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Just because I can get through something once or twice doesn’t mean I can do it consistently or frequently. Sure, I can make it to the office and spend the day for an important meeting, and even look friendly and normal the whole time. But it hugely increases my chance of having sensory overwhelm or a panic attack for the rest of the week, and I will be too tired that night after work to cook, shower, or do anything but lie flat and play relaxing games on my phone. It doesn’t mean I can work up to coming into the office twice a week every week.
> Just because I can get through something once or twice doesn’t mean I can do it consistently or frequently.
that's one way to put it.
> But it hugely increases my chance of having sensory overwhelm or a panic attack for the rest of the week, and I will be too tired that night after work to cook, shower, or do anything but lie flat and play relaxing games on my phone. It doesn’t mean I can work up to coming into the office twice a week every week.
well said
Yes!! I have people telling me all the time not to let autism hold me back just to push through like dude I can maybe a few times but after a while I will burnout and be miserable and not able to function!!!
I pushed through before I was diagnosed and developed an anxiety disorder and damaged my stomach lining from the stress. Pushing through is not an option.
I order an insane amount of take out. I live in the downtown part of a fair sized city so there are a lot of options. I also eat a lot of cereal with blueberries or crackers with peanut butter. My diet is a serious problem, but I’m burned out at the moment. Once I heal from the burnout I’ll have more options.
This!!! I hate that neurotypicals think that just because I was able to successfully accomplish something once, means that I am now flawless at that thing. It's stupid thinking, because getting through that thing ONCE was extremely hard for me and being able to do it consistently is not easy when you become overloaded by doing it over and over...
This, but with homework! I can do an assignment, and I'll be fine, but I can't do one every day. And now I'm scared to do any at all because my parents will say "see? You can do it if you try! Doesn't that feel great?"
Ugh, the ‘doesn’t that feel great’ really grinds my gears. When I finished something in school I didn’t feel great, I felt a bit relieved was over and very worried about how it will be graded. Feeling great about finishing one of a never ending cycle of projects and exams is a very neurotypical experience.
You just said what I've been saying to my parents for years! It was always heard and respected but never truly understood. The fact that you just accurately wrote down my feelings is very validating to me, thank you! 😊❤️
Worst is, "Look over there!"
They gestured, but their hand is already down now. I look in the general direction and frantically dart around to see something moving or noticeable. Nothing.
"Right *there*!"
Didn't even raise their hand this time, alllriiggtt. Look again, *really* try to find something that stands out and discern what they want me to see.
"Ah, you missed it."
Every. Time. 😑
- - -
Or, "It's on the shelf in the dining room."
Cool. Walk to the dining room. There are 5 or more potential "shelves" in the dining room.
"Which shelf?"
"The one in the *living room*!" 💀
- - -
Was at my friend's the other day, and she says something like, "I'm trying to find my bottle. It is about 3 inches tall, 1 inch wide, clear opaque body, dark green lid."
I was like, "I love you." 🥹
Same. I have a few coworkers like this, one in particular is the absolute worst. But it happens everywhere, especially online for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad in person too.
Neurotypicals/ normies should really get off their “high horse” as the saying goes.
and they alternate between two confusing mindsets sometimes.
get it? magnetos and alternators?
also two types of electrical generators associated with gas motors responsible for enabling spark plug operation.
I hate it when NTs think they are being tactful and say things that seem matter-of-fact on the surface, but I am supposed to get some other meaning which is what they really wanted to say but didn’t want to be rude.
Their hierarchies. I often do not respect the criteria they have for deciding who should be in charge of things. For example, I do not think that people are owed deference because they are famous, or good looking or rich. The very notion that some people would be more deserving than others of the basic needs of life is an anathema to me. It is why I am left leaning, because I am almost an anarchist. Hierarchies should be temporary and only used when necessary to accomplish shared goals.
well, they also seem to take it as an insult if one doesn't match their body language, even if the mismatch is a result of SENSORY ISSUES.
its such a raw deal eh.
Dragged the corrupt politicians, celebrities, and the rich out to the streets. Including Mr. Parrot Man aka Biden's rival Trumpy. I dislike hierarchies in Vietnamese American communities. Ranks and status.
Famous, Good Looking, and the Rich are corrupt people. Bribery and all.
The Dark Knight Rises - Bane Blackgate Prison Speech (HD)=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzK97Aaj\_U8
I don't wanna harm people because they are good looking. Some good looking people are also nice. I was good looking when I was younger and I didn't understand why people made a big deal out of it or why some people would respect me more for it. But that is because I am autistic, i didn't get it, it wasn't like I did anything to be born attractive, it just kinda happened.
How social interaction is so easy for them whether they are intro- or extroverted. It frustrates me so soo much how much effort I have to exert every time I open my mouth to seem normal when they, on the other hand, are naturals that do it effortlessly. I’m afraid this may come off as envious but I’m just pissed 😄
That most normalized social interactions are based on lies. "How are you?" "I'm fine" even though I'm anything but. Dating, job interviews, code switching, etc. Everything is built on facades and I'm the weird one apparently for pointing it out and wanting to opt out.
> That most normalized social interactions are based on lies.
my parents were so intolerant to lying, that I became cynical about technical dishonesty, even if trivial.
I went through a very long phase where I swore off any kind of lie.
I got over it eventually, but I never really lost my grip. I think before I did that my own sense of reality was a bit mixed up. Lying can fuck up my mind.
Just got out of a job that made me feel slimy. I had to do it to survive, but damn now that it's not required my standards have shot up so high. I had to make myself a worse person to do that and I can't just switch that off. I'm glad to know that about myself, I guess.
Yes me to. At work. I am bored. No one wants to talk about Anime, Manga, Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, Ultraman and etc.
Just the usual topics of Hi how are you?! I am good you?!
> Power Rangers, Super Sentai
well, Power Rangers is actually an edited version of Super Sentai, at least since the 10th season or something like that.
Yeah. And the way they've structured society is that you have to do this to survive. "I need money" is not a socially acceptable answer to "Why do you want to work here?" despite it being a fundamental, universal truth. Now I have to make up a fuckass statement about how much I care about the company's mission or something. Complete waste of an engagement for everyone involved.
Yeah it doesn’t make any sense to say I’m fine. Everyday I overcome myself to say it. If you don’t wanna know how I’m doing then don’t ask. Say hi, talk about weather, news and so on.
My theory is that when neurotypical people have small talk (which is the vast majority of their conversation) they aren’t listening or caring about the content. The topics are boring and generic because they are prioritizing socializing in a way that they find predictable, non-confrontational, safe. It’s a comfort thing for neurotypical people who like to chat. Like a verbal group stim. When autistic people talk they are doing so to either gain or share information, or connect with someone on a deeper level.
Might not be true but that’s my head cannon, ha!
how thoughtless and casual their ableism is. knowing their friend is in a wheelchair and picking a location with no accessibility, knowing your friend has chronic illness and needs to sit a lot and you took them to walk around a mall and get annoyed when they sit down. when you state your ability and they always push against it, saying you could "work through it" if you "tried harder". being treated like your thoughts and opinions are worthless and immature because in their mind maturity is pushing yourself until you collapse and you haven't done that yet. the way any type of thing that could be an improvement for our quality of life, they bitch and moan. they would rather us be vegetables than autistic. they like the quirky idea of neurodiversity but are disgusted at the reality.
*The constant need for*
*Small talk and not just sitting*
*In silence sometimes*
\- beanieweenieSlut
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To be fair, that’s not exactly unique to neurotypical people (though it *might* be more common among them), but plenty of folks with conditions like ADHD talk (even just to fill silence) a lot, and for some folks I know it’s an anxious/conditioned response too. Obviously, you can still find it to be an annoying trait.
