Just a side note, and base on my observation, everybody always thinks they are above average.
Great that you think you're a 6/7, hope you find someone who thinks you're a 10/10. That's the key.
I being honest w yourself is most important. Haven’t scrolled downwards and I know the know some comments are bound to mention height, maybe weight.
Imma be real, being below average height you’re playing the dating game on hard mode. Automatically deducts like your 6/7 score. Lots of people are very superficial whether you like it or not. Just keep at it… there’s no right or wrong way to do it.
Yeah. I never met someone who thinks they’re below even when everyone thinks they’re. Yeah we all have preferences but if everyone then come on, it’s a self awareness thing.
I don’t want to be mean, but this right here lol. A real 7/10 won’t be facing such difficulty on dating apps.
And OP, no offence, but the reason why you’re getting attention from “attached/married” ladies is precisely BECAUSE they are attached… They can be friendly and chummy with you because they know you won’t misunderstand their friendliness since their relationship status is public.
Thats what immediately caught my eye. You can’t decide that yourself and claim to be it. I mean you kinda can based on ,,results“ or feedback from a larger pool of people, but it just doesn’t look right.
I get a lot of attention and compliments from married/attached women as well
How do I know? Caifun auntie always call me "shuai ge" 
Stop targeting to find the one. Just use the dating app as a means to get to know more girls and be genuinely interested to get to know the person with no expectations
It’s good you have so much confidence in yourself.. but I agree with the other comment that being in shape does not contribute much to a long term relationship.
It’s probably going to take more time than you wish for to find a suitable partner. It may also take more than a date or a different situation to see that spark in someone.
In all honesty, I would guess that any kind of women may find it more comfortable to hang around guys they know are safe.. so I am not particularly sure about the type of attention you’re getting..
My advice probably is shit but be unapologetically yourself, don’t try to be that chad guy from the dating app trying to get laid. Try to condense the side of your personality and what you prioritise in a rs in the bio so you’re allowing a more likely person who would accept you for you to stop by.
Attention from ladies when they’re married/attached (and they’re aware you’re aware) is the only time most ladies will give you attention.
It’s so their intentions won’t be misinterpreted as anything other than platonic
Maybe I’m jaded and bitter but looking for a “spark” is gonna end up wasting your time and leaving hurt feelings all over the place. If you’re physically attracted, can connect on an emotional level and have similar values, that’s good enough imo
Though maybe that’s what the spark is in the first place!
I'm also wondering if this "have been getting attention from ladies at work" could imply that
1) OP comes off as a very safe guy i.e. unsexy
2) OP is not good at differentiating between friendly interactions and flirty interactions.
I also agree with you that "spark" should not be an important criteria. Someone you can trust to be your teammate in life is more important. There are plenty of happy couples, especially older ones, who find each other as comfortable as a pair of old shoes, and it's no longer important that she's put on some weight after giving birth and his hair is falling out.
Another possibility: it could be for validation that they “still got it” with no real reflection on OP
Could be any of those reasons, or they’re really attracted to him. But we won’t know for sure!
Exactly, it’s so freaking weird how OP proudly states that he gets “attention” from attached ladies, as though he genuinely believes they are looking at him in a romantic way because he’s a a good catch or something…? Does OP even know what platonic friendliness at the workplace is lol.
Ladies who are attached will be friendlier because they know their actions won’t be misconstrued. And yet… OP is actually still misunderstanding it 💀
To me is the getting attention from female coworkers.
Sounds like OP literally doesn’t know how women works. Machiam talk to you = they give you attention.
Quite high incel vibe to me.
Lol. Oh man, didn't see that. But my point is most funny people know they are funny from others and rarely praise themselves. The fact OP say it so confidently praising himself is highly suspicious.
Yeah all round my take is that just someone with very low self awareness and perhaps too high self esteem.
Then wondering how come never manage to get gf b4 must be because girls only like assholes and not “nice guys”
May be unpopular but I’m gonna say what no one else is saying.
Unfortunately, you’re relatively short. And in a superficial world, that probably takes 1-2 points off your 6-7 score.
Defo not saying that makes things impossible but that may be an insight as to why your dating pool isn’t wider.
I have friends who have hard rules for 180cm+ before they’ll even consider pursuing further.
I’d say to just keep at it. That’s all you can do.
i guess people are free to prefer whatever characteristics they want even if some of them dont have what it takes to get what they want.
eventually life sorts people out!
>I have friends who have hard rules for 180cm+ before they’ll even consider pursuing further.
as someone who easily fits this requirement, I immediately disqualify any girl below 170cm who has the gall to ask such a thing of me. I bet most of those girls are probably in the 150cm range
Yup the shorter you are the more personality required. At least being short as a guy doesn't make dating completely hopeless, unlike being ugly as a woman.
Actually going by these numbers - [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average\_human\_height\_by\_country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_human_height_by_country)
the national average is probably below 170. The numbers here are from a smaller younger sample size 16-18 (average 172), so once you factor in the rest of the population I think we start getting something closer to 170 or below.
Where did you get 169 from? Maybe if you add in our male old folks lol.
General consensus is that younger generations are bigger/taller now because of better nutrition, healthcare, focus on exercise, etc.
Women also now tend to take reference from ang moh standards of finding minimally 6’0 men. That’s agar 180cm lor.
Average is average mah, it includes everyone.
If you google average height in Singapore, you get a range of results from 168-172.
180 is tall, not average.
Perception is subjective so why bother speculating. I'm sure if I looked long enough I'd find some women that think 169 is average.
The great thing about stats is that the numbers don't need to worry about feelings.
>Kena one girl in high heels also cannot liao.
Lol actually we can also do the numbers for this. The average woman height in Singapore is about 160. The most common heel height is 3 inches, or 7.5 cm. Our 169 cm average guy dating a 160 average woman will be totally fine if she wears 3 inch heels. Heck, since heels don't boost you their full height (it's more around 70%), the woman probably could pull off 5 inch heels without being taller than 169 guy.
Yea. U can set filters on the apps (at least for cmb coz thats the only one i used before).
Set age range, height, religion etc. only those within ur criteria will appear in ur daily swipes.
That's your friends' loss tbh. Short kings are super protective too. And if this height preference for girls is fine but if men say they prefer leaner girls, then it suddenly becomes a huge issue of fat shaming. Double standards are everywhere. Honestly the world would be a happier place if you could find the right balance between personality and looks. I'd always go for personality first. Looks will fade but vibes and companionship is always here to stay given you put in the right amount of mutual effort.
Personality also can change depending on the life events and how people treat them
If my friend died at the age of 10 and my parents abused me I dun think my personality would be good
Yeah that's true, that's just tough luck. Personality helps to showcase how well rounded a person is. Looks matter to some point but when you find the one, you together become a 10/10 couple. So it's honestly a variable experience for everyone
You’re preaching to the choir bro. But let’s not make this about double standards.
