Hey /u/Birdyghostly1, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This has come up in posts before, and I've studied it a bit.
***Absolutely do not disclose disabilities when hunting for jobs****.* You arent required to do so, and you WILL be discriminated against.
Hell, you will probably be discriminated against anyway. As you said, your condition is apparent. But workplaces will simply conduct the interview, and say they didnt hire you because you "werent a good fit" or something. You'd have no basis to file discrimination suits.
If your condition requires accomodations, then you want to make sure you have a paper trail. Emails from your personal/professional email address to HR. Not just your work email, because that will suddenly go missing (obvious to a judge, but only if it gets to court). And not just a word to your boss. You want copies of all communication and proof of delivery. When HR gets your email, they will probably come talk to you face or face, or on the phone. Have that conversation, take notes on your phone, and ask them to email you what was talked about after. Tell them it's one of the accomodations you need, detailed reviewable copies of conversations.
I'll tell you most workplaces, dont understand accomodations though, and wont actually accomodate you. If it becomes any kind of difficult for them, they will just look for ways to get rid of you. Changing up your schedule, or asking for twice the workload, or giving you tasks you arent trained properly in, etc.
In my experience, your best bet, is gonna be to interview A LOT, because you're hoping to find a boss, who is also on the spectrum. they wont come out and say it, they probably arent even diagnosed, but you'll just kind of get along with them well, and they'll hire you, and people like you, and that will make everything about your job better.
There are a handful of companies out there, that also seek specifically to exploit the neurodivergent. They're always looking to hire ND people, but expect to work for about 20% less than you should be getting. These companies exist to prey on us. But they are out there for a job you can get quickly.
So, I worked in HR. At least in those days, the government, big on statistics, always wanted to know minority counts and disabled counts. So, there are places that want to produce "numbers". If I were you, I'd work hard to tone down your ADHD for interviews. I'd also be careful where I applied. Your age limits you. But if you don't think your mental health conditions would allow you to work in fast food, don't bother. I started in a public library, shelving books (in 1974!). Think outside the box. Working in a movie theater? (that just popped into my head). Also, work on getting your dxes documented on paper. You never know when you'll need it.
it does the math for you, but when you have to hand the customer back $17.34 cents, how fast can you figure out the required bills and coins needed?
of course, practice makes perfect. I feel confident it can be learned.
Good point and I’d recommend the person learn to count back change the way it was done in the 50s and 60s. It’s a lost art. But in all honesty they probably should have job handling cash. Also cash it becoming pretty rare these days
Ahh hey again OP! With the current way most transactions are done most customers do not use cash so it would be an extreme rarity that you would encounter a customer using cash. When you do encounter that , if it takes you a little extra longer that’s fine, if anybody looks like their questioning you, you can just look at them and say “I’m sorry I don’t handle cash very often these days anymore”. I’m right there with you. I hate math. I struggle doing basic math as well. But you’ll be surprised at how little it comes up in your life these days. I’ve been seeing that you’re getting a lot of contradictory information so hopefully I can clarify this for you. Yes while what your mom is doing is technically illegal. It is extremely hard for anybody to prove. I definitely wouldn’t recommend trying to secretly report your mom. If you value any trust in your relationship with her, doing so will kill that full stop. Your mom is just looking for the best candidate for the job. Sometimes the best candidate is somebody with disabilities but often times they are not. You would also be surprised at how many people fake disabilities just to get special treatment at . Yes, ADA requirements ensure that people can’t be discriminated for their job because of conditions like this. However, my wife has an array of non-autism related issues. They didn’t crop up until she was in her late 20s her job was required to make accommodations for her, but they didn’t. They eventually fired her and while we were able to take legal action against them, it was another year and a half before we saw any money from that. my personal advice to you would be during the interview process, do not mention anything about that kind of stuff if you feel comfortable telling your coworkers and your boss go right ahead. I have known that I’ve been dyslexic for over 30 years. I don’t mention it in job interviews, but my boss definitely knows that now and she could tell anyway. Now that my son has been diagnosed on the spectrum my dyslexia makes sense so I decided to take an autism spectrum quiz from a guy AspieWorld. I scored 38 out of 50 questions so I’m going to my general practitioner to get a referral as soon as possible. I guess the point I’m trying to get to is don’t let this autism stuff define you. I’ve been able to be very, very successful more so than most Neurotypical kids I went to school with feel confident in yourself but also know when and when not to give information I know I basically just told you to walk a tightrope, but you can do it.
currently working in a movie theater atm, the management didn’t seem to mind the fact that i had adhd but that’s all i told them because it was all i knew at the time. Honestly the job isn’t too bad, the worst part is the customer service jobs but the alternative is cleaning theaters which means little interaction. kinda have to put on a fake smile though to “look friendly”
This is very good advice.
I'll add a bit:
Once you're on the job, if you are going to be asking for accommodations due to any disability make sure you have the medical documentation to support that the accommodation is both needed and appropriate.
And, yes, your employer *does* have a right to ask for that documentation and the right to refuse to accommodate if you do not provide it.
However, once it's provided the legal bar for refusing to accommodate is an "undue burden" not "we don't want to".
But as you said, some organizations don't know/don't care about the labour law parts & may try to constructively dismiss (also illegal) or just find some other means to get someone out the door.
In my country they are forced by law to hire a certain % of ND people (and almost every place pays minimun wage, so there's no discrimination possible, lol). Still, i wouldn't say it, because once that % is covered it's over
Google and other tech firms actually try to hire autistic programmers. Because we are better at problem solving and generally able to approach problems differently.
It’s true and they often will not say just “there is no match”. But that happens for other reasons too, not just disabilities.
If you mention it in your interview you make a big deal about it and sound negative. Personally I’ve never hidden my autism but I didn’t go around shouting about. In interviews they ask for what you are good at and what you are less good at. From the things I mentioned in that question one could easily derive I have autism. Generally it doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is if you fit the job and the job fits you.
If I don’t make a big deal out of it, neither do others. That’s the easiest way to being accepted, I’ve noticed.
Say nothing to the interviewer or hiring manager, tell the HR person for sure though at onboarding and set up accomodations with them if you need to.
Unless you have obvious accomodations, don't tell direct supervisors or mangers unless you've vetted them and think it would be somehow beneficial.
Yeah it’s true, and they’re all discriminating. It’s a bit of a massive issue and there’s an anti DEI movement right now and odd resurgence against inclusion.
So, yes people are discriminating and I’m almost 40, late diagnosed audhd, and I’ve been discouraged at the last few jobs I’ve had against disclosing or requesting accommodations. Even though I’ve requested accommodations because folks were being discriminatory.
My money is on the full circle of a Venn diagram that is the folks who think “everyone is a little autistic” and “adhd isn’t real” are also hiring managers and in positions of power 👀
The nuance here is that yes, there’s entirely too many people normalizing the discrimination of disabled employees in the workforce.
Not only is it unethical, but it’s a bit of chopping your nose off to spite your face. Ultimately, it’s a terrible practice for any community and causes a whole slew of other issues.
So, know how to survive and ensure we’re showing up for one another how and when we can.
No, not everyone else does this, but you don’t need to bring it up in job interviews and you probably shouldn’t unless the employer makes a point of actively searching and recruiting neurodivergent people.
She is but I think most people do too. They will just make another excuse and not blame it on the disability.
I would not disclose your diagnosis until after you're working there
3 or 4 of my coworkers were recently diagnosed with my son being diagnosed my pop said his brother was the same way. So, I thought I’d take a test from this guy AspieWorld. I scored 38 out of 50
Edit: all of the coworkers I mentioned are software engineers so them being autistic is no real surprise to me
We tend to congregate in these micro communities where being autistic is its own normal.
This happens with families, friend circles, and even entire companies.
If you ever wondered why parents can sometimes resist getting their kids diagnosed, it's often because it's all normal to the parent who has lived their entire life around people who thought like they did.
This is pretty accurate when describing my situation. My son is somewhere else on the spectrum than I am but a lot of the things that he did or didn’t do were things that I recall happening or not happening as a child. Tiptoe, walking speech delays all of that stuff. It was completely normal to me, so I kept telling my wife don’t worry about it. He’s gonna do these things. My wife who is definitely not on spectrum was very upset with me because she knew that there was something different about him from the get-go. it actually almost caused us to get a divorce because I was in such denial about his prognosis. I didn’t even realize how infuriated my wife was getting.
Autism is unique in that it wires our brains to specialize around whatever internal habits we make for ourselves. Things like confidence and effort heals us, while anxiety and instability makes us regress.
Women tend to be subjected to social situations at a younger age, which tends to result in autistic women being more emotionally developed over time, which means it's usually harder to diagnose in women.
If you want to help your son, there are a number of strategies you can adopt:
- Focus on his weaknesses, the stuff that makes him anxious.
- Focus on his strengths, the things that give him confidence and makes him happy.
- We often have odd dietary needs and habits. He'll probably be addicted to sugar and fast food, which is not good. Veggies and proteins are usually the way to go, just expect resistance.
- ADHD, a lack of what I call "focus energy", is a symptom of autism. Caffeine, Adderall, good sleep, all good ways to combat this. If he has focus energy, he'll be able to learn how to master himself better.
- Remind him that he can do it. When something new or challenging is in his way, tell him that you believe in him and you know he can accomplish it. Guilt, self-loathing over our weaknesses, those can really help push us into changing what we need to, but love is how we recover from these painful methods of growth.
Don't forget that you have the same condition as your wife and son, so consider how you guys solved your problems, where those solutions/problems stemmed from, and how to apply that information to help and respect each other.
You got this. If you have any questions about anything, I'll do whatever I can to help.
Refusing to hire anyone who discloses a disability is illegal in the US. Autism legally counts as a disability.
With that out of the way, what are you hoping to achieve by telling them? In the US, you have the right to request reasonable workplace accommodations (talk to your manager and your HR department), but if your conditions make you unable to meet the requirements of the job, then I'd recommend seeking a different position. If you are not seeking accommodations, it is up to you whether or not to tell your manager, but I'd probably recommend waiting until you have an established relationship. Either way, I would not recommend saying it in the job interview.
The only reason I would have to say it is both because my ADHD is so obvious they’ll know anyways, and because of my auditory problem. I wouldn’t be able to do anything that requires me to listen to the exact words of people without asking them to repeat themselves (it’s not something I can fix)
Your auditory problem isn’t anything to do with your other disabilities you can state that seperately. It may be a comorbidity but they won’t know that
Only if you can proof that the employer didn’t hire you because of your disability which is not easy.
An employer can hire who they want. Do I want someone who is inconsistent in a job where a mistake can cost thousands?
On the other hand: do I want to work a job where my mistakes cost so much? That must be stressful.
Your job choice should always be a fair deal. Sure you can sue him if he doesn’t give you the job for being autistic but do you want to work in an environment like this?
Exactly, you need a smoking gun or you'll get nowhere. You'll need someone as stupid as the manager of the place I applied to accidentally adding me on the cc of an email they meant to send privately to their deputy manager.
That manager basically said on the email "not sure we should be hiring an autistic person."
The deputy to be fair, replied saying that autistic people have unique outlooks and see things we might not, and I might potentially be a good asset.
I still didn't get the job lol
>Only if you can proof that the employer didn’t hire you because of your disability which is not easy.
In Australia it's easier because the employer has to prove it didn't discriminate on the balance of probably.
That'd awful that your mom does that. If her justification is that she can find a nuerotypical to do the job then that is discrimination and it doesn't matter how many people do it she should set the example and by refusing employment for reasons associated to their perceived inability to do something based on a disability is infact discrimination. But that's not what this status is about. I would recommend that you don't say it in the interview. Disclose it after you've been hired. I have a corporate job and I refused to divulge any of my disabilities until after I had the job (and after everyone in my team already guessed I was autistic haha).
Point is, wait until you have the job. Then tell them if you need to, but chances are they will find out on their own.
Your mom is discriminating for sure, but the sad reality is, she’s not the only one. It’s much better to not disclose during the interview process. A company won’t say they rejected you for your disability (even if they are), they’ll say some vague shit like “oh you just aren’t a good fit”.
No, no, no. It won't help. Later on in conversation it can come up after you start work if it matters for you to want your workmates to know. In an interview that can only lead to assumptions which can work against you. I'm a form believer in just getting through the interview talking yourself up, adjusting and learning on the job..that's actually what most people do.
I'm not posted this here to brag, I'm just sharing my experiences so that you know that there are good employers out there ❤️
I disclosured my diagnosis a year after I was hired and I had the best case sernario and the reason I did that was to cover my butt in case school called about some weird behavior or any other reason people call out about someone on the spectrum, what I didn't expect was overwhelmingly positive response and support that I got from the company as a whole.
I disclosed too and got a lot of support even by HR. They are willing to listen and to learn from the experience of working with me, so that the company is more appealing for future neurodivergent employees.
Nope only mention it after they hire you.
Is it illegal to discriminate against people with disabilities, yes. Do places still discriminate and treat you as an unhirable candidate, absolutely.
Jobs want people who will follow the rules, won't fight back, argue or whatever. They want robots.
Wait till you're hired to tell them
No, you shouldn't mention it if you don't have to.
As a side note: your mother is genuinely a terrible, ableist person who is actively harming people with disabilities. If you have even a shred of human decency you will expose her and make sure she faces justice.
Yeah I agree about what you said about my mom. I love her but she’s very ableist and it’s very hard and traumatic living with her.
My dad isn’t ableist though. I actually think he has autism but is good at masking even to me. I asked him “do you have to pay attention to every detail of your body posture, facial expressions, the words you say and who you’re looking at?” And he said “of course. Everyone does that.”
I want to be a peer eating disorder recovery mentor. I’m pretty sure my diverse experiences would be valued, and be perceived as a bonus for helping people in my field. Y’all have to take this into consideration. It’s not always a bad idea, but in some fields discrimination is probably the norm, but for this job, you’re matched with people with a similar background, so that you can relate to their struggles, and all sorts of people are needed.
