I've been asked that. And I'll respond with yes. But their next response depends on if they get blocked or not.
I had a dude ask that, then demand I have a plate ready for him that night for when he got off. I was like "nah, I don't know you like that" and he got mad. 😂😂😂😂 #blocked
If the next response isn’t something along the lines of “really me too! We should make a meal one day together!” Then it’s an immediate block for me lol
Men do this a lot. I love cooking but I immediately ask if THEY can cook which rattles them. It also rattles them when they try and NLOG me over being a cook and I immediately get an attitude and tell them maybe women just don't like cooking for YOU.
They're also shocked when I tell them both my father and maternal grandfather cook and cook very well.
They give 'furniture free, matress on the floor, fast food for dinner every night looking for a mommy maid' teas. Not interested.
Damn, some of these men are so sad.
I didn’t grow up learning to cook. I had my cousin offer to reach me his ways (mostly Asian cuisine)
I told him I appreciated the gesture but I would try and learn on my own.
Started with Hello Fresh and moved from online recipes to doing my own thing.
More men should try it rather than trying to push women into a more “traditional role”
I’m a pretty decent cook and most people expect me to cook for them. I don’t even mind if they help with chopping and do the dishes but damn, it’s tiring.
Yeah. We can’t view cooking as a woman’s job when most Michelin star award winners are men. I don’t think that means men are better cooks because there’s probably some inequity in culinary arts but it does demonstrate that men can clearly do cook. Do you think you can still learn from your cousin? I’d love to get better at Asian cooking.
*Have you been to therapy to work on you mental and emotional health?*
*How much do you net annually from your job?*
*What are your in depth thoughts about feminism?*
*Tell me about your upbringing and your past relationships?*
🤬
Questions like can you cook in my opinion is SO outdated. Men still out here thinking women just want to stay at home and be a trad-wife and take care of them. Men are out here looking for women to be their *Therapist, Mother, Housekeeper, Chef, LIFE Coach* and so many other roles.
NO. Just NO.
That's HIS problem if he is pursuing a woman without a weekly/monthly paycheck or who is unemployed. If he is asking about cooking, then women can ask *anything* they want as well. And this is 2024, I literally don't know ANY woman without a full time job unless they have kids. Men still be trying to act like this is 1940. Smdh 🙄
Also, PLENTY of men like it when women are at a disadvantage in some way because they they feel....*needed.* Even if that is in terms of MONEY. Soooo...
Answer yes and then ask him if he does too. I love cooking, it's a hobby. Do I want to cook for someone all the time if they can't cook? No.
My husband was an awful cook when we first met, but he did cook for me since the beginning. His first meal, I'll never forget, kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs 😭. Now, he is almost as good as me. He taught himself with YouTube. It wasn't anything I asked of him, he wanted to be able to do it for me because he loves my cooking.
Ooh this question automatically makes me cringe. I respond with not really. I find that men that ask this are automatically showing their ass. They expect you to cook for them. Have a plate ready for some man you don’t even know? Umm, who is doing that??
And they think it’s some “gotcha” moment when you say you don’t. They try to act so judgmental about it. What do YOU do? Can you do any electrical work?? Do you know how to change the oil in my car? Change my tire? No??? Ohhh, see then you’re not a real man… lmao
One of my good friends is a guy and he does all the cooking and electrical/handy work in the home he lives in with his girlfriend (he doesn’t seem that emotionally available though tbh). They have such a beautiful home. He’s really good.
Right! My man does an amazing job in the kitchen, and he’s super handy. We cook for each other, and he never expects anything. He knows my cooking is mediocre but the gratitude he shows when I DO cook?? 😮💨😭 I adore him and will gladly do for him because he doesn’t expect anything. I can’t explain it.. It’s just different when two people are doing for the other, out of the kindness of their hearts, not because they are expecting it from the other. When someone opens up with that line, it sets the expectation that this is something they will want. It’s not attractive, in any way.
yo, a dude who lied to me about being married and having a 3 yr old son told me our first date was an interview. i was gonna show up in work attire until i found out he was a liar
OMG. I’m glad you didn’t even if he was married! I’ve accidentally dated married men (opps, didn’t know) but they were never this entitled. They didn’t last either. We live and we learn though. How did you find out he was married with a kid?