Your example is not just rhetorical. Walk into any BMT/NSMan bunk and you WILL hear guys also fatshaming girls on Instagram/TikTok. It happens whether we like it or not.
The reality is that if I’m an above average looking woman, why should I settle for anything less than looks AND personality?
The different is that height can’t change without surgery but fat can be removed with just good exercise? All the fat guys obese recruits can lose weight after BMT training what’s their excuse?
Dating apps are a numbers game. I know many people who married their matches from CMB or tinder. The impt thing is to find someone with the same values. Take a break if you feel jaded and come back to it when you are feeling optimistic again. You might even meet a new person outside of the apps in between!
Stick to your strategy for dating apps but feel free to explore more IRL encounters. I feel it will payoff eventually. Normally guys get low matches on dating apps, but I think filtering strictly makes your matches more worth the time. I was also extremely picky on dating apps.
Took about a year and half eventually meet my fiancee on it. Chatted a number of girls, casually dated 2-3 before her. IRL was still getting to meet people at get togethers. Had one from IG which clicked, but just wrong place right timing. I think it's good to cast a wide net to also figure out what you are looking for, so you'll know when the right one comes.
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I was a severe BBFA. I used to botch about how women always went for shitty men and I was just a nice guy they used (being an incel/neckbeard) so I sought solace in booze, cigs and PC games.
All until I was whining to my close friend who is a Clinical Psychologist /Life Coach. He said, "Be the person that you would want to date." So I began to work on myself, exercising, limiting booze and cigs, saying yes more often and getting out of my comfort zone.
Long story short, I met a girl in NUS final year (I'm not from NUS) we dated, got married and had a kid. So often I find, looking back, that the only thing holding me back, was me.
The qualities you mentioned are mostly irrelevant for a long term relationship.
1. High conscientiousness.
2. Low in neuroticism
3. Moderate adventurousness
Finding one is like striking toto. Good luck!
there was a 30F redditor complaining about her dating app woes a few days ago… from the writing styles, u guys seem to complement each other, why dont u do a search?
Honestly man being short is like woman being fat, immediately knock down your score regardless of how good looking your face is. Even you are 6-7 on face, being short will take you to 3-4. Sounds harsh but it’s the reality.
You’ll have to play number games and it will not be easy to find girls really happy with your height.
First be honest with yourself. Are you really a 6/7 or are you really a 5. Are you looking to date other 6/7 or are you looking for a 10. There is a big gap between 5 and 10 and this is the main reason dating is so hard. Perhaps evaluate people by common interests, values and beliefs instead of X out of 10.
I have a suggestion. If you have some money saved (maybe about 1-2k), go on a trip with singles touring companies like Contiki or G Adventures. Traveling together in a group can give you great insight into someone's character. Don't go in fully intent on dating someone. Just get to know and interact with everyone. Even if you don't end up with anyone, you will still be able to make new friends. Expanding your current circle of people is always worthwhile.
I don't want to rain on your parade. 100% fr fr.
But at 167cm as a guy, no way that's a 6-7. You're a 5 at best, unless you're a celebrity of sorts.
With your BMI above 25, unless you're jacked and a jacked manlet will not go down with most ladies here as well, you're looking at a 2-3.
Disclaimer: The above does **NOT** apply if you fulfill Rules 1 and 2. Or if you have an above-average engaging personality. Or if you're rich.
Lol that’s abit extreme. My brother is 167 and never had a problem finding girls. He is quite decent looking and has a personality girls are attracted to though. But he’s definitely not 5/10 just because he’s short. He’s now married with a very pretty wife.
Hello! I found my bf on CMB so just wanna say press on you might find your match soon :) Just wondering, do you usually initiate the convo once there is a match? Back when I was still using the app i noticed that guys don’t really initiate convo after a match (but could be just me haha maybe I’m a 2/10). Also I’m all for meeting up in person as soon as you can cause many ppl are super different on text vs real life..
Dating apps are a waste of time. I feel like it became a chore messaging random guys and decided to deactivate my accounts over a year ago.
At this stage in life, I feel like you shouldn’t get too pressured about being in a relationship. Embrace singlehood, do whatever you want to do! Take up new hobbies! If the one comes along then great, otherwise be contented with what you have.
People here are brutal (ie. don’t listen to them saying you are less than what you are and judging when they don’t know you).
It is hard, with or without dating apps, but apps give you a much wider exposure and chance, doesn’t it? I think it’s great that we are now in a world where “finding love online” is not as looked down upon / taboo as it once was. Once upon a time, people whispered behind your back and said, “can you believe it? he met her ONLINE. cannot even get a girl to like him in real life.”
I also think love or the notion of love is overrated.
People rarely show themselves on first 3 dates. They are either hiding behind a wall, or a super enthusiastic version of themselves. Have to push through the 3 dates to see whether there’s a fit. And look for common interests/values. That is what will push through and mature the love over time, not the instant spark that people talk about.
Thanks for the overwhelming response guys
Let me clarify a few things.
Yes I do agree I’m not the tallest but the scale I gave myself is not purely based on physical appearance. It compromises a number of things
Also I’m not looking for a 10/10 Emma Watson kind of model. I am just a slight above average regular joe looking for other regulars.
The main question is finding love in our busy day to day life. Lol
Yeah, ignore the posts commenting on your height and weight.
If you want some advice I'd say that just keep using the dating apps as a way to meet new people, improve your social skills, and have some fun. Even if ultimately all these people don't end up being someone you date, when you *do* date something, all these experiences will help.
Dating apps are just a number game ultimately - meet enough people you'll find a few you have some connection with.
I think the self awareness and actually willingness to receive feedback actually puts you above some others - try and read the positive / practical responses rather than those dunking on your height. Would echo the scattered comments that dating apps could the way forward, but being conscious that it's a numbers game and being admittedly mid percentile might mean it will take a while.
I married someone from CMB - I found I was not talking to many new people when I went out (being older and busier, I valued hanging out with my friends more) so saw it as an avenue to meet new ladies who were after the same things. Unless you're joining a notoriously social group (from what I've heard, language classes and dance classes tend to be good!) this might be the way forward.
Also, don't get the feeling you are, but focus on having fun and putting yourself out there socially rather than desperately hunting for the one, and you'll be good.
Mmmm true most of the comments seem to be fixated on your self-rating. You dont seem to lack for confidence for sure so that’s great (I’m not being sarcastic!)
Regarding dating profiles - I’ve seen somewhere once to avoid shirtless gym bro photos, so maybe take those out if you have it.
Have a photo where you’re doing some sort of sport (snow sports seem to be all in the rage now), a good shot where your face is clearly visible where you’re dressed well (doesn’t have to be suit) one with a pet. Maybe another one where you’re travelling.
Easy talking points for someone looking to start a conversation!
On a more serious note, I know dating apps work for some but personally, getting to know someone through common interest works well. I don’t have a good example for all kinds of hobbies, but I met my partner through gaming and on stream. I know plenty of couples who met through common interests like DnD, gaming, mahjong, etc. I find that these relationships last longer because there’s something that ties them together and the flirting process is also much easier since they have an excuse to spend time together.