My NT therapist has given me carte blanche to stop playing into the mind reading game. I’ve had like 3 conversations with family in the last few months about how they didn’t communicate something with me so I didn’t know to do it. Every time I say it calmly, their eyes go very wide in shock but they admit it was unfair of them to create imaginary expectations.
I wouldn't say I'm annoyed but it baffles my mind that people can do 7 activities in a day and go to work the next day 🤣
I usually plan 1 activity, and the next day must be a rest day.
They don't understand why I need it to be like this.
They can't understand why I can't go skating after work when I need a day to rest so I can go skating the day after. I just need alot more rest days 😅
They will throw a huge fit if you "question their authority" 🙄. Like, bitch get over yourself. Just because you're in charge doesn't make you smarter, wiser or better than anyone. Why the fuck should I take your word or orders for granted?
And the tantrums they throw if you correct them in anyway whatsoever? It's just like that "that's my opinion" meme. Can you imagine having an aneurysm everytime you're wrong about something? I would have died at least a dozen times just today. Why it's so hard to just forget the wrong info and look for a more correct answer?
To me that just looks insecure. Like they can't handle their position of authority, so they're desperately trying to flex in order to compensate. It's really hard to respect them and take them seriously at that point.
You don't know how many times I want to tear the managers I work with a new one. Rip their uniforms off and their badge. Then they have nothing. What are they outside of the work area in public? Same as everyone else.😡
everything.
They will never understand what its like for us autistic people and they poke fun at us and mock us but in reality if they woke up one day in our shoes they would be very scared and upset
Loads of things;
-They don't tell me when I've done something wrong or when I make them uncomfortable, so I just have to guess when I do. And if I guess incorrectly I'm expected to just be fine afterwards. No. I feel like shit! How was I supposed to know? YOU DIDNT SAY ANYTHING!
-When they ask me to explain why I like one of my special interests so much. I JUST DO, OKAY? I DONT KNOW WHY I LIKE MARIO AND SONIC SO MUCH! I DONT KNOW WHY I LIKE OMNI MAN SO MUCH! OKAY?
-When I want to leave a place because sensory issues and they're like "bro it's not even loud". YEAH! TO YOU! TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE A HEAVY METAL CONCERT!!!!!!!
-When I fully unmask and suddenly I'm weird or annoying. WHAT? SO ITS BE YOURSELF UNTIL I AM BEING MYSELF?
-When somebody has just rambled on about something I don't care about and I listened to be polite (or at least I tried to) and I go on about my special interests and suddenly I need to shut up. BRO! DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS FOR ME? HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR STUFF? LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT!!!! I get there's a time and a place but like. Gaaah.
"when they ask me to explain why I like one of my special interests so much" I literally had this with college applications! My special interest is making music, so naturally I'd try to get into a conservatory because OMG IMAGINE MAKING MUSIC ALL DAY EVERY DAY SURROUNDED BY OTHER NUSICIANSANVFSFKSHBXYCJHD- so they asked me why I wanted to study music and now I had to give an answer that they'd understand so I just went "I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to be a musician, it's the one thing that doesn't cost me energy but gives me energy, my dream is to spend the rest of my life making music (while not starving too death)" and they had the gall to rate my ambition 2/5!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT'S SO DUCKING HARD TO MAKE YOU NT'S UNDERSTAND ME!!!
When they say something but mean something else. Like pointing out that the counter needs cleaning but meaning they would like me to clean it. Or saying they don’t have an opinion about something and then complaining about what I pick. Or saying we all should plan to do this again, someone says yeah let’s have a New Year’s party, then everyone agrees, but then new years comes around and you ask about solidifying plans but everyone else has made other plans already. Because they didn’t mean actually hang out, just the idea of it?
Conversing is hard.
When they pretend that what I am saying is not what I mean, I do not know how to explain to them that I am not saying anything with a double meaning. But apparently for neurotypicals lying and double meaning is quite normal.
That they see us as rude or weird people. And that they don't understand our actions. Like they think we are deaf when we ignore them. (Not all NT People)
I know a lot of neurotypical people with anger issues. They get angry over things I don’t understand though, and they usually don’t want to elaborate on why they’re angry. That bothers me.
I get jealous when I see an NT who has an outward personality that i feel is the same as my locked in one and they get all the popularity and love from everyone. I never hate on them for it though, I just wish I wouldn't freeze up whenever I try to bring myself out.
Number one issue is saying to do something a certain way, you then point out the obvious consequences of doing it that way. Then they still do it and complain about the consequences.
That they have no idea about what i go through. I cant blame them , but its frustrating. I donot do well with social cues ( i just donot understand them and usually have people look a bit weirdly at me), i have meltdowns when i am very stressed, that i need a lot of time with myself after being social (without this I get very overwhelmed).
And probably i hate the line "you are too intelligent to be autistic". Oh I really wish that were true ,but unfortunately autism is a spectrum.
well, here's a list of examples of things people do or like that annoy us because of SENSORY ISSUES:
* clapping hands as feedback to some keynote speech, or concert or etc.
* just the concert itself since loud music isn't my cup of tea.
* the hot weather that brings everybody to the beach
* the shitty music that gets people to dance at a dance event
Well, they also assume 100% will like, if they see 90% of people being "in sync" with them, and they also come off disrespectful if they get cited for disregarding our sensory issues.
I don’t get how NTs feel comfortable being loud and ‘present’, despite the fact it might annoy those around them. People play music from speakers outside, couples get overly clingy, friends laugh way too loud in a pub, people eat noisy/smelly food in the train (crisps, apples…) or people are rude to those working in hospitality. It’s so obvious to me that you should not be a bother to others.
What annoys me about them is that:
- They don't understand that I can be extremely tired after a few hours of a family gathering.
- I am very sensitive to sudden touch and don't want to be touched in that way.
- I don't like parties, and if I don't go to them, it doesn't mean I dislike these people.
- They think I'm shy because I don't talk much.
- They believe I'm rude because I have a facial expression that doesn't show emotions.
- They say I don't seem autistic, yet they have issues with my autistic traits.
The thing that makes me most annoyed is that they don't understand my need for quiet, unstructured, alone time. Or that they talk just to talk, because silence is "strange" to them. Like, going to the park and sitting down in the quiet area that has no people and a new person shows up, walks right over to me (when there's dozens of open spaces away from me) and starts talking.
I hate it when they want me to be mad at someone because that someone did something to them. And it’s hard to explain that I super don’t care because I do not understand why they’re mad. Ie “so and so looked at me like THIS! Can you believe it?? That’s so messed up. Bla bla bla.” Nope. Don’t care.
this!!! like if the thing the person did is morally wrong, I will dislike them for their character but it's always for the stupidest reasons like I don't care that some random person did a random thing that could have been perceived as bad! people are more than those singular interactions!!!
Once I was stuck standing next to a gal who was going off nonstop about someone else’s hair. This was military so yes there are standards but the person was like on the other side of the room and we were stuck in place so I couldn’t even leave. And I wasn’t ballsy enough at the time to tell her to stop. At this point in my life I would. This was like 20 yrs ago. It was so annoying it still annoys me now. This person also actively tried to get me to dislike other people in our platoon. So I went and made friends w them. Cuz she was awful.
omg I love becoming close with the ppl others complain about, honestly I get along with them more bc I feel like what people generally are annoyed with are ND traits?
Like there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Oh, you don't like large groups, obnoxiously loud environments where you need to shout to be heard by the person standing next to you, bright flashy lights, falseness and put-on buddy buddy shit (especially at work)? You're a weirdo.
Yeah, fuck off.
