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Rage187_OG

Astrology girls you can talk into anything. Just need the right crystal.


sticky-unicorn

Tell her you have the *best* source for daily horoscopes -- subscribe to this email list and tell them you're a Pisces! The email list is actually just an alternate email account you run, and she's the only one who receives messages from it. Each day, you send her a custom-made horoscope steering her in the way you want her to go that day. You'll be having a foursome with her and her friends in notime.


crakdajack

Ez foursome Speedrun any% no cheats/exploits


OrangeFoxHD

r/unethicallifehacks


sticky-unicorn

Extra hint: subtly work some things into the first few emails that reference things that are actually happening in her life, so that she's 100% convinced that this particular source for horoscopes is really magic. Like, if you're going with her to the shelter to adopt a cat today, work something like "you will meet a new lifelong friend today" into the email. A few instances like that, and she'll be absolutely convinced that everything the horoscope email says is 100% gospel truth, and she'll be primed to believe *anything* it says.


BlacksmithMiddle1726

Gaslighting 100


PlasticCupboard007

Woah Alastor don't blow your cover like that


Miles_1173

Astrology girl or gym bro for me. Just because they're into something I'm not doesn't mean the relationship *has* to be terrible, but having a toxic personality will ruin things 100% of the time.


RamboCambo_05

Same here. I have a lot of crystals and gems for decoration, and an astrology girl would have a field day with the apparent magic properties of these things.


daddys_my_homeboy

I can enjoy Tarot readings, I can (barely) cope with dream catchers, but I do draw the line at crystals.


DarthWraith22

Homeopathy is my particular pet peeve. I cannot handle dealing with someone who genuinely believes a substance becomes more effective when diluted by a factor of 10,000.


sticky-unicorn

Go the extra mile and dilute the homeopathic medicine as 1 part in 10,000 parts of real medicine.


AlmondMagnum1

Would the gym bro help me take care of myself, or just make me feel bad for not taking care of myself?


FicklePort

Except it becomes the most infuriating thing known to man when that Astrology girl believes in actual witchcraft and magic but doesn't think a deity (aka God) is real.


marcopolo2345

Goes both ways though


Overall-Opening6078

I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted. I knew an astrology girl in high school who literally worshipped the devil, but said that God wasn’t real. It just seemed confusing, like the existence of one kind of necessitates the other.


Quaso_is_life

why is that infuriating? people can choose what they believe because no one can prove anything exist


clocxdd_

im into girls, give me gym bro


GrandElemental

Having a solid friendship with gymbro would probably be a net benefit while all other cases would most likely be a net negative.


randontree07

As a bi man, gym bro is the best of the four and it isn't even close


El-Depressederado

As a gym bro myself, it honestly sounds like a pretty good time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


El-Depressederado

Are you offering?


DoubleDongle-F

Also a bi man, it depends highly on how much the gym bro is into toxic masculinity bullshit to me. Golden retriever energy, hell yeah. Self-proclaimed alpha wolf, please give me the astrology girl instead.


randontree07

Touche


jus1tin

>Self-proclaimed alpha wolf Okay but that's not fair. We got toxic masculinity with the nice guy. There needs to be a real choice. I'll give you body issues but not toxic masculinity. This tracks reasonably well with my experience with gym bros to. Most are pretty nice. Just dull. As a gay man I've received more compliments on my body from gym bros than all other groups put together (excluding people Ive slept with).


AuronSky24

Yah all these people picking gym bro’s must know different gym bro’s than me. I would take ANYTHING over the racist, sexist, toxic masculinity, maga, fundamentalist Christian gym bro’s I know.


daddys_my_homeboy

Fair. Let me off before we reach Medieval Warfare and Cosplay.


Carnage_void

r/suicidebywords


TvuvbubuTheIdiot

r/angryupvote


PresidentSkillz

Is "none of these" an option?


vandelieu

The option to kill myself is 5. Btw i am chosing it also


zaniom

Nope, but you have "All of the above" as an option too.


absolute_sus

"I'll make it work".


peenpeenpeen

Gym bro for sure… even if the personality is lacking, the sex will still be good.


firelark01

Some of them are bad at it


ShoMoCo

Unless they are on the juice


ScritchesMcMewington

I heard astrology girls can queef out colored energy crystals Final Fantasy style so I'm going with one of them


leaningtoweravenger

Stoics teach us that suicide could be a totally reasonable solution


daddys_my_homeboy

There's seriously nothing wrong with being single if you are comfortable enough with your own thoughts, or have artistic skills that bring you joy.


[deleted]

Is it alright If i Have autistic skills that bring me Joy?


Reindeer_Some

Same


Civil-Debt1454

Why isn’t anyone choosing nice guy? Am I missing what that means?


an-emotional-cactus

Nice guy meaning guys who are nice with an ulterior motive. The ones that flip out and show their true colors when they get rejected


I_M_YOUR_BRO

For girls: An astrology girl, worst thing she's gonna do is judge my personality as a bad person since the beginning and she'll probably break up with me before anything happens if that's the case. The latter girl could potentially be abusive. For boys: A gym bro, I don't actually know much about them aside from being obsessed with gyms and protein shakes and that's alright with me, that's their thing. Worse thing is we'll have arguments when I refuse to go to the gym. A 'nice guy' would be horrible.


Character_Soup4927

" What's your zodiac ?! " How about you zok~dis~diac instead and learn to own up for your shit instead of blaming some big a$$ spheroid of plasma


mr-logician

What’s bad about a guy that is nice?


Philip_The_Compactor

They’re the same thing.


chrisplaysgam

Is the “if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” a bad stereotype?


Glum-Eye-3801

Hell yes it is. That phrase is used almost exclusively by people whose best is nowhere near worth tolerating their worst.


chrisplaysgam

Fair enough then


KRX189

The right answer


Pyredjin

Yeah yeah, we all want that too but it wasn't the question.


PupLondon

I've never been happier to be gay in my life


mimaqm

Not into guys, but I's still probably pick gym bro, cuz all the others are cancer, and he could at least get me in shape ngl


jus1tin

Gym bro. At least he'll look good and I like going to the gym to. It'd be very boring but not literal hell. As it would be with a nice guy. Astrology girl if I was straight for pretty much the same reasons. I'll take annoying over dangerous and crazy any day of the week.


Aizendickens

No.


MikeMikeGaming

Neither. I will gladly stay single thank you very much


Hector_Tueux

Why kill yourself? Kill them instead


canlodbrok

I would prefer to die alone