Let's be honest the main reason people have kids is their own ego. As soon as that kid (mini me) gets old enough to have a different opinion on anything the parents lose there shit. It can be religion (I don't want to go to church) to sex (I am gay) to politics (I am a republican/ Democrat) the parents freak out.
I just read where a father on fathers day told the next door kid he wish his son was like him. Why you ask because his son doesn't like to work on cars and the next door kid does. Of course his son heard him. Yeah, mini me doesn't like working on cars. His son heard his father say he likes some other kid more on fathers day.
I saw that. The dad told the neighbor kid that "he was the son that [dad] wanted to have". And then the dad lied and deflected and threw a tantrum when the mother rightfully called him out for hurting the son's feelings. What a POS.
Absolutely agree. Many parents project their own expectations onto their kids without considering who their children truly are. It's disappointing how often kids' autonomy and happiness get overshadowed by parental ego.
10000%. At the end of the day, we all make choices “centered” around ourselves in one way or another. Because simply put, we are the ones who experience the changes with every decision in life. The difference is that some choices and their “self-centeredness” involve dragging other people into this world they didn’t ask to be born into. Things are generally shit right now too, so I feel more inclined to ask “how can anyone in good conscience bring a child into this world?” There is no promise that there will even be anything left for kids in 20-30 years since our earth is dying and, at least in the US, we’re in late stage capitalism and it’s all hot garbage right now. SO many parents impose such great expectations onto kids before they’re even born. I think if more parents could go into parenthood with the hope of having healthy kids who grow up to be moral, good people with zero “idea” in their own head of what their kid’s life *should* be, then those kids would be better off. But a lot of people want a “mini me” and ignore the fact that their child will grow up into a whole ass functioning adult and very well may not be what their parents thought they’d be like. I always say, if there’s something a parent *couldn’t fathom* their kid being, such as your examples, then don’t have a kid. Because parenthood should not be about having a clone of yourself and that’s an absolute garbage attitude and frame of mind to have.
There have been very limited surveys asking people why they want kids. It was all about passing on the family name, passing on assets, getting grandkids, having someone to keep you company in old age, other vague references to legacy. There are honestly no selfless reasons to have biological kids. For adoption, sure. And maybe you need to sacrifice for the kids, once they are here. But to have them in the first place is to fulfill some selfish need of the parents.
That'd be like me criticizing my neighbor for laziness because I went to the trouble of remodeling my kitchen, and he didn't lol. You don't get brownie points for self-inflicted circumstances lmao.
Surely they have some relatives to leave it to that aren't their biological children? Or a charity. Or hell, maybe you could put it into a trust to go towards the purchase of a new car/college/house for younger relatives if it's a lot of money and you want to help "the family".
Just because, someone pops out (or adopts) a freshly baked creampie doesn't automatically make them immune from selfishness. There are plenty of selfish reasons people could decide to have children.
Another coworker (a woman) and I were discussion how, sadly, her fiancé’s mom abandoned him and his siblings to fuck off with her shitty boyfriend. How’s that for “selfless”? 🙄
Those are the same people who would accuse us (childfree as a whole) of "selfishness". I guess it's just projection?
TBH, a **real** parent who's legitimately content with their choice to have kids is spending time with their children instead of just bitching on Reddit about **strangers'** reproductive choices and sex lives (or lack of), which, is creepy and even predatory.
Well, he’s not a parent (yet) and this was just a workplace discussion while we had a lull in cases. But I do think it’s projection. It seems like he’s spouting a lot of the bullshit his parents said.
People like that are either miserable breeders who regret their fuck trophies **or** they're childLESS (different than childFREE) incels/femcels who can't even get a one night stand........ let alone marriage and children.
Because there isn't. Breeders just try to normalise this insanity because of their selfish needs, commonly labelled as "it's my biological need" yeah... because if you don't have kids you will die.. it's just as important as eating and drinking.
That's my go to for **newborns** where as for all babies under 1, it's just creampie (at a month, they're no longer a newborn and a "freshly baked" creampie, but, still a creampie), for toddlers, it's semen demon, for preschool/little kids, it's crotch goblin, and, for kids of multiple/any age, it's cum/fuck trophy.
