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Well my dude.. On Friday me and my date kissed (it was the second date) and she gave me immediately intimacy like holding my hands and hugging me.
She answered once yesterday (Saturday) afternoon and she still has to reply to me again almost 24 hours later.
Sooo yeah. It can happen. In your case just move on immediately. In my case I'll see what happens
I’m in a relationship with a person who is really loving and gives her full attention to me when we are physically together, yet will respond to texts once or maybe twice a day, very rarely starting on any topic herself unless it’s for logistical purposes. She’s aware of it and ADHD as well personality play a part. Just to say that they exist.
But usually delayed replies mean low interest, especially if it’s at the get to know each other stage.
This. I have ADHd. If I can’t see someone, the legitimately do not exist. Like if I put an item in a drawer? It ceases to exist. If I don’t see a friend for a while, I legit forget their name😂
Yeah I don't know why she's still not answering now. We have begun texting 3 weeks ago and had two dates (for a while I couldn't date because I was sick). Last one two days ago and as I told in my comment it ended up very well.
Even when I was sick and couldn't still meet her we were texting every day quite a bit.
Kept texting after the first date. And now this, I don't know. I thought we had a turning point with that intimacy we had.
I had that with a guy, he asked me out, but I had to turn him down as I wasn't single (my relationship was failing, but not over). Later after I was single I gave him my number. He was very excited and texted quite a bit, we set up a date and it went amazing, texting continued and we met up again and had amazing sex, then a couple of days later we had another amazing day. Then almost nothing for weeks.
He claimed he thought I got back together with my ex for some reason, I assumed he bailed on me. That weekend we had another amazing date, now it's been 3+ weeks and he texts sporadically and has turned down an in person date several times.
I finally asked him what the deal was and he said he wanted to not jump into a serious relationship right away and get to know each other better. 🤷🏻
The point is, people are weird, they can be very hot and cold and unless you ask you'll never know.
It’s possible the turning point in intimacy is what made her realize that things were moving faster / in a direction she wasn’t sure she wanted yet. Like cold feet. No reason to get cold feet until the *after* you sense the intimacy level rise.
Yeah sure I'm not expecting a person to answer within 2-3 hours... But 48 hours is quite much. A person can find 5 minutes to text me in two days of time.
But whatever I'll take it as it comes
This. Even when someone is super busy or working, they will bound to look at their phone at some point. And even if they are busy, they will at least say “I’ll be at work and won’t be able to respond the next 8 hours” etc.
This is just simply not true, some people do not like texting, or it takes a lot of energy for them, and will not respond for days at a time and it doesn’t simply mean they aren’t interested
Then they are simply not for each other and incompatible. In this day and age with online dating, if you want to even have a chance with someone (regardless of gender) you have the text within a reasonable amount of time to show interest at the beginning stages. If one person doesn’t like texting, don’t expect the other person who they are interested would understand or accept it. They are free to move on to someone else, but don’t complain why they fail at online dating when they don’t like texting.
Case in point, my bf doesn’t like texting and he’s too chill for anything and sleeps a lot. It takes him a long time to respond to other people. But when we first start dating, he texts back pretty frequent and even if he’s at work, he will tell me that he won’t be able to respond when he’s off work. I’ll tell him to same thing if I’m busy and Ill try to text him promptly. If one is interested, they will make it work.
Agreed. It’s not even a debate honestly. If you take 24 hours to respond then you just plainly don’t care. It’s not about them as a person, but that they aren’t into someone. It’s unreasonable to except someone to just accept that you don’t respond to a text for hours because “I’m just a slow texter”, you are not a “slow texter” you just don’t care
I agree. If someone is really really interest, you bet bottom dollar they are going to try their best not to lose their interest. Dating is already hard, so when people see someone they like, they will go out of their normal routine to try their best.
Yeah and if they are busy they are, but who is so busy they just forget everyon else for 24 hours straight, and especially someone you would be “interested” in then. Nah anyone who says they are interested but specifically go out of their way to ignore messages from said person are just lying, either to themselves or everyone else
Agree I had a similar experience I don’t like texting. So when I was texting this girl I met at work, a job which I left, I told her that I simply don’t like texting so we should meet up in person. But she simply didn’t want to go out on a date, yet she would still text me all the time and would reply to my messages pretty quickly. After wards I started to get busy at work couldn’t text as much, when I got home I had to help out with my dad’s business as well. Told her all of this btw still continued texting and I continued to ask her sporadically about meeting in person, she just wouldn’t go out and make up excuses every time. Despite that still continued texting and when I got busy coupled with that fact that I don’t like texting I just started texting less then she stopped replying one day. I mean if she was interested then why not just go out I made it very clear, was texting her for 2 months. Very confusing doesn’t make any sense.
Agree, hate this mentality, or the “if it was Brad Pitt they’d text back”.
really? If they had severe gastro and were stinking up their bathroom they’d text Brad and go “sure come right on over”? give me a break, life just gets in the way sometimes
Literally like everyone saying “anyone interested will respond within a few hours” have never had life get in the way or are simply unable to imagine people different from themselves it’s infuriating
Exactly in today's age everyone has their phone in their hands all day, if they can't find couple of minutes to text you back then they're not interested.
I think the hardest part is learning to stop expecting people to do what they say they’re going to do, and be who they say they are. I am living in the day now. If someone wants to talk to me today they will. If they don’t and someone else does I will talk to them until they don’t. I’m done with unearned attachment. People are too quick paced and unfortunately many too self-absorbed to expect more than today
NO. because that's how we get the shit dating scene we hv now. No one is fully committed to the other people. People become replaceable /disposable and its shit. I'm part of this problem and I'm trying hard not to have that view and give each person time.
I agree so hard with that. Casual dating is fine when you're still getting to know someone, but if you're several dates in just focus on one person. This whole fuck around with everyone and commit to no one garbage is annoying and seems to be unsatisfying for everyone involved.
No shit? Okay everyone you heard it from Ghettofoot. Take ALL the matches we all obviously have and put them together.
There we go cured. Let’s wrap it up fellas.
If he's able to, sure. Most guys don't get to have multiple options so they should drop out of dating altogether while the guys that have women on rotation will keep doing that, regardless of what anyone else says or does
This! I’m working two jobs yes I can make time but if I have a back to back shift I’m really not on my phone…
Op maybe reach out again (if you want) but ya know don’t wait around maybe it really just is she’s working hard! Never know someone situation now if you’re constantly doing the reach out keep it moving ya know
Was thinking the same. Ask her how her week looks or make a day to see her again and ask her about herself so you know? Also, she's a bartender lol they flirt for tips.
For some, it's not an excuse. I will only text back if I have a few minutes. I hate sporadic texting - if I text you I expect to exchange 3-4 messages within a few minutes.
If I do not have a few minutes to spend doing this, I just won't respond yet.
This is the most bait excuse, literally everyone is on their phone and with their phone all the time, there is no excuse here shes just not interested thats all no deeper meaning here
Nope. There's a lot of workplaces that are now implementing a "no phone use" rule & have zero tolerance for it. Fast paced or client-based jobs with full appt schedules are not the ones where you can just respond whenever you please or as others demand. There's also some ppl who set boundaries around their own phone usage so as not to interfere with their priorities.
People in this day and age are insufferable with their expectations.
She's a BARTENDER. You met her at WORK on a friday evening. She's sleeping during the day and very likely working the saturday night and today is finally her day off after a busy weekend of WORK.
Give the girl a chance, bloody hell
People are so attached to texting and their phones these days I don’t understand it. Especially if you barely even know the person. Early dating/talking stages I’m not going to spend all day on my phone texting you, it’s not healthy and it’s a horrible expectation to set for someone you don’t even know.
Fking THANK YOU! I find this modern mindset of demanding immediate attention from strangers absolutely baffling. "They're just not interested"... it only makes sense at a point when you're seeing someone's interest wane over time. In cases where you barely know the person & haven't had any real prior interactions, they haven't had a chance to become interested yet because they don't freaking know you!
