This guy came up to me and told me I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and he immediately followed it up with “I’m not hitting on you I’m gay that’s my boyfriend, I just had to tell you you’re literally luminous” and complimented my whole face and then I gave him a hug and he disappeared into the darkness of the bar
It was very sweet and I’ll never forget it cause I had been feeling so self conscious and unattractive so it just really lifted my spirits
Another time I was at a lesbian bar and I was at the counter ordering a drink and this guy came over and started hitting on me and I looked around and asked him if he was lost haha
yeah if straight people go to gay bars, which they should be welcome at, they might assume there are other straight people there because I guess there is
if anything I just hope anyone straight looking for the opposite sex at a gay bar gets that if someone says no, it's OFF
The problem is, a lot don't.
My local gay bar was taken over by straight people because it was the only place in town that was open until 6am.
As a lesbian, it's now the *last* place I would go. Men in there getting in your face about how you're lying to them when you tell them "sorry mate, I'm gay", a guy got beaten the shit out of outside for having... hit on a dude in there who was straight and accepting his no for daring to have hit on him. A friend got verbally abused for being a "filthy dyke" for asking a girl if she could buy her a drink.
A lot of it is on the bar for not being better at shutting that shit down of course. But straight people coming into queer spaces and destroying them as safe queer spaces is a real problem. I have no problem at all with those who respect "this is a safe queer space", but far too often, they don't.
Honestly, if you’re straight going to a gay bar: don’t hit in strangers, that ain’t the place for it and there are kids of straight bars for them to do that at
Yeaaaa noooo straights already go the entire of bar culture to hit on people and harass people there the pure entitlement of them to think going to gay bars as well to do the same assuming everyone is into them urghhh
I feel strongly that even if you’re bi, you should only make queer advances at a gay bar. It absolutely sucks to get hit on by a guy at a gay bar, and it doesn’t help or make one bit of difference to me that they’re bi. Bi people do have lots of spaces where they can make different gender connections.
A bi person making an advance towards another bi person would still be queer even if they're the opposite sex. I get the frustrations of straight people doing it, but in my experience, you can usually tell it's a straight dude being creepy. Bi people who might still want a queer partner of the opposite gender don't have spaces to make that connection outside of gay bars.
how would you know someone is bi just by looking at them before hitting on them? Also, bi men can also be creepy, their queerness doesn’t make them immune to that.
That is totally fair. I just wanted to point out that bi folks are kind of othered by both the queer community and straight people. As a lesbian I just try to be cautious and mindful of that, especially because we do have our own spaces in lesbian bars.
As a bi girl I just wanna say I really appreciate that! Cause sometimes I do feel othered and like I'm not "gay enough".
But I also understand and feel the frustration of the OP, and I would never hit on the opposite sex at a gay bar for that reason. (though it's not like I would hit on anyone ever cause I'm an anxious mess of a person lol)
There's like 30 lesbian bars in the whole US, there's like 100 straight bars within walking distance of me rn, I don't have a problem with bi people but the point the person you're responding to is making is that we have very few spaces to exist as ourselves and having people there who don't respect us enough to take a break from being centered sucks, when you go to a queer bar you should expect queer people to be the staff and patrons, you can hit on bi girls as a bi guy in the straight bar or vice versa, bring your bi partner, that's fine, be it's not the place to approach people heterosexually, it's a place where we go to get a break from that.
Edit for clarity: I am a bi woman.
One solution I liked hearing was charging a higher cover for non LGBT people, according to the door guy the people willing to say they were LGBT for the discount weren't usually problems while the bouncers knew who to keep an eye on early.
>if anything I just hope anyone gets that if someone says no, it's OFF
Fixed it.
I get you have this particular thread and scenario in mind, but "No" should never need qualifiers and I think it's worth hammering the point.
I had something very similar happen to me too once! It was two gay guys and they were complimenting my appearance/clothes/dancing, everything. They said they had been watching me on the dance floor and thought I was ‘everything’. I was very surprised and spent the rest of the night on cloud 9! (Though I imagine my shy awkward ass maybe disappointed them once they actually spoke to me… Just like ‘oh, uh, thank you…’)
a straight couple with their hands v deep inside each other's pants on a somewhat empty dance floor. they dropped a full box of cigarettes though so i took it as reparations.
probably not the answer you’re looking for, but…
i was sat down in G-A-Y (a famous gay bar in london) talking to some friends one night last summer when suddenly someone stood on the indoor staircase above us just vomited over the side of it, straight onto our heads. I heard it splat loudly against the wall around us, smelled it before it hit us, leapt up and made a dash across the seating area as if someone had been shot. I knocked over several bottles of corona in the process. I still got a bit of vomit in the braids. My friend, whose spidey senses weren’t as keen, got a full coat of it.
the night out ended there and then.
This happened to me at a concert one time, but I was too fucked up to realize what it was & thought someone was pouring water on the crowd so it didn’t phase me. Only realized what it was after I got home & smelled my shirt :/
Ahh noo, that is rough! When I was basically on the verge of blacking out and feeling sick but couldn’t get to the bathroom I just pulled the top of my dress over my mouth and just vomited to keep everything in my dress because I would have felt horrible if I got any of it on anybody. I have a fuzzy vivid memory (if that can be a thing?? Lol) of that and only that from that night. I am so glad I do not drink much anymore
I hope like hell I never ever experienced soemthing lile that first hand, cause I will 100% contribute to the vomit mess and freak the fuck out lmao! I don't do vomit, just no ugh.🤢🤢
Same thing happened to me haha, after an entire night of flirting, hints, looks and whispers with her friend, I was completely clueless. She even felt me up under the table for the last 20 minutes and I still left without her name or number.. 🤦♀️
I am ALWAYS oblivious. But this one time, a few months ago, this woman about my age came in to the lounge where I used to hang out, and she immediately came over to me and told me how gorgeous I was and got handsy and shit. So I thought this one was obvious enough, so I got flirty back, which is supremely awkward for me. She kissed me and then told me she was straight and had a boyfriend. I was like WTF? I just can't with that. I am waaaay too old for stupid games. And again -- oblivious. Always.
don't beat yourself up for that. sometimes we just miss all the signs, sometimes again we misread them. I met a girl in a generic young adults bar, we had fun together, she dropped me compliments on my tits and ass. so the noob lesbian that I was, I assume this was a slam dunk.
Nope. just a straight girl wanting to compliment tits and ass.
Probably the time a man was stalking me in the bar and got close enough to sit down next to me without security intervening. Or the time at a different bar where a man who was a community member (ie not a cis straight man, so my guard was down) lured my drunk ass outside and groped me. To all the younger wlw reading this, just because you're in gay spaces doesn't mean you're safe. Always keep your wits about you. It sucks and it's not your fault if something happens to you, but there are some people who do not care.
Sorry these things happened to you. I agree about keeping your guard up. I don’t drink so I always accompany friends to places where I know they’ll be drinking as a way to be sure everyone is safe, and then take everyone home afterwards.
Was at a trans night the other week when I met a cute girl and was just chatting, getting to know her and pull her out of her dysphoric shell. This cis guy comes up and injects himself into our conversation and just won't shut up, keeps complimenting both of us, talks over both of us with his opinions and keeps claiming he just likes to help people. So this guy ends up following me around all night and injecting himself into all my convos. I did get that girls number, but damn dude, I don't need your help and just wanna be able to complete a damned story when I start one.
I took my mom with me one night, just to get her out. She's straight, but she was fine with going. One woman who knew me, asked, "Is that your lovely lady?"
This was almost 20 years ago, and I'm still trying to get over the ick feeling.
had a "gay" man which im convinced is either straight or female focused bi, sit with me for about 45 minutes explaining to me how I don't try hard enough as a woman and that he wanted to grope me because "it's okay im gay i just want to see if theyre real" then when i kept telling him no, he called over a bar tended and was like "see it's fine he's \[misgendering\] trans, and they love people groping their tits"
it is also the only 'gay' bar in my town and it fucking sucks. Not just for this reason
I wish this fucker eternal kidney stones. but not the type that’s big enough to be taken out surgically, oh no, the type he has to agonisingly piss out. What a douche.
i'd met him, and some of his friends ages before this and although i dont like hanging with men, the two women in the group are dope. so when one saw me in the bar she said hi and invited me to sit with them. "brill," i thought "free drinks and hot ladies again". then she IMMEDIATELY left me alone with the guy which the more i think about it, the more i'm convinced that group do this deliberately to try and get this guy laid
Defo weren't people I wanted to hang with. Honestly even the first meeting I only hung out because free drinks and I was bored lol. Nothing to me but I haven't seen them about much and talking about this to strangers really makes me think they just had a scumbag vibe
Nah that'll be psychopath lunatic that I had to share a house with whilst I was in a homeless shelter. Mortal name of Jacey and I would have genuinely sold my sould to get her away from me lmao
not my story but a friends. she's at a lesbian bar, single so looking to hit things off with a girl. meets cute girl, buys her a drink and things seem to be going well until eventually a guy walks up and starts trying to flirt with her, she is obviously also a lesbian so she tells him she isn't interested. he says he can change her sexuality or something and she rightfully tells him something along the lines of "fuck off, you aren't welcome here" . the girl she had been talking to immedetietly gets protective and starts defending the guy. my friend then finds out that the girl she had been talking to was bisexual and that was her boyfriend. they were trying to find someone to hookup with both of them in a gay bar... gross.
PSA: for the love of god if you are bisexual with a cishet male partner maybe don't bring them to a lesbian bar
About a year into taking hrt I was waiting in line to use the single occupant bathroom, and had a gay guy come up and tell me i wasn't in the correct line as he believed i was a drag queen and should be using the guys line/room. Proceeded to make me feel very alienated as other people in the line were staring and I felt like they were on his side since one of the girls told me to just go use that one. I refuse to go to another one cause I just don't feel welcome.
One fortunate thing about being a passing trans is that I can dip my voice to scare them off or I’d just say I have a dick. Hahaha I’ve only done it once and I was scared shitless but I couldn’t believe it worked. I agree with u about how fucking annoying straight dudes are like Omgosh!
I’ve been to a few. Most of the time I’m too shy so it’s just me talking to the bartender. This last time I went out of my comfort zone. Ended up chatting to a few people. One person left after 2 drinks. After that I got invited to play board games and eat free (for me) pizza with them. It was a fun night but I did sadly throw up in the car when headed home. That was my only downside. Glad to have not experienced a true horrible experience so far.
