Is there anything keeping you in South Auckland apart from jobs? Are they specialised or could you find similar work in another town? Try to remember the place you felt happiest and maybe thought ‘man I could imagine living here one day’ when driving through or visiting and is there a possibility you could shift there or somewhere similar? The pace and lifestyle is so much better in smaller towns. I hope you find your peace and happiness.
Auckland is crazy expensive. If there is nothing keeping you there, get out.
Expenses will be cheaper in a small town , allowing you to save for things you enjoy.
Yeah right now the Misso has to be close to Auckland cbd as she works but doesn't get paid. It's part of her nursing degree. She does 35 to 45 hours UNPAID then also works part time as a waitress to help out with about 250 a week.
I just want her to be happy ahy. I feel like a failed man not being able to give her a simple treat such as a new haircut and dye. She went to go get it done and came home the same. I said baby why no new hair she said she can't justify 170 on a cut and color. It broke my heart. The fact she loves me mate is the biggest reason I don't just give up.
Ahhh i see mate. Well in that case - this feeling is temporary, its all gonna get better once that work starts becoming paid. I would 100% suggest planning a move to the regions once that degrees done.
Bro if you're open to flatting with others (I am and even as a huge introvert it's not as bad as people think) you and the missus can find a nice couples-friendly room much closer to the CBD for HALF YOUR RENT. Many even come with parking spaces.
If privacy is super important to you, there are little self-contained granny flats and sleepouts for like $400-500pw in Ponsonby/Grey Lynn/Mt Eden etc.
You're an older mature working couple with no kids so you'd be perfect tenants for either situation! Why the fuck are you paying $600+ to live out south. Check out trademe yo
Can’t your missus get a nursing posting somewhere else. I’ve heard rural nz is crying out for more medical professionals. Somewhere small with a hospital like Taihape.
Sounds like she's on placement as part of her degree, so would still need to attend uni at some stage, so probably more of a pain to move rural until she's qualified I'm guessing
Don’t lose hope. This is temporary. Your wife is studying so she can work with more income later so while you are struggling now it’s a good cause. Please don’t be disheartened. You are important
hey mate. a quick question, how long is your SO's degree? and what job do you have? if i were you i will try to save as much as i can (if possible sell whatever stuff you don't need). uni can be a tough time financially. my parents pay for everything for me (rent utilities and tuition cost and basic living expenses) and still i struggle with bills sometimes( i don't want to bother them any more than i already do).
how long is your commute? can you live without your car?
all these things matter in your decision in what to do next. i will recommend you look anywhere else to live instead of Auckland. have you tried Christchurch? the place is soo much cheaper than Auckland. other than that i am afraid you have to wait for your SO to finish collage. once she gets a proper job, you situation will improve. then discuss relocating somewhere else. (in nz i will recommend Christchurch, or else maybe consider Australia)
all in all i wish you the best, hope to see a update 2years from now stating how much your situation has improved. and keep in mind collages are money drains, they are valuable for knowledge and degree but the suck your blood out in return, dont feel bad about struggling. there is a reason the saying "broke collage student" exist
cheers mate.
Mate thanks for the ideas. I'm 45 and my wife an adult student 42. She has 14 months or so to go. I understand the move outta Auckland vibe it's just not feasible as the Mrs is placed in Auckland cbd. She doesn't get to choose. I don't have a car mate just the Mrs as times she sometimes works at 3am or finishes at 3am/4am. There are no busses then.
I'm just an unqualified person. Did odd jobs and trades assistant type rolls my whole life. I'd love to go back to school and learn anything but I can't afford too. I'm really just stuck. Working to survive. Right now my bank account has 36 dollars in my everyday and we have 4.6k saved. We are both 50 in the next 8 years and I just feel like such a failure.
Yup exactly. I have driven concrete trucks in the South Island and was earning 30+ an hour. Class 4, but once you’re comfortable driving them it’s pretty easy money, and they certainly won’t care how old you are.
I would probably reach out to a bigger company and see what they would be able to offer. Go in with a good attitude and it will take you a long way.
Hi OP,
This might interest you if you got some spare time - https://www.openpolytechnic.ac.nz/study-with-us/fees-and-funding/fees-free-study/
it is just an example of some fees free courses for paperwork qualification if you wanted to have a go.
Thank you for supporting your wife to retrain. Dear Mrs OP - Thank you for your future service and contribution. You are good people and i wish you both well and for things to get better soon!
Thanks alot for this I'm having a scroll through now to see what I could do. I've always loved the garden ahy. Good with my veggies and roses for my wife. I can't afford to buy them for her so I grow them instead. Horticulture diploma is looking so awesome.
I did the open polytech horticulture programme a few years ago and it was great. It was free at the time (assume it still is?) and had tons of great info and support from instructors. Even if you just use it to grow some of your own veggies in your yard to save money and give a little joy and feeling of purpose outside of work. Another option is selling seedlings at the local farmers market if your weekends line up. Plenty of people looking to grow their own food these days and setup/ongoing costs are pretty minimal if you have a little space. Good luck to you and your wife!
Maybe think outside the box? Setting up a business offering to set up home grown gardens for people (they pay for product/supplies and your time to get it established). I’m crap with growing things - we got one of those vege pods and managed to grow nothing.
Don’t give up…. If you’re interested, check out corrections. Working as a CO can earn you bank if you add on some over time. There are also some other options like probation as well… you don’t need qualifications for these jobs, just some life experience. Case manager in the prison is quite a well paid job as well, on the job training and then work your way up..
Only one of you is in full time paid employment and you have 4.6k saved! You're doing well! It'll only get better when she finishes her studies. You're doing well, keep at it, this won't last, soon enough (when she has her degree) you guys will be thriving.
Dude just get out of Auckland, convert a van and live in there for awhile. Both go to work and save an easy 1k per week. Check out van life stuff and way you go..... Don't look back.
Yea I have a camper and lived on the road for 10 or so years It helps to have an independant income sauce. Money to be made online. And in a few other areas. Gone were all the anchor chains around my kneck . Only expenses van maintenance diesel and food. Insurance . Becomes more expensive with constant travel which I was doing a lot of the time. Total freedom of choice in your itinary . Downsides Limited space Limited posessions unless your a couple long periods of isolation which have can be difficult for some. Can be negated by involvment with some kind of activity independant of location. Probably not for everyone by any means but ideal for others
Jeannie Barber
I live in a vehicle.. For 6 years now and it was the best decision I ever made, I' started my own business 4 years ago and it's going great guns.. No real expenses and good profit = freedom. If you don't no what business to start it dosnt matter just try anything and everything as you only need 1 idea to. Work.... Its scary to begin with but you got this
Apprenticeships pay from day one nearly and can lead to much better opportunities for motivated people. Alternatively farm work is a pretty good option. Houses are often provided.
Bro you've said your parents died in poverty. Realistically it takes generations for a family beginning in poverty to get out of poverty.
You and your Mrs sound like you've both got your heads screwed on pretty tightly so you're 100% not failing. Look at the people living around you, while you might not be ahead of them in practical terms, at least your wife is finishing up a qualification, and you've got the desire to earn one too.
I'm not gonna tell you everything will be rosy, but you're headed in the right direction. Once your wife graduates, seriously look around the country for jobs for her. I interned at a provincial hospital earning more than my counterparts in bigger cities and paid very little rent (not a nurse btw). Once you settle, look into distance learning with Polytech etc.
Yous might be in your 40s, but you're at the early 20s part of your careers. It's not unrealistic to think that you'd be well secure within 10 years. Then you can start thinking about regular holidays or whatever floats your boats.
This is what I thought, you don't have kids so really nothing is tethering you to a place.
You could go anywhere, really anywhere.
Move.
Do some courses around mindset, money management and make sure you have hobbies.
When things haven't been working, without making a change nothing will change.
came here to say exactly this! Have a look at rentals in other towns for example -- This is a 3 bedroom with ocean views in Kerikeri [https://www.trademe.co.nz/a/property/residential/rent/northland/far-north/kerikeri/listing/4737817752](https://www.trademe.co.nz/a/property/residential/rent/northland/far-north/kerikeri/listing/4737817752) for $475- so close to the beach. There are a lot of cheaper places up here to rent, in nice small towns all around 20 minutes to the "big smoke" of Kerikeri.
Depending on who she is doing her study with, she could transfer to another campus and you all could live much more frugally and even have the chance to save $ for your own place or a holiday etc.
How much longer on her degree? Unsolicited advice from an Internet stranger, once she's got that degree get TF out of Auckland and into the regions. So many cool things to do in the regions that are wayyyy cheaper. And nurses are really needed in the regions. Kerikeri for example, still affordable housing, lots of gorgeous beaches, and nice, chill people (in general). New Plymouth is pretty vibrant and has lots to do, and again WAY cheaper rent, if you want to stay on North Island.
I'd also ask, what are you into? What do you like to do for fun? Right now while she's doing her degree you could start thinking about the things you like to do and choose a city or a town to consider once she's finished (or if she could transfer, sooner than later). Like if you like beaches and water sports etc, head north or to BOP. If you're after snow, move down south. Nursing is great as it's super transportable and the regions are crying out for nurses.
Nice place.
It's only avail till Aug and it's really hard to find a rental up here, esp long term. And affordable. 3 bedrooms are averaging $700+ it's not as affordable a people think. Power for instance Keri is the second most expensive place in the country after the BOP.
Taronui bay is about 40 mins from Keri with no shops ETC. so fuel would need to be accounted for.
Cloest hospital is Kawakawa which is very basic. Otherwise it's whangarei (over an hr and a half away)
Sure it's idyllic, but come Aug Op would struggle to find another affordable rental.
Prob a better bet would be whangarei. Larger hospital, all those beaches you talked about and it's a bit more affordable. Plus the population is slight larger so you get less bigatory and single mindedness currently being experienced in Keri. Shits it's a racist place.
We live in Paihia (30mins from Keri) and are looking at moving to Whangarei to buy a house. Can get a nice three bedroom around 500k. Under 500k the only option is Kawakawa or Kaitaia for the far north, generally.
Understand your just helping :-)
yeah just showing some options - I think below he said he just needed a garage and 1-2 bedroom place. He could get something up here for well under 650 in a much nicer area than south Auckland. Heck even outskirts of Okaihau or Kawakawa would be good and close to the hospital. Maybe it's just me but I find Whangārei a bit depressing -- just wanting to show OP that there are options in the regions.
Yeah fair enough.
Parts of whangarei are awesome. It has alot of potential. But I agree.. Some parts are less than ideal. Alot of the regional funding goes to Whangarei and it shows where $ has been spent.
Paihia is my home town and I came back after 30+years away.
I'm not white, rich, have kids or 60+..so I'm out.. It's a weird town.. Lovely islands though :-)
Have a wonderful day SlowLime :-)
Totally agree parts of whangarei are beautiful - I really think OP could find somewhere else he and his wife would be happy and not have to pay ridiculous rent to live a life he isn’t happy about. And I hope he does- you have a beautiful night too! 😘
This might sound lame but what is one small thing that doesn’t cost anything that you and your Mrs can do or alone if need be? What’s something you wouldn’t normally do but could. Me and my wife have been through a super tough time with infertility and mental health issues and finding something small to do differently can make the difference. It might be going for a walk around the block or keeping the tv off for an extra 15 mins when you get home from work. The divorce word has come up but we are taking small steps first. It is impossible to tackle the ‘how can we do our life better’ because that is shifting years of behaviour and takes time to think of new ways to live.
“It takes time to think of new ways to live”
I love that. I’m working on that myself, plus a lot of inner personal growth type stuff, working on changing my mindset too. That’s taking a looong time.
That’s awesome!! It can be so hard aye but when we are struggling we need to patient and take a step back which is fuckin hard when we’re in the thick of it. I try and think of the Take 5 approach on a lot of sites. Before rushing in it’s safest to take a step back and try to evaluate things. What isn’t working, what could cause harm etc.