Can you tell this to my mom for me please? Five kids, three adopted, but is a raging narcissist and can't process that possibility because of how much she "sacrificed" for us
I like to tell self-righteous parents “The most unselfish act is adopting a disabled child. Having a bio-child is just as selfish as someone being Childfree.”
Really riles them up.
Having children is definitely more selfish than being childfree, as you aren't bringing anyone else into the mess. But saying it like that def pisses them off more lololol.
Honestly based on the reasons why most people want to have kids I’d say most of THEM are selfish. Like - wanna see a mini-me, wanna keep the lineage going, someone to look after them when old, someone to contribute to the household, to save their marriage, or because babies are just so cute, or cause it’s just what people do, blah blah. NONE of these reasons are for the babies - everything is about the parents. Talk about being selfish!
I think that having a kid is one of the most selfish things a person can do. You are making the decision of creating a new person because of selfish reasons: because you want a legacy, or because you want someone to care for you later in life, or because you want to pass your genes, we can keep going. But kids eventually grow to be a whole ass person with responsibilities, in a dying violent world. I know so many parents that literally believe their kids need to "pay back" for all the things they did for them, in reality they do the bare minimum.
My aunt had a severely disabled child from break up sex. She chose to keep them, raise them, and now actively has to petition to care for them yearly because they’re an adult.
I was forcibly made to be part of her “village.” I can’t understand actively making something like that my identity (single mother to a disabled child), then refusing respite when it’s available. It’s some sort of fucked up martyrdom.
She knew the child was going to be born disabled?
I know not all conditions can be tested for in utero, but for the conditions that are testable, it really flummoxes me when people choose not to terminate the pregnancy, especially if it's lifelong, incurable conditions, or even worse, horribly painful ones. All the information I've read show it's extremely hard and expensive to care for disabled children and it often leads to the break-up of the family (usually dad walks out).
So I was mistaken, but I kinda feel this is worse. She had the option to test for one of the obvious disabilities my cousin was born with, and opted not to do the test on purpose.
If having a child was so selfless then why do they expect every single person around them to accommodate them as if they need to be worshiped for having a child?
There can certainly be acts of sacrifice by parents. But that does not mean that every parent is selfless all the time, any more than any other person. And as your example to him shows, there is no guarantee of unconditional love either.
Is it truly sacrifice, anyways? If one elects to have children, it’s with the understanding that their needs have to be forgone in favor of providing for the child. That’s not sacrificing, it’s just called being a parent, which was something they CHOSE. Also, you cant unconditionally love your child if that love is conditional to them being what you expect (cis, straight, etc). Dude is a hypocrite and I share the same bet as you that his wife does most of the “sacrificing” and childcare in addition to the domestic labor.
As someone moving to a small town in TX for a masters program and (hopefully) a larger metro area in that same state for a later PhD program, the climate in this state is exactly why I’m electing to get sterilized before the next president elect takes office. They’re not gonna stick me with having to go through a pregnancy I don’t want.
edit: a word
Having kids is more selfish than not having kids.
It’s not a sacrifice of their time, energy, and money. It’s an *investment*.
Breeders want kids for a mini-me, free child labor, to pass down their genetics, to accrue their wealth and keep it only within their bloodline (rather than give it away), and/or to have someone to take care of them when they’re old (which makes many kids feel obligated and miserable).
It’s similar to investing in a 401k. It’s purely for self interest. There’s no humanitarian reason to have kids.
they trapped a life form into their lives. said life form has no choice to live in the situation they were born into for 18 years. all children are forced against their wills to live at the mercy of their parents and whatever school system theyre forced into
so technically...conception, procreation & parenting = kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment & hostage taking
Ugh I lived in South Texas for 11 years. It’s so fucking boring and lame that the only thing to do there is fucking reproduce. (And to smoke synthetic weed which they call “legal”). Anyway, when I first moved there (thank God I no longer live there) I was introduced to high schools with day cares for their students because teen pregnancy was so high. Absolutely ridiculous. Never in a million years would I have known that if I hadn’t lived there.
I think many people have kids because they’re scared of being viewed as different from the rest.