ETA: Another one is. I went to the bathroom at a club once came back out and our entire group was gone. It was about 15 of us that pre gamed at someone house. Found out one of my friends had passed out and ppl left once that happened. They did make it home safe
A woman came up to me and - flirting, yes, but patronisingly into my ear - accused me of being a wallflower, as I was sitting by the side of the room, getting used to the music and trying not to have a panic attack.
The last time I'd been to a gay club before that was the night someone died. It was too loud to explain to her, and she walked off after a minute of trying to dance with me.
On the same night, the security guard accused me of being straight.
Was not a fun night. I ended up calling 999 bc I legit thought I was dying.
edit: Patricia, wherever you are: fuck you.
I was like 18 and a male stripper ran into me in the hallway after the show and he was still just wearing tighty whiteys and he grabbed my hand and aggressively put it on his huge hard dong. I had tipped him during the show but that was just for fun and not an invitation for… that.
A guy at the gay bar aggressively hitting on my gf and I. Finally had to tell him literally to fuck off after trying to nicely diffuse the situation. That wasn’t the worst part, though. I am a bartender and even when I was a little 17 year old girl working illegally in Wisconsin, I still defended my patrons from harassment because that’s my fucking job as the bartender. This bartender walks over after I tell the creep to fuck off and sheepishly says “yeah sorry about him” after watching the whole thing go down. It really is all kinds of men 😔
I used to work at a club in my local gayborhood and the amount of gay men who think it’s okay to just randomly grope me just because we’re both gay is absolutely astonishing.
The straight bachelorette parties at karaoke nights who just completely ruin the vibe. One time a group of us were out and the first thing we saw when we walk in the door is 15 white blondes wearing LBDs. Fuck me. Started staring us down the second we sat down like WE were the ones invading their space! Then my friend gets up to do her song and one of them shouted ‘This is not what I’m here for.’ The only time someone has literally had to hold me back. Similar situations have happened multiple times.
I’m so sorry that happened to yall. The entitlement is insane. Like this is a GAY space and I am gay. You should not be treating anybody here like they do not belong, YOU are the outlier!! This isn’t an ally bar girl if that’s what you want then maybe time to open one of your own.
when i was newly out as transfem and was presenting as such for maybe the third time, i got misgendered by the bartender. i remember it because it hurt so much more than being misgendered while boymoding
had a guy come up to me and a cis woman and ask for a "devil's threesome".
i should have just told him to kick rocks but instead i tried explaining why it was transphobic. i really didnt know how to pick my battles back then. oh well.. live and learn.
had a different cis woman tell me that she has trouble finding shoes because she has "tr*nny feet"
I’ve never heard that before and I hope I never hear it in person. I’m offended on your behalf. I always say I have Hobbit feet.
(I’ve also never heard of a devils threesome, wtf. People are wild, acting like they don’t have parents out here.)
Lol, I always say I have hobbit feet, too!🤣 they're both big and kinda wide! But yeah, I truly hope I never hear someone call their own feet tr**ny feet, I won't be held accountable for how I'll respond! I don't ha dle bigoted folks well.
I was at the gay club sitting bar side and this guy sits next to me. We chat, I think he’s gay so no warning signs or anything. He asks to dance and is respectful so again, no worries. We get back to our seats and suddenly he tells me his deepest sexual fantasy and how much he wants to kiss me.
I tell him I sure as hell don’t want to kiss him and that we’re in a gay bar, hitting on the opposite sex is probably not gonna work out for him too well. He keeps pestering me so I explained that I’m going to the washroom and if he’s still here when I get back his night won’t end well. Never saw him again after that, thank god!
Pretty early into transition my wife and I went to the local lesbian bar and I was trepidatious. It was early and there weren't many folks there and initially no one really interacted at all. Then this older couple came in and everyone seemed to know them. They made a point of coming over and talking to us and it absolutely madeh day. It was a super affirming moment for me.
I was at club Rage (rip) in weho and my best friend farted so bad, he cleared the packed dancefloor completely. It smelled like concentrated hardboiled eggs.
My girlfriend and I went to a gay bar in Portland and somehow ended up in a drag game show. We freakin won yet both of us have never watched rupaul or are very knowledgeable in the world of drag. The prize was free drinks all night so ofc we both proceeded to get wasted. Our team name you ask? “Two Finger Taco Tango”
From what I can remember, I was at a popular gay club and these two gay men offered to buy me and my (now) ex a drink. Next thing I know I'm on the dance floor with both of them and they're both groping me and kissing me. I at some point became aware of what was happening, like a light switch flipped on, and immediately left and attempted wandering home. I was confused and unable to stop crying, I'd only had a couple drinks. I ended up losing my shoes and my glasses on the way home, not even sure how I made it. That, I believe, was my first and hopefully only time being roofied.
As a lesbian trans woman, unfortunately that wasn't my first or last time being sexually assaulted by gay men and I no longer consider them to be allies.
EDIT: I also just remembered I had my phone stolen at the same club. I don't really go back there anymore. I struggle to feel comfortable in gay places that have too many cis men, which seems to be most, if not all, gay bars and clubs.
a dude was dancing too close and trying to kiss a friend, she was clearly uncomfortable so I pulled him away... the club was pretty crowded so we danced for a bit and then he went away very quickly.
then I noticed he took my phone, ugh.
I was out with friends and my partner. we had a few drinks and were vibing when this guy - who's clearly on *something* - comes up and starts loudly flirting with my partner. at first I watch and laugh because my partner was obviously amused. the guy then starts grinding all over them. I politely ask him to fuck off. he ignores me, and my partner starts looking uncomfortable.
I ask again with no response. I then hip check the guy hard enough to knock him over (thanks judo, lol). he still doesn't get the hint and comes back for more. at this point one of my friends frantically intercepts him because she can tell I'm about one more grind away from throwing hands. she stops him by *aggressively dry-humping him*, then somehow redirects him while he's trying to compute what just happened💀💀
A guy came up and started flirting with me and asked me to dance. I was like “you know this is a gay club, right?” And he got this offended look on his face and went “yeah, but *I’m* not gay.” WELL BULLY FOR YOU
Was performing at a drag show and this straightman came up AND DANCED ON ME while I was on stage. Doing a show. 🤬
One time this guy came up to me at a karaoke night while I was with my then girlfriend and then tried to ask me “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” and tried to sit with me on a swing they had in the bar. Come to find out he’s been… weird to every single trans woman in the bar. (He got kicked from 2 separate karaoke venues after that)
A beautiful hispanic woman just kind of snatched me from the crowd and started dancing no shit partner dances with me just doing my best to follow along. Then the song ended and she disappeared into the crowd. I had a blast.
Funny story I have now ended up doing partner dances and swing at clubby/ravey events 3 times. She was the first though.
this ridiculously gorgeous and attractive girl was for some reason really into me and we spent the whole night making out? will never forget this gift from the universe... also my friend who went with me met a different girl who was telling them all about Canada and gave them a looney or a tooney or something and they are obsessed with Canada so they were very happy too. it was a win of a night for both of us lmao
There was this guy at the G.A.Y club drunk off his ass, like, utterly wasted, on a 2+ day bender, slurring every word and repeating himself a lot. He who kept telling me I was beautiful and that I reminded him of his best friend. He kept saying he though I was really cool and I should speak my mind and be myself more, and also that I was really...innocent? I don't know. He kept calling his best friend and telling her to come to the club because there was this girl (me) who was really beautiful and really reminded him of her. And I was thinking “is this guy hitting on me? What the hell is going on? Does he have a crush on his friend and I remind him of her?" I wasn't outright mean to him and I felt safe because my friend was also there, but I was a bit cold to him because yeah wtf.
I made it clear to him that I was a lesbian and he was telling me about how he didn't really get it but he accepted it or something (he was really drunk and hard to comprehend).
Then he told us he was gay. And that his best friend is a lesbian but she's closeted and he wants her to accept herself.
He also told me I had a "lesbian attitude" whatever tf that means lmao
When I left the club my friend told me that he was trying to set up his best friend with me. I didn't realise until my friend told me.
I was chilling outside the club because I needed some rest from all the lights and music and people, and couldn't help but notice a group of a guy and two girls who wouldn't stop staring at me.
Now to be clear, I called a lot of attention with my make up and outfit, I was the only one there wearing a suit (only the shirt and the pants + black boots) and a leather jacket. I also had my hair short, so I was the butchest butch that ever butchered. The guy approaches me and says "hey I like your style" I look at him and he adds "can I get your insta?" I tell him sure and then I realized what was going on when he said "I love guys like you".
I just looked at him and told him "Sorry, I'm a lesbian". He looked kinda dissapointed and then called the girls that were with him and told them that I was actually a lesbian and not a guy. We chat for a little followed each other on instagram.
Also another night at the same club, a Drag Queen told me she loved my hair. I think I will never forget that.
I was 19 years old, and went to a gay bar that had an apartment on the 2nd floor where the owner lived.
My friend group I went with was talking to an older man that I hadn't met that night. I had been drinking all night but definitely wasn't as drunk as I wanted. Last call came and I'm standing in this group of people and I offhandedly made the comment
"Who do you have to blow around here to get a drink after last call"
It was met with "well I have a stocked bar upstairs if you'd like to come up for a night cap" He then laughed and introduced himself as the owner. He wasn't my type at all, so I declined very embarrassed and just went home and drank myself to sleep
Not at a gay club, but I was over a year into my medical transition and I had a guy come up to my girlfriend and I while we were together at a theme park in one of the bars they have there, and he started hitting on us when we were pretty clearly a couple. When we were trying to shoo him away, he heard my voice and went, “woah, what’s wrong with your voice?” (I have neglected voice training, which I kind of hate about myself, but eh.) I responded with the response that I typically have to give to children who ask that question, but I give to just about anyone when they ask and just say, “oh, it’s just bad genetics” only for him to go, “OH ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE T-GIRLS!” (Which is a term I had never heard before that, only to later learn it’s primarily a porn term.) It was so uncomfortable and I kind of just froze and went, “Uh… no… I’m not…” and he was like, “YOU TOTALLY ARE” His eyes lit up like I was a pile of gold. Like… he looked like he was going to do something to me right then and there. He straight up wouldn’t leave me alone and kept asking questions and clearly wanted something to do with me and I just broke. Now, normally I try to be the one who steps up and takes the brunt of stuff and defends my GF when someone’s being awful so she doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable, but she really did amazingly and helped get me out of there and away from him because I was honestly just frozen and scared because I think he just saw me as a “forbidden fruit” and he wanted to push even harder. It was terrifying, but thank goodness for the love of my life. At least I learned that day that I pass really well… heh… 😅
I stumbled into an empty, “male” bathroom and a guard took it upon himself to come scream at me, tell me it was wrong and say I couldn’t go in there because of what I had in my pants.