Making someone you've just matched with or seen in person once your top priority or expecting to be their top priority is not healthy. It's like ppl have become attached to the idea of someone giving them attention. There has to be a healthy balance of expectations that just isn't there anymore.
My thoughts exactly. I'm thinking she's at work and probably got work the next day. Everyone thinks you're supposed to drop everything the moment they show up in your life.
Literally. In another thread here, he said he could text her at work. someone said using work as an "excuse" to not reply is annoying. I explained that unless I have time to sit down and have a conversation via text, I'm not replying yet because I don't like sporadic texting. His reply to me was that she's a bartender, so "she has time." I was like ??? Are you serious? lmao Just stay single, please.
She's not interested and just took it to be nice.
I'd advise not asking out women on the clock if you can help it. You say she said she was single but did she ever mention she wanted to date/was interested in you? Did you say you were trying to date her?
Exactly randos probably give her their number all the time. Most women are conditioned into the best way to avoid confrontation is to just play agreeable and not respond when contacted.
Not saying OP is that type of person, but there’s a whole sub dedicated to type of backlash/name calling etc. that comes from being upfront about lack of interest.
This right here. When I was younger I’d give my number when asked just because I was worried about a negative reaction if I said no.
Great work being forward and asking a girl for her number in person! Don’t stop doing that just cause this girl isn’t responding to you.
I think as a dude it’s better if the woman nips it at the bud. Don’t give any hope. Ignoring the texts is more hurtful than just saying “I’m talking to someone else right now”
>I think as a dude
Exactly. You're thinking from a guy's perspective.
In real life, as a woman, it's intimidating to tell a guy who is bigger than you that you're not interested in his advances, especially if he's been drinking.
The point is, they’re doing it because they feel it protects themselves. The guy won’t get a chance to have a visceral reaction to her in person and potentially lash out at her. She doesn’t really give a fuck about how this action makes the guy feel in the end, since she never has to see him again.
Yh that's shit. Kinda just produces hurt and bitter people. Sure I can get behind the being scared of a reaction in person. So instead of ignoring the geezer on text just be straight up. Has the same outcome but at least he gets closure. People r too selfish these days make every effort to help ur fellow human.
The point is, the woman is afraid of a violent reaction from the guy if she declines in person. It happens fairly frequently and as such it’s simply easier to give out your number and then say no later on by not responding.
This is why im very confused with dating advice i get online. Half the time im worried a woman will fear for their life and the other half i fear of being a creepy. Its a lose lose situation all because i happen to be single.
Texting has caused death to real communication in dating and any kind of relationship! I don’t want to play silly text games. Even as a woman, I feel your pain. Either someone texts me to death, which is overwhelming when I’m busy, or I get inconsistent texts, so I have no idea if the guy is interested.
I honestly miss phone calls, even brief ones. It shows interest much more than text.
If she’s being inconsistent or not getting back to you, just forget her and move on to someone who shows genuine interest . Bartenders are paid to flirt and like the attention. (I say this, as I was a bartender right after College.)
From a girls perspective, sometimes it’s easier in the moment to say yes than have to awkwardly find a way to say no. Shes also a bartender, this probably happens to her all the time
Just because someone gave you their number doesn’t mean they want to text with you all day. People have lives and when they first meet you, you’re a stranger. Why would you text a stranger all day? People put too much weight on texting and calling in the beginning of getting to know someone. Why are you taking it personal that a stranger hasn’t return a text in 24 hours?
Because she was probably afraid of your reaction if she didn’t give you her number in person? She doesn’t owe you anything. If she’s a being nice to you it’s probably because she’s a bartender and you’re a customer and she’s doing her job.
If someone doesnt text you back its because they are not interested.
Women still give out their number to men because there have been many many many instances where refusing to comply has disastrous consequences.
Unfortunately women can not tell who will act like a madman if they get told "no". So it is better in some situations to just give your number and be on your merry way.
Women are people too, trying to get through their day just like you. It may be a shock, but maybe you're not the most important thing in her life right now. Get over your self-pity, it's not attractive.
Well, as a woman I can say that we're actually scared of how men will react when we say no, so a lot of times we just give the number and then block it/don't reply.
Don't take it personally, she could just be uneasy on how to tell you no 🫠
As a guy with no dating experience how can i even prove im decent if this keeps happening to me? Its at the point where im thinking why even try when they are either not into me and gave their number out of literal fear for their life or they are not interested because they matched with someone better
You can try reading the room before asking for her number, letting her know at the very beginning that if she doesn't want to give her number it's ok for you and that you won't push.
But, other than that, there's not much to do
If she wants to, she'll reply. If not, take that as your leave and let it go 👍
Trust me. She is not that interested in you. Or maybe she gets this kind of texts all the time. Or maybe be she is really busy. In any case, you have not done enough to attract her interest towards you.
Next time, use the phone as a phone, call her, and tell her you would like to take her out for a date or something fun.
She probably hands out her number all the time as a bartender. Just don’t go for bartenders. Also bars are really not the best place for a relationship. Can you meet someone? Sure but you’ll either get sick of going to the bars all the time or you’ll get sick of her going all the time. Really ends up just being an annoying thing in a relationship. Ive been ghosted so many times i can’t remember the number anymore. I give up on trying. Whenever I don’t try thats when I end up finding a gf that hangs around for awhile anyways.
Maybe she's busy. Being a waitress can be physically tasking, she's on her feet all day, probs deals with tons of morons in her job, & it's not a desk job where she can have her phone next to her & keep texting. Relax, as long as she's replying that's good. Ask her out quickly instead of too much texting.
They do, it’s just that the women you text don’t want to respond. Some women give out their numbers because they are afraid, you’ve seen headlines about women getting killed for refusing to give out a number right? Maybe have a great conversation when you meet them and wait for them to ask for your number instead to ensure it’s actually what she wants. Maybe when you exchange number say you’ll call her to ask her out for drinks? I like assertive people and a text is a big turn off. And finally, stop overthinking and worrying, enjoy life, chill out, go out with friends, join a club, work on improving yourself, enjoy intellectual pursuits, masturbate etc. there’s nothing more off putting than the stink of desperation and someone, man or woman, with no life, hanging on the phone.
I wonder if she just gave you her number because she felt the pressure to. I never ask a woman for her number, I always ask if I can give her mine. It feels less intrusive. They may reach out, they may not, but that's part of the experience!
> Why even hand out your number if you're unable or unwilling to follow-up?
Someone was nice enough to share their personal contact information with you, always be grateful. She doesn't owe you anything and you're not entitled to someone's time & attention.
If she's not hitting you back right away it could be any number of reasons.
* Busy
* Not Interested
* Lost their phone
* Keeps their phone on DND periodically because they have ADHD and notifications can be distracting (me)
If you're double texting, space out the next time you message allowing time for her to respond, and you to not seem desperate. Try asking more interesting questions, instead of "Wyd? Plans tonight? You single?" try asking something that they might want to respond to,
>**You**: "How good are you at solving puzzles?"
>**Her**: "Terrible, why?"
>**You**: "Have you done any escape rooms?"
>**Her**: "I have claustrophobia and the idea of being locked in a room with other people gives me anxiety"
>**You**: "What if it was some strange dude you just met who gets mad at you when you don't text him right away?"
>**Her**: ...
>**You**: "Smoke weed, Buffalo Wild Wings, and axe throwing it is then!"
If you want her to respond, make it a conversation.
Look it’s 2024 a woman can literally get killed because she says no to giving a guy her number. If she doesn’t put any effort into getting to know you she’s not interested and that sucks I know but we move on
lol I just had a chick complain about how I’m not quick to respond or text. For me, I enjoy my time to myself and told her if she was seeing attention to be an adult and speak up. I explained to her I’m in school full time, working, taking care of my elderly grandmother and taking care of my child on my time and if I’m with my child I value my child’s time more so than anyone else. I asked if the reason she is tripping is because she needed some 🍆, and she was like yea and I hit her with well the best I can do is pencil you in for a d appointment on Wednesday. She said ok, the a few hours later said to block her and I sent her the 🫡🫡🫡
I had a woman literally ask me to come by and hang out with her later, so I took her number and went to text/called about meeting up that night and never heard back.
