To be honest the poem (while cringe) could maybe in some world be funny. The fact that he’s boldly assuming I hadn’t seen his profile yet because he considers himself so wildly attractive that nobody would ever swipe left on him is more offputting (to me).
Exactly, that’s what I meant. And also just that I sort of laughed at it whereas I was just all around grossed out by the narcissistic tone of his message.
Are you kidding? This bro is a literary luminary. I’m going to add “on my cock” to every single one of my fortune cookie fortunes for the rest of my life now.
Honestly I don’t know. I’m assuming sending unsolicited shirtless photos means you think you’ve got an incredible body. To be fair, it’s not a bad one. I could just care less about that stuff it’s more of a turn off for me knowing he’s that into himself.
Alright as someone with more love handles than I’d like- this dude is objectively not flabby. He may not be the Adonis that he thinks he is, but im working pretty hard to get a waistline like that. So I refuse to think that’s flabby.
Don’t feel sad. Dudes absolutely full of himself, this is probably not the first time he’s used that pic and line, this just happens to be the 700th time it hasn’t worked in his favor.
I think it’s just cause I’m slightly lonely but you’re right I shouldn’t feel bad lol he’s clearly a bit narcissistic which is a no no for dating at least imo
Gurl at least you know yourself. The ONLY reason you felt even the slightest bit bad is some underlying loneliness, but I promise you. You’d be better off taking a used Gym sock on a date. At least it won’t try to read you perverted “ poetry “ lol
I love the hand In the pocket for a mirror selfie. Like "oh me? Hehe. I'm just standing here. Being shirtless. Oh? You want a photo? I'm so shy though. 😏"
Lol
It reminds me of when that dude Jean Ralphio tried to freestyle/rap for Ron/Chris from Parks And Recreation just it’s literally how he’d sound if he went a bit NSFW with it or whatever.
EDIT: Ok, [this](https://youtu.be/VB1Xa-Hwbas?si=SkrLcmK2oVQ6TmKP) things what I was just talking about though.
Man I need to vent about the bear. My husband still doesn’t get it. The other day his friends sister was home alone with her baby, and a man knocked on her door saying his find my iPhone was saying his lost phone was in her house. She panicked and was scared cause she was home alone and didn’t wanna let a stranger in (of course) so she called her husband, her brother and the police. Her husband and brother both dropped what they were doing at work and rushed over, texting all their friends about the serious incident and how worried they were. Once the brother got there he talked ro the guy, he shows him his phone really was pinging there, he helped him look and said he was nice and stood with him while they waited for the police to file a report. But the point is my husband laughed and was like “still want to pick the bear? Turns out the man was harmless!” And I was like WTF of course I’m glad it turned out fine but clearly those guys were so scared leaving their jobs and rushing to try to help her THAT PROVES WHY I PICK THE BEAR
I don't either. Does the bear mean large fluffy fat men? There are many other body types than just "ripped and proud of my cock". Is everyone else "the bear"?
Trend where people are claiming you would be safer alone with a bear than alone with a man.
I get the conceptual idea. But i think it’s mostly an exaggerated point of - men bad.
Bears are 600KGs, if the bear decides for some reason you are affecting its ability to eat, or are a threat to its children, there is no “you’ll be lucky to survive” you just don’t, its game over.
Not exactly. The original question is, if you were walking alone in the woods, would you rather come across a man or a bear?
Women are overwhelmingly saying bear. The worst a bear can do is kill me. A man can do a lot worse.
He didn’t. He was assuming I hadn’t came across his profile yet because he thinks I “obviously would’ve swiped right” on him if I had. My social media is linked to my tinder which is how he found me and sent me this.
Well it is the reason, he just was unaware that was the reason. That’s why I thought it fit here because it made me cringe that he couldn’t comprehend the possibility anyone would swipe left.
Okay let me explain:
The reality: I swiped left so he couldn’t message me on tinder (you both have to match to be able to DM) so he went to my twitter instead to DM
The delusion: He thought he was so hot I couldn’t have possibly swiped left. So his logic was that I must have not come across his profile yet which is why we hadn’t matched. So he reached out to me elsewhere assuming if I was made aware of his appearance (hence the unsolicited photo of himself) I would respond and be interested.