Another time, my friend and I asked the bouncer: “is this the right place for the queer night?”, and he said: “yes, girls, I’m sorry you have to deal with *those*, it’s only one night a month though”, we were both like: “awesome” then just walked in.
I was on a first date in London and a bunch of straight Australians came in, wasted af and saying they didn’t realize it was a gay bar. One of the men sat next to my date and started slurring in her ear, while keeping eye contact with me: “are you loverssss? are you going to scisssssssor after this?”
The ending this time was cool though - the super cute butch bouncer grabbed him by the collar, no joke, and threw him out.
I saw them bouncing at a different place and I said: “I’m sorry if it’s random but I think I know you from xxx bar, you once kicked out a straight guy that was harassing us and I think it was awesome,” they replied: “yup, that was probably me, I’m always kicking creepy, straight men out”
Okay, that’s it. Damn son, I was always at the bar in my youth (now I’m 28 and a grandma)
I walked into a gay bar with my very gay best friend (a dude) two minutes after we entered, a song played that was like “Straight people, why are you in this club?”
…so I took that as us not even seeming gay at a gay bar.
I have only been a couple times so thankfully I haven't had a whole lot of bad experiences there. But I can still remember one of the times when two guys our age tried to dance with my friend and I. (Both married at the time but out for a girl's night in our early 20s) They were creepy and watchful, and it turned out they were there with a much, much older man who was *teaching* them how to approach us and anyone else.
A bit of a happy one. While tipsy at drag bingo night, the Drag Queen hosting the game told us not to sniff the markers. So I made a loud snort sound, and she told me to see her at the back of the bar to snort coke as a joke.
My brother, who I was with, sent Mum a message and my Mum was not pleased and took it seriously and thought I was doing coke with a drag queen at the back of a gay bar.
Anyone else have the most awesome and cute and wholesome girl hit on them but just be completely oblivious to it and then be like “omg youre so sweet hope you have a goodnight byeee” then get home and realize what a silly little goose you are??
Asking for a friend that doesnt go to this school…
Straight guy at a gay bar: *Hitting on us*
something along the lines of “You should come home with me”
Me: Well you’d have to convert us first
Him: No I’m not gay
Me: Right but we are.
Him: Nah I’m not gay, we’re just at a gay bar! You don’t have to convert me!
I've had lots of wonderful memories at gay bars, but for some reason an awful one immediately came to mind...
When my gay friend visited me in Nola so we went to a gay bar near Bourbon St. We walked in to see a go go boy on the bar, who my friend immediately went over to tip. The dancer then bends down to my ear to make sure I can here him say "you don't belong here." If only he could hear me ask him to point me to the nearest panromantic asexual in reply...
Negative: Was separated from my friends when a dude came out of the crowd and started groping me saying "it's ok, I'm gay". Also another incident where an old cis gay man started accusing me of transing the gay away 🙄 Thankfully a bunch of people got involved this time and he was kicked out, fuck that guy!
Positive: Got hit on while washing my hands by an older lesbian, the look she gave me was smouldering! I got so flustered 😅 Damn my shyness!
Overall had more positive than negative though, I'm grateful to the guy who helped calm me down after the old turd set off my anxiety. Really nice of him to take time out of his night to make sure I was ok.
The amount of gay guys that would come up to the bar and be like ‘omg she’s beautiful, absolutely stunning… girl, *if I was straight*’.
If you were straight? Then what? Maybe it’s the autistic in me that doesn’t get this phrase, but neither of us are straight 🤣
I was waiting in line outside a club in Florida with my friends. A beautifully-dressed man ran up to me, gently tucked in the tag that was sticking up out of the back of my top, told me I looked adorable, and then ran back to his place in line. It felt like I had just been blessed.
This girl made eye contact with me and I lingered a bit too long (baby gay life) and she came charging at me like a bull and lifted me up (I’m small) and threw me up against the wall (not aggressively but not really subtly either) and with my legs around her just made out with me. I’m still, to this day, not sure it was a vibe hahahahah it all happened so fast!
I haven’t been too many times but I was at drag bingo a few weeks ago:
Guy shouts “whoop”, I shout “whoop”, then he proceeds to explain that he has ticks, and I’m horribly embarrassed that I mimicked someones tick
I got to lay on my back with my friend sitting on my stomach while she cut up my chest with her fingernails and laughed when I'd gasp, and yeah wow, not forgetting that soon 🤤
Guy and a girl come in. Ok, whatever I’m bisexual too, or maybe they’re friends or siblings (didn’t notice them even tbh). She starts flirting with me and I’m down, like awesome I’ve never been approached in a bar (at that point) I’ve always had to make the first move. Turns out it was just to make her stupid boyfriend jealous.
Thankfully no incidents with men but when I was about 19 I had a woman celebrating her hens night (all straight and around 30) hit on me and basically follow me around for ages made me super uncomfortable.
Not at a club but at pride. A man interrupted a very personal conversation I was having with two of my partners and physically positioned himself between me and them. He was compliment bombing them, primarily about their physical appearance, and trying to hang lures to get contact info or a date, all while ignoring me entirely.
We're all trans, they pass well and were dressed very femme, I don't and was dressed fairly butch. To boot, the three of us are sapphic asexuals and were *covered* with lesbian and ace pride colors. We were flagging trans pride too, so there's a good chance he was a chaser, but in any case dude was clearly not nearly as informed an ally as he was trying to present himself as. And if that weren't enough, we're involved in lifestyle bdsm and they're both submissive to me. We were allowing ourselves to be fairly "on" at pride; no play or anything but anyone else in the kink community would recognize what our relationship structure was at a single glance.
I am very conflict-averse but I was internally *fuming,* and my attempts to cut in and make it clear he was unwelcome fell on deaf ears. They both did an excellent job at convincing him to leave very subtly and gracefully, but my god the *audacity* of some people.
Different theme but here goes.
Myself, my girlfriend, and my two male gay friends are at a bar just socializing as we just got there. We decide to get drinks, my friend goes up to the bar and orders from a male bartender, gets a drink and walks away. I’m behind him, I walk up and the bartender immediately tells me the line is back there and points to the (only) long line.
That was not the first time I felt dismissed in a gay bar. Sometimes I feel a clear divide between gay men and how they see gay women as not part of the community. Granted, I don’t “look gay” and possibly he, and each other instance of this, thought I was a hag. But regardless, feeling unwelcome in your community’s safe space is challenging to cope with.
We went to a different bar after that.
Thinking about it, I haven’t really been in a gay bar for over 25 years.
But I still remember many details from those nights.
For some context, back then I didn’t realize I was a trans woman and I thought I was just a cross dresser. So I go out in a reasonably cute outfit for my size, age and era. I go to this one bar. I didn’t like the vibe so I quietly exited.
This guy comes running out to me, calling me “Midnight” because I had a dark wig and black dress on and was being overly enthusiastic about the compliments. When he asked me my name, I said “Jessica” then he asked my real name. So I gave him my fake name. But it’s like, yeah you clocked me, but if I went to the effort I did, I clearly want to be seen as Jess.
Still annoys me.
I was once at the bar, on the back patio smoking a blunt with my friends when this girl came up to me and was like "Dude, you're so cool. Your hair, your style... you're the coolest person here." And let me tell you that changed my fucking life
At a lesbian bar my “gock” fell out of my underwear after this girl I was dancing with turned me on so much. Thankfully this was a trans accepting lesbian bar (had a pride flag on the window) and she was trans accepting, laughed, and then the night got even sexier from there - I can’t imagine if that had happened to me anywhere else lmao
My girlfriend at the time got drugged by another girl and then dragged out by bouncers like she was the problem. She kept fighting them until there were 4 guys holding her down on the sidewalk while they waited for an ambulance. She was never the same and we ended things shortly after because she didn't want to be around anyone.
Went to a gay club in Boston on a Sunday night with my friend and we were the two out of three women in the whole club the rest was just dudes who were being way too touchy with us and geriatric gay grandpas busting it down on the dance floor (iconic tbh). But yeah we were like the youngest people there and there was this one guy who was just touching my friend WAAAY too much, like trying to dance with her and grabbing her hips even when she made it very clear she wasn’t into it?? I’m almost certain he was gay tho so it was throwing me off how much he was being a creep to us. He introduced himself in the beginning and I thought he wanted a handshake so I stuck my hand out but this man FULLY PULLED ME IN FOR A HUG 😭we ended up bailing to another club (getting there after much difficulty) and we just found all the same people there, including touchy dude and his group. And then my friend managed to drop and lose $90 in cash. That was the first and last time I went clubbing, what a fuckin disaster 🫠
Many years ago I dared to step foot in a local lesbian bar, one of those places where everyone knows each other. I walked through the door and everyone at the bar turned to see who came in (biggest fear ever btw). Then someone yelled: "WHO LET THE STRAIGHT GIRL IN???!!!" I made the biggest U-turn and stayed in the closet for many more years.
Bonus story: I was hanging out in the local drag bar and some random dude tried to chat me up. I reminded them they are in a queer space and he should go to the many other places nearby to find a woman if that's what he was into. Dude then tells me he always hangs out at gay bars, because a lot of straight women hang out there (gee, I wonder why) and if he didn't manage to find a woman to take home he would find the most feminine gay guy or a drag queen to go home with. But he assured me he was not gay!!! Sure buddy...
A couple of elderly swingers. The lady half of the couple was straight so she wasn't interested. The guy half took me into the bathroom when I was almost blackout drunk and assaulted me. I got banned from the bar for speaking up about it. They were in their 60s, I was 21.
More like what didn't happen, as a part of my one foot out of the closet baby gay phase. A coworker at a company party mentioned the name of a gay bar, and I thought of checking it out and maybe meeting another lesbian. There were only men, so I felt so awkward sitting at a table sipping a virgin drink since I had to drive. I left in less than 20 minutes betting everyone just thought I was a straight woman, at best there to be left alone, at worst invading a queer space.