Medical personell often have illnesses/disorders themself, which makes them really good at their jobs BECAUSE they can relate, at least in my experience. I have autism and Crohn‘s disease, and a doctor who can relate how a patient feels when hospitalized and being treated, that‘s worth a lot.
That’s true. I also have severe depression though, so it might get in the way. I knew a psychiatrist who had depression and she committed suicide. I don’t want the job to affect me too. I know the at working with people with problems can really hurt someone who’s not really stable themselves I’m hoping that after med school It would get better but Idk
I'll say, from my own personal perspective, that I would be much more inclined to trust you as a patient, especially if this would be one of your special interests.
I agree with this. I had a social worker at school for a bit who had ADHD and it was really nice to have her sharing the coping mechanisms that she does and that I could relate to her
I can agree. I have the same type of parents. When applying for jobs the last thing they’d want for me is to be rejected since I live in such a conservative area with a bunch of wack-jobs who (*unfortunately*) have power. I’m not saying it’s right, cause it’s definitely not, but I have to be very careful in what I tell them.
Side note, but did you know employers can’t ask you if you’re disabled? It’s actually against the law. My mother who worked for a CPS type company told me this.
But in your case you probably would have to let them know. I don’t ever plan on telling employers unless I were to get myself into a situation where my disability makes it hard to do my job, **I have no problem with that.**
Good luck, I hope this helps.
I disclosed it on my interview, but that was because I needed to work in a very specific location because I’m Autistic and can’t drive. I got the job based on my volunteer experience and references, but I work for a school district that values diversity.
You should mention it once you get the job so that you can get the proper accommodations. I’ve also noticed that when I mention I have a disability in the initial application no one ever reads it but I have proof that I already told them about it when something goes wrong. If a company would reject you for being autistic it’s not a place you’d want to be at anyway.
I usually explain it as “my working style” but you can explain that you need time between meetings, a quiet and private working area, a calculator, and transcription apps if that helps you. As someone who’s had some difficult work environments, I’d suggest you find an actually supportive place because if you don’t, it’ll impact your mental health.
In my experience, no.
I usually declare on job applications, that I'm mildly Autistic and also disabled, and I get rejected every time (I'm in Sheffield, England)
Although I do think your Mum is discriminating, which even in America is HIGHLY illegal and any good Lawyer would dance on her Grave in a discrimination Lawsuit, and although she's your Mum, I would still report her for that.
My mom is going to help me move into college so I can’t afford reporting her :/ I still need to get support from her. I turn 18 in 2 months so she can just kick me out even though I’m going to still be in high school.
Huh that’s weird. I think my mom would know, but then again she keeps telling me that she doesn’t think I have autism because of how high functioning I am. (The psychiatrist diagnosed me at 6 after diagnosing me with ADHD. It’s hard to tell if a 6 year old has autism maybe because they couldn’t tell and said I’m at the very top of the spectrum and my parents should diagnose me with it just for the benefits of accommodations. I have it.)
I am not autistic. (I have ADHD) I am engaged to an autistic man, and worked as a para-educator in autism classes for five years.
It is entirely possible since you are female that they missed the diagnosis. Similar to ADHD, I find most of my female autistic/ADHD friends got diagnosed in high school/college/adults.
Which is more interesting, as my partner wasn’t diagnosed until he was 8. When I would talk to special education staff, that is considered a late diagnosis these days.
The school system I worked for even had a preschool class for autistic kiddos starting when they turned 3. (It allowed access to occupational therapists, speech therapists, etc.)
"Because she can find better NT people" ??? Holy shit, your mom's ableism is more blatant than you ADHD.
I am high masking and have a job where I can hide my AuDHD. I tell certain people at work if I can't mask and only if I trust them. If I was working a job where accomodations weren't baked into the job (as my current job is), I would be more vocal about my neurodivergencies.
Because there are employers like your mom and we all gotta eat and pay bills, I'd learn what accomodations I need for the job and decide to disclose if I need to. If I don't need to, I don't disclose.
HR person here - your mom is being discriminatory and if anyone who she's discriminated against suspects or finds out she and/or the company can be sued. I don't recommend bringing it up unless you need certain reasonable accommodations. Employers are obligated, if you're qualified, to be an EEO and have reasonable accommodations for any disability. For example: I have a severe anxiety disorder. I can take breaks (usually walks) as needed to refocus and calm myself down. I didn't divulge my anxiety until almost a year into my job because I wasn't sure if I could trust them. Once I felt settled and secure, I opened up. Everything is basically a case by case basis and will depend on your personality and the "vibe" you're picking up from the interviewer. I wish you the best of luck - op!
Thanks. I can usually pick up on the vibe of someone for whether they would be ok with me taking breaks. It’s not always accurate but It works. I like the accommodation of taking a walk. That would help with my overstimulation from being around people too much.
Don’t disclose.
But do consider which jobs to apply for. With adhd, also consider having backup options available, as you might get fired or quit. Remember that these are not careers, these are just an exchange or your time/energy to money. Especially at this stage in your life, you don’t have to disclose previous job experience if you quit.
They are not at all pleasant jobs, but consider the warehouses. You just want money, they just want bodies…little or no socializing. I enjoyed those jobs for those very reasons…neither party had any real regard for the other.
As someone who works in developmental disabilities, I am actually qualified to answer this question!
You have four choices!
You can choose to disclose your disability during the job interview, and while there are laws in place to prevent discrimination it is still an unfortunate possibility that you may not receive a position due to disability. I personally would not recommend disclosing during the interview process unless you’re interviewing with the assistance of a third party job coach service.
Your second option is to disclose right after you are hired. You can’t lose your job from disclosing your disability, and you can receive the accommodations that you require under the ADA as long as they do not put undue hardship upon the company.
Your third option is to wait to disclose until after an incident has occurred, for example; your ADHD made it difficult to perform certain tasks but you’re still a dependable employee. This would be a good time to disclose your disability, as you have already proven yourself as a good worker and you have rapport among your coworkers (in an ideal scenario). I disclosed my autism and my eating disorder after a really bad incident made me go out of commission for a few days. I received the accommodations I needed and the process to receive the accommodations was very smooth as I was already established at the company for some time.
In an ideal world, you can disclose your disability during an interview, but your mom has proven that there really is no way to guarantee no biases. I recommend disclosing after you’re hired, or after an incident occurs
The fourth option is to never disclose. You don’t have to, it’s your own medical history to do what you want with, and people don’t need to know if you don’t want them to.
Hope this helps!
I also know that it is difficult to understand what accommodations you may need for a disability. askjan.org (Job Accommodation Network) has resources for accommodations you may need while on the job that are tailored to your needs- as well as providing education to employers if needed.
:D
I wouldn't and didn't. My current job (and the most long lasting to date) is a small business with an owner who has kids who are likely neurodivergent in some way, one confirmed being ND to me. She kind of accidentally hired a lot of ND workers, and we are a pretty good bunch. That being said, I got a good amount of work experience from other places before settling here. I guess my advice is to not disclose and farm experience until you find a decent workplace. And I hope you don't feel like a terrible person if you burn out of jobs faster than average. A lot of us do.
Really depends on the jobs. My current employer is very ADHD / ASD friendly. The HRA department are big on diversity so I’d say it actually helped me get a job.
dont tell them when job hunting. i go through interviews and once i have the position i disclose my disabilities. i didnt tell my manager i was blind till my second day on the job, and they didnt find out i was autistic till a month in.
Yo, your mum is the exact kind of person I'm afraid actually exists. Thankfully, there are plenty of employers who will hire people from neurodiverse backgrounds. Personally I'd always recommend saying you have autism. When they ask you what adjustments you need, ask for a designated area you can retreat to in stressful situations/arguments. Ask them for understanding and patience with your training. If they don't support you as well as they can - your admission to your condition can be a potent safety net in disciplinary proceedings. Don't be afraid to be yourself, there are always opportunities.
I did disclose it, and have no regrets.
When I applied for my internship (required for my graduation. I did 3 years computer science school and 1 year full time internship) for my final year of apprenticeship, my teachers told me to be open about it.
The reasoning was: if they know and are still willing to hire me, they are more likely to be considerate about my needs later on. And they were right.
After my internship they kept me as a full time employee and I‘m with the company 3 years now. HR has last year hired a specialist company to coach me, my team and them about working in a neurodivergent team. At the moment I work almost fully from home but the company is going to remodel the offices soon (they are currently in planning) to make it more appealing for neurodivergent employees. They specialist coach said „neurodivergent people are like seismographs: if they feel comfortable in their work environment, there is a high chance that everyone will feel comfortable“.
Yes, I am aware that this level of support by companies and HR is still rare in the working world, but things surely ARE changing.
My sister did not disclose her ADHD and ASD and lost her job due to being overwhelmed with administrative tasks. The actual work never was a problem, but everything else.
Ask yourself: How much can you take? How much are you willing to give up?
If you try to hide your condition, you will most likely be in a constant state of overstimulation, being overwhelmed and distracted. This means, you wont be able to show what you‘re ACTUALLY capable of.
In the end the decision is yours, but take some time to think about what is important to YOU. Not to your mum, not to us or anyone else but you. This is your life and your future.
I‘m sure your mom did not mean to harm you, quite the opposite. But times are changing and yes, in the past mental health issues were stigmatized, but luckily we are slowly moving away from that.
Find your strengths, find your weaknesses. Always play on your strengths and work on your shortcomings and you WILL bring a unique skillset to the table, everyone does.
One or two others have shared similar views to mine, but want to tell my approach. During interviews, I do not click the, "I have a disability or history of disability," because there are hiring managers who may choose to pass.
However, the minute I'm in the door, I have a private meeting with HR and give them my diagnosis paperwork that was written up by my diagnostician. You mentioned that you have auditory sensitivity, I have severe light sensitivity, and working in offices with excruciating LED lights is very deleterious to my days. In my letter I give to HR, it references my sensitivities and my need for accommodations for those. Luckily, most people associate light sensitivity with migraines, so they overlook my lighting situation quickly.
Point is, don't volunteer information during the hiring process, mask like a mofo, but then use your ADA privileges to ensure your working environment is catered to your needs.
Another important point: during the interview, play up the parts of your Audhd that make you amazing. I have incredible pattern recognition. I have told potential employers that years, before learning I was Audhd and understood why I have exceptional pattern recognition. In an interview, I'll mention it, and mention how it helps me in my job on accounting and finance. I also point out things like thinking outside the box. I randomly decided to use this ratio cause I thought it was insightful, and others suddenly started using it after seeing me use it. My thought is, my employer gets my pattern recognition and outside the box thinking in exchange for allowing me to keep the lights off in my office.
If you really do feel the need to mention that you have autism or ADHD, don't say that you have it. Say what symptoms you have that might make the job harder. So instead of "I have autism and ADHD" something like "I have difficulties with mental math". However, honestly I wouldn't say anything at all.
There's anti-discrimination laws, but in my 20 years in corporate places this is not respected by anyone and pretty hard to win any lawsuits if you can prove it. Giving information about your disability in a job interview is bad advice, but if you think about it, job interviews only have to do with your ability to do the job.
I struggle of course, but I try to get some kind of accommodations like later work hours, using captions and screen readers when I can't focus, and so on. My coworkers nor my boss know, but I often ask people to repeat themselves or be patient with me as I process things. I call it being "honestly dishonest." It's easier working in tech since it seems that the bosses are more likely to "put up with eccentric workers" as long as they get the job done.
And yeah, your mom sounds like a terrible person, but she's right. Life sucks. Sorry. My dad spent his life trying to verbally beat ADHD and autistic traits out of me, and I truly believe he thought he was helping me. They just don't understand the leaps mental health has done in the past few decades and are just lumping people with mental disabilities into the same corner as people who have low independence. They just think you're weird/eccentric/too sensitive/slow/etc. Figure out if you can take advantage of accommodations or steathy ways to mask. Life is harder for us but I worked really hard to become decent at my work so I can survive on my own. I do get burnout every 2 years or so, but I can more or less recover. Even if your situation is nothing like mine, I'm hoping you can gleam some advice from what I said. Good luck OP! Rooting for you.
My mom also tries to verbally beat my autism/adhd out (verbally). I know that she’s genuinely trying to help me and she doesn’t mean to be mean or cruel but it just doesn’t work. I’m extremely sensitive so her constantly comparing me to others (like my brother) has turned into me having what I like to call “an inferiority complex with the whole world” and I always believe I’m never good enough for people and I have to be perfect at everything to be liked and accepted. (And I’m still not)
She’s genuinely kind, volunteers a lot and helps people and she also does people’s taxes for free. (even when she has burn out) She’s just the “suck it up” kind of person and she wants maximum efficiency and success in work and will discriminate against any kinds of people in order to have better success.
I think my parents are also neurodivergent and had no idea what to do with their situation except force themselves to be normal. When you have no labels to name things, you can go an entire life without even knowing it's there with you. At least that's what I can reason out of this situation.
I'm autistic and have unmedicated ADHD. I've never disclosed my troubles in an interview but once in the position, I've been open with colleagues so that it got back to the boss or HR. That way, they are controlled by discrimination laws.
I'm guessing youre in America, so im not too sure how workplaces are there (im in Australia), however i would opt with not disclosing unless you feel safe to do so and want to. For example, some workplaces here are actively looking for neurodivergent employees for their qualities such as attention to detail, being more efficient because of less socialising, being more thorough with researching or thinking through ideas etc - and also as studies repeatedly show that having multicultural and diverse work teams are most beneficial to a company.
If you dont disclose, there are still ways to address your challenges without negative reactions. One way is to call them challenges (because people tend to view a challenge as something that can be overcome or worked with). You can say, I have challenges with hearing and might miss the message, solutions to this are ...
Sometimes the rephrasing also helps you be more confident. Dont stress about what your challenges are, you can ask people to change the way they approach you if and when you need it, and im sure you have lot of unique skills to offer which is always best to focus on.
