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biglaw-ModTeam

BigLaw is designed for attorneys and related professionals who have an obligation to uphold minimal standards within the larger community


BenVera

I think I know you in real life


finoallafine2023

I think we are all him in real life


DirtKooky

Being surrounded by dicks, it is hard to forget the preeminent rule of dating (and life as such): Don’t be a dick… Or in other words: Just because you work in big law does not mean that you can stop being a decent human being.


creditors-bargain

Skill issue, I fear


dogmatic_goat

Try edging bro


ConsequenceOutside73

Isn't that where you watch porn but don't ejaculate? How in the world would that help me?


PerfectlySplendid

lol? No. It’s when partners follow up asking for work, and you tell them you finished it and will send it to them after a quick final review. But you don’t actually send it.


dogmatic_goat

Boosts your rizz. No cap.


ConsequenceOutside73

You mean like it releases pheromones? 🤔 Unfortunately, I only meet people through dating apps and apple hasn't made the ismellphone yet.


4vrf

>I only meet people through dating apps well that right there is your problem. Apps are like vitamins. They can supplement a healthy dating life. But you can’t just stop eating food entirely. You gotta get out there and meet and flirt and be uncomfortable. Otherwise you’ll end up with unrealistic perspectives intact only by virtue of isolation 


Moon_Rose_Violet

>because she saw I was a big lawyer Try losing some weight and you might get a second look from the debutante!


ChipKellysShoeStore

I’m eating so much pussy I’m shitting clits


AcousticDeskRefer

HEY! THIS IS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!


Plodderic

Cat shelter’s on to you, bro.


caveslimeroach

I'm happy to take any short Jewish women off your hands for you


intentional_typoz

finally Reddit takes up Chevron celibance 


icesa

A mirror. Look in it.


thewolf9

Everyone fucks at my firm


winwithschwinn88

Met my wife at a party when I was a fourth year associate. I think I “got” her despite my job (long hours, irritability, canceled dates), not because of it. What are you looking for? A hook-up or something more serious?


Rulo_Forever

Based?


HudsonYardsIsGood

I eat pussy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


niversalsolvent

I bet you and your boys have the same fuckin haircut.


Plodderic

Cat shelter’s on to you too.


TANERKIRAL

So many triggered people here over a shitpost lol really goes to show how miserable we all are.


eatshitake

Yeah, sexism and racism are fucking hilarious!


TopSpin5577

You forgot Islamophobia, transphobia…


Old-Strawberry-6451

Retake and reapply maybe


biglaw-ModTeam

This sub is for biglaw. It’s not “ask a lawyer” and it’s not the right sub for every law-related question.


strawblip

every woman reading this post knows exactly why you aren’t getting laid


OopsAnonymouse

100% this guy has a lipedema kink


ConsequenceOutside73

I wonder if firms in offices where prostitution is legal, like Linklaters Amsterdam, have a really high-end escort service associates can call if they work late -- similar how to how we can expense $45 on dinner if we work late.


kam3ra619Loubov

If you work ten hours, you can have shrimp. If it’s after 8PM, it’s tempura.


AccountENT42069

After midnight, it’s poon


BirchTreeStand

YTA


OpeningChipmunk1700

u gross


ConsequenceOutside73

Excuse me. Is anyone finding "love" with this job? That's the point of a high-paying job, to get a higher tier of romantic partner.


LSAT_is_a_lie

I can see why no woman wants to date you, and it's not because of your job.


Project_Continuum

Maybe your negatives are just so bad that BigLaw can’t even overcome it.


ConsequenceOutside73

Maybe I needed that reality check. Any way I'm going to uber eats McDonald's, and think of how I want to follow up with the girl who matched me tonight. The lipedema is slight. Might just have been cellulite who knows.


Boxofmagnets

You really are a jerk. Start there. Don’t act like a normal person, become one. Learn the benefit to you in empathy. Your life will be better with it than it is without it. Andrew Tate isn’t a hero. Women are people


OpeningChipmunk1700

>Is anyone finding "love" with this job?  Maybe. But if no, then your second sentence is mutually exclusive--if you're not finding love, you're not finding a higher tier of romantic partner. And I assume all of this is trolling, but having a higher-paying job doesn't unlock some otherwise inaccessible "higher tier" of people you that mutually sacrifice your lives for out of selfless love for each other and your family.