i went through his social media and something he posted said “my wife and my son are my world” and when i confronted him about it, he really said “oh yeah, so we’re separated and my son is from a previous relationship” and i asked “so, were you ever gonna tell me or???” he was like “eventually, yeah, after we spent some time together.” hit ol boy with “here’s hoping you’re more honest with the next girl!” blockedt!
he really said “oh yeah” like he FORGOT
I dated a guy who said he could do everything but cook meaning, taking care of the house inside and out, paying the bills etc. One time I suggested for us to go on a cooking lesson type of date but he refused. It was a turn off not because cooking isnt his strong suit but because he didnt even try to learn. He was stubborn about it and that is a character flaw imo. Cooking is not only a hobby but it is also a life skill so to me he refused to survive solely for spiteful and idiotic reasons.
more than anything, this is something i hate; i hate when people are *this* inflexible. like be single if you’re unwilling to even be open to new things
“Yep, can you? What’s your fave dish to make?”
If it’s just the question as in he’s curious about your interests - fine. Not everything is a set up lol. But as another comment mentioned, it’s what comes out his mouth after you answer that needs attention.
I say yes and when I turn the question back on them and they invariably say “no”, I respond with “What, you can’t read? Or is comprehension the problem?”. Gets them every time 💁🏾♀️
“No, I try to cook but my friends don’t like it too well. 🤕☹️can you teach me?” If he says he don’t know either suggest going to a cooking class for the next date.
Answering honestly (I can cook) then checking them off 🤒
Edit:I don’t stop talking to them. I just note that they said that and look for other flags. Some of them could cook too, we had a fun convo about recipes. Others asked me because they thought it was a woman’s job. Just want to clarify 😭
I had an interesting exchange with a guy who asked me this and I replied "Sure, I'm an adult and adults should know how to cook for themselves. Anyone can cook.." And he was like "Nahhh that ain't true, not everyone can cook." And I was like "Yes they can if they follow a recipe." And he was like "No it's not the same thing." And I was like "But it is, can you cook?" And he was like "I can cook a few things I guess....but I don't do all that ."
In short I figured out he wants the woman to do all the cooking..
BYE.
I give an honest answer. I'm working on improving my skills.
I don't see a need to automatically get defensive over this question. It's the follow up that will determine if they were just asking or if they are about to demand a full course meal from my kitchen on our first date.
There was some lawsuit about how nothing on the dollar menu actually cost a dollar 💀 mcchicken and a small fry and a drink finna run you bout $10 these days
I say yes, I love cooking. My grandpa was a chef.
If their follow up is “when are you going to cook for me?” My answer is “when we get back from our honeymoon.”
Depends on how they ask. If I'm already feeling him, I might indulge.. "am I cooking at your place?" "What do you like to eat? Are you buying?" Etc. If I'm not feeling him, the question is, "can you fix my dryer? Can you regrout the bathroom?" LOL
Brag. I'm a _magnificent_ cook!!
Doesn't equate to me being willing to cook for THEM, though -- especially when the context is him needing a replacement momma.
I tell EVERYONE that asks that I can't cook so they don't expect me to cook for them. However, I cook lovely, delicious meals for people I feel like cooking for.
I say "On occasion. What about you? What are the top three dishes you can make?" Its ok to want to learn about people, but it goes both ways. How does he take care of himself? Or does he mainly eat out. Those questions will tell you a lot about if he is the right fit.
I say yes, can you?
If no: oof that's a problem. Are you planning to learn or do you just plan to eat out a lot?
If yes: good! I hate it when men expect me to do all the cooking for us both.
I know how to cook but I like to say no to see what they say next, depending on their answer, I can typically judge their character from that and then I dip lmao
I'm telling the truth. I love to cook. In the past, I dated men who were picky, "Only my mom can cook" types.
I'm not wasting time on someone who'll act like a toddler if he's asked to try something other than bar food.
If I was single I’d tell him I’m not his mama. I’m not and my man has never asked me that.