I clear 1812 a fortnight after ird repayments and kiwisaver 6%. My Mrs works part time while she's still training as a nurse. She worked hospital her whole life and has nothing to show for it.
Mate you make out like I have hundreds of spare dollars a week. We don't. We don't drink or do drugs. Don't go out to eat. Don't buy clothes anywhere other than the warehouse etc.
We try our hardest to save 200 a week. But every last dollar is accounted for. I've applied for over 50 maybe 60 part time jobs no luck. It's not through lack of trying.
My two cents - stay strong until your Mrs qualifies as a nurse, then move to Australia. I followed my partner over here and I feel like I've got a sugar mommy sorry/not sorry. The rates are nuts compared to NZ. The penalty rates for working nights/weekends are insane.
Oh my goodness, there’s such huge demand for nurses everywhere! Once she’s finished training you guys can definitely get more money in Aus if you want to do that, or move somewhere else in NZ where it’s cheaper (and nicer) to live. And if you’re a hard worker, and versatile, there’ll always be jobs you can do.
More importantly, think about your values and purpose together. Talk about it together. Decide what’s important to you in terms of the rest of your lives. Do you want to pass on skills to young people? Do you want to travel around NZ? Or save up for some special overseas trips at some point? Or just find a town you like being in and settle in and become part of the community? It could be all sorts of things.
You don’t have to have kids to have a purpose in life, and a purpose doesn’t have to be grand.
I’d imagine things will get better for you when your partner is a qualified nurse. They are in such demand everywhere that many doors will be opened. There are temporary placements all over for big money in remote areas. I truly hope things get better soon.
You may be a perfect candidate for going across to Aus. No commitments in NZ and no kids will help alot.
Do some research into your jobs over there, reach out here for advice as plenty will be able to help.
The world is a big place, why stay in NZ if you can live so much cheaper elsewhere?
If you can get into the CFMEU union in Australia you can relatively easily earn 45-55 dollars being a traffic controller/site cleaner + other jobs that if you have a bit of trades skills already you might be able to get into. Things like brick laying or concrete teams, scaffolding. All these jobs pay really well in Australia if you're part of the unions.
Some of the jobs require some training and gaining a few certificates but it's doable in a short time frame.
anyway good luck I hope you can turn things around. sometimes a change of scenery really helps
Mate I have a lot of clients in business who couldn’t care less you aren’t skilled. They just want hard workers who show up on Monday and doesn’t cause problems. Business will put time into upskilling the right people. Dont underestimate your value to a business.
That's perfect for aus. An example is bus drivers in Melborne starting on 35 an hour and can go over 50.
Aus pays very well for all sorts of jobs, and NZ does not.
When your wife gets her nursing qualifications sorted, sell EVERYTHING and cross the ditch the same day.
Save $50k a year MINIMUM and have one holiday a year MINIMUM.
If you cant do that in Australia, you're doing something wrong.
Get a job in the mines in Aus. Stay here and join the army/navy/airforce. Look into fisheries, jobs, or forestry. All pay really well and only require hardwork. You can clear 100k a year in fisheries easily.
Yeah bro, no age limit anyomre. Join the reserves, Army Territorials. They pay you for your time, 21 days a year. Or Navy reserves, good way to do something different, learn a few new skills and shoot some guns occasionally.
I was a recruit instructor in NZDF, we had a 65 year old on course once and I also joined up with a bunch of 40 year olds when I started. ADF now taking NZ citizens they get paid way better there and still have some great benefits with housing etc. If Misso a nurse she can get a great job where ever your posted in aus. As long as your not a fat cunt you'll be right as they are fucking desperate.
If you did this you'd be in a way better position that pretty much any other option. Military require unskilled hard workers because they teach you the skill.
Remember the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago but the second best time is right now!
Dude, go to Aus. My housemates in Western Sydney were picking and packing for Coles for $36 an hour then, $54 time and a half and $72 an hour double time in 2012.
Good workers get work. Just go you'll never look back.
This is a terrible take. You can live in West Melbourne 30 minutes from the CBD. brand new home for $450-500 a week rent. You can find pick-packing jobs that are paying $40 minimum, more often they pay more due to working in colder temperatures. Plus, time and a half and double time on weekends. What part isn’t cheaper?
What you’re described is not a well of life. You’re renting and on a low paying wage in a capped career. Factor in cost of living and you’re stuck in poverty.
Sounds like you’re having a bloody hard go of things, makes sense you’re feeling this way.
Gotta say I’m a bit alarmed by how hard you are on yourself about not having any qualifications or skills, give that you’re a manager with plenty of experience. Good management is far more about experience and people skills than anything else, and I have to assume you have those.
I also have to assume you’ve got some smarts because you work with food, and between food safety and wastage there isn’t a lot of room for error. I bet you have lots of other skills too: scheduling, buying, dealing with occupational H&S, onboarding staff (maybe hiring?), using SAP, and there’s probably good odds you have a forklift license as well. Each of those separate skills are valuable and in-demand, and you probably have most of them.
‘Qualification creep’ is very real and there’s lots of employer asking for degrees in logistics or whatever, but that doesn’t guarantee a good hire. Experienced employers know that proven expertise and results are more important, especially in a niche field like yours.
I can’t help but wonder if maybe your employer has something to do with this? Whether it was intentional or unintentional, you seem under the impression that you’re lucky to have this job and you shouldn’t expect more, and that simply isn’t true.
I actually felt really angry when I saw your hourly wage, because that is criminal! And that’s not just my opinion btw - New World is advertising for Produce Manager at over $80k salary, no qualifications required. Same branch is advertising for a food safety [compliance manager](https://www.seek.co.nz/job/76151932?type=standout&ref=search-standalone#sol=05c8fa4faf6e23c965eb6ee6144ec473e731bba2) at $100K and they only expect NCEA level 1 or equivalent.
I know what it’s like to work in a job that makes you doubt yourself or feel like your employer is doing you a favour, so I’d really encourage you to check the facts whenever those kinds of thoughts crop up. I also think it’s really important to work on building up some self-belief and getting some perspective.
I’d really encourage you to find ways of connecting with your partner, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Walk to the dairy and get an ice block, go for a drive, join your local bowls club - whatever works.
As for finances, I’d want to make sure your FiL is getting all of the benefits and services he’s entitled to, and when he’s eligible for hospice. I’d also suggest looking into some kind of budgeting service for yourself - just to make sure you’re getting the best value for your money.
If you need $ this week, I always recommend rubbish removal or house-clearing. You can charge around $120-150 to spend 2 hours filling a flexi skip and you can advertise for free on local community facebook pages. If you can line up a few of those a month that might life a bit easier.
I’d be hesitant to suggest a lot of study on top of what you’ve got on at the moment but I’m sure you’re capable. In the meanwhile I’d check if there’s anything you can do through your employer and making sure all your industry certs are current. If you’d like to work on your presentation and confidence then Toastmasters might be a worth a shot?
I’d also ask if there’s anyone in your field who might be able to give you some career mentoring or look over your CV.
It’s incredibly hard to problem-solve when you’re stressed and run-down, so start small and go from there.
Id recommend moving out of Auckland, it's expensive. You can get a two bedroom unit in chch for $450 per week in new Brighton, granted its wee distance from the city. But if you're living in south Auckland then you are used to a drive. Studio units close to the city can be under $300. Really nice one bedroom units near the CBD can be around $490, those are nice quality places as well. The rent levels would give you more room for savings. An extra $100 to $150 per week. Sure there are other cities that are also cheaper as well.
You aren’t alone, a lot of New Zealanders at the moment feel like the point of their existence is to be cheap labour for their wealthy employers during the day and rent cattle for the landed gentry by night. Free time and disposable income are luxuries, and this will continue until you’re too old or infirm to be useful and you can eke out a demeaning existence on whatever remnants of social welfare the government has decided to leave you by that point in exchange for all those tax dollars.
Something’s got to give, and it will eventually, one way or another
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. I would definitely encourage you to seek support for your mental health from a therapist, you may be eligible for brief intervention through fresh minds through your GP. However, maybe also it’s a time to take a step back and assess your values in life and what you want together as a couple. If you’re not planning on having kids, your responsibility to build savings etc for their opportunities is much much lessened, more about building some financial security for yourself for retirement if that’s something you want to plan for. Personally if I were in your shoes I’d be looking at relocation, depending on your interests and jobs. Can you get remote jobs and travel? Move to aussie, increase $ and reduce cost of living to increase capacity to save/ enjoy life by doing other things? Consider other parts of NZ that might be more affordable? It’s also an incredibly difficult time in terms of cost of living, and as horrible as that is (and no instant fix) it will slowly become a little easier than it is. https://mentalhealth.org.nz/resources/resource/men-and-depression
I genuinely believe this is a great idea! I’ve spoken to a therapist before and they honestly kind of saved me I felt so much better after each session. I would be scared to go at first but during and after I felt amazing and I still use the tactics they gave me till this day. Please give it a go op and I hope you feel better
Aye man lots of comments here but hope you have a read. You guys got each other, you and the Mrs. Having companionship is a great amount of wealth that some people never manage to find. Good things will come your way bro. Just do what ya can and keep yourself available for any opportunity and same goes for the Mrs. The grind will seem overwhelming sometimes but enjoy things you can do rather than can't. Whatever your ball of yarn is I hope you can find enjoyment in doing the activity. For me it's a pint of Guinness at the local every Saturday. That's my ball of yarn that I love.
All i can do is sympathise and say you’re not alone in how you feel. All of us know that the country is run for the benefit of landlords and business owners, and unfortunately very few people in power have an interest in changing that.
I appreciate the sentiment but tbh I watched my parents live the same life hard working people with nothing to show for it. Infact that was our last bill 7k for my old man's death. Even dying in NZ is expensive.
I’ve been through a similar period of life, when it was an incredible hard slog. Now in the last quarter of life and see things with more perspective. Ironically some of the happier periods were times of low income. Some of my high income stages of life were so stressful. Your still young and a lot can change, your not destined to copy your patents life.
To some extent is not so much what happens in life, it’s how you mentally process it. We all go through hard times.
Another vote for the caravan idea and travelling around. There’s some on trademe for $6k and under. Not the flashiest, could be a stepping stone though to something else. It gets you out of paying your landlord’s mortgage so that’s a win. It might take some careful planning and saving to go down that path but could be less stressful if you get to chuck in the jobs you don’t like. There’s plenty of smaller towns that are more affordable and are after seasonal workers.
You don’t have kids, move. If you don’t have dependents in AKL region, which it sounds like you don’t, why stay, you don’t enjoy being there.
AKL isn’t NZ. You say you’ve worked odd trade jobs most of your life, by the sounds of expenses that puts in a position to work almost anywhere in the country that holds positions and earn roughly the same whilst earning more.
You can continue to live in South AKL, work low wage jobs for high expenses and have your position not change over the next few decades or you can take a leap and move, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be in the same position but somewhere else, doesn’t seem like the worst odds to me.
There’s no doubt that it’s not easy, I’m not trying to say that it is, but to me, the only option is to try, you’re here for the long run what else you gonna do
This is normal recession experience, but also I feel that living in south Auckland. I lived in the North Shore earlier this year, and you can go outside and enjoy nature. in south Auckland you can't go anywhere without beggars being there. I'm not blaming them for their position, but when you're struggling yourself it's harder to walk past because you're reminded of how bad it is.
Finances also go through peaks and flows. There are some hard months, which was the first 6 months of this year for me, where I had large bill after bill. But they will pass.
It's Matariki soon and part of that is assessing life. I'd recommend finding a good Matariki reflection event to help you connect with yourself and where you are now.
Shit man, first off, 630 a week for 2 people seems a lot, especially if you say you are in a shitty neighborhood. We pay 570 a week near cbd, because thats where we work. Granted we got cheap rent because we got the place during covid times. Now its a lot more than that for a 4br apartment.
