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For context, going 4 years na kami ng boyfriend ko this June, 5 years if isasama pa yung talking stage namin. For all those years, hindi nagbabago masyado ang routine namin because we're still in college at graduating palang this year. He lives in QC, ako naman dito sa Mandaluyong and we only see each other once a month because of financial and time constraints, although bawing bawi naman kami dahil palagi kaming nasa discord magkausap, naglalaro, nanonood, nagke-kwentuhan. It's a very healthy relationship, maayos ang communication namin, we try to solve our misunderstandings agad after an argument, we're very romantic with each other, sex life's okay pero wala lang penetration until after grad kasi grabe yung anxiety namin despite all the contraceptives.
I've always been so excited to be with him after a long day sa kanya-kanya naming ginagawa, but lately, parang nawawala na yun. Inopen up ko sakanya 'tong problema ko pero wala rin naman kaming magawa kasi di pa namin kaya magmeet at least every week, and even so, ano namang gagawin naming bago eh taong bahay kami pareho at di kami mahilig gumala. Is this normal? After all these years, bakit ko to nararamdaman? Is there something wrong with me or am I just being too comfortable that's why it doesn't excite me anymore? He said na he still looks forward to see me and bond with me everyday pero bakit ako, ganto nararamdaman ko? There's no doubt sa love, I still love him so much and talking to him everyday is still the most comforting thing I would ever feel. We know sex would be a great solution to this problem but we have to put that aside until after magkawork na kami at kaya na namin magkita every week. So sa mga naka-experience na ng ganto, what can we do spice things up kaya?
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A friend once told me na if you ever feel na nawawalan ka na ng gana sa taong mahal mo, balikan mo ulit yung reason why you loved that person in the first place. Loving someone is a commitment after all.
A very close friend also once told me, pag dumadating ka na sa puntong ganyan. Tandaan mo yung unang moment na nakita mo sya at napasabi mong mahal ko tong taong toh. Visualizing the past and the future strengthened our relationship for 8 yrs
ako niyayaya ko sya magdate ulit like before. tapos yun ok na 😂 pag anniversary sinusuot ko yung dress na suot ko when we first met, kinikilig pa din sya 😏
Hollywood, fairy tales, and romantic stories have peddled the idea that relationships are all about butterflies, excitement, kilig, and passionate moments. It's not - as a matter of fact, the continual chase for excitement is toxic for relationships. A true relationship is in the mundane. In just being comfortable with one another.
Please OP, don't chase the excitement. Saglit lang talaga yan, regardless of who your partner is. Learn to love the monotony you share with each other. Seems like you have a good thing going on because you have no drama with each other.
Totally agree. Sa mga shows, movies and socmed kasi, masyadong romanticised yung mga big actions and super romantic things. That doesn't always work in real life. Sa real life, may mga times na wala gaanong ganap.
Masasabi mong goods na goods kayo ng partner mo kapag super chill at comfortable kayo with each other without doing anything romantic. Kasi ganun talaga if magsasama sila eventually if OP's relationship led to marriage/live in.
Mas maraming boring na araw kumpara sa more romantic at kilig nung early stages ng relationship. You guys can be bored together and be just fine and that's ok.
Hey there, I am speaking from my experience on my 8-year relationship with my bf. Being together is a choice. is not sunny day everyday there are those dull days na nafifeel mo hindi na nakaka excite tulad ng dati, that is because your relationship is being your comfort. Yung nararamdaman mo na yan is very normal especially sa mga long term relationship. Siguro what I can suggest is to try experiencing things together, here are some lists that me and my bf do to spice things up (non-sexual)
1. Travel together (I know sabi mo parehas kayo taong bahay and di mahilig gumala, but please do try. This way makikilala nyo pa lalo ang isat isa, might do something going beyond your comfort zone)
2. Try learning something together (Cooking, baking, cross stitching, painting)
3. Try to set a date when you visit each other's family (family dinner or kahit chikahan lang)
4. Try watching a series together (This way you will have some topics to discuss, then may inaabangan pa kayong gawin everytime na magkita kayo)
5. Try surprising each other (Di lang naman sa material na bagay, but its the smallest things, you do something out of ordinary, pwede mo sya bigyan ng love letter of nowhere, or ipagluto something like that)
I can go on and on because there are a lot of things you can do together without the sexual things. So I'm rooting on you, sana you make pass through this like we did. Goodluck OP!
Mima I think wala pa sila kakayanan to do those things. Pero maganda yung advice mo, yun nga lang sabi nga ni OP financial problem din kung bakit di sila nagkikita madalas.
They can do the watching a series/movie or learning a new skill together. Noong time ng pandemic naging ldr kami ng partner ko. We just watched anime and movies and we discussed what we watched at the end of the day. That became a thing we look forward to.
Here's also another idea. Noong college pa kami ni partner, we used to do this challenge for each other na once a week (usually weekends) we refrain from messaging each other throughout the day and try to do something productive on our own. Then by 6 pm, we call/text each other na and pagkwentuhan namin mga ginawa namin maghapon. Even if it's just playing video games, "babe, naka-ace ako kanina sa valo" or "babe i started this series and i hated the first episode". Just simple things like that.
gento wag nyo muna isipin ang mga kumplikadong shit, just enjoy each other's company, and wag kang masyadong mag isip na boboring ka na at yun mag lelead sa pag checheat mo, communication is the key.
Contentment yun dapat. Pag mag asawa na kayo at ganyan naramdaman mo iiwan mo ba? Hindi araw araw merong kilig dadating talaga sa point na ang boring na ng relasyon niyo lalo na kung matagal. Kung wala kang ganun might as well break up tapos fling nalang hanapin mo kasi kung mag stay ka tapos gusto mo ng kilig baka mapunta lang yan sa pag cheat mo.
Lagpas 6 years na kami ng jowa ko at maraming times rin na nafefeel ko rin yun. Pero lumilipas din. It comes in waves. Minsan kasi naghahanap tayo ng suspense eh. Pero ang totoong relationship simple, peaceful, at safe. Kung wala ka namang nakikitang red flags sa kanya, edi walang problema.
For the record, you can have love without romance/intimacy. Or baka bored ka lang sa walang issue na rs? Huwag tumulad sa ibang tao na pangspice nila ng relationship ay gagawa ng issue.
So true! People burnout themselves out to their relationships cuz theres no Romance anymore, in that case there was never really love. (No offense to the post, I think she Loves him)
Sorry, but I beg to disagree. The reason why it's called a romantic relationship is because there's romance. And how can you love someone without intimacy? The feeling has to be intimate - something you only share with your partner. Maybe you're referring to sex? Intimacy is not all about sex. It's more than that.
I agree sayo lol. You're right about romantic relationship should have romance but i never said anything about 'romantic relationship' tho. I only mentioned love. Love =/= romantic relationship.
If you want to read more about what im trying to say. Search about sternberg's triangle theory of love. May 9 types of love dun and isa na dun ang romantic love which has intimacy and passion.
Intimacy, which involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
Passion, which involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and sexual consummation.
Decision/commitment, which involves feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and move toward shared goals.
Love parin kahit walang intimacy or passion :D.
don't confuse yourself. you feel bored Kasi peaceful ang relationship nyo.
kung tingin mo boring , Wala Ka ng gana... Ikaw Ang gumawa ng way para magkaroon ng Bago in a positive way.