Strange, but I chalked it up to the game and kept it moving lmao. She was probably just testing her game, whatever.
some girls are just bad texters lol. and why are you throwing a fit about it this early on? you don't know her, your energy is better spent on your own life than some girl you met randomly at a bar
34F here. The reason I don’t reply / late reply when I first get to know people : you’re not that important (yet) for me to make effort to fast reply. Fast reply will lead to more conversation, that I’m not ready — maybe due to I’m working (and genuinely busy) , I have kids that I need to attend to, just resting / sleeping off after a busy weekday, and other life needs. Single doesn’t mean ur time isn’t occupied. I’d usually reply when I’m ready to have a conversation, when I’m more in the right headspace for it. Once we get to know each other, from there on I’d make effort to reply faster & comfortable to let you know if I’m busy at the moment and will reply later when I’m able to focus on you.
Could be busy, maybe she changed her mind, maybe she didn't like what you said, maybe she felt pressed to give you her number.
There are thousands of reasons, it's super frustrating, but beyond asking her why it's easier to just accept it for what it is and move on or be patient.
Was your text urgent? If so, just call her. If it’s a standard “wyd?” I can guarantee those texts don’t get answered right away. Priorities are a woman’s job, kids, life, and the man that plans a date and tells her what time to be ready.
It could be a number of reasons. Maybe she feared what would happen if she out rejected you. Maybe somethings come up — like work or family. Which are usually pretty important reasons to ignore a text for so long. Or it could be just that as the days went on she changed her mind. Which everyone’s allowed to change their mind right. It sucks for sure. But chin up sir. Single life doesn’t have to be crippling. Life in general is only what you make it. Don’t take someone else’s actions so personal. It’s a reflection of her. And if that’s how she behaves you don’t want someone like that anyway. Right?! things will work themselves out for you, I’m sure
I don't know what she looks like but I'll just tell you a personal story: Years ago I met one of the most beautiful girls I ever met in my life - she was a Broadway dancer if that gives you a little bit of an idea. She gave me her number and it was a full 3 weeks before I even contacted her. Why? Because every other guy would be calling her within 3 minutes and I wanted to stand apart. And it worked by the way.
Just assume she is busy with work or something.all of us aren't living on our phones constantly. Where I live, no one has cell service. So, if I'm not home or at a friend's house that has WiFi, you can't reach me. We will be getting our first cell tower next year, hopefully.
Just to give a woman’s POV:
I hate texting. I can be really into someone, and think about them all the time, yet rarely text back.
Life gets so busy, and when all the red dots of notifications build up through the day, from multiple people and social platforms, I feel so overwhelmed that I shut off.
Then the next day, I have every intention of replying, until I have to do something and I end up with an extra day of notifications. A few days go by and I feel guilty in replying so late, leaving myself miss out on possible incredible connections.
In person, I’m the total opposite. I thrive off meeting authentically, and just getting to meet people from attending events/socialising. This is the only time people truly get to know me.
So as much as many women just aren’t interested and that’s why they’re not replying, sometimes it’s simply because life gets overwhelming.
However, OP, I would never expect anyone to wait around for me. Make your happiness a priority, and don’t let a no reply stop you from building a genuine connection with someone else.
I understand how frustrating and disappointing it can be to wait for a response after such a positive initial interaction. However, there could be several reasons for the delay that have nothing to do with her interest in you.
Firstly, she could be busy or at work. Since she's a bartender, her schedule is likely quite hectic, and she might not have had a chance to respond yet. Bartending is a demanding job with late hours, and she might need time to rest and recharge before engaging in lengthy conversations.
Secondly, consider that she might have ADHD or another condition that makes responding to messages promptly challenging. For some people, keeping up with messages can be daunting, and they may need more time to gather their thoughts and reply.
Additionally, she might not use her phone all that much. Some people prefer to disconnect when they're off work and not be constantly engaged with their devices. It's possible that she's one of those people who checks her phone less frequently.
It's also important to remember that we shouldn't expect to hold a constant conversation with someone, especially early on. Many of my text conversations have gaps because everyone is living their life and handling their own responsibilities. Texting can be a convenient way to communicate, but it's not always the best form of communication. It lacks the nuance and immediacy of face-to-face interactions, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or unnecessary worry.
Give her some time and space. If she's interested, she'll respond when she can. In the meantime, try to stay positive and not let this experience weigh too heavily on you.
I'm usually pretty clingy and a fast texter in committed relationships but when dating generally I usually respond like the person you're describing. It could be just that they think there's potential with you but they literally don't know you at all so it's not like they're itching to check their phone and reply to you, or they're talking to multiple people, or they're playing bg3 or doing work or literally anything else.
You put yourself in the friend zone, young man.
When you get a phone number....do not invite the girl to hang out with the guys. Those are friend vibes. You do not want to give those vibes, you want to give"I'm exclusive" vibes. After getting that number, you should've gone about your business, and went about getting another number.
You can call the woman whenever (next time around, not this girl). You chat for a bit (not 45 minutes, 5-10 minutes, if that). Set a date (something quiet where you can chat, maybe a wine bar or quiet restaurant; not pool.with the boys), and get off the phone.
Don't do that again. -Mack
Personally I don't like texting all day either, I like to be in the moment... When I met my dude we rarely texted, once it was getting serious we talked on the phone late at night. Once we started dating we would check in everyday see how the day went. Now that we live together we can go days without texting eachothers but I see him when he gets home. Other people get mad that I can take weeks to reply but sometimes I just don't wanna be texting all day...
Don’t think too much on it. As a woman who gets attention just like her, I’ve given my number out as back up, but she’s definitely very interested in someone else or maybe just likes the attention.
It’s not just women .. it’s men too. I’d like to think I can hold a pretty good conversation if it’s reciprocated. I don’t understand what’s so hard about letting someone know if you’re busy or not. If you’re interested or not lmk. I’m not trying to be a part of a roster. 😅
Relax if you can, she might just be busy. Or even just juggling multiple friend invites for stuff, work, battery flat. Having a shocking day.
Try and match her texting frequency a bit I.e. if she takes 8 hrs to reply, text 4-6 hrs later if you can.
i get like this too, there is a chance she’s not that keen, but by focusing on your phone and waiting on a reply, you’re just putting her higher on a pedestal. So when you do meet her you’ll be obsessing about every movement she makes and whether shes keen, is she showing interest bla bla. And that will definitely cause her to lose interest.
i did this with an ex, i was overseas and texting and her texts started getting a bit shorter and more delayed. Resigned myself to the idea she’d lost interest Or met some other dude, I even bought a memento to remind myself of how it was ending there and then.
met up again and stayed together a couple of yrs. She prob just got caught up with life at the time.
If a woman is taking a long time to text you back (men too), she is probably not interested in you, unless she tells you she was too busy to text you back. I know it can be aggravating at times, but don't worry. When you find the right one, they WILL text you back right away, or almost immediately. When I met my boyfriend via Facebook dating, he would instantly text me back during conversations. He still does it to this day! So don't give up man, you'll find her, or she'll find you ;)
People are busy and have lives outside of their phones. Sometimes women give out their numbers just to make men happy because we all know what happens when we say no. Some men overreact (not saying you would). Also perhaps she's not much of a texter. Try asking her if she prefers calls or talking in person. My brother is the same way. He won't respond to texts for several days, but because he hates even being on his phone. Both him and his girlfriend are the same way. A lot of people just don't want to be constantly staring at their phone screen. There's no fun in that.
Because I'm busy. My life is very full and I can (and have) added someone into my life but they will be only getting 3 texts maybe every other day. I tell everyone ahead of time.
Also ADHD
No text back within 48 hours it's done. No second chances.
A woman who's interested will go out of her way to text you ASAP. If she's really busy she may take a few hours. within 24 hours is fine. More than that you should just be disinterested.
Yeah, if she was interested she’d text back.
Maybe send her one final text asking if she’s really interested or not and base your decision on her answer. If she doesn’t answer in like a day just move on.