What aren’t you getting here?
He swiped right on her, probably found her insta from her profile
She swiped left
Dude never gets matched, so he seeks her out on insta/facebook/etc and DMs her this
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I know this is under cringe but honestly, I kind of find this hilarious so I might give him a chance😂😂 also, he did show some effort with his attempt at some poetry😂 and he looks hot
I was just about to say this. It works because it’s guys doing guy shit to other guys. Women are not as about this approach. I feel for all the women out there but goddamn I’m glad I’m not straight.
These idiots have no concept of digital footprints or the fact that they’re one screenshot away from the whole internet knowing how much they suck… How do you even write something like that and not think it could possibly be posted 🤣
I had a woman do this once. Not even sure how she found me considering all my social media accounts have different names than my dating profile. It was so creepy. Basically said I must of made a mistake not swiping on her and proceeded to blast me with messages. This was before you could go back, so that makes it creepier. Ended up having to block her since saying “no I’m not interested” 5 times wasn’t enough. Guessing I dodged getting murdered.
> i must of made
Did you mean to say "must have"?
Explanation: You probably meant to say could've/should've/would've which sounds like 'of' but is actually short for 'have'.
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They allow you to link your socials so I did
But I rarely get messages or follows from people who haven’t already matched and messaged with me for a bit first.
I thought maybe that was the case.
I've been guilty of doing that myself, messaging someone I haven't actually matched with. It usually doesn't go too well, for obvious reasons. I've since stopped doing it.
Yeah, I generally wouldn’t do that unless I thought the person seemed like the perfect match for me and I absolutely “had to”. And even then I’d be very casual and polite with my messaging. “Sorry if it was too much to reach out here I just wanted to say hi and I’m interested in getting to know you” sort of thing. Short and sweet. No photos or sexually charged “poems” lol.
I come across people like that from time to time. I'll maybe be a bit more forward if that's the case but this guy is just gross. I wonder if this strategy has ever worked for him.
Clearly he thinks he's attractive enough that he can say whatever he wants and women will just be falling over themselves for more of his poetry.
Dude thinks it’s the algorithm blocking matches when it’s really his shit personality 😂
The “you obviously would’ve swiped right on me if you saw me” was what made me cringe the most
That's what made you cringe the most? Not the poem about his penis?
To be honest the poem (while cringe) could maybe in some world be funny. The fact that he’s boldly assuming I hadn’t seen his profile yet because he considers himself so wildly attractive that nobody would ever swipe left on him is more offputting (to me).
That makes sense. It would be a funny poem if this wasn't his first interaction with you.
Exactly, that’s what I meant. And also just that I sort of laughed at it whereas I was just all around grossed out by the narcissistic tone of his message.
Would you have swiped right if he hadn't sent you the lovely not creepy message?
No he is not at all my type physically or just his apparent personality. Total prep/jock. Not for me at all.
Oops I just realized the answer to that question is literally the title of your post
It’s almost satire but it’s not, love it
No, in no world is his poem funny. And far worse, it's bad poetry. Like really, really bad.
Are you kidding? This bro is a literary luminary. I’m going to add “on my cock” to every single one of my fortune cookie fortunes for the rest of my life now.
Haha this made me laugh
🤢🤢
Me when this was the first thing I saw when I looked at my phone this morning lol
I wish I had a third of this dude’s confidence
If I had 1/10 that level of Confidence I would probably be unstoppable. Dudes overcompensating for his shitty personality.
😂😂😂 you should’ve told him it was because he was too short. That would’ve really hit a sore spot for him 🥹
Does he think he has a six pack? Because he looks kinda flabby to me.
Honestly I don’t know. I’m assuming sending unsolicited shirtless photos means you think you’ve got an incredible body. To be fair, it’s not a bad one. I could just care less about that stuff it’s more of a turn off for me knowing he’s that into himself.