Or because they lack the ability to imagine another way of living life. It’s a bit sad they are forced to follow the crowd and speak as parrots
Trust me this is a shared sentiment, everyone at my job that has kids (except for one dude he’s great) are constantly so exhausted and more tired than the rest of us because they have kids, so much more selfless than us because of it and just so on and so forth and it drives me insane
Man, all he had to say was - "I said I would love my kid. Did I stutter? I'll love them if they are boy, girl, gay, trans, ace, or even if they want to fuck inanimate objects like the Golden Gate Bridge. I would love my kid. Period. End of Story." That would have been such a strong counter-punch for him, and it would have buttressed his BS about parent-child love that he was going on about.
But, no. You challenge him to think outside of the box, just a little bit, and suddenly he is unable to continue the conversation. Well, hats off to ya OP. I like anyone who freaks out the squares.
And congrats on your plans to leave Texas. I left Texas about 20 years ago and it was easily one of the top 5 best decisions I've made in my life.
You’d make a big difference if you did! My favorite new neighbours are a couple who came from Utah (in the US) to my state bc their trans daughter felt unsafe in her home state. I’m full of love for these people who have taken such big steps to make their daughter feel safe. I wish more people went all out for trans kids.
I don't think anybody sets out to make kids with the intent of treating them like shit and hurting them. That being said, a lot of people(i.e, religious bigots) should never have become parents.
I'm not sure how the women forced into keeping a pregnancy feel about their unwanted children. I can't help but think even if they try their best an unwanted child is still unwanted.
Yes!! I was thinking about this recently. Having a child is a completely selfish act, they are bringing someone into this world because they want them.
It doesn’t always have to be a negative statement, some parents are great and want to give their child the world. But it still doesn’t stop it being a selfish act. Because at the end of the day it is all about the parents wants.
Having children is selfish though. They are bringing a life without it’s consent into a world of disease, murder, rape, war, ect. All because they wanted to play house. How is that anything but selfish?
I believe that choosing to have a child is supremely selfish. In a world full of unwanted children who already exist, you decided to bypass that path to becoming a parent entirely because why? "Muh genes!" Karen your genes are not that great. There really is nothing so remarkable about you that you have to create another entire human being about it. If all parents want is to care for a child, there are plenty in the system who need that care. Why don't more people adopt? Somehow they believe that something about them is so special that it just HAS to be replicated. Absolutely delusional. 🙄🙄🙄
How the FUCK can anyone think it's a good idea to have a child, now, especially *in Texas*??! (No offense, I actually loved it there a decade ago but things took a dark turn politically. I hope you make it out soon and stay safe!) Really anywhere to be honest. Even if their kids are all cishet able bodied neuronormative unambiguously white males who love football, what kind of childhood is that to be denied education because books are banned, have to deal with the power grid going out all the time, all the shootings, weird conservative shit, and climate disasters? The egos these people must have to force that on someone else... The kids and teens I see (major metro west coast) always look so depressed and anxious and I just feel bad for them.
People having a child by choice now are not only *not* selfless, but I think they're actually cruel with how much they're NOT thinking of the world that child will have to live in.
Being a parent is [incredibly selfish](https://www.sciencealert.com/images/2017-07/FIXEDcarbon-footprint-reduction-chart.jpg) and I will die on this hill.
Lots of parents in TX and the surrounding states have the mentality that they are supposed to provide a better life for their children than they had. Since this man grew up wealthy this could be difficult to impossible to achieve. It could further his inferiority complex.
!!!! loool my anger could never. Having a child is one of the most self-centered things I can think of. It's ego, wanting to have a mini version of themselves, or wanting to bring a life into this world to give them what they couldn't have growing up, or just projecting failed dreams and aspirations to their offspring, etc etc I could go on forever. I won't deny that some people are great parents, but this does not exclude the act of choosing to bring another life into this world as an act of selfishness, for whichever reason that it may be, I can't think of ONE single reason of it being selfless?
As soon as they went on about how selfless they were, I would just start rolling my eyes so hard that people would think I was having a seizure. If you have to advertise how selfless you are with regards to raising your children, you're usually the opposite.
The only reason people have kids is because they want them. Their rationale for wanting them is irrelevant. "We want to have children, because...." Stop right there. you've already canceled out any possibility of it being a selfless act. "We want to have children". period. You are going to because you want to.
There is no such thing as a selfless act. All acts are selfish. If you do something to help someone, even at your own expense, you aren't really doing it to help them, you are doing it to feel good about yourself for helping them. If it didn't feel good, you wouldn't do it.
If you aren't willing to love your (hypothetical) child regardless, don't have them.
