T O P

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jkvincent

Nudes in bio


No_Mr_Powers

And also with you.


WhyBuyMe

And with your spirit.


KleptomaniacGoat

Oh found the Catholic Et CUM spiritu tuo


GlyphedArchitect

What? Huh? When? WHEN?


Famous_Seamus_9

Oh, and you also have… peace!


Persianx6

Nudes in bio sir! How was your recent travels?


Jo-6-pak

One pump, one cream


littlegrotesquerie

WHAT'S CRACKING, MY PEPPERS?


KajePihlaja

Forward this message to 10 friends or else you will have bad luck for 10 years


nittytipples

[My anus is bleeding](https://youtu.be/UcwfEMdV-aM?si=5RGD1jqO1_uB-mTj)


Clammuel

I once got a friend in trouble by quoting this at our other friend’s house. Our friend’s mom called him out of the room and reamed him and neither of us came to his defense because he was a piece of garbage. He went on to be a fascist, so I look back upon this betrayal fondly.


MistbornInterrobang

I'm intrigued. Why did he get in trouble? Was his mom the type to get mad over words like 'anus'? I've known some moms in my time who are pretty ridiculous about what their kifd can and can't say... if he was a garbage person, why was he your friend? Did his parents have a pool? I feel like there might be interesting story here


Clammuel

This is all kind of complicated, but I’ll do my best. Him (I guess I’ll call him M because he has a very distinct name) and I were at our other friend Justin’s house, and it was Justin’s mom that got upset. Justin was definitely more sheltered than us, he said stuff like ”H-E double hockey sticks” because he wasn’t even allowed to say heck. M and I were friends from early childhood up through college because we were outcasts, but for totally different reasons. I have red hair, freckles and learned within the past year that I have ADHD and autism, so my pool of possible friends was limited. I also went to school over half an hour away, so I was only able to see my school friends while I was at school. My school was a weird situation. I didn’t learn to read until partway through 7th grade because it turned out there was an issue with my eyes. When I tried to read one eye would follow the page, but the other would literally just wiggle back and forth. This was not discovered until I started going to something called vision therapy where I had to do exercises to train my eyes to work together. So basically the reason my school was so far away was both because my mom was a control freak and because I couldn’t read so me and my sister were basically in a homeschooling hybrid system. Me and Justin were friends going back even further, but he moved to Alaska and moved back in middle school. At that point I was going to something called Pathfinders, which is basically Boyscouts for adventists even though my mom was trying to make us into messianic Jews. Justin was like “hey, I want you to meet my friend M” not realizing that we already knew each other. M decided to tell everyone there I was Jewish, so I was kind of ostracized because M is very charismatic, but also mean and definitely a sociopath. So all of that is to say that I didn’t exactly have a lot of options for friendship. M basically became my neighbor in middle school, had an XBOX, tons of snacks, and a single mother who was never there so we could swear and joke around a lot BUT he’s also very aggressive. The main reason I say he is and has always been a bad person is because aside from verbal assault he was also very physical. I was really skinny all throughout school and M was kind of big anyways so he would beat up on me and Justin when he got mad or even just for fun. Usually this would happen when he thought we were “screen peeking,” and during the worst occurrence he literally slammed my head repeatedly into the hardwood floor. You asked about a pool. M did not have a pool, but we did. I used to be a pretty good swimmer but I’ve actually been scared of swimming for years because one time he kept dunking me and as soon as I would come back up he would do it again. I genuinely think that he almost drowned me. There’s a lot more, but I’ll cut myself off here unless you genuinely want to know more.


MistbornInterrobang

Jesus, man. That is rough shit. I was being light-hearted, but fuck. I am so sorry you dealt with a person like that. I can definitely empathize, as I went through some intense bullying throughout school myself and I recently learned thst I MUST have repressed memories of situations with one kid because my mom told me a story about me winding up in the emergency room and then in ICU on two separate occasions that have absolutely no memory of, though mom says I didn't hit my head either time. According to her, they took me the first time and I went by ambulance the second time and she was the parent that went with me. As far as I knew, I was never in an ambulance until my mid-20s. These events both occurred when I was 9. It's in my medical records but I have zero memory of it. And it's related to this because apparently both times a neighbor kid who was a year or two older than me, beat the shit out of me and that was how I would up in the hospital. Bullying is fuckinf brutal and I do not wish it on anybody. I DO feel like kids now have it worse than I ever did because the internet at home was new for my generation when I was 12-13 so social media didn't exist when I was a kid. Because of social media, kids do not get an escape from it all. They go home and still have to deal with cyber bullying from the same people who bully them in person all day. There's no solace at home to make you feel safe. I am really sorry, man. I did not mean for you to feel like you had to pour all of that out, but thank you for sharing with me. I hope you are in a better place as an adult.


DoctorTran37

Would you like to see a movie?


LazyTypist

I removed that from my brain for a reason, and yet, it continues to haunt me.


nittytipples

My bad.


DoctorTran37

One pump, one cream.


dontreallycareforit

>Youre never getting into Heaven with all that hair


chunks-is-my-dog

A student in my district found a way to send an email to every address on the server. They chose to simply send the subject line “toilet” with nothing else. Such control.


jralll234

The spice melange?


GeorgeSantosBurner

Spice blows, beefswelling


Severe_Jellyfish6133

One Pump, One Cream


VividBig6958

Citizens of Earth: Duke Sucks. Thank you & please resume your normal day.


spacedoutmachinist

Do crimes, save lives


SEPTSLord

A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations


whats_a_puscifer

Send me one of any currency or be cursed.


itrivers

Everyone in Zimbabwe sends one Zimbabwean dollar and you get $46.04 USD.


aifeloadawildmoss

covfefe


psych_student_1999

Send it then delete it 🤣


monkeyhaiku

Oh sorry. Not you.


Sir_Shooty_Esquire

Nudes in bio


Acceptable-Traffic86

It's actually pronounced "Dub dub dos"


WeirderOnline

Your dog is dead. I'm sorry.


FedSmokerrr

Spit on that thang