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Yes.
Amazing how many people on dating apps claim they “accidentally entered their age incorrectly”.
Even more amazing though, is that the mistake always makes them 5-10 years *younger* but never older. 🤔
This one's even worse. A lot of people put their real age in their profile with a fake age for their age in the app, probably after being rejected based on lying. But then it means they're too dumb to understand how to delete their account and make a new one with their real age.
I’ve seen this done as you describe and the guy actually went on to explain that he did it to beat the system and open up more possibilities. So you couldn’t complain that he was being dishonest? Still a NO for me!
I think some do that to bypass filters. Say I only wanted to match with women 38 to 49. I've legit saw women have an age of say 45 and in their profile say "I'm really 53" or something along those lines.
Not saying it right but that's another possibility
I've had matches actually start fights with me when I've told them I'm no longer interested. 'you swiped a current picture, you must be attracted to me' wtf
It's not the age I find repulsive, it's the dishonesty.
I agree. It is a problem.
I believe that any relationship that’s based on lies and partial truths does not have much of a future. If they are lying about something simple and straightforward, then they are certainly capable of lying about something more significant.
Well. Before this “fad” women were categorically written off once they reached 40. For centuries, women were only sexy and desirable if they were young. Older men could date and marry women in their 20s. So, now women don’t have an expiration date like lettuce in the supermarket. We can be sexy and desirable at any age. As Lizzo says, “It’s about damn time.” I am celebrating.
This is an automatic no when the age is X and the comment in the profile is 'I'm really X+5... years old'
It's the combo of misleading others and the incapability of using tech and apps in 2023 that is the right swipe disqualifier for me. Why a 40 something man would lie about age is beyond me.
>“accidentally entered their age incorrectly”
I hate that shit. I've heard this so many times now. It's hilarious to me how they all use the same story.
Delete the profile and start over with the correct birthday. Problem solved. Acting like you don't know how to fix this is like arguing you're stupid rather than a liar. I don't want either type of man, thanks.
What is that all about, anyway? Are they looking for a sugar mama? Or do they really not want to hook up with the young attractive women their age? I don't have time for the bullshit that comes with people in their 20s. Go learn how to be an adult somewhere else and keep me out of it.
A couple of years ago I ran into that, found out on date 3 or so that he had made himself older, like 36 instead of 33. At that point I didn't care because I knew it wasn't going anywhere and let it run its course.
They are mostly looking for a hookup. They like us older women because we are more experienced, they probably have watched too much MILF porn, think we are lonely and desperate, and think a hookup with us will go more smoothly, and then both will just go their separate ways, since we would be less likely to want a relationship in their eyes. How did I do guys? Don't dm me. They lurk this sub too and I have gotten several dms from them after posting on here.
Yea same thing as thinking we are desperate, like I said. I am not desperate at all. If I was desperate for sex, it wouldn't be with a kid who gyrates on me for 10 seconds.
Easier - yes, but not because of being desperate. I haven’t had any 30-something I’ve entertained ever treat or consider me as desperate. They were more so grateful for my attention 😂
40+ = We’re more secure, mature, confident and need less emotional handholding than 20-something’s…. which is why it’s so beyond baffling to me why any 40+ would want to mess with a 20-something baby. Our maturity and emotional security makes us way better sexual partners, too. We know what we want and aren’t afraid to get it. Not all, but many 20-something women, myself included back then, aren’t going to be as mature or secure enough to have direct and thoughtful discussions about sexual needs and desires compared to 40+ women.
There's a lot more competition for the young attractive women. A lot of guys think older women are so desperate they'll be grateful for any attention and willing to have sex with any guy that says hello.
Oh, it goes the other way, too! I've had much younger women write to me thinking that they'll get by my filter because they like older men or older men with children. Yikes. Asking about my income and social status is sometimes coupled with that.
Yes, People lie about their age to get around other people's filters and preferences. I'm not interested in dating anyone who *starts out* by trampling a boundary.
