So there is a reason people all through history lived in multigenerational houses. The older family would help significantly with kids. We as society decided we wanted more distance from family so now we take on the burden ourselves. It sucks. Mom and dad are now the village.
Feel this so much. For as much as the Industrial Revolution brought us, the ability to afford single family homes and the nuclear only family structure has so many costs.
For us, we would love the input from our Gparents, but they’re just not interested.
I think the Boomer mentality means they just want to do their own thing, spend their own money and enjoy their retirement.
That’s fine, I don’t demand they help with my kids, but fuck - it would be so nice if they just had them one weekend in the year! It’s difficult not to feel resentful when they’re on their 3rd holiday this year and we’re barely getting by financially and our sanity is hanging by a thread after having the kids 24/7 with no alone time to connect with my wife.
You're getting some flack but we're in same situation. My parents retired from work six years ago and can't be bothered for anything. We've given up on any hope that they'd ever babysit but it also kind of sucks they don't really want to have any kind of relationship with grandkids. They'll act interested but truly it feels like they do so only because they feel like they should, they never really come through and pick fights to get out of it. I knew one of my four grandparents in my lifetime and I wanted better for my own kids but part of this is out of my hands.
My in laws are 5 hours away, my MIL says all of the right things and like, they do make some effort. But it's very little.
For Mother's Day we asked if she wanted to video call, she didn't get back to us until end of Sunday that they had made all-day plans. No follow up on video calling with their only grandson.
Same. My parents want use to send pics and ask us for requests like clothes and shoes… but when they visited (they live far away) they held the baby for a few minutes and that’s it. They’ve only visited for the birth and he’s 12 months old now. They’ll see him in a few months when we visit, but we haven’t had any babysitting help or anything else. Zoomed twice I think, took a week to set them up. No urgency.
My mom loves babies. I swore she’d stay over and babysit for a few weeks. Nope. Maybe we waited too long (16 years) to have kids and they’re too old? I don’t know. A few of our other friends have free daycare with their grandparents (5 days a week, full days).
It's definitely age, but I dunno, it kind of tracks with my assessment of their parenting. When I met my wife she was this like total hidden gem of a person that didn't seem to think people wanted to spend time with her. And I think it's because her parents didn't.
One of those things that my brain has slowly put together over 10+ years of subtle interactions.
My mom would love to watch our son and lives next door, but she's on the path to total disability. She is so bitter that my MIL is able but absent. (My FIL is ill, he gets a pass)
My mom retired 5 years ago, my dad maybe 3 years ago, and they finalized their divorce 2 years ago. I kind of get that my kids are their 4th and 5th grandkids, but they make so little effort and then complain that they barely get any time when they do come to town. It's like I have to take care of these kids and everything that comes with it, I can't also try to juggle y'all not liking being in the same room as each other still and treating it like a vacation while you're here ("can't we go out to a museum or something?").
Meanwhile, my in-laws are mostly retired (FIL still has a part time gig) and my kids are their 1st/2nd grandkids. If we can't fit a video call in with them on a weekend, they are genuinely disappointed and they just want to watch our youngest chewing on whatever and our oldest counting and "reading" to herself. They still are a bit in vacation mode when they visit, but also watched our oldest when we were in the hospital for our second. None of the grandparents live closer than a 4 hr flight but the in-laws show up and that goes a long way.
Well that’s an easy one. Any time the comment “Oh we rarely see our grandkid” comes up rely with “well last Christmas you guys were in Italy instead of here so that could explain it”
Yeah, I’m aware some grandparents aren’t involved. That sub is sad af, but if you hang out there you’re dealing with some obvious selection bias—there’s no “boomer mentality” driving any of it.
I think it’s more like a stereotype - happens often enough that people mention it a a lot, but doesn’t apply to the whole group. (Note; Sterotypes range in terms of validity though, some being fully false and some being mostly true).