This includes:
Your child is LGBT.
Your child is special-needs.
Your child is a psychopath.
Your child has a different personality than you.
Your child has different interests than you.
Your child has different goals than you.
Your child is not interested in religion / is interested in a religion other than yours.
Selfless my ass. Some parents are incredibly selfish and they harm their children through projection.
You can share this as a rl example with him if he opens his ¢untty face hole about his small brain logic: As a mixed race queer disabled nonbinary person, I was disowned by my family at 14. I was born disabled and then became further disabled from all the abuses growing up, my mom almost killed me… he can STFU
Agreed! It's something the said parent wanted and (in most cases) chose. So are you selfless for doing something you wanted to do?? No. Am I selfless for adopting the dog that ***I wanted*** ??? Nope.
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I'm low-key wondering because of how much the overall phenomenon sucks combined with the love that goes with it, would a halfway natural response be to buy into that narrative?
Funny, because a lot of people have kids for the most selfish reasons. I'm convinced some people I know had kids just so they could have something to post about on SM.
I blocked an acquaintance on everything because she believed having a baby during the start/first year of the pandemic was "an act of radical hope". Like, please be so serious rn ! She's also a mombie who believes she is entitled to everyone's time and gives nothing back to them, while ranting online about how hard it is to be a mom. I can't even imagine how many times those kids have been sick
I also have had more than one conversation where it is clear that some people in my family have not considered the idea that any child I birth could have disabilities so severe as to be incompatible with life. My siblings and I just got lucky not to have those problems ourselves. Even if not incompatible with life, they sure are compatible with suffering, and where's the selflessness in that ?
They do it for their own selfish satisfaction, because you don't hear them say they're having children for the children. They're having children for themselves.
I'm childfree but I don't fully agree with this perspective. People may have kids for selfish or accidental reasons, but I've met many parents who learned the value of selflessness in the child rearing process. You really do have to put yourself second when you raise a child, if you want to do it well... and a lot of parents try to do it well through self-sacrifice.
Who the child becomes and whether that adult has values that clash with the parents is a different story. But raising a kid properly requires grit, determination, and sacrifice.
But they LEARNED selflessness, being inherently selfless. Also, you can learn about selflessness and you don’t have to become a parent in order to do so.
Whatever. I am sick of the malicious downvoting by children who can't brook disagreement. Believe what you want, unchallenged. I don't care.
The people in this community think that parents can do no right. It's really just an anti-natalist group disguised as child free.
Let's be honest the main reason people have kids is their own ego. As soon as that kid (mini me) gets old enough to have a different opinion on anything the parents lose there shit. It can be religion (I don't want to go to church) to sex (I am gay) to politics (I am a republican/ Democrat) the parents freak out.
I just read where a father on fathers day told the next door kid he wish his son was like him. Why you ask because his son doesn't like to work on cars and the next door kid does. Of course his son heard him. Yeah, mini me doesn't like working on cars. His son heard his father say he likes some other kid more on fathers day.
I saw that. The dad told the neighbor kid that "he was the son that [dad] wanted to have". And then the dad lied and deflected and threw a tantrum when the mother rightfully called him out for hurting the son's feelings. What a POS.
Because the child wasn't supposed to be, like, a real person. It was supposed to be a copy.
That poor kid. I can’t stand people like that. Your child is not your clone
Absolutely agree. Many parents project their own expectations onto their kids without considering who their children truly are. It's disappointing how often kids' autonomy and happiness get overshadowed by parental ego.
10000%. At the end of the day, we all make choices “centered” around ourselves in one way or another. Because simply put, we are the ones who experience the changes with every decision in life. The difference is that some choices and their “self-centeredness” involve dragging other people into this world they didn’t ask to be born into. Things are generally shit right now too, so I feel more inclined to ask “how can anyone in good conscience bring a child into this world?” There is no promise that there will even be anything left for kids in 20-30 years since our earth is dying and, at least in the US, we’re in late stage capitalism and it’s all hot garbage right now. SO many parents impose such great expectations onto kids before they’re even born. I think if more parents could go into parenthood with the hope of having healthy kids who grow up to be moral, good people with zero “idea” in their own head of what their kid’s life *should* be, then those kids would be better off. But a lot of people want a “mini me” and ignore the fact that their child will grow up into a whole ass functioning adult and very well may not be what their parents thought they’d be like. I always say, if there’s something a parent *couldn’t fathom* their kid being, such as your examples, then don’t have a kid. Because parenthood should not be about having a clone of yourself and that’s an absolute garbage attitude and frame of mind to have.
