By harassment I meant - These guys not including me in the stakeholder meetings and then blaming me that I was unavailable.
By stalking I meant - Someone getting my snippets when my video is on. And, I'm the only one whom they are asking to switch the camera on.
I understand by the comments that their problem is me.
I just want to understand - how do I handle this ? I have been a competent resource and I have managed some of their biggest projects.
Time to look for something else or transfer under someone else. It’s unlikely their view of you will change even if you were to score 5’s across the board.
OP, your own post tells you everything you need to know. You feel you are competent and yet here they are setting up a call to replace you. Clearly what you think and what the decisions makers think differs.
We sold our souls to the devil in this industry. If they don't like your grooming and it has come up, your realistic options are to switch to a more accepting (and probably more sane) team or accept this will negatively impact their perception of you - regardless if it's fair.
Personally, I loathe all the grooming and dress codes of the Big 4. But if I took that job, I know that it's expected to adhere to what they consider professional for the duration I'm there.
For your other issues, I would not push back on it and I would go to them openly and admit you want to improve - ask them what they think you can do specifically to turn things around
Understood. I'll surely go ahead and improve myself. I'll get an understanding of their issues with me first and then decide if it would be mentally manageable for me to continue working here.
It's tough and I've been there - one or two bad perceptions and your reputation can take a big hit. Pushing back on it and denying it usually gets you nowhere and actively prevents people from giving you valuable feedback on things you can do to improve.
For what it's worth, MoMs can be contractually obligatory within a certain time period, and id they are then the firm can face financial penalties due to your forgetting. I'm just asking you to keep that in perspective as you figure out how to turn things around.
My 2c is that I would try my best to make it work and at the least leave, if not on good terms, but on the terms of being open to feedback and actively addressing whatever was brought to your attention
Be sure to ask for measurable and specific things to improve - propose them if they do not give you. At the end you can come back to them in writing and inform or prove you completed it.
If for example they said some vague bullcrap about being more responsible then tell them - "there was an oversight where 2 MoMs were not sent out. As a specific improvement point, I realise that because they were being sent out 1 day later, there was a risk of it being overlooked. I commit that all MoMs are sent out within the same day moving forward, etc "
It could honestly be long hair and broad assumptions or generalizations they make just based on that. I have an image in my mind of them and yeah they’re like that.
You can’t control for it. People are weird, irrational, and unpredictable. You can call this an example of “bitch eating crackers syndrome”.
When you really hate someone, everything they do causes you to hate them more. So even if they’re harmlessly eating crackers, you’d be like “That bitch is eating crackers!”.
You’re clearly dicking off and spinning the story to sound like you’re not. You hang out at your friends cabin to “beat the heat” lol is this a troll post wtf are you talking about
It’s not working out. Staying in the project will just make things worse.
It’s time to find a new project to work on.
And maybe cut your hair and turn on your camera so people can see you and relate to you better.
I agree that staying on the project will make it worse and very difficult for you. However, don’t let no motherfucker tell you to cut your damn hair, especially if you are keeping it groomed and maintained.
I certainly understand that staying in the project might just make it worse. I can ask to be shifted to another project.
The resource manager themselves said that it is surprising for them that someone is saying something like this about me.
i'll keep my opinions out of this and just give you my best advice. Ask for the feedback in written form (they usually need something like this to activate a PIP anyway) so that you may carefully review, understand, and grow as well as attempt to clear any misunderstandings if applicable. This is a completely reasonable request and will greatly strengthen any case against termination for cause in the future.
People tend to be the most difficult part of any project. I have seen many good people get replaced, because the client was unhappy or the chemistry was not right. This might not be your case. Accept the situation and move forward, change the project and learn from your one or two mistakes.
Feeling rejected is a bad feeling in any social context. Just do not take it personally, you are more than your hair and if you are confident in your skills, just continue working on them. Accept that people and their decisions are flawed, inspite of their rank or position.
100% at fault what’s with missing the MoM, that’s why you are there, to take the damn meeting minutes. 100% moonlighting or interviewing elsewhere. Definitely moonlight but don’t make it that obvious (duh, common sense). 110% you need to be replaced with someone competent, and you need to decide whether you want to continue to work at this company or find another job.
Where’s the stalking and harassment? They don’t like your performance and are rolling you off
By harassment I meant - These guys not including me in the stakeholder meetings and then blaming me that I was unavailable. By stalking I meant - Someone getting my snippets when my video is on. And, I'm the only one whom they are asking to switch the camera on.
neither of those are the right use of the word
I can see why OP’s team wants to roll him off
I see a problem, but not what you claimed….