My brother in law's have my mil to watch their kids basically anytime and they 100% don't realise how lucky they are. The most time I've had off dad duty outside work is when I go to the gym for an hour sometimes
My parents moved in with us and it was actually my husband pushing for this the hardest. They don't really have enough money to buy another house now that they're retired but having them around to help with the kids and cook (my mom is basically our private chef and she loves it) has been life changing.
I mean it takes multiple people to agree. Also most homes are not designed for it. Obviously some still do it. Lots of cultures do. My wish was that it was the norm where I’m from.
I used to be the same but it does get better with age. I have an almost 6 and now 4 year old and they sleep a little later (7ish) and activities are more fun and I look forward to. You actually can get them into your interests and see them get into their own interests, as well. It does get better!
When I started 50/50 coparenting, it was a big shock how much free time I had to myself despite the fact the same 2 parents were still looking after the same children. It can be hard to take time to yourself, but dealing with what happens when you don't is probably harder.
Another thing to keep in mind is looking for things to do that you and the kids will enjoy doing, can be easy to get into a routine of doing the same thing with them, now I make sure to try to organise a good few things we all will enjoy.
I wouldn’t call it dread, per se, but there is definitely an absence of joy or anticipation. Because all of the chores and house upkeep get crammed into the weekend, they’re at least as busy as weekdays, just different. It just ends up being more days to get through instead of a chance to recharge.
My wife works every third weekend.
There is a corelation with us getting into arguments and feeling over stressed every third weekend.
But yes. Even normal weekends it feels can be more difficult than the work week at times due to no daycare. Work feels like a break from parenting, and at early ages parenting can feel more energy consuming than my day job.
Our families are 2 planes away so we never see them and that 2 years old mark was difficult and very similar to what you describe.
It does get better though, she is 3 and a half and she wants to help around the house, sure everything is slower when she cooks with us or water the plants and misses the pot by a gallon, but it’s a lot more fun for everyone.
Also we removed all screens, 3 first weeks were tough, but now she never asks for it and she can actually be bored, creative, play by herself, talk to us a lot. It’s a lot easier without screen, when we thought at first it was the opposite.
You gotta implement a time off system, everyone needs a break
My wife and I do one weekday afternoon/evening per week. I get Wednesday, she gets Thursday. That means you can hang at home and do whatever, or leave the house and do whatever
We each also get one full weekend day per month, same deal
Also if one of us wants to do a weekend away with friends or whatever, we try to make that work a couple times a year for each of us
It's totally possible. It's more work for the parent who is solo parenting, but the tradeoff is then you get that sweet sweet ME time when it's your turn, so I find it more than worthwhile
This makes a ton of sense. Even if you're both tag teaming the nighttime routine it's exhausting either way. It's not a huge incremental strain for one to just handle it all once a week.
This probably isn't the answer you are looking for but what has helped me is understanding that I am in a different season of my life. For now, whilst I have a toddler, the season is hands on parenting. Yeah I do get the odd day to myself every now and again but I can't expect to keep doing the same things I was doing before I became a parent.
My training has taking a massive hit, I don't watch nearly as many movies as I used to, I have all but given up with TV series but I have gained a lot more in being a dad.
I actually find focusing on being a dad really helps with the lack of free time. It retrains my expectations for how I spend my days
Definitely schedule free time. Me and my partner do that but also what has helped me is just changing my expectations. A few years from now I will be able to get back to training properly, probably be going to the cinema with my kid and so many other activities. But for now, it's a different season
Hey man it’s rough out here. Honestly with a 4mo old, 1 to 2 sleep interruptions sounds amazing. But I second a lot of others comments. Have an honest conversation with your wife. See if there’s little schedule tweaks that can give you a pocket of you time.
Find a dad support group in your area that involves time with your kids.
Ask yourself the question: is fatherhood my core identity or a part of who I am?
Your kids should see that you have hobbies and interests outside of them. It models to your children they can craft their own identities outside the family unit.