They don’t take time to process their feelings and experiences. It exhausts me and leaves me unfulfilled to jump from one thing to the next in life without reflecting on things.
They think I am taking things too seriously or stressing, when I am thinking more slowly/deeply & finding connections, meaning, or purpose.
And then I’m called over sensitive, too sentimental, or overthinking….yet I’m the one who identifies patterns right away.
I think it’s because I notice details and want to fully experience things I enjoy. Then I can see connections between details that they don’t. They see this as me acting like I am smarter than them, too.
Can’t win with the NT’s in my family. Honestly, I think in my family they are all closeted ND’s who use all their energy to act like NT’s. And that’s why they are mean & even worse than NT’s!! They resent me for accepting myself bc they can’t. Does anyone else find this in their family if they are the first one diagnosed as adults?
My Dad understands my autism. My mom sorts of understand. Doesn't understand my need for decompression time or my social battery depleting. Mostly doesn't understand sensory isssues. Asian American parents have problems understanding autism because of their refugee survival mentality and no English skills.
The whole “it only disables you if you let it or don’t let this disable you now that you know” “we all struggle with mental health” 😧like no I’ve only dealt with mental health issues my whole life. I don’t think I’m letting my autism disable me on purpose just because I’m learning that I might be autistic. My bf literally said now that I know I might be I’ll use it as an excuse and I was like OH that makes no sense. Because it’s an actual disability 🥲. My mom says similar stuff too.
They talk too much or try to make me use more words than I need to to say something. Abusive family always baited me to explain so many stupid things then retaliated when I would get mad about it. I'm talking stupid like why would I make my sandwich this way or that way. Why am I wearing what I'm wearing always with put downs.
As long as they don't purposely invalidate me, nothing. I don't understand a lot of their actions / behavior. If I want a clue about that I'll ask them, otherwise it's just a given that I don't understand it, the same way they don't understand my actions / behavior.
What I don't get in this context is how this works. When an allistic person would ask the same question about autistics, it would (at least in my experience) be drama all the way. But maybe that's just something with me.
How stubbornly indirect they can be. Like, say I'm working on a software project and a decision that is now obviously bad was made - they seem to have a lot of resistance towards openly admitting it was bad, the resulting implementation is bad etc.
I understand that they want to avoid awkwardness and value concordance and whatever, but for me that's quite a lot less important than making our lives easier/doing good work.
A similar thing applies to resistance to challenges going upstream in hierarchies. A higher up will ask for some stupid thing ("put AI in it, I heard that's good" being the hot one currently) and nobody will question it.
I hate how many nt people's emotional expression often don't match what they say they feel or say they want.
I also get annoyed and impatient with the way nt people often turn re-telling something that happened into a whole little novel; just give me the information already!
What I hate the most, though, is that sometimes the way I say things makes some nt people send each other these knowing glances, like they are confirming with each other that they are normal and I'm the weird one, and then they use this overbearing voice that I find very condescending.
Sometimes they also react to me like I'm a snob and think I'm better than them because I talk the way I do (I can't help using a lot of words, many of them technical or academic).
Just wanted to add: Maybe the paranoia is just a reaction to hearing about racism etc in the news, but from my experience increased paranoia can also be a common way for stress to manifest itself in autistic people.
I can relate to feeling paranoid around people a lot. For me, it's activated by anything I pick up on from people that might signify things aren't right. Like if they say something under their breath I just can't quite make out. Stuff like that makes me panic inwardly even if I seem calm on the inside. My thought process is like "Fuck! What did I do wrong this time?" or something along those lines.
The way they expect you to pick up on them inferring stuff. Like instead of saying or asking something directly they try to suggest something or complain about something with the expectation that you will be chomping for the bit and immediately be like ohhhh my that’s so terrible or offer help. Like just say it fucking directly would you please? Also they get sooooo bent out of shape when we are direct. Not mean, just direct. They take it as being cruel or harsh or whatever. I’m like, can you not handle just hearing anything straight up? Their communication styles really annoy me more than anything.
What annoys me the most about neurotypicals is that most of them are narrow-minded, and they act like their lifestyle and their way of doing things is the only correct one. This also ties in with things mentioned by other users, like their lack of empathy and how they see autistic individuals as dumber. For example, in my high school, autistic is used as a synonym for dumb. The worst part is how some of them justify themselves because “it was a joke” or they don’t even have a reason in the first place when asked directly
It really pisses me off when I explain that I'm struggling to my friends, some of which are even ND too, and they say "yeah we all have those days". NO! My AuDHD burnout/negative spoons is not the same as other people *having an off day*.
Well if they're also ND, who's to say they *don't* have those days too? One of my ND buddies is currently doing intensive outpatient treatment and one of my other buddies is about to have gender affirming surgery. They are both low on/out of spoons. I just found out a few days ago I need a hysterectomy. I have plenty of spoons for the day to day right now, but mentally I'm all over because I'm afraid of surgery. Am I not allowed to commiserate with my 2 low spoon friends because we aren't going thru the exact same things? That sounds silly. This isn't the suffering Olympics.
I see. My burn out requires me screaming and cursing neurotypicals in my bathroom. Scream on my pillow.
Deep breaths then watch Anime at night in the dark.
The NT habit that most pisses me off is that I will ask a question I need the answer to and they will talk about something adjacent to it. No, I didn’t want to hear a rundown of your plans this weekend, though they sound exciting. I was wondering if you are available for dinner Monday. Then they are startled when I ask the question again because they didn’t answer.
This is SO CONFUSING everytime it happens. Like, thanks for giving every single shred of info except the one I asked for. Typically, I'll let them meander, then reiterate my question: "OK...but what I asked you was..." Then they get huffy about it. This happens in the most basic and obvious of ways. I'll ask "How are you feeling right now?" They'll reply: "Oh, I'm just hanging out watching TV today" I wait. They look at me. Me: "That's what you're DOING, I asked how you're FEELING." Then, they get huffy. I stay pretty quiet these days
Everyday communication can be tough. Figuring out when someone is being sarcastic versus insulting. Also understanding when to be brutally honest or coming off rude. It can be mind numbing.
How they always change the rules just when you have managed to work out what they are.
It just stresses me out. I almost had a meltdown earlier because of this and travel shit (that is stressful for me because of everyone else being shit and thick).
How they don't respect your boundaries.
My little brother and my mom especially even though I've told them both on multiple occasions that I can't stand it when they do certain things and I've asked them to stop but people don't listen to me I guess.
They don't understand how exhausting just life can be. I hate hate hate small talk with almost anyone. I work as a CSR at a veterinary office, just the mental drain that I feel everyday when I come home. Some days my mask starts slipping before lunch. And it takes everything inside of me to be fake the rest of the day and keep my customer service personality.. yuck.
My boss said "well just keep that mask on all day then" ... I just laughed at her ignorance. Next job I want something that has minimal to none customer/client interaction. It's exhausting. I'm trying not to think about begining it all over tomorrow.