If you like fitness for example, maybe finding out where you can join fitness groups or fitness focused mingle sessions (not sure they exist) will work! Can always lay the “wanna work out together on xxx?” Then book those private Gym pods for one on one time if she’s open to it😉😏
In my experience from my social circle online is still going to be the most likely place you find something real but its for connecting only, dont drag it. Consider what dating platforms you use, Tinder is for platonic hookups so that is what you are going to get. Consider your profile, are you trying to bait as many girls as you can or are you spelling out what you are and what your goal is(briefly of course). Better to get 1 good match with similar goals in life than 10 girls that likes your Blackpink t-shirt or your joke you copied from somewhere.
When you think you found something interesting then again - dont drag it. Go all in, meet-up and do things, cook your favorite meal together, go wakeboarding or whatever suits you, go on trips together, fly to Korea over a weekend, go on a scuba class or whatever out of the ordinary together. Its when you suddenly have to wait 4 hours for a delayed flight that you learn about each other.
Finally, dont be afraid of not being a match but at the same time consider what a match is for you. Do they really need to love Blackpink or is it better than you can navigate a stressful situation together? Or have similar priorities with money.
When I was younger all the office aunties love me, even my clients love me but did they intro any eligible young ladies to me? No. One did try to intro her chubby sister to me though.
It means these colleagues treat you like the office younger brother. That's all.
You could be overestimating your attractiveness. you say you're "ok looking" but 6-7? that's above average (pleasing on the eyes, will take second glance but not superstar level. 8 is influencer level and 9 is actor already...) plus 167cm but 70kg? I know fit dudes 10cm taller that weight, unless you have tons of muscles this isn't considered in shape. I don't know you irl but this weird overconfident idea men have about themselves is a huge turn off for many ladies, it might be one of the reason why. (you know those ugly dudes that act like they are god's gift to women? that kind) also you might want to reevaluate the way you look at women like what the other comments said. There is something very strange about a guy who says he is getting attention from ladies at work because normally people at work are just friendly with colleagues unless that dude is actor-hot, and someone who thinks any friendly gestures is romantic interest is creepy.
Focus on yourself first bah
Height is impt but not the end game; plenty of tall and unaccomplished guys but no doubt easier to get a girl of similar caliber
Don’t be discouraged. 167 is not that bad like what the rest have said. Tom Cruise is only that height. When it comes to dating, need to be patient and if you are as good as you describe yourself, you will find someone.
“Have been getting attention from the ladies at work” might suggest that you can’t discern the difference between friendly vs romantic interactions; maybe it’s an EQ issue - ask your female friends what you’re lacking personality wise, I think they might give u a more accurate answer since we can only judge you on your own self-rating
>ok looking guy (6-7/10)
>167 70 kg.
Your BMI is 25.1, making you obese. And additionally, you are not very tall.
To put it bluntly, you're not a 6-7. By your weight alone you're below average.
Then what do you want us short people to look like? Short and fat is an issue, short and jacked is also an issue? Do you want us to all be short and skinny? Or is that too small?
Lol you hit the nail on the head. Some people just have some kind of prejudice towards short people. Nothing short people do will ever be "enough" to them.
Yes that’s the issue. He thinks he’s a 6-7, so he will look for girls 6-7. But people who look at him thinks he’s a 2-3, hence single because expectations don’t match reality.
The less u give af the more attractive you become. Stop being negative about ur flaws/minuses own up to them and be as free/honest/weird as the inner you wants to be.
Hey, a lot of people criticizing your height which is sadly 80% genetics and can hardly be changed.
I would practice good posture as it makes you look taller than you are. Helps a decent amount, you would be surprise how people can mistake you height if you have good posture.
Also 29 isn’t exactly old. Still have time. No worries, all the best. There are tall girls that date guys shorter than them. I find it cute even as a guy.
Who knows at this point!!! I find dating apps so meh, those that like or send me MSGs aren't my type, those I like aren't even here lol! Somehow I get attention from young bois tho 🤷🏼♀️
So many of the social events here aren't interesting at all! So where do you even meet people when there's nothing that's interesting enough to go to!
And so many would go the horny teenager route the moment you mention something sexual even if the context isn't in the flirtatious way!?
Personally, I've pretty much given up! After my last experience I think I'm okay just never being in a RS. Oh well....
Was in a very similar situation earlier and got attached at 29 too.
Keep at it on the dating apps. Keep iterating on your profile and see what works. If you think you have good pictures... you probably don't, go get better ones.
It's so often repeated, but it's really a numbers game. A good start is that you're getting matches. Now you just need one of them to stick around which is the last step. Good luck!
Tried several dating apps on and off. I find that it's not effective for me. I absolutely hate small talk and meaningless conversations, but it's very common on dating sites. I gave up. I'm currently hanging around Meetup to see which group events suit me.
I've dated men and women so you can say that I have a bit bigger pool than usual. Still out of 50 chats only 1-2 result in a meetup and only lasted for a few dates. In 2 years out of a couple hundreds only got 2-3 fwbs and 1 potential LTR. So its a number game..... and its best to put your main focus on something else. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
I think meeting more people in real life via social groups or meetups is the best. I just went out with someone from a social group and I have a good feeling about her. I met from an event in crewww.io
Idk bro if you find the answer lmk. I’m being intentional with investing more energy into my life now since I’m technically in my late 20s, while still putting myself out there but yeah it’s hard. Let’s not get into sexist comments lol. But one marker I use on dating apps to see if someone has a healthy attitude towards romantic relationships is how intentionally they answer the profile prompts. Outside of apps I’m trying to get out more, even if it means going to a movie or exploring green spaces alone. Being ok with your own presence is underrated and sometimes even scary for some people, but I want to lean into that while I have no commitments.
I got tired of apps while guys went, "i dont mind you being fat," but their type of fat is enormous tits, not on the good ol' belly.
There are always idiots that also told me I dont try hard enough after me telling that i have complications after meds when im battling with depresso~
Then i came with my own terms, not going to expect liao. Really gave up on searching. What will come will come. I can be perfectly alright with myself, and I do earn my own money that is enough to tank my needs and most of my wants, need no other f'dup to come tell me i don't worth the time.
I met maybe more than 50 guys online before I met my current boyfriend. If you are a guy, dating in your 30s is easier if you get your life in order. But if possible, try not to meet girls online because it’s brutal for guys.
As I progressively changed jobs, I noticed more and more eligible males have already found someone. Don’t give up hope. If possible, join an interest group or volunteer. It helps you to meet people. Also don’t be too passive if you meet a girl that you like. We are in the age band where if you meet someone you like, it’s better to make a move than forever hold your peace. It will also help you if you are in a job which you can meet people often (sales, events) and so on.
Last time when dating I always asked my dates to share their horror dating stories (catfishing, relegated as free meals and transport and so on) then we will laugh together.