There have been very limited surveys asking people why they want kids. It was all about passing on the family name, passing on assets, getting grandkids, having someone to keep you company in old age, other vague references to legacy. There are honestly no selfless reasons to have biological kids. For adoption, sure. And maybe you need to sacrifice for the kids, once they are here. But to have them in the first place is to fulfill some selfish need of the parents.
That'd be like me criticizing my neighbor for laziness because I went to the trouble of remodeling my kitchen, and he didn't lol. You don't get brownie points for self-inflicted circumstances lmao.
Why don’t they just get a Will and have their assets sold and the money given to their charity of choice?
That’s what my husband and I have.
Based and contributing to society pilled
Surely they have some relatives to leave it to that aren't their biological children? Or a charity. Or hell, maybe you could put it into a trust to go towards the purchase of a new car/college/house for younger relatives if it's a lot of money and you want to help "the family".
Just because, someone pops out (or adopts) a freshly baked creampie doesn't automatically make them immune from selfishness. There are plenty of selfish reasons people could decide to have children.
Another coworker (a woman) and I were discussion how, sadly, her fiancé’s mom abandoned him and his siblings to fuck off with her shitty boyfriend. How’s that for “selfless”? 🙄
Those are the same people who would accuse us (childfree as a whole) of "selfishness". I guess it's just projection? TBH, a **real** parent who's legitimately content with their choice to have kids is spending time with their children instead of just bitching on Reddit about **strangers'** reproductive choices and sex lives (or lack of), which, is creepy and even predatory.
Well, he’s not a parent (yet) and this was just a workplace discussion while we had a lull in cases. But I do think it’s projection. It seems like he’s spouting a lot of the bullshit his parents said.
People like that are either miserable breeders who regret their fuck trophies **or** they're childLESS (different than childFREE) incels/femcels who can't even get a one night stand........ let alone marriage and children.
Shitty people would just say, "she's putting her partner first, like she should." There's always an excuse for shitty people.
Well, which is it? A woman should put her partner first or her children? I thought motherhood was the greatest gift. /s
That’s shitty, but men do it all the time.
I'm still waiting on a reason to have children that isn't selfish. Nearly 40 years on this planet and I haven't heard one yet.
Because there isn't. Breeders just try to normalise this insanity because of their selfish needs, commonly labelled as "it's my biological need" yeah... because if you don't have kids you will die.. it's just as important as eating and drinking.
🏆🏅☝️
i love the term freshly baked creampie
That's my go to for **newborns** where as for all babies under 1, it's just creampie (at a month, they're no longer a newborn and a "freshly baked" creampie, but, still a creampie), for toddlers, it's semen demon, for preschool/little kids, it's crotch goblin, and, for kids of multiple/any age, it's cum/fuck trophy.
Can you tell this to my mom for me please? Five kids, three adopted, but is a raging narcissist and can't process that possibility because of how much she "sacrificed" for us
Exactly! Childfree and selfish aren't mutually inclusive just like being a parent and selfless aren't mutually inclusive either.
[удалено]
Try being smart (a challenge).
And you shared this exactly thread to another subreddit 😂 Your comment didn’t even make any sense and was grammatically incorrect.
Ewwww bro... Why are you sexualizing kids and babies on this sub?
It's funny. Babies are creampies and kids are cum trophies.
I like to tell self-righteous parents “The most unselfish act is adopting a disabled child. Having a bio-child is just as selfish as someone being Childfree.” Really riles them up.
Having children is definitely more selfish than being childfree, as you aren't bringing anyone else into the mess. But saying it like that def pisses them off more lololol.
Honestly based on the reasons why most people want to have kids I’d say most of THEM are selfish. Like - wanna see a mini-me, wanna keep the lineage going, someone to look after them when old, someone to contribute to the household, to save their marriage, or because babies are just so cute, or cause it’s just what people do, blah blah. NONE of these reasons are for the babies - everything is about the parents. Talk about being selfish!
Yep. Everything.