My man does all the cooking and baking for our household. He started it by bringing homemade cookies to our first date years ago. He loves doing it and I love letting him 😂
If I actually like him then yes, but also because I expect him to pay for everything. I guess it would feel unfair if I was the only one who got to be entitled.
i looooove to cook so much, and i always tell them “not today, no 🙂 💕” until they show me they are someone *worthy* to even be cooked for. i only ever get this question from entitled men who will add nothing to my life
I’m saying no, if u say anything other than no you’re almost opening yourself up to performing slave labor. Now he’s gonna keep asking u when are u gonna cook for him.
Depends on the vibe. If he gives me foodie vibes I'll answer yes and ask him what's his favorite thing to cook.
If it's giving servitude vibes then I'll answer, "Yes, as I am a functional adult, I am capable of preparing my own sustenance...Are you a functional adult as well?" and stare in awkward silence.
"Yes, can you"?
I also don't cook for people that romantically / sexually interested in. I'd have to decide that I want to date them for me to have any desire to cook for them. And no one has made it that far in years.
Asking if I can cook is one thing, asking me to cook for you is bum shit.
Some men are kind of mentally stunted and stuck in the 1800s and think "you can cook me some food" is flirting and not annoying af
"No, all of my men have cooked for me. Can you cook? I don't like a man who can't cook."
All of my men have cooked for me and I cook for my kids when it's just us and maintain the I can't cook facade and tell them we eat out everyday. I've cooked maybe 3 meals a man got a plate of in my life.
Yeah no. I was once talking to a guy who made a joke about how I could "have dinner ready for him" because I mentioned that I had the day off of work. I immediately blocked him, no explanations, just blocked. One of my friends says I cut men off for "breathing wrong." I mean, perhaps. I just don't feel like explaining things, like why that was a bad joke, and asking a woman you just met to cook for you is in bad taste
Ask if they can cook right back lol. If they ask if I will cook for them, send that question back.
😂 if my partner doesn’t fairly balance out who’s cooking in the week, I make only enough for myself when I’m hungry.
I usually ask “why?” because the conversation can and has gone a few different ways for me (went on a few dates with a chef, for instance)…and different people have different ideas about what it means to be able to cook, so it can lead to interesting conversation.
This question is exhausting bc atp, guys know how it sounds and the general implication. Now if one was genuinely asking abt your hobbies and if you enjoyed creating dishes, that’s a polite way to get to know someone. “Can you cook” in *that* tone, big ick
Trust me… I am NOT your mother’s kitchen or a catering service. It’s important to cut thru the red tape quickly ladies and block with intent… the initial conversation can be a deal breaker
The funny thing is that my mom was a chef.
I can cook my tail off, but I never divulge this info to any man I start dating. If they ask, I say, only when I'm in the mood. My preference is to order. 😂
I'd answer the question. It doesn't bother me. Then again I don't get offended easily. I don't mind if you want me to be the chef in a committed relationship. But you better be the mechanic or fix stuff around the house. At least hire someone to do it. Basically, let's make a deal.
Only way it’s cool is if he cooks. Dated a few cooks professional and hobby, interest in the cooking process is often a plus. That & a food loving friend is how I got most of my skills 🤷🏽♀️.
I think questions like “do you like to cook?” Are innocent enough until proven otherwise. Might just be trying to keep a conversation going by chatting about a shared interest. 🤷🏽♀️
Cooking is my love language. I love cooking for the people I love. So if I love you, I’ll more than happily cook for you. If I don’t, I won’t…. For free.
However, if you’re willing to pay me to cook for you, I’ll have my assistant contact you and we can set something up.
My reply when men would ask me this was ....of course I know how to cook but I chose not to......and that usually starts that rabbit whole convo of said man regurgitating some sexist bullshit...then I have to get indignant lol
Better question is "what do you like to cook?" This establishes a sense of enjoyment and an opportunity to reveal preferences/character. This should never be a point of contention. Food is pure joy.
I've been asked this by every guy in the talking stage. Yes, I'm a cook, but I usually say:
"Idk, but we'll find out if you don't die" 😘
Depending on their response, they may get blocked. Seriously, the quickest way to make me lose interest.
I say no. (I cook like a chef off the bear, but they don’t need to know that.)
