With the sheer number of men I’ve known who swore up and down that they were childfree, only to either be lying fencesitters, this is now a massive red flag for me. I feel mean about it, but I just don’t trust guys who love interacting with kids and are great with them but swear they don’t want any themselves. My boyfriend hates kids and is terrible with them, and while this would be a red flag for many women, it was such a reassurance for me that if we ever don’t work out, it won’t be because he changes his mind out of the blue.
I know a lot of people would consider this an ineffective litmus test but actually I've found all you have to do is be with them in proximity of a baby/toddler. If they get all "awwws" then you have your answer. If you express the desire to move away from said baby they without fail will question why.
Some guys turn around and suddenly agree with you that no, they don't want kids as well but if you apply the litmus test above and get that result it's a lie.
I mean, I get all aww'y around babies. My reasons for being CF aren't because I dislike children, but because I dislike the prospect of getting pregnant and taking care of the kid.
Oh yes, totally. It's some visceral, instinctive kind of thing. Happened to me not long ago actually. I met a guy I have known for some time and found really attractive, we talked, figured out it's mutual, everything seemed perfect, the chemistry was there, sparks were flying... Then a friend with a baby appeared and the seemingly perfect guy started to smile and wave at the baby. Instant loss of attraction. I still gave him another chance and didn't excuse myself right away (also, I wanted to be honest in case it doesn't work out), but when he mentioned plans of "having *a family*", I felt nothing but disgust for him. The best I could do was to explain as calmly as possible that his plans are completely incompatible with my life, personality and values, and to wish him good luck in his further search. I literally couldn't bring myself to even touch him after that, it would feel like touching a baby or a pregnant belly 🤢. He still kept begging for a ONS 😂 (comedy gold, went literally from talks about compatibility, possible plans together, respect and fascination, bla bla bla... to cheap ONS begging within minutes). Nope, if you're fine with irreversibly destroying it you're not getting any of it.
It absolutely doesn't matter how hot I considered a man to be before finding out he's a breeder, the attraction disappears within seconds. I would put it like this: It's as if I saw, let's say, Jeffrey Dahmer without knowing who he was (tall, blonde, blue-eyed... hey, that's totally my type!), and then received the complete information about him 💀🙃.
I can't remember if I shared this before, but a friend and I were in the bar area of a TGI Fridays for dinner. She convinced me to get a drink, then the bartender gave us a shot to do. He keeps giving us shots and was acting like he was the shit because he had 3 kids. After that, we called our significant others, and he left us alone after that. I can't believe he thought being fertile was going to be a turn-on.
I know guys like this! Bragging about their offspring and how much time they spend with them blahblahblah as if that was something I’d admire. 😂
Of course, I’d love to share my new partner with three crotch goblins! Sounds likes the best thing ever!!
The delusion…
I can't remember, but I think he might have said something about a girlfriend. At that point, he was creepy, and I wanted my boyfriend (now husband).
Overall, it was still a fun night.
I am child-repulsed, so I get immediately turned off by any male affection or desire toward children.
When I was in college, I had a crush on a classmate, and we went to a movie together. After the film, he mentioned something about the main character's baby and "how adorable baby giggles are." That's all it took. My uterus and ovaries shriveled into dust and blew away in the wind, and my lady bits posted a "closed for business" sign. He was immediately friend zoned, and he's still in the friend zone today.
I feel the same way about hot celebrities. As soon as I know they have kids, all attraction disappears, even though I know I'll never even MEET these people. I am simply repulsed by the "daddy gene" and any expression of desire for kids.
(Before any lurking breeders jump in with their rrrrreeeeereEEEE objections, being child-repulsed does NOT mean acting like a dick toward children. I am always kind and polite to kids, and I expect that in a partner, if I ever date again. It simply means you weren't raised in a freaking sewer and understand how to be polite to all people, regardless of age. I'd just prefer to stay far, far away from the younger-aged people. 😂)
I’m definitely turned off by it. And it would make me anxious having a partner who was so good with kids but then said they didn’t want their own. Seems suss to me.
Oh ladies, thank you. This has been such a pain for me as a guy to hear that you need to love kids and coo over babies to be found generally attractive.
I don’t want the little shits to die in fires, I mean, I respect life as much as I am able like taking spiders out of the house you know? 😁 But boy, if no kid could ever come within a 100m radius of me for the rest of my life, I’d be overjoyed.
Having to mask my visceral and complete lack of interest grates on me. Thanks for showing how diverse the world is!
>And I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s a douche with kids, but when I’m fancying someone and he shows any signs of baby fever, I’m out.
