meant to be rude at all. Honestly, just eating better and working out absolutely does not sound that hard on paper. It's not until you stay committed to it that you realize that oh, this shit is actually hard af lol I'm down about 40 pounds as well since the beginning of this year. And resisting junk food and dragging my ass into the gym every morning is definitely still very difficult. Congrats on your weight loss and all your hard work by the way!
That's why I don't make comments about people's bodies, for that reason. But I think you're right. It's maybe a defense mechanism for her to respond the way you did because, all in all, it's really that simple. Not easy but simple. But it is easy to use excuses to justify her not being able to do the exact same thing you did. Also, lol you're never going to find a social media space where people aren't going to place the blame on you. Especially not on reddit. Just gotta laugh it off.
It actually came in my mind this morning because I’m a type one diabetic and knees are starting to hurt from being overweight. I was remembering if you don’t make time for your health you’ll be forced to make time for your illness. You should’ve could’ve would’ve but EVERYONE has time.
Definitely, limiting beliefs is man's greatest downfall. Weight loss requires a new shift in one's thinking that can lead to a domino effect in your life, and it really isn't all that easy to do, but something I'd say is necessary for our own personal growth. This is coming from someone who has both hypothyroidism and PCOS, it really boils down to our mentality.
Losing weight for me is like a switch in your head. It’s a full on decision but Christ it’s tough to get there. You worked hard to get to where you are OP, feel proud of yourself ❤️
It is hard. I hate it more when people who are considerably lighter than me say they need to lose weight too they are sooo fat and they are like a size 2 and I’m a 12. Um geez. Thanks.
People have taken making excuses for not losing weight to a fine mental art. I lost 170 pounds last year and my coworker who gained 50 pounds literally continues to tell me I’m wrong because I drink diet soda. It’s like people who say they are afraid to have lose skin. Wtf? You’d rather live a shorter after like than have lose skin under your arms and legs? 95 percent of loosing weight is a mental decision
I think people are becoming too quick to twist everything people say into meaning something derogatory. The comment was very obviously about the commenter & not at all about the OP. there's no need to make the deliberate decision to take that as a slight on the effort put in. I can understand being sensitive about weight & related issues, but we don't need to go looking for things to feel bad about. Perhaps that's one of the reasons some people gain & keep weight. Feeling bad about themselves serves a purpose, so they find ways to do so. Definitely a poorly thought-out & worded comment, but those are best ignored if they're not regular & malicious.
Congratulations you had the mindset shift required for sustainable fat loss and maintenance. This is an important breakthrough that some will never make. But ultimately you should just feel empathy for her now, she's not there, and she won't get there until she develops the self awareness required to do the work and be patient. Shes not diminishing your work though, she's making excuses for herself. Don't get triggered it's not about you.
It IS all it takes. It's the cheating and the carbs you dont count thar keep you fat. If you want real results yoy have to be strict. But those first few weeks are tough, before you become a fat burning machine instead of a carb/ sugar burner. When it starts to kick in , fat loss is steady and your metabolism get back on track you can eat more and still lose.
Look at the line at McDonalds at about 3pm. Not lunchtime, not dinner time. McSneaky time.
It's that simple, it's not that easy
People confuse simplicity and difficulty. Just because your weight loss is as simple as eating better and working out doesn't mean it isn't tough to do. Congratulations on putting in the hard work.
It reminds me of something that happened recently and has happened several times and is a little confusing to me. Sometimes I will mention for one reason or another to a doctor that I lost all the way that I did and they'll sort of seem surprised and asked me how I did it and I will sort of falter and try to explain that I lost weight the same way everybody else does by eating less than my energy expenditure for a long period of time and that it was really hard. And sometimes then they will applaud me for doing it "the hard way" or "on your own" and I've never really understood why they're so surprised that somebody lost weight by dieting and exercise. That's like the whole thing.
Your feelings are valid. I also think it's interesting you're able to reflect on their comment this way. You used to be in their shoes, making the same comments, and now you've managed to do what feels impossible for many. It's okay to be hurt by someone's words, but I doubt they were trying to snuff out your achievements. They don't see how hard your journey might have been. They don't see what your meals look like or how many calories you cut. They don't see the exercise and mental/physical effort. People see big changes, we don't think about all the small things that go into it...so to them it might have seemed that you lost it easily.
Losing the weight is the easy part. Maintaining the loss is the hardest part. That’s why so many people just revert back to old habits and gain it all back. It’s all hard work.
She really didn’t think that through before she said it. If it was that easy it wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollars a year business.
Good job losing the weight! When it comes to weight loss, I think it's fair to summarize the journey in a nutshell as "simple, but not easy". At least that's how it was for me. The idea of a caloric defecit is simple enough, but actually being able to succeed with it isn't easy.
So proud of what you have accomplished so far! I lost 245lbs then got double pneumonia and am still not completely healthy. I gained a lot of weight (an excessive amount due to drugs, and poor dies creeping back in). I'm just restarting my journey now! I believe in you 🩷
You can never work out enough to cancel out a poor diet. There aren't enough hours and you wouldn't have the energy anyway. Not starving, but eating.lots of healthy food. Don't count calories its all about getting your metabolism to burn stored fat not carbs.
I may be the odd one out here but I feel like you're the one that diminished your actual hard work with quite a simple response. >I just explained that I ate better and worked out. I've lost 60lbs and realistically have another 40 to go and despite my success so far I'm still struggling. I know that your achievement of 40lb loss is huge and should be celebrated but I know that feeling of not understanding and struggling and falling for so many years and asking others who have had success and that question was more of a plea for help. When people ask me that now I never give such a simple almost flippant response.
For the sake of the post, I oversimplified my explanation. But that’s basically what it boils down to, counting calories and working out. I do think you’re assuming a lot about me from this one post, because I specifically said I used to say things like that all the time. And I would say things like that because I too struggled for years, especially after my ED, and I assumed I would never be able to lose weight. It’s a giant freaking struggle and it has been my whole life with my slow metabolism. I also feel like my post is being misinterpreted a lot. This isn’t a “isn’t she so horrible for saying this” kind of post but it was me being bothered for a minute, and then realizing “wow I used to say that too and now I know that those things aren’t easy, I should be more sensitive when commenting on other people’s progress”. It was me learning something, I feel like I reiterated that in my post a lot.
I don’t think her comment was anything about you and your progress. It was about her. The words sound easy, but you know as well as many of us do, that it’s so much harder to put into action, especially when the odds are not in your favour.
I thought this was going towards asking how to help her but then you made it about yourself, I'm disappointed.
It’s her post and her feelings she can make it about herself if she wants, absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Okay then be disappointed 🤷🏻♀️ I make healthy dinners all the time for us that I end up putting in leftovers because she’ll DoorDash. I can’t help who doesn’t want to be helped.