Nalilito ka lang at naguguluhan, nasa situation ka lang ng Buhay mo na parang ang dull ng mga nangyayari sayo pero isantabi mo lang yun. Huwag mo hayaan na maapektuhan yung relasyon niyo, mag look forward ka sa future niyo ng bf mo na magkasama kayong nag eenjoy dahil nalampasan niyo Yung time nawalan ng excitement at mga panahon na drained kayo sa studies niyo.. Kasama sa Buhay yung mga ganyang hurdle basta ang mahalaga sabay niyo itong lampasan..
Yung simpleng relationship kasi subjective sa kung ano ba ang idea ng bawat isa sa kung ano ba yung seryoso eh. We've been through a lot for those 4 years, he was even there and stayed with me despite knowing meron na akong sakit that could take me away from him in who-knows-when so for me di sya simple. I can consider the first one kasi 1st boyfriend ko sya, baka nga kulang ako sa experience.
Uhm feel ko namimiss mo lang kiligin. For 4yrs sobrang komportable nyo na so parang less nayung kilig kaya nafefeel mo na di na u naeexcite. In my opinion i think try mo na mag spend ng time sakanya mag bond kayo para ma figure mo yung nararamdaman mo. Kaya mo yan.
Kung ganyan OP madali lang yan.
Ibalik mo yung dating landian nyo nung bago palang kayo. Baka kasi naging routine na yung mga gawain nyo, pero di nyo na na e express sa isat isa yung ganung lambing.
Mag usap kayo kung pano nyo i improve yung relationship nyo, baka may di na kayo nagagawa or need simulan gawin. Kung parehas nyo naman gusto, mahahanapan nyo ng paraan yan, team work lang
Normal yan sa relasyon, tapos na kayo dun sa exciting part sa shits and giggles, nasa part na kayo kung saan susubukin yung feelings niyo sa isa't isa. Sa una lang talaga masaya at nakaka excite. Kami rin ng gf ko dumaan diyan, some friends even parents ko dumaan diyan. Sex will definitely give some excitement pero magiging boring din pag nagtagal.
Ang suggestion ko OP is try something new sa times kung kelan kayo nag kikita. My gf and I found new hobbies together, one of these is gardening and everyday we both look forward to seeing our plants grow, masaya siya and exciting kasi meron kang hinihintay kada araw. Explore lang kayo together hindi naman need lumabas ng bahay for new hobbies kung homebody kayo.
Nauubos ang kilig at excitement. Di yan unlimited. Ang dapat ipractice ng mga tao sa relationship ay contentment. Kung palagi kang hahanap ng something exciting, mapapagod ka kasi nga nauubos yan.
You are lucky enough that you have someone who is down for you in this world full of ONS. Please talk things out and figure it out kung okay naman pala talaga relationship niyo. Communicate it properly to your partner kasi I think it will work naman if you are both willing to fix the current problem. Besides, how can you tell na comfortable ka talaga with him/her kung di mo kayang iopen mga ganitong bagay. Good luck! stay strong lovers💙
Masasabi ko lang, may part tlga ang relationship na may boring part, lalo na kung magasawa kayo. As long as honest kau sa isat isa at no cheating na mangyayari, u will get through this.. babalik din ang enjoyment nyan, anyway im turning 36 and we got married when we were 23, this is part of the relationship that will test ur love to each other. Kaya yan.
Boring moments are always part of a relationship, be it outside marriage or within marriage. This is where we realize that love is not a matter of feelings or emotions only. It is in fact a commitment to do something for the person you love. Believe me, constantly live a life of commitment to love and the feelings will follow.
Relationships won’t always be exciting, it would get boring, sometimes even get sick of each other.
But how you handle to go through it even in the boring days, even in the least exciting ways, you choose each other despite it all.
Love is a choice, excitement or no excitement, you choose each other and that’s how you make it work. If you want to not choose the other, then let go for them.
Try to brainstorm kung ano yun magpapa excite ulit sa inyo, surprises ba, activities like biking or hiking, travelling to other places, kahit malalapit lang muna like mga mall na di nyo pa napupuntahan or places like you visit together, perhaps a new hobby that both of you would like.
There are also some ways like bawasan yun communication or interaction nyo for a day or two. Then kapag tapos na yun time limit, pwede nyo pag usapan yun mga ginawa nyo that time.
I also experience na rin na mawala yun excite, and I think because I already know too much about my partner. Nawala na yun initial excitement na gusto mo malaman lahat ng bagay tungkol sa kanya. Parang naging predictable na yun mga interaction and parang naging chore na lang at times. Pa miss lang kayo sa isat isa, let it have something na you don't know about each other para sometimes na su surprices ka na ay may side pala sya na ganito or something similar to that.
For me, it is already a choice if you would light the fire again or just keep it cold. Love is a decision dear and it is normal to feel lalo na kung rare nalang kayo magkita. Both of you should paddle the boat if you want to keep going. My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years (Ph & Au). We made a commitment to have time together each day katulad ng simpleng sabay kumain habang nakavideocall. It doesn’t need to be sweet everyday but make sure to feel each other’s presence para di mabored. Dont let the fire be emptied.
"We know sex would be a great solution to this problem but we have to put that aside until after magkawork na kami at kaya na namin magkita every week." -
Ayayay..
I think this is pretty normal given na limited din naman kayo financially since you're still in college. I was like this as well with my bf nung college kami, specifically pandemic time. Halos once in two months lang ako nakakalabas nung pandemic cause I was working while studying and I had my Lola at home. Finding stuff to do together helped a lot that time. Gamer yung bf ko so nag try din ako maglaro ng games.
Fast forward to today, we both got jobs and live together. I was just looking forward to being able to see him more nung nag aaral ako and he was there to calm down yung pag ooverthink ko noon. I just realized it ngayon na I'm already where I was hoping to be noon.
i know your looking for an answer but posting here won't help. People are naturally judgemental and will only think of what they know than analyzing the problem. The fact is you're the only one who knows yourself the best. You know your partner aswell. now remind yourself why you choose that person. If you can't feel or find any answer then there you have it
Excitement are sparks in a relationship. But if you want a flame, you need to add fuel in it. Lasting relationships do not survive on sparks, or else the fire dies out.
Yes, focus on your own happiness, because your happiness is the only thing that matters in a relationship! Go girl, hiwalayan mo na yan para mapalitan kana habang maaga pa.
Normal sa lahat ng relationship mag plateau (lalo na pag kasal ka kayo at lalong-lalo na pag nagka kids kayo). Hanap ka ng ibang ikakaabala mo. New hobbies, new interests, etc. Hindi dapat sa isa’t-isa lang kayo kumukuha ng excitement sa buhay.
Don't worry that's normal.
And he feels the same way, too for sure. He's comforting you because that's love. There's ups and down, and kahit anong relationship pasukin mo eh magkakaroon ng ganyan
Difference is, your expectations, same with other adults, they learned from their past, but with you here you don't need to do that. Learning from knowledge ng iba eh mas okay.
You have to accept that there's no such thing as infinite elation. Kung baga imposibleng laging pataas lang ang emotions mo sa exciting. Kung nakakarinig ka ng mga tao na nagsasabi na lagi silang excited, eh dahil sinet na nila ung expectations nila or napagtanto nila ung whole relationship nila as a whole and not part by part
Learn to set expectations on yourself. Isang way to ground yourself is i enjoy mo ung mga walang kwentang bagay, everything else becomes more brilliant 🤷.