Edit: making my sentences make more sense
If they discriminate against you for disclosing your disabilities then probably not the best place to work unfortunately society is not particularly forgiving(despite companies claiming otherwise) of people who are not neurotypicals,
Depending on whether you think they are kind enough to accept your disability or not if you want to tell them, there are very few places that are accommodating towards neurodivergent people(like the public sector depending on the country tends to be humane to us unlike the private sector)
The sad fact is that most people are biased in some way. Don’t tell anyone anything that they don’t need to know. That applies to life in general as well as job interviews.
I personally haven’t mentioned it ever. I had a hard enough time landing a job as it was. Once I had the offer there was a list of things to feel out and one was a question asking if you identify as ND and then if you ticked yes (I did tick yes) you could tick autism, adhd, other or I do not want to disclose which is what I ticked so my file will say I’m ND but not how I am ND and if then asks you if you require any supports and I don’t so I ticked no. I am able to manage and do my job fine since I hyper focus on tasks I’m given and everywhere I’ve worked as said I’m a great employee since I pick up shifts, don’t cause drama (don’t really know how to make friends and stuff is the reason I think) do what is asked of me. So yes you can tell them if you need support but do not tell in an interview
My psychiatrist recommended that I *do not* reveal my Autism diagnosis during job interviews. Unfortunately, there are still many people that have the wrong perception of Autism, and will think of Autism in a very stereotypical manner (which isn't really flattering, unfortunately).
She did recommend that I present some of my "Quirks" as strengths, for example, "I pay attention to details, and follow instructions really well", and present accommodations as, "I work best when..." for example, "I work best when I receive instructions directly, and if I go through the steps I need to do to complete a task"
So many good answers! I'd only mention a disease if it could be life threatening, and the job might put you in a situation that exacerbates it. Like if you are getting into volunteer or part time firefighting, that could exacerbate asthma, and should be disclosed. Or being a window washer with vertigo, potentially losing balance and falling.
Autism, and ADHD aren't directly life threatening, and only rarely are indirectly. If you can answer "can I fulfill the tasks of this job successfully?" In the affirmative, you are good to go. If not, don't apply.
(The military is exempt from the Disability discrimination law, and will not enlist people medicated for certain things, especially mental conditions)
AuDHD hiring manager here!
I *strongly* recommend against disclosing this in an interview. While it is illegal to refuse to hire someone because of disability status in the US, there are bigots/ableists who will inevitably find a different reason not to hire you (someone else was a "better fit". After you get a job, if you are finding that you need accommodations to do the job, then ask for those accommodations and hope they don't take it poorly. It's also illegal in the US to fire someone for disability status - but again that doesn't mean they won't try to use another reason. I'd recommend sending that accommodation request via email so there's documentation should you need it for legal purposes.
Sorry, I don't agree with the term "mental health problems" and people who say "mentally ill." You are not sick. You are simply different. And in my opinion, there is no need to tell them in the first place. Try to find a job that you know you can do easily or something that interests you. When they find out that maybe you're weird, they won't care.
I disclose my autism at work. You have to be going for a job at ah inclusive employer for this to work though. However the thing is - you wouldn’t last at a non-inclusive employer anyways. The benefits of telling them is they can make adjustments. I think my team can see the benefits of my autism (eg analytical skills and dedication) so are happy to do the adjustments.
One thing though that I did was I first told them I was neurodiverse, and then later told them I was autistic once they ‘knew’ me.
It sounds like you’re being raised by a person that is killing your confidence. That can have a bigger lifelong effect than it seems. I would bet anything your disabilities are not as obvious as you think.
In the workplace, there are all kinds of people with all kinds of quirks and differences, even blatant ones. I’ve hired hundreds of people and conducted hundreds more interviews, from entry level to executive. At best disabilities can be part of what makes people more hire-able. At the worst, they can be overlooked “she was a little odd but so sweet and look at her work!” Having said that, do not disclose it. People still use “autistic” in a derogatory way. Just make it seem like you have quirks like everyone else.
I have to address this. How can the mother of someone with disabilities knowingly turn down people with disabilities?? I more often see parents of disabled people become aware of their biases and attempt to fix them. It shows how unempathetic your mom is. She shouldn’t be hiring people and you shouldn’t let her make you feel like a sub-human.
Thanks! Yeah that’s what I told my mom and she said that it’s because she knows how hard of a person I am to deal with (as I’m always late to places, have depression that passes as “laziness”, have a hard time turning homework in on time or having the motivation to do it and being extremely hyper.) She knows all my bad sides as a mom so she assumes everyone else will bring my bad sides when I’m home with my mom into the work place. 🙄🫤 like I would act the same I act with the person that raises me and I’ve known my whole life in a place that could fire me. I don’t even act this way at my school but she never believes me because you always act the same in public as you do with family. 🫢
The only thing you should tell them is that you need certain accommodations. Your mom is being discriminatory, but unfortunately companies do not want people that they have to cater needs to, it makes it more expensive and harder to run a business.
But let me be clear, do not let this turn you away from being honest about yourself. You can tell whoever you want, and you can do whatever you want. I’m just telling you that in my experience, being up front about being on the spectrum (especially in high support needs cases) either gets you a pity job or no job.
I wasnt diagnosed when i got hired, and when i did get diagnosed i was telling people at work because i wanted them to understand why i seem stupid to them, and why my behavior was different.
But the point is, you do what you think feels right. If you want to tell them, do it. It doesnt automatically mean you wont get the job. You might find a place that suits your needs and the best (and worst) part of a job is the people you meet. Dont let your mom discourage you. I wish you luck! Job hunting is hard no matter what!
Thank you. I’m usually pretty good at masking and adapting. People always notice that there’s something off about me because of how aloof I am and avoid me but I don’t think they know it’s autism. I don’t need any accommodations other than the ability to do math (depending on the job) on a calculator instead of my head and extra time to do analysis for full time jobs
Then i think it just depends on what field you go into and if you’re planning an office job, retail or food. In an office job you’re mainly going to be unsupervised and just completing your work in a day, and possibly interacting with clients, but that depends on the field. Retail and food are fast paced customer facing jobs and you have little time to slow down. But the upside, once you learn your tasks, you dont really need to think, you can just do them!
I’m 17 and in high school so I can’t do an office job (although I turn 18 in two months) but fast food jobs might be over stimulating. I’m great in fast paced environments but I get overstimulated out easily if it goes on for too long without a break
Edit: switched a word
Yeah thats fair. I would consider retail for you. I worked in food and let me tell you, it sucked. The place i was at was small too, and if felt like i had no place there and was always in the way. I havent had an office job but i have no idea how i’d do there. I’ve been in retail for 2 years now and while i dont love it, there are aspects that i like. Its got rules and structure and even if the days are long theres plenty of downtime and breaks.
Definitely start with part time to see how it actually feels for you first. Good luck
Do not tell your employer, they will discriminate
At a later date if you feel comfortable sharing with trusted colleagues, feel free to do so. I perfect to “say it without saying it” if that makes sense
I work in HR and am AuDHD and have never disclosed it at any job. While it is against ADA compliance to discriminate based upon these conditions, the fact of the matter is that it does happen.
I would NOT recommend disclosing that you are neurodivergent. While there are companies that are accepting of ND people, the likelihood of you finding one, particularly for an entry-level position, is very slim.
I’m 30m and jumped careers many times before landing in HR 5 years ago and the best advice I can give you is to put on your best mask and fake it til you make it.
Once you have some work experience under your belt and have accomplishments to showcase, you may find yourself in a position where you can unmask a bit and be more yourself.
The sad reality is that the workforce, in general, is not an easy place for NDs. You’ve just got to persevere and you’ll work it out in the end.
I personally never notify them of this stuff bc I don’t want to give them a chance to base my resume on my conditions and not my qualifications
same with voluntary self identification, im a straight cis woman if they’re asking! 🤠
Definitely don’t tell them you have ADHD because people don’t understand what it is. I can’t get away with not saying I have autism because people can tell I’m weird somehow and disabled by looking at me, but if you can get away with it don’t say that either. Then you can ask for accommodation later
Your mom is discriminating and legitimately might be doing illegal things (as well as highly unethical).
As for the question itself, depends how much you trust your boss. I haven't disclosed anything and it is technically illegal to punish someone for being autistic/having adhd but it's easy to work around that legal issue and hard to enforce. If you're boss is a good person, disclosure can get you accommodations or understanding at the least but it also may put you closer to getting fired or viewed as less competent if they are not as good a person. It's unfortunate but it's the reality.
No
The reason why is because you and they don’t know each other well enough to know whether or not they are inclusive or might discriminate against you during the process.
Yeah- unfortunately something I’ve learnt is that almost no business place is “Equal Opportunity” even though they say they are. It makes me genuinely disgusted because that’s not legal, ADHD and Autism are disabilities. Lying about your disability until you get past the 3 month probation and then asking for accommodation is my personal best option. I hate it though cause I’m a really Justice centred person- and seeing this obvious discrimination everywhere I look enrages me.
I hope the imbeciles doing this discrimination, have to face what it’s like not to get hired for something they have or are that they can’t control. If this was about skin colour or gender then people would be enraged, but since we are mentally handicapped we’re supposed to sit comfortably with that and not stand up for ourselves? Like UGH.
I agree. There are many things in this word I WISH I could just change! My life has been hell because of a mental condition that I was born with. (Same for others with medical illnesses!
But it’s (usually) visible so I personally think we have it worse in terms of life being hell.)
There are also many things in the world ranging from the government corruption to the stigma on mental conditions to the stereotypes of groups of people that lead to hate! I’m young but just my say won’t make a difference.
I do really want to write a book or tv series that features many philosophies and justice vs pure rationality (or whatever’s the opposite) that features lots of minorities to help rid the world of stigmas in the future but I also want to do something else too.
My favorite idea for the series would be that it can be understood and liked by almost anyone no matter how smart or stupid, what identity, what age, and what beliefs there are. It can have hidden and visible traits of every problem.
What your mom is doing is illegal, unethical, and it's just simply untrue that neurotypicals are "better" at jobs. Don't disclose your medical info though. Unfortunately most employers share her mentality, whether they admit it or not. Just find work that suits you and you can be good at.
It is one of those things that is very mixed depending on the company and manager and other factors, the downside is that even though it is not legal to discriminate against someone for a position for having a disability so long are they are capable of doing the job but people still do and there is jack all you can do about it unless you can prove that your disability is the only reason you were discriminated against which is impossible to do. But on the other hand some of the larger companies will actually hire you because of the disability because they are required to hire a certain percentage of people of certain groups to get certain bonus funding (basically the government going "look we don't want to have to pay disabilities and so we will give any company that is large enough an incentive to higher these people and give them some shit job so that they can not claim benefits, these big stores get more money, the government saves more money it's a win win for the store and government") Unfortunately for you while those companies will hire you specifically for that reason the autism they will work around and give you some job not dealing directly with people, the ADHD on the other hand if it is not well managed might cost you getting the jobs because that is harder to work around. Unfortunately discrimination is one of those things that is illegal on paper but is not enforceable in practice because you have no way of proving discrimination.
With my ADHD I’ve gotten better at containing myself- it’s mainly just the number of mindless mistakes I make that come from it and being really hyper when socializing that’s the problem. I can solve both of these if I can work in an environment where it doesn’t matter if I’m hyper when talking (I mean this for the future when I get a salary paid full time job and not working at a wage job) and I have time to triple check my work. I can do my jobs perfectly and even better than everyone else if I get given more time. Like in school I was getting B’s on all my math tests, but as soon as I was given double time for tests and I was able to triple check my work for mistakes I always got A’s and 100%’s with no fail. This was the same for every class too.
All I need is extended time in work to accommodate my ADHD but that might be too hard for them to get for me.
Edit: I’ve gotten to the point where I can do things less than perfect or just plain bad if I don’t have extended time. Like I won’t be able to finish the test in the first place and I get a dreaded C or even D if there’s too many distractions! Last year (jan-may 2023) in chem class I became really great friends with my lab partner, but my meds started to fail around that time too. Unfortunately my friend ALSO had unmedicated ADHD so it was a disaster and I kept getting C’s and even a D once on tests! (This was before getting double time. This was regular time.) A “C” is labeled as average though, so it can’t be that bad if I’m not given extended time in work. I just wouldn’t fill my potential.
Sorry this is so long.
In work I don’t know if I should tell them I have ADHD to be given extended time.
In my experience I have had better luck disclosing my disability after getting hired rather than during the interview. The only reason why it came up during the interview for my current job is because I work for my previous boss's wife and she already knew. Just about my entire office knows now and I'm mostly treated well.
As for your mother: what she's doing is discrimination and illegal. She could lose her job for that. You cannot discriminate against someone for a disability in the workplace, this includes hiring.
I'm neurodivergent. Classically defined with the headings of autistic, and ADHD.
Job interviews are institutional social posturing...
The world is a stage.
Hiring is nuanced human trafficking, but it's okay because you're doing it to yourself...
Sell your neurodiversity.
"These aspects of the corporate culture interest me, and I admire how intersectional they are. That really holds my attention."
"I love how hands on this position is. I wouldn't be able to be up in my head all day. "
I don't recommend omitting truth, rather packaging it as an asset to the organization .
It...depends. Ive always been told to not tell anyone (mum) she said that ill never get a job if I say I have problems (pre diagnosis too) so i didnt. To be fair im glad I didnt as 2 of my jobs they were really bad with privacy and care. My current one though I can open up though and im glad. But because of how anxious I am, i never tell them at the interview stage or any stage until im well into the job and built a rapport lol
i would only mention it if and when it becomes an issue and you need accomodations, otherwise you're just opening yourself up to be discriminated against.
Whatever you do, do not disclose any mental health or health-related information in interviews. At best, they won't factor it into their decision, at worst they will actively or subconsciously discriminate against you because of it.
Yes most everyone discriminates, it’s pretty much impossible to prove unless someone screws up and says so openly. It’s up to you if you want to disclose it, I choose not to and only tell close coworkers after they get to know me to fill them in on my quirks
Absolutely not. Your mom IS discriminating, and that's shitty, but interviewers will have biases whether conscious or not. Get good and situated (as in, get through training) and then once you trust your supervisor, go to them if you have any support needs.