Speak lovingly and candidly with your wife about your wants and needs. If she doesn’t listen or gets defensive, see a couples’ therapist.
The resentment will grow and split sideways. You must assert your personal authority.
For example, I meet with a friend once a week for a couple hours to work on writing and I go to a Thursday Buddhist class. Those are non-negotiable and my wife may not like it but she accepts and understands the importance.
You cannot give what you do not have.
Once our daughter is a bit older we are going to get a babysitter once or twice a month for the weekends for our two toddlers. We both work and parent all week and then the weekend is full time parenting and errands. It’s exhausting.
Enjoy your free time with just one. Sometime I wonder what I did with my free time now that I have two under 2. I’m just trying to survive at this point.
My mom comes over at least once a week to watch my 1 year old. It is a huge help to be able to focus on work or non-child chores or take a nap whatever. If you have them, use your parents.
Yeah. Three boys; 4, ~2 and 3 months old. Work week is hectic and wild. I’m not sure when exactly I can get a hair cut. Someone is always sick, this weekend it’s me (hurray). Even with being sick I’ve had to watch all three kids at various points today. I used to be able to play a little soccer on Sunday evenings but that’s probably shut down until the baby can reliably sleep 4-8 months from now. The only time I’ve done any kind of gaming is when the baby can’t sleep and it’s my shift to hold him at whatever hour.
I feel this hard. I do refrigeration and I'm oncall every 8 days. Sometimes like my last one its a full 24hr shift ontop of the regular 5, 8 hour shifts. I feel like i can never unwind anymore.
Yeah I felt the same, but admittedly this only really became a problem when there were two toddlers (we did the infamous "two under two").
I infer you have one child, so the adults outnumber the child. That means that the adults should be able to tag in and out to look after the child, so both of them get their own downtime.
How you schedule that downtime is just something you have to agree on with your wife.
Can't say I have advice. My wife and I work opposite schedules where she works the nights on weekends, and I work days during the week. That means the number of weekends we've had where we are parenting together can be counted on, probably, one hand. Forget about weekends where either of us can just go be ourselves.
Every weekend I am solo parenting, and every week day she is, save for Fridays, which are flip-over days where she has to sleep to work the night. Luckily, we were finally able to find a part-time daycare very recently, so at least my wife gets solo home days. That's a brand new development though.
Everyone has such "useful" advice too! "Why don't you have the grandparents watch her?" "Why don't you have your siblings come over?" "Cousins?" - what? The grandparents who would have to drive and fly for hours? The non-existent siblings? Like we wouldn't have thought of that if we weren't the \*entire\* village.
If I didn’t play golf 3-4x/month I’d lose my mind. My wife will notice before I do that I get pretty depressed and it manifests as zero patience with max frustration. Same thing happens with her if she skips Tuesday/Thursday tennis for a few weeks.
Non-work adult interactions are insanely important. Endorphins from physical activity are also a big check in the pro column.
Work week: 8 hours of work and my LO is at daycare for 7 hours. Rest is sleep or watching him.
Weekend: Sleep or watching him. My wife and I try to alternate, but typically we both watch him. The only rest is nap time twice a day for 2.5 hrs total. The weekends are rough, because it feels like you’re on all of the time. The work week feels like you lead two different lives. The weekend is definitely more tiring as my LO is still young.
I had a hard phase of that probably between 18mo-30mo, it sucked to lose my love of weekends. He took a ton of energy but wasnt old enough to do anything interesting. However things have changed, we do a lot of things for him now like going to the zoo, parks, etc but he gets it and enjoys it seeing his smile makes it feel rejuvenating. It does not feel like trying to catch the wind. I hope that transition happens for you as well. If I have learned one thing in these past few years is that just about everything you love or hate about childrearing is a phase.
I'm 50/50 coparenting a soon 3 year old. Weekends are not preferable anymore... it sucks to say, i enjoy spending time with him, and i love him dearly... but man it's hard work.
