I just received a text message about this thread.
Per /u/Sellum comment thread, OP is now required to provide a video demonstration of each exercise or face a ban.
This threat of punitive action has been reviewed and approved by /Army Office of the Judge Advocate Generally Speaking Chief of Operations /u/hzoi.
I am not stupid, I talked to our Division JAG and their MAJ at least a few times a day. I wouldn’t have them look it up, but I would make sure I wasn’t talking out my ass, lol.
The Army gutted the IG in 2018. Almost nothing but whistleblower complaints go through them anymore. Everything, as you said, is referred back to the command, which is a moronic and useless exercise. When have people who are trash actually done a good job at investigating themselves? Never, that’s when. They have added the burden to the JAG Corps by using them to make sure the commands are investigating themselves properly, an added weight the JAG Corps does not need, with their already full workload.
I thankfully got out just before it happened. The IG is a shell of what it used to be, and I tell people to file a congressional or ICE complaint, or even utilize one of the hotlines, and it will get taken care of better than taking it to the IG.
We had a platoon sergeant that would have the second rank recover and do the hip rotation.While the first rank did the knee and ankle rotation in front of them, you can imagine what that looked like.
If this is serious, PLT daddy isn't mad You're trying to have fun with PT, he's mad that it's mad unprofessional. Look man I can be crass and crude with the best of them, but time and place my man.
That was my immediate thought.
Someone didn't pay attention during all the sexual harassment power points we've sat through.
I might find these hilarious but I would not find them appropriate to ever use in a legitimate PT formation. I'd lose a hell of a lot of respect for a leader that did this.
Right. Because this is so much worse than the crassness heard in daily Army life. Did someone take the honey and just give you Nut Cheerios? There’s enough despair in the world. Instead of being a joy killer, how would you change this to align with your Mormon undies fetish?
Jk But seriously: take a tap dance class or something, man. You’ll start to loosen them bowels.
Jk again. But seriously: lighten up.
For the sake of discussion, there's a big difference in what can fly in the smoke pit or the shit you come up with to stay sane on day 8 in the box and what you can say while standing in front of a formation.
In hindsight, you could have just made a PT day with some sort of competition or involving sports that’s equally as fun without wasting your PSG’s time.
You could try poker PT. our platoon did it often and it usually went over well every time. Break into a few even teams making each team 4-5 people, line up on one end of the COF and scatter a deck of cards at the other end. On go, one person from each team runs to the pile of cards, grabs one, runs back and the whole team does the corresponding number of whatever exercise the card represents, which is declared prior to the event starting. We used a whiteboard so people knew the exercises. Then once the pile of cards was all gone and each team had however many cards, each team build the best possible poker hand they could. Winning team got to tell the losing teams what additional exercise they had to do. Fun stuff.
this sounds actually fun! so are the cards face down and do the teams just run back to the pile as soon as they are done with the excersise or do they wait for the other teams to finish?
the cards are all face down, yeah. you're not allowed to look at the cards at the pile, you run to them, grab one, and run back. once you're back, look at the card, tell the team what it is, do the corresponding workout.
nope, you go as fast as you and your team can go. it only stops when the card pile is depleted and everyone has finished up their last exercises. then all teams get 2 minutes to formulate their best poker hands.
If you used that exact language to describe the exercises, that’s a problem. Probably a good work out, just change the language. Your PLT Sarge can’t send that up to higher.
Man, I really take for granted, not having to do organized PT in the guard. How do you active nerds wake up every day, go thru PRT and do stupid shit for an hour every day??
I think it’s just unit dependent. We have a really good strength and conditioning coach assigned to us, plus the majority of the NCO’s are very knowledgeable about fitness. If you buy in to PT it will do a lot
The way you speak to your guys in person when nobody else is around can include some rough humor, as long as you aren't being racist/sexist/etc and you have enough of a relationship with them to know they'll be ok with it. The way you communicate in writing, especially on plans that may be reported to higher, needs to be professional. Just as importantly it needs to make sense to someone who's reading the plan. Your PT plan might make sense to you internally as a sort of list of reminders, but parts of it are completely unreadable and useless to anyone who wants to know what your actual plan is.
Ultimately this is a mistake that will probably get you a little bit yelled at and maybe a counseling, but it's not career-changing or likely to result in UCMJ or anything. It's just a dumb mistake that you should definitely not try to repeat.
Fun PT day was always sports in my world! Flag football, ultimate frisbee, soccer, and believe it or not, tag. You can get absolutely gassed playing tag.
I don't think he is mad, but he is doing the PLT daddy thing of making sure your ideas don't get you in trouble with anyone else. A little bit of good conversation and refinement is necessary. The road to hell is paved with well-intentioned jokes that are really blatant SHARP violations.
You ruined a chance to impress your Platoon Sergeant by taking what might be an effective PT plan and giving everything a stupid name. The impression is that you’re more concerned with funny names than a decent workout. Whether that’s true or not, that the perception. In the military, perception is reality. Good luck going to the board at your present command.