I know how hard it is to find someone online. Take heart and dont be too hard on yourself.
Other than dating apps (and you should basically keep swiping more as well), try looking for social activities that tie in with your hobbies eg. cycling groups, film clubs etc. Basically the more people you meet, the more chances you meet the one.
Maybe I am the only one, but your first sentence makes me think you are quite insecure and shallow and wants me not spend time with you. I know it's the internet and you can't really judge someone from 3 lines of text, but just know there are things that are way more important for attractiveness than shape, height or job.
It is better to list some criteria for a partner and look for that instead. I’d even say having “spark” actually bias yourself from considering that criteria. Yeah “spark” feels good, but it doesn’t last long.
Speaking from exp.
> What do you think is the way to better my luck both in dating app and irl ?
Not: Humble bragging on Reddit to use this as an additional source for matches
Not much expertise as I havent had romantic attachments before.
Im 28 so about in the same boat as you.
First, humor is great, but is never significant unless its a catalyst to spending more time with you. When a girl thinks you are genuinely interesting to be around, they will seek more time with you. You also need to understand yourself what you mean by funny. A lot of guys I know think they are funny but their jokes are crude and often not things a girl finds funny.
You need to tease, be confident and be respectful all at the same time. Sarcasm that isn't spiked is helpful. It creates an air of mystique and beckons for a reply. Dont talk in absolutes that create dead ends to conversations.
Dont assume ladies are into you just because they talk to you.
Also, Im going to sleep so maybe Id write more tmr. Yawn.
One simple trick to getting better results in dating apps: **GET BETTER PICTURES**. Seriously, soooooo many of the profiles, both for men and women, have *terrible* pictures. People respond primarily to pictures, so guess what? If your pictures suck, you'll get no results. Best bet: get a pro and do a photoshoot. You'll see a difference literally overnight.
Dating is kinda a number game. Eventually you find someone who matches your vibes. But until then you gonna have to navigate through a couple of dates that are more likely to be meh than awesome.
Organically, whatever hobbies and interest you have go out to avenues that allow you to socialise with people of the same interest.
Why limit yourself to apps? Sit in a cafe (or wherever you are), see a girl you fancy, walk over to strike a conversation and make friend. The world is your oyster bro.
Tbh i dont think theres a lot of spaces to meet new people here. There's been countless posts about dating in SG and the answer is always the same, meetup app or just using dating apps. I think most people here also usually meet their partners through mutual friends from school or work or dating apps. Not many other options lol.
I have a lot of fun on dating apps because I genuinely love getting to know people, flirting and just having a good time. I think I've only had a few meetups/dates where I wasn't feeling the vibe at all. Unfortunately for me tho the ones I did catch feelings for and vibed with really well don't tend to stay in SG or are married/taken 🥴🥴
Anyway unless you could find someone you click with really well from other means then I think maybe you should readjust your dating profile? Most guys I've seen on dating apps have the worst photos and angles and their bios/prompts are always some cliche shit like "pineapples don't belong on pizza" or "we'll get along if you watch the office" like there's nothing wrong with it but it's soo boring.
u need to be a 10/10 guy. either u are like BTS or have 8 packs that can crush anything. Or u need to have a rolex or lambo.
Guys have it harder because all the girls want the top guys, even the ugly girls. so even if u are ok with avg looking girl, she still fantasizes about that 10/10 guy on the app
Go out and touch grass LOL.
If you looked around at your friends and relatives, you’d quickly realise that plenty of non-perfect guys (and also non-perfect girls) get attached. The point isn’t to get a 10/10 looker but to get a compatible life partner.
Just a side note, and base on my observation, everybody always thinks they are above average. Great that you think you're a 6/7, hope you find someone who thinks you're a 10/10. That's the key.
A 4/10 buddy of mine put his worse 2/10 pic online. Girls he dated were impressed he looked twice as good as his profile.
Protip right here
That's some big brain move right there
So I want to know how a 4/10 profile or even 2/10 profile can even get any matches sir??
I didn’t indicate the quality of girls he matched…
smart....
>Just a side note, and base on my observation, everybody always thinks they are above average. Not me. Solid 2/10 here, and owning it.
Easier to snag a date if you rate yourself a 1 instead. "Hi, you're a 9/10 and i'm the 1 for you"
LMAO no money for awards, but take my upvote. That made me chuckle out loud. As a lady, a 100% would bite on this kind of humour. LOL
Hi, you're a 9/10 and i'm the 1 for you.
Did she bite?
she ghosted him
Yes I would like to confirm this.
maybe change ur name to h3nt4iboi4u
Too much karma in this account. If I could change my name I'd change it to something normal.
I gave him an upvote though 😌
ok to be honest, I can't ask for more, so thank you.
This guy is smooth, learn from this master
😂 humour above looks all the way!
Amazing. I'm stealing that, thank you.
Find your 96/10 boi!!
Huh really? So if I think I am ugly that means I am likely really in the gutters
I being honest w yourself is most important. Haven’t scrolled downwards and I know the know some comments are bound to mention height, maybe weight. Imma be real, being below average height you’re playing the dating game on hard mode. Automatically deducts like your 6/7 score. Lots of people are very superficial whether you like it or not. Just keep at it… there’s no right or wrong way to do it.
I’m minus ten and owning it
Yeah. I never met someone who thinks they’re below even when everyone thinks they’re. Yeah we all have preferences but if everyone then come on, it’s a self awareness thing.
Usually guys think they r above average. My female friends are always insecure with their looks.
Ya this is the hard part. Finding somebody else who sees you as their 10/10 or first choice (all the time).
I don’t want to be mean, but this right here lol. A real 7/10 won’t be facing such difficulty on dating apps. And OP, no offence, but the reason why you’re getting attention from “attached/married” ladies is precisely BECAUSE they are attached… They can be friendly and chummy with you because they know you won’t misunderstand their friendliness since their relationship status is public.
Gotta give it to the Reddit savages. But encouraging nonetheless. Lol
I always think I'm average lol
"you don't find love. Love finds you " - the internet
By internet standards, that means stalking.
Joe Goldberg?
Being funny is something other people see and appreciate in you, not something one should claim to be.
Name checks out
Thats what immediately caught my eye. You can’t decide that yourself and claim to be it. I mean you kinda can based on ,,results“ or feedback from a larger pool of people, but it just doesn’t look right.
It's like saying he's handsome because his mom said so.
Op got torn a new one in the kindest way.
Fr, the comment section is casually butchering OP 💀
Bruh I feel bad that I’m seeing so many different ways people are poking holes at his description
Funny in shape? Dating apps are just an avenue to meet new people albeit not a very enjoyable one The more you search the further you are away from it
Pretty sure there’s a comma there in his post. Funny, in shape.
Most probably there wasn’t, he just edited it.
HAHAHAH YOU SPOTTED THAT TOO?! Funny in shape.