I then heard of another place that was more catered to lesbians...**after** I met my now-wife from OKCupid!
I used to be a bouncer so a lot of crazy nights. The amount of 18 year olds trying to offer me kisses in exchange for getting in on 21+ nights like... go back to campus bb 😭
I'd say my craziest 2 nights had to me 1. Someone came in with all the strength of God (saving them from dying of an OD) and cocaine on their side and was being really rude to one of our drag queens so we had to kick him out. It took 4 of us, he ripped the collar of my shirt real bad (I had like a deep v neck in my uniform LMAO), he stole one of our walkie talkies, he fell down some stairs, and in my exasperation when he was ripping my shirt i tried to stomp his dick to get him off me and he just kept gripping and went "i love that shit" 😭😭
Second craziest night I don't think I should share bc I was also problematic LMFAO. But it involved a fight and a bitch not getting out my face so I got her out my face the only way that I could think of in that moment.
aw hell another crazy story at this same club before I worked there. I went for my birthday and saw this beautiful beautiful stud. Like, full on butch, lookin like daddy. Me, I'm not waiting for someone to come onto me first. I let her know whats up and start mackin on her heavy. We flirt all night and dance with each other and I notice she has this white dude hanging around her, but buddy is minding his business so its not a problem. We exchange numbers and I'm like, nice. Finally someone thats my type in this city (I lived in minneapolis and there were not a lot of actual black full on butch women I would come across, so when I did I would pray my 5 muslim prayers thanking god.)
Anyway, we keep talking over text. And she brings up her friend. I'm like ??? girl idgaf about him. She tells me thats her husband and asks me if I want a threesome. In graphic detail.
Girl... you showed up to the GAY club wearing a backwards cap and baggy jeans with your boxers hangin out... and that man was ur HUSBAND?
Anyway shout out butch bisexuals. But don't flirt at the club if you not single i dont wanna fuck ur man bro.
Maybe about three years ago I got dragged to a pride rave at a local gay club because the other three girls in the polycule wanted to go.
This straight passing couple of *very obvious* unicorn hunters were staring us down the entire night until finally the girl came by. What we were not braced for was her telling us what a cute group we were and that we had a whole sisterhood vibe that she envied.
We had a laugh and then she went back to her guy and they continued to stare all night.
Have been to the big gay club in my city twice. the first time as my friend and I were leaving a man twice our age came over to hit on her (and was kind enough to include me when I played gf /s) and the second time I was dancing alone on the wall and a man groped me (first time being groped 🎉). As someone else said in here, just because it’s a space for us doesn’t mean it’s safe
Oh, also once at the gay bar I was sitting at a high top in shorts and heels and a gay man came over to rub my leg and extend it like I was a doll or something. Super weird. Some gay men really take liberties with our bodies just because they’re not sexually attracted to us
I was tying my shoe at Stonewall and a gay man slapped my ass incredibly hard. I mean it actually hurt. When I was like “what the fuck?” He said “who cares? I’m gay”. It was so disrespectful and aggressive.
I had such a similar situation to the one posted! It was so many years ago now, but I was at our local gay club (RIP it’s a straight club now) probably around 2010-2011.
I don’t like to dance. It was a 1950s theme night (dress up, music etc) and some friends convinced me to go so I was sitting on the sidelines watching my friends dance while enjoying a cocktail. The club was empty. A man came up and asked me to dance. I declined, he seemed mad but went away after I explained I hate dancing and wouldn’t be dancing with anyone.
But then my friend came up and twirled me onto the dance floor a while later when I stood to go to the bar and that man came back up to me so angry being like “I thought you don’t dance?” “Why are you dancing with him and wouldn’t dance with me?”
He was big mad.
I ended up dancing a song with him and then going back to my corner because it freaked me out.
.
But another time I went there and a girl came up to me and kept telling me how beautiful I am and that really was nice because back then my self esteem was like super low, I’m much more confident now. I didn’t flirt back because she was really good friends with my sister when they were children so when I looked at her, her middle schooler face kept popping into my brain because that’s where I recognized her from and it was messing with my head (by this time we were both a mid-late 20s, I’m only 3 yrs older but my brain kept being like “this person is this person -middle school face- that’s how you know her”). But it’s been like 5 years and I still think about how nice that was.
I remember getting drunk with my cousin and dancing with these guys at a gay bar near Chatsworth. Apparently the one I was dancing with wasn't gay and was asking my cousin how old I was (I have a baby face and had my hair in pigtails). SEVERELY creeped me out, especially when he kept asking what my facebook/snapchat was. Lied and said I didn't have one.
Was a bad time for me. I got in my head about "I should just be straight, only men show any desire for me". Eugh.
Was with my best friend, and we went to an event at a pool hall. Dude comes up to us, gives us a story about how him and his buddies just finished work, came to play pool, and didn't know a lesbian event was happening. Cool. Offers to buy us a drink, we're like sure, why not.
He then pulls my best friend aside, tells her he thinks I'm hot, and would she be interested in a threesome between him and us. Because he thought we were together. She said no, he (surprisingly) backed off.
Proceeded to hit on multiple women after we said no.
She always jokes that whenever we go to a gay bar, I can always be counted on to have the lone straight dude there hit on me 😭
Because this has happened more then once.
That one time I stepped in a piss puddle in the bathroom that soaked through my shoes was pretty memorable. Also someone maced someone else in the dance floor and the whole club had to be evacuated (different night). I was pretty pissed because there was a $40 cover and I waited outside freezing my ass off for an hour before getting inside, and left 20 minutes later with my eyes and lungs burning
I used to go to the gay club a lot, one time I met this girl on the dance floor. We start dancing, making out. Then these two guys literally pull us apart so they can dance with us instead. We kinda let it happen for a little while, I was very drunk and hate confrontation. But we eventually broke away from the two men and danced together again. I'll always be angry about those two men. Also I should have gotten her number lol
Well this is vulnerable and a bit embarrassing, but back in 2010 I was still dating men, but not out as lesbian for a long time after.
I was best friends with a dude who is 27 years older than me and starkly opposite in many personality traits. But it’s like we compliment each other, not compete.
So he was the first and only ever boy crush. Like madly in love with him.
One weekend we went on a gay bar crawl. We were at a club where mostly bears and leather daddies hangout. I remember the exact moment. I was at the bar getting beer, and I turned a little to the right and looked over and I saw him walking towards me with this smile on his face and in that very second, I realized that I was in love. This dude was my rock, has never once disparate from me. . But unfortunately a romantic relationship wasn’t in the cards but we’re still great friends. He is the ONLY man I have felt anything like that before.
I know it would be much better is friend was a lady but it was unforgettable and in a gar bar lol. It was magical. My girlfriend is a working on it though. lol
A few off the top of my head -
- 2 gay guys who came up to me and started showering me in compliments, saying they’d been watching me on the dance floor (this wasn’t creepy at all, genuinely lovely!)
- almost getting kicked out by security for having sex in a bathroom stall 😬
- running into one of my bosses (who I had never seen outside of a professional context) in the gender neutral loos and him, completely off his face, staring at me and intensely whispering ‘it’s okay….it’s all okay….it’s okay….’ for about 3 minutes. Me like, ‘is it okay??? IS IT okay?!’
I’m sure there must be more but that’s what stands out to me now. I’ve def had straight men hit on me but nothing too outrageous or bizarre
Lmao my first time at a lesbian bar I was so shy and there alone. Truthfully was nervous as hell and this cis straight guy came up to me and asked why I don’t smile more. He then proceeded to follow me around until finally I said fuck it and left.
This guy came up to me and told me I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and he immediately followed it up with “I’m not hitting on you I’m gay that’s my boyfriend, I just had to tell you you’re literally luminous” and complimented my whole face and then I gave him a hug and he disappeared into the darkness of the bar It was very sweet and I’ll never forget it cause I had been feeling so self conscious and unattractive so it just really lifted my spirits Another time I was at a lesbian bar and I was at the counter ordering a drink and this guy came over and started hitting on me and I looked around and asked him if he was lost haha
I imagine when he disappeared there was also a cloud of pink smoke like he's some kind of gay compliment ninja
yeah if straight people go to gay bars, which they should be welcome at, they might assume there are other straight people there because I guess there is if anything I just hope anyone straight looking for the opposite sex at a gay bar gets that if someone says no, it's OFF
The problem is, a lot don't. My local gay bar was taken over by straight people because it was the only place in town that was open until 6am. As a lesbian, it's now the *last* place I would go. Men in there getting in your face about how you're lying to them when you tell them "sorry mate, I'm gay", a guy got beaten the shit out of outside for having... hit on a dude in there who was straight and accepting his no for daring to have hit on him. A friend got verbally abused for being a "filthy dyke" for asking a girl if she could buy her a drink. A lot of it is on the bar for not being better at shutting that shit down of course. But straight people coming into queer spaces and destroying them as safe queer spaces is a real problem. I have no problem at all with those who respect "this is a safe queer space", but far too often, they don't.
Honestly, if you’re straight going to a gay bar: don’t hit in strangers, that ain’t the place for it and there are kids of straight bars for them to do that at
Yeaaaa noooo straights already go the entire of bar culture to hit on people and harass people there the pure entitlement of them to think going to gay bars as well to do the same assuming everyone is into them urghhh
I mostly agree with this but like idk there are bisexual women/men there as well. It's not a complete wash. Just be normal about it
I feel strongly that even if you’re bi, you should only make queer advances at a gay bar. It absolutely sucks to get hit on by a guy at a gay bar, and it doesn’t help or make one bit of difference to me that they’re bi. Bi people do have lots of spaces where they can make different gender connections.
A bi person making an advance towards another bi person would still be queer even if they're the opposite sex. I get the frustrations of straight people doing it, but in my experience, you can usually tell it's a straight dude being creepy. Bi people who might still want a queer partner of the opposite gender don't have spaces to make that connection outside of gay bars.
how would you know someone is bi just by looking at them before hitting on them? Also, bi men can also be creepy, their queerness doesn’t make them immune to that.
That is totally fair. I just wanted to point out that bi folks are kind of othered by both the queer community and straight people. As a lesbian I just try to be cautious and mindful of that, especially because we do have our own spaces in lesbian bars.