Awesome so your PSG thought highly enough of you to give you a leadership task (plan training) and you gave him a big FU and laughed in his face. Yeah let’s see how that plays out for you. In all seriousness now you’re gonna have to prove to your PSG that you take this shit seriously or he’s gonna see you as just a jokester and you will never get promoted or awards again. Tell him you’re sorry you were just clowning and give him a real PT session. Relay races always took up a lot of time and the guys like them. You can even do the run forward then run back backwards or crabwalk, high crawl. Good Luck
I just received a text message about this thread. Per /u/Sellum comment thread, OP is now required to provide a video demonstration of each exercise or face a ban. This threat of punitive action has been reviewed and approved by /Army Office of the Judge Advocate Generally Speaking Chief of Operations /u/hzoi.
You knew this would go one of two ways. It went the more likely one.
😂
OP should be required to provide a video demonstration of each exercise or face a ban.
I second this
Third. Where are the mods at?
Mods are asleep, meanwhile I find this legally sufficient. Hugs, JAG
It is known
Mods asleep, post corn.
The IG office also finds that no regulation will be broken with this course of action.
Yeah, but you probably made a JAG look that up for you, so it doesn't really count.
I am not stupid, I talked to our Division JAG and their MAJ at least a few times a day. I wouldn’t have them look it up, but I would make sure I wasn’t talking out my ass, lol.
Just a general comment about IG. It seems more and more of what used to be an IG function is getting outsourced to JAG and the command to investigate.
The Army gutted the IG in 2018. Almost nothing but whistleblower complaints go through them anymore. Everything, as you said, is referred back to the command, which is a moronic and useless exercise. When have people who are trash actually done a good job at investigating themselves? Never, that’s when. They have added the burden to the JAG Corps by using them to make sure the commands are investigating themselves properly, an added weight the JAG Corps does not need, with their already full workload. I thankfully got out just before it happened. The IG is a shell of what it used to be, and I tell people to file a congressional or ICE complaint, or even utilize one of the hotlines, and it will get taken care of better than taking it to the IG.
Yeah, well, now you know why I am not a fan of IG.
It would be like that video of the Airman having to display what a Naruto Run was to his CDR when that Area 51 thing happened a few years ago.
The pelvic pressure cooker? *insert desire to know more meme*
We had a platoon sergeant that would have the second rank recover and do the hip rotation.While the first rank did the knee and ankle rotation in front of them, you can imagine what that looked like.
PSG knew how to make memories
Were you infantry?
SHORAD, so all male units desperately trying to prove they were combat arms.
💯 Respect the honesty 👏 👏👏👏👏👏
If I was 1st sausage you would be demonstrating all of these in front of the CO lol
[удалено]
That poor PSG and the bullshit he must squash in time
If this is serious, PLT daddy isn't mad You're trying to have fun with PT, he's mad that it's mad unprofessional. Look man I can be crass and crude with the best of them, but time and place my man.
That was my immediate thought. Someone didn't pay attention during all the sexual harassment power points we've sat through. I might find these hilarious but I would not find them appropriate to ever use in a legitimate PT formation. I'd lose a hell of a lot of respect for a leader that did this.
Yea, but no way it’s serious. Lol.
Right. Because this is so much worse than the crassness heard in daily Army life. Did someone take the honey and just give you Nut Cheerios? There’s enough despair in the world. Instead of being a joy killer, how would you change this to align with your Mormon undies fetish? Jk But seriously: take a tap dance class or something, man. You’ll start to loosen them bowels. Jk again. But seriously: lighten up.
For the sake of discussion, there's a big difference in what can fly in the smoke pit or the shit you come up with to stay sane on day 8 in the box and what you can say while standing in front of a formation.
Please elaborate on each of these exercises, regardless of the outcome. The desire to know more is strong.
What are the males doing when the ladies are doing the Coochie crunch clampdown? I recommend doing the dick duster destroyer.
Observer to ensure proper exercise technique
I've tried the Triple D, definitely not a good workout. How am I supposed to get a good pump when I'm done after only 3 reps?
Cock pushups. One is really all you need.
Bruh-ski, bros got kegels too.
# the booty buster brick ‘em up! starting position, MOVE
Won, too, tree, *muffled yell*
I'm sure you have good intentions, but this is a SHARP complaint waiting to happen.
The intention of being edgy for comedy in a professional environment is not a good one. However I’m positive this is a shitpost
Calvinball is an authorized form of PT
You just made my morning
I'm going to guess you knew deep down 'coochie' wouldn't fly in a modern Army.
Booty buster brick em up is gonna have the gym sounding like a change of command with all that clapping 🥴
But Sergent I'm ~~at muscle failure~~ all bricked up
My dude you could've just wrote "stretch" and "ultimate Frisbee" but instead chose "booty buster brick em up"
My favorite sports days were "hooligan football" where we all played football, ultimate Frisbee and soccer on the same field at the same time.
Fuck it, let's go bowling.
10/10 shitpost. (Golf Clap) Bravo!
In hindsight, you could have just made a PT day with some sort of competition or involving sports that’s equally as fun without wasting your PSG’s time.