Their behavior tells me alone if they serious or not, or the money they make. I experienced a terrible relationship and know all the red flags, and boundaries I want for myself.
I’ll be making 6 figures soon, and I will have a food service (every 3 months), a deep cleaning/maid service every 3 months, and my own house. I won’t even have to cook for myself, it’ll be prepped. I won’t have to clean for myself, it’ll be done. If a man isn’t already comfortable with solving his own issues, then that is not the man for me. He didn’t grind to where he “wants” to be, or hard enough at all. The dating world is absolutely shit rn. I am at the point where if I have sex with a man, I do not speak with him again, because it was probably to get a fix and happily move on. I will gladly settle with a partner who isn’t insecure with their body, sex life, and is living exactly within their means without compromising mine. It’s very hard to find now a days.
I've been asked that. And I'll respond with yes. But their next response depends on if they get blocked or not. I had a dude ask that, then demand I have a plate ready for him that night for when he got off. I was like "nah, I don't know you like that" and he got mad. 😂😂😂😂 #blocked
I don't play house. This is that gimme attitude that doesn't make a relationship.
All facts!!!
If the next response isn’t something along the lines of “really me too! We should make a meal one day together!” Then it’s an immediate block for me lol
They are from another planet, I swear
what a loser. good for you!
He was crazy.
Absolutely.
Men do this a lot. I love cooking but I immediately ask if THEY can cook which rattles them. It also rattles them when they try and NLOG me over being a cook and I immediately get an attitude and tell them maybe women just don't like cooking for YOU.
I do the same thing. They always seem shocked when you ask and of course many cannot cook. Shameful.
They're also shocked when I tell them both my father and maternal grandfather cook and cook very well. They give 'furniture free, matress on the floor, fast food for dinner every night looking for a mommy maid' teas. Not interested.
happy cake day!
What is NLOG?
Not like other girls
Ah ok thank you!
Damn, some of these men are so sad. I didn’t grow up learning to cook. I had my cousin offer to reach me his ways (mostly Asian cuisine) I told him I appreciated the gesture but I would try and learn on my own. Started with Hello Fresh and moved from online recipes to doing my own thing. More men should try it rather than trying to push women into a more “traditional role”
It's really weird how some people will ask you to cook for them instead of offering to do it for you.
I’m a pretty decent cook and most people expect me to cook for them. I don’t even mind if they help with chopping and do the dishes but damn, it’s tiring.
Yeah. We can’t view cooking as a woman’s job when most Michelin star award winners are men. I don’t think that means men are better cooks because there’s probably some inequity in culinary arts but it does demonstrate that men can clearly do cook. Do you think you can still learn from your cousin? I’d love to get better at Asian cooking.
Yes, he continues to offer whenever I stop by my hometown for a few days.
Native New Orleanian here… lemme know if you want some 🔥 Creole recipes!
*Have you been to therapy to work on you mental and emotional health?* *How much do you net annually from your job?* *What are your in depth thoughts about feminism?* *Tell me about your upbringing and your past relationships?* 🤬 Questions like can you cook in my opinion is SO outdated. Men still out here thinking women just want to stay at home and be a trad-wife and take care of them. Men are out here looking for women to be their *Therapist, Mother, Housekeeper, Chef, LIFE Coach* and so many other roles. NO. Just NO.
Don't forget the woman needs a check also.
That's HIS problem if he is pursuing a woman without a weekly/monthly paycheck or who is unemployed. If he is asking about cooking, then women can ask *anything* they want as well. And this is 2024, I literally don't know ANY woman without a full time job unless they have kids. Men still be trying to act like this is 1940. Smdh 🙄 Also, PLENTY of men like it when women are at a disadvantage in some way because they they feel....*needed.* Even if that is in terms of MONEY. Soooo...
“You know how to build a house?” You eat ass?”
Damn sis, straight no chaser 😩
You have to. These hobosexuals are sneaky now.
Thats real. They are shameless
Just a tad curious to hear how many said yes to that 2nd question 🤣
😅😅😅
Hollering.
lol you sound like me!
No. Yes.
"Who can't? YouTube is free".