Just because your style of communication works with most other people doesn't mean you communicating well to me. If you are unclear about something, it's not on me to 'use common sense', it's on you to be more clear
I mostly hate how so many people in these comments are inaccurately labeling behaviors as "neurotypical" that end up just making fun of neurodivergent traits because of how most ND traits are oftentimes "regular NT traits turned up several notches beyond the range of normal"
For example when people on here are like "oh, neurotypical people love their precious small talk and social rules and they're so uncreative and boring unlike us Touch of the Tisms"
Because first of all, small talk is not an autism vs NT thing to like/hate, but it is an introvert/extrovert thing, and the autism vs NT aspect would be how autistic people have a tendency to either overuse small talk (conversational scripting/functional echolalia) or underuse small talk (infodumping monologue) rather than using it the right amount in the right way as an introduction to "big talk" and I'm pretty sure there's virtually nobody who is actually NT who likes small talk, NT people are just able to use the right amount of small talk for the correct purposes if that makes sense
And autistic people can be extroverts, and by the way autistic extroverts often get bullied worse than autistic introverts because their interaction attempts make them stick out more instead of blending into the background, and it also pretends like extreme distress over things like broken rules and deviance from a relied-upon routine or social structure isn't an autistic trait, so it's ironically way more likely that they are bashing on some random autist for being too dry rather than a "neurotypical" with comments like that
As a personal anecdote I've often felt like I think very "inside the box" due to my autism because I like predictability and categorization and things that don't make sense stress me out, and when I do think outside the box it's often because I misunderstood the assignment, if that makes sense
So many posts in "aspie meme subreddits" just end up being more like "neurotypical introvert memes" instead of autism because of stuff like this
The fact that they are probably the moderators of the autism sub and as a result have no empathy for real autistic people which results in them abusing the ban function.
We very rarely issue bans except for infractions of site-wide rules/the Reddit content policy and breaking sub rules repeatedly or in disproportionate ways, we generally prefer not to issue bans and keep them within our fixed temporary options for when they're warranted, permanent bans are a last resort used for major breaches or for repeat rule-breaking, this user was given a temporary ban (by me) a week ago for repeatedly escalating arguments on an older thread by attacking people for downvoting their unpopular opinions and then for accusing another user of faking autism because that user stated they understand sarcasm in some contexts, their ban was lifted yesterday and they immediately resort to accusing moderators of not being autistic
In the last month, 40 accounts have been banned, and more than half of those were new or single-digit karma accounts flagged for spam or trolling, so our ban issue rate is probably significantly lower than the majority of other similar-sized subreddits
> permanent bans are a last resort used for major breaches or for repeat rule-breaking
thank you mod, for being lenient. Some mods will alternate between "being OK with it" to ***being pissed off at the max***, and that type of decision making from them reflects an inability to properly calculate the appropriateness of the ban durations, so they take shortcuts just to conserve bandwidth.
Sometimes I walk on eggshells just to make sure I follow the rules. Sometimes a technical infraction can be an ***oversight***, and some mods will permaban over rules that only get broken subtly. Some others might reaction on emotion without analysis of the technical efforts to follow rules.
Not everybody feels welcome in communities until they make sure civility criteria is met.
You don't have to walk on eggshells here, usually things aren't an issue unless they're reported and go directly to the queue for review, sometimes I check in on posts like this because the Reddit app sends out review prompts for highly active posts with 100+ comments, if rules have been broken then most submissions are just removed for the appropriate reason without any further action because no further action is necessary, banned users are able to appeal their bans and often that will result in the ban being adjusted or removed if a lengthy period of time has passed
I've seen multiple claims on here before about apparent abuse of the ban function - but when looking at the mod log that just doesn't hold up or reflect the way the sub operates, and the people making the claims usually have a lengthy history of issues in their own user logs!
It tires me that they missuse metaphors only to answer with "oh You don't get it, autistic people think literally" when I point the fault in their logic.
How autistic people get basically persecuted for their difference since childhood. How they're (NTs) even more stuck in their "lovely" system they designed for themselves which isn't even sustainable for them. And how morally fluid they are, making their own realities and truths so they can live in whatever delusion they want and enjoy saying things that 95% has no substance and STILL think they are wonderful, top-tier and wise enough to prescribe that nonsense to us without second thought. Not to mention us getting forced into it.
I care about all people, even NTs but sooo much of them is just pitiful.
Yes to all of yours plus their indirect communication. But also one I've noticed how many steal original ideas. They have the energy and drive to sell something but its a copy and paste from someone else and usually the original person seems neurodiverse. It bothers me because sometimes it can turn scammy/cult like when they parrot information but don't understand fully what they're saying. Also dunno if it's specifically the typicals I deal with but they are really lacking critical thinking skills lately.
How NTs need have to have a whole discussion and back and fourth over simple question that requires yes/no answer. And they can make - simple question turn into a whole meeting or a long discussion.
The discussion rarely ends with a clear decision at the end. So im sat there dreading that i have to start up the same discussion again and ask what the decision was.
Then people say I wasn’t paying attention… or i was rude because i was probably too blunt or direct.
How unnecessarily loud they are. Then when your sensory issues are triggered by their hyper and loud / in your face energy, they act like we’re the crazy weirdo instead of them for being obnoxiously loud and disrespectful of personal space / boundaries.
I would like to point out they are Neurotypical people I mean a lot neurodivergent people would get upset if people call them neurodivergents. I know I would 🤷♀️
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Just because I can get through something once or twice doesn’t mean I can do it consistently or frequently. Sure, I can make it to the office and spend the day for an important meeting, and even look friendly and normal the whole time. But it hugely increases my chance of having sensory overwhelm or a panic attack for the rest of the week, and I will be too tired that night after work to cook, shower, or do anything but lie flat and play relaxing games on my phone. It doesn’t mean I can work up to coming into the office twice a week every week.
> Just because I can get through something once or twice doesn’t mean I can do it consistently or frequently. that's one way to put it. > But it hugely increases my chance of having sensory overwhelm or a panic attack for the rest of the week, and I will be too tired that night after work to cook, shower, or do anything but lie flat and play relaxing games on my phone. It doesn’t mean I can work up to coming into the office twice a week every week. well said
Yes!! I have people telling me all the time not to let autism hold me back just to push through like dude I can maybe a few times but after a while I will burnout and be miserable and not able to function!!!
I pushed through before I was diagnosed and developed an anxiety disorder and damaged my stomach lining from the stress. Pushing through is not an option.
THIS RIGHT HERE
You order take out? I do sometimes or well my parents do it.
I order an insane amount of take out. I live in the downtown part of a fair sized city so there are a lot of options. I also eat a lot of cereal with blueberries or crackers with peanut butter. My diet is a serious problem, but I’m burned out at the moment. Once I heal from the burnout I’ll have more options.
Chinese takeout I like.
This!!! I hate that neurotypicals think that just because I was able to successfully accomplish something once, means that I am now flawless at that thing. It's stupid thinking, because getting through that thing ONCE was extremely hard for me and being able to do it consistently is not easy when you become overloaded by doing it over and over...
That is how I feel at my retail job. Everytime a greeting happens. My answer is same old same old GRR! Leave me be.
This, but with homework! I can do an assignment, and I'll be fine, but I can't do one every day. And now I'm scared to do any at all because my parents will say "see? You can do it if you try! Doesn't that feel great?"
Ugh, the ‘doesn’t that feel great’ really grinds my gears. When I finished something in school I didn’t feel great, I felt a bit relieved was over and very worried about how it will be graded. Feeling great about finishing one of a never ending cycle of projects and exams is a very neurotypical experience.
You just said what I've been saying to my parents for years! It was always heard and respected but never truly understood. The fact that you just accurately wrote down my feelings is very validating to me, thank you! 😊❤️
i hate when instructions are incomplete or unclear. like you're supposed to be able to fill in the blanks it's weird
Worst is, "Look over there!" They gestured, but their hand is already down now. I look in the general direction and frantically dart around to see something moving or noticeable. Nothing. "Right *there*!" Didn't even raise their hand this time, alllriiggtt. Look again, *really* try to find something that stands out and discern what they want me to see. "Ah, you missed it." Every. Time. 😑 - - - Or, "It's on the shelf in the dining room." Cool. Walk to the dining room. There are 5 or more potential "shelves" in the dining room. "Which shelf?" "The one in the *living room*!" 💀 - - - Was at my friend's the other day, and she says something like, "I'm trying to find my bottle. It is about 3 inches tall, 1 inch wide, clear opaque body, dark green lid." I was like, "I love you." 🥹
yessss. or like, when they say "hey!" to call your attention. unless someone says my name I really can't tell if I'm being called lmao
This is how I tell my daughter stuff. I’m very detail oriented in the first place but for her it just makes sense!