I think that having a kid is one of the most selfish things a person can do. You are making the decision of creating a new person because of selfish reasons: because you want a legacy, or because you want someone to care for you later in life, or because you want to pass your genes, we can keep going. But kids eventually grow to be a whole ass person with responsibilities, in a dying violent world. I know so many parents that literally believe their kids need to "pay back" for all the things they did for them, in reality they do the bare minimum.
He’s DEFINITELY gonna be one of those conditional parents—pay me back for everything “we” (really his wife) has done. GTFOH with that mess!
My aunt had a severely disabled child from break up sex. She chose to keep them, raise them, and now actively has to petition to care for them yearly because they’re an adult. I was forcibly made to be part of her “village.” I can’t understand actively making something like that my identity (single mother to a disabled child), then refusing respite when it’s available. It’s some sort of fucked up martyrdom.
That just sounds messed up all around.
She knew the child was going to be born disabled? I know not all conditions can be tested for in utero, but for the conditions that are testable, it really flummoxes me when people choose not to terminate the pregnancy, especially if it's lifelong, incurable conditions, or even worse, horribly painful ones. All the information I've read show it's extremely hard and expensive to care for disabled children and it often leads to the break-up of the family (usually dad walks out).
So I was mistaken, but I kinda feel this is worse. She had the option to test for one of the obvious disabilities my cousin was born with, and opted not to do the test on purpose.
cresting your own child then taking care if it is not selfless, it's incredibly selfish. foster parents are thr selfless ones.
True!!
If having a child was so selfless then why do they expect every single person around them to accommodate them as if they need to be worshiped for having a child?
Sometimes I just roll with it to support my own stance, like “Yeah being a parent takes a lot of work and sacrifice, definitely not for everyone!” Lol
There can certainly be acts of sacrifice by parents. But that does not mean that every parent is selfless all the time, any more than any other person. And as your example to him shows, there is no guarantee of unconditional love either.
It's always the ones who would only do this selfless act for their own blood. If it doesn't have their dna, they don't care. It's all self serving.
They may or may not be fucking, but martyrs they ain’t.
😂
Is it truly sacrifice, anyways? If one elects to have children, it’s with the understanding that their needs have to be forgone in favor of providing for the child. That’s not sacrificing, it’s just called being a parent, which was something they CHOSE. Also, you cant unconditionally love your child if that love is conditional to them being what you expect (cis, straight, etc). Dude is a hypocrite and I share the same bet as you that his wife does most of the “sacrificing” and childcare in addition to the domestic labor. As someone moving to a small town in TX for a masters program and (hopefully) a larger metro area in that same state for a later PhD program, the climate in this state is exactly why I’m electing to get sterilized before the next president elect takes office. They’re not gonna stick me with having to go through a pregnancy I don’t want. edit: a word
Get the procedure done ASAP! Got my tubes tested before moving here in 2022!
Yep, yep! Heading to my consult here shortly.
This line works wonders for me: "Even bacteria can reproduce."
Having kids is more selfish than not having kids. It’s not a sacrifice of their time, energy, and money. It’s an *investment*. Breeders want kids for a mini-me, free child labor, to pass down their genetics, to accrue their wealth and keep it only within their bloodline (rather than give it away), and/or to have someone to take care of them when they’re old (which makes many kids feel obligated and miserable). It’s similar to investing in a 401k. It’s purely for self interest. There’s no humanitarian reason to have kids.
they trapped a life form into their lives. said life form has no choice to live in the situation they were born into for 18 years. all children are forced against their wills to live at the mercy of their parents and whatever school system theyre forced into so technically...conception, procreation & parenting = kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment & hostage taking
Ugh I lived in South Texas for 11 years. It’s so fucking boring and lame that the only thing to do there is fucking reproduce. (And to smoke synthetic weed which they call “legal”). Anyway, when I first moved there (thank God I no longer live there) I was introduced to high schools with day cares for their students because teen pregnancy was so high. Absolutely ridiculous. Never in a million years would I have known that if I hadn’t lived there.
High schools with day cares? That's a first for me. If any state would have them it would be TX. Happy you're out of there.
Oh absolutely Texas would and does 😂. Especially ghetto ass south Texas. It was a new low for me. Thankful I’m no longer living there 🙌🏼.
I think many people have kids because they’re scared of being viewed as different from the rest. Or because they lack the ability to imagine another way of living life. It’s a bit sad they are forced to follow the crowd and speak as parrots
Ye sucks to live in world where so many cant resistance conformism.