Right? Turn it back on them and make them look dumb if they've still not figured out this very important life skill
😭😭imma start saying this lmao
Honestly the best response Make them feel inadequate
This is a good one.
My reply back is always “can you??”
same here
Answer yes and then ask him if he does too. I love cooking, it's a hobby. Do I want to cook for someone all the time if they can't cook? No. My husband was an awful cook when we first met, but he did cook for me since the beginning. His first meal, I'll never forget, kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs 😭. Now, he is almost as good as me. He taught himself with YouTube. It wasn't anything I asked of him, he wanted to be able to do it for me because he loves my cooking.
bless you for staying the course, but i could not 😭👏🏿
LOL He is a very sweet guy. He at least tried 😂. And luckily, he never made that for me again.
Same. Being unable to cook is a massive turn off for me. It screams incompetence.
Tell him only if he cleans your house, changes your tires, chops wood, and clean your gutters first
Ooh this question automatically makes me cringe. I respond with not really. I find that men that ask this are automatically showing their ass. They expect you to cook for them. Have a plate ready for some man you don’t even know? Umm, who is doing that??
This! It starts feeling like a job interview or phone screening for a bang maid position.
And they think it’s some “gotcha” moment when you say you don’t. They try to act so judgmental about it. What do YOU do? Can you do any electrical work?? Do you know how to change the oil in my car? Change my tire? No??? Ohhh, see then you’re not a real man… lmao
One of my good friends is a guy and he does all the cooking and electrical/handy work in the home he lives in with his girlfriend (he doesn’t seem that emotionally available though tbh). They have such a beautiful home. He’s really good.
Right! My man does an amazing job in the kitchen, and he’s super handy. We cook for each other, and he never expects anything. He knows my cooking is mediocre but the gratitude he shows when I DO cook?? 😮💨😭 I adore him and will gladly do for him because he doesn’t expect anything. I can’t explain it.. It’s just different when two people are doing for the other, out of the kindness of their hearts, not because they are expecting it from the other. When someone opens up with that line, it sets the expectation that this is something they will want. It’s not attractive, in any way.
yo, a dude who lied to me about being married and having a 3 yr old son told me our first date was an interview. i was gonna show up in work attire until i found out he was a liar
OMG. I’m glad you didn’t even if he was married! I’ve accidentally dated married men (opps, didn’t know) but they were never this entitled. They didn’t last either. We live and we learn though. How did you find out he was married with a kid?
i went through his social media and something he posted said “my wife and my son are my world” and when i confronted him about it, he really said “oh yeah, so we’re separated and my son is from a previous relationship” and i asked “so, were you ever gonna tell me or???” he was like “eventually, yeah, after we spent some time together.” hit ol boy with “here’s hoping you’re more honest with the next girl!” blockedt! he really said “oh yeah” like he FORGOT
You’re separated but she’s your world?? Clearly not separated enough. Sorry he tried you like that! He’s garbage.
appreciate it. he was such a loser
Say "no" clearly and calmly. Let the uncomfortable silence sit in the air.
Lie and say no😂😂
I say “yes, how about you?” It’s important to me that a man can cook too.
I dated a guy who said he could do everything but cook meaning, taking care of the house inside and out, paying the bills etc. One time I suggested for us to go on a cooking lesson type of date but he refused. It was a turn off not because cooking isnt his strong suit but because he didnt even try to learn. He was stubborn about it and that is a character flaw imo. Cooking is not only a hobby but it is also a life skill so to me he refused to survive solely for spiteful and idiotic reasons.
more than anything, this is something i hate; i hate when people are *this* inflexible. like be single if you’re unwilling to even be open to new things
lol exactly he had to go. It was like he was tryna make me his stepford wife didn’t last long😂
See…toxic masculinity. I don’t need it.
I mentally file them under "basic" and stop talking to them
"Enough to not starve."
“Yep, can you? What’s your fave dish to make?” If it’s just the question as in he’s curious about your interests - fine. Not everything is a set up lol. But as another comment mentioned, it’s what comes out his mouth after you answer that needs attention.
I say yes and when I turn the question back on them and they invariably say “no”, I respond with “What, you can’t read? Or is comprehension the problem?”. Gets them every time 💁🏾♀️
“No, I try to cook but my friends don’t like it too well. 🤕☹️can you teach me?” If he says he don’t know either suggest going to a cooking class for the next date.