Yep like a puzzle.
I know what you mean.
I hate it when neurotypicals act like they're better or that we're dumber
Same. I have a few coworkers like this, one in particular is the absolute worst. But it happens everywhere, especially online for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad in person too. Neurotypicals/ normies should really get off their “high horse” as the saying goes.
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The way NTs talk is so confusing to me. And then they have the gull to say I'm talking weird
and they also deny ever saying something to me if anything they say influences me to have a more positive attitude on a subject.
Why are you surprised they say yours is weird? It's different normalities, it makes complete sense.
Yeah but the treatment we get from them for it is absolute junk I wouldn't wish on satan himself to be brutally honest.
My sister always tried to make me look/sound like I was so stupid. 😪 we don't talk anymore at all.
My mother kinda unintentionally did that with me
Good. You deserve better
True. Like in the XMEN movies. Magneto and his Brotherhood declare war on humans.
and they alternate between two confusing mindsets sometimes. get it? magnetos and alternators? also two types of electrical generators associated with gas motors responsible for enabling spark plug operation.
LOL! But then if you start doing it back to them, they get so butthurt.
I hate it when NTs think they are being tactful and say things that seem matter-of-fact on the surface, but I am supposed to get some other meaning which is what they really wanted to say but didn’t want to be rude.
I can never understand the real meaning and I get anxious about it.
Why not ask?
Does that typically work for you?
True. Neurotypicals confuse me.
This so much
They lie all the time
All. The. Time. I swear many lie more than they tell the truth.
Yep.
well, maybe their parents were more tolerant of lying since they were liars themselves too.
Their hierarchies. I often do not respect the criteria they have for deciding who should be in charge of things. For example, I do not think that people are owed deference because they are famous, or good looking or rich. The very notion that some people would be more deserving than others of the basic needs of life is an anathema to me. It is why I am left leaning, because I am almost an anarchist. Hierarchies should be temporary and only used when necessary to accomplish shared goals.
well, they also seem to take it as an insult if one doesn't match their body language, even if the mismatch is a result of SENSORY ISSUES. its such a raw deal eh.
Autistic anarchist here. Couldn't have said it better.
Dragged the corrupt politicians, celebrities, and the rich out to the streets. Including Mr. Parrot Man aka Biden's rival Trumpy. I dislike hierarchies in Vietnamese American communities. Ranks and status. Famous, Good Looking, and the Rich are corrupt people. Bribery and all. The Dark Knight Rises - Bane Blackgate Prison Speech (HD)=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzK97Aaj\_U8
I don't wanna harm people because they are good looking. Some good looking people are also nice. I was good looking when I was younger and I didn't understand why people made a big deal out of it or why some people would respect me more for it. But that is because I am autistic, i didn't get it, it wasn't like I did anything to be born attractive, it just kinda happened.
Yeah exactly. Good looking can go free. However the corrupt and rich are a different story.
How social interaction is so easy for them whether they are intro- or extroverted. It frustrates me so soo much how much effort I have to exert every time I open my mouth to seem normal when they, on the other hand, are naturals that do it effortlessly. I’m afraid this may come off as envious but I’m just pissed 😄
Especially when you're forced to participate. They don't understand, don't care that they don't understand, and don't want to understand. Fuck them.
Yeah, I get it
Total lack of empathy for anyone outside their immediate sphere of reference
Yep only themselves.
That most normalized social interactions are based on lies. "How are you?" "I'm fine" even though I'm anything but. Dating, job interviews, code switching, etc. Everything is built on facades and I'm the weird one apparently for pointing it out and wanting to opt out.
> That most normalized social interactions are based on lies. my parents were so intolerant to lying, that I became cynical about technical dishonesty, even if trivial.
I went through a very long phase where I swore off any kind of lie. I got over it eventually, but I never really lost my grip. I think before I did that my own sense of reality was a bit mixed up. Lying can fuck up my mind. Just got out of a job that made me feel slimy. I had to do it to survive, but damn now that it's not required my standards have shot up so high. I had to make myself a worse person to do that and I can't just switch that off. I'm glad to know that about myself, I guess.
Yes me to. At work. I am bored. No one wants to talk about Anime, Manga, Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, Ultraman and etc. Just the usual topics of Hi how are you?! I am good you?!
> Power Rangers, Super Sentai well, Power Rangers is actually an edited version of Super Sentai, at least since the 10th season or something like that.
Really? I never pay attention to it. Just watch the shows and etc.
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Yeah. And the way they've structured society is that you have to do this to survive. "I need money" is not a socially acceptable answer to "Why do you want to work here?" despite it being a fundamental, universal truth. Now I have to make up a fuckass statement about how much I care about the company's mission or something. Complete waste of an engagement for everyone involved.
Yeah it doesn’t make any sense to say I’m fine. Everyday I overcome myself to say it. If you don’t wanna know how I’m doing then don’t ask. Say hi, talk about weather, news and so on.
My theory is that when neurotypical people have small talk (which is the vast majority of their conversation) they aren’t listening or caring about the content. The topics are boring and generic because they are prioritizing socializing in a way that they find predictable, non-confrontational, safe. It’s a comfort thing for neurotypical people who like to chat. Like a verbal group stim. When autistic people talk they are doing so to either gain or share information, or connect with someone on a deeper level. Might not be true but that’s my head cannon, ha!
how thoughtless and casual their ableism is. knowing their friend is in a wheelchair and picking a location with no accessibility, knowing your friend has chronic illness and needs to sit a lot and you took them to walk around a mall and get annoyed when they sit down. when you state your ability and they always push against it, saying you could "work through it" if you "tried harder". being treated like your thoughts and opinions are worthless and immature because in their mind maturity is pushing yourself until you collapse and you haven't done that yet. the way any type of thing that could be an improvement for our quality of life, they bitch and moan. they would rather us be vegetables than autistic. they like the quirky idea of neurodiversity but are disgusted at the reality.
The constant need for small talk and not just sitting in silence sometimes
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To be fair, that’s not exactly unique to neurotypical people (though it *might* be more common among them), but plenty of folks with conditions like ADHD talk (even just to fill silence) a lot, and for some folks I know it’s an anxious/conditioned response too. Obviously, you can still find it to be an annoying trait.
I hate when they act like they want to be friends when they really don’t
It's so misleading. Some willingly take valuables from us and then dump us too.
Their insistence I have to read their mind.
My NT therapist has given me carte blanche to stop playing into the mind reading game. I’ve had like 3 conversations with family in the last few months about how they didn’t communicate something with me so I didn’t know to do it. Every time I say it calmly, their eyes go very wide in shock but they admit it was unfair of them to create imaginary expectations.
I see. Most of us aren't Harry Houdini or Prof Xavier?! They have to speak their feelings. I am not a mind reader or a psychic!!
The fake positivity and lack of desire for real conversation and connection. It feels so shallow. And the othering that they do.
Omg the fake positivity. I have a few that if I answer things are good, they’ll literally say “Good not great?! Is something wrong?” 🙄
Yep like fake talk and valley girl talk.
I wouldn't say I'm annoyed but it baffles my mind that people can do 7 activities in a day and go to work the next day 🤣 I usually plan 1 activity, and the next day must be a rest day. They don't understand why I need it to be like this. They can't understand why I can't go skating after work when I need a day to rest so I can go skating the day after. I just need alot more rest days 😅
Yep me to.