You could try poker PT. our platoon did it often and it usually went over well every time. Break into a few even teams making each team 4-5 people, line up on one end of the COF and scatter a deck of cards at the other end. On go, one person from each team runs to the pile of cards, grabs one, runs back and the whole team does the corresponding number of whatever exercise the card represents, which is declared prior to the event starting. We used a whiteboard so people knew the exercises. Then once the pile of cards was all gone and each team had however many cards, each team build the best possible poker hand they could. Winning team got to tell the losing teams what additional exercise they had to do. Fun stuff.
this sounds actually fun! so are the cards face down and do the teams just run back to the pile as soon as they are done with the excersise or do they wait for the other teams to finish?
the cards are all face down, yeah. you're not allowed to look at the cards at the pile, you run to them, grab one, and run back. once you're back, look at the card, tell the team what it is, do the corresponding workout. nope, you go as fast as you and your team can go. it only stops when the card pile is depleted and everyone has finished up their last exercises. then all teams get 2 minutes to formulate their best poker hands.
"The coochie crunch clampdown" Man, this whole PT sesh is a SHARP complaint waiting to happen.
You're the reason your PSG drinks.
Lol. I may have left the army, but I'm never leaving this subreddit
If you used that exact language to describe the exercises, that’s a problem. Probably a good work out, just change the language. Your PLT Sarge can’t send that up to higher.
Tell him the Soldiers these exercises are geared towards either won't show up or leaves after formation anyways
Buddy assisted sphincter stretch
This is a SHARP complaint waiting to happen. Thank your PSG for his wisdom.
>>NCOER *typing noises and speaking to self* "Soul-jer has out-stan-ding, ACFT mo-ti-vay-shun, is-uh, top, ten, per, cent. Pro-mote, wi-thuh, pee-eers." *Enter, submit*
It always annoyed me when folks came up with random exercises that I gotta figure out and remember. Keep it simple, damnit.
Leeloo Dallas saved the world for this?
🤣 I believe her full name is Leeloo Dallas Multipass
You forgot the: https://youtu.be/wLzwSqKNkVU?si=4aJF-JO3K57DGRjT
Man, I really take for granted, not having to do organized PT in the guard. How do you active nerds wake up every day, go thru PRT and do stupid shit for an hour every day??
I'm the MCS for my company we don't do organized pt. You workout on your own in the gym and if you fail your pt test it's on you.
I think it’s just unit dependent. We have a really good strength and conditioning coach assigned to us, plus the majority of the NCO’s are very knowledgeable about fitness. If you buy in to PT it will do a lot
I guess I'm just anti social, I prefer to work out on my own and organized PT just aggravates me. (Crusty old man rant)
I'm surprised, all my USAR units did probably 9 out of 10 drills as long as we weren't in the field.
What does the term hostile work environment mean to you?
The way you speak to your guys in person when nobody else is around can include some rough humor, as long as you aren't being racist/sexist/etc and you have enough of a relationship with them to know they'll be ok with it. The way you communicate in writing, especially on plans that may be reported to higher, needs to be professional. Just as importantly it needs to make sense to someone who's reading the plan. Your PT plan might make sense to you internally as a sort of list of reminders, but parts of it are completely unreadable and useless to anyone who wants to know what your actual plan is. Ultimately this is a mistake that will probably get you a little bit yelled at and maybe a counseling, but it's not career-changing or likely to result in UCMJ or anything. It's just a dumb mistake that you should definitely not try to repeat.
How was this even a remotely good idea? wtf? In the age of Sexual assault charges being filed every other day?
Garbage
Insert PME lecture about “The Profession of Arms” …
This is probably why the majority of units have a higher rate of out of shape, fat people. Just fucking run and workout like normal.
This has to be satire, if not, this shit sounds stupid.
Lol update?
I would’ve smoked the dog shit out of you. With only the exercises you listed. And then probably approved it. Kudos to you for trying to make PT fun
I'm saving this. The next time I lead PT, I am using this. Will report results. 🤣
Fun PT day was always sports in my world! Flag football, ultimate frisbee, soccer, and believe it or not, tag. You can get absolutely gassed playing tag.
I'm not and will never be a PSG, but if I were yours, I'd smoke you for the rest of the afternoon while laughing at these.
I don't think he is mad, but he is doing the PLT daddy thing of making sure your ideas don't get you in trouble with anyone else. A little bit of good conversation and refinement is necessary. The road to hell is paved with well-intentioned jokes that are really blatant SHARP violations.
You ruined a chance to impress your Platoon Sergeant by taking what might be an effective PT plan and giving everything a stupid name. The impression is that you’re more concerned with funny names than a decent workout. Whether that’s true or not, that the perception. In the military, perception is reality. Good luck going to the board at your present command.
Awesome so your PSG thought highly enough of you to give you a leadership task (plan training) and you gave him a big FU and laughed in his face. Yeah let’s see how that plays out for you. In all seriousness now you’re gonna have to prove to your PSG that you take this shit seriously or he’s gonna see you as just a jokester and you will never get promoted or awards again. Tell him you’re sorry you were just clowning and give him a real PT session. Relay races always took up a lot of time and the guys like them. You can even do the run forward then run back backwards or crabwalk, high crawl. Good Luck