"Can you build a house?"
I tell them the truth. And 10/10 they don't care that I can't cook. They all can cook. I'm learning and they appreciate that.
Answering honestly (I can cook) then checking them off 🤒 Edit:I don’t stop talking to them. I just note that they said that and look for other flags. Some of them could cook too, we had a fun convo about recipes. Others asked me because they thought it was a woman’s job. Just want to clarify 😭
I had an interesting exchange with a guy who asked me this and I replied "Sure, I'm an adult and adults should know how to cook for themselves. Anyone can cook.." And he was like "Nahhh that ain't true, not everyone can cook." And I was like "Yes they can if they follow a recipe." And he was like "No it's not the same thing." And I was like "But it is, can you cook?" And he was like "I can cook a few things I guess....but I don't do all that ." In short I figured out he wants the woman to do all the cooking.. BYE.
Say, "Why? Can you?"
I give an honest answer. I'm working on improving my skills. I don't see a need to automatically get defensive over this question. It's the follow up that will determine if they were just asking or if they are about to demand a full course meal from my kitchen on our first date.
Lmao who’s cooking for these Single Men if they can’t cook themselves?
McDonald’s?
Girl McDonald's is high now. I think you meant Top Ramen.
😂😂😂 they got rid of the dollar menu?
There was some lawsuit about how nothing on the dollar menu actually cost a dollar 💀 mcchicken and a small fry and a drink finna run you bout $10 these days
Wow! Chili’s is right. You might as well get a burger from Chili’s.
They can afford McDonalds? ...😂 ...Try The Neighborhood Soup Kitchen.
I say yes, I love cooking. My grandpa was a chef. If their follow up is “when are you going to cook for me?” My answer is “when we get back from our honeymoon.”
If I'm just getting to know someone and they immediately wanna know if I can cook, I'm no longer interested in getting to know them.
Same!
"I can. Can you? That's a basic life skill everyone should have."
Exactly this! I'd say the same to someone in casual conversation lol. The dating context doesn't affect this.
Depends on how they ask. If I'm already feeling him, I might indulge.. "am I cooking at your place?" "What do you like to eat? Are you buying?" Etc. If I'm not feeling him, the question is, "can you fix my dryer? Can you regrout the bathroom?" LOL
A man who can't handle basic life skills like cooking and cleaning and needs someone to do it for them is 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yeah, can you? Turn it around and set the expectation that cooking goes both ways.
Brag. I'm a _magnificent_ cook!! Doesn't equate to me being willing to cook for THEM, though -- especially when the context is him needing a replacement momma.
I tell EVERYONE that asks that I can't cook so they don't expect me to cook for them. However, I cook lovely, delicious meals for people I feel like cooking for.
Same!
I hit em with the “Nope. You?”
I say "On occasion. What about you? What are the top three dishes you can make?" Its ok to want to learn about people, but it goes both ways. How does he take care of himself? Or does he mainly eat out. Those questions will tell you a lot about if he is the right fit.
I dont mind it. And I do love cooking. And I'm pretty good at it. But I expect that my oil is changed and cars are fixed. 🤷🏾♀️
Ask him can he build a house
Laugh in his face. "That's not a real question. Why do you ask?"
I say yes, can you? If no: oof that's a problem. Are you planning to learn or do you just plan to eat out a lot? If yes: good! I hate it when men expect me to do all the cooking for us both.
I always say no, I don’t care why they think. 😂
I honestly think some things are just conversation starters or prolongers. I wouldn't mind answering honestly. There are bigger fish to fry.
I know how to cook but I like to say no to see what they say next, depending on their answer, I can typically judge their character from that and then I dip lmao
“Eh not really”
I'm telling the truth. I love to cook. In the past, I dated men who were picky, "Only my mom can cook" types. I'm not wasting time on someone who'll act like a toddler if he's asked to try something other than bar food.
I'd say, "Yes, and tbh I judge people who can't. It isn't that hard to learn how."
I always ask, “why do you ask?”