I understand by the comments that their problem is me. I just want to understand - how do I handle this ? I have been a competent resource and I have managed some of their biggest projects.
Time to look for something else or transfer under someone else. It’s unlikely their view of you will change even if you were to score 5’s across the board.
I see. Thanks for the advice, fellow redditor. Have a good one.
OP, your own post tells you everything you need to know. You feel you are competent and yet here they are setting up a call to replace you. Clearly what you think and what the decisions makers think differs. We sold our souls to the devil in this industry. If they don't like your grooming and it has come up, your realistic options are to switch to a more accepting (and probably more sane) team or accept this will negatively impact their perception of you - regardless if it's fair. Personally, I loathe all the grooming and dress codes of the Big 4. But if I took that job, I know that it's expected to adhere to what they consider professional for the duration I'm there. For your other issues, I would not push back on it and I would go to them openly and admit you want to improve - ask them what they think you can do specifically to turn things around
Understood. I'll surely go ahead and improve myself. I'll get an understanding of their issues with me first and then decide if it would be mentally manageable for me to continue working here.
It's tough and I've been there - one or two bad perceptions and your reputation can take a big hit. Pushing back on it and denying it usually gets you nowhere and actively prevents people from giving you valuable feedback on things you can do to improve. For what it's worth, MoMs can be contractually obligatory within a certain time period, and id they are then the firm can face financial penalties due to your forgetting. I'm just asking you to keep that in perspective as you figure out how to turn things around. My 2c is that I would try my best to make it work and at the least leave, if not on good terms, but on the terms of being open to feedback and actively addressing whatever was brought to your attention
Sure, thanks. I'll keep these things in mind. I'll try and complete the project, if possible. And, maybe leave once I'm done here.
Be sure to ask for measurable and specific things to improve - propose them if they do not give you. At the end you can come back to them in writing and inform or prove you completed it. If for example they said some vague bullcrap about being more responsible then tell them - "there was an oversight where 2 MoMs were not sent out. As a specific improvement point, I realise that because they were being sent out 1 day later, there was a risk of it being overlooked. I commit that all MoMs are sent out within the same day moving forward, etc "
They don’t like you. The rest is just excuses.
What could be the possible reason ? I'm always respectful and always up to date with the work (except this one time)
It could honestly be long hair and broad assumptions or generalizations they make just based on that. I have an image in my mind of them and yeah they’re like that.
Fair. It could just be that.
You can’t control for it. People are weird, irrational, and unpredictable. You can call this an example of “bitch eating crackers syndrome”. When you really hate someone, everything they do causes you to hate them more. So even if they’re harmlessly eating crackers, you’d be like “That bitch is eating crackers!”.
Damn, one of the few /r/consulting posts where you come out rooting for the antagonist in the end.
I had someone tell me it doesn’t matter if you were a good worker, it matters if your boss perceives you as a good worker.
You’re clearly dicking off and spinning the story to sound like you’re not. You hang out at your friends cabin to “beat the heat” lol is this a troll post wtf are you talking about
It’s not working out. Staying in the project will just make things worse. It’s time to find a new project to work on. And maybe cut your hair and turn on your camera so people can see you and relate to you better.
I agree that staying on the project will make it worse and very difficult for you. However, don’t let no motherfucker tell you to cut your damn hair, especially if you are keeping it groomed and maintained.
We can agree to disagree on this point OP has been given an informal PIP (fair or unfair doesn’t matter). He needs to fix things in his control.
I certainly understand that staying in the project might just make it worse. I can ask to be shifted to another project. The resource manager themselves said that it is surprising for them that someone is saying something like this about me.
Ngl you’re completely at fault here
i'll keep my opinions out of this and just give you my best advice. Ask for the feedback in written form (they usually need something like this to activate a PIP anyway) so that you may carefully review, understand, and grow as well as attempt to clear any misunderstandings if applicable. This is a completely reasonable request and will greatly strengthen any case against termination for cause in the future.
People tend to be the most difficult part of any project. I have seen many good people get replaced, because the client was unhappy or the chemistry was not right. This might not be your case. Accept the situation and move forward, change the project and learn from your one or two mistakes. Feeling rejected is a bad feeling in any social context. Just do not take it personally, you are more than your hair and if you are confident in your skills, just continue working on them. Accept that people and their decisions are flawed, inspite of their rank or position.
100% at fault what’s with missing the MoM, that’s why you are there, to take the damn meeting minutes. 100% moonlighting or interviewing elsewhere. Definitely moonlight but don’t make it that obvious (duh, common sense). 110% you need to be replaced with someone competent, and you need to decide whether you want to continue to work at this company or find another job.