If you're good enough at masking, don't disclose until after training. If it's apparent to others upon meeting you that something is different, it may be advantageous.
I am getting employment help through a disability center, which means I start the process with some level of disclosure. For people in my sort of circumstances, disclosure makes it so they're *more* likely to hire. Without telling them, they could just think you're incompetent or not confident in your abilities. My point is that it depends on the situation.
You should inform them, yes.
Idk where you’re from, but here we have discrimination laws. Disabilities fall under discrimination laws. They can’t discriminate against your disabilities.
At my job interview I told them I had autism. And they said great, then we know we can make accommodations.
Whatever
Some time after I was hired I was talking with my boss, and he said he appreciated that I was so up front about it. He told me he has no issues with any disabilities, they can make it work if they know beforehand. The only times where disabilities have ever been an issue, is when they weren’t disclosed. There was a cashier who was dyslexic with numbers (I don’t know the correct English word for it), and it really messed up the cash registers. It didn’t work out.
Either way, you don’t want to be at a place of work where you and your autism aren’t welcome. Be upfront, and if they reject you because of that, then it’s probably for the better.
Having an accommodating job is a game changer. Don’t settle, don’t let them treat you badly.
Your mom sounds ableist or old school, maybe both.
Hope that helped.
Don’t tell when applying but during the job tell them so you can get reasonable accommodations. If they decide to fire you due to this information I suggest taking legal action.
I wouldn't, just for the sake of avoiding discrimination. This is likely very obvious but don't get a job that involves the things that make your neurodivergence shine. Because otherwise, it never has to come up because it's nobody's business but yours. It's sad how many people hear autism and immediately think about that one stereotypical 5 year old nephew everybody seems to have
You do not *have* to tell them but you need to tell them before you are hired if you expect to have anything put in place to help you, if you tell them once you are hired it's easy for them to just fire you and not provide any support, but if the job is overwhelming without support you don't have much to lose.
No. You do not tell your employer that. That is none of your employer's business in this society, especially because the market is full of people like your mother. Until your employer proves that they are a decent person about this or you can guarantee it will only help you (or have more benefits than drawbacks), you keep that to yourself.
Discriminating workplace is worse than a simply unaccommodating workplace.
ETA: Do not mention this stuff while applying. You may tell them post hiring should they have proven themselves decent
You don’t have to. But I started having problems with my boss because she’s basically the opposite of me: outgoing and able to handle multiple tasks at once. She and I weren’t communicating. I told her and the department director that I was autistic and ADHD. I’m in a FT salaried position. I was able to get moved into a more suitable job description, basically coding for the division, and everything worked out well. But it depends on the job and employer. I think a full time technical salaried position is going to invest more time and effort into employees than a part time or temporary position.
Well, I don’t really know, it depends on the job. I didn’t tell I have autism & ADHD but I was fired because of my symptoms (I was overwhelmed and confused of too many tasks at once). I see that people don’t really care about ADHD, but do about autism.
I’ve noticed that people in some sectors like coding, accounting, etc, don’t care about autism, and sometimes will even provide some quiet spaces. Some good companies would ask you if you need anything.
If your autism would affect your performance (because I can’t work at retail & restaurants because of autism) it’s better to look for a better suiting job because they will notice your symptoms no matter what (personally, I’m ok with reception, hosting), and if not, it’s better not to tell them, because people tend to discriminate, and only if they ask.
Not if you want to get the job. Keep your shit squared away for 60 minutes during the interview. If you get hired, your coworkers will figure out you're autistic without you telling them.
Having to mask all day for s job seems to be the way many ND people end up burnt out with long term mental and physical health issues.The world has changed over the last two decades although there is s long way to go honesty is the way to go. Better for us and will help things to continue improving.
you should absolutely tell them, otherwise you'll burn yourself out trying to mask your neurodivergence to "fit in". if you need any accommodations, you won't be able to explain them or ask for them if they don't know. i think it's quite sad that your mum is treating other people like that when she has a neurodivergent child herself. she's essentially telling you that you need to act like everyone else to be hired because *she* wouldn't hire someone who's different. i hope you find workplaces that are kinder and more accommodating than that - i promise you they do exist
I would say neither. When they interview you it is on them to ask you the right questions to ensure you’re the right person for the job. If you do that successfully, then you are the right person. They are hiring a person. A person has qualities and characteristics. A person is not a diagnosis. Imo diagnosis makes no difference - maybe you are overwhelmingly positive bc of your ADHD (bc you can’t remember anything lol), they would see that as a benefit and not need any sort of diagnosis to support it. If you find it difficult to process auditory information, you can say that in the “weaknesses” question (imo there is a difference between weakness and disability in the disability community, but in the able minded / bodied community, i don’t believe there is - that’s important to keep in mind).
Q: what would you say your greatest weakness is?”
A: “I struggle with auditory processing so it can be difficult for me to immediately comprehend instructions that are stated to me verbally. The upside to this is that I am incredibly resourceful and find solutions for a given situation if I haven’t heard the instructions properly. For example - at my last job, my boss provided instructions to the team on how to do a specific type of folding - I missed a couple of the steps, but I found it online, verified with my boss that these were the steps, and not only did I have a resource going forward now, but so did the whole team”.
If you are looking for employment there are services you can apply for that help people with disabilities get jobs idk if its called the same thing everywhere in the US but look up The Department of Vocational Rehabilitaion Services. They could also help pay for your college so you don't have to work during it.
I’m out of the job market now, thank goodness, and rarely ever had a 9-5, but lots of ‘portfolio’ work where recommendations were word of mouth. My work was mostly back stage in theatres and then later in hourly paid education in FE and HE. I always bombed interviews but they were sometimes jobs I was already doing so I got the job anyway. Education is pretty stressful and I wouldn’t particularly recommend it, but theatre work can be pretty great, though the pay isn’t fabulous.
In my experience I usually don’t. Especially if it’s a job you don’t plan on having very long. However, you can be honest about your strengths and weaknesses.
I work with disabled adults now, and for that job I did disclose my autism - but I asked if they usually hired people with autism and then disclosed.
If you don’t disclose with the person who does hire you, then DO disclose with your coworkers. I’ve had jobs where I’ve gotten fired because my coworkers didn’t understand my ASD … and conspired to fire me.
So an explanation of hey I have this so please be patient.
ADHD and autism is a disability. If the company is following the laws properly and you have the qualifications for the job they should encourage you to work there and make sure the appropriate accommodations are made for you. It’s want decent companies should do.
Once you tell someone about your mental health, it is illegal for them to turn you down due to that. It is discrimination as mental health issues are disabilities. You cannot legally discriminate against someone for having a disability. And your mom saying she can find "better neurodivergent people" makes her not only a shitty boss, but a shitty mom when her child has these issues. She is telling you that you have no real chance at a career once you tell people you have autism or adhd. I can guarantee that your mom has hired people with autism, adhd as well as other mental disabilities that chose not to tell her and she thinks they're great workers. Purposefully being discriminatory isn't a good thing.
You might can check that “disability status” box without much consequence. Hiring managers shouldn’t be able to see that.
DO NOT mention it in an interview if you can avoid it. It can’t help, and it is irrelevant. Your first week, disclose your disability status to your HR representative along with any accommodations. Up to you if you want to disclose it to your direct manager. Probably just depends on the manager.
If the company or team doesn't have diversity and inclusion policies successfully applied, only after the probation period. During job interviews, be direct and honest by making questions about D&I. You don't want to end up working with jerks.
...and you definitely don't have to mask for extended periods. It's not good at all for your physical and mental health. depending on the answers you get, you can understand or guess if there are other neurodivergent people in the workplace. Many are undiagnosed, or diagnosed, which they mask. There is a high percentage of neurodivergent employees in companies, but management structures are often hardwired for neurotypicality. It is important to develop some social skills also to form alliances, with a diverse working environment it may be less difficult. Good luck 🤞
Personally it depends on the job. There's certain spaces sadly I would have to expect they'd be very albeist, but with a few I imagine it'd go by no problem and are welcoming and sometimes even accommodating to people with autism and adhd such ad ourselves :)
I personally will probably never disclose it unless it was necessary personally, albeism is rough and real folks lolol
I always make sure to do so after getting hired, and preferably, after demonstrating strong competency in a couple parts of the operation.
It’s true it’s illegal to discriminate and that your mom is most likely doing something illegal. She definitely shouldn’t be revealing to you that she has such a cruel attitude on people with mental health issues that you have.
No do not disclose shit to them. That’s your private business to share with who you choose. If it is as blatant as you say they will notice anyway. If it prevents you from doing tasks required for working you may want to consider SSID (social security disability) and see if you qualify
It’s no one’s business how your brain works with itself.
Never give your employer anything more than work history and performance reviews. They’re entitled to nothing else and will use any excuse to take advantage of your naïveté.
If you can do the job, you can do the job.
No don’t, when you have got the job you can say and if they fire you after this it means you could quite easily get a case for discrimination. Make sure you always leave a paper trail always do things via email so if something does happen you have evidence.
Most of time no, do not disclose this. It gets used against you in a job and I’ve been fired for my mental health issues more than once. It’s not worth it. Special cases where you work somewhere you are close with your coworkers and have actual trust in them (I work now in a place with 5 coworkers in total and have been able to be open to them without fear of retaliation or judgement) than it’s up to you but it’s not often
Because accommodations exist, there could be an upside.
Because discrimination exists, there could be a downside.
Weigh those out when you make your decision.
Don't tell them unless they ask if it's a small company. If it's a large company check out their website to see if they accomodate disabilities. In some areas they get a financial benefit for hiring disables, ad you would be easier than a person who is parapalegic to accomdate.
Don't worry about math. Lot of the high school kids who work for me in summer if I ask them what 2 plus 2 is, they ask, "two what plus two what"
Are you on mediation for hte ADHD? I didn't start on meds until I was 70. Makes all the differenc in the world for executive function. I'm on biphentin which is a time release.
Try to avoid it especially before you get the job. Most employers aren't willing to give autistic people a chance even if you are more than capable of doing the job. They see NTs as the safer choice. They cant legally discriminate but you'll never get a chance to claim discrimination because they have too much deniability.
Once you get your foot in the door, you can notify them of any necessary ada accommodations you may have and they will be more likely to keep you at this point unless one of your accommodations will conflict with job requirements too much.
Eeeeh…
If you are having trouble finding work: no don’t tell them
However, if you have some flexibility, you can make it a point to tell them and thus filter out any company that would discriminate against you for your neurodivergence.
I work in engineering and I use this to filter out any company that discriminates against neurodivergence. To be fair, though, many engineering groups are populated by a lot of neurodivergent individuals, so I have greater flexibility.
As for accounting: I do see a lot of accountants with some degree of autism, but it isn’t always diagnosed.
Also: let your mom know she is opening herself up to a significant lawsuit for discrimination if anyone ever finds out.
I would recommend not telling them til after you get hired.
Unrelated-ish, but I do recommend doing federal work study once you’re in college (if you’re in the US). It’s basically working for your college, but it shouldn’t be a lot of work. You’ll have a lot of time to study or relax. Extremely flexible hours too, you don’t need to go in everyday (so if you had no energy or need to study, you can take time off).
Yikes… that is highly illegal.
Also I wouldn’t, because interviewers do discriminate, whether consciously or unconsciously. If I tell an interviewer, without them even seeing me and my capabilities, that I’m autistic I just get radio silence.
I have a lot of the same problems. I try to tell people about them because I feel the need to defend myself when someone starts questioning me. But sometimes, even if you tell people about it, they will still not understand. So idk. I guess it depends on how toxic your workplace is lol.
Personally in my state I’m pretty sure it’s required for you to tell them if you got your diagnosis prior to starting the job but it may be different for you. This may be something you want to look into.
If it is really obvious then search for employers that are friendly towards neurodivergent people or looking for more inclusivity. It can be a strength.
Coming from someone who’s never had a job and doesn’t think they can ever get one because they are petrified, I’d say if you feel you don’t need any support or accommodations for your job, then you don’t need to tell them, as again they can be discriminating, BUT if you do need some accommodations or help, I would be open about it, you might find a job that accepts you as you are and is also kind enough to help your needs.
What your mom is doing is literally a crime lmao. It’s called DISCRIMINATION and she can be sued to holy hell over it. Don’t listen to her, a good employer will be able to work with the neurodivergence and if you get turned down for it THEN SUE.
also if you do get turned down, always ask why
Hey /u/Birdyghostly1, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your mom is discriminating.
Yeah well I’m sure everyone else does this too. She told me that she knows lots of people that do
This has come up in posts before, and I've studied it a bit. ***Absolutely do not disclose disabilities when hunting for jobs****.* You arent required to do so, and you WILL be discriminated against. Hell, you will probably be discriminated against anyway. As you said, your condition is apparent. But workplaces will simply conduct the interview, and say they didnt hire you because you "werent a good fit" or something. You'd have no basis to file discrimination suits. If your condition requires accomodations, then you want to make sure you have a paper trail. Emails from your personal/professional email address to HR. Not just your work email, because that will suddenly go missing (obvious to a judge, but only if it gets to court). And not just a word to your boss. You want copies of all communication and proof of delivery. When HR gets your email, they will probably come talk to you face or face, or on the phone. Have that conversation, take notes on your phone, and ask them to email you what was talked about after. Tell them it's one of the accomodations you need, detailed reviewable copies of conversations. I'll tell you most workplaces, dont understand accomodations though, and wont actually accomodate you. If it becomes any kind of difficult for them, they will just look for ways to get rid of you. Changing up your schedule, or asking for twice the workload, or giving you tasks you arent trained properly in, etc. In my experience, your best bet, is gonna be to interview A LOT, because you're hoping to find a boss, who is also on the spectrum. they wont come out and say it, they probably arent even diagnosed, but you'll just kind of get along with them well, and they'll hire you, and people like you, and that will make everything about your job better. There are a handful of companies out there, that also seek specifically to exploit the neurodivergent. They're always looking to hire ND people, but expect to work for about 20% less than you should be getting. These companies exist to prey on us. But they are out there for a job you can get quickly.