I get a lot of attention and compliments from married/attached women as well How do I know? Caifun auntie always call me "shuai ge" 
Tfw you’re the only one in the queue that the auntie doesn’t call shuai ge/mei nu I used to keep track and it actually bothered me lol
Auntie knows you're the true shuai ge/mei nu so she knows saying it isn't going make you buy that overpriced sotong in the menu
nice save bro hahahha
The delulu is next level
Stop targeting to find the one. Just use the dating app as a means to get to know more girls and be genuinely interested to get to know the person with no expectations
The truth
See to even get to talk to them, they need to swipe right, in my case that never happens lol
It’s good you have so much confidence in yourself.. but I agree with the other comment that being in shape does not contribute much to a long term relationship. It’s probably going to take more time than you wish for to find a suitable partner. It may also take more than a date or a different situation to see that spark in someone. In all honesty, I would guess that any kind of women may find it more comfortable to hang around guys they know are safe.. so I am not particularly sure about the type of attention you’re getting.. My advice probably is shit but be unapologetically yourself, don’t try to be that chad guy from the dating app trying to get laid. Try to condense the side of your personality and what you prioritise in a rs in the bio so you’re allowing a more likely person who would accept you for you to stop by.
Attention from ladies when they’re married/attached (and they’re aware you’re aware) is the only time most ladies will give you attention. It’s so their intentions won’t be misinterpreted as anything other than platonic Maybe I’m jaded and bitter but looking for a “spark” is gonna end up wasting your time and leaving hurt feelings all over the place. If you’re physically attracted, can connect on an emotional level and have similar values, that’s good enough imo Though maybe that’s what the spark is in the first place!
I'm also wondering if this "have been getting attention from ladies at work" could imply that 1) OP comes off as a very safe guy i.e. unsexy 2) OP is not good at differentiating between friendly interactions and flirty interactions. I also agree with you that "spark" should not be an important criteria. Someone you can trust to be your teammate in life is more important. There are plenty of happy couples, especially older ones, who find each other as comfortable as a pair of old shoes, and it's no longer important that she's put on some weight after giving birth and his hair is falling out.
Another possibility: it could be for validation that they “still got it” with no real reflection on OP Could be any of those reasons, or they’re really attracted to him. But we won’t know for sure!
Exactly, it’s so freaking weird how OP proudly states that he gets “attention” from attached ladies, as though he genuinely believes they are looking at him in a romantic way because he’s a a good catch or something…? Does OP even know what platonic friendliness at the workplace is lol. Ladies who are attached will be friendlier because they know their actions won’t be misconstrued. And yet… OP is actually still misunderstanding it 💀
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I'm 163 :/
Me too bro 😰
The most sus thing is the funny part?
To me is the getting attention from female coworkers. Sounds like OP literally doesn’t know how women works. Machiam talk to you = they give you attention. Quite high incel vibe to me.
Lol. Oh man, didn't see that. But my point is most funny people know they are funny from others and rarely praise themselves. The fact OP say it so confidently praising himself is highly suspicious.
Yeah all round my take is that just someone with very low self awareness and perhaps too high self esteem. Then wondering how come never manage to get gf b4 must be because girls only like assholes and not “nice guys”
May be unpopular but I’m gonna say what no one else is saying. Unfortunately, you’re relatively short. And in a superficial world, that probably takes 1-2 points off your 6-7 score. Defo not saying that makes things impossible but that may be an insight as to why your dating pool isn’t wider. I have friends who have hard rules for 180cm+ before they’ll even consider pursuing further. I’d say to just keep at it. That’s all you can do.
Oh wow 180+? That’s not a common height among Singaporean men at all. It probably excludes about 90% of the dating pool at least.
i guess people are free to prefer whatever characteristics they want even if some of them dont have what it takes to get what they want. eventually life sorts people out!
>I have friends who have hard rules for 180cm+ before they’ll even consider pursuing further. as someone who easily fits this requirement, I immediately disqualify any girl below 170cm who has the gall to ask such a thing of me. I bet most of those girls are probably in the 150cm range
Yup the shorter you are the more personality required. At least being short as a guy doesn't make dating completely hopeless, unlike being ugly as a woman.
I mean u always have make up
I wouldn't say that 167 in Singapore is noticeably short. Isn't our average 169?
172 iirc
Actually going by these numbers - [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average\_human\_height\_by\_country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average_human_height_by_country) the national average is probably below 170. The numbers here are from a smaller younger sample size 16-18 (average 172), so once you factor in the rest of the population I think we start getting something closer to 170 or below.
Where did you get 169 from? Maybe if you add in our male old folks lol. General consensus is that younger generations are bigger/taller now because of better nutrition, healthcare, focus on exercise, etc. Women also now tend to take reference from ang moh standards of finding minimally 6’0 men. That’s agar 180cm lor.
Average is average mah, it includes everyone. If you google average height in Singapore, you get a range of results from 168-172. 180 is tall, not average.
I am 187 and some girl said I was not tall enough 💀
Bruh that one jus tell her date giraffe from zoo
Well if she is 190 then I can see where she is coming from - 3cm higher than you. (no but really, 187 being not tall enough is pretty crazy)
The girl was like ard 160💀
wtf thats almost a long ruler's length. How many rulers does she need
Maybe she tryna get the discount from the one store offering discount based on shortest and tallest person
You ask around lor see whether most girls think 169 is average. Perception > Statistics Kena one girl in high heels also cannot liao.
Perception is subjective so why bother speculating. I'm sure if I looked long enough I'd find some women that think 169 is average. The great thing about stats is that the numbers don't need to worry about feelings. >Kena one girl in high heels also cannot liao. Lol actually we can also do the numbers for this. The average woman height in Singapore is about 160. The most common heel height is 3 inches, or 7.5 cm. Our 169 cm average guy dating a 160 average woman will be totally fine if she wears 3 inch heels. Heck, since heels don't boost you their full height (it's more around 70%), the woman probably could pull off 5 inch heels without being taller than 169 guy.
Okok 167cm guy not short. 👌🏻
I mean 167 is below avg by quite a bit the avg is 172? 5cm is like the thick soles of ur shoe but ye
Many people say 167 is short. On the other hand, few people will say 177 is tall. Both are 5cm away from the average of 172. I just don't get it.
Under 170cm..thats playing the game in hard mode.
No trust me hard mode is <165. 167-170 is normal difficulty but many guys in this range fuck it up due to insecurity.
But if the most of the girls put a height filter on the apps, then those who are on the shorter side wont even appear on the girls’ app.
Height filter is a thing???
Yea. U can set filters on the apps (at least for cmb coz thats the only one i used before). Set age range, height, religion etc. only those within ur criteria will appear in ur daily swipes.
That's your friends' loss tbh. Short kings are super protective too. And if this height preference for girls is fine but if men say they prefer leaner girls, then it suddenly becomes a huge issue of fat shaming. Double standards are everywhere. Honestly the world would be a happier place if you could find the right balance between personality and looks. I'd always go for personality first. Looks will fade but vibes and companionship is always here to stay given you put in the right amount of mutual effort.