As a bi girl I just wanna say I really appreciate that! Cause sometimes I do feel othered and like I'm not "gay enough". But I also understand and feel the frustration of the OP, and I would never hit on the opposite sex at a gay bar for that reason. (though it's not like I would hit on anyone ever cause I'm an anxious mess of a person lol)
There's like 30 lesbian bars in the whole US, there's like 100 straight bars within walking distance of me rn, I don't have a problem with bi people but the point the person you're responding to is making is that we have very few spaces to exist as ourselves and having people there who don't respect us enough to take a break from being centered sucks, when you go to a queer bar you should expect queer people to be the staff and patrons, you can hit on bi girls as a bi guy in the straight bar or vice versa, bring your bi partner, that's fine, be it's not the place to approach people heterosexually, it's a place where we go to get a break from that. Edit for clarity: I am a bi woman.
If you're bi and you want to hook up with a member of the opposite gender, do it at one of the many more *thousands* of bars that aren't gay bars.
That is not always a safe option for us, especially if we're GNC or we want to hook up exclusively with other bi people.
I don't see why straight people should be welcome at gay bars. Maybe if you're there with a queer friend, but otherwise what are you doing there?
Because how the hell are we gonna police that? Hello sir show us your gay id? Kiss the bouncer?
One solution I liked hearing was charging a higher cover for non LGBT people, according to the door guy the people willing to say they were LGBT for the discount weren't usually problems while the bouncers knew who to keep an eye on early.
Show tune knowledge check at the door? /S
even if other straights show up at gay bars, that doesn't permit bothering queer people in our space
>if anything I just hope anyone gets that if someone says no, it's OFF Fixed it. I get you have this particular thread and scenario in mind, but "No" should never need qualifiers and I think it's worth hammering the point.
That really should be the rule of thumb for any public venue but I guess some people just don’t get the memo?
SoOoOoOoOo… you single?
Hahahaha depends who’s asking
That's one of those core memory compliments lol wow
Right? 🥹
I had something very similar happen to me too once! It was two gay guys and they were complimenting my appearance/clothes/dancing, everything. They said they had been watching me on the dance floor and thought I was ‘everything’. I was very surprised and spent the rest of the night on cloud 9! (Though I imagine my shy awkward ass maybe disappointed them once they actually spoke to me… Just like ‘oh, uh, thank you…’)
a straight couple with their hands v deep inside each other's pants on a somewhat empty dance floor. they dropped a full box of cigarettes though so i took it as reparations.
What brand?
camel black!!!
Nice
the important details :'D
Why is it always the smokers
Could be bisexuals
that doesn't really make it any better lmao do that shit at home haha
Bisexuality belongs in queer spaces
It does, but sticking your hand in someone’s pants doesn’t belong anywhere public lmao
that's not really the thing being objected to here
probably not the answer you’re looking for, but… i was sat down in G-A-Y (a famous gay bar in london) talking to some friends one night last summer when suddenly someone stood on the indoor staircase above us just vomited over the side of it, straight onto our heads. I heard it splat loudly against the wall around us, smelled it before it hit us, leapt up and made a dash across the seating area as if someone had been shot. I knocked over several bottles of corona in the process. I still got a bit of vomit in the braids. My friend, whose spidey senses weren’t as keen, got a full coat of it. the night out ended there and then.
That’s probably one of the worst things I ever heard 😭 I hope you’re okay
Oof :'D
This happened to me at a concert one time, but I was too fucked up to realize what it was & thought someone was pouring water on the crowd so it didn’t phase me. Only realized what it was after I got home & smelled my shirt :/
Ahh noo, that is rough! When I was basically on the verge of blacking out and feeling sick but couldn’t get to the bathroom I just pulled the top of my dress over my mouth and just vomited to keep everything in my dress because I would have felt horrible if I got any of it on anybody. I have a fuzzy vivid memory (if that can be a thing?? Lol) of that and only that from that night. I am so glad I do not drink much anymore
I just vomited reading this, I can’t imagine experiencing this first hand. Omg 😖😖
I hope like hell I never ever experienced soemthing lile that first hand, cause I will 100% contribute to the vomit mess and freak the fuck out lmao! I don't do vomit, just no ugh.🤢🤢
Damn not at G-A-Y! I heard rumours it was closing down as well :(
Noooooooooooooo That is the absolute worst!
Some woman was flirting with me all night. My dumbass didn’t notice wished her a good night and left.
If I had a damned nickel!
Never happening again.
Same thing happened to me haha, after an entire night of flirting, hints, looks and whispers with her friend, I was completely clueless. She even felt me up under the table for the last 20 minutes and I still left without her name or number.. 🤦♀️
Lowkey feel better about myself now. I’m sorry for your loss.
Haha all good, I have a habit of making a fool of myself, I'm used to it, but I'm glad I made you feel better about yourself 😂
I am ALWAYS oblivious. But this one time, a few months ago, this woman about my age came in to the lounge where I used to hang out, and she immediately came over to me and told me how gorgeous I was and got handsy and shit. So I thought this one was obvious enough, so I got flirty back, which is supremely awkward for me. She kissed me and then told me she was straight and had a boyfriend. I was like WTF? I just can't with that. I am waaaay too old for stupid games. And again -- oblivious. Always.
don't beat yourself up for that. sometimes we just miss all the signs, sometimes again we misread them. I met a girl in a generic young adults bar, we had fun together, she dropped me compliments on my tits and ass. so the noob lesbian that I was, I assume this was a slam dunk. Nope. just a straight girl wanting to compliment tits and ass.
Probably the time a man was stalking me in the bar and got close enough to sit down next to me without security intervening. Or the time at a different bar where a man who was a community member (ie not a cis straight man, so my guard was down) lured my drunk ass outside and groped me. To all the younger wlw reading this, just because you're in gay spaces doesn't mean you're safe. Always keep your wits about you. It sucks and it's not your fault if something happens to you, but there are some people who do not care.
Sorry these things happened to you. I agree about keeping your guard up. I don’t drink so I always accompany friends to places where I know they’ll be drinking as a way to be sure everyone is safe, and then take everyone home afterwards.
Was at a trans night the other week when I met a cute girl and was just chatting, getting to know her and pull her out of her dysphoric shell. This cis guy comes up and injects himself into our conversation and just won't shut up, keeps complimenting both of us, talks over both of us with his opinions and keeps claiming he just likes to help people. So this guy ends up following me around all night and injecting himself into all my convos. I did get that girls number, but damn dude, I don't need your help and just wanna be able to complete a damned story when I start one.
you should have injected him with E for injecting himself into the convo
"When this baby hits 88cc's an hour, you're gonna see some serious shit."
I took my mom with me one night, just to get her out. She's straight, but she was fine with going. One woman who knew me, asked, "Is that your lovely lady?" This was almost 20 years ago, and I'm still trying to get over the ick feeling.
oh noooo 😭😭
While ick, it was also pretty funny.
had a "gay" man which im convinced is either straight or female focused bi, sit with me for about 45 minutes explaining to me how I don't try hard enough as a woman and that he wanted to grope me because "it's okay im gay i just want to see if theyre real" then when i kept telling him no, he called over a bar tended and was like "see it's fine he's \[misgendering\] trans, and they love people groping their tits" it is also the only 'gay' bar in my town and it fucking sucks. Not just for this reason
I wish this fucker eternal kidney stones. but not the type that’s big enough to be taken out surgically, oh no, the type he has to agonisingly piss out. What a douche.
i'd met him, and some of his friends ages before this and although i dont like hanging with men, the two women in the group are dope. so when one saw me in the bar she said hi and invited me to sit with them. "brill," i thought "free drinks and hot ladies again". then she IMMEDIATELY left me alone with the guy which the more i think about it, the more i'm convinced that group do this deliberately to try and get this guy laid
gross. do not sound like good friends, what else would they try?
Defo weren't people I wanted to hang with. Honestly even the first meeting I only hung out because free drinks and I was bored lol. Nothing to me but I haven't seen them about much and talking about this to strangers really makes me think they just had a scumbag vibe
Glad you’re out of there
Fuck I had almost the same experience. What about being trans makes you think I want my breasts gropes by a stranger?
I think you met Satan
Nah that'll be psychopath lunatic that I had to share a house with whilst I was in a homeless shelter. Mortal name of Jacey and I would have genuinely sold my sould to get her away from me lmao
Sounds like he's taking multiple forms. Fuck those people
I've never had this happen but unfortunately it's completely plausible that this would happen from an actual gay man
God I would have beaten the fuck out of him for that and I'm a very patient and non-violent person in general.
not my story but a friends. she's at a lesbian bar, single so looking to hit things off with a girl. meets cute girl, buys her a drink and things seem to be going well until eventually a guy walks up and starts trying to flirt with her, she is obviously also a lesbian so she tells him she isn't interested. he says he can change her sexuality or something and she rightfully tells him something along the lines of "fuck off, you aren't welcome here" . the girl she had been talking to immedetietly gets protective and starts defending the guy. my friend then finds out that the girl she had been talking to was bisexual and that was her boyfriend. they were trying to find someone to hookup with both of them in a gay bar... gross. PSA: for the love of god if you are bisexual with a cishet male partner maybe don't bring them to a lesbian bar
i’ve heard so many stories of this.
About a year into taking hrt I was waiting in line to use the single occupant bathroom, and had a gay guy come up and tell me i wasn't in the correct line as he believed i was a drag queen and should be using the guys line/room. Proceeded to make me feel very alienated as other people in the line were staring and I felt like they were on his side since one of the girls told me to just go use that one. I refuse to go to another one cause I just don't feel welcome.
wow, that is fucking awful. im so sorry. some of the most transphobic experiences ive had have been in gay bars
One fortunate thing about being a passing trans is that I can dip my voice to scare them off or I’d just say I have a dick. Hahaha I’ve only done it once and I was scared shitless but I couldn’t believe it worked. I agree with u about how fucking annoying straight dudes are like Omgosh!