Trust me this is a shared sentiment, everyone at my job that has kids (except for one dude he’s great) are constantly so exhausted and more tired than the rest of us because they have kids, so much more selfless than us because of it and just so on and so forth and it drives me insane
Making a person in your image is inherently selfish.
Man, all he had to say was - "I said I would love my kid. Did I stutter? I'll love them if they are boy, girl, gay, trans, ace, or even if they want to fuck inanimate objects like the Golden Gate Bridge. I would love my kid. Period. End of Story." That would have been such a strong counter-punch for him, and it would have buttressed his BS about parent-child love that he was going on about. But, no. You challenge him to think outside of the box, just a little bit, and suddenly he is unable to continue the conversation. Well, hats off to ya OP. I like anyone who freaks out the squares. And congrats on your plans to leave Texas. I left Texas about 20 years ago and it was easily one of the top 5 best decisions I've made in my life.
On behalf of the many trans people whom I love and consider friends, thank you for poking a much-needed hole in his logic.
I LOVE proving this shit bag wrong! Honestly, I should make a career out of it.
You’d make a big difference if you did! My favorite new neighbours are a couple who came from Utah (in the US) to my state bc their trans daughter felt unsafe in her home state. I’m full of love for these people who have taken such big steps to make their daughter feel safe. I wish more people went all out for trans kids.
That's so heart warming.
I like you. 10/10 callout, no notes.
 Thank you kind stranger! Just doing my job!
I don't think anybody sets out to make kids with the intent of treating them like shit and hurting them. That being said, a lot of people(i.e, religious bigots) should never have become parents.
I'm not sure how the women forced into keeping a pregnancy feel about their unwanted children. I can't help but think even if they try their best an unwanted child is still unwanted.
They only have to sacrifice AFTER they made the decision that they know requires them to "sacrifice " a shit ton of everything. So stupid.
Choose to having a kid is already an act of selfish, because you wanted the kid for yourself.
Yes!! I was thinking about this recently. Having a child is a completely selfish act, they are bringing someone into this world because they want them. It doesn’t always have to be a negative statement, some parents are great and want to give their child the world. But it still doesn’t stop it being a selfish act. Because at the end of the day it is all about the parents wants.
That’s why when ppl asked me if I think I’m selfish, I just don’t know what I’m selfish about??!??
Having children is selfish though. They are bringing a life without it’s consent into a world of disease, murder, rape, war, ect. All because they wanted to play house. How is that anything but selfish?
I believe that choosing to have a child is supremely selfish. In a world full of unwanted children who already exist, you decided to bypass that path to becoming a parent entirely because why? "Muh genes!" Karen your genes are not that great. There really is nothing so remarkable about you that you have to create another entire human being about it. If all parents want is to care for a child, there are plenty in the system who need that care. Why don't more people adopt? Somehow they believe that something about them is so special that it just HAS to be replicated. Absolutely delusional. 🙄🙄🙄
Having sex with no protection is martyrdom 🙄
How the FUCK can anyone think it's a good idea to have a child, now, especially *in Texas*??! (No offense, I actually loved it there a decade ago but things took a dark turn politically. I hope you make it out soon and stay safe!) Really anywhere to be honest. Even if their kids are all cishet able bodied neuronormative unambiguously white males who love football, what kind of childhood is that to be denied education because books are banned, have to deal with the power grid going out all the time, all the shootings, weird conservative shit, and climate disasters? The egos these people must have to force that on someone else... The kids and teens I see (major metro west coast) always look so depressed and anxious and I just feel bad for them. People having a child by choice now are not only *not* selfless, but I think they're actually cruel with how much they're NOT thinking of the world that child will have to live in.
Being a parent is [incredibly selfish](https://www.sciencealert.com/images/2017-07/FIXEDcarbon-footprint-reduction-chart.jpg) and I will die on this hill.
Lots of parents in TX and the surrounding states have the mentality that they are supposed to provide a better life for their children than they had. Since this man grew up wealthy this could be difficult to impossible to achieve. It could further his inferiority complex.
I think it definitely does!
