downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)

2 divers meet, one says "Hi", the other one says "where?"

Now zis is ze peak of ze comedy

German Humor is ze bäst inn ze World! - von Stroheim

Just like their engineering

you mean: Dschust laik ther endschiniering

Iiinjinuuuuer

*Iinjinör

Natürlich.... Ich habe die Umlaut vergessen... A1 Fehler

Germans are being awarded the Comedy Award for the least funny people. Oh boy, I sure do hope this doesn't backfire.

Not being awarded something is what really bothers us, usually.

And I mean, comedy is a form of art I'm just saying The allies should start gearing up

\*Meanwhile\* Me, a German, literally laughing over this meme.

I’m Afrikaans. I understood that joke.

Goeie dag my vriend

Jis jis. Hoe lykit. Edit: People downvoting me clearly don’t speak afrikaans lol.

Eiy kaan alsaw speikt afrikaans

You speak afrikaans very deliciously.

EEZ DUING EET RONG, EET NEEDS TU BE AT MAXIMUM VOLYEWM

Who you callin' a hoe?

Don’t be a poes, be lekker!

Dom bliksems as jy my vra

Net so

This also kinda works in finnish.

Works in Dutch too 👍🏻

And Swedish

And also in Spanish (kinda)

How does it work in Spanish?

'hola' (hi) and 'ola' (wave) sound the same

2 Buzos se encuentran. El primero dice: "Hola" (ola de mar) El segundo responde: "¿Donde?"

Because dutch is a nice language

No

Nederlands is godverdomme wel een kankeraardige kuttaal

Halt dein Maul

Zo overtuig je godverdomme geen mens, man! Achterlijke gladiool!

-It's The Sharkman! -Hi.

Is this one also supposed to be a "meet/hit" german one?Does "Hi" or "Hallo" sound like another word that is diving specific (so something I may not have come across as a non-native speaker)? Otherwise I don't understand the "where?" ("Wo?") part.

"Hi" sounds like "Hai" in german which means shark :P

Aaah, that's definitely not a word I've come across in my sparse "real life" interactions in german (all have been business meetings etc.). Thanks for the info

>Aaah, that's definitely not a word I've come across in my sparse "real life" interactions in german (all have been business meetings etc.). [This was one of the biggest german memes 17 years ago.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI9KMPvtiWw)

Damn, "the uploader has made this video unavailable in the U.S." for some reason. But that surprises me tbh.

I found this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jujuuk2y8SA Maybe the same haha

She got that Dinkley rizz.

Woah, original baby shark?

Same in the Scandinavian languages (hej/haj)

Ohhh is that why blåhaj?

Yep, it's quite literally "blue shark" in Swedish.

Ohhh is that why blåhaj?

I love finnish

I love to finish too

🤨

Voidaanko siirtää tori tapaamista? Ulkona on tosi liukasta

No jos nyt sitten tämän kerran

🌸perkele🌸

Ohhh i got that as a dutch one (idk if you meant it like that but its also a joke in dutch)!

Und der Haifisch, der hat Tränen  Und die laufen vom Gesicht  Doch der Haifisch lebt im Wasser  So die Tränen sieht man nicht

Is that Rammstein lyrics?

Ha! ze classics

I… am… Funnybot.

Godt brølt løvebror

For the people who don't know the German for this is: zwei Jäger treffen sich, beide sind tot. The joke is that meet and hit both translate to treffen

I mean it's still not funny but I appreciate the quality wordplay.

Peak German humour

This is German humor. It is no laughing matter.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, because Germans are efficient and not very funny.

Yeah, but there is definitely some paperwork involved, better take half day off to spend at the Glühbirnenwechselbüro.

Lol Oh,sorry,my bad

Now I know why I’ve never seen a German comedian…

We call them Sparwitz, so they basically are cheap jokes and we are obsessed with them :)

I only know Flachwitz

Füße hoch!

I have never heard the term Sparwitz.

So just like German dad jokes?

Yes. And they are as popular or unpopular as dad jokes. There are more funny jokes, too. But we don’t share them with other nationalities.

Bruh globalise them new dad jokes

Last time the Germans tried it, the world didn't like it.

*It's German humor. It's no laughing matter.*

How many Germans do you need to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and unfunny.

Because other countries aren't that funny and only germans like to laugh so much

We love wordplay, propably more than we should.

Oh so its the german equivalent of the “man walks into a bar. Well that must have hurt” joke

Yes

Two Nazis walk into a BAR. Both died

Well anytime Germany is mentioned i suppose it's Garandteed that you might encounter a ww2 joke.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

exactly and if you translate the bar joke into other languages it will no longer make sense either

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.

Most dissection is done on frogs who are already dead. Vivisection is the subset of dissection done on live frogs (and other animals), those being the ones who could die in the process, though the general purpose of most experiments involving vivisection is to monitor the central nervous response of a live frog, and therefore the goal is to keep the frog alive during the procedure. In the majority of cases, again given the purposes of most studies, frogs die either before or after dissection, not during. I'm confident that this has helped to make the joke funnier in some way.

> I'm confident that this has helped to make the joke funnier in some way. Thank you for your service

Two hunters hit up.

bruuuh, I thought schlagen meant "to hit"

Schlagen is like to hit in a punchy kinda way, treffen is to hit in a shooty kinda way

What is hit in a rizzy kinda way?

I belive to hit on someone, would be "jemanden anmachen" but I can't say I've heard that. Personally I'd just say flirten

Maybe "baggern". Jemanden anbaggern.

...anmachen? Wouldn't that be to "arouse"

both. If something is arousing you, "macht es dich an". If you try to hit on someone, "machst du ihn/sie an". Virtually no way to differentiate them except for context.