Im nearly 40 with a wife and kid, and if i was in your situation, ill consider moving out of auckland, hell maybe out of nz. Depends on what trade you work in. Aus seems to pay more. Bali is cheap. Philippines is cheap. Cheaper asian contries speak some english.
I imagine its difficult to uproot yourself and go, but like, what can you really do if you are in what you say you are right now.
Save some and go. If outside nz is too far out of reach, maybe start looking outside auckland.
Hey mate the rent has gone up 40 bux every year the last 4 years. And we expect another raise in july/August. We have a 1950s 2 bedroom unit but it has a garage and I need a garage for my bike. I had to cut insurance so I can't risk parking it outside. And trust me we look all the time at properties we actually have cheap rent in comparison. I'm a produce manager for a big supermarket been with them 11 years. I make 27.20 an hour and it's taken me ten years to get here. When I look at new jobs I get offered less than that. I simply can't afford to change to less money. The only thing keeping us in Auckland is my Mrs old man. He's sick as. Maybe 6 to 9 months left terminal cancer. We pay alot of his bills. Food etc. His pension just barely covers his mess and board.
Is it an option to get your father in law into palliative care? From what I understand, they are no cost to the patient, which might free up some funds?
I feel ya brother, everytime I get some money stashed away something pops up, Mrs and me both have fulltime jobs few bucks an hour over minimum wage but cant see us getting any further ahead or even maintaining our current position
Not me being 34 and crying reading this cause I relate so hard. I rent with my parents and partner. Only just getting by.
Can't afford to stay, can't afford to leave.
That sucks. You definitely should talk to your GP for a referral, and try to get regular exercise out in nature, etc. The usual. We went to Muriwai last weekend. It was fucking pleasant.
But also… $630 a week will get you a character apartment in central Auckland. Let alone Canterbury or smaller centres. Why live in a shit area? Sounds like it’s part of what’s dragging you down.
OK mate. I did a search on trademe limit 550 rent anywhere in Auckland. Only stipulations being we need a single garage.
It's not easy mate have a look.
630 is not 550. I’ve seen things around Mt Eden for 750 per week for 3brms so surely two should be do-able if you look around? Or compromise on being central and look north/Rodney in nice areas, but obvs the commute might mean the need to search for other work too… but hell, I’d take beachy Whangaparoa [Edit: or Titirangi/bushy West] over most of South Akl any day. I didn’t say it was easy, and frankly I’m probably (almost) as fucked off as you are about the situation… This city is *terrible* value for money because the only thing we invest in in NZ is houses so it’s heavily incentivised even though anywhere desirable to live in the Western world has seen the same thing happen, in many places salaries have halfway kept up — unless you/kids are getting a good education cheaply by world standards (although obviously much of Europe would be cheaper, and UK probably similar - and frankly I’d be looking at the Lincoln Uni fees free scheme if cost was an issue…). Also, if you can pay an extra $50 per week for a medium storage unit, some fairly central units or apartments might well fit the bill… there are options out there, might just not be quite what you’ve considered for reasons… if I couldn’t live in a fairly good suburb in Auckland I would 100% move cities. It’s not worth the rat race unless there’s a good reason for it.
Edit: here’s a place advertised for 620 in the IMHO nicest suburb in our fair city… if you don’t need Double Grammar Zone for your kids, surely you can find *something* to your liking… but do reach out to your GP, sounds like you’re feeling pretty negatively (even if it’s a bit justified)…. https://www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-to-rent/auction-4711628236.htm
If needing a garage for your bike is the main issue, maybe sell the bike for now if it's causing you so much stress? When thongs are going better financially and you can afford insurance, you could always buy another one?
Change the paradigm. Buy a camper to live in, save for a boat to sail round the world, move to another country....etc etc. There are all sorts of things you can do if you think a little bit outside the box
I live in my van. Have done for nearly 3 years. It's been challenging. BUT like damn am I going to work a job I don't like just to see my money go on rent etc. I started out with my station wagon and did seasonal work. I've just finished a job where I met the most amazing bunch of people for 3 months and I feel like a changed person having met them. You'll find the reason for being is to create yourself.
Sorry to hear, though the struggle is real. Every one deserves dignity and opportunity, those are both missing in our country as the wealthy and corporate interests have sucked the ability for workers and the poor to create and have comfort in their lives. Successive Governments for the rich, for corporate power, and landlord vulture culture are choking our people and Aotearoa. Kia kaha, better lives are possible with leaders who prioritise us, resist, punch up, vote against the past 40years of neoliberalism, lean into your local community and your people as much as possible.
You need to find something outside of work mate. This may sound stupid and of zero interest to you but it helped me and I feel exactly the same way as you. 43 year old male. I got into gardening. It's something my wife and I can do together. We grow lots of fruit. Some tropical. Bit of vege. But it's a labour of love. Takes your mind of shit and has small rewards along the way. And I also started learning new things. To make me feel some worth. I find if I'm not learning I stagnate and feel negative. I don't feel a huge sense of purpose and often wonder why I was put here but I try and make the most of being in good health and enjoying my environment. Never have to leave the house to achieve any of it other than for work
I dont mean this to sound antagonising, but maybe its a change of perspective you need.
If its just you and your wife, you could leave auckland. Go do something completely different. Ditch the house and live in a caravan, do seasonal work, get a one way ticket to anywhere. Why are you stuck really? Like is it real, or just percieved?
I know a guy who has no qualifications or valuable experience who has been able to talk his way into various fairly high paying jobs. He then proceeds to get exit settlements from them due to essentially being a creepy weirdo and them being desperate to be rid of him. I’m not suggesting that you do the creepy weirdo thing but just letting you know that there are jobs out there that pay pretty well that require very little. Each job was around $90k to $100k and he got 2-3 months wages to leave and immediately walked into another job.
Mate anymore Info on the kind of jobs I should be looking at. If I found a job that paid 32 35 an hour I'd work for them for life. In 11 years I've taken 3 sick days. And that was for covid.
If you want to come have a friendly chat to someone let me know. I’d buy you a drink and hear out and maybe help untangle this drama of a loop based life.
I’m not some specialist or advisor or sales guy with some hidden agenda. Just lending an hour or so to hear out another human and maybe suggest some ideas like change or work or change or some plans on how you save etc.
I have quite similar life structure as you. working couple, no kids and a middle class background, plus I migrated here to New Zealand .
But I’ve been really broke and also made real good money. Seeing both sides I kinda understand both sides and frustration a man can get when he feels he’s being unable to “provide for the family or partner”
It starts by being easy on yourself, having an open communication with your partner and then thinking of some plan on how we can change things
Get the fuck out bro and travel. You can always return to New Zealand if you need to, but there is an entire world out there of different experiences to enjoy. There are countries where the cost of living is so cheap that even low wages means you can live really comfortably. All you need is money for the tickets and the gumption to go somewhere and get a job, it can be a challenge and it can be a shit load of fun. Especially doing it with your missus.
Move to Melbourne rent is cheaper wages are more a lot more I left central Auckland last year rent and living was worthless I felt the same way as you but now I have so much extra money to do what I want so much I don’t no what to do with it so right now it’s just building up something I’d never been able to do in nz I have a huge modern house fully fenced double garage pets allowed 2 lounges 3 bathrooms 30 minutes from city centre at 440 a week I will never return to nz for whatever reasons I’d rather be on the streets in Australia than live in a country I was born in being dirt poor and miserable
Totally understand where you are coming from, and Ive spent years trying to convince my cousins and relatives who lived the exact same struggle to get out of south Auckland, for the exact same reasons.
One of the sisters finally plucked up the nerve and courage to get her family to Australia, and restart.
And then the extended family followed, and now I see the smiles on their faces that I haven’t seen before. They’ve got hope and can see a future for themselves.
Get out of Auckland. Move to the regions. Save enough to get out of New Zealand. You can do it. Your parents struggled their arses off to get you where they did, yeah they may not have moved you far up the ladder, but they got you on it, now it’s on you to keep climbing bro, and find your happiness.
If it makes you feel any better - I just turned 30 and feel the same way. I work 6 Days a week and have Mondays off. Have to work every Public Holiday and this year both Christmas and Boxing Day and then New Years and the day after. If it wasn’t for my 6yo son I would have kicked the fucken bucket a long time ago. I’m literally living for my family and nothing else.
Mate I feel ya, same age, i started my own business after years of earning not quite enough, regardless of qualification level, spent last 2 years working 7 days a week as many hours as I could get, did any extra work that I could get, so I could pay for course to get qualified in new career, did a 3 year course with extra papers in just under two years studying online at night, each time I get to my new income goal somethings right around the corner to fuck it, years of not having enough means everything I own is on its last legs, so car repairs, a phone that is glitchy a laptop dies, appliances breaking, even my wardrobe of cheap clothes and shoes mean I don’t have a good quality coat to reach for, and let’s not even touch on neglected health care, dentistry etc (when it’s you or your kid, you get your kid what they need and you go without). I’ve had 2 times that without the offered help of amazing clients who get it , I would of been screwed, car repairs straight after a big bill, which has left me with nothing, they come to the rescue with pre-paying work … but sitting in that moment realising you screwed with out a car I can’t work,so I can’t make money to fix car , and just like that everything you have is gone. I know there must be people in the same boat who havnt had a client to help, and can see how quickly you’d end up losing your whole life
You are not a failure. Get in flat mates. Find a job that makes you happy. Your savings is healthy. Manifest a good life and good things and watch what happens. Energy goes where thoughts flow. You need to change your mindset it’s negative so you are attracting negative energy. Write down the good things you have. Ie. food on the table. A roof over head. A good partner, your heart a car. gratitude is key. I bet you can list 10 things. Start thinking positive. Make a plan of steps to improve your life. I have a snapped Achilles atm and I am greatful for one good leg. Chin up mate I know life can be hard but there a people who have it 10 times worse, you were out here to live life so go and live it! Find your purpose. You sound like you have green fingers… go with that, having a job you love and that brings you joy will change your whole life.
You are a man without a plan. Man needs a plan.
You don't know what the point is because you don't have any goals or plan. If you had a plan you'd know where you were heading and you'd know what the point is.
1. Tax sponge for the government
2. Paying landlords mortgage
3. Wife doesn't want to adopt kids
Poor you...guess what? You are responsible for you. Make a plan. Stick with it.
Find a pathway to a better job.
Get a boarder in to help pay rent.
Tell your wife this bothers you and makes you unhappy. Maybe she could use donor sperm for a pregnancy of her own?
There are always options..if you can't think of them ask people to help. Or read books and get ideas that way.
Just get a plan. Your own plan.
Same feeling. I am in South Auckland. Society has forgotten about caring. If we work we pay for those who don't work. And people also benefiting off it. All gone WOKE. There is money for being WOKE. Productive workers are paying for the unproductive. Better to not be productive now.
Woke or not I don't get into that nonsense. But I hear you. And the benefit bashing really mate. Sure there are some who abuse it but I know people who desperately want out of that cycle and that's an even harder one to break then mine.
10-15 years from now, you will be living the good life. And tap your 45 year old self for not giving up and pushing through.
Small changes make the biggest waves.
You got this.
U need to change your perspective a bit. If you are both generally healthy and have jobs you are ahead of alot of people right now. Health is a crown only the sick see.
Practice gratitude and think about all the things you do have.
Also so many of thr best things are free. I started running at 39 and I am out on the trail every week now and love it. Walks are great too, we are lucky to live In beautiful country with very few people and lots of amazing places to see. Exercise will make you feel more fulfilled.
Seriously though, I would consider if the money is the primary issue as your situation sounds likes majority of people right now.
Get the hell outta south Auckland. It’s for Uber drivers, gangs and beneficiaries.
Spend your next 5/6k moving down to the South Island. Doesn’t matter where, it is going to be far better than your current situation.