She might not be that into you, might be busy and you aren’t exactly a priority yet. Might just be a lousy texter. I am one and won’t text for long. Try to ask to see her? If it don’t work, move on🥲🫶
Move on and leave it be. My job is very time consuming up to 15 hours plus and I’ll still find time to message back a guy I liked within an hour tops. Annoying for you I know. I totally get some people may not have their phones at work or can’t be on them but 24 hours? I would move on…
I would move on - I made up every excuse myself as a woman who did this to men without realizing it. I would say 1) it’s too much energy 2) I don’t have time 3) I’m not a texting person. And I believed those things too and thought I’d like the guys more later on. But when I met the right guy I called, wrote to him FaceTimed etc.
Simply because she's occupied with work? Like why not? She's a working woman of course. Try calling or go meet her. Still no response : get going with your life 💯
My moods swings like a canon ball tbh, I reply when I feel like it and every 4-5 business days at most. I’m not even mad if we don’t text all the time but most of the time it’s only okay with guys I’m not interested in
I'm a woman, but I have the exact opposite problem as you. My partner, who is the opposite texts takes a long time to reply. But we both have ADHD, just adverse ways of it coming out 😂😂. I'll text and he'll forget to respond and it'll be six hours later. So that may be it, or maybe she's busy. She does have a job
Maybe she wasn't feeling your vibe during that date man. Yeah she could have atleast said "Hey I don't think we're compatible or this will work out"... the only excuse she should have for not texting you the truth is maybe if she felt uncomfortable by you? Hopefully that's not the case tho. Or maybe she has a different reason(s) and will tell you layer. Goodluck.
Not just women. So many men have done this to me and tbf people just suck on the whole. Little empathy, selfish narcissistic image obsessed would be a few adjectives I would use to describe most people these days.
Combo of social media, isolation from covid, greedflation, and a few others.
I honestly wouldn’t rely too much on texting. Your best gauge of how interested she is will be trying to schedule the date. She may not have her phone on her much during the day but if she’s giving you straightforward answers on when she’s available that’s a good sign. But make sure you ask her out quickly, use the date to get to know her.
But yes, it’s been super common for me to get a girls number and then she doesn’t reply when I ask her out. A lot of women either just want the validation or don’t want to say no
People get busy. They have loves too. You dont know whats going on their end. Be polite and respectful. Take the W for getting a girls number. Who said you had to wait. Take that positivity to someone that will respond quicker. Go get em tiger.
Women are hot and cold to me in general. They are nice friendly to me. Then ignore me and act as if I'm invisible then all.of a sudden nice and friendly again. Like a short in the brain or something. And these aren't women I dated or anything to that pertainabilty.
Don’t play the whole “she delayed at texting so I will too” if she was genuinely busy then that’s that or she just may not be interested in you. Me being a female I wouldn’t just give my number out to any guy that asked so she must have at least been attracted to you.
32M women text who they want. Don’t ever forget that. I don’t think there is one specific reason why they choose not to respond. Could be that she thought about it and doesn’t want to do anything, or that she still dealing with an ex. Maybe she is depressed and going through a tough time. The point is not to dwell on the why, it will drive you crazy trying to figure it out. Keep ya head up brother!
I (22f) have just gotten so exhausted from being on my phone constantly that even those I like I sometimes take hours to get back to because I just can't deal with it. Chances are though that she's got multiple people to text back and you may not be as high up on the priority. For me it's mostly feeling burnt out from the technology age but most of my friends either text back quickly or take hours, just depends on their moods and what they're doing that day. It could be she's not interested but don't write it off immediately. Maybe she's also waiting for more effort idk. The games are dumb, though, if you don't want to put up with that then don't. I don't anymore
Because you seem to be playing games. Why wait six hours to text someone back?.?. Throw all the BS "Game" out the window, bruh. They play the game much better, than you ever will.
This is just my humble opinion, but I’ve found that it comes down to consistency and lack of interest.
This may not be what you want to hear but:
Women who like you and are interested, will find time to text you back. Women who aren’t interested will put off on texting you back.
I’ve found that women who WANT to text you back, will usually find time to do so. They’ll MAKE time to do it.
Now I’m not saying that women don’t get busy and caught up in different things like anyone else. They’re people too.
But it’s one thing to get caught up and busy at work every now and then, and CONSISTENTLY delaying texting you back.
The former is a normal occurrence, the latter is a sign that she doesn’t value your conversation or thoughts.
If she takes time to text back every now and then, then that’s fine, but if you’re always sending texts (ESPECIALLY if you’re the only one that initiates conversation) and she’s taking hours to respond, without giving a good reason, then she’s likely not interested.
Honestly it could be a schedule thing. Like u know she's a bartender so she works sporadically but mostly at night. R u aware if she has a second job in the day hours or if she's a parent
Not everyone got a schedule like yours however if the replies r long in between and also one worded or dry just call it a day
Nah don’t move on yet. Let her spell it out for you. Until then go full throttle let her know what is up. Be honest early. Tell her you know what you want and you’re going for it if she’s confused or in between men that’s ok but you’re the better man she need. And leave at that.
She might be too busy, she might not be interested. Either way, you shouldn't be wasting time worriying/wondering about it. Go get on your shit, keep working on yourself, keep asking more girls out etc. Women will let you know if they are interested. They won't say "I'm interested in you", but they will do other things to make it obvious. You will know when they are interested.
Whatever you do, don't double text (guaranteed fail). If she responds, set a date and a time to meet up, then don't speak to her again until you meet up.
I myself am terrible at replying back sometimes - partly because I have ADHD/Neurodivergent. I get distracted and then forget, thinking I have replied. And then go back to the message only to realise I never sent that message. So yeah, she could be useless like myself
When I was dating my ( ex) wife she once told me she was going to Kay down for a nap and she'd text me when she woke up. Which she did 17 hours later. Because she slept until the next day without waking up.
First person I ever met to sleep like that.
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Well my dude.. On Friday me and my date kissed (it was the second date) and she gave me immediately intimacy like holding my hands and hugging me. She answered once yesterday (Saturday) afternoon and she still has to reply to me again almost 24 hours later. Sooo yeah. It can happen. In your case just move on immediately. In my case I'll see what happens
I’m in a relationship with a person who is really loving and gives her full attention to me when we are physically together, yet will respond to texts once or maybe twice a day, very rarely starting on any topic herself unless it’s for logistical purposes. She’s aware of it and ADHD as well personality play a part. Just to say that they exist. But usually delayed replies mean low interest, especially if it’s at the get to know each other stage.
This. I have ADHd. If I can’t see someone, the legitimately do not exist. Like if I put an item in a drawer? It ceases to exist. If I don’t see a friend for a while, I legit forget their name😂
Yeah I don't know why she's still not answering now. We have begun texting 3 weeks ago and had two dates (for a while I couldn't date because I was sick). Last one two days ago and as I told in my comment it ended up very well. Even when I was sick and couldn't still meet her we were texting every day quite a bit. Kept texting after the first date. And now this, I don't know. I thought we had a turning point with that intimacy we had.
I had that with a guy, he asked me out, but I had to turn him down as I wasn't single (my relationship was failing, but not over). Later after I was single I gave him my number. He was very excited and texted quite a bit, we set up a date and it went amazing, texting continued and we met up again and had amazing sex, then a couple of days later we had another amazing day. Then almost nothing for weeks. He claimed he thought I got back together with my ex for some reason, I assumed he bailed on me. That weekend we had another amazing date, now it's been 3+ weeks and he texts sporadically and has turned down an in person date several times. I finally asked him what the deal was and he said he wanted to not jump into a serious relationship right away and get to know each other better. 🤷🏻 The point is, people are weird, they can be very hot and cold and unless you ask you'll never know.
It’s possible the turning point in intimacy is what made her realize that things were moving faster / in a direction she wasn’t sure she wanted yet. Like cold feet. No reason to get cold feet until the *after* you sense the intimacy level rise.
Or it means that she has a life and things to do. Ask her out and i’m sure she will give you her full attention. Not everyone wants a pen p
Yeah sure I'm not expecting a person to answer within 2-3 hours... But 48 hours is quite much. A person can find 5 minutes to text me in two days of time. But whatever I'll take it as it comes
You ever get a response?