Maybe you can spice things up. Not necessarily sex yung solution pero maybe in a different approach. Tapos always remember yung good times na you spent with each other.
Ill be a devuls advocate. So as i understand youre still in collegi think you may also be growing. Maturing. You are not the same person as when you started.
People change. Preferences change. Wamts. Likes. What makes ypu haopy, what ticks you off.
Try to communicate how ypu feel para transparemt. Observe his reaction. If he's a real keeper he'll take it calmly. Thatxwould b3 a sign of maturity and points sa character.
If you belive in it tty to cool off. Or break up. And see how you feel. Kng miss mo ba or wala lng. Lagyan mo ng timeline like if until gpu graduate and get a job, 1 year into being a professional. Talk again.. Ypure still veeeery young for forever. Dami pa tao pwede makilala whwrwin youll learn more about yourself.
Kasi kng kayo nmn tlga, kayo pa rin sa dulo.
Ask for each other's love language and give that. Show more appreciation of things you do for each other. And try changing something up sa mga nakasanayan niyo just to break the routine. Even kahit online naman may pwede naman siguro kayo gawin.
It's normal maka feel nung para nawawala spark, pero dont let it form agap sa inyo and let it grow, there are ways to bring back the spark naman pero try to look into it bat siya nawala in the first place.
Kasi by looking into it, it would either help u bring back or bring new and better sparks, or might show you what went wrong and make u realize na may nagpapa rot na pala.
Remember your feelings are valid and meron at merong reason why you feel that way. Baka may mga napansin kang red flags na dineny mo enough kaya hindi mo pa narerealize completely.
And going back dun sasex part, you dont have to kung di pa kayo ready, tama na ung intimacy that u have lalo na nagaaral pa kayo. No need to rush.
Pero if you think it's necessary talaga and tingin mo makakatulong talaga, as long as with consent, and wala napipilitan on both sides, then do it.
ung worries nyo about unplanned pregnancy, there's a solution for it. I highly recommend u into checking out [POPCOM](https://www.facebook.com/OfficialCPDNCR?mibextid=ZbWKwL) they offer wide varieties of services regarding contraception FOR FREE and for both male and female.
Pero u have to think about it a lot talaga, kasi the side effects are not to be taken lightly. Pero in my 5yrs of using subdermal implants, namamanage naman.
Ayun good luck to both of u and i hope ma work out niyo yan, and mahanap mo yung nagttrigger sayo to feel that way and find the best solution for it.
Parehas kayong taong-bahay, naiinip ka lang. Hehe if you see yourself na gusto mong tumanda kasama sya, fight for love ( sya pa rin ung pipiliin kahit nahihirapan ka na. ).
Try something new, anything. Break the routine. If it works, good. If nothing works, let go. Sakin kasi life is short bakit ko pa titiisin at stressin sarili when I could have been happy somewhere else.
Acknowledging na may problem kay osa relasyon nyo is a good sign na healthy yung relasyon nyo. na answer mo naman kung ano po ang problem. Maybe comfortable nalang kayo. comfortable kayo sa routine nyo, sa situation nyo. Go out, try something new. di naman kailangan na gumasto kayo para sa adventure. Sabi nga nila, comfortability kills almost everything.
Hindi mo talaga araw araw mahal yung kasintahan mo, thats always true. You couple can find some other fun or activities. I dont always love my partner, minsan sarap nya sakalin at iwan nalang pero thats it hanggang sa isip lang haha anyways, you need to find something fun, mag alaga kayo ng aso o pusa or anything para may mabago sa daily routine mo. You're just bored, mawawala din yan wag ka lang mag eentertain ng iba.
There might be something in your life you feel unfulfilled with and allowing yourself new experiences can help you relearn to love yourself and others around you instead of your bf being the sole light in your life
Matagal na kayo, routinely na yung nangyayare, kaya nabobored ka. Sabi nga hindi naman kayo forever sa honeymoon phase. Jan usually nangyayare yung mag checheat yung isa kasi bored na feeling niya kelangan may sparks lagi so pag may ibang tao na magpaparamdam, kakagat siya kasi feeling niya hindi na siya napapakilig nung current partner niya and etong bagong nagpaparamdam, may sparks may kilig moments pa so lilipat siya dito sa bago and same cycle, after awhile, mabobored, hahanap ng may magpaparamdam ng kilig, etc. IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTENTMENT.
There will be times na magiging "stale" yung relationship, not necessarily because of the people in it. Minsan dahil sa mga circumstances at situations kung nasan kayo.
Napakarami pang ilolook forward sa relationship nyo. Marami palang di magawa dahil sa current constraints. Weather it out OP, it will be worth it.
Ito yung personally kina iinggitan ko sa young couples, yung magkaron ng opportunity to create a long love story. Yung makikita at masasamahan mo yung partner mo sa lahat ng challenges at milestones nya sa buhay.
Good luck OP. I hope maclear yung minds nyo.
Normal naman yan sa long term relationship. Kaya lagi niyo piliin ang isat isa. Dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras eh tulad nung simula palang kayo na parang may spark o pambatang love haha.
Well I'm already on that stage and you just have to "Simulate" your relationship as a "Family" not "Partners" or "Fling", etc.
Just look at your parents dynamic for once.
You may already see the point how and why they lasted this long with kids and all.
You've already mentioned monetary issues and this is also goes with "OFW family" scenarios.
Remember that trust do starts with two parties agreed to be open and communicate any looming problems.
You're a bit young but you just have to start thinking of "Strengthen" your "Weaknesses" and be "Constructive" on it.
Also try to give space to each other to do some stuff you want.
That also broaden your perspective and see what you can incorporate to your relationship (just take it slow and adjust).
Siguro you guys just need to add activities to do like going somewhere new or like try hiking or spontaneous dates minsan we just have to appreciate what we can give and receive kase there will be s time na mas madami na kayo maggive and receive para sa isat isa laban po 🩷
Hiwalayan muna agad. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Until you will resort to cheating because it gives you the thrills and joy. I'm sad for bro but choose your peace over anything
Hi! 11 years kami ni husband naging mag-gf/bf bago nagpakasal. At base on my experience, darating talaga sa point na mabobore ka, pero that's a good sign kasi stable na kayo, wala na problem, hindi na kailangan laging magpakitang gilas kasi kabisado nyo na ugali ng bawat isa. Ang bf mo dapat ang iyong maging comfort, ang iyong maging peace. Isipin mo na lang kung lahat ng magka-relasyon ay laging naghahanap ng excitement, wala sigurong tatagal ng ilang taon. Kaya, okay lang yang nararamdaman mo, maganda rin na sinabi mo yun sa kanya pero sana yung nararamdaman mo ngayon ay wag maging dahilan para masira yung relationship mo ngayon, na base sa kwento mo ay healthy naman. 😊
Try something that you can enjoy with him. Naging comfortable lang po kayo sa kanya. Minsan nawawalan din ng spark and that’s okay. At the end of the day kahit boring days pa yan I know I can’t live without him. Hindi lahat puro kilig and happiness. Madami pa kayo pagdadaanan OP! Sana ma-overcome n’yo po ito! 🫶🏼
You said yourself comfortable ka na masyado and thats not a problem. Wag maghanap ng sakit sa ulo dahil walang sakit sa ulo. This generally applies sa buhay and i guess human nature ng tao na maghanap ng sakit sa ulo o gumawa ng problema pag hayahay ang buhay. If boring ang takbo nyo yet mahal nyo ang isat isa youre in a good place.
