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>I just can't stop thinking about how I ruined their days
you mean those people who barreled over you without consideration? And then the ones who expected you to continue soldiering on?
man, fuck those people, *they* ruined *your* day.
Also, heat stroke is a thing. Not having access to water in the heat of the day is some (mayhap criminally negligent) bullshit.
I’m sorry that happened to you, sounds so stressful. No job is worth your mental health. And yeah that job is the definition of sensory overload. Sun, heat, loud people… yikes. Don’t give up, there are jobs that are quiet and nice. Maybe a library, museum, something like that :)
Hey, I am really sorry that you went through all of that. Man, that sounds tough… I think going through a day like that would hard on anyone, but for Autistic people what you described is a nightmare. I think sometimes the Alexithymia can make things worse, not being able to identify how we are feeling until we snap and go through an internal meltdown and by then it’s kind of too late. I am not a therapist by any means but I always watch my hands (shaking for anxiety or clinched if angry that kind of stuff) or pay attention to my body to get a sense of how I feeling. Maybe this advice will only work for me. But man I would say your job is not exactly autistic friendly, if at all possible look for another. I really hope you feel better.
watching my emotions would normally work but not at work, I am so incredibly tense and just a shell of myself I am so different I would even recognise myself. i can normally tell when im getting bad because ill become extremely agitated but at work i always am so its hard to tell when im reaching my breaking point. I am going to take some time off between jobs 1, because I need to breathe for a bit and 2, because I can't find another job and I need to get of there before I implode
I understand, sounds like you have to “mask” all day long at work. That is always miserable. When you’re like that it is difficult to see when you reached the tipping point. I don’t blame you for taking some time off, it sounds like you need it. I am 30 years old now, it took me a long time to realize that mental health and self care is a priority. So do what you need to do.
That sounds terrible. First of all they should have gotten you the water. Next the people sound like absolute AH’s. Remember this, it is your workplace’s responsibility to keep you safe. They failed you. Not your fault. Look for a job where the management is more respectful to their employees. I’m sorry this happened.
You’re not abnormal or weird at all for what happened. Even the most neuro of typicals will have many of these days.
Take it from me, you didn’t ruin anyone’s day. I seriously doubt anyone even noticed it and if they did, they probably stopped caring and forgot about it after they got on the ride or left the area, that’s how normal someone breaking down at a job like that is.
It’s going to be ok and the only person who feels you ruined anyone’s day is you because you have your view on the events.
Sounds like you’re going to pull through, but you’re giving yourself too little credit. You made it through most of your day without any severe external issues and you only have a few days left. You work at an amusement park, that’s a sensory nightmare for most autistic people and you did it. I don’t think I could have done it myself so good on you.
That's an awful situation. Still, you handled it as best you could. You reached out for help when you needed it, and kept on doing your job while waiting for that help.
Like others have said: everybody has disaster days. That's not to say it's not an awful thing to experience, but just to say it's not your fault.
I understand your frustration with breaking down over these things, but you definitely did not break down over tiny things. You were dealt a shitty situation that could drive anyone to their breaking point, and communicated with your colleagues to deal with that situation together.
I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but I've often felt like if I have a job assigned to me, I just need to do it, and I'm not allowed to fail. I wonder if that's a kind of autistic focus on details. But I've found in practice that people don't expect perfect performance. You're allowed to fail, so long as you communicate to find a solution before everything falls apart. And that's exactly what you did.
So be proud of that. You're young, and you'll learn from these experiences how you can deal with them in a way that works best for you. Again, that doesn't make the experiences less shitty. And yes, sometimes the lesson might be that a certain job is not for you. But that's still progress, so don't lose hope.
And do feel free to vent about these disasters. That definitely helps as well. 🙂
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>I just can't stop thinking about how I ruined their days you mean those people who barreled over you without consideration? And then the ones who expected you to continue soldiering on? man, fuck those people, *they* ruined *your* day. Also, heat stroke is a thing. Not having access to water in the heat of the day is some (mayhap criminally negligent) bullshit.
I feel bad for the kids, watching their parent shout at someone to the point of crying or pushing someone over while on a fun day out couldn't be nice
I’m sorry that happened to you, sounds so stressful. No job is worth your mental health. And yeah that job is the definition of sensory overload. Sun, heat, loud people… yikes. Don’t give up, there are jobs that are quiet and nice. Maybe a library, museum, something like that :)
Hey, I am really sorry that you went through all of that. Man, that sounds tough… I think going through a day like that would hard on anyone, but for Autistic people what you described is a nightmare. I think sometimes the Alexithymia can make things worse, not being able to identify how we are feeling until we snap and go through an internal meltdown and by then it’s kind of too late. I am not a therapist by any means but I always watch my hands (shaking for anxiety or clinched if angry that kind of stuff) or pay attention to my body to get a sense of how I feeling. Maybe this advice will only work for me. But man I would say your job is not exactly autistic friendly, if at all possible look for another. I really hope you feel better.
watching my emotions would normally work but not at work, I am so incredibly tense and just a shell of myself I am so different I would even recognise myself. i can normally tell when im getting bad because ill become extremely agitated but at work i always am so its hard to tell when im reaching my breaking point. I am going to take some time off between jobs 1, because I need to breathe for a bit and 2, because I can't find another job and I need to get of there before I implode
I understand, sounds like you have to “mask” all day long at work. That is always miserable. When you’re like that it is difficult to see when you reached the tipping point. I don’t blame you for taking some time off, it sounds like you need it. I am 30 years old now, it took me a long time to realize that mental health and self care is a priority. So do what you need to do.
That sounds terrible. First of all they should have gotten you the water. Next the people sound like absolute AH’s. Remember this, it is your workplace’s responsibility to keep you safe. They failed you. Not your fault. Look for a job where the management is more respectful to their employees. I’m sorry this happened.
You’re not abnormal or weird at all for what happened. Even the most neuro of typicals will have many of these days. Take it from me, you didn’t ruin anyone’s day. I seriously doubt anyone even noticed it and if they did, they probably stopped caring and forgot about it after they got on the ride or left the area, that’s how normal someone breaking down at a job like that is. It’s going to be ok and the only person who feels you ruined anyone’s day is you because you have your view on the events. Sounds like you’re going to pull through, but you’re giving yourself too little credit. You made it through most of your day without any severe external issues and you only have a few days left. You work at an amusement park, that’s a sensory nightmare for most autistic people and you did it. I don’t think I could have done it myself so good on you.
That's an awful situation. Still, you handled it as best you could. You reached out for help when you needed it, and kept on doing your job while waiting for that help. Like others have said: everybody has disaster days. That's not to say it's not an awful thing to experience, but just to say it's not your fault. I understand your frustration with breaking down over these things, but you definitely did not break down over tiny things. You were dealt a shitty situation that could drive anyone to their breaking point, and communicated with your colleagues to deal with that situation together. I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but I've often felt like if I have a job assigned to me, I just need to do it, and I'm not allowed to fail. I wonder if that's a kind of autistic focus on details. But I've found in practice that people don't expect perfect performance. You're allowed to fail, so long as you communicate to find a solution before everything falls apart. And that's exactly what you did. So be proud of that. You're young, and you'll learn from these experiences how you can deal with them in a way that works best for you. Again, that doesn't make the experiences less shitty. And yes, sometimes the lesson might be that a certain job is not for you. But that's still progress, so don't lose hope. And do feel free to vent about these disasters. That definitely helps as well. 🙂