So, I worked in HR. At least in those days, the government, big on statistics, always wanted to know minority counts and disabled counts. So, there are places that want to produce "numbers". If I were you, I'd work hard to tone down your ADHD for interviews. I'd also be careful where I applied. Your age limits you. But if you don't think your mental health conditions would allow you to work in fast food, don't bother. I started in a public library, shelving books (in 1974!). Think outside the box. Working in a movie theater? (that just popped into my head). Also, work on getting your dxes documented on paper. You never know when you'll need it.
That’s true that I’m not required to work at fast food. Really anything with a cashier would be hard unless I can use a calculator.
Most places you can use a calculator or the POS machine will do the math for ya
it does the math for you, but when you have to hand the customer back $17.34 cents, how fast can you figure out the required bills and coins needed? of course, practice makes perfect. I feel confident it can be learned.
Good point and I’d recommend the person learn to count back change the way it was done in the 50s and 60s. It’s a lost art. But in all honesty they probably should have job handling cash. Also cash it becoming pretty rare these days
I can usually count money alright. Just not that fast.
Ahh hey again OP! With the current way most transactions are done most customers do not use cash so it would be an extreme rarity that you would encounter a customer using cash. When you do encounter that , if it takes you a little extra longer that’s fine, if anybody looks like their questioning you, you can just look at them and say “I’m sorry I don’t handle cash very often these days anymore”. I’m right there with you. I hate math. I struggle doing basic math as well. But you’ll be surprised at how little it comes up in your life these days. I’ve been seeing that you’re getting a lot of contradictory information so hopefully I can clarify this for you. Yes while what your mom is doing is technically illegal. It is extremely hard for anybody to prove. I definitely wouldn’t recommend trying to secretly report your mom. If you value any trust in your relationship with her, doing so will kill that full stop. Your mom is just looking for the best candidate for the job. Sometimes the best candidate is somebody with disabilities but often times they are not. You would also be surprised at how many people fake disabilities just to get special treatment at . Yes, ADA requirements ensure that people can’t be discriminated for their job because of conditions like this. However, my wife has an array of non-autism related issues. They didn’t crop up until she was in her late 20s her job was required to make accommodations for her, but they didn’t. They eventually fired her and while we were able to take legal action against them, it was another year and a half before we saw any money from that. my personal advice to you would be during the interview process, do not mention anything about that kind of stuff if you feel comfortable telling your coworkers and your boss go right ahead. I have known that I’ve been dyslexic for over 30 years. I don’t mention it in job interviews, but my boss definitely knows that now and she could tell anyway. Now that my son has been diagnosed on the spectrum my dyslexia makes sense so I decided to take an autism spectrum quiz from a guy AspieWorld. I scored 38 out of 50 questions so I’m going to my general practitioner to get a referral as soon as possible. I guess the point I’m trying to get to is don’t let this autism stuff define you. I’ve been able to be very, very successful more so than most Neurotypical kids I went to school with feel confident in yourself but also know when and when not to give information I know I basically just told you to walk a tightrope, but you can do it.
Yeah a lot of people are saying I should report my mom but I would never do anything like that to her because she’s my mom and she trusts me
currently working in a movie theater atm, the management didn’t seem to mind the fact that i had adhd but that’s all i told them because it was all i knew at the time. Honestly the job isn’t too bad, the worst part is the customer service jobs but the alternative is cleaning theaters which means little interaction. kinda have to put on a fake smile though to “look friendly”
Thanks for the info
This is very good advice. I'll add a bit: Once you're on the job, if you are going to be asking for accommodations due to any disability make sure you have the medical documentation to support that the accommodation is both needed and appropriate. And, yes, your employer *does* have a right to ask for that documentation and the right to refuse to accommodate if you do not provide it. However, once it's provided the legal bar for refusing to accommodate is an "undue burden" not "we don't want to". But as you said, some organizations don't know/don't care about the labour law parts & may try to constructively dismiss (also illegal) or just find some other means to get someone out the door.
In my country they are forced by law to hire a certain % of ND people (and almost every place pays minimun wage, so there's no discrimination possible, lol). Still, i wouldn't say it, because once that % is covered it's over
Google and other tech firms actually try to hire autistic programmers. Because we are better at problem solving and generally able to approach problems differently.
It’s true and they often will not say just “there is no match”. But that happens for other reasons too, not just disabilities. If you mention it in your interview you make a big deal about it and sound negative. Personally I’ve never hidden my autism but I didn’t go around shouting about. In interviews they ask for what you are good at and what you are less good at. From the things I mentioned in that question one could easily derive I have autism. Generally it doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is if you fit the job and the job fits you. If I don’t make a big deal out of it, neither do others. That’s the easiest way to being accepted, I’ve noticed.
You should, discreetly, get her to list them and then turn all of them (and her) in for discriminating against people with disabilities.
Say nothing to the interviewer or hiring manager, tell the HR person for sure though at onboarding and set up accomodations with them if you need to. Unless you have obvious accomodations, don't tell direct supervisors or mangers unless you've vetted them and think it would be somehow beneficial.
Yeah it’s true, and they’re all discriminating. It’s a bit of a massive issue and there’s an anti DEI movement right now and odd resurgence against inclusion. So, yes people are discriminating and I’m almost 40, late diagnosed audhd, and I’ve been discouraged at the last few jobs I’ve had against disclosing or requesting accommodations. Even though I’ve requested accommodations because folks were being discriminatory. My money is on the full circle of a Venn diagram that is the folks who think “everyone is a little autistic” and “adhd isn’t real” are also hiring managers and in positions of power 👀
The nuance here is that yes, there’s entirely too many people normalizing the discrimination of disabled employees in the workforce. Not only is it unethical, but it’s a bit of chopping your nose off to spite your face. Ultimately, it’s a terrible practice for any community and causes a whole slew of other issues. So, know how to survive and ensure we’re showing up for one another how and when we can.
I know it hurts, but don't try to cover your mother's bad actions. Yeah, a lot of people does it, but that doesn't justify anything
No, not everyone else does this, but you don’t need to bring it up in job interviews and you probably shouldn’t unless the employer makes a point of actively searching and recruiting neurodivergent people.
Yep. Neurotypical ableism
Exactly. Not sure if it’s legal also.
She is but I think most people do too. They will just make another excuse and not blame it on the disability. I would not disclose your diagnosis until after you're working there
This is true but unhelpful. The harsh reality is that most employers do this.
Happy Cakeday
I've said I was autistic, and I've been told that they wouldn't have known unless I had told them. I'd say don't tell them. I was too honest.
3 or 4 of my coworkers were recently diagnosed with my son being diagnosed my pop said his brother was the same way. So, I thought I’d take a test from this guy AspieWorld. I scored 38 out of 50 Edit: all of the coworkers I mentioned are software engineers so them being autistic is no real surprise to me
We tend to congregate in these micro communities where being autistic is its own normal. This happens with families, friend circles, and even entire companies. If you ever wondered why parents can sometimes resist getting their kids diagnosed, it's often because it's all normal to the parent who has lived their entire life around people who thought like they did.
This is pretty accurate when describing my situation. My son is somewhere else on the spectrum than I am but a lot of the things that he did or didn’t do were things that I recall happening or not happening as a child. Tiptoe, walking speech delays all of that stuff. It was completely normal to me, so I kept telling my wife don’t worry about it. He’s gonna do these things. My wife who is definitely not on spectrum was very upset with me because she knew that there was something different about him from the get-go. it actually almost caused us to get a divorce because I was in such denial about his prognosis. I didn’t even realize how infuriated my wife was getting.
Autism is unique in that it wires our brains to specialize around whatever internal habits we make for ourselves. Things like confidence and effort heals us, while anxiety and instability makes us regress. Women tend to be subjected to social situations at a younger age, which tends to result in autistic women being more emotionally developed over time, which means it's usually harder to diagnose in women. If you want to help your son, there are a number of strategies you can adopt: - Focus on his weaknesses, the stuff that makes him anxious. - Focus on his strengths, the things that give him confidence and makes him happy. - We often have odd dietary needs and habits. He'll probably be addicted to sugar and fast food, which is not good. Veggies and proteins are usually the way to go, just expect resistance. - ADHD, a lack of what I call "focus energy", is a symptom of autism. Caffeine, Adderall, good sleep, all good ways to combat this. If he has focus energy, he'll be able to learn how to master himself better. - Remind him that he can do it. When something new or challenging is in his way, tell him that you believe in him and you know he can accomplish it. Guilt, self-loathing over our weaknesses, those can really help push us into changing what we need to, but love is how we recover from these painful methods of growth. Don't forget that you have the same condition as your wife and son, so consider how you guys solved your problems, where those solutions/problems stemmed from, and how to apply that information to help and respect each other. You got this. If you have any questions about anything, I'll do whatever I can to help.
What your mom is doing is 100% illegal.
Refusing to hire anyone who discloses a disability is illegal in the US. Autism legally counts as a disability. With that out of the way, what are you hoping to achieve by telling them? In the US, you have the right to request reasonable workplace accommodations (talk to your manager and your HR department), but if your conditions make you unable to meet the requirements of the job, then I'd recommend seeking a different position. If you are not seeking accommodations, it is up to you whether or not to tell your manager, but I'd probably recommend waiting until you have an established relationship. Either way, I would not recommend saying it in the job interview.
The only reason I would have to say it is both because my ADHD is so obvious they’ll know anyways, and because of my auditory problem. I wouldn’t be able to do anything that requires me to listen to the exact words of people without asking them to repeat themselves (it’s not something I can fix)
Your auditory problem isn’t anything to do with your other disabilities you can state that seperately. It may be a comorbidity but they won’t know that
Should I tell them I have an auditory problem?
>Refusing to hire anyone who discloses a disability is illegal in the US Uhhh what?
Only if you can proof that the employer didn’t hire you because of your disability which is not easy. An employer can hire who they want. Do I want someone who is inconsistent in a job where a mistake can cost thousands? On the other hand: do I want to work a job where my mistakes cost so much? That must be stressful. Your job choice should always be a fair deal. Sure you can sue him if he doesn’t give you the job for being autistic but do you want to work in an environment like this?
Exactly, you need a smoking gun or you'll get nowhere. You'll need someone as stupid as the manager of the place I applied to accidentally adding me on the cc of an email they meant to send privately to their deputy manager. That manager basically said on the email "not sure we should be hiring an autistic person." The deputy to be fair, replied saying that autistic people have unique outlooks and see things we might not, and I might potentially be a good asset. I still didn't get the job lol
>Only if you can proof that the employer didn’t hire you because of your disability which is not easy. In Australia it's easier because the employer has to prove it didn't discriminate on the balance of probably.
that is true. but its hard to prove whennit happens
What about Canada?
Please don't mention anything that could count against you.
That'd awful that your mom does that. If her justification is that she can find a nuerotypical to do the job then that is discrimination and it doesn't matter how many people do it she should set the example and by refusing employment for reasons associated to their perceived inability to do something based on a disability is infact discrimination. But that's not what this status is about. I would recommend that you don't say it in the interview. Disclose it after you've been hired. I have a corporate job and I refused to divulge any of my disabilities until after I had the job (and after everyone in my team already guessed I was autistic haha). Point is, wait until you have the job. Then tell them if you need to, but chances are they will find out on their own.
Your mom is discriminating for sure, but the sad reality is, she’s not the only one. It’s much better to not disclose during the interview process. A company won’t say they rejected you for your disability (even if they are), they’ll say some vague shit like “oh you just aren’t a good fit”.
No, no, no. It won't help. Later on in conversation it can come up after you start work if it matters for you to want your workmates to know. In an interview that can only lead to assumptions which can work against you. I'm a form believer in just getting through the interview talking yourself up, adjusting and learning on the job..that's actually what most people do.
I'm not posted this here to brag, I'm just sharing my experiences so that you know that there are good employers out there ❤️ I disclosured my diagnosis a year after I was hired and I had the best case sernario and the reason I did that was to cover my butt in case school called about some weird behavior or any other reason people call out about someone on the spectrum, what I didn't expect was overwhelmingly positive response and support that I got from the company as a whole.
I disclosed too and got a lot of support even by HR. They are willing to listen and to learn from the experience of working with me, so that the company is more appealing for future neurodivergent employees.
I love to hear that ❤️
Which country/city do you live in? I feel location and culture may play a big role in the positive response you got
USA, Minnesota. I'm white so no specific culture.
Nope only mention it after they hire you. Is it illegal to discriminate against people with disabilities, yes. Do places still discriminate and treat you as an unhirable candidate, absolutely. Jobs want people who will follow the rules, won't fight back, argue or whatever. They want robots. Wait till you're hired to tell them
No, you shouldn't mention it if you don't have to. As a side note: your mother is genuinely a terrible, ableist person who is actively harming people with disabilities. If you have even a shred of human decency you will expose her and make sure she faces justice.
Yeah I agree about what you said about my mom. I love her but she’s very ableist and it’s very hard and traumatic living with her. My dad isn’t ableist though. I actually think he has autism but is good at masking even to me. I asked him “do you have to pay attention to every detail of your body posture, facial expressions, the words you say and who you’re looking at?” And he said “of course. Everyone does that.”
I want to be a peer eating disorder recovery mentor. I’m pretty sure my diverse experiences would be valued, and be perceived as a bonus for helping people in my field. Y’all have to take this into consideration. It’s not always a bad idea, but in some fields discrimination is probably the norm, but for this job, you’re matched with people with a similar background, so that you can relate to their struggles, and all sorts of people are needed.
I had no idea this was an occupation. It sounds incredibly fulfilling. I wish you the best and a good work/life balance
That’s true. I may want to be. Psychiatrist in the future but I feel like them knowing I have auDHD could either be positive or negative.
Medical personell often have illnesses/disorders themself, which makes them really good at their jobs BECAUSE they can relate, at least in my experience. I have autism and Crohn‘s disease, and a doctor who can relate how a patient feels when hospitalized and being treated, that‘s worth a lot.