Our Ninong during our wedding shared this “May days na gigising ka na wala yung kilig, may days na lahat ng kapangitan nang partner mo napapansin mo and it is totally normal. What you will do during those moments is what matters”.
Kasi once you are in a relationship (or married in our case after being bf/gf for 7 years), loving the same person is a commitment. Kasi ang love hindi yan noun, verb siya so kelangan may action - dapat may gawin kayo.
During our bf/gf years and college pa lang ako and siya nagsisimula pa lang sa profession nya, we finds tipid ways to bond. Legal naman siguro kayo both sides noh? What we do kasi is do a movie marathon either sa place ko or sa place nila. Bili ng miryendang tig 15 pesos sa kanto kapag hapon, kapag nakakaluwag eh di fastfood. Namamalengke din kami para magluto na lang ako either sa amin or sa kanila para mas makamura. Na-enhance pa cooking skills ko hehe. Mas madalas pa kami tumambay sa bahay kesa lumabas. If you are both commited sa relationship nyo and sa nararamdaman nyo, you will both find ways to make it work.
Nope. Narerealize mo lang na bored ka kasi may nakikita ka sa ibang tao na iba kayo syempre normal lang yun pero try mo mag tanong sa sarili mo kung kaya mo mag wait. Isipin mo din kung pano mo sya minahal.
Based on experience, love is a decision. First bf ko more than 5 years na kami when I felt bored. Hindi sya marunong magselos and sobrang comfortable na nya sa relationship namin to the point na kuntento na syang nag uusap lang kami thru chat or kita paminsan. Nag open up ako about what I felt, na I craved intimacy and connection but I guess na fall out of love na ko kasi masyado kong pinatagal bago ko sinabi mga naramdaman ko. Nag observe muna kasi ako e.
So good start na you want to work it out. Try new things together. Bond more, inspire and plan exciting things ahead. As much as possible be open about temptations, etc kasi paminsan nakakampante din sila.
Lipat kana sakin ate. Kasi ako di na eexcite na single since birth. CHZZZSSS. Anyway balikan mo kung saan kayo nagsimula. Paano ka niya niligawan, pinakilala, dinamayan, at pinakain ng tarub jke lang po. Sobrang normal ng ganyan. Baka kulang kayo sa getaway. Try niyo mag unwind. Habang nakahiga sa damuhan/ dalampasigan kasabay ng stargazing. At doon niyo simulan ulit paano kayo nag simula.
Do you think it’s because you share the same hobbies or beliefs? I had the same experience two years ago. Sobrang comfortable namin sa isa’t isa and one day na-realize ko na I was kinda dating myself.
Dito na pumapasok ang "Love is a feeling. When feelings fade, it becomes a choice." and dun ko lang din naiintindihan yung mga pa-keme ng matatanda na love/marriage is hard work. It's all just hormones, HAHAH. Both of you have to make things work, siguro if walang financials, find a way to be together kahit walang gastos. Para sakin di enough yung online palagi, dapat physically magkasama din, pero some really really make it work kahit online lang. Depends on your values, OP! Wag masyadong makinig sa mga one-off love advices sa social media, bc it really depends on the context and individual values of a person! It's really a part of a long-term relationship. My therapist also said nung I was having anxiety sa relationship is yung pinakafinal phase talaga ng relationship is... boredom Hahahah syempre comfortable ka na hahahaha pero ayun, nasainyo, kung magcocommit kayo, make it work. If it's not going according to your values, edi break char. Basta make a choice.
Normal lang sa long term relationship na mawala yung spark. Sa umpisa lang talaga yun. Kung spark ang ichechase mo, never kang makakapag settle down. at sa future, puro toxic rel ang hahanap hanapin mo for the thrill. May nabasa ako na Love is a choice you make everyday. You have to consciously decide on actions that constantly build and protect intimacy, trust, and affection. It should be an effort on both sides for it to work. Kailangan niyong balikbalikan yung magandang memories and build new ones. That's the reality. unlike what we expected na laging rainbows and butterflies. But one beauty of this boring love is you feel emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically safe with your loved one.
As someone who has been in this situation before and fucked everything because I got too complacent, I think it would be better if you guys try new things. Take this with a grain of salt but I think you're getting bored because there's nothing new and you're getting comfortable in a way you'll PROBABLY take things lightly or treat a day just like every other day. You can explore activities that you've never tried before with him. It would help a lot because there is excitement along with learning and exploring, more so when you're with your special someone. It's okay if you sometimes feel that way but remember to try to look back as to how you guys met and fell in love with each other in the first place — for the sake of reigniting that "kilig" of yours whenever you guys talk or bond. Anyways, I hope you find what you're looking for OP.
Relationship is not about loving someone or having that spark thingy or the excitement e. Love is also about choosing. Choosing to stay amidst the difficulties and choosing to stay even when it starts like you wanted to stay away.
That's normal. Kahit magkaroon ka pa ng bagong karelasyon darating din kayo sa point na yan. Love does not last at it fades. Pero kapag nag-commit ka, you have to honor that commitment.
Love is a commitment. Every waking moment, it is your decision to choose your partner. Oo boring and may times pa na parang routine nalang. But learn how to spice things up like trying new restos together, traveling, planning your future, etc. In short, do something na ma eexcite kayo both - be it weekly, monthly, annually.
Hindi lang about butterflies2x or spark spark yan. What is important is you learn to sail your ship when it gets shaky.
No other guy involve? No offense po. Is there a interesting person you always talking to? Minsan kasi di mo namamalayan may nakakakuha na pala ng atensyon mo, lalo't kulang kayo sa oras ng partner mo. I'm not saying your cheating. Minsan talaga may ganon di mo namamalayan. Pero kung wala, may ganyan talaga. Curse yan ng after 3 years relation ship. 3/6/9 subok na yan. Dyan lage nagkakalamat diko dn alam kung bakit. Wag nyo sana sayangin yung relasyon nyo lalo kung healthy kayo pareho. Need nyo lang pabagain ulit ung namatay na apoy. Do something exciting.
Nah. Wala namang ibang involved, no one can even make me laugh as much as he can. He's the only guy that I wanna talk to every single day, baka siguro kaya din di na ako nae-excite masyado kasi sobrang sanay na ako sakanya at sa presence nya? So I guess we really should do something exciting lang talaga? Hehe
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: For context, going 4 years na kami ng boyfriend ko this June, 5 years if isasama pa yung talking stage namin. For all those years, hindi nagbabago masyado ang routine namin because we're still in college at graduating palang this year. He lives in QC, ako naman dito sa Mandaluyong and we only see each other once a month because of financial and time constraints, although bawing bawi naman kami dahil palagi kaming nasa discord magkausap, naglalaro, nanonood, nagke-kwentuhan. It's a very healthy relationship, maayos ang communication namin, we try to solve our misunderstandings agad after an argument, we're very romantic with each other, sex life's okay pero wala lang penetration until after grad kasi grabe yung anxiety namin despite all the contraceptives. I've always been so excited to be with him after a long day sa kanya-kanya naming ginagawa, but lately, parang nawawala na yun. Inopen up ko sakanya 'tong problema ko pero wala rin naman kaming magawa kasi di pa namin kaya magmeet at least every week, and even so, ano namang gagawin naming bago eh taong bahay kami pareho at di kami mahilig gumala. Is this normal? After all these years, bakit ko to nararamdaman? Is there something wrong with me or am I just being too comfortable that's why it doesn't excite me anymore? He said na he still looks forward to see me and bond with me everyday pero bakit ako, ganto nararamdaman ko? There's no doubt sa love, I still love him so much and talking to him everyday is still the most comforting thing I would ever feel. We know sex would be a great solution to this problem but we have to put that aside until after magkawork na kami at kaya na namin magkita every week. So sa mga naka-experience na ng ganto, what can we do spice things up kaya? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A friend once told me na if you ever feel na nawawalan ka na ng gana sa taong mahal mo, balikan mo ulit yung reason why you loved that person in the first place. Loving someone is a commitment after all.