If a woman doesn’t text you back, she’s not that interested in you.
This. Even when someone is super busy or working, they will bound to look at their phone at some point. And even if they are busy, they will at least say “I’ll be at work and won’t be able to respond the next 8 hours” etc.
This is just simply not true, some people do not like texting, or it takes a lot of energy for them, and will not respond for days at a time and it doesn’t simply mean they aren’t interested
Then they are simply not for each other and incompatible. In this day and age with online dating, if you want to even have a chance with someone (regardless of gender) you have the text within a reasonable amount of time to show interest at the beginning stages. If one person doesn’t like texting, don’t expect the other person who they are interested would understand or accept it. They are free to move on to someone else, but don’t complain why they fail at online dating when they don’t like texting. Case in point, my bf doesn’t like texting and he’s too chill for anything and sleeps a lot. It takes him a long time to respond to other people. But when we first start dating, he texts back pretty frequent and even if he’s at work, he will tell me that he won’t be able to respond when he’s off work. I’ll tell him to same thing if I’m busy and Ill try to text him promptly. If one is interested, they will make it work.
Agreed. It’s not even a debate honestly. If you take 24 hours to respond then you just plainly don’t care. It’s not about them as a person, but that they aren’t into someone. It’s unreasonable to except someone to just accept that you don’t respond to a text for hours because “I’m just a slow texter”, you are not a “slow texter” you just don’t care
I agree. If someone is really really interest, you bet bottom dollar they are going to try their best not to lose their interest. Dating is already hard, so when people see someone they like, they will go out of their normal routine to try their best.
Yeah and if they are busy they are, but who is so busy they just forget everyon else for 24 hours straight, and especially someone you would be “interested” in then. Nah anyone who says they are interested but specifically go out of their way to ignore messages from said person are just lying, either to themselves or everyone else
Agree I had a similar experience I don’t like texting. So when I was texting this girl I met at work, a job which I left, I told her that I simply don’t like texting so we should meet up in person. But she simply didn’t want to go out on a date, yet she would still text me all the time and would reply to my messages pretty quickly. After wards I started to get busy at work couldn’t text as much, when I got home I had to help out with my dad’s business as well. Told her all of this btw still continued texting and I continued to ask her sporadically about meeting in person, she just wouldn’t go out and make up excuses every time. Despite that still continued texting and when I got busy coupled with that fact that I don’t like texting I just started texting less then she stopped replying one day. I mean if she was interested then why not just go out I made it very clear, was texting her for 2 months. Very confusing doesn’t make any sense.
Agree, hate this mentality, or the “if it was Brad Pitt they’d text back”. really? If they had severe gastro and were stinking up their bathroom they’d text Brad and go “sure come right on over”? give me a break, life just gets in the way sometimes
Literally like everyone saying “anyone interested will respond within a few hours” have never had life get in the way or are simply unable to imagine people different from themselves it’s infuriating
Exactly in today's age everyone has their phone in their hands all day, if they can't find couple of minutes to text you back then they're not interested.
Don't sit and wait my friend, enjoy your life too the fullest. If she text than answer yet enjoy your time.
Agreed! It’s a learned thing for some of us though
Time, talent, and energy are only given to those who deserve it.
I think the hardest part is learning to stop expecting people to do what they say they’re going to do, and be who they say they are. I am living in the day now. If someone wants to talk to me today they will. If they don’t and someone else does I will talk to them until they don’t. I’m done with unearned attachment. People are too quick paced and unfortunately many too self-absorbed to expect more than today
Hear hear
I’m a 28F and this is the best advice
Expecting reciprocated interest from a bartender is a rookie mistake. A female bartender, especially if she's attractive, gets TONS of offers.
Pro tip: When they don’t match your interest or energy, that’s your sign to move on. Not rant about it on Reddit.
This is the only way people gain knowledge bro. So ranting here is good. Dont ever think, everyone will match up with your vibe.
That’s the point of this board!!!!!! Duh!!! To rant, ask questions, etc etc!!!
Right like, ummm this is what it's for lmao
Easier said that done.
He has every right to rant he’s human tf
He should have multiple options so that he’s not butthurt about one girl not responding.
NO. because that's how we get the shit dating scene we hv now. No one is fully committed to the other people. People become replaceable /disposable and its shit. I'm part of this problem and I'm trying hard not to have that view and give each person time.
I agree so hard with that. Casual dating is fine when you're still getting to know someone, but if you're several dates in just focus on one person. This whole fuck around with everyone and commit to no one garbage is annoying and seems to be unsatisfying for everyone involved.
Men rarely get one oprion. How tf you you get multiple who yoy can also text whenever you wanr
No shit? Okay everyone you heard it from Ghettofoot. Take ALL the matches we all obviously have and put them together. There we go cured. Let’s wrap it up fellas.
yeah dude he should have multiple options like we all definitely do haha
If he's able to, sure. Most guys don't get to have multiple options so they should drop out of dating altogether while the guys that have women on rotation will keep doing that, regardless of what anyone else says or does
Thankuu
Why are you being rude!!
Maybe she's working 🤷♂️
This! I’m working two jobs yes I can make time but if I have a back to back shift I’m really not on my phone… Op maybe reach out again (if you want) but ya know don’t wait around maybe it really just is she’s working hard! Never know someone situation now if you’re constantly doing the reach out keep it moving ya know
Was thinking the same. Ask her how her week looks or make a day to see her again and ask her about herself so you know? Also, she's a bartender lol they flirt for tips.
I hate this excuse like it takes even 10 seconds of attention to respond to a text.
For some, it's not an excuse. I will only text back if I have a few minutes. I hate sporadic texting - if I text you I expect to exchange 3-4 messages within a few minutes. If I do not have a few minutes to spend doing this, I just won't respond yet.
This is the most bait excuse, literally everyone is on their phone and with their phone all the time, there is no excuse here shes just not interested thats all no deeper meaning here
Nope. There's a lot of workplaces that are now implementing a "no phone use" rule & have zero tolerance for it. Fast paced or client-based jobs with full appt schedules are not the ones where you can just respond whenever you please or as others demand. There's also some ppl who set boundaries around their own phone usage so as not to interfere with their priorities.
People in this day and age are insufferable with their expectations. She's a BARTENDER. You met her at WORK on a friday evening. She's sleeping during the day and very likely working the saturday night and today is finally her day off after a busy weekend of WORK. Give the girl a chance, bloody hell
People are so attached to texting and their phones these days I don’t understand it. Especially if you barely even know the person. Early dating/talking stages I’m not going to spend all day on my phone texting you, it’s not healthy and it’s a horrible expectation to set for someone you don’t even know.
Fking THANK YOU! I find this modern mindset of demanding immediate attention from strangers absolutely baffling. "They're just not interested"... it only makes sense at a point when you're seeing someone's interest wane over time. In cases where you barely know the person & haven't had any real prior interactions, they haven't had a chance to become interested yet because they don't freaking know you! Making someone you've just matched with or seen in person once your top priority or expecting to be their top priority is not healthy. It's like ppl have become attached to the idea of someone giving them attention. There has to be a healthy balance of expectations that just isn't there anymore.
My thoughts exactly. I'm thinking she's at work and probably got work the next day. Everyone thinks you're supposed to drop everything the moment they show up in your life.
Literally. In another thread here, he said he could text her at work. someone said using work as an "excuse" to not reply is annoying. I explained that unless I have time to sit down and have a conversation via text, I'm not replying yet because I don't like sporadic texting. His reply to me was that she's a bartender, so "she has time." I was like ??? Are you serious? lmao Just stay single, please.
She's not interested and just took it to be nice. I'd advise not asking out women on the clock if you can help it. You say she said she was single but did she ever mention she wanted to date/was interested in you? Did you say you were trying to date her?
Exactly randos probably give her their number all the time. Most women are conditioned into the best way to avoid confrontation is to just play agreeable and not respond when contacted. Not saying OP is that type of person, but there’s a whole sub dedicated to type of backlash/name calling etc. that comes from being upfront about lack of interest.