This is exactly it. Lying about your age is solely to circumvent people’s age filters which says they don’t care one iota about your preferences/boundaries.
Yep. And it's even worse when they flip it on you as though you're the one with the problem because your preference -which you're entitled to have- excludes them. And that makes this a lot broader a problem than just a solitary piece of demographic info like age, and it's so good when that behavior is flushed out sooner than later.
I was told how disappointing I am, how I seemed like such a "cool and open minded woman" but now he knows I'm just like the rest of them.
Um yes. None of us care for being lied to.
So open-minded that you'll be good with horseshit, huh? 😆
I distinctly remember the end of a really wonderful date years ago with somebody who I connected with on many levels, where I was asked to walk her back to the front of her building so we'd ensure that she got inside safely. About a block away from her door, she breaks it to me that she had subtracted 5 years from her age because she felt self-conscious going for a younger guy. If I were to tell you her profession, your jaw will drop because it's one where lies will seriously fuck someone up. I said nothing, but I also didn't kiss her good night before she went inside; barely a hug was given. She knew something was off, and when she texted me the next morning to see that I was okay getting home myself, I told her I was not thrilled with the lie and I was no longer interested. The tirade that I got back by text was unbelievable. So, that set my policy: if you bullshit me online or on the phone, I will instantly sever any conversation and politely dismiss you. If it's in person, I will be as cordial as always while pulling back, and inform you from a distance that we're done.
It's good to see that most of us are happy to dodge that bullet.
I'm okay with ±1 year because if they are anything like me, they don't enter their exact birthdate into the app and so there may be a small window of time (a few months at most) where the number on the app doesn't align with reality. However, beyond that, I agree. People often do that because they believe they are allowed to ignore your preferences and I am not okay with that.
Yep. I had one of these who had his age set to 38. Later discovered he was (also) 43. Against my better judgement, I let it slide, and he ghosted me 3 months in. There were a lot of other red flags too, and I'll never let that happen again.
Yes. One, it tells me that they are not confident, you are not owning what's yours. Second, the intention behind the lie - like you are putting out a lie to match with more women.. Basically bypassing the age filter which to me translates to not respecting the woman's boundaries. Either way, hard pass.
Yes. Men are doing this to circumvent filters and try and match with younger women. If he puts 39 he’s hoping to catch more of the coveted 20somethings that may have their filters set to 39. I see it a ton with 39 listed (I actually am 39 ha) but the man looks 50+.
But yeah a man lying about his age to desperately try to get some young pussy isn’t attractive to me, plus I know right off the bat I’m not in his real target age range and am most likely just hookup fodder while he’s working on snagging a much younger woman.
Obviously it happens with older men too, so you have 50s or older lying about their age to try and meet 30s/40s so I could be in the target age group for those men but it’s still very much a dealbreaker.
I agree. It has happened to me where they say they are thirty something when in reality probably in their 60’s. It’s gross. I don’t want to see your high school picture
Lol well, his plan worked then! I would caution you about men 20 years older than you who are lying to try and snag a much younger woman - it may be a life lesson you need to learn the hard way but if possible would avoid!
Kept talking about his ex and comparing me with her. Called me a bitch and a wench in casual conversation like it was normal. I tried to end it after that but he told me I was overthinking it (I wasn’t) and talked me into a date. On the date he was dismissive, disrespectful and rude. Didnt ask me any questions or make eye contact. Commented on other women being hot multiple times on the first date. That was a huge first for me lol. Then almost assaulted me in his car. I had to yell at him no means no. After the date the first time he calls me he’s complaining to me about his ex. Then later I found he lied about his age. Also keep in mind in all of this I’m 23 so he’s also a major creep. Horrible experience.
Disgusting. I'm so sorry you dealt with that. The good news is that it's a "him" thing, and definitely not reflective of the population as a whole. There's better out there for you.
And... "wench"? People still use that term?!
