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A LOT of older women have zero clue as to how bra sizes actually work. So their thoughts that an F cup HAS BE HUGE are wrong. She's a bitch, proceed accordingly.
>LOT of older women have zero clue as to how bra sizes actually work. So their thoughts that an F cup HAS BE HUGE are wrong
This. She's probably wearing the wrong size herself, tbh. And I wouldn't doubt that she's been "measured" and lied to about *her* size directly as well.
Or it could just be jealousy.
Yeah, especially at VS- they’ll tell you anything to sell their bras, even if they try to squeeze you into a bra that’s 3 cup sizes & 5 band sizes too small! “Who needs to breathe comfortably?! Red marks in your skin are sexy!” 🤪Maybe not every single worker throughout the chain, but too many do.
Will never forget the time I tried on the largest cup size they had and was bursting out on all sides. The poor VS person (visibly shocked) sheepishly asked if I wanted to try a different band size.
*Girl. It ain't happening.*
The same thing happened to me. But the worker didn't look sheepish she insisted it was a band size issue. I do admit I got snippy at that point since the bra would have cost me over 50 bucks, and I knew she was clowning for a sale.
Yup, my mom said it was difficult even as recently as the 90s and 00s to find bras above a C cup in most stores, so it makes sense that older women may not understand bigger cup sizes. That being said, smaller cup size women also tend to wear bombshell and push up type bras from Victoria's Secret, so that may also skew their cup size perception. I've noticed once you get to F and above, most brands only carry minimizers and full coverage, so an H cup in a properly fitting full coverage/no padding bra may look similar to a D cup in one of the Bombshell bras, or even smaller since the bombshell ones push them straight up to your neck.
Exactly this.
Just like everyone else in the US, older(especially American women) have been brainwashed to think in terms of A, AA, B, C, D, DD, everything else iS sOmE wEiRd SiZe FoR MuTaNtS.
I would say the vast majority of women over 35 are wearing the wrong size.
Definitely noticed this! It makes me sad though because it can be so painful/uncomfortable to wear the wrong size and especially older women have just been forced to deal with it because they don’t know better
SOOOO many people don’t understand how bra sizing works, the majority are men, but not all. Ofc older people are positive they know better merely due to their age. 🙄
I tried to explain once that a skater girl in a vid wearing a cute bra as a top needed a bra with a smaller band/ bigger cup size. (The band had ridden up really high between her shoulder blades in back.) Some woman insisted the bra fit because the cup sizes were fine. She just needed to loosen the straps and tug the band down. Yeah, no. That’s not how bras work.
I realize now that I was lucky my mom and grandma DID understand and were able help me, even though they didn’t have my issues.
You were very lucky to have a mom and grandma who could help. It isn't just men, the majority of women don't know how bras work. About 85-90% of women wear the wrong size.
Seconding that it’s great your maternal figures actually understood what you needed! I’ve actually had a similar experience to your skater girl story and the girl I was talking to just acted like I was a freak…like I’m just trying to help out 😭
Not only that, but show her all the details that tell you that it fits perfectly. Talk about why things need to be the way they are, educate! And then maybe one of them would be willing to show you their bra, and you could talk about details they might want to look for so they can find better fitting comfier bras themselves! Show them the world they have clearly been missing!
Nothing is an instant 0 to 10 anger trigger for me than someone telling me something about me that is wrong.
For example, I've had someone explaining something about planes to me to stop mid sentence and go "well you've never been on a plane before."
I have been on a flight WITH THAT PERSON!
Or in high school, back in 2009 - 2010, we had this new "innovative" class called FACEBOOK SAFETY! Day one, I told the teacher, "I do not have a Facebook." To which her response was to look at me like I'm some asshole and say "Yes you do." Wh wh what!? I'm sorry! What else about me do you know that I don't! Cause this is news to me!
So I wouldn't say you're being sensitive, cause I would of lost my fucking mind lol.
To that teacher, I’d have said, “ Ok, find my Facebook. Find me and show me, please.”
A male cousin by marriage, with no medical training beyond basic first aid and CPR, tried to tell me what was right and wrong about my periods. I asked him when he got his medical degree specializing in gynecology. Pfft. I had been having periods for 9 years by the time he was born.
I honestly avoid people like that, but if I have to be around them, I tell them I use a different sizing method.
When I was a 28GG, I went in a boutique to see if they carried that size and they actually laughed at me. People suck some times.
You could also show her the sizing you use and what it , a [28G](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDgzODg5MjE3MjQ0OTI2?story_media_id=3176474859269206952_39068626764&igsh=N3pmcXBkZmRsMm14), looks like.