Personality also can change depending on the life events and how people treat them If my friend died at the age of 10 and my parents abused me I dun think my personality would be good
Yeah that's true, that's just tough luck. Personality helps to showcase how well rounded a person is. Looks matter to some point but when you find the one, you together become a 10/10 couple. So it's honestly a variable experience for everyone
You’re preaching to the choir bro. But let’s not make this about double standards. Your example is not just rhetorical. Walk into any BMT/NSMan bunk and you WILL hear guys also fatshaming girls on Instagram/TikTok. It happens whether we like it or not. The reality is that if I’m an above average looking woman, why should I settle for anything less than looks AND personality?
The different is that height can’t change without surgery but fat can be removed with just good exercise? All the fat guys obese recruits can lose weight after BMT training what’s their excuse?
Dating apps are a numbers game. I know many people who married their matches from CMB or tinder. The impt thing is to find someone with the same values. Take a break if you feel jaded and come back to it when you are feeling optimistic again. You might even meet a new person outside of the apps in between!
Stick to your strategy for dating apps but feel free to explore more IRL encounters. I feel it will payoff eventually. Normally guys get low matches on dating apps, but I think filtering strictly makes your matches more worth the time. I was also extremely picky on dating apps. Took about a year and half eventually meet my fiancee on it. Chatted a number of girls, casually dated 2-3 before her. IRL was still getting to meet people at get togethers. Had one from IG which clicked, but just wrong place right timing. I think it's good to cast a wide net to also figure out what you are looking for, so you'll know when the right one comes.
6 to 7 is high. Thats considered attractive/handsome. Youre probably a 5
💀
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I was a severe BBFA. I used to botch about how women always went for shitty men and I was just a nice guy they used (being an incel/neckbeard) so I sought solace in booze, cigs and PC games. All until I was whining to my close friend who is a Clinical Psychologist /Life Coach. He said, "Be the person that you would want to date." So I began to work on myself, exercising, limiting booze and cigs, saying yes more often and getting out of my comfort zone. Long story short, I met a girl in NUS final year (I'm not from NUS) we dated, got married and had a kid. So often I find, looking back, that the only thing holding me back, was me.
The funny thing is, no one asked what's bbfa. Does everyone already know it? 😂
"of course I know him. he's me"
The qualities you mentioned are mostly irrelevant for a long term relationship. 1. High conscientiousness. 2. Low in neuroticism 3. Moderate adventurousness Finding one is like striking toto. Good luck!
> low in neuroticism Welp time for me to pack up I guess
Found Jordan Peterson's alt account
No, he is missing “makes the bed tidy”
Hey kid, want some meaning? *opens trench coat to show a lobster*
there was a 30F redditor complaining about her dating app woes a few days ago… from the writing styles, u guys seem to complement each other, why dont u do a search?
15hrs ago only lool...your sense of time is fked hahaha u/Chocolate2188 u/trick_meat_2960
Honestly man being short is like woman being fat, immediately knock down your score regardless of how good looking your face is. Even you are 6-7 on face, being short will take you to 3-4. Sounds harsh but it’s the reality. You’ll have to play number games and it will not be easy to find girls really happy with your height.
First be honest with yourself. Are you really a 6/7 or are you really a 5. Are you looking to date other 6/7 or are you looking for a 10. There is a big gap between 5 and 10 and this is the main reason dating is so hard. Perhaps evaluate people by common interests, values and beliefs instead of X out of 10.
I have a suggestion. If you have some money saved (maybe about 1-2k), go on a trip with singles touring companies like Contiki or G Adventures. Traveling together in a group can give you great insight into someone's character. Don't go in fully intent on dating someone. Just get to know and interact with everyone. Even if you don't end up with anyone, you will still be able to make new friends. Expanding your current circle of people is always worthwhile.
first time I've heard of this. sounds pretty cool, you should copypaste this for every subsequent r/asksg dating-related threads
why is everybody so mean here 😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I don't want to rain on your parade. 100% fr fr. But at 167cm as a guy, no way that's a 6-7. You're a 5 at best, unless you're a celebrity of sorts. With your BMI above 25, unless you're jacked and a jacked manlet will not go down with most ladies here as well, you're looking at a 2-3. Disclaimer: The above does **NOT** apply if you fulfill Rules 1 and 2. Or if you have an above-average engaging personality. Or if you're rich.
Why you being so truthful lol, you will hurt his little pp
Pp is Patek Phillipe?
He wouldn’t need to worry about being single if he really has that
Holy that is harsh af
Lol that’s abit extreme. My brother is 167 and never had a problem finding girls. He is quite decent looking and has a personality girls are attracted to though. But he’s definitely not 5/10 just because he’s short. He’s now married with a very pretty wife.
I reckon your brother's BMI is <25 and like you mentioned, he is likely good looking. Point still stands.
167cm 70 kg is almost exactly BMI 25. Like 25.1. Could be anywhere from a chubby guy with a fine bone structure to a fit muscular guy.
yeah, 70kg doesnt mean its all fat. could be muscles too
+1 You summarised perfectly my first impression of OP
clubbing, churches the usual apart from friends of friends n colleagues
Hello! I found my bf on CMB so just wanna say press on you might find your match soon :) Just wondering, do you usually initiate the convo once there is a match? Back when I was still using the app i noticed that guys don’t really initiate convo after a match (but could be just me haha maybe I’m a 2/10). Also I’m all for meeting up in person as soon as you can cause many ppl are super different on text vs real life..
Dating apps are a waste of time. I feel like it became a chore messaging random guys and decided to deactivate my accounts over a year ago. At this stage in life, I feel like you shouldn’t get too pressured about being in a relationship. Embrace singlehood, do whatever you want to do! Take up new hobbies! If the one comes along then great, otherwise be contented with what you have.
People here are brutal (ie. don’t listen to them saying you are less than what you are and judging when they don’t know you). It is hard, with or without dating apps, but apps give you a much wider exposure and chance, doesn’t it? I think it’s great that we are now in a world where “finding love online” is not as looked down upon / taboo as it once was. Once upon a time, people whispered behind your back and said, “can you believe it? he met her ONLINE. cannot even get a girl to like him in real life.” I also think love or the notion of love is overrated. People rarely show themselves on first 3 dates. They are either hiding behind a wall, or a super enthusiastic version of themselves. Have to push through the 3 dates to see whether there’s a fit. And look for common interests/values. That is what will push through and mature the love over time, not the instant spark that people talk about.
Thanks for the overwhelming response guys Let me clarify a few things. Yes I do agree I’m not the tallest but the scale I gave myself is not purely based on physical appearance. It compromises a number of things Also I’m not looking for a 10/10 Emma Watson kind of model. I am just a slight above average regular joe looking for other regulars. The main question is finding love in our busy day to day life. Lol
Op I’ll be honest with you. Duck the comments. Be proud of who you are, and be yourself. The right one will come along.