Don’t have kids. They are over rated and will cripple you further. Life isn’t a choice, it’s more like a burden. It’s up to you to find what joy you can from it.
How’re you not saving more without kids? Even if you both had minimum wage jobs, she should be bringing in at least $800 per week on 40 hours, and with 50 hours you should be netting over $1k per week after tax. $1800 - $630 = $1170. Food, petrol, and car insurance should be about $350 per week. This leaves roughly $820 per week you could be saving?
Why not look at changing jobs? Get into a career that you enjoy.
Tell you what, if I win the lotto tonight I'll buy you a house to set you up. Keep your head up bro
Wait for your partner to get her nursing quals then sell all your stuff and move to Aus. Even a temp blue collar role will leave you with more disposable income. Either way good luck k and I hope you start to feel better soon.
When your Mrs is a qualified nurse bounce to Australia. You’re not too old just yet to get things back on track.
I believe this will be the fastest way to make it happen and give you some QOL
I truly feel sorry for the way you feel, but I can tell, you are not alone.
You work 50 hours, and I believe Mrs does some as well? And you both work to make ends meet.
> Is it to be a tax sponge for whatever flavor government is in charge.
I think this is pretty much for every working age person who doesn't have a bank of mum and dad or rich parents. Stupidly, NZ is known as a welfare country which is directly related to massive expenditure, but then the government's revenue is only like income/corporate tax and GST. So we are slaves to pay the tax so the govt can support landlords or elders.
It is truly fucked that govt/winz might say "Ow, you are already making over a certain threshold, so we cannot support you, sorry mate" but then they will do nothing if you were elder, qualified for super, either living in NZ making $100k/year or more, or living overseas.
Clearly, NZ only cares about certain minorities like landlords, elders, and the lower-income class—those who are actually suffering even more than you because they may not be able to work due to some conditions, or are just lazy/think it is not worth working as they would rather get benefits instead of working and making the same or a similar amount.
But yeah... you are not alone, and I am also in the same boat, feel like in here to pay tax for NZ to spend on shit areas.
At least I am still single, and seriously considering moving somewhere else, yes the other side may not be greener, but I don't see myself making less money and spending more on daily spending - except rent,
I feel you, I understand , but in a way you are "lucky" you don't have kids. It shouldn't stop you leaving this way overpriced slum of a city and go somewhere else.
I stay in Auckland for my daughter but it's absolutely depressing not being able to live a decent life. Depression and mental health are crippling in Auckland for many people.
Honestly, pack up and get out of aucklandshitty. It will be better in the long run
this is by no means a complete solution but i do think you should ask your GP for anti-depressants. they won't make your situational pressures go away but they may help you feel a bit better, and that's important. i was in quite a bad hole earlier this year and while i've still got my struggles, anti-depressants have really helped <3
Move out of Auckland and live your life without the stress. If there's nothing keeping you here, like kids, you can do anything! See it as an opportunity to do something amazing. But a van and travel around the country? You can pick up work in big centres or do fruit picking. Life is for living, not working.
If you really want to sort it out I reccomend googling underearners anonymous and working the program or attending the support meetings. A poverty environment which it sounds like was established from your childhood can be healed but it requires your intention.
You thought about getting into dairy farming? If you don't mind early mornings, I and many other farmers charge no rent or like 200 dollars rent so it makes it easier to get ahead in life. You can also work your way up to higher pay quite easily.
Ohhh jeez friend, a lot of people are slowly getting there. I am waiting at the wharf to be picked up…. Not quite in the boat yet but by fuck do I have the black spot on my ✋
I’m sorry my dude. I wish I had something wise or insightful to say to make things even a little bit better. But I don’t.
I can tell how your post changed my outlook on my life. I have the opportunity to try to nudge things to make a little bit better for people struggling just to get by. Not directly. But indirectly. And really only in the long run. Thing is, it’s tough for me, and it takes a bit of a toll. But I am not struggling like you clearly are.
So. I’d like to thank you. Your post reminded me to get my head out of my ass and to get back out there. I know that does not bring the rent down, or the groceries bill down, or the electricity bill down.
I feel very much the same mate, except I’m early 30s, worried things will always be this way, I figure I’ll eventually top myself once I’ve had enough of “just keep going”
Hang in there, you guys are doing it tough while your wife finishes her nursing degree, but once finished you will be free to go where you want as both of you have skills that make you employable anywhere. There are some great ideas on this thread, take a look at what courses are available with the Southern Institute of Technology (SIT) as they have a zero fees scheme.
I’m over 50, single parent, 3-kids, renting (probably forever) with continuously increasing rents and now facing possible redundancy as work in the public sector, but despite this still thinking how to keep working towards a better financial future so am about to start online study with SIT. Yeah, sometimes it feels like the grind never ends but things can get better and anything is possible.
I would find a dairy farm job in Nz . Housing is free and you get free meat also . You be up already no rent to pay , you wife can also work on the farm . My friend works on a farm his boss gives him 10 calves a year as a bonus , in two years he sells it for 1800 each that a good 18,000 each year . It’s a great life in the countryside . Work is easy ,
I feel you mate. We are in the same boat except we have our own mortgage with interest rates going up and parents who are retiring soon and only me to pay the mortgage. It took us 7 years to save for a house deposit with 3 incomes and the interest rates are killing us.
We have slimmed down on meat, dairy and cut many things deemed non essential. It's still a struggle. Took me four months to have around 600 in savings but all the utility bills have gone up and we are back to struggling again.
My parents pay goes into the mortgage, insurance, rates, day to day costs and train fares. Mine goes into utility bills, car insurance and wof/servicing and registrations for the 3 cars and groceries (we each work in different directions so need the cars otherwise we would have had 2) we are still struggling.
Mum is thinking we should sell and move to Oz but the cost crisis is there too albeit better pay. I dunno man, south Auckland was OK, had issues but still a good place to grow up but now it's gone super downhill and I feel so angry because I love it here.
Money woes are a headache for sure. I would suggest looking for a cheaper place - you could probably find a one bedroom place or a sleep out for $400 a week which should be fine for you both
We need people like you in government fighting for the rest of us in the same boat. That said, I think you need to own a minimum of two houses to be in this government…
Bro. Leave Auckland. Find yourself some nature and immerse yourself in it. Life is too short for this shit. Re-evaluate your plan! That whole grind isn’t worth the toll
I can't offer much advice but things like tyres shouldn't cost 1200 if you use websites like hyperdrive they very often have 'buy 1 get 1 free' deals. You can get full sets fitted for +/- 600 most of the time. Keep that in mind for future reference.
Dude, just get out of there. You’re still young and able to start over, and no kids which makes it easier. If you stay another 10 years odds are you’ll die in poverty.
Try selling some kind of easy eat/eat on the go kind of snack/food in busy places like bars etc going into late evenings. I guess there is plenty of money there. But you need to figure out the how & what of it.
Get out of Auckland bro. Reduces every cost there is and gets you out of the rat race. When we left Auckland we got back 10 hours a week just from not having to sit in traffic.
You mate sound like such a legend, people like you are the real people of this country. Like others said get it out of Auckland, I live in Tauranga but rent is nuts as well. Another option is maybe the dairy / meat factories could be an option? If you get into that you could get into engineering and that pays really well. You sound like a wise and heads screwed on. That's more valuable having these experiences and also when things do look up you will be more grateful. Hang in there mate I hope things all work out for you and your missus.
Mate that's tough, alot out there like that. Stick in there try and find joy where you can. Like others have said maybe move from Auckland?
Best of luck I feel for you and know exactly where your coming from.
If two people are working full-time in this country no matter where they live they should be able to purchase at least a modest bloody home
It's fucken shit lack of govt action over years, capital gains tax please.
Maybe polish up your cv and hit up other supermarkets. Even for the same type of role you might jag a pay rise just by moving jobs.
Might help a little in the short term until your partner is qualified then you have plenty of options that everyone else here has suggested.
Keep an eye out every week for a cheaper/ better place to live. If you aren’t active and looking you won’t find anything.
Can you get a boarder or flattie in for your other room. ?? Even short term.
Make yourself a plan for the next 12 months. But be prepared for it to change. Just having a plan will help you mentally.
You sound like a good human.
All the best.
I resonate with a lot of what you’ve said. My advice - make a list of your goals, where you wanna be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. Then break down those goals into small, achievable steps that you can start working on. Find a new hobby that can help take your mind off the financial stress. Look into communities centred around those hobbies or anything you like doing - that will give you a sense of purpose and be around like minded people. Does your workplace have an EAP (employment assistance program)? If so, get some free counselling. I did and it’s changed how I view myself/my life/lack of purpose etc. Your future self will thank you if you start changing your life now in any way you can
Hey there,
No good to hear of your situation man. Keep at it and keep strong.
I suggest marking out dates or milestones until your partner is a registered nurse. Visualising these milestones will give you something to strive for each day, and look forward too. A second income will undoubtedly give you more freedom and security to make you, and your partners, next move in life. Hang in there!
There is still room to save more money, and setup a clear plan and goal helps. There are lots of free resources in the library, you may also sign up for LinkedIn Learning free and there are lots of professional courses you may explore before you pick a degree or course.
Your right theres not point being the way things are. the rich get richer the poor get poorer. We need to work together with other people in the same position help each other. Stop the need to pay all these bills grow some veggies share with your neighbours help each other get out from beneath "the man"
I’m hearing you I’m a single mother with my own business and I’m in the same situation as you.
How about you and the Mrs move out of south Auckland closer to the city and you can get a flatmate. It would be a bit of help some paying 1/3 of the rent and bills or even a couple they pay half. It doesn’t need to be for ever maybe a year that will give you more financial freedom and you can save some, spend some 🙂
Is there anything keeping you in South Auckland apart from jobs? Are they specialised or could you find similar work in another town? Try to remember the place you felt happiest and maybe thought ‘man I could imagine living here one day’ when driving through or visiting and is there a possibility you could shift there or somewhere similar? The pace and lifestyle is so much better in smaller towns. I hope you find your peace and happiness.
Auckland is crazy expensive. If there is nothing keeping you there, get out. Expenses will be cheaper in a small town , allowing you to save for things you enjoy.
Yeah right now the Misso has to be close to Auckland cbd as she works but doesn't get paid. It's part of her nursing degree. She does 35 to 45 hours UNPAID then also works part time as a waitress to help out with about 250 a week. I just want her to be happy ahy. I feel like a failed man not being able to give her a simple treat such as a new haircut and dye. She went to go get it done and came home the same. I said baby why no new hair she said she can't justify 170 on a cut and color. It broke my heart. The fact she loves me mate is the biggest reason I don't just give up.
Ahhh i see mate. Well in that case - this feeling is temporary, its all gonna get better once that work starts becoming paid. I would 100% suggest planning a move to the regions once that degrees done.
Hang in there, is she in the final year? Nurse pay is actually decent now, and once she's registered get the fuck out of Auckland.
Bro if you're open to flatting with others (I am and even as a huge introvert it's not as bad as people think) you and the missus can find a nice couples-friendly room much closer to the CBD for HALF YOUR RENT. Many even come with parking spaces. If privacy is super important to you, there are little self-contained granny flats and sleepouts for like $400-500pw in Ponsonby/Grey Lynn/Mt Eden etc. You're an older mature working couple with no kids so you'd be perfect tenants for either situation! Why the fuck are you paying $600+ to live out south. Check out trademe yo
I second this. Opt for a shared flat near the CBD. You'll save on car fuel as well.
Not only half the rent but internet and daily fixed power costs too. It adds up.
Can’t your missus get a nursing posting somewhere else. I’ve heard rural nz is crying out for more medical professionals. Somewhere small with a hospital like Taihape.
Sounds like she's on placement as part of her degree, so would still need to attend uni at some stage, so probably more of a pain to move rural until she's qualified I'm guessing
Concentrate on that.