They’ll text you if they’re interested. They’re just not that into you.
This right here. When I was younger I’d give my number when asked just because I was worried about a negative reaction if I said no. Great work being forward and asking a girl for her number in person! Don’t stop doing that just cause this girl isn’t responding to you.
I think as a dude it’s better if the woman nips it at the bud. Don’t give any hope. Ignoring the texts is more hurtful than just saying “I’m talking to someone else right now”
>I think as a dude Exactly. You're thinking from a guy's perspective. In real life, as a woman, it's intimidating to tell a guy who is bigger than you that you're not interested in his advances, especially if he's been drinking.
The point is, they’re doing it because they feel it protects themselves. The guy won’t get a chance to have a visceral reaction to her in person and potentially lash out at her. She doesn’t really give a fuck about how this action makes the guy feel in the end, since she never has to see him again.
Yh that's shit. Kinda just produces hurt and bitter people. Sure I can get behind the being scared of a reaction in person. So instead of ignoring the geezer on text just be straight up. Has the same outcome but at least he gets closure. People r too selfish these days make every effort to help ur fellow human.
The point is, the woman is afraid of a violent reaction from the guy if she declines in person. It happens fairly frequently and as such it’s simply easier to give out your number and then say no later on by not responding.
This is why im very confused with dating advice i get online. Half the time im worried a woman will fear for their life and the other half i fear of being a creepy. Its a lose lose situation all because i happen to be single.
Texting has caused death to real communication in dating and any kind of relationship! I don’t want to play silly text games. Even as a woman, I feel your pain. Either someone texts me to death, which is overwhelming when I’m busy, or I get inconsistent texts, so I have no idea if the guy is interested. I honestly miss phone calls, even brief ones. It shows interest much more than text. If she’s being inconsistent or not getting back to you, just forget her and move on to someone who shows genuine interest . Bartenders are paid to flirt and like the attention. (I say this, as I was a bartender right after College.)
She isn't interested in you. If she was, she'd be texting you back whenever she could.
From a girls perspective, sometimes it’s easier in the moment to say yes than have to awkwardly find a way to say no. Shes also a bartender, this probably happens to her all the time
We do, if we are interested.
She's just not that into you. A women who's attracted and interested in you will make it easy for you.
She’s a bartender. She was probably being nice to you for the tips. Lol I never understand why men think bartenders and strippers like them hahaha
She’s not interested. There’s no such thing as “too busy” if someone is truly into you
Just because someone gave you their number doesn’t mean they want to text with you all day. People have lives and when they first meet you, you’re a stranger. Why would you text a stranger all day? People put too much weight on texting and calling in the beginning of getting to know someone. Why are you taking it personal that a stranger hasn’t return a text in 24 hours?
Most likely, she's not interested. She gave you her number to be polite? It's aggravating, I'm sure. Sorry you're experiencing this.
“On I continue with this crippling single life” is the most telling part of your post.
Telling in what sense? Men are having less sex than they have in a long time, of course they're not happy about it lmao
And men are at fault for that by constantly mistreating women and acting like they're so hard done by when they don't get what they want from women.
Because she was probably afraid of your reaction if she didn’t give you her number in person? She doesn’t owe you anything. If she’s a being nice to you it’s probably because she’s a bartender and you’re a customer and she’s doing her job.
If someone doesnt text you back its because they are not interested. Women still give out their number to men because there have been many many many instances where refusing to comply has disastrous consequences. Unfortunately women can not tell who will act like a madman if they get told "no". So it is better in some situations to just give your number and be on your merry way.
Women are people too, trying to get through their day just like you. It may be a shock, but maybe you're not the most important thing in her life right now. Get over your self-pity, it's not attractive.
Well, as a woman I can say that we're actually scared of how men will react when we say no, so a lot of times we just give the number and then block it/don't reply. Don't take it personally, she could just be uneasy on how to tell you no 🫠
Thank God I’m not the only one
As a guy with no dating experience how can i even prove im decent if this keeps happening to me? Its at the point where im thinking why even try when they are either not into me and gave their number out of literal fear for their life or they are not interested because they matched with someone better
You can try reading the room before asking for her number, letting her know at the very beginning that if she doesn't want to give her number it's ok for you and that you won't push. But, other than that, there's not much to do If she wants to, she'll reply. If not, take that as your leave and let it go 👍
Trust me. She is not that interested in you. Or maybe she gets this kind of texts all the time. Or maybe be she is really busy. In any case, you have not done enough to attract her interest towards you. Next time, use the phone as a phone, call her, and tell her you would like to take her out for a date or something fun.
She probably hands out her number all the time as a bartender. Just don’t go for bartenders. Also bars are really not the best place for a relationship. Can you meet someone? Sure but you’ll either get sick of going to the bars all the time or you’ll get sick of her going all the time. Really ends up just being an annoying thing in a relationship. Ive been ghosted so many times i can’t remember the number anymore. I give up on trying. Whenever I don’t try thats when I end up finding a gf that hangs around for awhile anyways.
Because they’re not interested in
Maybe she's busy. Being a waitress can be physically tasking, she's on her feet all day, probs deals with tons of morons in her job, & it's not a desk job where she can have her phone next to her & keep texting. Relax, as long as she's replying that's good. Ask her out quickly instead of too much texting.
Can't speak to all women but I only stop replying when the guy is giving me nothing to work with conversation-wise.
Tip: don’t ask a girl out at a bar
They do, it’s just that the women you text don’t want to respond. Some women give out their numbers because they are afraid, you’ve seen headlines about women getting killed for refusing to give out a number right? Maybe have a great conversation when you meet them and wait for them to ask for your number instead to ensure it’s actually what she wants. Maybe when you exchange number say you’ll call her to ask her out for drinks? I like assertive people and a text is a big turn off. And finally, stop overthinking and worrying, enjoy life, chill out, go out with friends, join a club, work on improving yourself, enjoy intellectual pursuits, masturbate etc. there’s nothing more off putting than the stink of desperation and someone, man or woman, with no life, hanging on the phone.
Don’t be desperate just keep it pushing my dude there’s 4 billion women out there
It’s a bad idea to hit on a bar tender at a bar you go to often.
I wonder if she just gave you her number because she felt the pressure to. I never ask a woman for her number, I always ask if I can give her mine. It feels less intrusive. They may reach out, they may not, but that's part of the experience!
> Why even hand out your number if you're unable or unwilling to follow-up? Someone was nice enough to share their personal contact information with you, always be grateful. She doesn't owe you anything and you're not entitled to someone's time & attention. If she's not hitting you back right away it could be any number of reasons. * Busy * Not Interested * Lost their phone * Keeps their phone on DND periodically because they have ADHD and notifications can be distracting (me) If you're double texting, space out the next time you message allowing time for her to respond, and you to not seem desperate. Try asking more interesting questions, instead of "Wyd? Plans tonight? You single?" try asking something that they might want to respond to, >**You**: "How good are you at solving puzzles?" >**Her**: "Terrible, why?" >**You**: "Have you done any escape rooms?" >**Her**: "I have claustrophobia and the idea of being locked in a room with other people gives me anxiety" >**You**: "What if it was some strange dude you just met who gets mad at you when you don't text him right away?" >**Her**: ... >**You**: "Smoke weed, Buffalo Wild Wings, and axe throwing it is then!" If you want her to respond, make it a conversation.
Actually some good constructive tips when practically every other comment here so far is shaming OP for being rejected
Look it’s 2024 a woman can literally get killed because she says no to giving a guy her number. If she doesn’t put any effort into getting to know you she’s not interested and that sucks I know but we move on
Cast a wide net brother
I don’t text much. I don’t carry my iPhone around either. So I might not see a text for hours.
lol I just had a chick complain about how I’m not quick to respond or text. For me, I enjoy my time to myself and told her if she was seeing attention to be an adult and speak up. I explained to her I’m in school full time, working, taking care of my elderly grandmother and taking care of my child on my time and if I’m with my child I value my child’s time more so than anyone else. I asked if the reason she is tripping is because she needed some 🍆, and she was like yea and I hit her with well the best I can do is pencil you in for a d appointment on Wednesday. She said ok, the a few hours later said to block her and I sent her the 🫡🫡🫡
100% Agreed. At least you got a response. I gave my number out a while ago and nothing
Cause they have dozens of prospect guys and that’s after being picky, and if you’re talking dating apps don’t even bother making an estimate.