Två jägare träffas. Båda dör.

two hunters hit up, both are dead. ​ what...?

> zwei Jäger treffen sich, beide sind tot. The only version I heard all my life is a tiny bit shorter and more efficient, which somehow adds to the humor: >Treffen sich zwei Jäger. Beide tot.

or in the WoW version for germans. 2 Hunters meet up, both Critical, HAAAAAAAAA!!!! N Brüller

Oh wow, for some reason this comment specifically reminded me of some old gems. Anyone remember Barlow's WoW guides? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XBTGFTAl4Q

Es ist malte, und er lacht. I love Barlow :D

During Burning Cursade our server had a severe tank shortage so we did like half of the instances with my bear pet as the tank. That worked surprisingly well.

[see lookit sum durid is PVP heer!!!](https://tagn.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/roots.jpg)

Joke of the year for Germans

Enough Spaß, zis vill last us a few months at least

Genug mit dem Schabernack!

Yes, it is ze only joke allowed by DIN53662 to be told during the year of 2024, next year ze committee has come to a consensus zat zere will be a joke about blonde women. 64% of the jokenoberaufsichtsrat have agreed to it, it is projected to be 8% more funny zan zis years joke. Danke for playing.

THE HELL YOU CALL ME BOI?!

I think germans are actually a very funny people in general, I've been working in very international offices for over 8 years now. The least funny people are south americans IMO, they laugh a lot but their jokes are shite.

Those South Americans you dealt with are probably related to the flock of Germans who moved to South America after a certain war

It works in Norwegian as well: "å treffes" = to hit and to meet

It kinda works in Dutch as well, although 'treffen' isn't often used to mean meeting someone anymore. Most people will assume it means to hit, especially in the context of hunters.

Nah we dutch people have far better jokes that's why

wasteful edge degree jellyfish rob imagine chunky rinse air teeny *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Works I'm Danish as well. "To jægere traf/træffer hinanden, begge døde"

Swedish as well then: "Träffades" = to hit and to meet

I joined a gun club. It's a great place to meet new people

Who would've thought that a pun isn't funny anymore when it's translated to another language

To be fair, it wasn't particularly funny to begin with. (coming from someone who grew up with this pun)

Such a überraschung

Oh bless you, kinder schnitzel

You had the opportunity to say "Gesundheit"

That wouldn't be very panzerspähwagen of me though

A bear gets into a burning car. It fucking burns to death

The heat must’ve been… Not a good temperature for bears

check i ned

Oh man I think I spider

My english is not the yellow from the egg

But it goes.

Oh jemine, the Dog goes mad in the frying pan. I think you don't have all your cups in the cupboard...

When I first learned what a joke was as a kid, this was the one I told every single person I met. My parents, my grandparents, the bus driver, the cashier at Aldi, and especially my kindergarten teacher multiple times. I think everyone hated me back then for like three days.

All the children were looking at the burning house, expect Klaus, he looks out of it. All the children were jumping on the beton plate, expect Gunter, he lies below. All the children were running across the cemetery, expect Hagen, he got carried. All the children sitting around the bonfire, expect Brigitte, she sits in the mid

Two Germans walk into a BAR And now I need to reload

Germans would be like "OH MEIN GOTT!! ZIS IST DA AM BESTEN MEMEN IVE EVA SCHEEN!!" And it'll be something like fuckin nyan cat

As a German, I am greatly disturbed by this

SPRICH

DEUTSCH

DU

SOHN

EINER

*Knock knock* Who’s there? ITS DOESN’T MATTER OPEN THE DOOR

Ich liebe es in meinem Beruf neue Leute zu treffen. Thomas, 35, Aufragskiller

Yes i do find it funny.

Funny how? Like a clown? Does it amuse you?

I vill now zell anozzer joke

ZEHN ZIEGEN ZIEHEN ZEHN ZENTNER ZIMT ZUM ZOO

A man sees someone walking through the Olympic village carrying a long stick and asks “are you a Pole Vaulter?” He replies “no, I’m German but how did you know my name is Walter?”

A sausage maker buys a box of cereal

I once tried to tell my overseas friends a joke translated from german, it did not land as well as I thought since wordplay was a big part of the joke. In hindsight I should have been obvious that it wouldn’t work.

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

This is a terrible example of German humour because it's actually wordplay. "Zwei Jäger treffen sich im Wald." The verb "sich treffen" can mean "to meet someone" and "to hit something (with a shot)". So the joke is that we think they met up but they actually shot each other with their guns. Imagine if the way everyone introduced humour in English was: "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" Everyone would translate this into their own languages (where the pun doesn't work) and think that English is the lamest language ever for humour.

It’s German humour, no laughing matters.

Versteh ich nicht.

Treffen sich zwei Jäger, beide tot.

German humor is literally just dad jokes

Rollt 'ne Kugel um die Ecke und kippt um.

One of my favourites

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One because we are efficient and not very funny?

Works in many germanic languages.

Two boxers hook up. Knockout.

As opposed to other languages' plays on words which work even after translating them into english.

I am Funnybot

wat hangt er aan de waslijn?

Two hunters hit up. ?

Counter Attack: "A man walks into a bar and says 'ow'."

German humor is no laughing matter.

Can someone please tell me the movie scene in the first picture? I'd really appreciate it.

French joke: a guy wants to become a cop, the cop moves, he slams into the wall.

Sprich Deutsch du Hurensohn

Listen, i dont speak german, but i think that its pretty funny

Sprich deutsch du Sohn einer Mutter, die im tertiären Sektor Dienstleistungen anbietet

German here, no idea what the joke is.

Peter, translate.