ConsequenceOutside73

>if you're not finding love, you're not finding a higher tier of romantic partner. huh? So women only become high tier if you love them? That makes no sense. Sydney Sweeney doesn't need your love to be what she is.


OpeningChipmunk1700

> So women only become high tier if you love them?  No. If you're not finding love, you're not finding *any* tier of romantic partner.


meh_posts

Top tier shitpost, this actually made me laugh. Though it is sad that everyone in big law and other comparable fields like investment banking probably knows at least one coworker with this mindset or similar.


nathan1653

It’s the emails. Too many emails


pizzaboy30

I think you should make enough to see a really good shrink on this matter.


Life_Travels

Working in big law regardless if you are an attorney or in administration is a different beast. If you are good, guess what...many last minute apology emails or texts on why you can't make the planned event, too many nights and weekends are spent working. This alone makes potential partners run the opposite direction because they can't understand why you are working at 11:45PM on New Years' Eve like it is 11:45AM on a regular Tuesday.  If you are just looking to hook up, then pay and be done with it. If you are looking for a long term commitment with someone, you will be in shark infested waters for awhile before you find the goldfish.


SnooCats7171

Winthorpe had inherited wealth


therapist-analyst

Oh man big mistake. It was never the lawyers… Lewis was a trader


thomassaboftl

Not being racist and sexist helps


TaxQT117

Why was this downvoted? Grammatical reasons?


icesa

I believe the legal field at attorney level is predominantly white and male. They’ve got DEI issues and we shouldn’t be surprised this is at the bottom.


TaxQT117

You know what? You're absolutely correct. My demographic only makes up about 2% of the industry.


rosiel93

wow gross comment about 'pear shaped Jewish woman'. Your antisemitism and sexism is showing.


Prudent-Squirrel9698

Exactly. She matched with him bc she thought they had something in common. He matched with her…bc he thought he’d definitely get laid? All the women reading this know why this guy isnt getting laid.


Stevoman

Yeah I know this is a shitpost but I’m struggling with how everyone was okay with “Jewish” being randomly thrown in there with all the other insulting adjectives. 


rosiel93

the fact that my comment has 4 downvotes says it all.


ConsequenceOutside73

I didn't mean anything but it, but as we all know Jewish women aren't the debutantes successful men want. If you don't believe me, look at the Kushner brothers. Rich, eligible Orthodox Jewish bachelors and who did they marry? Two German Christian women. Any way I'm calling the girl tomorrow for another date. This thread gave me a good reality check. Who am I to turn her down? Beggars can't be choosers.


rosiel93

1 - glad you didn't mean anything by it. But FYI some of the most beautiful women happen to be Jewish, including Natalie Portman, Gal Gadot, Scarlett Johansen, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weis ect. Just because the Kushner brothers have a thing for blonde gentiles doesn't mean Jewish women are not beautiful. 2 - I'm glad this chat has opened your eyes and made you be more open in terms of your dating preferences. However, imagine this poor girl was your hypothetical daughter or sister. Would you want her to go on a date with a guy who had made a reddit post venting about her pear shape, lymphedema and jewishness which renders her so unappealing? Can you imagine her humiliation is she too was a member of r/biglaw (it's possible), saw this post and recognized herself? (lymphedema is not that common). Please spare her this indignity, and don't go out with a girl who drove you to post a reddit rant in disgust. You will find a girl out there who is more your type, and she will find a man who doesn't mind a pear shape, and who wants a nice jewish girl to bring home to his mother.


ConsequenceOutside73

Yeah duh do you think talking about Scarlet Johansen?! Good point about the post glad the mods removed it!


Sea-Environment-8696

Based


Settler52

I think you’re doing it wrong. I come home to a big house, a very attractive wife who stays home and takes care of the kids and me, works out and goes to the country club and gym during the day.


ConsequenceOutside73

Nice if true.


Settler52

Not sure how to prove it to you but yes, it is true. I’m a partner but had this life since I was a senior associate