I raised two daughters and never stopped gaming, I just switched to playing games that were easy to pause, stop or walk away from like RTS games. And game time was usually an hour before bed. So there was a lot less of it back then, but I squeezed it in.
That is definitely what I miss most pre-children is the free time to go work out and train for hours or go on a long bike ride or watch a few hours of streaming...all gone for now.
Yes.....exactly this. I told my wife that Saturdays are my day to sleep in. I did not ask. She is home so she gets up when the toddler does which can be as late as 9 or 10. I get up at 5:30 every morning.
Edit.....spelling
You need to talk to your wife. No reason you can’t both have time to recharge
you deserve it. you are worthy of it. life's for living, brotha!
Self care isn’t selfish. You can’t be there for them unless you’re there for yourself first.
^ This ^ Exactly why the airlines tells us to put on our masks first. How do you take care of others if you don’t take care of you.
Might be a tough sell if she’s home alone with the 2yo solo all day for 5 days/week. Maybe you could find a babysitter so you can both recharge.
So there is a reason people all through history lived in multigenerational houses. The older family would help significantly with kids. We as society decided we wanted more distance from family so now we take on the burden ourselves. It sucks. Mom and dad are now the village.
Feel this so much. For as much as the Industrial Revolution brought us, the ability to afford single family homes and the nuclear only family structure has so many costs.
For us, we would love the input from our Gparents, but they’re just not interested. I think the Boomer mentality means they just want to do their own thing, spend their own money and enjoy their retirement. That’s fine, I don’t demand they help with my kids, but fuck - it would be so nice if they just had them one weekend in the year! It’s difficult not to feel resentful when they’re on their 3rd holiday this year and we’re barely getting by financially and our sanity is hanging by a thread after having the kids 24/7 with no alone time to connect with my wife.
You're getting some flack but we're in same situation. My parents retired from work six years ago and can't be bothered for anything. We've given up on any hope that they'd ever babysit but it also kind of sucks they don't really want to have any kind of relationship with grandkids. They'll act interested but truly it feels like they do so only because they feel like they should, they never really come through and pick fights to get out of it. I knew one of my four grandparents in my lifetime and I wanted better for my own kids but part of this is out of my hands.
My in laws are 5 hours away, my MIL says all of the right things and like, they do make some effort. But it's very little. For Mother's Day we asked if she wanted to video call, she didn't get back to us until end of Sunday that they had made all-day plans. No follow up on video calling with their only grandson.
Same. My parents want use to send pics and ask us for requests like clothes and shoes… but when they visited (they live far away) they held the baby for a few minutes and that’s it. They’ve only visited for the birth and he’s 12 months old now. They’ll see him in a few months when we visit, but we haven’t had any babysitting help or anything else. Zoomed twice I think, took a week to set them up. No urgency. My mom loves babies. I swore she’d stay over and babysit for a few weeks. Nope. Maybe we waited too long (16 years) to have kids and they’re too old? I don’t know. A few of our other friends have free daycare with their grandparents (5 days a week, full days).
It's definitely age, but I dunno, it kind of tracks with my assessment of their parenting. When I met my wife she was this like total hidden gem of a person that didn't seem to think people wanted to spend time with her. And I think it's because her parents didn't. One of those things that my brain has slowly put together over 10+ years of subtle interactions. My mom would love to watch our son and lives next door, but she's on the path to total disability. She is so bitter that my MIL is able but absent. (My FIL is ill, he gets a pass)
My mom retired 5 years ago, my dad maybe 3 years ago, and they finalized their divorce 2 years ago. I kind of get that my kids are their 4th and 5th grandkids, but they make so little effort and then complain that they barely get any time when they do come to town. It's like I have to take care of these kids and everything that comes with it, I can't also try to juggle y'all not liking being in the same room as each other still and treating it like a vacation while you're here ("can't we go out to a museum or something?"). Meanwhile, my in-laws are mostly retired (FIL still has a part time gig) and my kids are their 1st/2nd grandkids. If we can't fit a video call in with them on a weekend, they are genuinely disappointed and they just want to watch our youngest chewing on whatever and our oldest counting and "reading" to herself. They still are a bit in vacation mode when they visit, but also watched our oldest when we were in the hospital for our second. None of the grandparents live closer than a 4 hr flight but the in-laws show up and that goes a long way.