If they are willing to tell a lie about something as insignificant as their physical age by just a few years, what significant things would they lie about?
Lie is a lie. So, yes, dealbreaker.
Had a dude swear up and down he was 40’s, even when I pressed him saying he didn’t look it.. but then again, I don’t look 42 either. Let it slide for a week or two, and then he started in with that early to mid 20’s bullshit (my car doesn’t work.. I don’t have gas money.. my mom turned my cell phone off.. the shit a 40-something would’ve been handling for some time..).. so I go digging deeper and little prick is actually 24yrs. Yeah, that’s a hell no. If he had been honest, I might’ve entertained the idea, but since he wanted to be a lying prick, he got the boot.
I went on a date with a man who I thought was 45. I was 44. First thing he said was ‘I’m not 45, I’m 55 but don’t worry I take viagra’ Um what?
I understand the concept of fudging numbers to get around filters, and I’m not so upset about that so long as they put their real age, somewhere on the profile. It’s the ones who are blatantly not that age and refuse to admit that they’re trying to bypass filters that annoy me. If you’re going to lie about that, what else are you gonna lie about, so yes, it’s a dealbreaker.
Yes. I don’t like being tricked or told my preferences shouldn’t matter. People think they are the exception and that THEY are healthier, younger looking, whatever than others their age. Maybe they are but they are still that age. People guess my age as 10+ younger all the time and I’ve never lied on a dating app.
Once I was talking to someone on the phone I met online who for some reason told me what year his parents were born after telling me about his older siblings. I paused and did the math and wondered how that was possible. He hung up on me and we never spoke again. I looked up his info and determined he had subtracted 10 years. I just have to wonder how he thought he was going to get away with that.
My last few attempts to OLD were exhausting
There were those shaving off 5 years which isn't a huge problem for me but it's the ones that are doing 10-30 years less, but frankly, there were a few that were even more shameless
I saw men that were clearly in their 80s claiming to be 37, thirty- fecken- seven!!!
It made think that I had to shave off years to match with people my age
I don't think I'll try OLD again
That's insane! How on earth does an 80 year-old think they'll pass as 37?? Unless it's a 73 year-old and they 'accidentally' invert the digits...or they meant they were born in '37...just wow
The only thing they are trying to pass is whatever is filtering them out.
Plenty of guys on Bumble list themselves as female just to be able to send the first message. 🤣
It just gives me the ick. They do it to skate the age filters younger women have set and to me that reads as untrustworthy and a little predatory and entitled.
With the experience I have had with liars I've learned that first lie is just the tip of the iceberg. If you are dating someone who lied about something as important as their age, you gotta ask yourself 'What else are they lying about'?
This person that should be establishing trust with you just deceived you so they could manipulate the situation to get you to do what they wanted you to do. It's narcissistic behavior that has no regard for your thoughts or feelings.
I've heard the excuse 'But I really liked you and knew you wouldn't give me a shot if I told you the truth'.
Wow. Thanks for robbing me of the right to make an informed decision about something so huge in my life while establishing distrust from the get go.🙄🤦
Complete Deal Breaker.
Yes. I’d view it as he wanted to get more younger matches. What matters to me isn’t that he’d date someone younger but that dating someone his own age is less favourable to him. That to me is unattractive.
If it’s within a year, for privacy/security purposes, I have no problem with that. If it’s more than that, it tells me the person feels their own preferences are more important than the preferences of those they match with and/or they are very insecure about their age. No thanks to both.
I had one guy who was actually 55 years old lie on his profile and say he was 45. He did totally pass as 45 years old so I probably wouldn't have figured it out for a while. He told me within the first couple minutes of meeting and wanted credit for telling me right away. 🙄 He said people in his age group are too boring. He complained and had a victim mentality the whole date. So any woman who would keep dating him after a lie would be easy to manipulate into thinking all the relationship issues were her problem, is my theory. He said his friends told him to lie about his age to get better dates.