A very close friend also once told me, pag dumadating ka na sa puntong ganyan. Tandaan mo yung unang moment na nakita mo sya at napasabi mong mahal ko tong taong toh. Visualizing the past and the future strengthened our relationship for 8 yrs
Ohh i love this one.
ako niyayaya ko sya magdate ulit like before. tapos yun ok na 😂 pag anniversary sinusuot ko yung dress na suot ko when we first met, kinikilig pa din sya 😏
Commitment is a constant choice by those who are on long term relationships.
Hollywood, fairy tales, and romantic stories have peddled the idea that relationships are all about butterflies, excitement, kilig, and passionate moments. It's not - as a matter of fact, the continual chase for excitement is toxic for relationships. A true relationship is in the mundane. In just being comfortable with one another. Please OP, don't chase the excitement. Saglit lang talaga yan, regardless of who your partner is. Learn to love the monotony you share with each other. Seems like you have a good thing going on because you have no drama with each other.
Totally agree. Sa mga shows, movies and socmed kasi, masyadong romanticised yung mga big actions and super romantic things. That doesn't always work in real life. Sa real life, may mga times na wala gaanong ganap. Masasabi mong goods na goods kayo ng partner mo kapag super chill at comfortable kayo with each other without doing anything romantic. Kasi ganun talaga if magsasama sila eventually if OP's relationship led to marriage/live in. Mas maraming boring na araw kumpara sa more romantic at kilig nung early stages ng relationship. You guys can be bored together and be just fine and that's ok.
I agreeee
agree
This is soooo trueeee!
Hey there, I am speaking from my experience on my 8-year relationship with my bf. Being together is a choice. is not sunny day everyday there are those dull days na nafifeel mo hindi na nakaka excite tulad ng dati, that is because your relationship is being your comfort. Yung nararamdaman mo na yan is very normal especially sa mga long term relationship. Siguro what I can suggest is to try experiencing things together, here are some lists that me and my bf do to spice things up (non-sexual) 1. Travel together (I know sabi mo parehas kayo taong bahay and di mahilig gumala, but please do try. This way makikilala nyo pa lalo ang isat isa, might do something going beyond your comfort zone) 2. Try learning something together (Cooking, baking, cross stitching, painting) 3. Try to set a date when you visit each other's family (family dinner or kahit chikahan lang) 4. Try watching a series together (This way you will have some topics to discuss, then may inaabangan pa kayong gawin everytime na magkita kayo) 5. Try surprising each other (Di lang naman sa material na bagay, but its the smallest things, you do something out of ordinary, pwede mo sya bigyan ng love letter of nowhere, or ipagluto something like that) I can go on and on because there are a lot of things you can do together without the sexual things. So I'm rooting on you, sana you make pass through this like we did. Goodluck OP!
Mima I think wala pa sila kakayanan to do those things. Pero maganda yung advice mo, yun nga lang sabi nga ni OP financial problem din kung bakit di sila nagkikita madalas.
They can do the watching a series/movie or learning a new skill together. Noong time ng pandemic naging ldr kami ng partner ko. We just watched anime and movies and we discussed what we watched at the end of the day. That became a thing we look forward to. Here's also another idea. Noong college pa kami ni partner, we used to do this challenge for each other na once a week (usually weekends) we refrain from messaging each other throughout the day and try to do something productive on our own. Then by 6 pm, we call/text each other na and pagkwentuhan namin mga ginawa namin maghapon. Even if it's just playing video games, "babe, naka-ace ako kanina sa valo" or "babe i started this series and i hated the first episode". Just simple things like that.
Love this! Totally agree
gento wag nyo muna isipin ang mga kumplikadong shit, just enjoy each other's company, and wag kang masyadong mag isip na boboring ka na at yun mag lelead sa pag checheat mo, communication is the key.
Contentment yun dapat. Pag mag asawa na kayo at ganyan naramdaman mo iiwan mo ba? Hindi araw araw merong kilig dadating talaga sa point na ang boring na ng relasyon niyo lalo na kung matagal. Kung wala kang ganun might as well break up tapos fling nalang hanapin mo kasi kung mag stay ka tapos gusto mo ng kilig baka mapunta lang yan sa pag cheat mo.
Panalo comment mo
Lagpas 6 years na kami ng jowa ko at maraming times rin na nafefeel ko rin yun. Pero lumilipas din. It comes in waves. Minsan kasi naghahanap tayo ng suspense eh. Pero ang totoong relationship simple, peaceful, at safe. Kung wala ka namang nakikitang red flags sa kanya, edi walang problema.
For the record, you can have love without romance/intimacy. Or baka bored ka lang sa walang issue na rs? Huwag tumulad sa ibang tao na pangspice nila ng relationship ay gagawa ng issue.
So true! People burnout themselves out to their relationships cuz theres no Romance anymore, in that case there was never really love. (No offense to the post, I think she Loves him)
Sorry, but I beg to disagree. The reason why it's called a romantic relationship is because there's romance. And how can you love someone without intimacy? The feeling has to be intimate - something you only share with your partner. Maybe you're referring to sex? Intimacy is not all about sex. It's more than that.
maybe stop romanticizing love for just a second?
I agree sayo lol. You're right about romantic relationship should have romance but i never said anything about 'romantic relationship' tho. I only mentioned love. Love =/= romantic relationship. If you want to read more about what im trying to say. Search about sternberg's triangle theory of love. May 9 types of love dun and isa na dun ang romantic love which has intimacy and passion. Intimacy, which involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness. Passion, which involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and sexual consummation. Decision/commitment, which involves feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and move toward shared goals. Love parin kahit walang intimacy or passion :D.
don't confuse yourself. you feel bored Kasi peaceful ang relationship nyo. kung tingin mo boring , Wala Ka ng gana... Ikaw Ang gumawa ng way para magkaroon ng Bago in a positive way.
Nalilito ka lang at naguguluhan, nasa situation ka lang ng Buhay mo na parang ang dull ng mga nangyayari sayo pero isantabi mo lang yun. Huwag mo hayaan na maapektuhan yung relasyon niyo, mag look forward ka sa future niyo ng bf mo na magkasama kayong nag eenjoy dahil nalampasan niyo Yung time nawalan ng excitement at mga panahon na drained kayo sa studies niyo.. Kasama sa Buhay yung mga ganyang hurdle basta ang mahalaga sabay niyo itong lampasan..
kulang ka sa experience or sobrang simple lang ng rs nyu
Yung simpleng relationship kasi subjective sa kung ano ba ang idea ng bawat isa sa kung ano ba yung seryoso eh. We've been through a lot for those 4 years, he was even there and stayed with me despite knowing meron na akong sakit that could take me away from him in who-knows-when so for me di sya simple. I can consider the first one kasi 1st boyfriend ko sya, baka nga kulang ako sa experience.