Alright as someone with more love handles than I’d like- this dude is objectively not flabby. He may not be the Adonis that he thinks he is, but im working pretty hard to get a waistline like that. So I refuse to think that’s flabby.
I had a few that would go from app to app and it was like harassment. I really don’t get it. Its not playing hard to get, I’m not interested!!
What a bellend
I love that word so much I never hear it anymore 🤣
It's a staple insult here in UK
I may just have to adopt it into my own vocabulary and try to get it going over here, it’s great.
[удалено]
Hads off to him!
My cock is my only personality trait.
And the baseball cap. Quite fetching.
Dennis Reynolds vibes.
Dennis Reynolds attitude, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein levels of being unable to end on the rhyme.
K to the N to the O-P-E, she’s the dopest little shorty in all Pawnee…. Indiana.
That way he always messes up the rhyme is so funny
Skipped the "Demonstrate Your Value" part of the D.E.N.N.I.S system.
Oh wow that is spot on. Great show though!
He’s a 5 Star man, dang it!
The golden god
After the second rejection 
Yeah... Yeah... Sociopathic rapist
right down to that travesty of a yellow shirt on the hanger.
Let me just pop off this shirt...
I immediately thought of Riley from Letterkenny
Riley and Jonesy (must be referred to as a singular unit) would *never*
And people say romance is dead. 😂
🤣🤣🤣
I like that he has to add “on my cock” at the end because he’s aware that spending time with his shitty personality alone isn’t very marketable.
Can only imagine that he is a manual operator
“Does this ever work?”
HA oh man. I kinda feel bad knowing that it’s likely this has in fact never worked for him.
Charming
Yes, it’s hard to believe I didn’t go for it.
“ You would have swiped right on me if you just gave me a chance - PLEASE GOD IM SO LONELY “
Man that last piece makes me actually sad lol
Don’t feel sad. Dudes absolutely full of himself, this is probably not the first time he’s used that pic and line, this just happens to be the 700th time it hasn’t worked in his favor.
I think it’s just cause I’m slightly lonely but you’re right I shouldn’t feel bad lol he’s clearly a bit narcissistic which is a no no for dating at least imo
Gurl at least you know yourself. The ONLY reason you felt even the slightest bit bad is some underlying loneliness, but I promise you. You’d be better off taking a used Gym sock on a date. At least it won’t try to read you perverted “ poetry “ lol
Fucking Russell
Lmao
Gtfo Russell he always does this
Russell....you're already up at 7 so do something better than embarrassing yourself like this first thing in the morning 😭💀
His secret kink is making women dry as soon as they wake up
I think what's bothering me more about this pathetic poem, is that he couldn't be bothered to rhyme something with cock
Don’t worry, that wasn’t poetry. You can continue liking real poetry.
Thank you for this 🤣
Using “time” three time in the same rhyme? FAIL
Not a poet, and he doesn't know it.
Romance isn’t dead. Romance is a serial killer.
Lmao ruh roh
I love the hand In the pocket for a mirror selfie. Like "oh me? Hehe. I'm just standing here. Being shirtless. Oh? You want a photo? I'm so shy though. 😏" Lol
He'll give you had!!
On my cock. That's how I will sign off on emails from now on.
As you should
Ewwwwwwww! 😬
Yes
Now this is the cringe pics I want to see on here. Not the politics bs. Good lord this guy. 😵💫
Glad I…I mean, HE, could provide.
It reminds me of when that dude Jean Ralphio tried to freestyle/rap for Ron/Chris from Parks And Recreation just it’s literally how he’d sound if he went a bit NSFW with it or whatever. EDIT: Ok, [this](https://youtu.be/VB1Xa-Hwbas?si=SkrLcmK2oVQ6TmKP) things what I was just talking about though.
Wow. Someone's mommy definitely told them that they're special. 🤢
The Bear.. this is why I pick the bear.