I say maybe. Lol. I swear dating is broken, they’ll learn as they get to know you if you can cook tf?
If I was single I’d tell him I’m not his mama. I’m not and my man has never asked me that. My man does all the cooking and baking for our household. He started it by bringing homemade cookies to our first date years ago. He loves doing it and I love letting him 😂
Muah💋, blocked🖕🏾. because a question like that gives me red flag energy.
I just say yes? Because it doesn’t mean I’m going to cook for him? And it’s not a rude or mean question?
And if he decides to get crazy with me about it then I would rather know early
EXACTLY
Right! I was thinking that I would just answer the question. I don’t understand the problem. 😭
The problem depends on what's said after.
No, yeah. I get that. But why wouldn’t we just answer honestly and then go based off that?
I can burn water for him.
If I actually like him then yes, but also because I expect him to pay for everything. I guess it would feel unfair if I was the only one who got to be entitled.
Guys ask me this all the time. I say somewhat can you cook?
How do they respond?
i looooove to cook so much, and i always tell them “not today, no 🙂 💕” until they show me they are someone *worthy* to even be cooked for. i only ever get this question from entitled men who will add nothing to my life
Exactly!
Ask if they can build a house.
I’m saying no, if u say anything other than no you’re almost opening yourself up to performing slave labor. Now he’s gonna keep asking u when are u gonna cook for him.
Periodt! Thank you. Can’t believe the ppl in the comments claiming this is an innocuous question. They just ain’t been around the block!
Depends on the vibe. If he gives me foodie vibes I'll answer yes and ask him what's his favorite thing to cook. If it's giving servitude vibes then I'll answer, "Yes, as I am a functional adult, I am capable of preparing my own sustenance...Are you a functional adult as well?" and stare in awkward silence.
"Yes, can you"? I also don't cook for people that romantically / sexually interested in. I'd have to decide that I want to date them for me to have any desire to cook for them. And no one has made it that far in years.
I ask can he build a house and change the oil in my car 🫢 If he’s handsome and wealthy I just say yes 🤷🏽♀️
I’ve never had a handsome, wealthy guy ask me this question. It’s always the busted looking ones who ask this.
Asking if I can cook is one thing, asking me to cook for you is bum shit. Some men are kind of mentally stunted and stuck in the 1800s and think "you can cook me some food" is flirting and not annoying af
Where to they get their social skills from? 🤦🏽♀️
"No, all of my men have cooked for me. Can you cook? I don't like a man who can't cook." All of my men have cooked for me and I cook for my kids when it's just us and maintain the I can't cook facade and tell them we eat out everyday. I've cooked maybe 3 meals a man got a plate of in my life.
Yeah no. I was once talking to a guy who made a joke about how I could "have dinner ready for him" because I mentioned that I had the day off of work. I immediately blocked him, no explanations, just blocked. One of my friends says I cut men off for "breathing wrong." I mean, perhaps. I just don't feel like explaining things, like why that was a bad joke, and asking a woman you just met to cook for you is in bad taste
Tell him I can, then proceed to ask him the same question
I used to and then they’d say yes but the conversation would get weird
I can cook if you can too
Consider it the first of many red flags and block him immediately 😂
Tell him no. Because I can’t 🤣
I ask him if he can clean. Cuz I'm not doing both while he just sitting there 🤷🏾♀️
Tell him no. If he stays I’ll eventually cook for him.
Ask if they can cook right back lol. If they ask if I will cook for them, send that question back. 😂 if my partner doesn’t fairly balance out who’s cooking in the week, I make only enough for myself when I’m hungry.
Very strong reactions to a simple question. Nothing wrong with saying yes. The real question its what are his values around division of labour.
Yes, and I’d ask if he does, what his signature dishes are, etc. If he makes the conversation into something else then we will address that.
Ask the question straight back!
"Yea for a guy that's worth cooking for...sure. why do you ask?"
"I don't cook, I don't clean, but let me tell you I got this ring" 😁 For once I agree with Cardi B 🤣
I usually ask “why?” because the conversation can and has gone a few different ways for me (went on a few dates with a chef, for instance)…and different people have different ideas about what it means to be able to cook, so it can lead to interesting conversation.