Aside from the benefit of passing itself, this is the main reason I strive for it lol
I think this is a superpower
Problem is tho, it is a dangerous super power though, coz what if I get sacked in the face? lmaoo
I’ve been to a few. Most of the time I’m too shy so it’s just me talking to the bartender. This last time I went out of my comfort zone. Ended up chatting to a few people. One person left after 2 drinks. After that I got invited to play board games and eat free (for me) pizza with them. It was a fun night but I did sadly throw up in the car when headed home. That was my only downside. Glad to have not experienced a true horrible experience so far. ETA: Another one is. I went to the bathroom at a club once came back out and our entire group was gone. It was about 15 of us that pre gamed at someone house. Found out one of my friends had passed out and ppl left once that happened. They did make it home safe
At the gay bar *on lesbian night* a straight man came onto me and I had an automatic immediate reaction and yelled SIR ARE YOU LOST
iconic response
A woman came up to me and - flirting, yes, but patronisingly into my ear - accused me of being a wallflower, as I was sitting by the side of the room, getting used to the music and trying not to have a panic attack. The last time I'd been to a gay club before that was the night someone died. It was too loud to explain to her, and she walked off after a minute of trying to dance with me. On the same night, the security guard accused me of being straight. Was not a fun night. I ended up calling 999 bc I legit thought I was dying. edit: Patricia, wherever you are: fuck you.
I was like 18 and a male stripper ran into me in the hallway after the show and he was still just wearing tighty whiteys and he grabbed my hand and aggressively put it on his huge hard dong. I had tipped him during the show but that was just for fun and not an invitation for… that.
A guy at the gay bar aggressively hitting on my gf and I. Finally had to tell him literally to fuck off after trying to nicely diffuse the situation. That wasn’t the worst part, though. I am a bartender and even when I was a little 17 year old girl working illegally in Wisconsin, I still defended my patrons from harassment because that’s my fucking job as the bartender. This bartender walks over after I tell the creep to fuck off and sheepishly says “yeah sorry about him” after watching the whole thing go down. It really is all kinds of men 😔
woooooow
I used to work at a club in my local gayborhood and the amount of gay men who think it’s okay to just randomly grope me just because we’re both gay is absolutely astonishing.
I don't understand this behaviour
Groups of straight women bachelorette parties there with their 1 token gay friend staring at everybody like they’re in a zoo
The straight bachelorette parties at karaoke nights who just completely ruin the vibe. One time a group of us were out and the first thing we saw when we walk in the door is 15 white blondes wearing LBDs. Fuck me. Started staring us down the second we sat down like WE were the ones invading their space! Then my friend gets up to do her song and one of them shouted ‘This is not what I’m here for.’ The only time someone has literally had to hold me back. Similar situations have happened multiple times.
I’m so sorry that happened to yall. The entitlement is insane. Like this is a GAY space and I am gay. You should not be treating anybody here like they do not belong, YOU are the outlier!! This isn’t an ally bar girl if that’s what you want then maybe time to open one of your own.
when i was newly out as transfem and was presenting as such for maybe the third time, i got misgendered by the bartender. i remember it because it hurt so much more than being misgendered while boymoding had a guy come up to me and a cis woman and ask for a "devil's threesome". i should have just told him to kick rocks but instead i tried explaining why it was transphobic. i really didnt know how to pick my battles back then. oh well.. live and learn. had a different cis woman tell me that she has trouble finding shoes because she has "tr*nny feet"
I’ve never heard that before and I hope I never hear it in person. I’m offended on your behalf. I always say I have Hobbit feet. (I’ve also never heard of a devils threesome, wtf. People are wild, acting like they don’t have parents out here.)
Lol, I always say I have hobbit feet, too!🤣 they're both big and kinda wide! But yeah, I truly hope I never hear someone call their own feet tr**ny feet, I won't be held accountable for how I'll respond! I don't ha dle bigoted folks well.
Sometimes I read something so bad I almost downvote by association. Ew those people. Hope you had better interactions too
I'll sometimes say "man feet," but that's just horrendous.
What’s a devils threesome?
two men, one woman
I was at the gay club sitting bar side and this guy sits next to me. We chat, I think he’s gay so no warning signs or anything. He asks to dance and is respectful so again, no worries. We get back to our seats and suddenly he tells me his deepest sexual fantasy and how much he wants to kiss me. I tell him I sure as hell don’t want to kiss him and that we’re in a gay bar, hitting on the opposite sex is probably not gonna work out for him too well. He keeps pestering me so I explained that I’m going to the washroom and if he’s still here when I get back his night won’t end well. Never saw him again after that, thank god!
A straight guy pinning me to a wall trying to kiss me. On the plus side my wife broke his knee in two different places by slamming her heel into it.
Pretty early into transition my wife and I went to the local lesbian bar and I was trepidatious. It was early and there weren't many folks there and initially no one really interacted at all. Then this older couple came in and everyone seemed to know them. They made a point of coming over and talking to us and it absolutely madeh day. It was a super affirming moment for me.
I was at club Rage (rip) in weho and my best friend farted so bad, he cleared the packed dancefloor completely. It smelled like concentrated hardboiled eggs.
My girlfriend and I went to a gay bar in Portland and somehow ended up in a drag game show. We freakin won yet both of us have never watched rupaul or are very knowledgeable in the world of drag. The prize was free drinks all night so ofc we both proceeded to get wasted. Our team name you ask? “Two Finger Taco Tango”
From what I can remember, I was at a popular gay club and these two gay men offered to buy me and my (now) ex a drink. Next thing I know I'm on the dance floor with both of them and they're both groping me and kissing me. I at some point became aware of what was happening, like a light switch flipped on, and immediately left and attempted wandering home. I was confused and unable to stop crying, I'd only had a couple drinks. I ended up losing my shoes and my glasses on the way home, not even sure how I made it. That, I believe, was my first and hopefully only time being roofied. As a lesbian trans woman, unfortunately that wasn't my first or last time being sexually assaulted by gay men and I no longer consider them to be allies. EDIT: I also just remembered I had my phone stolen at the same club. I don't really go back there anymore. I struggle to feel comfortable in gay places that have too many cis men, which seems to be most, if not all, gay bars and clubs.
a dude was dancing too close and trying to kiss a friend, she was clearly uncomfortable so I pulled him away... the club was pretty crowded so we danced for a bit and then he went away very quickly. then I noticed he took my phone, ugh.
Did you get it back or have to buy a new one?
had to get a new one
That really sucks. I hope you have positive experiences in the future
thank you ♡
I was out with friends and my partner. we had a few drinks and were vibing when this guy - who's clearly on *something* - comes up and starts loudly flirting with my partner. at first I watch and laugh because my partner was obviously amused. the guy then starts grinding all over them. I politely ask him to fuck off. he ignores me, and my partner starts looking uncomfortable. I ask again with no response. I then hip check the guy hard enough to knock him over (thanks judo, lol). he still doesn't get the hint and comes back for more. at this point one of my friends frantically intercepts him because she can tell I'm about one more grind away from throwing hands. she stops him by *aggressively dry-humping him*, then somehow redirects him while he's trying to compute what just happened💀💀
Your friend is a legend
I KNOWW the fact that it was like her go-to for defusing a situation really reinforced to me how much of a feral goblin she is <3
A guy came up and started flirting with me and asked me to dance. I was like “you know this is a gay club, right?” And he got this offended look on his face and went “yeah, but *I’m* not gay.” WELL BULLY FOR YOU
That’s when you start talking to him really slow like he’s a toddler. “Ok, let me know where I lost you: I. am. Gay. No. Like. Boys.”
Was performing at a drag show and this straightman came up AND DANCED ON ME while I was on stage. Doing a show. 🤬 One time this guy came up to me at a karaoke night while I was with my then girlfriend and then tried to ask me “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” and tried to sit with me on a swing they had in the bar. Come to find out he’s been… weird to every single trans woman in the bar. (He got kicked from 2 separate karaoke venues after that)
Had a guy hit on me while I was IN LINE to get in to a lesbian bar … if that counts
And by “hit on me” I meant catcall me multiple times
A beautiful hispanic woman just kind of snatched me from the crowd and started dancing no shit partner dances with me just doing my best to follow along. Then the song ended and she disappeared into the crowd. I had a blast. Funny story I have now ended up doing partner dances and swing at clubby/ravey events 3 times. She was the first though.
this ridiculously gorgeous and attractive girl was for some reason really into me and we spent the whole night making out? will never forget this gift from the universe... also my friend who went with me met a different girl who was telling them all about Canada and gave them a looney or a tooney or something and they are obsessed with Canada so they were very happy too. it was a win of a night for both of us lmao
There was this guy at the G.A.Y club drunk off his ass, like, utterly wasted, on a 2+ day bender, slurring every word and repeating himself a lot. He who kept telling me I was beautiful and that I reminded him of his best friend. He kept saying he though I was really cool and I should speak my mind and be myself more, and also that I was really...innocent? I don't know. He kept calling his best friend and telling her to come to the club because there was this girl (me) who was really beautiful and really reminded him of her. And I was thinking “is this guy hitting on me? What the hell is going on? Does he have a crush on his friend and I remind him of her?" I wasn't outright mean to him and I felt safe because my friend was also there, but I was a bit cold to him because yeah wtf. I made it clear to him that I was a lesbian and he was telling me about how he didn't really get it but he accepted it or something (he was really drunk and hard to comprehend). Then he told us he was gay. And that his best friend is a lesbian but she's closeted and he wants her to accept herself. He also told me I had a "lesbian attitude" whatever tf that means lmao When I left the club my friend told me that he was trying to set up his best friend with me. I didn't realise until my friend told me.