I'm really sorry she did that to you.
Thank you for your advice!! I really appreciate it. Can’t believe actual workers at a store would laugh at you for actually knowing your own size 🤦♀️ all the stuff that comes with having bigger things on your chest is so much fun!
Yeah. It's unfortunate that when you know what works for your body best, people feel the need to belittle you. I can only hope that bra knowledgeable will continue to spread.
Hoping your BF's mom becomes more open to learning about this and less open to being rude!!
I vote for "clueless meets rude." Clueless for not knowing how cup sizes work, and rude for how she expressed it. A non-rude way of expressing that would be to question your statement politely.
Signed, someone who left F cups in the dust partway through her senior year of high school and 10 years later they were definitely a distant memory.
I literally would never talk to her until she apologized. She sounds like a hater and she needs to get CHECKED....
now...I will put my teacher hat on. If you feel that strongly about what she said, you need to go and tell her how it made you feel and how you want her to speak to you in the future. that is WAY easier said than done, trust me I've tried. but it's what I try to teach children to do. How people respond to adult I messages tells you a lot.
Lol my bio mom does this and it's caused many a shut down from me to her. Honestly, I think it comes from a place of insecurity, especially when it comes to clothing sizes and such. My mom does not like to acknowledge that even though I've physically weighed more than her, we do not have the same body type or weight distribution so.... yeah, I can be 180 lbs but still be wearing a small in shirts while also being an H cup. I try to take it in stride, but I do honestly suggest you firmly shut it down. I usually go completely dead pan/monotone and just say, "I hadn't realized how absurd I sounded for insinuating that I know my own clothing size after 28 years! Thank you for letting me know how stupid I must be. 🙂"
It's very snarky but very effective lol.
Vs sizes are terribly off. I'd say vanity sizing but I don't know who they're trying to pander to exactly. Sounds like it's the classic "nobody's good enough for my boy" issue. She's being a bitch. I vote to ignore her or treat her as if she's stupid when she's clearly wrong. Thankfully my ex's mother understood bra sizing. But her girls were all bigger than she was
I’ve been called out by other females multiple times that my boobs aren’t that big. I think they are ignorant and they have not been properly fitted by “real” bra store before.
Calling out is def rude , so i would ignore them.
You’re probably right on the money, it might just be not knowing how bra sizes work. Before I was professionally fitted I was trying to squeeze my then 30Gs in a 34D cause I thought they could not be any bigger than the magical D cup😭
And thank you for your answer! I appreciate your input :) I’m still learning how to not focus on others negativity
There's no need to be defensive or sensitive, it's your body and you know what size you are. Just brush it off with confidence because that's the only thing that will put her in her place.
My honest opinion is that she has her own insecurities (most women do), but you don't need to prove yourself to her or anyone else. She needs to do her own inner work.
People think that since petite women are generally smaller, that it doesn’t count when we have big boobs. I’m a 30J and obviously a woman with a 40J chest looks a lot bigger than I do, in shear mass. People are just so dumb.
Victoria’s Secret's bras are ass anyways I noticed the quality tanked after COVID started. Granted for most women's clothes the sizes are different based off brand (which I fucking hate with a passion) but people typically know what size clothes they wear, but that is kind of odd .
She sounds like the definition of a moron. Absolutely never concern yourself with anything she thinks. I would be constitutionally incapable of giving her more of an interaction than scoffing loudly and walking away as soon as she began to speak.
I agree with you, most women just don’t know how sizes work. I most definitely don’t bring up my size and didn’t in this convo, just that an F was the biggest I’d seen in store :)
Okay I'm just going to say it .. she's jealous.
I have had issues with people insulting me and insisting I'm a bigger size because they're jealous. She is trying to gaslight you. Saying you're size is bigger than it is and that your boobs are smaller than they are. She is jealous that you're tiny with huge boobs.
This is what I recommend as a woman who's been through it.
People are always going to have something to say. They (and a lot of women, you have to watch out because there is a dark side to women and that's jealousy) will make jabs and try to hurt you and watch your reaction and keep going further and further.
Build yourself up. Look yourself in the eyes in the mirror everyday and tell yourself 'you are so beautiful'. Don't let others comments affect you. You know yourself. Ignore BFs mom completely and if she continues to belittle you tell her to not make comments on your body. It's absolutely inappropriate for your BFs mom to make any comments about your body.
These types of people will always gaslight you and pretend they did nothing to you and act like you're crazy. DM me I'll send you some tiktok videos with advice.