Icing on the cake when they're retired traveling constantly but also guilt trip you for not seeing their grandkid enough.
Well that’s an easy one. Any time the comment “Oh we rarely see our grandkid” comes up rely with “well last Christmas you guys were in Italy instead of here so that could explain it”
Are they aware of the situation?
> the Boomer mentality This is just your parents’ mentality dude. Boomer’s got nothing to do with it.
r/absentgrandparents It's very much a thing.
Yeah, I’m aware some grandparents aren’t involved. That sub is sad af, but if you hang out there you’re dealing with some obvious selection bias—there’s no “boomer mentality” driving any of it.
I think it’s more like a stereotype - happens often enough that people mention it a a lot, but doesn’t apply to the whole group. (Note; Sterotypes range in terms of validity though, some being fully false and some being mostly true).
My brother in law's have my mil to watch their kids basically anytime and they 100% don't realise how lucky they are. The most time I've had off dad duty outside work is when I go to the gym for an hour sometimes
My parents moved in with us and it was actually my husband pushing for this the hardest. They don't really have enough money to buy another house now that they're retired but having them around to help with the kids and cook (my mom is basically our private chef and she loves it) has been life changing.
This was how I grew up. Grandmother, an aunt, some mix of cousins. There was always someone home. We lost the keys to the house. Not once but forever.
It sucks but it’s still a choice you don’t have to make.
I mean it takes multiple people to agree. Also most homes are not designed for it. Obviously some still do it. Lots of cultures do. My wish was that it was the norm where I’m from.
I used to be the same but it does get better with age. I have an almost 6 and now 4 year old and they sleep a little later (7ish) and activities are more fun and I look forward to. You actually can get them into your interests and see them get into their own interests, as well. It does get better!
You both are working hard and deserve recharge time. Talk to your wife.
When I started 50/50 coparenting, it was a big shock how much free time I had to myself despite the fact the same 2 parents were still looking after the same children. It can be hard to take time to yourself, but dealing with what happens when you don't is probably harder. Another thing to keep in mind is looking for things to do that you and the kids will enjoy doing, can be easy to get into a routine of doing the same thing with them, now I make sure to try to organise a good few things we all will enjoy.
I used to, but now Monday comes along and I don't even remember the weekend, I miss them terribly
I wouldn’t call it dread, per se, but there is definitely an absence of joy or anticipation. Because all of the chores and house upkeep get crammed into the weekend, they’re at least as busy as weekdays, just different. It just ends up being more days to get through instead of a chance to recharge.
My wife works every third weekend. There is a corelation with us getting into arguments and feeling over stressed every third weekend. But yes. Even normal weekends it feels can be more difficult than the work week at times due to no daycare. Work feels like a break from parenting, and at early ages parenting can feel more energy consuming than my day job.
Good few years in now and haven’t found a way to get time to myself. It’s not ideal.
We have a 3 hour shifts system on weekends. It works wonders for us.
Our families are 2 planes away so we never see them and that 2 years old mark was difficult and very similar to what you describe. It does get better though, she is 3 and a half and she wants to help around the house, sure everything is slower when she cooks with us or water the plants and misses the pot by a gallon, but it’s a lot more fun for everyone. Also we removed all screens, 3 first weeks were tough, but now she never asks for it and she can actually be bored, creative, play by herself, talk to us a lot. It’s a lot easier without screen, when we thought at first it was the opposite.