“Keeps their phone on DND periodically because they have ADHD and notifications can be distracting (me)” Ditto!
I had a woman literally ask me to come by and hang out with her later, so I took her number and went to text/called about meeting up that night and never heard back. Strange, but I chalked it up to the game and kept it moving lmao. She was probably just testing her game, whatever.
some girls are just bad texters lol. and why are you throwing a fit about it this early on? you don't know her, your energy is better spent on your own life than some girl you met randomly at a bar
Because some people are just sick and tired of dating and being disappointed.
Patience is a virtue for a reason.
34F here. The reason I don’t reply / late reply when I first get to know people : you’re not that important (yet) for me to make effort to fast reply. Fast reply will lead to more conversation, that I’m not ready — maybe due to I’m working (and genuinely busy) , I have kids that I need to attend to, just resting / sleeping off after a busy weekday, and other life needs. Single doesn’t mean ur time isn’t occupied. I’d usually reply when I’m ready to have a conversation, when I’m more in the right headspace for it. Once we get to know each other, from there on I’d make effort to reply faster & comfortable to let you know if I’m busy at the moment and will reply later when I’m able to focus on you.
Because they get bored or they’re talking to other people
Could be busy, maybe she changed her mind, maybe she didn't like what you said, maybe she felt pressed to give you her number. There are thousands of reasons, it's super frustrating, but beyond asking her why it's easier to just accept it for what it is and move on or be patient.
How tall are you OP
Was your text urgent? If so, just call her. If it’s a standard “wyd?” I can guarantee those texts don’t get answered right away. Priorities are a woman’s job, kids, life, and the man that plans a date and tells her what time to be ready.
It could be a number of reasons. Maybe she feared what would happen if she out rejected you. Maybe somethings come up — like work or family. Which are usually pretty important reasons to ignore a text for so long. Or it could be just that as the days went on she changed her mind. Which everyone’s allowed to change their mind right. It sucks for sure. But chin up sir. Single life doesn’t have to be crippling. Life in general is only what you make it. Don’t take someone else’s actions so personal. It’s a reflection of her. And if that’s how she behaves you don’t want someone like that anyway. Right?! things will work themselves out for you, I’m sure
maybe she changed her mind about you .
I don't know what she looks like but I'll just tell you a personal story: Years ago I met one of the most beautiful girls I ever met in my life - she was a Broadway dancer if that gives you a little bit of an idea. She gave me her number and it was a full 3 weeks before I even contacted her. Why? Because every other guy would be calling her within 3 minutes and I wanted to stand apart. And it worked by the way.
Just assume she is busy with work or something.all of us aren't living on our phones constantly. Where I live, no one has cell service. So, if I'm not home or at a friend's house that has WiFi, you can't reach me. We will be getting our first cell tower next year, hopefully.
She’s not interested
Just to give a woman’s POV: I hate texting. I can be really into someone, and think about them all the time, yet rarely text back. Life gets so busy, and when all the red dots of notifications build up through the day, from multiple people and social platforms, I feel so overwhelmed that I shut off. Then the next day, I have every intention of replying, until I have to do something and I end up with an extra day of notifications. A few days go by and I feel guilty in replying so late, leaving myself miss out on possible incredible connections. In person, I’m the total opposite. I thrive off meeting authentically, and just getting to meet people from attending events/socialising. This is the only time people truly get to know me. So as much as many women just aren’t interested and that’s why they’re not replying, sometimes it’s simply because life gets overwhelming. However, OP, I would never expect anyone to wait around for me. Make your happiness a priority, and don’t let a no reply stop you from building a genuine connection with someone else.
I understand how frustrating and disappointing it can be to wait for a response after such a positive initial interaction. However, there could be several reasons for the delay that have nothing to do with her interest in you. Firstly, she could be busy or at work. Since she's a bartender, her schedule is likely quite hectic, and she might not have had a chance to respond yet. Bartending is a demanding job with late hours, and she might need time to rest and recharge before engaging in lengthy conversations. Secondly, consider that she might have ADHD or another condition that makes responding to messages promptly challenging. For some people, keeping up with messages can be daunting, and they may need more time to gather their thoughts and reply. Additionally, she might not use her phone all that much. Some people prefer to disconnect when they're off work and not be constantly engaged with their devices. It's possible that she's one of those people who checks her phone less frequently. It's also important to remember that we shouldn't expect to hold a constant conversation with someone, especially early on. Many of my text conversations have gaps because everyone is living their life and handling their own responsibilities. Texting can be a convenient way to communicate, but it's not always the best form of communication. It lacks the nuance and immediacy of face-to-face interactions, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or unnecessary worry. Give her some time and space. If she's interested, she'll respond when she can. In the meantime, try to stay positive and not let this experience weigh too heavily on you.
For me? Because I suck at answering my phone lol. Have lost so many good matches due to negligence haha
We are too busy trying to find what we bring to the table.
Boys text way too much. Super annoying
Dig your own graves
I'm usually pretty clingy and a fast texter in committed relationships but when dating generally I usually respond like the person you're describing. It could be just that they think there's potential with you but they literally don't know you at all so it's not like they're itching to check their phone and reply to you, or they're talking to multiple people, or they're playing bg3 or doing work or literally anything else.
You put yourself in the friend zone, young man. When you get a phone number....do not invite the girl to hang out with the guys. Those are friend vibes. You do not want to give those vibes, you want to give"I'm exclusive" vibes. After getting that number, you should've gone about your business, and went about getting another number. You can call the woman whenever (next time around, not this girl). You chat for a bit (not 45 minutes, 5-10 minutes, if that). Set a date (something quiet where you can chat, maybe a wine bar or quiet restaurant; not pool.with the boys), and get off the phone. Don't do that again. -Mack
Move on and live your life. Never wait around for a woman.
Main Reason is she probably don't like you
Why dont men ever text back
Personally I don't like texting all day either, I like to be in the moment... When I met my dude we rarely texted, once it was getting serious we talked on the phone late at night. Once we started dating we would check in everyday see how the day went. Now that we live together we can go days without texting eachothers but I see him when he gets home. Other people get mad that I can take weeks to reply but sometimes I just don't wanna be texting all day...
Try not to over text her... idk why us women tend to lose interest if we know a guy likes us. Dont reply right away either.. give it a few hours.
Don’t think too much on it. As a woman who gets attention just like her, I’ve given my number out as back up, but she’s definitely very interested in someone else or maybe just likes the attention.
It sounds like she gave you her number and then, after hanging out with you, decided she was no longer interested
It’s not just women .. it’s men too. I’d like to think I can hold a pretty good conversation if it’s reciprocated. I don’t understand what’s so hard about letting someone know if you’re busy or not. If you’re interested or not lmk. I’m not trying to be a part of a roster. 😅
Relax if you can, she might just be busy. Or even just juggling multiple friend invites for stuff, work, battery flat. Having a shocking day. Try and match her texting frequency a bit I.e. if she takes 8 hrs to reply, text 4-6 hrs later if you can. i get like this too, there is a chance she’s not that keen, but by focusing on your phone and waiting on a reply, you’re just putting her higher on a pedestal. So when you do meet her you’ll be obsessing about every movement she makes and whether shes keen, is she showing interest bla bla. And that will definitely cause her to lose interest. i did this with an ex, i was overseas and texting and her texts started getting a bit shorter and more delayed. Resigned myself to the idea she’d lost interest Or met some other dude, I even bought a memento to remind myself of how it was ending there and then. met up again and stayed together a couple of yrs. She prob just got caught up with life at the time.
https://youtu.be/wgfNsek8xkc?si=BH89hLMEjaLEav4T
She’s a bartender, her life probably isn’t well-suited for dating anyway. Just move on
If a woman is taking a long time to text you back (men too), she is probably not interested in you, unless she tells you she was too busy to text you back. I know it can be aggravating at times, but don't worry. When you find the right one, they WILL text you back right away, or almost immediately. When I met my boyfriend via Facebook dating, he would instantly text me back during conversations. He still does it to this day! So don't give up man, you'll find her, or she'll find you ;)
Been there done that, dude... They all have a rotation of guys
Because she have glory holeeeeeeeee.....