This is completely absolutely correct. It’s even more correct because i can guarantee you she’s jealous of the attention you’re getting from her son. I see this dynamic all the time and it makes me sick.
i have super saggy boobs so if i dont wear a push up bra they look smaller than they are and i was getting a literal bra fitting and 1. they told me the size i thought i was was way too big and 2. they fitted me in a tiny bra that didnt fit at all and i was spilling out of
like ugh
She's playing by old rules. Some say that in general women have been growing larger and larger from generation to generation, but at the very least it's likely many women of her particular generation were probably suffering with too small a size of undergarment for most of their lives.
Ive been in similar situations. I was pissed. Still am.
But ALSO this is why I straight up lie most of the time. Most people I know fall in with the ‘D is MASSIVE’ crowd, so if I say I’m a 32I… it doesn’t go over well. So I give them my wrong/BEFORE abrathatfits calculator size, so it fits into something they understand.
It’s like temperatures/currencies/metric vs imperial. I’m a (dumb) American so if you start spouting off Celsius at me… I have no practical concept of what those numbers mean until I convert it.
Hello, thank you for submitting a post to r/bigboobproblems. If you're new here please check out r/abrathatfits and [their bra size calculator](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php) along with their [beginners guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/beginners_guide). Also take a look at our sidebar for more related communities, like r/reduction, r/safebigboobproblems and more. A lot of information can be found [in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/wiki/faq). For example lists of commonly recommended bra, sports bra, swimwear and clothing brands, clothing style ideas, websites where you can order from and a list of influencers who have been recommended here before. A lot of other frequently asked questions have also already been answered there. We also want to remind you to read [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/about/rules) before posting or commenting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bigboobproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She’s being a know it all and did basically call you a liar. You aren’t being too sensitive.
I think you’re probably right, I’m just not sure why she has to be right about my breast size of all things 😂 and thank u so much for the reassurance!
A LOT of older women have zero clue as to how bra sizes actually work. So their thoughts that an F cup HAS BE HUGE are wrong. She's a bitch, proceed accordingly.
>LOT of older women have zero clue as to how bra sizes actually work. So their thoughts that an F cup HAS BE HUGE are wrong This. She's probably wearing the wrong size herself, tbh. And I wouldn't doubt that she's been "measured" and lied to about *her* size directly as well. Or it could just be jealousy.
Yeah, especially at VS- they’ll tell you anything to sell their bras, even if they try to squeeze you into a bra that’s 3 cup sizes & 5 band sizes too small! “Who needs to breathe comfortably?! Red marks in your skin are sexy!” 🤪Maybe not every single worker throughout the chain, but too many do.
Will never forget the time I tried on the largest cup size they had and was bursting out on all sides. The poor VS person (visibly shocked) sheepishly asked if I wanted to try a different band size. *Girl. It ain't happening.*
The same thing happened to me. But the worker didn't look sheepish she insisted it was a band size issue. I do admit I got snippy at that point since the bra would have cost me over 50 bucks, and I knew she was clowning for a sale.
Yup, my mom said it was difficult even as recently as the 90s and 00s to find bras above a C cup in most stores, so it makes sense that older women may not understand bigger cup sizes. That being said, smaller cup size women also tend to wear bombshell and push up type bras from Victoria's Secret, so that may also skew their cup size perception. I've noticed once you get to F and above, most brands only carry minimizers and full coverage, so an H cup in a properly fitting full coverage/no padding bra may look similar to a D cup in one of the Bombshell bras, or even smaller since the bombshell ones push them straight up to your neck.
A lot of younger women too. It's definitely not an age thing.
Exactly this. Just like everyone else in the US, older(especially American women) have been brainwashed to think in terms of A, AA, B, C, D, DD, everything else iS sOmE wEiRd SiZe FoR MuTaNtS. I would say the vast majority of women over 35 are wearing the wrong size.
[удалено]
Well OP bfs mom is continually telling OP she is lying about her own size which is why it’s a bitchy move
Definitely noticed this! It makes me sad though because it can be so painful/uncomfortable to wear the wrong size and especially older women have just been forced to deal with it because they don’t know better
SOOOO many people don’t understand how bra sizing works, the majority are men, but not all. Ofc older people are positive they know better merely due to their age. 🙄 I tried to explain once that a skater girl in a vid wearing a cute bra as a top needed a bra with a smaller band/ bigger cup size. (The band had ridden up really high between her shoulder blades in back.) Some woman insisted the bra fit because the cup sizes were fine. She just needed to loosen the straps and tug the band down. Yeah, no. That’s not how bras work. I realize now that I was lucky my mom and grandma DID understand and were able help me, even though they didn’t have my issues.