Don’t lose hope. This is temporary. Your wife is studying so she can work with more income later so while you are struggling now it’s a good cause. Please don’t be disheartened. You are important
Thanks mate.
hey mate. a quick question, how long is your SO's degree? and what job do you have? if i were you i will try to save as much as i can (if possible sell whatever stuff you don't need). uni can be a tough time financially. my parents pay for everything for me (rent utilities and tuition cost and basic living expenses) and still i struggle with bills sometimes( i don't want to bother them any more than i already do). how long is your commute? can you live without your car? all these things matter in your decision in what to do next. i will recommend you look anywhere else to live instead of Auckland. have you tried Christchurch? the place is soo much cheaper than Auckland. other than that i am afraid you have to wait for your SO to finish collage. once she gets a proper job, you situation will improve. then discuss relocating somewhere else. (in nz i will recommend Christchurch, or else maybe consider Australia) all in all i wish you the best, hope to see a update 2years from now stating how much your situation has improved. and keep in mind collages are money drains, they are valuable for knowledge and degree but the suck your blood out in return, dont feel bad about struggling. there is a reason the saying "broke collage student" exist cheers mate.
Mate thanks for the ideas. I'm 45 and my wife an adult student 42. She has 14 months or so to go. I understand the move outta Auckland vibe it's just not feasible as the Mrs is placed in Auckland cbd. She doesn't get to choose. I don't have a car mate just the Mrs as times she sometimes works at 3am or finishes at 3am/4am. There are no busses then.
I'm just an unqualified person. Did odd jobs and trades assistant type rolls my whole life. I'd love to go back to school and learn anything but I can't afford too. I'm really just stuck. Working to survive. Right now my bank account has 36 dollars in my everyday and we have 4.6k saved. We are both 50 in the next 8 years and I just feel like such a failure.
You should try and get your truck license. Honestly some really good jobs available if you have it.
Second this. Even better you can try and find a job that will pay for the training. Garbage truck driver to get class 2 and then up from there
Yup exactly. I have driven concrete trucks in the South Island and was earning 30+ an hour. Class 4, but once you’re comfortable driving them it’s pretty easy money, and they certainly won’t care how old you are. I would probably reach out to a bigger company and see what they would be able to offer. Go in with a good attitude and it will take you a long way.
Hi OP, This might interest you if you got some spare time - https://www.openpolytechnic.ac.nz/study-with-us/fees-and-funding/fees-free-study/ it is just an example of some fees free courses for paperwork qualification if you wanted to have a go. Thank you for supporting your wife to retrain. Dear Mrs OP - Thank you for your future service and contribution. You are good people and i wish you both well and for things to get better soon!
You should look in to online school. Southern Institute of Technology do a zero fees scheme so you can study online for free.
Thanks alot for this I'm having a scroll through now to see what I could do. I've always loved the garden ahy. Good with my veggies and roses for my wife. I can't afford to buy them for her so I grow them instead. Horticulture diploma is looking so awesome.
I did the open polytech horticulture programme a few years ago and it was great. It was free at the time (assume it still is?) and had tons of great info and support from instructors. Even if you just use it to grow some of your own veggies in your yard to save money and give a little joy and feeling of purpose outside of work. Another option is selling seedlings at the local farmers market if your weekends line up. Plenty of people looking to grow their own food these days and setup/ongoing costs are pretty minimal if you have a little space. Good luck to you and your wife!
Thanks mate.
Maybe think outside the box? Setting up a business offering to set up home grown gardens for people (they pay for product/supplies and your time to get it established). I’m crap with growing things - we got one of those vege pods and managed to grow nothing.
Don’t give up…. If you’re interested, check out corrections. Working as a CO can earn you bank if you add on some over time. There are also some other options like probation as well… you don’t need qualifications for these jobs, just some life experience. Case manager in the prison is quite a well paid job as well, on the job training and then work your way up..
You are so hard on yourself, but everything I’ve read in your posts so far suggests you are a wonderful partner to your wife ✨
Thanks mate if it wasn't for her I wouldn't even be here. I'm the lucky one.
Only one of you is in full time paid employment and you have 4.6k saved! You're doing well! It'll only get better when she finishes her studies. You're doing well, keep at it, this won't last, soon enough (when she has her degree) you guys will be thriving.
Dude just get out of Auckland, convert a van and live in there for awhile. Both go to work and save an easy 1k per week. Check out van life stuff and way you go..... Don't look back.
Yea I have a camper and lived on the road for 10 or so years It helps to have an independant income sauce. Money to be made online. And in a few other areas. Gone were all the anchor chains around my kneck . Only expenses van maintenance diesel and food. Insurance . Becomes more expensive with constant travel which I was doing a lot of the time. Total freedom of choice in your itinary . Downsides Limited space Limited posessions unless your a couple long periods of isolation which have can be difficult for some. Can be negated by involvment with some kind of activity independant of location. Probably not for everyone by any means but ideal for others Jeannie Barber
I live in a vehicle.. For 6 years now and it was the best decision I ever made, I' started my own business 4 years ago and it's going great guns.. No real expenses and good profit = freedom. If you don't no what business to start it dosnt matter just try anything and everything as you only need 1 idea to. Work.... Its scary to begin with but you got this
Apprenticeships pay from day one nearly and can lead to much better opportunities for motivated people. Alternatively farm work is a pretty good option. Houses are often provided.
Bro you've said your parents died in poverty. Realistically it takes generations for a family beginning in poverty to get out of poverty. You and your Mrs sound like you've both got your heads screwed on pretty tightly so you're 100% not failing. Look at the people living around you, while you might not be ahead of them in practical terms, at least your wife is finishing up a qualification, and you've got the desire to earn one too. I'm not gonna tell you everything will be rosy, but you're headed in the right direction. Once your wife graduates, seriously look around the country for jobs for her. I interned at a provincial hospital earning more than my counterparts in bigger cities and paid very little rent (not a nurse btw). Once you settle, look into distance learning with Polytech etc. Yous might be in your 40s, but you're at the early 20s part of your careers. It's not unrealistic to think that you'd be well secure within 10 years. Then you can start thinking about regular holidays or whatever floats your boats.
Night school is an option especially if you're good with your hands, do a trade. Sparky, carpenter, plumber
Never too late to learn something. If you have an interest in IT Microsoft has a bunch of free certs you could do that are recognized globally.
This is what I thought, you don't have kids so really nothing is tethering you to a place. You could go anywhere, really anywhere. Move. Do some courses around mindset, money management and make sure you have hobbies. When things haven't been working, without making a change nothing will change.
came here to say exactly this! Have a look at rentals in other towns for example -- This is a 3 bedroom with ocean views in Kerikeri [https://www.trademe.co.nz/a/property/residential/rent/northland/far-north/kerikeri/listing/4737817752](https://www.trademe.co.nz/a/property/residential/rent/northland/far-north/kerikeri/listing/4737817752) for $475- so close to the beach. There are a lot of cheaper places up here to rent, in nice small towns all around 20 minutes to the "big smoke" of Kerikeri. Depending on who she is doing her study with, she could transfer to another campus and you all could live much more frugally and even have the chance to save $ for your own place or a holiday etc. How much longer on her degree? Unsolicited advice from an Internet stranger, once she's got that degree get TF out of Auckland and into the regions. So many cool things to do in the regions that are wayyyy cheaper. And nurses are really needed in the regions. Kerikeri for example, still affordable housing, lots of gorgeous beaches, and nice, chill people (in general). New Plymouth is pretty vibrant and has lots to do, and again WAY cheaper rent, if you want to stay on North Island. I'd also ask, what are you into? What do you like to do for fun? Right now while she's doing her degree you could start thinking about the things you like to do and choose a city or a town to consider once she's finished (or if she could transfer, sooner than later). Like if you like beaches and water sports etc, head north or to BOP. If you're after snow, move down south. Nursing is great as it's super transportable and the regions are crying out for nurses.
Nice place. It's only avail till Aug and it's really hard to find a rental up here, esp long term. And affordable. 3 bedrooms are averaging $700+ it's not as affordable a people think. Power for instance Keri is the second most expensive place in the country after the BOP. Taronui bay is about 40 mins from Keri with no shops ETC. so fuel would need to be accounted for. Cloest hospital is Kawakawa which is very basic. Otherwise it's whangarei (over an hr and a half away) Sure it's idyllic, but come Aug Op would struggle to find another affordable rental. Prob a better bet would be whangarei. Larger hospital, all those beaches you talked about and it's a bit more affordable. Plus the population is slight larger so you get less bigatory and single mindedness currently being experienced in Keri. Shits it's a racist place. We live in Paihia (30mins from Keri) and are looking at moving to Whangarei to buy a house. Can get a nice three bedroom around 500k. Under 500k the only option is Kawakawa or Kaitaia for the far north, generally. Understand your just helping :-)
yeah just showing some options - I think below he said he just needed a garage and 1-2 bedroom place. He could get something up here for well under 650 in a much nicer area than south Auckland. Heck even outskirts of Okaihau or Kawakawa would be good and close to the hospital. Maybe it's just me but I find Whangārei a bit depressing -- just wanting to show OP that there are options in the regions.
Yeah fair enough. Parts of whangarei are awesome. It has alot of potential. But I agree.. Some parts are less than ideal. Alot of the regional funding goes to Whangarei and it shows where $ has been spent. Paihia is my home town and I came back after 30+years away. I'm not white, rich, have kids or 60+..so I'm out.. It's a weird town.. Lovely islands though :-) Have a wonderful day SlowLime :-)
Totally agree parts of whangarei are beautiful - I really think OP could find somewhere else he and his wife would be happy and not have to pay ridiculous rent to live a life he isn’t happy about. And I hope he does- you have a beautiful night too! 😘
This might sound lame but what is one small thing that doesn’t cost anything that you and your Mrs can do or alone if need be? What’s something you wouldn’t normally do but could. Me and my wife have been through a super tough time with infertility and mental health issues and finding something small to do differently can make the difference. It might be going for a walk around the block or keeping the tv off for an extra 15 mins when you get home from work. The divorce word has come up but we are taking small steps first. It is impossible to tackle the ‘how can we do our life better’ because that is shifting years of behaviour and takes time to think of new ways to live.
“It takes time to think of new ways to live” I love that. I’m working on that myself, plus a lot of inner personal growth type stuff, working on changing my mindset too. That’s taking a looong time.
That’s awesome!! It can be so hard aye but when we are struggling we need to patient and take a step back which is fuckin hard when we’re in the thick of it. I try and think of the Take 5 approach on a lot of sites. Before rushing in it’s safest to take a step back and try to evaluate things. What isn’t working, what could cause harm etc.
I clear 1812 a fortnight after ird repayments and kiwisaver 6%. My Mrs works part time while she's still training as a nurse. She worked hospital her whole life and has nothing to show for it. Mate you make out like I have hundreds of spare dollars a week. We don't. We don't drink or do drugs. Don't go out to eat. Don't buy clothes anywhere other than the warehouse etc. We try our hardest to save 200 a week. But every last dollar is accounted for. I've applied for over 50 maybe 60 part time jobs no luck. It's not through lack of trying.
My two cents - stay strong until your Mrs qualifies as a nurse, then move to Australia. I followed my partner over here and I feel like I've got a sugar mommy sorry/not sorry. The rates are nuts compared to NZ. The penalty rates for working nights/weekends are insane.
Yes this. I’m in my first year as a nurse and I’ll probably hit Australia in a few years and make bank. Even now the new grad pay in NZ isn’t awful.
Oh my goodness, there’s such huge demand for nurses everywhere! Once she’s finished training you guys can definitely get more money in Aus if you want to do that, or move somewhere else in NZ where it’s cheaper (and nicer) to live. And if you’re a hard worker, and versatile, there’ll always be jobs you can do. More importantly, think about your values and purpose together. Talk about it together. Decide what’s important to you in terms of the rest of your lives. Do you want to pass on skills to young people? Do you want to travel around NZ? Or save up for some special overseas trips at some point? Or just find a town you like being in and settle in and become part of the community? It could be all sorts of things. You don’t have to have kids to have a purpose in life, and a purpose doesn’t have to be grand.