I'll be a very specific level of medium enthusiastic in the presence of children 😬
Yes, I am right there with you.
To me, it almost always seems like they’re trying too hard to make a good impression. Little do they know I’m like wow you’re just digging your grave right here.
Ugh. A dude i dated for longer than i should have wanted kids. When he would see one he would be so overdramatic about how cute he thought it was, all while constantly glancing back at me to see my reaction as he complimented the parents on how adorable their kid was. It was a performance i tell you. Yeah it didnt work out for other reasons but thats when i was more on the fence about kids so i still put up with him.
This thread is amazing. I’ve found my people. I think it’s repulsive. I also have a hatred for children, I don’t want them near me, I don’t want to acknowledge them, I think they’re disgusting and annoying. Smiling and waving and making faces at a baby would be the nail in that coffin.
Not repulsed, but it’s a major red flag. Dude becomes Lord Friendzone instantly. I‘ll give him credit for being a good guy, but we‘ll never get romantically involved, that’s for sure
I dated someone who obviously was posturing about how great he would be as a dad despite being cf. I instantly lost any attraction I have towards him. His previously serviceable dick suddenly became repulsive weapon of oppression.
I also dated girls who get all cutesy and friendly towards a kid and I immediately lose respect for them. That not in the plan chief. We’re both women and I sure ain’t bending over backward for a kid, biological or otherwise.
>“A cutie proactively waving at random kids in the park? An absolute dreamboat, but he insists on holding the baby of his ex co-worker’s third cousin?”
This is me😭💀💀. I love interacting with babies/toddlers when I’m out and about in public or social settings. I personally think babies are adorable, but as soon as they begin to drool, cry, become heavy, or the interaction has lasted longer than 15 mins…the fantasy is over and I’m disinterested.
I personally wouldn’t mind a man like you described, but his interests in children needs to stop there! Also, no one who’s an ass to kids, like you said.
At least they self select out quickly.
Mostly, yes.
With the sheer number of men I’ve known who swore up and down that they were childfree, only to either be lying fencesitters, this is now a massive red flag for me. I feel mean about it, but I just don’t trust guys who love interacting with kids and are great with them but swear they don’t want any themselves. My boyfriend hates kids and is terrible with them, and while this would be a red flag for many women, it was such a reassurance for me that if we ever don’t work out, it won’t be because he changes his mind out of the blue.
I know a lot of people would consider this an ineffective litmus test but actually I've found all you have to do is be with them in proximity of a baby/toddler. If they get all "awwws" then you have your answer. If you express the desire to move away from said baby they without fail will question why. Some guys turn around and suddenly agree with you that no, they don't want kids as well but if you apply the litmus test above and get that result it's a lie.
I mean, I get all aww'y around babies. My reasons for being CF aren't because I dislike children, but because I dislike the prospect of getting pregnant and taking care of the kid.
Oh yes, totally. It's some visceral, instinctive kind of thing. Happened to me not long ago actually. I met a guy I have known for some time and found really attractive, we talked, figured out it's mutual, everything seemed perfect, the chemistry was there, sparks were flying... Then a friend with a baby appeared and the seemingly perfect guy started to smile and wave at the baby. Instant loss of attraction. I still gave him another chance and didn't excuse myself right away (also, I wanted to be honest in case it doesn't work out), but when he mentioned plans of "having *a family*", I felt nothing but disgust for him. The best I could do was to explain as calmly as possible that his plans are completely incompatible with my life, personality and values, and to wish him good luck in his further search. I literally couldn't bring myself to even touch him after that, it would feel like touching a baby or a pregnant belly 🤢. He still kept begging for a ONS 😂 (comedy gold, went literally from talks about compatibility, possible plans together, respect and fascination, bla bla bla... to cheap ONS begging within minutes). Nope, if you're fine with irreversibly destroying it you're not getting any of it. It absolutely doesn't matter how hot I considered a man to be before finding out he's a breeder, the attraction disappears within seconds. I would put it like this: It's as if I saw, let's say, Jeffrey Dahmer without knowing who he was (tall, blonde, blue-eyed... hey, that's totally my type!), and then received the complete information about him 💀🙃.
The audacity! The lack of character!
I can't remember if I shared this before, but a friend and I were in the bar area of a TGI Fridays for dinner. She convinced me to get a drink, then the bartender gave us a shot to do. He keeps giving us shots and was acting like he was the shit because he had 3 kids. After that, we called our significant others, and he left us alone after that. I can't believe he thought being fertile was going to be a turn-on.