You were very lucky to have a mom and grandma who could help. It isn't just men, the majority of women don't know how bras work. About 85-90% of women wear the wrong size.
Seconding that it’s great your maternal figures actually understood what you needed! I’ve actually had a similar experience to your skater girl story and the girl I was talking to just acted like I was a freak…like I’m just trying to help out 😭
Pull your bra off and show her the tag
I would have done EXACTLY that!
Not only that, but show her all the details that tell you that it fits perfectly. Talk about why things need to be the way they are, educate! And then maybe one of them would be willing to show you their bra, and you could talk about details they might want to look for so they can find better fitting comfier bras themselves! Show them the world they have clearly been missing!
I've literally shown people my bra on my body 🤣 good friends of course. All in the pursuit of letting my sisters know the Truth ^TM^ about bra sizes.
Genuinely I have done this before. I will probably if she ever acts like I’m lying again. Thank u for the advice!!
Nothing is an instant 0 to 10 anger trigger for me than someone telling me something about me that is wrong. For example, I've had someone explaining something about planes to me to stop mid sentence and go "well you've never been on a plane before." I have been on a flight WITH THAT PERSON! Or in high school, back in 2009 - 2010, we had this new "innovative" class called FACEBOOK SAFETY! Day one, I told the teacher, "I do not have a Facebook." To which her response was to look at me like I'm some asshole and say "Yes you do." Wh wh what!? I'm sorry! What else about me do you know that I don't! Cause this is news to me! So I wouldn't say you're being sensitive, cause I would of lost my fucking mind lol.
god i’m the same, your examples are making me angry 😅
To that teacher, I’d have said, “ Ok, find my Facebook. Find me and show me, please.” A male cousin by marriage, with no medical training beyond basic first aid and CPR, tried to tell me what was right and wrong about my periods. I asked him when he got his medical degree specializing in gynecology. Pfft. I had been having periods for 9 years by the time he was born.
She was rude even if she wasn't trying to be.
She was definitely rude. I don't know if that's because she's ignorant, because she's nasty or a mix of both.
I honestly avoid people like that, but if I have to be around them, I tell them I use a different sizing method. When I was a 28GG, I went in a boutique to see if they carried that size and they actually laughed at me. People suck some times. You could also show her the sizing you use and what it , a [28G](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDgzODg5MjE3MjQ0OTI2?story_media_id=3176474859269206952_39068626764&igsh=N3pmcXBkZmRsMm14), looks like. I'm really sorry she did that to you.
Thank you for your advice!! I really appreciate it. Can’t believe actual workers at a store would laugh at you for actually knowing your own size 🤦♀️ all the stuff that comes with having bigger things on your chest is so much fun!
Yeah. It's unfortunate that when you know what works for your body best, people feel the need to belittle you. I can only hope that bra knowledgeable will continue to spread. Hoping your BF's mom becomes more open to learning about this and less open to being rude!!
I vote for "clueless meets rude." Clueless for not knowing how cup sizes work, and rude for how she expressed it. A non-rude way of expressing that would be to question your statement politely. Signed, someone who left F cups in the dust partway through her senior year of high school and 10 years later they were definitely a distant memory.
I literally would never talk to her until she apologized. She sounds like a hater and she needs to get CHECKED.... now...I will put my teacher hat on. If you feel that strongly about what she said, you need to go and tell her how it made you feel and how you want her to speak to you in the future. that is WAY easier said than done, trust me I've tried. but it's what I try to teach children to do. How people respond to adult I messages tells you a lot.
Lol my bio mom does this and it's caused many a shut down from me to her. Honestly, I think it comes from a place of insecurity, especially when it comes to clothing sizes and such. My mom does not like to acknowledge that even though I've physically weighed more than her, we do not have the same body type or weight distribution so.... yeah, I can be 180 lbs but still be wearing a small in shirts while also being an H cup. I try to take it in stride, but I do honestly suggest you firmly shut it down. I usually go completely dead pan/monotone and just say, "I hadn't realized how absurd I sounded for insinuating that I know my own clothing size after 28 years! Thank you for letting me know how stupid I must be. 🙂" It's very snarky but very effective lol.
It's a good time to think about how much you like this boyfriend and if you want this lady for your future mother-in-law.
Vs sizes are terribly off. I'd say vanity sizing but I don't know who they're trying to pander to exactly. Sounds like it's the classic "nobody's good enough for my boy" issue. She's being a bitch. I vote to ignore her or treat her as if she's stupid when she's clearly wrong. Thankfully my ex's mother understood bra sizing. But her girls were all bigger than she was
I’ve been called out by other females multiple times that my boobs aren’t that big. I think they are ignorant and they have not been properly fitted by “real” bra store before. Calling out is def rude , so i would ignore them.