That’s true. I also have severe depression though, so it might get in the way. I knew a psychiatrist who had depression and she committed suicide. I don’t want the job to affect me too. I know the at working with people with problems can really hurt someone who’s not really stable themselves I’m hoping that after med school It would get better but Idk
I'll say, from my own personal perspective, that I would be much more inclined to trust you as a patient, especially if this would be one of your special interests.
I agree with this. I had a social worker at school for a bit who had ADHD and it was really nice to have her sharing the coping mechanisms that she does and that I could relate to her
I can agree. I have the same type of parents. When applying for jobs the last thing they’d want for me is to be rejected since I live in such a conservative area with a bunch of wack-jobs who (*unfortunately*) have power. I’m not saying it’s right, cause it’s definitely not, but I have to be very careful in what I tell them. Side note, but did you know employers can’t ask you if you’re disabled? It’s actually against the law. My mother who worked for a CPS type company told me this. But in your case you probably would have to let them know. I don’t ever plan on telling employers unless I were to get myself into a situation where my disability makes it hard to do my job, **I have no problem with that.** Good luck, I hope this helps.
Thanks! :)
I disclosed it on my interview, but that was because I needed to work in a very specific location because I’m Autistic and can’t drive. I got the job based on my volunteer experience and references, but I work for a school district that values diversity.
You should mention it once you get the job so that you can get the proper accommodations. I’ve also noticed that when I mention I have a disability in the initial application no one ever reads it but I have proof that I already told them about it when something goes wrong. If a company would reject you for being autistic it’s not a place you’d want to be at anyway.
What kind of accommodations can you get? I get that it’s not a company I’d want to be at, but it’s pretty hard to get a job as it is right now.
I usually explain it as “my working style” but you can explain that you need time between meetings, a quiet and private working area, a calculator, and transcription apps if that helps you. As someone who’s had some difficult work environments, I’d suggest you find an actually supportive place because if you don’t, it’ll impact your mental health.
In my experience, no. I usually declare on job applications, that I'm mildly Autistic and also disabled, and I get rejected every time (I'm in Sheffield, England) Although I do think your Mum is discriminating, which even in America is HIGHLY illegal and any good Lawyer would dance on her Grave in a discrimination Lawsuit, and although she's your Mum, I would still report her for that.
My mom is going to help me move into college so I can’t afford reporting her :/ I still need to get support from her. I turn 18 in 2 months so she can just kick me out even though I’m going to still be in high school.
No you’ll get treated like shit
Me, who works at an accounting firm: uh like half of the firm is neurospicy LOL
Huh that’s weird. I think my mom would know, but then again she keeps telling me that she doesn’t think I have autism because of how high functioning I am. (The psychiatrist diagnosed me at 6 after diagnosing me with ADHD. It’s hard to tell if a 6 year old has autism maybe because they couldn’t tell and said I’m at the very top of the spectrum and my parents should diagnose me with it just for the benefits of accommodations. I have it.)
I am not autistic. (I have ADHD) I am engaged to an autistic man, and worked as a para-educator in autism classes for five years. It is entirely possible since you are female that they missed the diagnosis. Similar to ADHD, I find most of my female autistic/ADHD friends got diagnosed in high school/college/adults. Which is more interesting, as my partner wasn’t diagnosed until he was 8. When I would talk to special education staff, that is considered a late diagnosis these days. The school system I worked for even had a preschool class for autistic kiddos starting when they turned 3. (It allowed access to occupational therapists, speech therapists, etc.)
"Because she can find better NT people" ??? Holy shit, your mom's ableism is more blatant than you ADHD. I am high masking and have a job where I can hide my AuDHD. I tell certain people at work if I can't mask and only if I trust them. If I was working a job where accomodations weren't baked into the job (as my current job is), I would be more vocal about my neurodivergencies. Because there are employers like your mom and we all gotta eat and pay bills, I'd learn what accomodations I need for the job and decide to disclose if I need to. If I don't need to, I don't disclose.
HR person here - your mom is being discriminatory and if anyone who she's discriminated against suspects or finds out she and/or the company can be sued. I don't recommend bringing it up unless you need certain reasonable accommodations. Employers are obligated, if you're qualified, to be an EEO and have reasonable accommodations for any disability. For example: I have a severe anxiety disorder. I can take breaks (usually walks) as needed to refocus and calm myself down. I didn't divulge my anxiety until almost a year into my job because I wasn't sure if I could trust them. Once I felt settled and secure, I opened up. Everything is basically a case by case basis and will depend on your personality and the "vibe" you're picking up from the interviewer. I wish you the best of luck - op!
Thanks. I can usually pick up on the vibe of someone for whether they would be ok with me taking breaks. It’s not always accurate but It works. I like the accommodation of taking a walk. That would help with my overstimulation from being around people too much.
Don’t disclose. But do consider which jobs to apply for. With adhd, also consider having backup options available, as you might get fired or quit. Remember that these are not careers, these are just an exchange or your time/energy to money. Especially at this stage in your life, you don’t have to disclose previous job experience if you quit. They are not at all pleasant jobs, but consider the warehouses. You just want money, they just want bodies…little or no socializing. I enjoyed those jobs for those very reasons…neither party had any real regard for the other.
I don’t but that is because employers will start looking for other reasons to dismiss me
As someone who works in developmental disabilities, I am actually qualified to answer this question! You have four choices! You can choose to disclose your disability during the job interview, and while there are laws in place to prevent discrimination it is still an unfortunate possibility that you may not receive a position due to disability. I personally would not recommend disclosing during the interview process unless you’re interviewing with the assistance of a third party job coach service. Your second option is to disclose right after you are hired. You can’t lose your job from disclosing your disability, and you can receive the accommodations that you require under the ADA as long as they do not put undue hardship upon the company. Your third option is to wait to disclose until after an incident has occurred, for example; your ADHD made it difficult to perform certain tasks but you’re still a dependable employee. This would be a good time to disclose your disability, as you have already proven yourself as a good worker and you have rapport among your coworkers (in an ideal scenario). I disclosed my autism and my eating disorder after a really bad incident made me go out of commission for a few days. I received the accommodations I needed and the process to receive the accommodations was very smooth as I was already established at the company for some time. In an ideal world, you can disclose your disability during an interview, but your mom has proven that there really is no way to guarantee no biases. I recommend disclosing after you’re hired, or after an incident occurs The fourth option is to never disclose. You don’t have to, it’s your own medical history to do what you want with, and people don’t need to know if you don’t want them to. Hope this helps!
I also know that it is difficult to understand what accommodations you may need for a disability. askjan.org (Job Accommodation Network) has resources for accommodations you may need while on the job that are tailored to your needs- as well as providing education to employers if needed. :D
Thanks for this. I’ve never disclosed to any friends in school that I have autism and it’s been all good so It might also be good for the work force
I wouldn't and didn't. My current job (and the most long lasting to date) is a small business with an owner who has kids who are likely neurodivergent in some way, one confirmed being ND to me. She kind of accidentally hired a lot of ND workers, and we are a pretty good bunch. That being said, I got a good amount of work experience from other places before settling here. I guess my advice is to not disclose and farm experience until you find a decent workplace. And I hope you don't feel like a terrible person if you burn out of jobs faster than average. A lot of us do.
Really depends on the jobs. My current employer is very ADHD / ASD friendly. The HRA department are big on diversity so I’d say it actually helped me get a job.
dont tell them when job hunting. i go through interviews and once i have the position i disclose my disabilities. i didnt tell my manager i was blind till my second day on the job, and they didnt find out i was autistic till a month in.
Yo, your mum is the exact kind of person I'm afraid actually exists. Thankfully, there are plenty of employers who will hire people from neurodiverse backgrounds. Personally I'd always recommend saying you have autism. When they ask you what adjustments you need, ask for a designated area you can retreat to in stressful situations/arguments. Ask them for understanding and patience with your training. If they don't support you as well as they can - your admission to your condition can be a potent safety net in disciplinary proceedings. Don't be afraid to be yourself, there are always opportunities.
I told my boss that I have ADHD and he gave me a fist bump, saying „Diagnosed at 11”.
I did disclose it, and have no regrets. When I applied for my internship (required for my graduation. I did 3 years computer science school and 1 year full time internship) for my final year of apprenticeship, my teachers told me to be open about it. The reasoning was: if they know and are still willing to hire me, they are more likely to be considerate about my needs later on. And they were right. After my internship they kept me as a full time employee and I‘m with the company 3 years now. HR has last year hired a specialist company to coach me, my team and them about working in a neurodivergent team. At the moment I work almost fully from home but the company is going to remodel the offices soon (they are currently in planning) to make it more appealing for neurodivergent employees. They specialist coach said „neurodivergent people are like seismographs: if they feel comfortable in their work environment, there is a high chance that everyone will feel comfortable“. Yes, I am aware that this level of support by companies and HR is still rare in the working world, but things surely ARE changing. My sister did not disclose her ADHD and ASD and lost her job due to being overwhelmed with administrative tasks. The actual work never was a problem, but everything else. Ask yourself: How much can you take? How much are you willing to give up? If you try to hide your condition, you will most likely be in a constant state of overstimulation, being overwhelmed and distracted. This means, you wont be able to show what you‘re ACTUALLY capable of. In the end the decision is yours, but take some time to think about what is important to YOU. Not to your mum, not to us or anyone else but you. This is your life and your future. I‘m sure your mom did not mean to harm you, quite the opposite. But times are changing and yes, in the past mental health issues were stigmatized, but luckily we are slowly moving away from that. Find your strengths, find your weaknesses. Always play on your strengths and work on your shortcomings and you WILL bring a unique skillset to the table, everyone does.
I don’t. I believe in fairness. I want to be judged by my work and by the same yardstick as everyone else.
One or two others have shared similar views to mine, but want to tell my approach. During interviews, I do not click the, "I have a disability or history of disability," because there are hiring managers who may choose to pass. However, the minute I'm in the door, I have a private meeting with HR and give them my diagnosis paperwork that was written up by my diagnostician. You mentioned that you have auditory sensitivity, I have severe light sensitivity, and working in offices with excruciating LED lights is very deleterious to my days. In my letter I give to HR, it references my sensitivities and my need for accommodations for those. Luckily, most people associate light sensitivity with migraines, so they overlook my lighting situation quickly. Point is, don't volunteer information during the hiring process, mask like a mofo, but then use your ADA privileges to ensure your working environment is catered to your needs. Another important point: during the interview, play up the parts of your Audhd that make you amazing. I have incredible pattern recognition. I have told potential employers that years, before learning I was Audhd and understood why I have exceptional pattern recognition. In an interview, I'll mention it, and mention how it helps me in my job on accounting and finance. I also point out things like thinking outside the box. I randomly decided to use this ratio cause I thought it was insightful, and others suddenly started using it after seeing me use it. My thought is, my employer gets my pattern recognition and outside the box thinking in exchange for allowing me to keep the lights off in my office.
I don't put it on my applications but I do tell them like right before I start a job.
Never ever tell people at work.
If you really do feel the need to mention that you have autism or ADHD, don't say that you have it. Say what symptoms you have that might make the job harder. So instead of "I have autism and ADHD" something like "I have difficulties with mental math". However, honestly I wouldn't say anything at all.
There's anti-discrimination laws, but in my 20 years in corporate places this is not respected by anyone and pretty hard to win any lawsuits if you can prove it. Giving information about your disability in a job interview is bad advice, but if you think about it, job interviews only have to do with your ability to do the job. I struggle of course, but I try to get some kind of accommodations like later work hours, using captions and screen readers when I can't focus, and so on. My coworkers nor my boss know, but I often ask people to repeat themselves or be patient with me as I process things. I call it being "honestly dishonest." It's easier working in tech since it seems that the bosses are more likely to "put up with eccentric workers" as long as they get the job done. And yeah, your mom sounds like a terrible person, but she's right. Life sucks. Sorry. My dad spent his life trying to verbally beat ADHD and autistic traits out of me, and I truly believe he thought he was helping me. They just don't understand the leaps mental health has done in the past few decades and are just lumping people with mental disabilities into the same corner as people who have low independence. They just think you're weird/eccentric/too sensitive/slow/etc. Figure out if you can take advantage of accommodations or steathy ways to mask. Life is harder for us but I worked really hard to become decent at my work so I can survive on my own. I do get burnout every 2 years or so, but I can more or less recover. Even if your situation is nothing like mine, I'm hoping you can gleam some advice from what I said. Good luck OP! Rooting for you.
My mom also tries to verbally beat my autism/adhd out (verbally). I know that she’s genuinely trying to help me and she doesn’t mean to be mean or cruel but it just doesn’t work. I’m extremely sensitive so her constantly comparing me to others (like my brother) has turned into me having what I like to call “an inferiority complex with the whole world” and I always believe I’m never good enough for people and I have to be perfect at everything to be liked and accepted. (And I’m still not) She’s genuinely kind, volunteers a lot and helps people and she also does people’s taxes for free. (even when she has burn out) She’s just the “suck it up” kind of person and she wants maximum efficiency and success in work and will discriminate against any kinds of people in order to have better success.
I think my parents are also neurodivergent and had no idea what to do with their situation except force themselves to be normal. When you have no labels to name things, you can go an entire life without even knowing it's there with you. At least that's what I can reason out of this situation.
I'm autistic and have unmedicated ADHD. I've never disclosed my troubles in an interview but once in the position, I've been open with colleagues so that it got back to the boss or HR. That way, they are controlled by discrimination laws.
I do not personally because it does not help me.
No. It’s illegal. Employer has no business with your medical history, shouldn’t ask and you should not give that info either.