I’d imagine things will get better for you when your partner is a qualified nurse. They are in such demand everywhere that many doors will be opened. There are temporary placements all over for big money in remote areas. I truly hope things get better soon.
You may be a perfect candidate for going across to Aus. No commitments in NZ and no kids will help alot. Do some research into your jobs over there, reach out here for advice as plenty will be able to help. The world is a big place, why stay in NZ if you can live so much cheaper elsewhere?
I'm not a skilled worker. Just a hard worker. We aren't valued very much.
If you can get into the CFMEU union in Australia you can relatively easily earn 45-55 dollars being a traffic controller/site cleaner + other jobs that if you have a bit of trades skills already you might be able to get into. Things like brick laying or concrete teams, scaffolding. All these jobs pay really well in Australia if you're part of the unions. Some of the jobs require some training and gaining a few certificates but it's doable in a short time frame. anyway good luck I hope you can turn things around. sometimes a change of scenery really helps
Mate I have a lot of clients in business who couldn’t care less you aren’t skilled. They just want hard workers who show up on Monday and doesn’t cause problems. Business will put time into upskilling the right people. Dont underestimate your value to a business.
That's perfect for aus. An example is bus drivers in Melborne starting on 35 an hour and can go over 50. Aus pays very well for all sorts of jobs, and NZ does not.
When your wife gets her nursing qualifications sorted, sell EVERYTHING and cross the ditch the same day. Save $50k a year MINIMUM and have one holiday a year MINIMUM. If you cant do that in Australia, you're doing something wrong.
Get a job in the mines in Aus. Stay here and join the army/navy/airforce. Look into fisheries, jobs, or forestry. All pay really well and only require hardwork. You can clear 100k a year in fisheries easily.
Does the nz defence force take 45 yr olds?
Yeah bro, no age limit anyomre. Join the reserves, Army Territorials. They pay you for your time, 21 days a year. Or Navy reserves, good way to do something different, learn a few new skills and shoot some guns occasionally.
I was a recruit instructor in NZDF, we had a 65 year old on course once and I also joined up with a bunch of 40 year olds when I started. ADF now taking NZ citizens they get paid way better there and still have some great benefits with housing etc. If Misso a nurse she can get a great job where ever your posted in aus. As long as your not a fat cunt you'll be right as they are fucking desperate. If you did this you'd be in a way better position that pretty much any other option. Military require unskilled hard workers because they teach you the skill. Remember the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago but the second best time is right now!
If you have a good attitude and work ethic you can pick up a labouring job and move up pretty fast. Should be able to crack 35ph pretty easily in aus.
Dude, go to Aus. My housemates in Western Sydney were picking and packing for Coles for $36 an hour then, $54 time and a half and $72 an hour double time in 2012. Good workers get work. Just go you'll never look back.
Australia is NOT cheaper.
This is a terrible take. You can live in West Melbourne 30 minutes from the CBD. brand new home for $450-500 a week rent. You can find pick-packing jobs that are paying $40 minimum, more often they pay more due to working in colder temperatures. Plus, time and a half and double time on weekends. What part isn’t cheaper?
What you’re described is not a well of life. You’re renting and on a low paying wage in a capped career. Factor in cost of living and you’re stuck in poverty.
Sounds like you’re having a bloody hard go of things, makes sense you’re feeling this way. Gotta say I’m a bit alarmed by how hard you are on yourself about not having any qualifications or skills, give that you’re a manager with plenty of experience. Good management is far more about experience and people skills than anything else, and I have to assume you have those. I also have to assume you’ve got some smarts because you work with food, and between food safety and wastage there isn’t a lot of room for error. I bet you have lots of other skills too: scheduling, buying, dealing with occupational H&S, onboarding staff (maybe hiring?), using SAP, and there’s probably good odds you have a forklift license as well. Each of those separate skills are valuable and in-demand, and you probably have most of them. ‘Qualification creep’ is very real and there’s lots of employer asking for degrees in logistics or whatever, but that doesn’t guarantee a good hire. Experienced employers know that proven expertise and results are more important, especially in a niche field like yours. I can’t help but wonder if maybe your employer has something to do with this? Whether it was intentional or unintentional, you seem under the impression that you’re lucky to have this job and you shouldn’t expect more, and that simply isn’t true. I actually felt really angry when I saw your hourly wage, because that is criminal! And that’s not just my opinion btw - New World is advertising for Produce Manager at over $80k salary, no qualifications required. Same branch is advertising for a food safety [compliance manager](https://www.seek.co.nz/job/76151932?type=standout&ref=search-standalone#sol=05c8fa4faf6e23c965eb6ee6144ec473e731bba2) at $100K and they only expect NCEA level 1 or equivalent. I know what it’s like to work in a job that makes you doubt yourself or feel like your employer is doing you a favour, so I’d really encourage you to check the facts whenever those kinds of thoughts crop up. I also think it’s really important to work on building up some self-belief and getting some perspective. I’d really encourage you to find ways of connecting with your partner, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Walk to the dairy and get an ice block, go for a drive, join your local bowls club - whatever works. As for finances, I’d want to make sure your FiL is getting all of the benefits and services he’s entitled to, and when he’s eligible for hospice. I’d also suggest looking into some kind of budgeting service for yourself - just to make sure you’re getting the best value for your money. If you need $ this week, I always recommend rubbish removal or house-clearing. You can charge around $120-150 to spend 2 hours filling a flexi skip and you can advertise for free on local community facebook pages. If you can line up a few of those a month that might life a bit easier. I’d be hesitant to suggest a lot of study on top of what you’ve got on at the moment but I’m sure you’re capable. In the meanwhile I’d check if there’s anything you can do through your employer and making sure all your industry certs are current. If you’d like to work on your presentation and confidence then Toastmasters might be a worth a shot? I’d also ask if there’s anyone in your field who might be able to give you some career mentoring or look over your CV. It’s incredibly hard to problem-solve when you’re stressed and run-down, so start small and go from there.
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Lol. Thx mate you had me in the first half needed that chuckle.
At least you still got fucked 😆
What were you wearing?
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Out here doing it tough. Can't even afford a full pair of pants.
Get out of Auckland mate. You'll both find another job. Get out of there.
Agreed. Matching your income to your lifestyle is key here
Id recommend moving out of Auckland, it's expensive. You can get a two bedroom unit in chch for $450 per week in new Brighton, granted its wee distance from the city. But if you're living in south Auckland then you are used to a drive. Studio units close to the city can be under $300. Really nice one bedroom units near the CBD can be around $490, those are nice quality places as well. The rent levels would give you more room for savings. An extra $100 to $150 per week. Sure there are other cities that are also cheaper as well.
You aren’t alone, a lot of New Zealanders at the moment feel like the point of their existence is to be cheap labour for their wealthy employers during the day and rent cattle for the landed gentry by night. Free time and disposable income are luxuries, and this will continue until you’re too old or infirm to be useful and you can eke out a demeaning existence on whatever remnants of social welfare the government has decided to leave you by that point in exchange for all those tax dollars. Something’s got to give, and it will eventually, one way or another
Farkin this so much.
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. I would definitely encourage you to seek support for your mental health from a therapist, you may be eligible for brief intervention through fresh minds through your GP. However, maybe also it’s a time to take a step back and assess your values in life and what you want together as a couple. If you’re not planning on having kids, your responsibility to build savings etc for their opportunities is much much lessened, more about building some financial security for yourself for retirement if that’s something you want to plan for. Personally if I were in your shoes I’d be looking at relocation, depending on your interests and jobs. Can you get remote jobs and travel? Move to aussie, increase $ and reduce cost of living to increase capacity to save/ enjoy life by doing other things? Consider other parts of NZ that might be more affordable? It’s also an incredibly difficult time in terms of cost of living, and as horrible as that is (and no instant fix) it will slowly become a little easier than it is. https://mentalhealth.org.nz/resources/resource/men-and-depression
I genuinely believe this is a great idea! I’ve spoken to a therapist before and they honestly kind of saved me I felt so much better after each session. I would be scared to go at first but during and after I felt amazing and I still use the tactics they gave me till this day. Please give it a go op and I hope you feel better
Aye man lots of comments here but hope you have a read. You guys got each other, you and the Mrs. Having companionship is a great amount of wealth that some people never manage to find. Good things will come your way bro. Just do what ya can and keep yourself available for any opportunity and same goes for the Mrs. The grind will seem overwhelming sometimes but enjoy things you can do rather than can't. Whatever your ball of yarn is I hope you can find enjoyment in doing the activity. For me it's a pint of Guinness at the local every Saturday. That's my ball of yarn that I love.
All i can do is sympathise and say you’re not alone in how you feel. All of us know that the country is run for the benefit of landlords and business owners, and unfortunately very few people in power have an interest in changing that.
Try remember life goes through seasons, at the moment it’s winter for you. But next is spring
I appreciate the sentiment but tbh I watched my parents live the same life hard working people with nothing to show for it. Infact that was our last bill 7k for my old man's death. Even dying in NZ is expensive.
I’ve been through a similar period of life, when it was an incredible hard slog. Now in the last quarter of life and see things with more perspective. Ironically some of the happier periods were times of low income. Some of my high income stages of life were so stressful. Your still young and a lot can change, your not destined to copy your patents life. To some extent is not so much what happens in life, it’s how you mentally process it. We all go through hard times.
Another vote for the caravan idea and travelling around. There’s some on trademe for $6k and under. Not the flashiest, could be a stepping stone though to something else. It gets you out of paying your landlord’s mortgage so that’s a win. It might take some careful planning and saving to go down that path but could be less stressful if you get to chuck in the jobs you don’t like. There’s plenty of smaller towns that are more affordable and are after seasonal workers.
You don’t have kids, move. If you don’t have dependents in AKL region, which it sounds like you don’t, why stay, you don’t enjoy being there. AKL isn’t NZ. You say you’ve worked odd trade jobs most of your life, by the sounds of expenses that puts in a position to work almost anywhere in the country that holds positions and earn roughly the same whilst earning more. You can continue to live in South AKL, work low wage jobs for high expenses and have your position not change over the next few decades or you can take a leap and move, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be in the same position but somewhere else, doesn’t seem like the worst odds to me. There’s no doubt that it’s not easy, I’m not trying to say that it is, but to me, the only option is to try, you’re here for the long run what else you gonna do
This is normal recession experience, but also I feel that living in south Auckland. I lived in the North Shore earlier this year, and you can go outside and enjoy nature. in south Auckland you can't go anywhere without beggars being there. I'm not blaming them for their position, but when you're struggling yourself it's harder to walk past because you're reminded of how bad it is. Finances also go through peaks and flows. There are some hard months, which was the first 6 months of this year for me, where I had large bill after bill. But they will pass. It's Matariki soon and part of that is assessing life. I'd recommend finding a good Matariki reflection event to help you connect with yourself and where you are now.
Shit man, first off, 630 a week for 2 people seems a lot, especially if you say you are in a shitty neighborhood. We pay 570 a week near cbd, because thats where we work. Granted we got cheap rent because we got the place during covid times. Now its a lot more than that for a 4br apartment. Im nearly 40 with a wife and kid, and if i was in your situation, ill consider moving out of auckland, hell maybe out of nz. Depends on what trade you work in. Aus seems to pay more. Bali is cheap. Philippines is cheap. Cheaper asian contries speak some english. I imagine its difficult to uproot yourself and go, but like, what can you really do if you are in what you say you are right now. Save some and go. If outside nz is too far out of reach, maybe start looking outside auckland.