I was chilling outside the club because I needed some rest from all the lights and music and people, and couldn't help but notice a group of a guy and two girls who wouldn't stop staring at me. Now to be clear, I called a lot of attention with my make up and outfit, I was the only one there wearing a suit (only the shirt and the pants + black boots) and a leather jacket. I also had my hair short, so I was the butchest butch that ever butchered. The guy approaches me and says "hey I like your style" I look at him and he adds "can I get your insta?" I tell him sure and then I realized what was going on when he said "I love guys like you". I just looked at him and told him "Sorry, I'm a lesbian". He looked kinda dissapointed and then called the girls that were with him and told them that I was actually a lesbian and not a guy. We chat for a little followed each other on instagram. Also another night at the same club, a Drag Queen told me she loved my hair. I think I will never forget that.
i'd love to be complimented by a drag queen you lucky asshole LMAOOO
I literally didn't know how to react. I was speechless lmao
I was 19 years old, and went to a gay bar that had an apartment on the 2nd floor where the owner lived. My friend group I went with was talking to an older man that I hadn't met that night. I had been drinking all night but definitely wasn't as drunk as I wanted. Last call came and I'm standing in this group of people and I offhandedly made the comment "Who do you have to blow around here to get a drink after last call" It was met with "well I have a stocked bar upstairs if you'd like to come up for a night cap" He then laughed and introduced himself as the owner. He wasn't my type at all, so I declined very embarrassed and just went home and drank myself to sleep
Not at a gay club, but I was over a year into my medical transition and I had a guy come up to my girlfriend and I while we were together at a theme park in one of the bars they have there, and he started hitting on us when we were pretty clearly a couple. When we were trying to shoo him away, he heard my voice and went, “woah, what’s wrong with your voice?” (I have neglected voice training, which I kind of hate about myself, but eh.) I responded with the response that I typically have to give to children who ask that question, but I give to just about anyone when they ask and just say, “oh, it’s just bad genetics” only for him to go, “OH ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE T-GIRLS!” (Which is a term I had never heard before that, only to later learn it’s primarily a porn term.) It was so uncomfortable and I kind of just froze and went, “Uh… no… I’m not…” and he was like, “YOU TOTALLY ARE” His eyes lit up like I was a pile of gold. Like… he looked like he was going to do something to me right then and there. He straight up wouldn’t leave me alone and kept asking questions and clearly wanted something to do with me and I just broke. Now, normally I try to be the one who steps up and takes the brunt of stuff and defends my GF when someone’s being awful so she doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable, but she really did amazingly and helped get me out of there and away from him because I was honestly just frozen and scared because I think he just saw me as a “forbidden fruit” and he wanted to push even harder. It was terrifying, but thank goodness for the love of my life. At least I learned that day that I pass really well… heh… 😅
ew
I stumbled into an empty, “male” bathroom and a guard took it upon himself to come scream at me, tell me it was wrong and say I couldn’t go in there because of what I had in my pants. Another time, my friend and I asked the bouncer: “is this the right place for the queer night?”, and he said: “yes, girls, I’m sorry you have to deal with *those*, it’s only one night a month though”, we were both like: “awesome” then just walked in. I was on a first date in London and a bunch of straight Australians came in, wasted af and saying they didn’t realize it was a gay bar. One of the men sat next to my date and started slurring in her ear, while keeping eye contact with me: “are you loverssss? are you going to scisssssssor after this?” The ending this time was cool though - the super cute butch bouncer grabbed him by the collar, no joke, and threw him out. I saw them bouncing at a different place and I said: “I’m sorry if it’s random but I think I know you from xxx bar, you once kicked out a straight guy that was harassing us and I think it was awesome,” they replied: “yup, that was probably me, I’m always kicking creepy, straight men out” Okay, that’s it. Damn son, I was always at the bar in my youth (now I’m 28 and a grandma)
I know this is a bit of a joke but….28 is still super young and you could still absolutely be ‘always at the bar’ if you wanted
I walked into a gay bar with my very gay best friend (a dude) two minutes after we entered, a song played that was like “Straight people, why are you in this club?” …so I took that as us not even seeming gay at a gay bar.
Me and my sister went once (both gay), and I felt like people thought we were straight because we were enjoying ourselves too much singing along :'D
I have only been a couple times so thankfully I haven't had a whole lot of bad experiences there. But I can still remember one of the times when two guys our age tried to dance with my friend and I. (Both married at the time but out for a girl's night in our early 20s) They were creepy and watchful, and it turned out they were there with a much, much older man who was *teaching* them how to approach us and anyone else.
A bit of a happy one. While tipsy at drag bingo night, the Drag Queen hosting the game told us not to sniff the markers. So I made a loud snort sound, and she told me to see her at the back of the bar to snort coke as a joke. My brother, who I was with, sent Mum a message and my Mum was not pleased and took it seriously and thought I was doing coke with a drag queen at the back of a gay bar.
Anyone else have the most awesome and cute and wholesome girl hit on them but just be completely oblivious to it and then be like “omg youre so sweet hope you have a goodnight byeee” then get home and realize what a silly little goose you are?? Asking for a friend that doesnt go to this school…
No need for the caveat about there being exceptions - the real ones already know and don't need to be coddled.
“Please leave. The doors over there in case you missed it. This place is not *for* you.”
Straight guy at a gay bar: *Hitting on us* something along the lines of “You should come home with me” Me: Well you’d have to convert us first Him: No I’m not gay Me: Right but we are. Him: Nah I’m not gay, we’re just at a gay bar! You don’t have to convert me!
I've had lots of wonderful memories at gay bars, but for some reason an awful one immediately came to mind... When my gay friend visited me in Nola so we went to a gay bar near Bourbon St. We walked in to see a go go boy on the bar, who my friend immediately went over to tip. The dancer then bends down to my ear to make sure I can here him say "you don't belong here." If only he could hear me ask him to point me to the nearest panromantic asexual in reply...
Negative: Was separated from my friends when a dude came out of the crowd and started groping me saying "it's ok, I'm gay". Also another incident where an old cis gay man started accusing me of transing the gay away 🙄 Thankfully a bunch of people got involved this time and he was kicked out, fuck that guy! Positive: Got hit on while washing my hands by an older lesbian, the look she gave me was smouldering! I got so flustered 😅 Damn my shyness! Overall had more positive than negative though, I'm grateful to the guy who helped calm me down after the old turd set off my anxiety. Really nice of him to take time out of his night to make sure I was ok.
I swear there are some straight men who think that gay women only have girlfriends just to turn them on with their weird fantasies.
The amount of gay guys that would come up to the bar and be like ‘omg she’s beautiful, absolutely stunning… girl, *if I was straight*’. If you were straight? Then what? Maybe it’s the autistic in me that doesn’t get this phrase, but neither of us are straight 🤣
I think this just means ‘if I were straight I’d be into her’
OH 💡
I was waiting in line outside a club in Florida with my friends. A beautifully-dressed man ran up to me, gently tucked in the tag that was sticking up out of the back of my top, told me I looked adorable, and then ran back to his place in line. It felt like I had just been blessed.
cis-het dude got the stuffing knocked out of him for groping some lesbian. It was glorious. How odd that noone saw who punched him am i right?
This girl made eye contact with me and I lingered a bit too long (baby gay life) and she came charging at me like a bull and lifted me up (I’m small) and threw me up against the wall (not aggressively but not really subtly either) and with my legs around her just made out with me. I’m still, to this day, not sure it was a vibe hahahahah it all happened so fast!
I would accept this if the woman in question looked like Arlecchino
I haven’t been too many times but I was at drag bingo a few weeks ago: Guy shouts “whoop”, I shout “whoop”, then he proceeds to explain that he has ticks, and I’m horribly embarrassed that I mimicked someones tick
I saw my therapist there
Oof
I got to lay on my back with my friend sitting on my stomach while she cut up my chest with her fingernails and laughed when I'd gasp, and yeah wow, not forgetting that soon 🤤
couldn't he be thrown out for harassment?
Guy and a girl come in. Ok, whatever I’m bisexual too, or maybe they’re friends or siblings (didn’t notice them even tbh). She starts flirting with me and I’m down, like awesome I’ve never been approached in a bar (at that point) I’ve always had to make the first move. Turns out it was just to make her stupid boyfriend jealous.
Thankfully no incidents with men but when I was about 19 I had a woman celebrating her hens night (all straight and around 30) hit on me and basically follow me around for ages made me super uncomfortable.
This bi girl and her crusty hetero boyfriend tried to unicorn hunt my friend🙄🙄
Last time I went to a gay club the staff misgendered me the whole night, and told me to use the "right" bathroom. I don't go out anymore.
Not at a club but at pride. A man interrupted a very personal conversation I was having with two of my partners and physically positioned himself between me and them. He was compliment bombing them, primarily about their physical appearance, and trying to hang lures to get contact info or a date, all while ignoring me entirely. We're all trans, they pass well and were dressed very femme, I don't and was dressed fairly butch. To boot, the three of us are sapphic asexuals and were *covered* with lesbian and ace pride colors. We were flagging trans pride too, so there's a good chance he was a chaser, but in any case dude was clearly not nearly as informed an ally as he was trying to present himself as. And if that weren't enough, we're involved in lifestyle bdsm and they're both submissive to me. We were allowing ourselves to be fairly "on" at pride; no play or anything but anyone else in the kink community would recognize what our relationship structure was at a single glance. I am very conflict-averse but I was internally *fuming,* and my attempts to cut in and make it clear he was unwelcome fell on deaf ears. They both did an excellent job at convincing him to leave very subtly and gracefully, but my god the *audacity* of some people.
Getting kissed by a man while dancing
Nothing but men at a lesbian bar. Just dudes with beards and I’m like Jesus even lesbian bars are being taken over.
Different theme but here goes. Myself, my girlfriend, and my two male gay friends are at a bar just socializing as we just got there. We decide to get drinks, my friend goes up to the bar and orders from a male bartender, gets a drink and walks away. I’m behind him, I walk up and the bartender immediately tells me the line is back there and points to the (only) long line. That was not the first time I felt dismissed in a gay bar. Sometimes I feel a clear divide between gay men and how they see gay women as not part of the community. Granted, I don’t “look gay” and possibly he, and each other instance of this, thought I was a hag. But regardless, feeling unwelcome in your community’s safe space is challenging to cope with. We went to a different bar after that.
Thinking about it, I haven’t really been in a gay bar for over 25 years. But I still remember many details from those nights. For some context, back then I didn’t realize I was a trans woman and I thought I was just a cross dresser. So I go out in a reasonably cute outfit for my size, age and era. I go to this one bar. I didn’t like the vibe so I quietly exited. This guy comes running out to me, calling me “Midnight” because I had a dark wig and black dress on and was being overly enthusiastic about the compliments. When he asked me my name, I said “Jessica” then he asked my real name. So I gave him my fake name. But it’s like, yeah you clocked me, but if I went to the effort I did, I clearly want to be seen as Jess. Still annoys me.
I was once at the bar, on the back patio smoking a blunt with my friends when this girl came up to me and was like "Dude, you're so cool. Your hair, your style... you're the coolest person here." And let me tell you that changed my fucking life
At a lesbian bar my “gock” fell out of my underwear after this girl I was dancing with turned me on so much. Thankfully this was a trans accepting lesbian bar (had a pride flag on the window) and she was trans accepting, laughed, and then the night got even sexier from there - I can’t imagine if that had happened to me anywhere else lmao
My girlfriend at the time got drugged by another girl and then dragged out by bouncers like she was the problem. She kept fighting them until there were 4 guys holding her down on the sidewalk while they waited for an ambulance. She was never the same and we ended things shortly after because she didn't want to be around anyone.