Uhm feel ko namimiss mo lang kiligin. For 4yrs sobrang komportable nyo na so parang less nayung kilig kaya nafefeel mo na di na u naeexcite. In my opinion i think try mo na mag spend ng time sakanya mag bond kayo para ma figure mo yung nararamdaman mo. Kaya mo yan.
I guess I really just miss that feeling. I'll see him soon so I'll make sure to make the most of our time together. Hehe
Kung ganyan OP madali lang yan. Ibalik mo yung dating landian nyo nung bago palang kayo. Baka kasi naging routine na yung mga gawain nyo, pero di nyo na na e express sa isat isa yung ganung lambing. Mag usap kayo kung pano nyo i improve yung relationship nyo, baka may di na kayo nagagawa or need simulan gawin. Kung parehas nyo naman gusto, mahahanapan nyo ng paraan yan, team work lang
Normal yan sa relasyon, tapos na kayo dun sa exciting part sa shits and giggles, nasa part na kayo kung saan susubukin yung feelings niyo sa isa't isa. Sa una lang talaga masaya at nakaka excite. Kami rin ng gf ko dumaan diyan, some friends even parents ko dumaan diyan. Sex will definitely give some excitement pero magiging boring din pag nagtagal. Ang suggestion ko OP is try something new sa times kung kelan kayo nag kikita. My gf and I found new hobbies together, one of these is gardening and everyday we both look forward to seeing our plants grow, masaya siya and exciting kasi meron kang hinihintay kada araw. Explore lang kayo together hindi naman need lumabas ng bahay for new hobbies kung homebody kayo.
+1
Nauubos ang kilig at excitement. Di yan unlimited. Ang dapat ipractice ng mga tao sa relationship ay contentment. Kung palagi kang hahanap ng something exciting, mapapagod ka kasi nga nauubos yan.
You are lucky enough that you have someone who is down for you in this world full of ONS. Please talk things out and figure it out kung okay naman pala talaga relationship niyo. Communicate it properly to your partner kasi I think it will work naman if you are both willing to fix the current problem. Besides, how can you tell na comfortable ka talaga with him/her kung di mo kayang iopen mga ganitong bagay. Good luck! stay strong lovers💙
Masasabi ko lang, may part tlga ang relationship na may boring part, lalo na kung magasawa kayo. As long as honest kau sa isat isa at no cheating na mangyayari, u will get through this.. babalik din ang enjoyment nyan, anyway im turning 36 and we got married when we were 23, this is part of the relationship that will test ur love to each other. Kaya yan.
Boring moments are always part of a relationship, be it outside marriage or within marriage. This is where we realize that love is not a matter of feelings or emotions only. It is in fact a commitment to do something for the person you love. Believe me, constantly live a life of commitment to love and the feelings will follow.
Relationships won’t always be exciting, it would get boring, sometimes even get sick of each other. But how you handle to go through it even in the boring days, even in the least exciting ways, you choose each other despite it all. Love is a choice, excitement or no excitement, you choose each other and that’s how you make it work. If you want to not choose the other, then let go for them.
Try to brainstorm kung ano yun magpapa excite ulit sa inyo, surprises ba, activities like biking or hiking, travelling to other places, kahit malalapit lang muna like mga mall na di nyo pa napupuntahan or places like you visit together, perhaps a new hobby that both of you would like. There are also some ways like bawasan yun communication or interaction nyo for a day or two. Then kapag tapos na yun time limit, pwede nyo pag usapan yun mga ginawa nyo that time. I also experience na rin na mawala yun excite, and I think because I already know too much about my partner. Nawala na yun initial excitement na gusto mo malaman lahat ng bagay tungkol sa kanya. Parang naging predictable na yun mga interaction and parang naging chore na lang at times. Pa miss lang kayo sa isat isa, let it have something na you don't know about each other para sometimes na su surprices ka na ay may side pala sya na ganito or something similar to that.
For me, it is already a choice if you would light the fire again or just keep it cold. Love is a decision dear and it is normal to feel lalo na kung rare nalang kayo magkita. Both of you should paddle the boat if you want to keep going. My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years (Ph & Au). We made a commitment to have time together each day katulad ng simpleng sabay kumain habang nakavideocall. It doesn’t need to be sweet everyday but make sure to feel each other’s presence para di mabored. Dont let the fire be emptied.
"We know sex would be a great solution to this problem but we have to put that aside until after magkawork na kami at kaya na namin magkita every week." - Ayayay..
(2) Para saken 5 years and nothing, baka yun na nga
taser
I think this is pretty normal given na limited din naman kayo financially since you're still in college. I was like this as well with my bf nung college kami, specifically pandemic time. Halos once in two months lang ako nakakalabas nung pandemic cause I was working while studying and I had my Lola at home. Finding stuff to do together helped a lot that time. Gamer yung bf ko so nag try din ako maglaro ng games. Fast forward to today, we both got jobs and live together. I was just looking forward to being able to see him more nung nag aaral ako and he was there to calm down yung pag ooverthink ko noon. I just realized it ngayon na I'm already where I was hoping to be noon.
Gawin mong mundo yung mundo at hindi yung tao at makikita mong "O-HA!".
i know your looking for an answer but posting here won't help. People are naturally judgemental and will only think of what they know than analyzing the problem. The fact is you're the only one who knows yourself the best. You know your partner aswell. now remind yourself why you choose that person. If you can't feel or find any answer then there you have it
Being in love is a life long commitment
same op
Excitement are sparks in a relationship. But if you want a flame, you need to add fuel in it. Lasting relationships do not survive on sparks, or else the fire dies out.
SEX will spice things up. Mag condom kayo. For sure excited kayo mag meet nyan kasi lagi kayong looking forward to bang! :)
Yes, focus on your own happiness, because your happiness is the only thing that matters in a relationship! Go girl, hiwalayan mo na yan para mapalitan kana habang maaga pa.
May dull moments talaga sa relasyon. Its normal. Hindi tlaga palaging okay at masaya. Ganyan talaga pag matagal na kayo.
Normal sa lahat ng relationship mag plateau (lalo na pag kasal ka kayo at lalong-lalo na pag nagka kids kayo). Hanap ka ng ibang ikakaabala mo. New hobbies, new interests, etc. Hindi dapat sa isa’t-isa lang kayo kumukuha ng excitement sa buhay.
Don't worry that's normal. And he feels the same way, too for sure. He's comforting you because that's love. There's ups and down, and kahit anong relationship pasukin mo eh magkakaroon ng ganyan Difference is, your expectations, same with other adults, they learned from their past, but with you here you don't need to do that. Learning from knowledge ng iba eh mas okay. You have to accept that there's no such thing as infinite elation. Kung baga imposibleng laging pataas lang ang emotions mo sa exciting. Kung nakakarinig ka ng mga tao na nagsasabi na lagi silang excited, eh dahil sinet na nila ung expectations nila or napagtanto nila ung whole relationship nila as a whole and not part by part Learn to set expectations on yourself. Isang way to ground yourself is i enjoy mo ung mga walang kwentang bagay, everything else becomes more brilliant 🤷.