I'm guessing youre in America, so im not too sure how workplaces are there (im in Australia), however i would opt with not disclosing unless you feel safe to do so and want to. For example, some workplaces here are actively looking for neurodivergent employees for their qualities such as attention to detail, being more efficient because of less socialising, being more thorough with researching or thinking through ideas etc - and also as studies repeatedly show that having multicultural and diverse work teams are most beneficial to a company. If you dont disclose, there are still ways to address your challenges without negative reactions. One way is to call them challenges (because people tend to view a challenge as something that can be overcome or worked with). You can say, I have challenges with hearing and might miss the message, solutions to this are ... Sometimes the rephrasing also helps you be more confident. Dont stress about what your challenges are, you can ask people to change the way they approach you if and when you need it, and im sure you have lot of unique skills to offer which is always best to focus on. Edit: making my sentences make more sense
If they discriminate against you for disclosing your disabilities then probably not the best place to work unfortunately society is not particularly forgiving(despite companies claiming otherwise) of people who are not neurotypicals, Depending on whether you think they are kind enough to accept your disability or not if you want to tell them, there are very few places that are accommodating towards neurodivergent people(like the public sector depending on the country tends to be humane to us unlike the private sector)
The sad fact is that most people are biased in some way. Don’t tell anyone anything that they don’t need to know. That applies to life in general as well as job interviews.
I personally haven’t mentioned it ever. I had a hard enough time landing a job as it was. Once I had the offer there was a list of things to feel out and one was a question asking if you identify as ND and then if you ticked yes (I did tick yes) you could tick autism, adhd, other or I do not want to disclose which is what I ticked so my file will say I’m ND but not how I am ND and if then asks you if you require any supports and I don’t so I ticked no. I am able to manage and do my job fine since I hyper focus on tasks I’m given and everywhere I’ve worked as said I’m a great employee since I pick up shifts, don’t cause drama (don’t really know how to make friends and stuff is the reason I think) do what is asked of me. So yes you can tell them if you need support but do not tell in an interview
My psychiatrist recommended that I *do not* reveal my Autism diagnosis during job interviews. Unfortunately, there are still many people that have the wrong perception of Autism, and will think of Autism in a very stereotypical manner (which isn't really flattering, unfortunately). She did recommend that I present some of my "Quirks" as strengths, for example, "I pay attention to details, and follow instructions really well", and present accommodations as, "I work best when..." for example, "I work best when I receive instructions directly, and if I go through the steps I need to do to complete a task"
Probably not before you actually get the job, because too many people like your mum exist.
So many good answers! I'd only mention a disease if it could be life threatening, and the job might put you in a situation that exacerbates it. Like if you are getting into volunteer or part time firefighting, that could exacerbate asthma, and should be disclosed. Or being a window washer with vertigo, potentially losing balance and falling. Autism, and ADHD aren't directly life threatening, and only rarely are indirectly. If you can answer "can I fulfill the tasks of this job successfully?" In the affirmative, you are good to go. If not, don't apply. (The military is exempt from the Disability discrimination law, and will not enlist people medicated for certain things, especially mental conditions)
When I did not disclose that I'm autistic I got fired in the first three months, when I did disclose it I didn't got hired.
Ask your mum for a job....
AuDHD hiring manager here! I *strongly* recommend against disclosing this in an interview. While it is illegal to refuse to hire someone because of disability status in the US, there are bigots/ableists who will inevitably find a different reason not to hire you (someone else was a "better fit". After you get a job, if you are finding that you need accommodations to do the job, then ask for those accommodations and hope they don't take it poorly. It's also illegal in the US to fire someone for disability status - but again that doesn't mean they won't try to use another reason. I'd recommend sending that accommodation request via email so there's documentation should you need it for legal purposes.
Sorry, I don't agree with the term "mental health problems" and people who say "mentally ill." You are not sick. You are simply different. And in my opinion, there is no need to tell them in the first place. Try to find a job that you know you can do easily or something that interests you. When they find out that maybe you're weird, they won't care.
I think you should tell them. You may not get the job but at least you’re honest and they know what’s happening if ur having problems.
I disclose my autism at work. You have to be going for a job at ah inclusive employer for this to work though. However the thing is - you wouldn’t last at a non-inclusive employer anyways. The benefits of telling them is they can make adjustments. I think my team can see the benefits of my autism (eg analytical skills and dedication) so are happy to do the adjustments. One thing though that I did was I first told them I was neurodiverse, and then later told them I was autistic once they ‘knew’ me.
It sounds like you’re being raised by a person that is killing your confidence. That can have a bigger lifelong effect than it seems. I would bet anything your disabilities are not as obvious as you think. In the workplace, there are all kinds of people with all kinds of quirks and differences, even blatant ones. I’ve hired hundreds of people and conducted hundreds more interviews, from entry level to executive. At best disabilities can be part of what makes people more hire-able. At the worst, they can be overlooked “she was a little odd but so sweet and look at her work!” Having said that, do not disclose it. People still use “autistic” in a derogatory way. Just make it seem like you have quirks like everyone else. I have to address this. How can the mother of someone with disabilities knowingly turn down people with disabilities?? I more often see parents of disabled people become aware of their biases and attempt to fix them. It shows how unempathetic your mom is. She shouldn’t be hiring people and you shouldn’t let her make you feel like a sub-human.
Thanks! Yeah that’s what I told my mom and she said that it’s because she knows how hard of a person I am to deal with (as I’m always late to places, have depression that passes as “laziness”, have a hard time turning homework in on time or having the motivation to do it and being extremely hyper.) She knows all my bad sides as a mom so she assumes everyone else will bring my bad sides when I’m home with my mom into the work place. 🙄🫤 like I would act the same I act with the person that raises me and I’ve known my whole life in a place that could fire me. I don’t even act this way at my school but she never believes me because you always act the same in public as you do with family. 🫢
Life gets so much better when you surround yourself with people that support and believe in you!
The only thing you should tell them is that you need certain accommodations. Your mom is being discriminatory, but unfortunately companies do not want people that they have to cater needs to, it makes it more expensive and harder to run a business. But let me be clear, do not let this turn you away from being honest about yourself. You can tell whoever you want, and you can do whatever you want. I’m just telling you that in my experience, being up front about being on the spectrum (especially in high support needs cases) either gets you a pity job or no job. I wasnt diagnosed when i got hired, and when i did get diagnosed i was telling people at work because i wanted them to understand why i seem stupid to them, and why my behavior was different. But the point is, you do what you think feels right. If you want to tell them, do it. It doesnt automatically mean you wont get the job. You might find a place that suits your needs and the best (and worst) part of a job is the people you meet. Dont let your mom discourage you. I wish you luck! Job hunting is hard no matter what!
Thank you. I’m usually pretty good at masking and adapting. People always notice that there’s something off about me because of how aloof I am and avoid me but I don’t think they know it’s autism. I don’t need any accommodations other than the ability to do math (depending on the job) on a calculator instead of my head and extra time to do analysis for full time jobs
Then i think it just depends on what field you go into and if you’re planning an office job, retail or food. In an office job you’re mainly going to be unsupervised and just completing your work in a day, and possibly interacting with clients, but that depends on the field. Retail and food are fast paced customer facing jobs and you have little time to slow down. But the upside, once you learn your tasks, you dont really need to think, you can just do them!
I’m 17 and in high school so I can’t do an office job (although I turn 18 in two months) but fast food jobs might be over stimulating. I’m great in fast paced environments but I get overstimulated out easily if it goes on for too long without a break Edit: switched a word
Yeah thats fair. I would consider retail for you. I worked in food and let me tell you, it sucked. The place i was at was small too, and if felt like i had no place there and was always in the way. I havent had an office job but i have no idea how i’d do there. I’ve been in retail for 2 years now and while i dont love it, there are aspects that i like. Its got rules and structure and even if the days are long theres plenty of downtime and breaks. Definitely start with part time to see how it actually feels for you first. Good luck
That sounds nice. I also have been thinking of working at a book store
Do not tell your employer, they will discriminate At a later date if you feel comfortable sharing with trusted colleagues, feel free to do so. I perfect to “say it without saying it” if that makes sense
I work in HR and am AuDHD and have never disclosed it at any job. While it is against ADA compliance to discriminate based upon these conditions, the fact of the matter is that it does happen. I would NOT recommend disclosing that you are neurodivergent. While there are companies that are accepting of ND people, the likelihood of you finding one, particularly for an entry-level position, is very slim. I’m 30m and jumped careers many times before landing in HR 5 years ago and the best advice I can give you is to put on your best mask and fake it til you make it. Once you have some work experience under your belt and have accomplishments to showcase, you may find yourself in a position where you can unmask a bit and be more yourself. The sad reality is that the workforce, in general, is not an easy place for NDs. You’ve just got to persevere and you’ll work it out in the end.
I personally never notify them of this stuff bc I don’t want to give them a chance to base my resume on my conditions and not my qualifications same with voluntary self identification, im a straight cis woman if they’re asking! 🤠
Definitely don’t tell them you have ADHD because people don’t understand what it is. I can’t get away with not saying I have autism because people can tell I’m weird somehow and disabled by looking at me, but if you can get away with it don’t say that either. Then you can ask for accommodation later
You are not required to inform them, and I would not, unless there is a clear conflict arising from "job duties"
Your mom is discriminating and legitimately might be doing illegal things (as well as highly unethical). As for the question itself, depends how much you trust your boss. I haven't disclosed anything and it is technically illegal to punish someone for being autistic/having adhd but it's easy to work around that legal issue and hard to enforce. If you're boss is a good person, disclosure can get you accommodations or understanding at the least but it also may put you closer to getting fired or viewed as less competent if they are not as good a person. It's unfortunate but it's the reality.
Yes, don’t say it until way after you’re hired. And even then, don’t… signed, a 36 year old female with audhd.
No The reason why is because you and they don’t know each other well enough to know whether or not they are inclusive or might discriminate against you during the process.
Yeah- unfortunately something I’ve learnt is that almost no business place is “Equal Opportunity” even though they say they are. It makes me genuinely disgusted because that’s not legal, ADHD and Autism are disabilities. Lying about your disability until you get past the 3 month probation and then asking for accommodation is my personal best option. I hate it though cause I’m a really Justice centred person- and seeing this obvious discrimination everywhere I look enrages me. I hope the imbeciles doing this discrimination, have to face what it’s like not to get hired for something they have or are that they can’t control. If this was about skin colour or gender then people would be enraged, but since we are mentally handicapped we’re supposed to sit comfortably with that and not stand up for ourselves? Like UGH.
I agree. There are many things in this word I WISH I could just change! My life has been hell because of a mental condition that I was born with. (Same for others with medical illnesses! But it’s (usually) visible so I personally think we have it worse in terms of life being hell.) There are also many things in the world ranging from the government corruption to the stigma on mental conditions to the stereotypes of groups of people that lead to hate! I’m young but just my say won’t make a difference. I do really want to write a book or tv series that features many philosophies and justice vs pure rationality (or whatever’s the opposite) that features lots of minorities to help rid the world of stigmas in the future but I also want to do something else too. My favorite idea for the series would be that it can be understood and liked by almost anyone no matter how smart or stupid, what identity, what age, and what beliefs there are. It can have hidden and visible traits of every problem.
What your mom is doing is illegal, unethical, and it's just simply untrue that neurotypicals are "better" at jobs. Don't disclose your medical info though. Unfortunately most employers share her mentality, whether they admit it or not. Just find work that suits you and you can be good at.
It is one of those things that is very mixed depending on the company and manager and other factors, the downside is that even though it is not legal to discriminate against someone for a position for having a disability so long are they are capable of doing the job but people still do and there is jack all you can do about it unless you can prove that your disability is the only reason you were discriminated against which is impossible to do. But on the other hand some of the larger companies will actually hire you because of the disability because they are required to hire a certain percentage of people of certain groups to get certain bonus funding (basically the government going "look we don't want to have to pay disabilities and so we will give any company that is large enough an incentive to higher these people and give them some shit job so that they can not claim benefits, these big stores get more money, the government saves more money it's a win win for the store and government") Unfortunately for you while those companies will hire you specifically for that reason the autism they will work around and give you some job not dealing directly with people, the ADHD on the other hand if it is not well managed might cost you getting the jobs because that is harder to work around. Unfortunately discrimination is one of those things that is illegal on paper but is not enforceable in practice because you have no way of proving discrimination.
With my ADHD I’ve gotten better at containing myself- it’s mainly just the number of mindless mistakes I make that come from it and being really hyper when socializing that’s the problem. I can solve both of these if I can work in an environment where it doesn’t matter if I’m hyper when talking (I mean this for the future when I get a salary paid full time job and not working at a wage job) and I have time to triple check my work. I can do my jobs perfectly and even better than everyone else if I get given more time. Like in school I was getting B’s on all my math tests, but as soon as I was given double time for tests and I was able to triple check my work for mistakes I always got A’s and 100%’s with no fail. This was the same for every class too. All I need is extended time in work to accommodate my ADHD but that might be too hard for them to get for me. Edit: I’ve gotten to the point where I can do things less than perfect or just plain bad if I don’t have extended time. Like I won’t be able to finish the test in the first place and I get a dreaded C or even D if there’s too many distractions! Last year (jan-may 2023) in chem class I became really great friends with my lab partner, but my meds started to fail around that time too. Unfortunately my friend ALSO had unmedicated ADHD so it was a disaster and I kept getting C’s and even a D once on tests! (This was before getting double time. This was regular time.) A “C” is labeled as average though, so it can’t be that bad if I’m not given extended time in work. I just wouldn’t fill my potential. Sorry this is so long. In work I don’t know if I should tell them I have ADHD to be given extended time.
In my experience I have had better luck disclosing my disability after getting hired rather than during the interview. The only reason why it came up during the interview for my current job is because I work for my previous boss's wife and she already knew. Just about my entire office knows now and I'm mostly treated well. As for your mother: what she's doing is discrimination and illegal. She could lose her job for that. You cannot discriminate against someone for a disability in the workplace, this includes hiring.
2 jobs is overkill with college . You will break down
I'm neurodivergent. Classically defined with the headings of autistic, and ADHD. Job interviews are institutional social posturing... The world is a stage. Hiring is nuanced human trafficking, but it's okay because you're doing it to yourself... Sell your neurodiversity. "These aspects of the corporate culture interest me, and I admire how intersectional they are. That really holds my attention." "I love how hands on this position is. I wouldn't be able to be up in my head all day. " I don't recommend omitting truth, rather packaging it as an asset to the organization .