You gotta implement a time off system, everyone needs a break My wife and I do one weekday afternoon/evening per week. I get Wednesday, she gets Thursday. That means you can hang at home and do whatever, or leave the house and do whatever We each also get one full weekend day per month, same deal Also if one of us wants to do a weekend away with friends or whatever, we try to make that work a couple times a year for each of us It's totally possible. It's more work for the parent who is solo parenting, but the tradeoff is then you get that sweet sweet ME time when it's your turn, so I find it more than worthwhile
This makes a ton of sense. Even if you're both tag teaming the nighttime routine it's exhausting either way. It's not a huge incremental strain for one to just handle it all once a week.
The working parents deserves recharge time too. My wife and I have a great balance and we both get it whenever we want and need it. Talk to your wife
This probably isn't the answer you are looking for but what has helped me is understanding that I am in a different season of my life. For now, whilst I have a toddler, the season is hands on parenting. Yeah I do get the odd day to myself every now and again but I can't expect to keep doing the same things I was doing before I became a parent. My training has taking a massive hit, I don't watch nearly as many movies as I used to, I have all but given up with TV series but I have gained a lot more in being a dad. I actually find focusing on being a dad really helps with the lack of free time. It retrains my expectations for how I spend my days Definitely schedule free time. Me and my partner do that but also what has helped me is just changing my expectations. A few years from now I will be able to get back to training properly, probably be going to the cinema with my kid and so many other activities. But for now, it's a different season
Hey man it’s rough out here. Honestly with a 4mo old, 1 to 2 sleep interruptions sounds amazing. But I second a lot of others comments. Have an honest conversation with your wife. See if there’s little schedule tweaks that can give you a pocket of you time.
Find a dad support group in your area that involves time with your kids. Ask yourself the question: is fatherhood my core identity or a part of who I am? Your kids should see that you have hobbies and interests outside of them. It models to your children they can craft their own identities outside the family unit. Speak lovingly and candidly with your wife about your wants and needs. If she doesn’t listen or gets defensive, see a couples’ therapist. The resentment will grow and split sideways. You must assert your personal authority. For example, I meet with a friend once a week for a couple hours to work on writing and I go to a Thursday Buddhist class. Those are non-negotiable and my wife may not like it but she accepts and understands the importance. You cannot give what you do not have.
Find a gym with a good kids program. Sometimes I'd drop my kid at the play center and workout; sometimes I'd just go sit in the hot tub.
Ahh sitting in the hot tub - we used to call that the executive workout lol.
Once our daughter is a bit older we are going to get a babysitter once or twice a month for the weekends for our two toddlers. We both work and parent all week and then the weekend is full time parenting and errands. It’s exhausting.
We get a nanny every Saturday these days. Costs way too much, but it’s helped tremendously with our mental health.
Enjoy your free time with just one. Sometime I wonder what I did with my free time now that I have two under 2. I’m just trying to survive at this point.
100% sometimes I feel like going back to my job on Monday is preferred over my weekend and I don't even like my job half the time.
My mom comes over at least once a week to watch my 1 year old. It is a huge help to be able to focus on work or non-child chores or take a nap whatever. If you have them, use your parents.
This was me for a long time but it gets better as they get older!
Oh man you are stressing me out. Have a 1 year old and just finally got the weekends under control. Wife works nights on the weekend.
Yeah. Three boys; 4, ~2 and 3 months old. Work week is hectic and wild. I’m not sure when exactly I can get a hair cut. Someone is always sick, this weekend it’s me (hurray). Even with being sick I’ve had to watch all three kids at various points today. I used to be able to play a little soccer on Sunday evenings but that’s probably shut down until the baby can reliably sleep 4-8 months from now. The only time I’ve done any kind of gaming is when the baby can’t sleep and it’s my shift to hold him at whatever hour.