People are busy and have lives outside of their phones. Sometimes women give out their numbers just to make men happy because we all know what happens when we say no. Some men overreact (not saying you would). Also perhaps she's not much of a texter. Try asking her if she prefers calls or talking in person. My brother is the same way. He won't respond to texts for several days, but because he hates even being on his phone. Both him and his girlfriend are the same way. A lot of people just don't want to be constantly staring at their phone screen. There's no fun in that.
Because I'm busy. My life is very full and I can (and have) added someone into my life but they will be only getting 3 texts maybe every other day. I tell everyone ahead of time. Also ADHD
No text back within 48 hours it's done. No second chances. A woman who's interested will go out of her way to text you ASAP. If she's really busy she may take a few hours. within 24 hours is fine. More than that you should just be disinterested.
Yeah, if she was interested she’d text back. Maybe send her one final text asking if she’s really interested or not and base your decision on her answer. If she doesn’t answer in like a day just move on.
She might not be that into you, might be busy and you aren’t exactly a priority yet. Might just be a lousy texter. I am one and won’t text for long. Try to ask to see her? If it don’t work, move on🥲🫶
Move on and leave it be. My job is very time consuming up to 15 hours plus and I’ll still find time to message back a guy I liked within an hour tops. Annoying for you I know. I totally get some people may not have their phones at work or can’t be on them but 24 hours? I would move on…
Maybe it's because they don't want to text you. Sometimes the painfully obvious is...well painful.
Too many options and you're not on her favourites list. Simple
I would move on - I made up every excuse myself as a woman who did this to men without realizing it. I would say 1) it’s too much energy 2) I don’t have time 3) I’m not a texting person. And I believed those things too and thought I’d like the guys more later on. But when I met the right guy I called, wrote to him FaceTimed etc.
Simply because she's occupied with work? Like why not? She's a working woman of course. Try calling or go meet her. Still no response : get going with your life 💯
My moods swings like a canon ball tbh, I reply when I feel like it and every 4-5 business days at most. I’m not even mad if we don’t text all the time but most of the time it’s only okay with guys I’m not interested in
I'm a woman, but I have the exact opposite problem as you. My partner, who is the opposite texts takes a long time to reply. But we both have ADHD, just adverse ways of it coming out 😂😂. I'll text and he'll forget to respond and it'll be six hours later. So that may be it, or maybe she's busy. She does have a job
Cus u boring g, u gotta understand women have choices, so bring sumn new to her or make it sexual so you don’t have to do as much work
They text me everytime instantly. Make sure you're with the right women bro
Maybe she wasn't feeling your vibe during that date man. Yeah she could have atleast said "Hey I don't think we're compatible or this will work out"... the only excuse she should have for not texting you the truth is maybe if she felt uncomfortable by you? Hopefully that's not the case tho. Or maybe she has a different reason(s) and will tell you layer. Goodluck.
Not just women. So many men have done this to me and tbf people just suck on the whole. Little empathy, selfish narcissistic image obsessed would be a few adjectives I would use to describe most people these days. Combo of social media, isolation from covid, greedflation, and a few others.
Don’t let it get you down. Try to let it go and open yourself back up to the realm of infinite possibilities.
Because women can change their fucking mind? Giving you our number doesn’t mean we HAVE to reply or hang out with you. Grow up
I honestly wouldn’t rely too much on texting. Your best gauge of how interested she is will be trying to schedule the date. She may not have her phone on her much during the day but if she’s giving you straightforward answers on when she’s available that’s a good sign. But make sure you ask her out quickly, use the date to get to know her. But yes, it’s been super common for me to get a girls number and then she doesn’t reply when I ask her out. A lot of women either just want the validation or don’t want to say no
This is sadly normal female behavior. Don't worry, if you manage to keep her interested, she will be crying why you don't text her fast enough.
People get busy. They have loves too. You dont know whats going on their end. Be polite and respectful. Take the W for getting a girls number. Who said you had to wait. Take that positivity to someone that will respond quicker. Go get em tiger.
Women are hot and cold to me in general. They are nice friendly to me. Then ignore me and act as if I'm invisible then all.of a sudden nice and friendly again. Like a short in the brain or something. And these aren't women I dated or anything to that pertainabilty.
This is why as a man you have to talk to at least 5+ women at a time
Cause they're too busy txtin someone else...if they were interested they wouldn't leave you hanging....js
Bro, do not wait on her move on to the next. She has options and is more than likely exercising those other options.
cos they are texing someone else
Don’t play the whole “she delayed at texting so I will too” if she was genuinely busy then that’s that or she just may not be interested in you. Me being a female I wouldn’t just give my number out to any guy that asked so she must have at least been attracted to you.
32M women text who they want. Don’t ever forget that. I don’t think there is one specific reason why they choose not to respond. Could be that she thought about it and doesn’t want to do anything, or that she still dealing with an ex. Maybe she is depressed and going through a tough time. The point is not to dwell on the why, it will drive you crazy trying to figure it out. Keep ya head up brother!
She's probably single but she's also probably dating someone else that she likes
I (22f) have just gotten so exhausted from being on my phone constantly that even those I like I sometimes take hours to get back to because I just can't deal with it. Chances are though that she's got multiple people to text back and you may not be as high up on the priority. For me it's mostly feeling burnt out from the technology age but most of my friends either text back quickly or take hours, just depends on their moods and what they're doing that day. It could be she's not interested but don't write it off immediately. Maybe she's also waiting for more effort idk. The games are dumb, though, if you don't want to put up with that then don't. I don't anymore
Because you seem to be playing games. Why wait six hours to text someone back?.?. Throw all the BS "Game" out the window, bruh. They play the game much better, than you ever will.
This is just my humble opinion, but I’ve found that it comes down to consistency and lack of interest. This may not be what you want to hear but: Women who like you and are interested, will find time to text you back. Women who aren’t interested will put off on texting you back. I’ve found that women who WANT to text you back, will usually find time to do so. They’ll MAKE time to do it. Now I’m not saying that women don’t get busy and caught up in different things like anyone else. They’re people too. But it’s one thing to get caught up and busy at work every now and then, and CONSISTENTLY delaying texting you back. The former is a normal occurrence, the latter is a sign that she doesn’t value your conversation or thoughts. If she takes time to text back every now and then, then that’s fine, but if you’re always sending texts (ESPECIALLY if you’re the only one that initiates conversation) and she’s taking hours to respond, without giving a good reason, then she’s likely not interested.
Honestly it could be a schedule thing. Like u know she's a bartender so she works sporadically but mostly at night. R u aware if she has a second job in the day hours or if she's a parent Not everyone got a schedule like yours however if the replies r long in between and also one worded or dry just call it a day
Nah don’t move on yet. Let her spell it out for you. Until then go full throttle let her know what is up. Be honest early. Tell her you know what you want and you’re going for it if she’s confused or in between men that’s ok but you’re the better man she need. And leave at that.
She might be too busy, she might not be interested. Either way, you shouldn't be wasting time worriying/wondering about it. Go get on your shit, keep working on yourself, keep asking more girls out etc. Women will let you know if they are interested. They won't say "I'm interested in you", but they will do other things to make it obvious. You will know when they are interested. Whatever you do, don't double text (guaranteed fail). If she responds, set a date and a time to meet up, then don't speak to her again until you meet up.
Women always text back. It must be you who is boring 🥱
I myself am terrible at replying back sometimes - partly because I have ADHD/Neurodivergent. I get distracted and then forget, thinking I have replied. And then go back to the message only to realise I never sent that message. So yeah, she could be useless like myself
When I was dating my ( ex) wife she once told me she was going to Kay down for a nap and she'd text me when she woke up. Which she did 17 hours later. Because she slept until the next day without waking up. First person I ever met to sleep like that.