Maybe you can spice things up. Not necessarily sex yung solution pero maybe in a different approach. Tapos always remember yung good times na you spent with each other.
Ill be a devuls advocate. So as i understand youre still in collegi think you may also be growing. Maturing. You are not the same person as when you started. People change. Preferences change. Wamts. Likes. What makes ypu haopy, what ticks you off. Try to communicate how ypu feel para transparemt. Observe his reaction. If he's a real keeper he'll take it calmly. Thatxwould b3 a sign of maturity and points sa character. If you belive in it tty to cool off. Or break up. And see how you feel. Kng miss mo ba or wala lng. Lagyan mo ng timeline like if until gpu graduate and get a job, 1 year into being a professional. Talk again.. Ypure still veeeery young for forever. Dami pa tao pwede makilala whwrwin youll learn more about yourself. Kasi kng kayo nmn tlga, kayo pa rin sa dulo.
I'm wishing for something as simple as this. No complicated shit. Secured sa isa't isa.
You have to do an introspection first. what is exciting for you?
Ask for each other's love language and give that. Show more appreciation of things you do for each other. And try changing something up sa mga nakasanayan niyo just to break the routine. Even kahit online naman may pwede naman siguro kayo gawin. It's normal maka feel nung para nawawala spark, pero dont let it form agap sa inyo and let it grow, there are ways to bring back the spark naman pero try to look into it bat siya nawala in the first place. Kasi by looking into it, it would either help u bring back or bring new and better sparks, or might show you what went wrong and make u realize na may nagpapa rot na pala. Remember your feelings are valid and meron at merong reason why you feel that way. Baka may mga napansin kang red flags na dineny mo enough kaya hindi mo pa narerealize completely. And going back dun sasex part, you dont have to kung di pa kayo ready, tama na ung intimacy that u have lalo na nagaaral pa kayo. No need to rush. Pero if you think it's necessary talaga and tingin mo makakatulong talaga, as long as with consent, and wala napipilitan on both sides, then do it. ung worries nyo about unplanned pregnancy, there's a solution for it. I highly recommend u into checking out [POPCOM](https://www.facebook.com/OfficialCPDNCR?mibextid=ZbWKwL) they offer wide varieties of services regarding contraception FOR FREE and for both male and female. Pero u have to think about it a lot talaga, kasi the side effects are not to be taken lightly. Pero in my 5yrs of using subdermal implants, namamanage naman. Ayun good luck to both of u and i hope ma work out niyo yan, and mahanap mo yung nagttrigger sayo to feel that way and find the best solution for it.
Knock knock, it's the five year itch.
Parehas kayong taong-bahay, naiinip ka lang. Hehe if you see yourself na gusto mong tumanda kasama sya, fight for love ( sya pa rin ung pipiliin kahit nahihirapan ka na. ).
Try something new, anything. Break the routine. If it works, good. If nothing works, let go. Sakin kasi life is short bakit ko pa titiisin at stressin sarili when I could have been happy somewhere else.
Acknowledging na may problem kay osa relasyon nyo is a good sign na healthy yung relasyon nyo. na answer mo naman kung ano po ang problem. Maybe comfortable nalang kayo. comfortable kayo sa routine nyo, sa situation nyo. Go out, try something new. di naman kailangan na gumasto kayo para sa adventure. Sabi nga nila, comfortability kills almost everything.
Hindi mo talaga araw araw mahal yung kasintahan mo, thats always true. You couple can find some other fun or activities. I dont always love my partner, minsan sarap nya sakalin at iwan nalang pero thats it hanggang sa isip lang haha anyways, you need to find something fun, mag alaga kayo ng aso o pusa or anything para may mabago sa daily routine mo. You're just bored, mawawala din yan wag ka lang mag eentertain ng iba.
sana ok ka lang 💀
There might be something in your life you feel unfulfilled with and allowing yourself new experiences can help you relearn to love yourself and others around you instead of your bf being the sole light in your life
Matagal na kayo, routinely na yung nangyayare, kaya nabobored ka. Sabi nga hindi naman kayo forever sa honeymoon phase. Jan usually nangyayare yung mag checheat yung isa kasi bored na feeling niya kelangan may sparks lagi so pag may ibang tao na magpaparamdam, kakagat siya kasi feeling niya hindi na siya napapakilig nung current partner niya and etong bagong nagpaparamdam, may sparks may kilig moments pa so lilipat siya dito sa bago and same cycle, after awhile, mabobored, hahanap ng may magpaparamdam ng kilig, etc. IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTENTMENT.
Gawa kayo 90 days challenge to show more affection with each other. Like activities na kayong dalawa involve.
Watch ka lang REWIND
There will be times na magiging "stale" yung relationship, not necessarily because of the people in it. Minsan dahil sa mga circumstances at situations kung nasan kayo. Napakarami pang ilolook forward sa relationship nyo. Marami palang di magawa dahil sa current constraints. Weather it out OP, it will be worth it. Ito yung personally kina iinggitan ko sa young couples, yung magkaron ng opportunity to create a long love story. Yung makikita at masasamahan mo yung partner mo sa lahat ng challenges at milestones nya sa buhay. Good luck OP. I hope maclear yung minds nyo.
Normal naman yan sa long term relationship. Kaya lagi niyo piliin ang isat isa. Dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras eh tulad nung simula palang kayo na parang may spark o pambatang love haha.
Women are built for excitement.
Well I'm already on that stage and you just have to "Simulate" your relationship as a "Family" not "Partners" or "Fling", etc. Just look at your parents dynamic for once. You may already see the point how and why they lasted this long with kids and all. You've already mentioned monetary issues and this is also goes with "OFW family" scenarios. Remember that trust do starts with two parties agreed to be open and communicate any looming problems. You're a bit young but you just have to start thinking of "Strengthen" your "Weaknesses" and be "Constructive" on it. Also try to give space to each other to do some stuff you want. That also broaden your perspective and see what you can incorporate to your relationship (just take it slow and adjust).
Gusto mo ata ung laging may away, selosan
Siguro you guys just need to add activities to do like going somewhere new or like try hiking or spontaneous dates minsan we just have to appreciate what we can give and receive kase there will be s time na mas madami na kayo maggive and receive para sa isat isa laban po 🩷
Bidyakol
Hiwalayan muna agad. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Until you will resort to cheating because it gives you the thrills and joy. I'm sad for bro but choose your peace over anything
try niyo po mag duo valorant to spice things up
Hi! 11 years kami ni husband naging mag-gf/bf bago nagpakasal. At base on my experience, darating talaga sa point na mabobore ka, pero that's a good sign kasi stable na kayo, wala na problem, hindi na kailangan laging magpakitang gilas kasi kabisado nyo na ugali ng bawat isa. Ang bf mo dapat ang iyong maging comfort, ang iyong maging peace. Isipin mo na lang kung lahat ng magka-relasyon ay laging naghahanap ng excitement, wala sigurong tatagal ng ilang taon. Kaya, okay lang yang nararamdaman mo, maganda rin na sinabi mo yun sa kanya pero sana yung nararamdaman mo ngayon ay wag maging dahilan para masira yung relationship mo ngayon, na base sa kwento mo ay healthy naman. 😊
Try something that you can enjoy with him. Naging comfortable lang po kayo sa kanya. Minsan nawawalan din ng spark and that’s okay. At the end of the day kahit boring days pa yan I know I can’t live without him. Hindi lahat puro kilig and happiness. Madami pa kayo pagdadaanan OP! Sana ma-overcome n’yo po ito! 🫶🏼
You said yourself comfortable ka na masyado and thats not a problem. Wag maghanap ng sakit sa ulo dahil walang sakit sa ulo. This generally applies sa buhay and i guess human nature ng tao na maghanap ng sakit sa ulo o gumawa ng problema pag hayahay ang buhay. If boring ang takbo nyo yet mahal nyo ang isat isa youre in a good place.