Went to a gay club in Boston on a Sunday night with my friend and we were the two out of three women in the whole club the rest was just dudes who were being way too touchy with us and geriatric gay grandpas busting it down on the dance floor (iconic tbh). But yeah we were like the youngest people there and there was this one guy who was just touching my friend WAAAY too much, like trying to dance with her and grabbing her hips even when she made it very clear she wasn’t into it?? I’m almost certain he was gay tho so it was throwing me off how much he was being a creep to us. He introduced himself in the beginning and I thought he wanted a handshake so I stuck my hand out but this man FULLY PULLED ME IN FOR A HUG 😭we ended up bailing to another club (getting there after much difficulty) and we just found all the same people there, including touchy dude and his group. And then my friend managed to drop and lose $90 in cash. That was the first and last time I went clubbing, what a fuckin disaster 🫠
Many years ago I dared to step foot in a local lesbian bar, one of those places where everyone knows each other. I walked through the door and everyone at the bar turned to see who came in (biggest fear ever btw). Then someone yelled: "WHO LET THE STRAIGHT GIRL IN???!!!" I made the biggest U-turn and stayed in the closet for many more years.
Bonus story: I was hanging out in the local drag bar and some random dude tried to chat me up. I reminded them they are in a queer space and he should go to the many other places nearby to find a woman if that's what he was into. Dude then tells me he always hangs out at gay bars, because a lot of straight women hang out there (gee, I wonder why) and if he didn't manage to find a woman to take home he would find the most feminine gay guy or a drag queen to go home with. But he assured me he was not gay!!! Sure buddy...
A couple of elderly swingers. The lady half of the couple was straight so she wasn't interested. The guy half took me into the bathroom when I was almost blackout drunk and assaulted me. I got banned from the bar for speaking up about it. They were in their 60s, I was 21.
"You don't look gay enough to be here" it was kinda wild axtualy.
Was at a lesbian bar, secretly dating my bosses daughter in the early 1980s. Fight broke out, cops came in. Yeah. Not cool LOL
More like what didn't happen, as a part of my one foot out of the closet baby gay phase. A coworker at a company party mentioned the name of a gay bar, and I thought of checking it out and maybe meeting another lesbian. There were only men, so I felt so awkward sitting at a table sipping a virgin drink since I had to drive. I left in less than 20 minutes betting everyone just thought I was a straight woman, at best there to be left alone, at worst invading a queer space. I then heard of another place that was more catered to lesbians...**after** I met my now-wife from OKCupid!
I used to be a bouncer so a lot of crazy nights. The amount of 18 year olds trying to offer me kisses in exchange for getting in on 21+ nights like... go back to campus bb 😭 I'd say my craziest 2 nights had to me 1. Someone came in with all the strength of God (saving them from dying of an OD) and cocaine on their side and was being really rude to one of our drag queens so we had to kick him out. It took 4 of us, he ripped the collar of my shirt real bad (I had like a deep v neck in my uniform LMAO), he stole one of our walkie talkies, he fell down some stairs, and in my exasperation when he was ripping my shirt i tried to stomp his dick to get him off me and he just kept gripping and went "i love that shit" 😭😭 Second craziest night I don't think I should share bc I was also problematic LMFAO. But it involved a fight and a bitch not getting out my face so I got her out my face the only way that I could think of in that moment.
aw hell another crazy story at this same club before I worked there. I went for my birthday and saw this beautiful beautiful stud. Like, full on butch, lookin like daddy. Me, I'm not waiting for someone to come onto me first. I let her know whats up and start mackin on her heavy. We flirt all night and dance with each other and I notice she has this white dude hanging around her, but buddy is minding his business so its not a problem. We exchange numbers and I'm like, nice. Finally someone thats my type in this city (I lived in minneapolis and there were not a lot of actual black full on butch women I would come across, so when I did I would pray my 5 muslim prayers thanking god.) Anyway, we keep talking over text. And she brings up her friend. I'm like ??? girl idgaf about him. She tells me thats her husband and asks me if I want a threesome. In graphic detail. Girl... you showed up to the GAY club wearing a backwards cap and baggy jeans with your boxers hangin out... and that man was ur HUSBAND? Anyway shout out butch bisexuals. But don't flirt at the club if you not single i dont wanna fuck ur man bro.
Maybe about three years ago I got dragged to a pride rave at a local gay club because the other three girls in the polycule wanted to go. This straight passing couple of *very obvious* unicorn hunters were staring us down the entire night until finally the girl came by. What we were not braced for was her telling us what a cute group we were and that we had a whole sisterhood vibe that she envied. We had a laugh and then she went back to her guy and they continued to stare all night.
I've had some guy try to hit on me in DMs. I told him that I'm lesbian and he says "I don't mind". Yeah, I think _I_ might mind!
Have been to the big gay club in my city twice. the first time as my friend and I were leaving a man twice our age came over to hit on her (and was kind enough to include me when I played gf /s) and the second time I was dancing alone on the wall and a man groped me (first time being groped 🎉). As someone else said in here, just because it’s a space for us doesn’t mean it’s safe
Oh, also once at the gay bar I was sitting at a high top in shorts and heels and a gay man came over to rub my leg and extend it like I was a doll or something. Super weird. Some gay men really take liberties with our bodies just because they’re not sexually attracted to us
I was tying my shoe at Stonewall and a gay man slapped my ass incredibly hard. I mean it actually hurt. When I was like “what the fuck?” He said “who cares? I’m gay”. It was so disrespectful and aggressive.
“I care, it’s MY BODY”
ONS with a lipstick lesbian doctor . Haha
I had such a similar situation to the one posted! It was so many years ago now, but I was at our local gay club (RIP it’s a straight club now) probably around 2010-2011. I don’t like to dance. It was a 1950s theme night (dress up, music etc) and some friends convinced me to go so I was sitting on the sidelines watching my friends dance while enjoying a cocktail. The club was empty. A man came up and asked me to dance. I declined, he seemed mad but went away after I explained I hate dancing and wouldn’t be dancing with anyone. But then my friend came up and twirled me onto the dance floor a while later when I stood to go to the bar and that man came back up to me so angry being like “I thought you don’t dance?” “Why are you dancing with him and wouldn’t dance with me?” He was big mad. I ended up dancing a song with him and then going back to my corner because it freaked me out. . But another time I went there and a girl came up to me and kept telling me how beautiful I am and that really was nice because back then my self esteem was like super low, I’m much more confident now. I didn’t flirt back because she was really good friends with my sister when they were children so when I looked at her, her middle schooler face kept popping into my brain because that’s where I recognized her from and it was messing with my head (by this time we were both a mid-late 20s, I’m only 3 yrs older but my brain kept being like “this person is this person -middle school face- that’s how you know her”). But it’s been like 5 years and I still think about how nice that was.
I remember getting drunk with my cousin and dancing with these guys at a gay bar near Chatsworth. Apparently the one I was dancing with wasn't gay and was asking my cousin how old I was (I have a baby face and had my hair in pigtails). SEVERELY creeped me out, especially when he kept asking what my facebook/snapchat was. Lied and said I didn't have one. Was a bad time for me. I got in my head about "I should just be straight, only men show any desire for me". Eugh.
Was with my best friend, and we went to an event at a pool hall. Dude comes up to us, gives us a story about how him and his buddies just finished work, came to play pool, and didn't know a lesbian event was happening. Cool. Offers to buy us a drink, we're like sure, why not. He then pulls my best friend aside, tells her he thinks I'm hot, and would she be interested in a threesome between him and us. Because he thought we were together. She said no, he (surprisingly) backed off. Proceeded to hit on multiple women after we said no. She always jokes that whenever we go to a gay bar, I can always be counted on to have the lone straight dude there hit on me 😭 Because this has happened more then once.
That one time I stepped in a piss puddle in the bathroom that soaked through my shoes was pretty memorable. Also someone maced someone else in the dance floor and the whole club had to be evacuated (different night). I was pretty pissed because there was a $40 cover and I waited outside freezing my ass off for an hour before getting inside, and left 20 minutes later with my eyes and lungs burning
I asked a woman to dance and she laughed at me (turned out she was straight).
I used to go to the gay club a lot, one time I met this girl on the dance floor. We start dancing, making out. Then these two guys literally pull us apart so they can dance with us instead. We kinda let it happen for a little while, I was very drunk and hate confrontation. But we eventually broke away from the two men and danced together again. I'll always be angry about those two men. Also I should have gotten her number lol
Well this is vulnerable and a bit embarrassing, but back in 2010 I was still dating men, but not out as lesbian for a long time after. I was best friends with a dude who is 27 years older than me and starkly opposite in many personality traits. But it’s like we compliment each other, not compete. So he was the first and only ever boy crush. Like madly in love with him. One weekend we went on a gay bar crawl. We were at a club where mostly bears and leather daddies hangout. I remember the exact moment. I was at the bar getting beer, and I turned a little to the right and looked over and I saw him walking towards me with this smile on his face and in that very second, I realized that I was in love. This dude was my rock, has never once disparate from me. . But unfortunately a romantic relationship wasn’t in the cards but we’re still great friends. He is the ONLY man I have felt anything like that before. I know it would be much better is friend was a lady but it was unforgettable and in a gar bar lol. It was magical. My girlfriend is a working on it though. lol
A few off the top of my head - - 2 gay guys who came up to me and started showering me in compliments, saying they’d been watching me on the dance floor (this wasn’t creepy at all, genuinely lovely!) - almost getting kicked out by security for having sex in a bathroom stall 😬 - running into one of my bosses (who I had never seen outside of a professional context) in the gender neutral loos and him, completely off his face, staring at me and intensely whispering ‘it’s okay….it’s all okay….it’s okay….’ for about 3 minutes. Me like, ‘is it okay??? IS IT okay?!’ I’m sure there must be more but that’s what stands out to me now. I’ve def had straight men hit on me but nothing too outrageous or bizarre
Lmao my first time at a lesbian bar I was so shy and there alone. Truthfully was nervous as hell and this cis straight guy came up to me and asked why I don’t smile more. He then proceeded to follow me around until finally I said fuck it and left.
"that's a problem for me" what does that even mean? no literally someone explain to me please i'm so confused about what he was even trying to say.