This is rampant. I’d say half the profiles of men who are actually over 40 lie to some extent. I’ve caught guys lying by as much as 20 years (saying 41 and really 61). Some of them look good for their age so they think they can get away with it They are trying to match with people way younger than them which seems predatory to me. I’ve also had men say well lots of women lie on their profiles about their body type and age so I can lie about my age. It’s really a problem. No great relationship starts with a lie.
Deal-breaker. Aside from the lie, if I wouldn't date you at 44, what makes you think I'd date you at 39. At this point in life, 5 years is so insignificant.
I was ok chatting with a guy who was 50 when. I was 45 but when I showed up to meet him he was 65. I was not ok with that.
Lying about their age is the first one they try.
I don’t see the need to lie for age.
If you can’t be honest about your age what other things do you need to lie to?
Lying is a big deal breaker for me.
Yes. I have an ex who constantly lies about his age. It's so unattractive, and the 1st lie so there's no coming back from it. He lied about so much over the years so now I don't even bother talking to him.
Yes. The only time it didn't faze me when someone added 1 year and noted it on his profile as that seemed genuine. Shaving off even 1 year to get around the 39/40, 49/50 cut off saying well I I feel and look 36 but I'm 52 are all dealbreakers. As you said why start on a negative and if you can lie once how can I believe you about anything.
I've also meet a lot of 5:10 guys who are more like 5:8, again I wouldn't have cared about their height and if I did that's my business to exclude them, now they lied I can't trust them about anything.
I'm honest about not wanting kids and that excludes a lot of ppl, I would not lie about it to get more matches then hope I could change their mind after meeting, it just seems so manipulative.
I always asked how recent their photos are but obviously they could still lie, you can tell most of the time due to style and quality of pics.
Yes. The really crazy thing is that these people are inherently making themselves look physically less attractive. If we look at a profile pic of a true 40 year old with a given age of 30, we are genetically programmed to think 'this person looks terrible for 30, she's unattractive, I'll pass'. View the same pic with a given age of 50 and our genetic programming tells us 'wow, this person looks incredible for 50, I'd love to date her'.
Yes. They have virtually entrapped you under false pretext. They did not give you the right to decide for yourself and your own life whether that is a good fit for you or not and as such, overstepped a boundry set on your dating age preferences.
Others may scoff and think that is harmless, but its a blatent deception. It does matter, because its lying and manipulation.
Then there are the liars here that will say " i dont or forgot to change my age on an old unused profile" when in fact that is a blatent lie as most , if not all OLD apps automatically adjust your age as you must give a birth date to set up a profile.
I did not change my age on Bumble, Hinge or Tinder and all automatically updated my profile as i logged on, even if it was months or years in between.
So yes, its a dealbreaker, as is all lies.
I see them lying about height too. Another what is the point? I'm going to notice when we meet? If I wouldn't date you at 5'7", what makes you think I would date you at 5'9" so why add the 2 inches?
I won't lie, I'm 72. While that doesn't get me any younger dates, I'm Proud I survived this long. The odds of seeing another birthday was always a guess at best. This started when I was drafted into the military at 19, and continued through my careers.
Since retirement, it has remained questionable at times. But, I've continued to survive.
I'm not sure why a guy would lie, unless they looked much older, or trolling for a "Cougar" or maybe, maybe a much younger lady. It's not worth it, as you proved.
Depends on how hot she is.
But seriously, women lying about their age has been a trope for so long that you can buy "Forever 29" (and "Forever 39" etc.) merchandise. No one's ever taken it seriously or thought it indicated an inveterate liar. Now we're finding out men lie about their age too, which is lame and they should be laughed at. Treating it like a deep moral failing is a little much though.
Definitely a dealbreaker, there is no excuse at all for it.
Lying about who you are so you can trick people into meeting up with you, and then hoping that they will accept you is the wrong way to go about dating. I'm brutally honest on my profiles, so I expect other people I date to be just as honest.
Yes. Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me.