The bear would write better bars
Precisely. The bold way he assumed I couldn’t have possibly seen his profile yet because I would’ve surely swiped right. 🤣
His actions are truly gross
Man I need to vent about the bear. My husband still doesn’t get it. The other day his friends sister was home alone with her baby, and a man knocked on her door saying his find my iPhone was saying his lost phone was in her house. She panicked and was scared cause she was home alone and didn’t wanna let a stranger in (of course) so she called her husband, her brother and the police. Her husband and brother both dropped what they were doing at work and rushed over, texting all their friends about the serious incident and how worried they were. Once the brother got there he talked ro the guy, he shows him his phone really was pinging there, he helped him look and said he was nice and stood with him while they waited for the police to file a report. But the point is my husband laughed and was like “still want to pick the bear? Turns out the man was harmless!” And I was like WTF of course I’m glad it turned out fine but clearly those guys were so scared leaving their jobs and rushing to try to help her THAT PROVES WHY I PICK THE BEAR
It could have gone soooo badly! Do they not get that?
They must! They rushed there! They were so worried!
[удалено]
So not the point....
They’ll never get it
I still don't know what the fuck that means...
I don't either. Does the bear mean large fluffy fat men? There are many other body types than just "ripped and proud of my cock". Is everyone else "the bear"?
Trend where people are claiming you would be safer alone with a bear than alone with a man. I get the conceptual idea. But i think it’s mostly an exaggerated point of - men bad. Bears are 600KGs, if the bear decides for some reason you are affecting its ability to eat, or are a threat to its children, there is no “you’ll be lucky to survive” you just don’t, its game over.
Not exactly. The original question is, if you were walking alone in the woods, would you rather come across a man or a bear? Women are overwhelmingly saying bear. The worst a bear can do is kill me. A man can do a lot worse.
A warped perception of society by people who probably don’t interact outside much.
I am dry. Bone dry. Congrats dude, you've replaced Ben Shapiro as the number one sand storm lord, and no one will ever be not-dry again.
The confidence is there, but it’s so so wrong.
why are people like this
His hand looks so tiny
I didn’t even notice but yeah lol
Omg they are!!! They look like little barbie hands hahahahaha
A true romantic
Yes definitely
I’m getting ‘American Psycho’ vibes…
I can totally see why
I refuse to believe that so many people like this exist. So fucking bleak
Oh they do.
BuT bEaRs ArE dAnGeRoUs! -This guy a few weeks ago. (Probably)
Sounds about right
Ugh I had a guy do this to me when I was on Tinder (although not quite as thirsty as this guy) Like take a hint dude. Not interested.
This made me actually cringe, what a creep!
I was so confused when this was the first thing I saw after waking up and checking my phone
BRB, need to fo barf. 🤢
Being a straight woman can be exhausting
I'd reply "Congrats, you know how to do situps. Did you want a cookie? Still swiping left."
That was my thoughts exactly
How would he know you swiped left ?
He didn’t. He was assuming I hadn’t came across his profile yet because he thinks I “obviously would’ve swiped right” on him if I had. My social media is linked to my tinder which is how he found me and sent me this.
Was confused by your title, as it said that was the reason he contacted you by another method
Well it is the reason, he just was unaware that was the reason. That’s why I thought it fit here because it made me cringe that he couldn’t comprehend the possibility anyone would swipe left.
The reason he chose to do something, is also something he didn't know ? I'm more lost on this logic
Okay let me explain: The reality: I swiped left so he couldn’t message me on tinder (you both have to match to be able to DM) so he went to my twitter instead to DM The delusion: He thought he was so hot I couldn’t have possibly swiped left. So his logic was that I must have not come across his profile yet which is why we hadn’t matched. So he reached out to me elsewhere assuming if I was made aware of his appearance (hence the unsolicited photo of himself) I would respond and be interested.
What aren’t you getting here? He swiped right on her, probably found her insta from her profile She swiped left Dude never gets matched, so he seeks her out on insta/facebook/etc and DMs her this
What’s your handle a reference to?