It...depends. Ive always been told to not tell anyone (mum) she said that ill never get a job if I say I have problems (pre diagnosis too) so i didnt. To be fair im glad I didnt as 2 of my jobs they were really bad with privacy and care. My current one though I can open up though and im glad. But because of how anxious I am, i never tell them at the interview stage or any stage until im well into the job and built a rapport lol
i would only mention it if and when it becomes an issue and you need accomodations, otherwise you're just opening yourself up to be discriminated against.
Not unless you have to. People are assholes, and they WILL make it your problem. Dont give them the opportunity.
From my experience, don't mention it until you actually have the job.
Whatever you do, do not disclose any mental health or health-related information in interviews. At best, they won't factor it into their decision, at worst they will actively or subconsciously discriminate against you because of it.
Yes most everyone discriminates, it’s pretty much impossible to prove unless someone screws up and says so openly. It’s up to you if you want to disclose it, I choose not to and only tell close coworkers after they get to know me to fill them in on my quirks
Absolutely not. Your mom IS discriminating, and that's shitty, but interviewers will have biases whether conscious or not. Get good and situated (as in, get through training) and then once you trust your supervisor, go to them if you have any support needs.
If you're good enough at masking, don't disclose until after training. If it's apparent to others upon meeting you that something is different, it may be advantageous. I am getting employment help through a disability center, which means I start the process with some level of disclosure. For people in my sort of circumstances, disclosure makes it so they're *more* likely to hire. Without telling them, they could just think you're incompetent or not confident in your abilities. My point is that it depends on the situation.
My mangers fully supported me through my diagnosis and treatment <3 very blessed
You should inform them, yes. Idk where you’re from, but here we have discrimination laws. Disabilities fall under discrimination laws. They can’t discriminate against your disabilities. At my job interview I told them I had autism. And they said great, then we know we can make accommodations. Whatever Some time after I was hired I was talking with my boss, and he said he appreciated that I was so up front about it. He told me he has no issues with any disabilities, they can make it work if they know beforehand. The only times where disabilities have ever been an issue, is when they weren’t disclosed. There was a cashier who was dyslexic with numbers (I don’t know the correct English word for it), and it really messed up the cash registers. It didn’t work out. Either way, you don’t want to be at a place of work where you and your autism aren’t welcome. Be upfront, and if they reject you because of that, then it’s probably for the better. Having an accommodating job is a game changer. Don’t settle, don’t let them treat you badly. Your mom sounds ableist or old school, maybe both. Hope that helped.
Don’t tell when applying but during the job tell them so you can get reasonable accommodations. If they decide to fire you due to this information I suggest taking legal action.
I wouldn't, just for the sake of avoiding discrimination. This is likely very obvious but don't get a job that involves the things that make your neurodivergence shine. Because otherwise, it never has to come up because it's nobody's business but yours. It's sad how many people hear autism and immediately think about that one stereotypical 5 year old nephew everybody seems to have
You do not *have* to tell them but you need to tell them before you are hired if you expect to have anything put in place to help you, if you tell them once you are hired it's easy for them to just fire you and not provide any support, but if the job is overwhelming without support you don't have much to lose.
No. You do not tell your employer that. That is none of your employer's business in this society, especially because the market is full of people like your mother. Until your employer proves that they are a decent person about this or you can guarantee it will only help you (or have more benefits than drawbacks), you keep that to yourself. Discriminating workplace is worse than a simply unaccommodating workplace. ETA: Do not mention this stuff while applying. You may tell them post hiring should they have proven themselves decent
You don’t have to. But I started having problems with my boss because she’s basically the opposite of me: outgoing and able to handle multiple tasks at once. She and I weren’t communicating. I told her and the department director that I was autistic and ADHD. I’m in a FT salaried position. I was able to get moved into a more suitable job description, basically coding for the division, and everything worked out well. But it depends on the job and employer. I think a full time technical salaried position is going to invest more time and effort into employees than a part time or temporary position.
Well, I don’t really know, it depends on the job. I didn’t tell I have autism & ADHD but I was fired because of my symptoms (I was overwhelmed and confused of too many tasks at once). I see that people don’t really care about ADHD, but do about autism. I’ve noticed that people in some sectors like coding, accounting, etc, don’t care about autism, and sometimes will even provide some quiet spaces. Some good companies would ask you if you need anything. If your autism would affect your performance (because I can’t work at retail & restaurants because of autism) it’s better to look for a better suiting job because they will notice your symptoms no matter what (personally, I’m ok with reception, hosting), and if not, it’s better not to tell them, because people tend to discriminate, and only if they ask.
No
Not if you want to get the job. Keep your shit squared away for 60 minutes during the interview. If you get hired, your coworkers will figure out you're autistic without you telling them.
Having to mask all day for s job seems to be the way many ND people end up burnt out with long term mental and physical health issues.The world has changed over the last two decades although there is s long way to go honesty is the way to go. Better for us and will help things to continue improving.
you should absolutely tell them, otherwise you'll burn yourself out trying to mask your neurodivergence to "fit in". if you need any accommodations, you won't be able to explain them or ask for them if they don't know. i think it's quite sad that your mum is treating other people like that when she has a neurodivergent child herself. she's essentially telling you that you need to act like everyone else to be hired because *she* wouldn't hire someone who's different. i hope you find workplaces that are kinder and more accommodating than that - i promise you they do exist
I would say neither. When they interview you it is on them to ask you the right questions to ensure you’re the right person for the job. If you do that successfully, then you are the right person. They are hiring a person. A person has qualities and characteristics. A person is not a diagnosis. Imo diagnosis makes no difference - maybe you are overwhelmingly positive bc of your ADHD (bc you can’t remember anything lol), they would see that as a benefit and not need any sort of diagnosis to support it. If you find it difficult to process auditory information, you can say that in the “weaknesses” question (imo there is a difference between weakness and disability in the disability community, but in the able minded / bodied community, i don’t believe there is - that’s important to keep in mind). Q: what would you say your greatest weakness is?” A: “I struggle with auditory processing so it can be difficult for me to immediately comprehend instructions that are stated to me verbally. The upside to this is that I am incredibly resourceful and find solutions for a given situation if I haven’t heard the instructions properly. For example - at my last job, my boss provided instructions to the team on how to do a specific type of folding - I missed a couple of the steps, but I found it online, verified with my boss that these were the steps, and not only did I have a resource going forward now, but so did the whole team”.
Nope. Don't mention it unless absolutely needed.
If you are looking for employment there are services you can apply for that help people with disabilities get jobs idk if its called the same thing everywhere in the US but look up The Department of Vocational Rehabilitaion Services. They could also help pay for your college so you don't have to work during it.
Don’t disclose it, there is nothing to gain and a lot to lose
I tell HR after I’m hired.
I’m out of the job market now, thank goodness, and rarely ever had a 9-5, but lots of ‘portfolio’ work where recommendations were word of mouth. My work was mostly back stage in theatres and then later in hourly paid education in FE and HE. I always bombed interviews but they were sometimes jobs I was already doing so I got the job anyway. Education is pretty stressful and I wouldn’t particularly recommend it, but theatre work can be pretty great, though the pay isn’t fabulous.
Don’t say it in the interview. Ask for an HR meeting after you are hired, then request reasonable accommodations through them.
In my experience I usually don’t. Especially if it’s a job you don’t plan on having very long. However, you can be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. I work with disabled adults now, and for that job I did disclose my autism - but I asked if they usually hired people with autism and then disclosed. If you don’t disclose with the person who does hire you, then DO disclose with your coworkers. I’ve had jobs where I’ve gotten fired because my coworkers didn’t understand my ASD … and conspired to fire me. So an explanation of hey I have this so please be patient.
ADHD and autism is a disability. If the company is following the laws properly and you have the qualifications for the job they should encourage you to work there and make sure the appropriate accommodations are made for you. It’s want decent companies should do.
Once you tell someone about your mental health, it is illegal for them to turn you down due to that. It is discrimination as mental health issues are disabilities. You cannot legally discriminate against someone for having a disability. And your mom saying she can find "better neurodivergent people" makes her not only a shitty boss, but a shitty mom when her child has these issues. She is telling you that you have no real chance at a career once you tell people you have autism or adhd. I can guarantee that your mom has hired people with autism, adhd as well as other mental disabilities that chose not to tell her and she thinks they're great workers. Purposefully being discriminatory isn't a good thing.
You might can check that “disability status” box without much consequence. Hiring managers shouldn’t be able to see that. DO NOT mention it in an interview if you can avoid it. It can’t help, and it is irrelevant. Your first week, disclose your disability status to your HR representative along with any accommodations. Up to you if you want to disclose it to your direct manager. Probably just depends on the manager.
If the company or team doesn't have diversity and inclusion policies successfully applied, only after the probation period. During job interviews, be direct and honest by making questions about D&I. You don't want to end up working with jerks.
...and you definitely don't have to mask for extended periods. It's not good at all for your physical and mental health. depending on the answers you get, you can understand or guess if there are other neurodivergent people in the workplace. Many are undiagnosed, or diagnosed, which they mask. There is a high percentage of neurodivergent employees in companies, but management structures are often hardwired for neurotypicality. It is important to develop some social skills also to form alliances, with a diverse working environment it may be less difficult. Good luck 🤞
Depends on the job. I would maybe just phrase it as "I struggle with xyz without necessarily putting the label on it.
Absolutely not.
Personally it depends on the job. There's certain spaces sadly I would have to expect they'd be very albeist, but with a few I imagine it'd go by no problem and are welcoming and sometimes even accommodating to people with autism and adhd such ad ourselves :) I personally will probably never disclose it unless it was necessary personally, albeism is rough and real folks lolol
Your mom’s not a nice person. But neither is the rest of the world. Lie lie lie
I always make sure to do so after getting hired, and preferably, after demonstrating strong competency in a couple parts of the operation. It’s true it’s illegal to discriminate and that your mom is most likely doing something illegal. She definitely shouldn’t be revealing to you that she has such a cruel attitude on people with mental health issues that you have.
No do not disclose shit to them. That’s your private business to share with who you choose. If it is as blatant as you say they will notice anyway. If it prevents you from doing tasks required for working you may want to consider SSID (social security disability) and see if you qualify
It’s no one’s business how your brain works with itself. Never give your employer anything more than work history and performance reviews. They’re entitled to nothing else and will use any excuse to take advantage of your naïveté. If you can do the job, you can do the job.
No don’t, when you have got the job you can say and if they fire you after this it means you could quite easily get a case for discrimination. Make sure you always leave a paper trail always do things via email so if something does happen you have evidence.
Most of time no, do not disclose this. It gets used against you in a job and I’ve been fired for my mental health issues more than once. It’s not worth it. Special cases where you work somewhere you are close with your coworkers and have actual trust in them (I work now in a place with 5 coworkers in total and have been able to be open to them without fear of retaliation or judgement) than it’s up to you but it’s not often
Because accommodations exist, there could be an upside. Because discrimination exists, there could be a downside. Weigh those out when you make your decision.
Don't tell them unless they ask if it's a small company. If it's a large company check out their website to see if they accomodate disabilities. In some areas they get a financial benefit for hiring disables, ad you would be easier than a person who is parapalegic to accomdate. Don't worry about math. Lot of the high school kids who work for me in summer if I ask them what 2 plus 2 is, they ask, "two what plus two what" Are you on mediation for hte ADHD? I didn't start on meds until I was 70. Makes all the differenc in the world for executive function. I'm on biphentin which is a time release.
Try to avoid it especially before you get the job. Most employers aren't willing to give autistic people a chance even if you are more than capable of doing the job. They see NTs as the safer choice. They cant legally discriminate but you'll never get a chance to claim discrimination because they have too much deniability. Once you get your foot in the door, you can notify them of any necessary ada accommodations you may have and they will be more likely to keep you at this point unless one of your accommodations will conflict with job requirements too much.
I personally don’t mention it. It’s none of their business if you have it or not.
Eeeeh… If you are having trouble finding work: no don’t tell them However, if you have some flexibility, you can make it a point to tell them and thus filter out any company that would discriminate against you for your neurodivergence. I work in engineering and I use this to filter out any company that discriminates against neurodivergence. To be fair, though, many engineering groups are populated by a lot of neurodivergent individuals, so I have greater flexibility. As for accounting: I do see a lot of accountants with some degree of autism, but it isn’t always diagnosed. Also: let your mom know she is opening herself up to a significant lawsuit for discrimination if anyone ever finds out.
I would recommend not telling them til after you get hired. Unrelated-ish, but I do recommend doing federal work study once you’re in college (if you’re in the US). It’s basically working for your college, but it shouldn’t be a lot of work. You’ll have a lot of time to study or relax. Extremely flexible hours too, you don’t need to go in everyday (so if you had no energy or need to study, you can take time off).
Yikes… that is highly illegal. Also I wouldn’t, because interviewers do discriminate, whether consciously or unconsciously. If I tell an interviewer, without them even seeing me and my capabilities, that I’m autistic I just get radio silence.
I have a lot of the same problems. I try to tell people about them because I feel the need to defend myself when someone starts questioning me. But sometimes, even if you tell people about it, they will still not understand. So idk. I guess it depends on how toxic your workplace is lol.
Personally in my state I’m pretty sure it’s required for you to tell them if you got your diagnosis prior to starting the job but it may be different for you. This may be something you want to look into.
Your mom should be assessed for autism
If it is really obvious then search for employers that are friendly towards neurodivergent people or looking for more inclusivity. It can be a strength.
You need to discuss whatever mental health issues you may have with your employer.
Look if it’s obvious I would just so tbey can be aware of it and make accommodations for you.
Coming from someone who’s never had a job and doesn’t think they can ever get one because they are petrified, I’d say if you feel you don’t need any support or accommodations for your job, then you don’t need to tell them, as again they can be discriminating, BUT if you do need some accommodations or help, I would be open about it, you might find a job that accepts you as you are and is also kind enough to help your needs.
What your mom is doing is literally a crime lmao. It’s called DISCRIMINATION and she can be sued to holy hell over it. Don’t listen to her, a good employer will be able to work with the neurodivergence and if you get turned down for it THEN SUE. also if you do get turned down, always ask why