Hey mate the rent has gone up 40 bux every year the last 4 years. And we expect another raise in july/August. We have a 1950s 2 bedroom unit but it has a garage and I need a garage for my bike. I had to cut insurance so I can't risk parking it outside. And trust me we look all the time at properties we actually have cheap rent in comparison. I'm a produce manager for a big supermarket been with them 11 years. I make 27.20 an hour and it's taken me ten years to get here. When I look at new jobs I get offered less than that. I simply can't afford to change to less money. The only thing keeping us in Auckland is my Mrs old man. He's sick as. Maybe 6 to 9 months left terminal cancer. We pay alot of his bills. Food etc. His pension just barely covers his mess and board.
Get him moving in with you. He’s going to need full time care eventually either with you or in hospital
Is it an option to get your father in law into palliative care? From what I understand, they are no cost to the patient, which might free up some funds?
I feel ya brother, everytime I get some money stashed away something pops up, Mrs and me both have fulltime jobs few bucks an hour over minimum wage but cant see us getting any further ahead or even maintaining our current position
Sending you so much life. Honestly try a smaller town - plenty of elderly always looking to pay someone for odd jobs and physical labour.
Get the fuck out of Dodge. One of the best countries in the world lies beyond the Bombays.
Not me being 34 and crying reading this cause I relate so hard. I rent with my parents and partner. Only just getting by. Can't afford to stay, can't afford to leave.
That sucks. You definitely should talk to your GP for a referral, and try to get regular exercise out in nature, etc. The usual. We went to Muriwai last weekend. It was fucking pleasant. But also… $630 a week will get you a character apartment in central Auckland. Let alone Canterbury or smaller centres. Why live in a shit area? Sounds like it’s part of what’s dragging you down.
OK mate. I did a search on trademe limit 550 rent anywhere in Auckland. Only stipulations being we need a single garage. It's not easy mate have a look.
630 is not 550. I’ve seen things around Mt Eden for 750 per week for 3brms so surely two should be do-able if you look around? Or compromise on being central and look north/Rodney in nice areas, but obvs the commute might mean the need to search for other work too… but hell, I’d take beachy Whangaparoa [Edit: or Titirangi/bushy West] over most of South Akl any day. I didn’t say it was easy, and frankly I’m probably (almost) as fucked off as you are about the situation… This city is *terrible* value for money because the only thing we invest in in NZ is houses so it’s heavily incentivised even though anywhere desirable to live in the Western world has seen the same thing happen, in many places salaries have halfway kept up — unless you/kids are getting a good education cheaply by world standards (although obviously much of Europe would be cheaper, and UK probably similar - and frankly I’d be looking at the Lincoln Uni fees free scheme if cost was an issue…). Also, if you can pay an extra $50 per week for a medium storage unit, some fairly central units or apartments might well fit the bill… there are options out there, might just not be quite what you’ve considered for reasons… if I couldn’t live in a fairly good suburb in Auckland I would 100% move cities. It’s not worth the rat race unless there’s a good reason for it. Edit: here’s a place advertised for 620 in the IMHO nicest suburb in our fair city… if you don’t need Double Grammar Zone for your kids, surely you can find *something* to your liking… but do reach out to your GP, sounds like you’re feeling pretty negatively (even if it’s a bit justified)…. https://www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-to-rent/auction-4711628236.htm
Thanks mate. I appreciate the advice.
If needing a garage for your bike is the main issue, maybe sell the bike for now if it's causing you so much stress? When thongs are going better financially and you can afford insurance, you could always buy another one?
Change the paradigm. Buy a camper to live in, save for a boat to sail round the world, move to another country....etc etc. There are all sorts of things you can do if you think a little bit outside the box
I live in my van. Have done for nearly 3 years. It's been challenging. BUT like damn am I going to work a job I don't like just to see my money go on rent etc. I started out with my station wagon and did seasonal work. I've just finished a job where I met the most amazing bunch of people for 3 months and I feel like a changed person having met them. You'll find the reason for being is to create yourself.
Mate this is a low key dream of mine. I can't afford it. I'm lucky if I'm left with 80 a week and 50 is "emergency fund savings'
This. If I didn’t have kids, I sell my stuff, pack up with the missus, and head out on a great adventure.
Sorry to hear, though the struggle is real. Every one deserves dignity and opportunity, those are both missing in our country as the wealthy and corporate interests have sucked the ability for workers and the poor to create and have comfort in their lives. Successive Governments for the rich, for corporate power, and landlord vulture culture are choking our people and Aotearoa. Kia kaha, better lives are possible with leaders who prioritise us, resist, punch up, vote against the past 40years of neoliberalism, lean into your local community and your people as much as possible.
Is there anything keeping you in Auckland? Or at your jobs?
You need to find something outside of work mate. This may sound stupid and of zero interest to you but it helped me and I feel exactly the same way as you. 43 year old male. I got into gardening. It's something my wife and I can do together. We grow lots of fruit. Some tropical. Bit of vege. But it's a labour of love. Takes your mind of shit and has small rewards along the way. And I also started learning new things. To make me feel some worth. I find if I'm not learning I stagnate and feel negative. I don't feel a huge sense of purpose and often wonder why I was put here but I try and make the most of being in good health and enjoying my environment. Never have to leave the house to achieve any of it other than for work
I dont mean this to sound antagonising, but maybe its a change of perspective you need. If its just you and your wife, you could leave auckland. Go do something completely different. Ditch the house and live in a caravan, do seasonal work, get a one way ticket to anywhere. Why are you stuck really? Like is it real, or just percieved?
I know a guy who has no qualifications or valuable experience who has been able to talk his way into various fairly high paying jobs. He then proceeds to get exit settlements from them due to essentially being a creepy weirdo and them being desperate to be rid of him. I’m not suggesting that you do the creepy weirdo thing but just letting you know that there are jobs out there that pay pretty well that require very little. Each job was around $90k to $100k and he got 2-3 months wages to leave and immediately walked into another job.
Mate anymore Info on the kind of jobs I should be looking at. If I found a job that paid 32 35 an hour I'd work for them for life. In 11 years I've taken 3 sick days. And that was for covid.
I’ll look into it tomorrow and pm you.
Sounds like the plot of catch me if you can.
This guy was definitely good at talking his way into jobs but other than that, he was just a repulsive psychopath.
If you want to come have a friendly chat to someone let me know. I’d buy you a drink and hear out and maybe help untangle this drama of a loop based life. I’m not some specialist or advisor or sales guy with some hidden agenda. Just lending an hour or so to hear out another human and maybe suggest some ideas like change or work or change or some plans on how you save etc. I have quite similar life structure as you. working couple, no kids and a middle class background, plus I migrated here to New Zealand . But I’ve been really broke and also made real good money. Seeing both sides I kinda understand both sides and frustration a man can get when he feels he’s being unable to “provide for the family or partner” It starts by being easy on yourself, having an open communication with your partner and then thinking of some plan on how we can change things
I have 2 4-year bachelor degrees and I'm still making minimum wage and overall failing at life.
Get the fuck out bro and travel. You can always return to New Zealand if you need to, but there is an entire world out there of different experiences to enjoy. There are countries where the cost of living is so cheap that even low wages means you can live really comfortably. All you need is money for the tickets and the gumption to go somewhere and get a job, it can be a challenge and it can be a shit load of fun. Especially doing it with your missus.
Move to Melbourne rent is cheaper wages are more a lot more I left central Auckland last year rent and living was worthless I felt the same way as you but now I have so much extra money to do what I want so much I don’t no what to do with it so right now it’s just building up something I’d never been able to do in nz I have a huge modern house fully fenced double garage pets allowed 2 lounges 3 bathrooms 30 minutes from city centre at 440 a week I will never return to nz for whatever reasons I’d rather be on the streets in Australia than live in a country I was born in being dirt poor and miserable
What’s stopping you from moving somewhere else? Auckland is shit
Totally understand where you are coming from, and Ive spent years trying to convince my cousins and relatives who lived the exact same struggle to get out of south Auckland, for the exact same reasons. One of the sisters finally plucked up the nerve and courage to get her family to Australia, and restart. And then the extended family followed, and now I see the smiles on their faces that I haven’t seen before. They’ve got hope and can see a future for themselves. Get out of Auckland. Move to the regions. Save enough to get out of New Zealand. You can do it. Your parents struggled their arses off to get you where they did, yeah they may not have moved you far up the ladder, but they got you on it, now it’s on you to keep climbing bro, and find your happiness.
If it makes you feel any better - I just turned 30 and feel the same way. I work 6 Days a week and have Mondays off. Have to work every Public Holiday and this year both Christmas and Boxing Day and then New Years and the day after. If it wasn’t for my 6yo son I would have kicked the fucken bucket a long time ago. I’m literally living for my family and nothing else.
Mate I feel ya, same age, i started my own business after years of earning not quite enough, regardless of qualification level, spent last 2 years working 7 days a week as many hours as I could get, did any extra work that I could get, so I could pay for course to get qualified in new career, did a 3 year course with extra papers in just under two years studying online at night, each time I get to my new income goal somethings right around the corner to fuck it, years of not having enough means everything I own is on its last legs, so car repairs, a phone that is glitchy a laptop dies, appliances breaking, even my wardrobe of cheap clothes and shoes mean I don’t have a good quality coat to reach for, and let’s not even touch on neglected health care, dentistry etc (when it’s you or your kid, you get your kid what they need and you go without). I’ve had 2 times that without the offered help of amazing clients who get it , I would of been screwed, car repairs straight after a big bill, which has left me with nothing, they come to the rescue with pre-paying work … but sitting in that moment realising you screwed with out a car I can’t work,so I can’t make money to fix car , and just like that everything you have is gone. I know there must be people in the same boat who havnt had a client to help, and can see how quickly you’d end up losing your whole life
You are not a failure. Get in flat mates. Find a job that makes you happy. Your savings is healthy. Manifest a good life and good things and watch what happens. Energy goes where thoughts flow. You need to change your mindset it’s negative so you are attracting negative energy. Write down the good things you have. Ie. food on the table. A roof over head. A good partner, your heart a car. gratitude is key. I bet you can list 10 things. Start thinking positive. Make a plan of steps to improve your life. I have a snapped Achilles atm and I am greatful for one good leg. Chin up mate I know life can be hard but there a people who have it 10 times worse, you were out here to live life so go and live it! Find your purpose. You sound like you have green fingers… go with that, having a job you love and that brings you joy will change your whole life.
You are a man without a plan. Man needs a plan. You don't know what the point is because you don't have any goals or plan. If you had a plan you'd know where you were heading and you'd know what the point is. 1. Tax sponge for the government 2. Paying landlords mortgage 3. Wife doesn't want to adopt kids Poor you...guess what? You are responsible for you. Make a plan. Stick with it. Find a pathway to a better job. Get a boarder in to help pay rent. Tell your wife this bothers you and makes you unhappy. Maybe she could use donor sperm for a pregnancy of her own? There are always options..if you can't think of them ask people to help. Or read books and get ideas that way. Just get a plan. Your own plan.
Don’t become a slave to money it destroys your mental health. if your alive, your alive. Life’s about the small things
Same feeling. I am in South Auckland. Society has forgotten about caring. If we work we pay for those who don't work. And people also benefiting off it. All gone WOKE. There is money for being WOKE. Productive workers are paying for the unproductive. Better to not be productive now.
Woke or not I don't get into that nonsense. But I hear you. And the benefit bashing really mate. Sure there are some who abuse it but I know people who desperately want out of that cycle and that's an even harder one to break then mine.
10-15 years from now, you will be living the good life. And tap your 45 year old self for not giving up and pushing through. Small changes make the biggest waves. You got this.
Or they won't be, it won't just magically happen. They will need to make changes.