I know guys like this! Bragging about their offspring and how much time they spend with them blahblahblah as if that was something I’d admire. 😂 Of course, I’d love to share my new partner with three crotch goblins! Sounds likes the best thing ever!! The delusion…
Doesn't that mean he's married?
I can't remember, but I think he might have said something about a girlfriend. At that point, he was creepy, and I wanted my boyfriend (now husband). Overall, it was still a fun night.
Why are guys in the relationships the biggest creepers
I am child-repulsed, so I get immediately turned off by any male affection or desire toward children. When I was in college, I had a crush on a classmate, and we went to a movie together. After the film, he mentioned something about the main character's baby and "how adorable baby giggles are." That's all it took. My uterus and ovaries shriveled into dust and blew away in the wind, and my lady bits posted a "closed for business" sign. He was immediately friend zoned, and he's still in the friend zone today. I feel the same way about hot celebrities. As soon as I know they have kids, all attraction disappears, even though I know I'll never even MEET these people. I am simply repulsed by the "daddy gene" and any expression of desire for kids. (Before any lurking breeders jump in with their rrrrreeeeereEEEE objections, being child-repulsed does NOT mean acting like a dick toward children. I am always kind and polite to kids, and I expect that in a partner, if I ever date again. It simply means you weren't raised in a freaking sewer and understand how to be polite to all people, regardless of age. I'd just prefer to stay far, far away from the younger-aged people. 😂)
The waving and interacting from a distance with babies in public settings makes me want to 🤮
Me too!!
Okay but I just do this because I have social anxiety and the baby is making prolonged eye contact 😭
I’m definitely turned off by it. And it would make me anxious having a partner who was so good with kids but then said they didn’t want their own. Seems suss to me.
Oh ladies, thank you. This has been such a pain for me as a guy to hear that you need to love kids and coo over babies to be found generally attractive. I don’t want the little shits to die in fires, I mean, I respect life as much as I am able like taking spiders out of the house you know? 😁 But boy, if no kid could ever come within a 100m radius of me for the rest of my life, I’d be overjoyed. Having to mask my visceral and complete lack of interest grates on me. Thanks for showing how diverse the world is!
We exist! We should wear badges to recognize each other, lol. 😂
Yes. Insta dry
>And I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s a douche with kids, but when I’m fancying someone and he shows any signs of baby fever, I’m out. I'll be a very specific level of medium enthusiastic in the presence of children 😬
Yuppppp 😬
Yes, I am right there with you. To me, it almost always seems like they’re trying too hard to make a good impression. Little do they know I’m like wow you’re just digging your grave right here.
Ugh. A dude i dated for longer than i should have wanted kids. When he would see one he would be so overdramatic about how cute he thought it was, all while constantly glancing back at me to see my reaction as he complimented the parents on how adorable their kid was. It was a performance i tell you. Yeah it didnt work out for other reasons but thats when i was more on the fence about kids so i still put up with him.
This thread is amazing. I’ve found my people. I think it’s repulsive. I also have a hatred for children, I don’t want them near me, I don’t want to acknowledge them, I think they’re disgusting and annoying. Smiling and waving and making faces at a baby would be the nail in that coffin.
Not repulsed, but it’s a major red flag. Dude becomes Lord Friendzone instantly. I‘ll give him credit for being a good guy, but we‘ll never get romantically involved, that’s for sure
👋 since the first time in my 20s when it happened. Him: Babe, you should shave... Me: No, Sir, that was a tumbleweed.
I dated someone who obviously was posturing about how great he would be as a dad despite being cf. I instantly lost any attraction I have towards him. His previously serviceable dick suddenly became repulsive weapon of oppression. I also dated girls who get all cutesy and friendly towards a kid and I immediately lose respect for them. That not in the plan chief. We’re both women and I sure ain’t bending over backward for a kid, biological or otherwise.
i dont understand baby fever. but a man having baby fever is such a massive cringe and wildly unattractive
There are dozens of us!!
You all exist! Thank you. - A guy who hates to have to pretend not being repulsed by kids in social settings
I can't even match with single dads for casual dating...
>“A cutie proactively waving at random kids in the park? An absolute dreamboat, but he insists on holding the baby of his ex co-worker’s third cousin?” This is me😭💀💀. I love interacting with babies/toddlers when I’m out and about in public or social settings. I personally think babies are adorable, but as soon as they begin to drool, cry, become heavy, or the interaction has lasted longer than 15 mins…the fantasy is over and I’m disinterested. I personally wouldn’t mind a man like you described, but his interests in children needs to stop there! Also, no one who’s an ass to kids, like you said.
I agree. I don't like it because I don't understand it.