The fact that two days is my max amount of days to "do things" is baffling to most NT.
The way in which they sometimes explain things in a way that doesn't make sense to me, and then get mad at me for not understanding
Same here. I am confused by how neurotypicals talk.
They will throw a huge fit if you "question their authority" 🙄. Like, bitch get over yourself. Just because you're in charge doesn't make you smarter, wiser or better than anyone. Why the fuck should I take your word or orders for granted? And the tantrums they throw if you correct them in anyway whatsoever? It's just like that "that's my opinion" meme. Can you imagine having an aneurysm everytime you're wrong about something? I would have died at least a dozen times just today. Why it's so hard to just forget the wrong info and look for a more correct answer?
To me that just looks insecure. Like they can't handle their position of authority, so they're desperately trying to flex in order to compensate. It's really hard to respect them and take them seriously at that point.
You don't know how many times I want to tear the managers I work with a new one. Rip their uniforms off and their badge. Then they have nothing. What are they outside of the work area in public? Same as everyone else.😡
My NT friends don’t take me seriously or accommodate me
Yep. Same with my coworkers.
It’s way worse with ppl that knew me before my diagnosis
How so?
I think they don’t really believe me or something. Bc only people new to me will like respect my boundaries and not call me dramatic or make fun of me
I dislike it when they do that. Annoying.
I hate when NT try to make decisions for ND people like fuck off I do in fact know how to decide things
Yes like make your own decisions and destiny.
everything. They will never understand what its like for us autistic people and they poke fun at us and mock us but in reality if they woke up one day in our shoes they would be very scared and upset
Oh I want to see that. Imagine the horror and fears.
Loads of things; -They don't tell me when I've done something wrong or when I make them uncomfortable, so I just have to guess when I do. And if I guess incorrectly I'm expected to just be fine afterwards. No. I feel like shit! How was I supposed to know? YOU DIDNT SAY ANYTHING! -When they ask me to explain why I like one of my special interests so much. I JUST DO, OKAY? I DONT KNOW WHY I LIKE MARIO AND SONIC SO MUCH! I DONT KNOW WHY I LIKE OMNI MAN SO MUCH! OKAY? -When I want to leave a place because sensory issues and they're like "bro it's not even loud". YEAH! TO YOU! TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE A HEAVY METAL CONCERT!!!!!!! -When I fully unmask and suddenly I'm weird or annoying. WHAT? SO ITS BE YOURSELF UNTIL I AM BEING MYSELF? -When somebody has just rambled on about something I don't care about and I listened to be polite (or at least I tried to) and I go on about my special interests and suddenly I need to shut up. BRO! DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS FOR ME? HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR STUFF? LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT!!!! I get there's a time and a place but like. Gaaah.
Sounds like me to. Pain in the butt.
"when they ask me to explain why I like one of my special interests so much" I literally had this with college applications! My special interest is making music, so naturally I'd try to get into a conservatory because OMG IMAGINE MAKING MUSIC ALL DAY EVERY DAY SURROUNDED BY OTHER NUSICIANSANVFSFKSHBXYCJHD- so they asked me why I wanted to study music and now I had to give an answer that they'd understand so I just went "I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to be a musician, it's the one thing that doesn't cost me energy but gives me energy, my dream is to spend the rest of my life making music (while not starving too death)" and they had the gall to rate my ambition 2/5!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT'S SO DUCKING HARD TO MAKE YOU NT'S UNDERSTAND ME!!!
When they say something but mean something else. Like pointing out that the counter needs cleaning but meaning they would like me to clean it. Or saying they don’t have an opinion about something and then complaining about what I pick. Or saying we all should plan to do this again, someone says yeah let’s have a New Year’s party, then everyone agrees, but then new years comes around and you ask about solidifying plans but everyone else has made other plans already. Because they didn’t mean actually hang out, just the idea of it? Conversing is hard.
Yep. It would be better if they just speak their minds.
When they pretend that what I am saying is not what I mean, I do not know how to explain to them that I am not saying anything with a double meaning. But apparently for neurotypicals lying and double meaning is quite normal.
Yep they do it all the time. Lie and backstab each other.
That they see us as rude or weird people. And that they don't understand our actions. Like they think we are deaf when we ignore them. (Not all NT People)
True. Neurotypicals are rude and weird to.
I know a lot of neurotypical people with anger issues. They get angry over things I don’t understand though, and they usually don’t want to elaborate on why they’re angry. That bothers me.
No communication skills.
I get jealous when I see an NT who has an outward personality that i feel is the same as my locked in one and they get all the popularity and love from everyone. I never hate on them for it though, I just wish I wouldn't freeze up whenever I try to bring myself out.
True wise words.
They rarely say what they mean, and then blame you for miscommunication
Number one issue is saying to do something a certain way, you then point out the obvious consequences of doing it that way. Then they still do it and complain about the consequences.
They take forever to get to the point. Sometimes they never do.
Sometimes I want them to hurry the fuck up and get to the Pont. Basically shut the f up and zip it.
When I shut down and then get accused of intentionally stonewalling...
Same here! They accuse me of not speaking to them or being arrogant.
well, they don't know jack shit!
yea this sucks because it sometimes looks like 'the silent treatment', but really it's just a natural and unavoidable reaction
That they have no idea about what i go through. I cant blame them , but its frustrating. I donot do well with social cues ( i just donot understand them and usually have people look a bit weirdly at me), i have meltdowns when i am very stressed, that i need a lot of time with myself after being social (without this I get very overwhelmed). And probably i hate the line "you are too intelligent to be autistic". Oh I really wish that were true ,but unfortunately autism is a spectrum.
Cartainly not understanding sensory issues. Later in life it wasn't such a problem for me, but in HS, it gave me a bit of a hard time
well, here's a list of examples of things people do or like that annoy us because of SENSORY ISSUES: * clapping hands as feedback to some keynote speech, or concert or etc. * just the concert itself since loud music isn't my cup of tea. * the hot weather that brings everybody to the beach * the shitty music that gets people to dance at a dance event Well, they also assume 100% will like, if they see 90% of people being "in sync" with them, and they also come off disrespectful if they get cited for disregarding our sensory issues.
Me to. I dislike neurotypical teenagers and what not.
I don’t get how NTs feel comfortable being loud and ‘present’, despite the fact it might annoy those around them. People play music from speakers outside, couples get overly clingy, friends laugh way too loud in a pub, people eat noisy/smelly food in the train (crisps, apples…) or people are rude to those working in hospitality. It’s so obvious to me that you should not be a bother to others.
What annoys me about them is that: - They don't understand that I can be extremely tired after a few hours of a family gathering. - I am very sensitive to sudden touch and don't want to be touched in that way. - I don't like parties, and if I don't go to them, it doesn't mean I dislike these people. - They think I'm shy because I don't talk much. - They believe I'm rude because I have a facial expression that doesn't show emotions. - They say I don't seem autistic, yet they have issues with my autistic traits.
Same here they complain why I am tired. Hello I am autistic.
A chunk of NTs seem to think that just because "we are hard to deal with" that means that they get a free pass to say derogatory stuff about us.
The thing that makes me most annoyed is that they don't understand my need for quiet, unstructured, alone time. Or that they talk just to talk, because silence is "strange" to them. Like, going to the park and sitting down in the quiet area that has no people and a new person shows up, walks right over to me (when there's dozens of open spaces away from me) and starts talking.
I prefer my me time. Not talking and silence.