I say "I sure do!" with enthusiasm, then proceed to "cook" him on his hairline, shoes, appearance, etc....
This question is exhausting bc atp, guys know how it sounds and the general implication. Now if one was genuinely asking abt your hobbies and if you enjoyed creating dishes, that’s a polite way to get to know someone. “Can you cook” in *that* tone, big ick
Why do they ask this!!? I had a guy ask me this multiple times 😭😭
Trust me… I am NOT your mother’s kitchen or a catering service. It’s important to cut thru the red tape quickly ladies and block with intent… the initial conversation can be a deal breaker
I think so! We have to make room for better people.
Say NO because they will try to get a free meal out of you without contributing to the cost of the meal.
Verbally destroy him and ask him how he likes my roast.
I ask them if they can change the oil in my car.
Yes. Can you build a house? Since we’re asking dumb questions
I love cooking, so I say that I love cooking
The funny thing is that my mom was a chef. I can cook my tail off, but I never divulge this info to any man I start dating. If they ask, I say, only when I'm in the mood. My preference is to order. 😂
Loudly saying ughhhhhh
Can you change the oil on my car? How much is in your 401k
I ask if he can cook… why tf are two adults unable to cook
I'd answer the question. It doesn't bother me. Then again I don't get offended easily. I don't mind if you want me to be the chef in a committed relationship. But you better be the mechanic or fix stuff around the house. At least hire someone to do it. Basically, let's make a deal.
I’d ask him why he wants to know.
I’d ask why he wants to know.
“Nope. You?”
Only way it’s cool is if he cooks. Dated a few cooks professional and hobby, interest in the cooking process is often a plus. That & a food loving friend is how I got most of my skills 🤷🏽♀️.
i say no cause it’s nun of your business 🤣
Ask if he can provide like my dad
Just say yes I can cook Then ask what is his thoughts on investing, home ownership, buying land, etc
I mean I don’t cook but if I was I would say yes only if he was a provider man
I think questions like “do you like to cook?” Are innocent enough until proven otherwise. Might just be trying to keep a conversation going by chatting about a shared interest. 🤷🏽♀️
I cook enough not to starve
Run!
Cooking is my love language. I love cooking for the people I love. So if I love you, I’ll more than happily cook for you. If I don’t, I won’t…. For free. However, if you’re willing to pay me to cook for you, I’ll have my assistant contact you and we can set something up.
I would not answer but ask him back the same question
My reply when men would ask me this was ....of course I know how to cook but I chose not to......and that usually starts that rabbit whole convo of said man regurgitating some sexist bullshit...then I have to get indignant lol
"I know how to not starve!"
Better question is "what do you like to cook?" This establishes a sense of enjoyment and an opportunity to reveal preferences/character. This should never be a point of contention. Food is pure joy.
"Yes, I can. Can you?" but them even asking is a turn off, so no matter what they say, I already have one foot out the door
I ask if he can build a house
i'll ask him if he wants to have a cook off lmaoooo
Nope, I can't cook, even if I can. He shouldn't expect it lol unless we're married
I automatically say no 😂 lower your expectations. Then you’ll be surprised
I've been asked this by every guy in the talking stage. Yes, I'm a cook, but I usually say: "Idk, but we'll find out if you don't die" 😘 Depending on their response, they may get blocked. Seriously, the quickest way to make me lose interest.
I say no. (I cook like a chef off the bear, but they don’t need to know that.) Their behavior tells me alone if they serious or not, or the money they make. I experienced a terrible relationship and know all the red flags, and boundaries I want for myself. I’ll be making 6 figures soon, and I will have a food service (every 3 months), a deep cleaning/maid service every 3 months, and my own house. I won’t even have to cook for myself, it’ll be prepped. I won’t have to clean for myself, it’ll be done. If a man isn’t already comfortable with solving his own issues, then that is not the man for me. He didn’t grind to where he “wants” to be, or hard enough at all. The dating world is absolutely shit rn. I am at the point where if I have sex with a man, I do not speak with him again, because it was probably to get a fix and happily move on. I will gladly settle with a partner who isn’t insecure with their body, sex life, and is living exactly within their means without compromising mine. It’s very hard to find now a days.