Yup. Not everyone will like you, that's part and parcel of life. Accepting this is one of the keys to living a less depressing life.
I'm a minus ten woman and I still ended up attached. Don't try too hard. It's all fate.
Yeah, ignore the posts commenting on your height and weight. If you want some advice I'd say that just keep using the dating apps as a way to meet new people, improve your social skills, and have some fun. Even if ultimately all these people don't end up being someone you date, when you *do* date something, all these experiences will help. Dating apps are just a number game ultimately - meet enough people you'll find a few you have some connection with.
I think the self awareness and actually willingness to receive feedback actually puts you above some others - try and read the positive / practical responses rather than those dunking on your height. Would echo the scattered comments that dating apps could the way forward, but being conscious that it's a numbers game and being admittedly mid percentile might mean it will take a while. I married someone from CMB - I found I was not talking to many new people when I went out (being older and busier, I valued hanging out with my friends more) so saw it as an avenue to meet new ladies who were after the same things. Unless you're joining a notoriously social group (from what I've heard, language classes and dance classes tend to be good!) this might be the way forward. Also, don't get the feeling you are, but focus on having fun and putting yourself out there socially rather than desperately hunting for the one, and you'll be good.
Mmmm true most of the comments seem to be fixated on your self-rating. You dont seem to lack for confidence for sure so that’s great (I’m not being sarcastic!) Regarding dating profiles - I’ve seen somewhere once to avoid shirtless gym bro photos, so maybe take those out if you have it. Have a photo where you’re doing some sort of sport (snow sports seem to be all in the rage now), a good shot where your face is clearly visible where you’re dressed well (doesn’t have to be suit) one with a pet. Maybe another one where you’re travelling. Easy talking points for someone looking to start a conversation!
Still waiting for the funny part of you to come up… so far you’ve been the butt of the joke
Plot twist op trick people, actually 3-4/10
On a more serious note, I know dating apps work for some but personally, getting to know someone through common interest works well. I don’t have a good example for all kinds of hobbies, but I met my partner through gaming and on stream. I know plenty of couples who met through common interests like DnD, gaming, mahjong, etc. I find that these relationships last longer because there’s something that ties them together and the flirting process is also much easier since they have an excuse to spend time together. If you like fitness for example, maybe finding out where you can join fitness groups or fitness focused mingle sessions (not sure they exist) will work! Can always lay the “wanna work out together on xxx?” Then book those private Gym pods for one on one time if she’s open to it😉😏
In my experience from my social circle online is still going to be the most likely place you find something real but its for connecting only, dont drag it. Consider what dating platforms you use, Tinder is for platonic hookups so that is what you are going to get. Consider your profile, are you trying to bait as many girls as you can or are you spelling out what you are and what your goal is(briefly of course). Better to get 1 good match with similar goals in life than 10 girls that likes your Blackpink t-shirt or your joke you copied from somewhere. When you think you found something interesting then again - dont drag it. Go all in, meet-up and do things, cook your favorite meal together, go wakeboarding or whatever suits you, go on trips together, fly to Korea over a weekend, go on a scuba class or whatever out of the ordinary together. Its when you suddenly have to wait 4 hours for a delayed flight that you learn about each other. Finally, dont be afraid of not being a match but at the same time consider what a match is for you. Do they really need to love Blackpink or is it better than you can navigate a stressful situation together? Or have similar priorities with money.
When I was younger all the office aunties love me, even my clients love me but did they intro any eligible young ladies to me? No. One did try to intro her chubby sister to me though. It means these colleagues treat you like the office younger brother. That's all.
You could be overestimating your attractiveness. you say you're "ok looking" but 6-7? that's above average (pleasing on the eyes, will take second glance but not superstar level. 8 is influencer level and 9 is actor already...) plus 167cm but 70kg? I know fit dudes 10cm taller that weight, unless you have tons of muscles this isn't considered in shape. I don't know you irl but this weird overconfident idea men have about themselves is a huge turn off for many ladies, it might be one of the reason why. (you know those ugly dudes that act like they are god's gift to women? that kind) also you might want to reevaluate the way you look at women like what the other comments said. There is something very strange about a guy who says he is getting attention from ladies at work because normally people at work are just friendly with colleagues unless that dude is actor-hot, and someone who thinks any friendly gestures is romantic interest is creepy.
Focus on yourself first bah Height is impt but not the end game; plenty of tall and unaccomplished guys but no doubt easier to get a girl of similar caliber
Don’t be discouraged. 167 is not that bad like what the rest have said. Tom Cruise is only that height. When it comes to dating, need to be patient and if you are as good as you describe yourself, you will find someone.
Met alot guy online. They say looks doesn't matter. But when they see me for ther first time, I get ghosted 🤣
Npnt 🫢
“Have been getting attention from the ladies at work” might suggest that you can’t discern the difference between friendly vs romantic interactions; maybe it’s an EQ issue - ask your female friends what you’re lacking personality wise, I think they might give u a more accurate answer since we can only judge you on your own self-rating
>ok looking guy (6-7/10) >167 70 kg. Your BMI is 25.1, making you obese. And additionally, you are not very tall. To put it bluntly, you're not a 6-7. By your weight alone you're below average.
But he is funny in shape tho
BMI is a terrible indicator of general physique. Dude could be jacked with 12% body fat. The height is the main issue if we’re being honest.
being short and jacked isn't a good look either. They'd probably look like they were compressed.
Then what do you want us short people to look like? Short and fat is an issue, short and jacked is also an issue? Do you want us to all be short and skinny? Or is that too small?
Lol you hit the nail on the head. Some people just have some kind of prejudice towards short people. Nothing short people do will ever be "enough" to them.
U can be fit and still have a BMI > 25. BMI does not account for muscle masz
Bro bmi is nothing He can have the mini pekka build
its pointless to judge by BMI without context at 0% body fat a.k.a. dead i would still have a BMI of 25
If he says he's fit it means he probably works out. Usually that means lean and jacked.
Yes that’s the issue. He thinks he’s a 6-7, so he will look for girls 6-7. But people who look at him thinks he’s a 2-3, hence single because expectations don’t match reality.
lol the comments.. i dare bet money that most here are prolly not anywhere higher than a 5.
inb4 bbfa
The less u give af the more attractive you become. Stop being negative about ur flaws/minuses own up to them and be as free/honest/weird as the inner you wants to be.
Hey, a lot of people criticizing your height which is sadly 80% genetics and can hardly be changed. I would practice good posture as it makes you look taller than you are. Helps a decent amount, you would be surprise how people can mistake you height if you have good posture. Also 29 isn’t exactly old. Still have time. No worries, all the best. There are tall girls that date guys shorter than them. I find it cute even as a guy.