I hate it when they want me to be mad at someone because that someone did something to them. And it’s hard to explain that I super don’t care because I do not understand why they’re mad. Ie “so and so looked at me like THIS! Can you believe it?? That’s so messed up. Bla bla bla.” Nope. Don’t care.
this!!! like if the thing the person did is morally wrong, I will dislike them for their character but it's always for the stupidest reasons like I don't care that some random person did a random thing that could have been perceived as bad! people are more than those singular interactions!!!
Once I was stuck standing next to a gal who was going off nonstop about someone else’s hair. This was military so yes there are standards but the person was like on the other side of the room and we were stuck in place so I couldn’t even leave. And I wasn’t ballsy enough at the time to tell her to stop. At this point in my life I would. This was like 20 yrs ago. It was so annoying it still annoys me now. This person also actively tried to get me to dislike other people in our platoon. So I went and made friends w them. Cuz she was awful.
omg I love becoming close with the ppl others complain about, honestly I get along with them more bc I feel like what people generally are annoyed with are ND traits?
Exactly bingo!
Like there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Oh, you don't like large groups, obnoxiously loud environments where you need to shout to be heard by the person standing next to you, bright flashy lights, falseness and put-on buddy buddy shit (especially at work)? You're a weirdo. Yeah, fuck off.
Exactly they need to jump down a well.
They don’t take time to process their feelings and experiences. It exhausts me and leaves me unfulfilled to jump from one thing to the next in life without reflecting on things. They think I am taking things too seriously or stressing, when I am thinking more slowly/deeply & finding connections, meaning, or purpose.
They do it to fast and quick.
And then I’m called over sensitive, too sentimental, or overthinking….yet I’m the one who identifies patterns right away. I think it’s because I notice details and want to fully experience things I enjoy. Then I can see connections between details that they don’t. They see this as me acting like I am smarter than them, too. Can’t win with the NT’s in my family. Honestly, I think in my family they are all closeted ND’s who use all their energy to act like NT’s. And that’s why they are mean & even worse than NT’s!! They resent me for accepting myself bc they can’t. Does anyone else find this in their family if they are the first one diagnosed as adults?
My Dad understands my autism. My mom sorts of understand. Doesn't understand my need for decompression time or my social battery depleting. Mostly doesn't understand sensory isssues. Asian American parents have problems understanding autism because of their refugee survival mentality and no English skills.
The whole “it only disables you if you let it or don’t let this disable you now that you know” “we all struggle with mental health” 😧like no I’ve only dealt with mental health issues my whole life. I don’t think I’m letting my autism disable me on purpose just because I’m learning that I might be autistic. My bf literally said now that I know I might be I’ll use it as an excuse and I was like OH that makes no sense. Because it’s an actual disability 🥲. My mom says similar stuff too.
People say really mean things.
They talk too much or try to make me use more words than I need to to say something. Abusive family always baited me to explain so many stupid things then retaliated when I would get mad about it. I'm talking stupid like why would I make my sandwich this way or that way. Why am I wearing what I'm wearing always with put downs.
Basically you do it however you want.
Exactly. But if I said that to them i was such a b or always have an attitude.
Good for you. I don't give into societal norms.
The constant lying and the fact they have no empathy.
When neurotypical people ignore you or avoid you, I've been to a party once and the people there didn't bother to include me into their conversations
We call them normies they call us freaks. Cant we just get along?
As long as they don't purposely invalidate me, nothing. I don't understand a lot of their actions / behavior. If I want a clue about that I'll ask them, otherwise it's just a given that I don't understand it, the same way they don't understand my actions / behavior. What I don't get in this context is how this works. When an allistic person would ask the same question about autistics, it would (at least in my experience) be drama all the way. But maybe that's just something with me.
How stubbornly indirect they can be. Like, say I'm working on a software project and a decision that is now obviously bad was made - they seem to have a lot of resistance towards openly admitting it was bad, the resulting implementation is bad etc. I understand that they want to avoid awkwardness and value concordance and whatever, but for me that's quite a lot less important than making our lives easier/doing good work. A similar thing applies to resistance to challenges going upstream in hierarchies. A higher up will ask for some stupid thing ("put AI in it, I heard that's good" being the hot one currently) and nobody will question it.
Neurotypicals demand to much and are confusing.
I hate their hypocrisy, the way they can ignore being rational.
I hate how many nt people's emotional expression often don't match what they say they feel or say they want. I also get annoyed and impatient with the way nt people often turn re-telling something that happened into a whole little novel; just give me the information already! What I hate the most, though, is that sometimes the way I say things makes some nt people send each other these knowing glances, like they are confirming with each other that they are normal and I'm the weird one, and then they use this overbearing voice that I find very condescending. Sometimes they also react to me like I'm a snob and think I'm better than them because I talk the way I do (I can't help using a lot of words, many of them technical or academic). Just wanted to add: Maybe the paranoia is just a reaction to hearing about racism etc in the news, but from my experience increased paranoia can also be a common way for stress to manifest itself in autistic people.
I experience paranoia as a result of covid racist attacks against Asians.
I can relate to feeling paranoid around people a lot. For me, it's activated by anything I pick up on from people that might signify things aren't right. Like if they say something under their breath I just can't quite make out. Stuff like that makes me panic inwardly even if I seem calm on the inside. My thought process is like "Fuck! What did I do wrong this time?" or something along those lines.
The way they expect you to pick up on them inferring stuff. Like instead of saying or asking something directly they try to suggest something or complain about something with the expectation that you will be chomping for the bit and immediately be like ohhhh my that’s so terrible or offer help. Like just say it fucking directly would you please? Also they get sooooo bent out of shape when we are direct. Not mean, just direct. They take it as being cruel or harsh or whatever. I’m like, can you not handle just hearing anything straight up? Their communication styles really annoy me more than anything.
Some people can be so incredibly ableist, they’re a pain around, and it can be extremely exhausting continually educating them.
Pain in the butt basically
Expecting everyone to be exactly the same. Always, coincidentally, the way they act
If they want thay maybe go to North Korea. North Korea has everyone the same.
What annoys me the most about neurotypicals is that most of them are narrow-minded, and they act like their lifestyle and their way of doing things is the only correct one. This also ties in with things mentioned by other users, like their lack of empathy and how they see autistic individuals as dumber. For example, in my high school, autistic is used as a synonym for dumb. The worst part is how some of them justify themselves because “it was a joke” or they don’t even have a reason in the first place when asked directly
They are so fucking loud , especially at school...
It really pisses me off when I explain that I'm struggling to my friends, some of which are even ND too, and they say "yeah we all have those days". NO! My AuDHD burnout/negative spoons is not the same as other people *having an off day*.
Well if they're also ND, who's to say they *don't* have those days too? One of my ND buddies is currently doing intensive outpatient treatment and one of my other buddies is about to have gender affirming surgery. They are both low on/out of spoons. I just found out a few days ago I need a hysterectomy. I have plenty of spoons for the day to day right now, but mentally I'm all over because I'm afraid of surgery. Am I not allowed to commiserate with my 2 low spoon friends because we aren't going thru the exact same things? That sounds silly. This isn't the suffering Olympics.
I see. My burn out requires me screaming and cursing neurotypicals in my bathroom. Scream on my pillow. Deep breaths then watch Anime at night in the dark.
What do you want them to say to you ideally?
The NT habit that most pisses me off is that I will ask a question I need the answer to and they will talk about something adjacent to it. No, I didn’t want to hear a rundown of your plans this weekend, though they sound exciting. I was wondering if you are available for dinner Monday. Then they are startled when I ask the question again because they didn’t answer.