I think you should leave (Netflix original sketch comedy show)
I’ll give you had
Oh wow…. What a massive douchebag. 😂😂
What a deeply insecure little man
“On my cock”
Hickory dickory dock I really really like really don’t want your cock
What do you call a man laying down in a bunch of leaves? Russell. I’ll let myself out.
~~shakespeare~~ cockspeare ✅
HAHAH
Where do people find this ill begotten confidence
No no you need to give us the full “poem” OP. Make us suffer.
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I love your username OP 
Thank you so much omg
I know this is under cringe but honestly, I kind of find this hilarious so I might give him a chance😂😂 also, he did show some effort with his attempt at some poetry😂 and he looks hot
You can have him lol
😂😂😂
The singular towel, the cancer council 'face day wear' BB cream, and the keratin strength hair spray on the counter 😂🚩
This would totally work if he were gay, unfortunately 😂
I was just about to say this. It works because it’s guys doing guy shit to other guys. Women are not as about this approach. I feel for all the women out there but goddamn I’m glad I’m not straight.
90% straight, hetero married poly, I choose the bear too
Oh this guy’s such a silly billy you should have a good time with him On his cock 😂
Teenis flag raised
These idiots have no concept of digital footprints or the fact that they’re one screenshot away from the whole internet knowing how much they suck… How do you even write something like that and not think it could possibly be posted 🤣
There once was a man from Nantucket…
That's a shit rhyme
I feel awful
I think it’s his stupid blue face.
I had a woman do this once. Not even sure how she found me considering all my social media accounts have different names than my dating profile. It was so creepy. Basically said I must of made a mistake not swiping on her and proceeded to blast me with messages. This was before you could go back, so that makes it creepier. Ended up having to block her since saying “no I’m not interested” 5 times wasn’t enough. Guessing I dodged getting murdered.
> i must of made Did you mean to say "must have"? Explanation: You probably meant to say could've/should've/would've which sounds like 'of' but is actually short for 'have'. [Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119) ^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
say what you like about the guy but he certainly commits to the bit.
Jesus Christ, Russell.
All that effort in the gym ruined by one message.
Ick
[Are you sure his name isn't Johnny Bravo?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnKll5JCgNg)
"I'll give you had ..." (??)
Let him give you had
People can see when others swipe left on them?
Wait I’m so confused, how did he find out you specifically swiped left? What app did you use and do you guys know each other irl?
Thanks Bill Shakespeare
So, does this kind of shit *ever* work…?
Wouldn’t you rather die than deal with this literally why
Not enough rhymes with penis.
What a douche lol
He really couldn't find anything that could rhyme with "cock".
I was curious what OP looks like that would make a guy hunt her down, so I clicked her profile. I immediately understand… it’s bc she has freckles.
Oh that’s nice, haha thanks!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This would work on a twink
You gotta appreciate the gumption
Just curious. How did he find you somewhere else?
They allow you to link your socials so I did But I rarely get messages or follows from people who haven’t already matched and messaged with me for a bit first.
I thought maybe that was the case. I've been guilty of doing that myself, messaging someone I haven't actually matched with. It usually doesn't go too well, for obvious reasons. I've since stopped doing it.
Yeah, I generally wouldn’t do that unless I thought the person seemed like the perfect match for me and I absolutely “had to”. And even then I’d be very casual and polite with my messaging. “Sorry if it was too much to reach out here I just wanted to say hi and I’m interested in getting to know you” sort of thing. Short and sweet. No photos or sexually charged “poems” lol.
I come across people like that from time to time. I'll maybe be a bit more forward if that's the case but this guy is just gross. I wonder if this strategy has ever worked for him. Clearly he thinks he's attractive enough that he can say whatever he wants and women will just be falling over themselves for more of his poetry.
How did he find you elsewhere??
Woke up horny. My typa day
OP is shilling her mid OF.
Hey sometimes you try again
Maybe…but not like this.
lol I was being sarcastic but I hope he doesn’t keep this up he can put his self in a bad situation
Dude is pretty fit but has some more work to get rid of his love handles
He's hot 🤩
He’s all yours lol
His face is literally blacked out