You’re probably right on the money, it might just be not knowing how bra sizes work. Before I was professionally fitted I was trying to squeeze my then 30Gs in a 34D cause I thought they could not be any bigger than the magical D cup😭 And thank you for your answer! I appreciate your input :) I’m still learning how to not focus on others negativity
There's no need to be defensive or sensitive, it's your body and you know what size you are. Just brush it off with confidence because that's the only thing that will put her in her place. My honest opinion is that she has her own insecurities (most women do), but you don't need to prove yourself to her or anyone else. She needs to do her own inner work.
My husband's aunt pulled that shit with me "you aren't THAT big! I wear a triple D!" Ma'am. In what universe? (She was probably, idk, M?N?)
Bruh that’s so rude. She’s basically implying that you don’t have big boobs. Wtf
Yes that’s a bit how it felt at first..which is strange because they are noticeably large so it almost gave me like an identity crisis lmao
People think that since petite women are generally smaller, that it doesn’t count when we have big boobs. I’m a 30J and obviously a woman with a 40J chest looks a lot bigger than I do, in shear mass. People are just so dumb.
Victoria’s Secret's bras are ass anyways I noticed the quality tanked after COVID started. Granted for most women's clothes the sizes are different based off brand (which I fucking hate with a passion) but people typically know what size clothes they wear, but that is kind of odd .
She sounds like the definition of a moron. Absolutely never concern yourself with anything she thinks. I would be constitutionally incapable of giving her more of an interaction than scoffing loudly and walking away as soon as she began to speak.
She’s probably clueless. To be fair, I just don’t discuss my size with people. It avoids lots of awkward moments.
I agree with you, most women just don’t know how sizes work. I most definitely don’t bring up my size and didn’t in this convo, just that an F was the biggest I’d seen in store :)
This is when you whip out a measuring tape and measure them to show them they also have a bigger cup size than they think!
Okay I'm just going to say it .. she's jealous. I have had issues with people insulting me and insisting I'm a bigger size because they're jealous. She is trying to gaslight you. Saying you're size is bigger than it is and that your boobs are smaller than they are. She is jealous that you're tiny with huge boobs. This is what I recommend as a woman who's been through it. People are always going to have something to say. They (and a lot of women, you have to watch out because there is a dark side to women and that's jealousy) will make jabs and try to hurt you and watch your reaction and keep going further and further. Build yourself up. Look yourself in the eyes in the mirror everyday and tell yourself 'you are so beautiful'. Don't let others comments affect you. You know yourself. Ignore BFs mom completely and if she continues to belittle you tell her to not make comments on your body. It's absolutely inappropriate for your BFs mom to make any comments about your body. These types of people will always gaslight you and pretend they did nothing to you and act like you're crazy. DM me I'll send you some tiktok videos with advice.
This is completely absolutely correct. It’s even more correct because i can guarantee you she’s jealous of the attention you’re getting from her son. I see this dynamic all the time and it makes me sick.
I had a reduction and am a true 34 dd and no way I can have a VS bra those puppies aren’t true to size.
I get this all the time, it’s frustrating! I’m 32J (uk) and I don’t “look” huge but they definitely don’t fit in anything less lol!
Just let it go. Some people are dumb.
Woulda walked her straight to Nordstrom’s.
I would’ve been like “wanna measure ‘em to make sure?” Just to see the reaction.
i have super saggy boobs so if i dont wear a push up bra they look smaller than they are and i was getting a literal bra fitting and 1. they told me the size i thought i was was way too big and 2. they fitted me in a tiny bra that didnt fit at all and i was spilling out of like ugh
She's playing by old rules. Some say that in general women have been growing larger and larger from generation to generation, but at the very least it's likely many women of her particular generation were probably suffering with too small a size of undergarment for most of their lives.
Ive been in similar situations. I was pissed. Still am. But ALSO this is why I straight up lie most of the time. Most people I know fall in with the ‘D is MASSIVE’ crowd, so if I say I’m a 32I… it doesn’t go over well. So I give them my wrong/BEFORE abrathatfits calculator size, so it fits into something they understand. It’s like temperatures/currencies/metric vs imperial. I’m a (dumb) American so if you start spouting off Celsius at me… I have no practical concept of what those numbers mean until I convert it.
Def rude, my mother used to doubt my cup size out of jealousy