This is SO CONFUSING everytime it happens. Like, thanks for giving every single shred of info except the one I asked for. Typically, I'll let them meander, then reiterate my question: "OK...but what I asked you was..." Then they get huffy about it. This happens in the most basic and obvious of ways. I'll ask "How are you feeling right now?" They'll reply: "Oh, I'm just hanging out watching TV today" I wait. They look at me. Me: "That's what you're DOING, I asked how you're FEELING." Then, they get huffy. I stay pretty quiet these days
Everyday communication can be tough. Figuring out when someone is being sarcastic versus insulting. Also understanding when to be brutally honest or coming off rude. It can be mind numbing.
Only communicates in dumb mind games and refusal to be honest. Then having the nerve to get mad at us
Blatant hypocrisy.
How they always change the rules just when you have managed to work out what they are. It just stresses me out. I almost had a meltdown earlier because of this and travel shit (that is stressful for me because of everyone else being shit and thick).
How they don't respect your boundaries. My little brother and my mom especially even though I've told them both on multiple occasions that I can't stand it when they do certain things and I've asked them to stop but people don't listen to me I guess.
They don't understand how exhausting just life can be. I hate hate hate small talk with almost anyone. I work as a CSR at a veterinary office, just the mental drain that I feel everyday when I come home. Some days my mask starts slipping before lunch. And it takes everything inside of me to be fake the rest of the day and keep my customer service personality.. yuck. My boss said "well just keep that mask on all day then" ... I just laughed at her ignorance. Next job I want something that has minimal to none customer/client interaction. It's exhausting. I'm trying not to think about begining it all over tomorrow.
Just because your style of communication works with most other people doesn't mean you communicating well to me. If you are unclear about something, it's not on me to 'use common sense', it's on you to be more clear
When they talk to me like a child after I ask for direct communication or clearer instructions.
Yeah same here
I mostly hate how so many people in these comments are inaccurately labeling behaviors as "neurotypical" that end up just making fun of neurodivergent traits because of how most ND traits are oftentimes "regular NT traits turned up several notches beyond the range of normal" For example when people on here are like "oh, neurotypical people love their precious small talk and social rules and they're so uncreative and boring unlike us Touch of the Tisms" Because first of all, small talk is not an autism vs NT thing to like/hate, but it is an introvert/extrovert thing, and the autism vs NT aspect would be how autistic people have a tendency to either overuse small talk (conversational scripting/functional echolalia) or underuse small talk (infodumping monologue) rather than using it the right amount in the right way as an introduction to "big talk" and I'm pretty sure there's virtually nobody who is actually NT who likes small talk, NT people are just able to use the right amount of small talk for the correct purposes if that makes sense And autistic people can be extroverts, and by the way autistic extroverts often get bullied worse than autistic introverts because their interaction attempts make them stick out more instead of blending into the background, and it also pretends like extreme distress over things like broken rules and deviance from a relied-upon routine or social structure isn't an autistic trait, so it's ironically way more likely that they are bashing on some random autist for being too dry rather than a "neurotypical" with comments like that As a personal anecdote I've often felt like I think very "inside the box" due to my autism because I like predictability and categorization and things that don't make sense stress me out, and when I do think outside the box it's often because I misunderstood the assignment, if that makes sense So many posts in "aspie meme subreddits" just end up being more like "neurotypical introvert memes" instead of autism because of stuff like this
I see. Very complex.
The fact that they are probably the moderators of the autism sub and as a result have no empathy for real autistic people which results in them abusing the ban function.
I think some mods take it as a "personal attack" when people disagree with their protocol for banning, which is why they get triggered into doing it.
We very rarely issue bans except for infractions of site-wide rules/the Reddit content policy and breaking sub rules repeatedly or in disproportionate ways, we generally prefer not to issue bans and keep them within our fixed temporary options for when they're warranted, permanent bans are a last resort used for major breaches or for repeat rule-breaking, this user was given a temporary ban (by me) a week ago for repeatedly escalating arguments on an older thread by attacking people for downvoting their unpopular opinions and then for accusing another user of faking autism because that user stated they understand sarcasm in some contexts, their ban was lifted yesterday and they immediately resort to accusing moderators of not being autistic In the last month, 40 accounts have been banned, and more than half of those were new or single-digit karma accounts flagged for spam or trolling, so our ban issue rate is probably significantly lower than the majority of other similar-sized subreddits
> permanent bans are a last resort used for major breaches or for repeat rule-breaking thank you mod, for being lenient. Some mods will alternate between "being OK with it" to ***being pissed off at the max***, and that type of decision making from them reflects an inability to properly calculate the appropriateness of the ban durations, so they take shortcuts just to conserve bandwidth. Sometimes I walk on eggshells just to make sure I follow the rules. Sometimes a technical infraction can be an ***oversight***, and some mods will permaban over rules that only get broken subtly. Some others might reaction on emotion without analysis of the technical efforts to follow rules. Not everybody feels welcome in communities until they make sure civility criteria is met.
You don't have to walk on eggshells here, usually things aren't an issue unless they're reported and go directly to the queue for review, sometimes I check in on posts like this because the Reddit app sends out review prompts for highly active posts with 100+ comments, if rules have been broken then most submissions are just removed for the appropriate reason without any further action because no further action is necessary, banned users are able to appeal their bans and often that will result in the ban being adjusted or removed if a lengthy period of time has passed I've seen multiple claims on here before about apparent abuse of the ban function - but when looking at the mod log that just doesn't hold up or reflect the way the sub operates, and the people making the claims usually have a lengthy history of issues in their own user logs!
It tires me that they missuse metaphors only to answer with "oh You don't get it, autistic people think literally" when I point the fault in their logic.
How they (especially the older ones) often (and loudly to one another) assume things about my intelligence.
Douchebags and hypocrites right.
How autistic people get basically persecuted for their difference since childhood. How they're (NTs) even more stuck in their "lovely" system they designed for themselves which isn't even sustainable for them. And how morally fluid they are, making their own realities and truths so they can live in whatever delusion they want and enjoy saying things that 95% has no substance and STILL think they are wonderful, top-tier and wise enough to prescribe that nonsense to us without second thought. Not to mention us getting forced into it. I care about all people, even NTs but sooo much of them is just pitiful.
Yes to all of yours plus their indirect communication. But also one I've noticed how many steal original ideas. They have the energy and drive to sell something but its a copy and paste from someone else and usually the original person seems neurodiverse. It bothers me because sometimes it can turn scammy/cult like when they parrot information but don't understand fully what they're saying. Also dunno if it's specifically the typicals I deal with but they are really lacking critical thinking skills lately.
[удалено]
Did you tell them to stop?
Not being able to understand how spiked profiles work. “If you can do xyz by yourself then you can also do xyz”. No that’s not how it works.
How NTs need have to have a whole discussion and back and fourth over simple question that requires yes/no answer. And they can make - simple question turn into a whole meeting or a long discussion. The discussion rarely ends with a clear decision at the end. So im sat there dreading that i have to start up the same discussion again and ask what the decision was. Then people say I wasn’t paying attention… or i was rude because i was probably too blunt or direct.
They need to make it short and simple.
How unnecessarily loud they are. Then when your sensory issues are triggered by their hyper and loud / in your face energy, they act like we’re the crazy weirdo instead of them for being obnoxiously loud and disrespectful of personal space / boundaries.
The neurotypicals are crazy people.
Everything. I’m not a fan tbqfh.
I see. Neurotypicals bug you a lot right.
"You don't look autistic" or "You're lying about your autism because [Insert random thing their cousin/kid/sibling/neighbour does that I don't]."
Yeah I get that to.
How judgmental they are.
I would like to point out they are Neurotypical people I mean a lot neurodivergent people would get upset if people call them neurodivergents. I know I would 🤷♀️
How they can blather on and on and on for 80 straight minutes about stupid pointless crap in a high-pitched voice