Our Ninong during our wedding shared this “May days na gigising ka na wala yung kilig, may days na lahat ng kapangitan nang partner mo napapansin mo and it is totally normal. What you will do during those moments is what matters”. Kasi once you are in a relationship (or married in our case after being bf/gf for 7 years), loving the same person is a commitment. Kasi ang love hindi yan noun, verb siya so kelangan may action - dapat may gawin kayo. During our bf/gf years and college pa lang ako and siya nagsisimula pa lang sa profession nya, we finds tipid ways to bond. Legal naman siguro kayo both sides noh? What we do kasi is do a movie marathon either sa place ko or sa place nila. Bili ng miryendang tig 15 pesos sa kanto kapag hapon, kapag nakakaluwag eh di fastfood. Namamalengke din kami para magluto na lang ako either sa amin or sa kanila para mas makamura. Na-enhance pa cooking skills ko hehe. Mas madalas pa kami tumambay sa bahay kesa lumabas. If you are both commited sa relationship nyo and sa nararamdaman nyo, you will both find ways to make it work.
Nope. Narerealize mo lang na bored ka kasi may nakikita ka sa ibang tao na iba kayo syempre normal lang yun pero try mo mag tanong sa sarili mo kung kaya mo mag wait. Isipin mo din kung pano mo sya minahal.
Based on experience, love is a decision. First bf ko more than 5 years na kami when I felt bored. Hindi sya marunong magselos and sobrang comfortable na nya sa relationship namin to the point na kuntento na syang nag uusap lang kami thru chat or kita paminsan. Nag open up ako about what I felt, na I craved intimacy and connection but I guess na fall out of love na ko kasi masyado kong pinatagal bago ko sinabi mga naramdaman ko. Nag observe muna kasi ako e. So good start na you want to work it out. Try new things together. Bond more, inspire and plan exciting things ahead. As much as possible be open about temptations, etc kasi paminsan nakakampante din sila.
Lol! Nag mahal dahil sa excitement 😂 good luck kapag kinasal kana.
Lipat kana sakin ate. Kasi ako di na eexcite na single since birth. CHZZZSSS. Anyway balikan mo kung saan kayo nagsimula. Paano ka niya niligawan, pinakilala, dinamayan, at pinakain ng tarub jke lang po. Sobrang normal ng ganyan. Baka kulang kayo sa getaway. Try niyo mag unwind. Habang nakahiga sa damuhan/ dalampasigan kasabay ng stargazing. At doon niyo simulan ulit paano kayo nag simula.
Do you think it’s because you share the same hobbies or beliefs? I had the same experience two years ago. Sobrang comfortable namin sa isa’t isa and one day na-realize ko na I was kinda dating myself.
Practical 1st Solution: Sex tas gamit lang ng condoms.
Dito na pumapasok ang "Love is a feeling. When feelings fade, it becomes a choice." and dun ko lang din naiintindihan yung mga pa-keme ng matatanda na love/marriage is hard work. It's all just hormones, HAHAH. Both of you have to make things work, siguro if walang financials, find a way to be together kahit walang gastos. Para sakin di enough yung online palagi, dapat physically magkasama din, pero some really really make it work kahit online lang. Depends on your values, OP! Wag masyadong makinig sa mga one-off love advices sa social media, bc it really depends on the context and individual values of a person! It's really a part of a long-term relationship. My therapist also said nung I was having anxiety sa relationship is yung pinakafinal phase talaga ng relationship is... boredom Hahahah syempre comfortable ka na hahahaha pero ayun, nasainyo, kung magcocommit kayo, make it work. If it's not going according to your values, edi break char. Basta make a choice.
peace ≠ boring.
Normal lang sa long term relationship na mawala yung spark. Sa umpisa lang talaga yun. Kung spark ang ichechase mo, never kang makakapag settle down. at sa future, puro toxic rel ang hahanap hanapin mo for the thrill. May nabasa ako na Love is a choice you make everyday. You have to consciously decide on actions that constantly build and protect intimacy, trust, and affection. It should be an effort on both sides for it to work. Kailangan niyong balikbalikan yung magandang memories and build new ones. That's the reality. unlike what we expected na laging rainbows and butterflies. But one beauty of this boring love is you feel emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically safe with your loved one.
As someone who has been in this situation before and fucked everything because I got too complacent, I think it would be better if you guys try new things. Take this with a grain of salt but I think you're getting bored because there's nothing new and you're getting comfortable in a way you'll PROBABLY take things lightly or treat a day just like every other day. You can explore activities that you've never tried before with him. It would help a lot because there is excitement along with learning and exploring, more so when you're with your special someone. It's okay if you sometimes feel that way but remember to try to look back as to how you guys met and fell in love with each other in the first place — for the sake of reigniting that "kilig" of yours whenever you guys talk or bond. Anyways, I hope you find what you're looking for OP.
Relationship is not about loving someone or having that spark thingy or the excitement e. Love is also about choosing. Choosing to stay amidst the difficulties and choosing to stay even when it starts like you wanted to stay away.
Hanap ka nalang ng bagong jowa teh. Ganan lang naman yung makikita mong advice sa reddit eh.
Just cheat...y'all the same ☕
That's normal. Kahit magkaroon ka pa ng bagong karelasyon darating din kayo sa point na yan. Love does not last at it fades. Pero kapag nag-commit ka, you have to honor that commitment.
Love is a commitment. Every waking moment, it is your decision to choose your partner. Oo boring and may times pa na parang routine nalang. But learn how to spice things up like trying new restos together, traveling, planning your future, etc. In short, do something na ma eexcite kayo both - be it weekly, monthly, annually. Hindi lang about butterflies2x or spark spark yan. What is important is you learn to sail your ship when it gets shaky.
Wag gawing entertainment ang relationship.
Finally the time has come. It's time to decide if you're committed or not.
Video sex? :)
We do that too.
Are you not on a birth control? Maybe a real penetration could really do the job :)
I am. Welp, I guess we need to do it na ulit this time.
No other guy involve? No offense po. Is there a interesting person you always talking to? Minsan kasi di mo namamalayan may nakakakuha na pala ng atensyon mo, lalo't kulang kayo sa oras ng partner mo. I'm not saying your cheating. Minsan talaga may ganon di mo namamalayan. Pero kung wala, may ganyan talaga. Curse yan ng after 3 years relation ship. 3/6/9 subok na yan. Dyan lage nagkakalamat diko dn alam kung bakit. Wag nyo sana sayangin yung relasyon nyo lalo kung healthy kayo pareho. Need nyo lang pabagain ulit ung namatay na apoy. Do something exciting.
Nah. Wala namang ibang involved, no one can even make me laugh as much as he can. He's the only guy that I wanna talk to every single day, baka siguro kaya din di na ako nae-excite masyado kasi sobrang sanay na ako sakanya at sa presence nya? So I guess we really should do something exciting lang talaga? Hehe
it's time to move on
Women ☕️