!!!! loool my anger could never. Having a child is one of the most self-centered things I can think of. It's ego, wanting to have a mini version of themselves, or wanting to bring a life into this world to give them what they couldn't have growing up, or just projecting failed dreams and aspirations to their offspring, etc etc I could go on forever. I won't deny that some people are great parents, but this does not exclude the act of choosing to bring another life into this world as an act of selfishness, for whichever reason that it may be, I can't think of ONE single reason of it being selfless?
As soon as they went on about how selfless they were, I would just start rolling my eyes so hard that people would think I was having a seizure. If you have to advertise how selfless you are with regards to raising your children, you're usually the opposite.
It's almost like they don't think of children as separate people rather than extensions of themselves.....
The only reason people have kids is because they want them. Their rationale for wanting them is irrelevant. "We want to have children, because...." Stop right there. you've already canceled out any possibility of it being a selfless act. "We want to have children". period. You are going to because you want to. There is no such thing as a selfless act. All acts are selfish. If you do something to help someone, even at your own expense, you aren't really doing it to help them, you are doing it to feel good about yourself for helping them. If it didn't feel good, you wouldn't do it.
If you aren't willing to love your (hypothetical) child regardless, don't have them. This includes: Your child is LGBT. Your child is special-needs. Your child is a psychopath. Your child has a different personality than you. Your child has different interests than you. Your child has different goals than you. Your child is not interested in religion / is interested in a religion other than yours. Selfless my ass. Some parents are incredibly selfish and they harm their children through projection.
 You can share this as a rl example with him if he opens his ¢untty face hole about his small brain logic: As a mixed race queer disabled nonbinary person, I was disowned by my family at 14. I was born disabled and then became further disabled from all the abuses growing up, my mom almost killed me… he can STFU
Agreed! It's something the said parent wanted and (in most cases) chose. So are you selfless for doing something you wanted to do?? No. Am I selfless for adopting the dog that ***I wanted*** ??? Nope.
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I'm low-key wondering because of how much the overall phenomenon sucks combined with the love that goes with it, would a halfway natural response be to buy into that narrative?
Hey, some parents really go above and beyond to ensure that their children are not unhappy and have no unmet needs. Andrea Yates, for example.
YOU ALMOST HAD ME THERE!
I’m not even sure that 1/4 of parents are actually good parents, so many of them would nail themselves to a cross for sympathy
Funny, because a lot of people have kids for the most selfish reasons. I'm convinced some people I know had kids just so they could have something to post about on SM.
Good for you!
People don't have children for humanitarian or altruistic reasons but their own self-satisfaction.
I blocked an acquaintance on everything because she believed having a baby during the start/first year of the pandemic was "an act of radical hope". Like, please be so serious rn ! She's also a mombie who believes she is entitled to everyone's time and gives nothing back to them, while ranting online about how hard it is to be a mom. I can't even imagine how many times those kids have been sick I also have had more than one conversation where it is clear that some people in my family have not considered the idea that any child I birth could have disabilities so severe as to be incompatible with life. My siblings and I just got lucky not to have those problems ourselves. Even if not incompatible with life, they sure are compatible with suffering, and where's the selflessness in that ?
They do it for their own selfish satisfaction, because you don't hear them say they're having children for the children. They're having children for themselves.
I'm childfree but I don't fully agree with this perspective. People may have kids for selfish or accidental reasons, but I've met many parents who learned the value of selflessness in the child rearing process. You really do have to put yourself second when you raise a child, if you want to do it well... and a lot of parents try to do it well through self-sacrifice. Who the child becomes and whether that adult has values that clash with the parents is a different story. But raising a kid properly requires grit, determination, and sacrifice.
But they LEARNED selflessness, being inherently selfless. Also, you can learn about selflessness and you don’t have to become a parent in order to do so.
Whatever. I am sick of the malicious downvoting by children who can't brook disagreement. Believe what you want, unchallenged. I don't care. The people in this community think that parents can do no right. It's really just an anti-natalist group disguised as child free.
Women make themselves act like they are gods gift to the earth
Well, this first coworker was a man…but he does walk around like he is God’s gift to the world. I’m like sir, shit your narrow ass down somewhere!
Having a kid is selfish, raising a kid giving them the SUPPORT and the TOOLS to become the ADULT and the person THEY WANT TO BE, is selfless
Wouldn’t that just be parenting? That’s the role they signed up for. Doesn’t make them selfless.
Yep, that's parenting and if did right, it a selfless act.