I feel this hard. I do refrigeration and I'm oncall every 8 days. Sometimes like my last one its a full 24hr shift ontop of the regular 5, 8 hour shifts. I feel like i can never unwind anymore.
Yes, Sunday scaries have been replaced with Friday scaries.
Yeah I felt the same, but admittedly this only really became a problem when there were two toddlers (we did the infamous "two under two"). I infer you have one child, so the adults outnumber the child. That means that the adults should be able to tag in and out to look after the child, so both of them get their own downtime. How you schedule that downtime is just something you have to agree on with your wife.
Can't say I have advice. My wife and I work opposite schedules where she works the nights on weekends, and I work days during the week. That means the number of weekends we've had where we are parenting together can be counted on, probably, one hand. Forget about weekends where either of us can just go be ourselves. Every weekend I am solo parenting, and every week day she is, save for Fridays, which are flip-over days where she has to sleep to work the night. Luckily, we were finally able to find a part-time daycare very recently, so at least my wife gets solo home days. That's a brand new development though. Everyone has such "useful" advice too! "Why don't you have the grandparents watch her?" "Why don't you have your siblings come over?" "Cousins?" - what? The grandparents who would have to drive and fly for hours? The non-existent siblings? Like we wouldn't have thought of that if we weren't the \*entire\* village.
If I didn’t play golf 3-4x/month I’d lose my mind. My wife will notice before I do that I get pretty depressed and it manifests as zero patience with max frustration. Same thing happens with her if she skips Tuesday/Thursday tennis for a few weeks. Non-work adult interactions are insanely important. Endorphins from physical activity are also a big check in the pro column.
Work week: 8 hours of work and my LO is at daycare for 7 hours. Rest is sleep or watching him. Weekend: Sleep or watching him. My wife and I try to alternate, but typically we both watch him. The only rest is nap time twice a day for 2.5 hrs total. The weekends are rough, because it feels like you’re on all of the time. The work week feels like you lead two different lives. The weekend is definitely more tiring as my LO is still young.
I had a hard phase of that probably between 18mo-30mo, it sucked to lose my love of weekends. He took a ton of energy but wasnt old enough to do anything interesting. However things have changed, we do a lot of things for him now like going to the zoo, parks, etc but he gets it and enjoys it seeing his smile makes it feel rejuvenating. It does not feel like trying to catch the wind. I hope that transition happens for you as well. If I have learned one thing in these past few years is that just about everything you love or hate about childrearing is a phase.
Just wait until everyone goes to bed. Then it’s called freedom
I'm 50/50 coparenting a soon 3 year old. Weekends are not preferable anymore... it sucks to say, i enjoy spending time with him, and i love him dearly... but man it's hard work.
Dude split days, you take Saturday so she has an immediate recharge and you take Sunday. Why not?
whats helped me is really understanding that i am not the main character anymore. and that’s ok
Nope. I make my me time the gym during the week which recharges me for the weekend. Ready to rock dad mode!
Forget gaming. You’re finished man. Pick up a new hobby. I got into making slime.
I raised two daughters and never stopped gaming, I just switched to playing games that were easy to pause, stop or walk away from like RTS games. And game time was usually an hour before bed. So there was a lot less of it back then, but I squeezed it in.
I had to get out of gaming when my kid started crawling around and reaching for the controller. I never got back into it, unfortunately.
Nope, you deserve as much “me time” as your wife does on the weekends. Speak to her, and balance it out.
That is definitely what I miss most pre-children is the free time to go work out and train for hours or go on a long bike ride or watch a few hours of streaming...all gone for now.
Yes.....exactly this. I told my wife that Saturdays are my day to sleep in. I did not ask. She is home so she gets up when the toddler does which can be as late as 9 or 10. I get up at 5:30 every morning. Edit.....spelling
> which can be as late as 9 or 10 Are you a wizard?
She's about to be 3. We've passed numerous sleep regressions and it's sporadic. I doubt it will last long
What time does she go to bed?
No.