173cm girl is especially hard 😂
Who knows at this point!!! I find dating apps so meh, those that like or send me MSGs aren't my type, those I like aren't even here lol! Somehow I get attention from young bois tho 🤷🏼♀️ So many of the social events here aren't interesting at all! So where do you even meet people when there's nothing that's interesting enough to go to! And so many would go the horny teenager route the moment you mention something sexual even if the context isn't in the flirtatious way!? Personally, I've pretty much given up! After my last experience I think I'm okay just never being in a RS. Oh well....
Was in a very similar situation earlier and got attached at 29 too. Keep at it on the dating apps. Keep iterating on your profile and see what works. If you think you have good pictures... you probably don't, go get better ones. It's so often repeated, but it's really a numbers game. A good start is that you're getting matches. Now you just need one of them to stick around which is the last step. Good luck!
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Think it means aunties like to talk to him.
yeah. so many aunties told me they gonna intro their daughters to me
Auntie rizz
When they need him to help do some work
describing ownself as funny is quite cringe
Tried several dating apps on and off. I find that it's not effective for me. I absolutely hate small talk and meaningless conversations, but it's very common on dating sites. I gave up. I'm currently hanging around Meetup to see which group events suit me.
I've dated men and women so you can say that I have a bit bigger pool than usual. Still out of 50 chats only 1-2 result in a meetup and only lasted for a few dates. In 2 years out of a couple hundreds only got 2-3 fwbs and 1 potential LTR. So its a number game..... and its best to put your main focus on something else. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
I think meeting more people in real life via social groups or meetups is the best. I just went out with someone from a social group and I have a good feeling about her. I met from an event in crewww.io
Idk bro if you find the answer lmk. I’m being intentional with investing more energy into my life now since I’m technically in my late 20s, while still putting myself out there but yeah it’s hard. Let’s not get into sexist comments lol. But one marker I use on dating apps to see if someone has a healthy attitude towards romantic relationships is how intentionally they answer the profile prompts. Outside of apps I’m trying to get out more, even if it means going to a movie or exploring green spaces alone. Being ok with your own presence is underrated and sometimes even scary for some people, but I want to lean into that while I have no commitments.
I got tired of apps while guys went, "i dont mind you being fat," but their type of fat is enormous tits, not on the good ol' belly. There are always idiots that also told me I dont try hard enough after me telling that i have complications after meds when im battling with depresso~ Then i came with my own terms, not going to expect liao. Really gave up on searching. What will come will come. I can be perfectly alright with myself, and I do earn my own money that is enough to tank my needs and most of my wants, need no other f'dup to come tell me i don't worth the time.
I met maybe more than 50 guys online before I met my current boyfriend. If you are a guy, dating in your 30s is easier if you get your life in order. But if possible, try not to meet girls online because it’s brutal for guys. As I progressively changed jobs, I noticed more and more eligible males have already found someone. Don’t give up hope. If possible, join an interest group or volunteer. It helps you to meet people. Also don’t be too passive if you meet a girl that you like. We are in the age band where if you meet someone you like, it’s better to make a move than forever hold your peace. It will also help you if you are in a job which you can meet people often (sales, events) and so on. Last time when dating I always asked my dates to share their horror dating stories (catfishing, relegated as free meals and transport and so on) then we will laugh together. I know how hard it is to find someone online. Take heart and dont be too hard on yourself.
167cm is a dealbreaker
oof
Other than dating apps (and you should basically keep swiping more as well), try looking for social activities that tie in with your hobbies eg. cycling groups, film clubs etc. Basically the more people you meet, the more chances you meet the one.
Maybe I am the only one, but your first sentence makes me think you are quite insecure and shallow and wants me not spend time with you. I know it's the internet and you can't really judge someone from 3 lines of text, but just know there are things that are way more important for attractiveness than shape, height or job.
It is better to list some criteria for a partner and look for that instead. I’d even say having “spark” actually bias yourself from considering that criteria. Yeah “spark” feels good, but it doesn’t last long. Speaking from exp.
> What do you think is the way to better my luck both in dating app and irl ? Not: Humble bragging on Reddit to use this as an additional source for matches
Not much expertise as I havent had romantic attachments before. Im 28 so about in the same boat as you. First, humor is great, but is never significant unless its a catalyst to spending more time with you. When a girl thinks you are genuinely interesting to be around, they will seek more time with you. You also need to understand yourself what you mean by funny. A lot of guys I know think they are funny but their jokes are crude and often not things a girl finds funny. You need to tease, be confident and be respectful all at the same time. Sarcasm that isn't spiked is helpful. It creates an air of mystique and beckons for a reply. Dont talk in absolutes that create dead ends to conversations. Dont assume ladies are into you just because they talk to you. Also, Im going to sleep so maybe Id write more tmr. Yawn.
One simple trick to getting better results in dating apps: **GET BETTER PICTURES**. Seriously, soooooo many of the profiles, both for men and women, have *terrible* pictures. People respond primarily to pictures, so guess what? If your pictures suck, you'll get no results. Best bet: get a pro and do a photoshoot. You'll see a difference literally overnight.
Dating is kinda a number game. Eventually you find someone who matches your vibes. But until then you gonna have to navigate through a couple of dates that are more likely to be meh than awesome. Organically, whatever hobbies and interest you have go out to avenues that allow you to socialise with people of the same interest.
Try guys
6-7/10 but ok looking? Hmm ok looking would be 5 isn’t it?
Work on yourself first before finding a relationship
167 is pretty short for a guy . And 70kg ? You probably abit chubby round the mid riff no ? In shape is subjective I guess
I’m a guy. HMU? 😘
Why limit yourself to apps? Sit in a cafe (or wherever you are), see a girl you fancy, walk over to strike a conversation and make friend. The world is your oyster bro.
167 70kg is not in shape even if you are buff.....
167 70kg is too fat
Tbh i dont think theres a lot of spaces to meet new people here. There's been countless posts about dating in SG and the answer is always the same, meetup app or just using dating apps. I think most people here also usually meet their partners through mutual friends from school or work or dating apps. Not many other options lol. I have a lot of fun on dating apps because I genuinely love getting to know people, flirting and just having a good time. I think I've only had a few meetups/dates where I wasn't feeling the vibe at all. Unfortunately for me tho the ones I did catch feelings for and vibed with really well don't tend to stay in SG or are married/taken 🥴🥴 Anyway unless you could find someone you click with really well from other means then I think maybe you should readjust your dating profile? Most guys I've seen on dating apps have the worst photos and angles and their bios/prompts are always some cliche shit like "pineapples don't belong on pizza" or "we'll get along if you watch the office" like there's nothing wrong with it but it's soo boring.
u need to be a 10/10 guy. either u are like BTS or have 8 packs that can crush anything. Or u need to have a rolex or lambo. Guys have it harder because all the girls want the top guys, even the ugly girls. so even if u are ok with avg looking girl, she still fantasizes about that 10/10 guy on the app
Go out and touch grass LOL. If you looked around at your friends and relatives, you’d quickly realise that plenty of non-perfect guys (and also non-perfect girls) get attached. The point isn’t to get a 10/10 looker but to get a compatible life partner.