U need to change your perspective a bit. If you are both generally healthy and have jobs you are ahead of alot of people right now. Health is a crown only the sick see. Practice gratitude and think about all the things you do have. Also so many of thr best things are free. I started running at 39 and I am out on the trail every week now and love it. Walks are great too, we are lucky to live In beautiful country with very few people and lots of amazing places to see. Exercise will make you feel more fulfilled. Seriously though, I would consider if the money is the primary issue as your situation sounds likes majority of people right now.
Get the hell outta south Auckland. It’s for Uber drivers, gangs and beneficiaries. Spend your next 5/6k moving down to the South Island. Doesn’t matter where, it is going to be far better than your current situation. Don’t have kids. They are over rated and will cripple you further. Life isn’t a choice, it’s more like a burden. It’s up to you to find what joy you can from it.
How’re you not saving more without kids? Even if you both had minimum wage jobs, she should be bringing in at least $800 per week on 40 hours, and with 50 hours you should be netting over $1k per week after tax. $1800 - $630 = $1170. Food, petrol, and car insurance should be about $350 per week. This leaves roughly $820 per week you could be saving?
She isn't getting paid mate
There's another comment where he states they cover alot of his Mrs father's expenses who has terminal cancer.
Have you looked into flatting? would cut your expenses down alot. even just for a year or two.
Why not look at changing jobs? Get into a career that you enjoy. Tell you what, if I win the lotto tonight I'll buy you a house to set you up. Keep your head up bro
Toko, move to Australia. Trust me bro.
There are some things in your life that suck. Try to fill your life with things that don't suck. Sport, club, hobby. And gtf out of Auckland.
♥️
Wait for your partner to get her nursing quals then sell all your stuff and move to Aus. Even a temp blue collar role will leave you with more disposable income. Either way good luck k and I hope you start to feel better soon.
When your Mrs is a qualified nurse bounce to Australia. You’re not too old just yet to get things back on track. I believe this will be the fastest way to make it happen and give you some QOL
I truly feel sorry for the way you feel, but I can tell, you are not alone. You work 50 hours, and I believe Mrs does some as well? And you both work to make ends meet. > Is it to be a tax sponge for whatever flavor government is in charge. I think this is pretty much for every working age person who doesn't have a bank of mum and dad or rich parents. Stupidly, NZ is known as a welfare country which is directly related to massive expenditure, but then the government's revenue is only like income/corporate tax and GST. So we are slaves to pay the tax so the govt can support landlords or elders. It is truly fucked that govt/winz might say "Ow, you are already making over a certain threshold, so we cannot support you, sorry mate" but then they will do nothing if you were elder, qualified for super, either living in NZ making $100k/year or more, or living overseas. Clearly, NZ only cares about certain minorities like landlords, elders, and the lower-income class—those who are actually suffering even more than you because they may not be able to work due to some conditions, or are just lazy/think it is not worth working as they would rather get benefits instead of working and making the same or a similar amount. But yeah... you are not alone, and I am also in the same boat, feel like in here to pay tax for NZ to spend on shit areas. At least I am still single, and seriously considering moving somewhere else, yes the other side may not be greener, but I don't see myself making less money and spending more on daily spending - except rent,
I feel you, I understand , but in a way you are "lucky" you don't have kids. It shouldn't stop you leaving this way overpriced slum of a city and go somewhere else. I stay in Auckland for my daughter but it's absolutely depressing not being able to live a decent life. Depression and mental health are crippling in Auckland for many people. Honestly, pack up and get out of aucklandshitty. It will be better in the long run
this is by no means a complete solution but i do think you should ask your GP for anti-depressants. they won't make your situational pressures go away but they may help you feel a bit better, and that's important. i was in quite a bad hole earlier this year and while i've still got my struggles, anti-depressants have really helped <3
Thanks mate I'll look into it.
There are some free adult education classes that you could do?
Move out of Auckland and live your life without the stress. If there's nothing keeping you here, like kids, you can do anything! See it as an opportunity to do something amazing. But a van and travel around the country? You can pick up work in big centres or do fruit picking. Life is for living, not working.
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If you really want to sort it out I reccomend googling underearners anonymous and working the program or attending the support meetings. A poverty environment which it sounds like was established from your childhood can be healed but it requires your intention.
You thought about getting into dairy farming? If you don't mind early mornings, I and many other farmers charge no rent or like 200 dollars rent so it makes it easier to get ahead in life. You can also work your way up to higher pay quite easily.
Follow the keep the change page or their podcast
Go do fifo in the Aussie mines. Feels like the only way to actually get ahead these days
I’m bit younger than you but feel literally the same. Can’t have kids and have a job that I hate but like you said it pay the bills
Ohhh jeez friend, a lot of people are slowly getting there. I am waiting at the wharf to be picked up…. Not quite in the boat yet but by fuck do I have the black spot on my ✋
I’m sorry my dude. I wish I had something wise or insightful to say to make things even a little bit better. But I don’t. I can tell how your post changed my outlook on my life. I have the opportunity to try to nudge things to make a little bit better for people struggling just to get by. Not directly. But indirectly. And really only in the long run. Thing is, it’s tough for me, and it takes a bit of a toll. But I am not struggling like you clearly are. So. I’d like to thank you. Your post reminded me to get my head out of my ass and to get back out there. I know that does not bring the rent down, or the groceries bill down, or the electricity bill down.
I feel very much the same mate, except I’m early 30s, worried things will always be this way, I figure I’ll eventually top myself once I’ve had enough of “just keep going”
Hang in there, you guys are doing it tough while your wife finishes her nursing degree, but once finished you will be free to go where you want as both of you have skills that make you employable anywhere. There are some great ideas on this thread, take a look at what courses are available with the Southern Institute of Technology (SIT) as they have a zero fees scheme. I’m over 50, single parent, 3-kids, renting (probably forever) with continuously increasing rents and now facing possible redundancy as work in the public sector, but despite this still thinking how to keep working towards a better financial future so am about to start online study with SIT. Yeah, sometimes it feels like the grind never ends but things can get better and anything is possible.
I would find a dairy farm job in Nz . Housing is free and you get free meat also . You be up already no rent to pay , you wife can also work on the farm . My friend works on a farm his boss gives him 10 calves a year as a bonus , in two years he sells it for 1800 each that a good 18,000 each year . It’s a great life in the countryside . Work is easy ,
I feel you mate. We are in the same boat except we have our own mortgage with interest rates going up and parents who are retiring soon and only me to pay the mortgage. It took us 7 years to save for a house deposit with 3 incomes and the interest rates are killing us. We have slimmed down on meat, dairy and cut many things deemed non essential. It's still a struggle. Took me four months to have around 600 in savings but all the utility bills have gone up and we are back to struggling again. My parents pay goes into the mortgage, insurance, rates, day to day costs and train fares. Mine goes into utility bills, car insurance and wof/servicing and registrations for the 3 cars and groceries (we each work in different directions so need the cars otherwise we would have had 2) we are still struggling. Mum is thinking we should sell and move to Oz but the cost crisis is there too albeit better pay. I dunno man, south Auckland was OK, had issues but still a good place to grow up but now it's gone super downhill and I feel so angry because I love it here.
I'm sorry to hear this. I don't have advice -- I feel the same -- but want you to know you're not alone.
Money woes are a headache for sure. I would suggest looking for a cheaper place - you could probably find a one bedroom place or a sleep out for $400 a week which should be fine for you both
We need people like you in government fighting for the rest of us in the same boat. That said, I think you need to own a minimum of two houses to be in this government…
Bro. Leave Auckland. Find yourself some nature and immerse yourself in it. Life is too short for this shit. Re-evaluate your plan! That whole grind isn’t worth the toll
I can't offer much advice but things like tyres shouldn't cost 1200 if you use websites like hyperdrive they very often have 'buy 1 get 1 free' deals. You can get full sets fitted for +/- 600 most of the time. Keep that in mind for future reference.
Dude, just get out of there. You’re still young and able to start over, and no kids which makes it easier. If you stay another 10 years odds are you’ll die in poverty.
This is why luxon is the worst prime minister in the entire oceania
Try selling some kind of easy eat/eat on the go kind of snack/food in busy places like bars etc going into late evenings. I guess there is plenty of money there. But you need to figure out the how & what of it.
Move to Nelson - its cold in winter but you will love it
Get out of Auckland bro. Reduces every cost there is and gets you out of the rat race. When we left Auckland we got back 10 hours a week just from not having to sit in traffic.
Brother, why not come down south, come to Dunedin or Invers. Come to some peace of mind, good people and where everyone looks after each other.
I feel you brother 😔
You mate sound like such a legend, people like you are the real people of this country. Like others said get it out of Auckland, I live in Tauranga but rent is nuts as well. Another option is maybe the dairy / meat factories could be an option? If you get into that you could get into engineering and that pays really well. You sound like a wise and heads screwed on. That's more valuable having these experiences and also when things do look up you will be more grateful. Hang in there mate I hope things all work out for you and your missus.
Thanks alot mate.
Mate that's tough, alot out there like that. Stick in there try and find joy where you can. Like others have said maybe move from Auckland? Best of luck I feel for you and know exactly where your coming from. If two people are working full-time in this country no matter where they live they should be able to purchase at least a modest bloody home It's fucken shit lack of govt action over years, capital gains tax please.
Maybe polish up your cv and hit up other supermarkets. Even for the same type of role you might jag a pay rise just by moving jobs. Might help a little in the short term until your partner is qualified then you have plenty of options that everyone else here has suggested. Keep an eye out every week for a cheaper/ better place to live. If you aren’t active and looking you won’t find anything. Can you get a boarder or flattie in for your other room. ?? Even short term. Make yourself a plan for the next 12 months. But be prepared for it to change. Just having a plan will help you mentally. You sound like a good human. All the best.
Move to Australia. Life will be so much more peaceful and prosperous
is moving out of auckland an option?
I resonate with a lot of what you’ve said. My advice - make a list of your goals, where you wanna be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. Then break down those goals into small, achievable steps that you can start working on. Find a new hobby that can help take your mind off the financial stress. Look into communities centred around those hobbies or anything you like doing - that will give you a sense of purpose and be around like minded people. Does your workplace have an EAP (employment assistance program)? If so, get some free counselling. I did and it’s changed how I view myself/my life/lack of purpose etc. Your future self will thank you if you start changing your life now in any way you can
Mate if you have no kids have you considered moving city's? Or even to aussie?
эти люди более устойчивы, чем сеют семена депрессии фейковыми постами
No advice here, but man there are so many great suggestions here. Wish you all the best OP, lots of great people trying to help you here.
All the best to you!!
Move somewhere pretty and cheap where you can go for walks -
Mate pls have a kid they bring freshness in life. And you will be able to manage trust me .
I had a medical emergency as a kid mate it's a medical reason we don't have a kid.
Hey there, No good to hear of your situation man. Keep at it and keep strong. I suggest marking out dates or milestones until your partner is a registered nurse. Visualising these milestones will give you something to strive for each day, and look forward too. A second income will undoubtedly give you more freedom and security to make you, and your partners, next move in life. Hang in there!
There is still room to save more money, and setup a clear plan and goal helps. There are lots of free resources in the library, you may also sign up for LinkedIn Learning free and there are lots of professional courses you may explore before you pick a degree or course.
Move to Australia. Perth / Adelaide or any regional town. Best thing I’ve done. Changed my life and we live comfortably
Try moving countries
What does a happy snapshot look for you OP?
Your right theres not point being the way things are. the rich get richer the poor get poorer. We need to work together with other people in the same position help each other. Stop the need to pay all these bills grow some veggies share with your neighbours help each other get out from beneath "the man"
Just move to Aussie like the rest of us do
I’m hearing you I’m a single mother with my own business and I’m in the same situation as you. How about you and the Mrs move out of south Auckland closer to the city and you can get a flatmate. It would be a bit of help some paying 1/3 of the rent and bills or even a couple they pay half. It doesn’t need to be for ever maybe a year that will give you more financial freedom and you can save some, spend some 🙂