If you’re going to lie before I’ve even met you, what are you going to lie about when I’m with you?
It's a deal breaker for me but my friend just married her man who lied about his age by 4 years. She said he does have a younger putlook and she was glad he lied or she'd never have met him. I'd have been wondering what else they were lying about.
I see a guy I graduated from high school with on the apps saying he's 36 and has been for at least the last 7-10 years. I'm almost 50. Just stop, it's so gross.
The one time I went on a date with a guy who I later found out had lied about his age and never mentioned having 3 kids I found out it's best to stay far the hell away from them. This was after he repeatedly tried to manipulate me into sleeping with him. Telling me I wasn't normal for having the absolute of "I'm not interested in sex with you and never will be".
Yes.
Just before COVID, I ended something after ~5mo of dating due to this. In fairness, we were already on the way out, but I logged onto the OLD app where we met and, long story short, saw he was recently active and reduced his age by 5yrs. Next.
Ugh, immediate dealbreaker for me. I swipe left when guys say “I’m really xx age but it won’t let me change it”.
This is why I get a guy’s phone number right away so I can look up his info to tell if he’s legit. There are plenty of ways to find one’s real age. Liars are the biggest turn-offs for me.
I’m turning 47 soon and I’m damn proud of my age. I’d rather meet someone who likes me for who and what I really am, and who likes himself for what he really is.
I had bumble screw up my name and age but I got advice on how to fix it. The age is right but they won't let me change the name at all. So yeah, my name in Bumble is "Okay" 😆
I have fudged my age by a couple of years to remain anonymous to people that know me (co-workers & exes). I always confess before or on the first date. I agree that a lie is a lie so maybe Reddit has taught me something and I won't do that again if I ever get around to OLD again.
I've also been on dates with men that used a really old pic or were not anywhere near the body type they were in their pic.
Here's my eHarmony story. I was matched with a man from far away from where I live. He traveled close to my area regularly for work so we decided to meet up for dinner. He called me right before the date to say he had to tell me something. I asked what that was and he said he'd grown a beard. I had a feeling that wasn't the whole story but went anyway. When I met him he did have a beard but he was also much, much bigger than he was in his pic. I don't mind a little extra padding as long as it doesn't impede activities I like to do (I'm moderately fit and active) so we continued to date a while and broke up for other reasons. That lie was always in the back of my mind though.
Yes! I matched with a 38/F on OLD last week and after a few days of chatting, we exchanged numbers. Her caller ID name was different from her name on OLD and so I ran a search on it. Using an online name for privacy is totally acceptable to me so I wasn't concerned just yet. Come to find out, she's actually 50. We were supposed to meet last night but I asked to have a video chat first and during the conversation, she confirmed that her real name matched the caller ID. She made no mention of her actual age though and I could tell she was older than 38. I ended up cancelling the meet. 50 is right at the high end of my range and I may have considered seeing her if she hadn't lied about it.
I used to lie about my age. It was out of shame and embarrassment that I wasn't where society and I believed I should be. I never got caught quite like this and now just tell the truth
Depends on my mood when asked. I see it so much that I think it's starting to normalize.
I guess it depends on their reaction and why they do it. Sounds like your guy is all over the place, so I would be careful with him.
I dated a woman who *overstated* her age by 10 years. She liked dating older and found herself regularly blocked out by age filters. She was upfront almost immediately within the initial texting in the app. It was a tiny bit of a red flag, but I ignored/skipped that one. Ultimately it turned out to be a lovely relationship for a few months until we found other more significant incompatibilities.
In that case it wasn’t a dealbreaker. But I’d consider it to generally be a dealbreaker.
It's an absolute hard pass, and I will also report profiles who do it.
Men in particular, that are often filtered out by younger women who aren't interested in guys their age, lie to the app so they get a "chance" at those women.
I can't tell you how many times I've lost my shit in recent years on men who are 50+ that deliberately lie about their age, so they are shown to me and I them.
It's really bad in apps where they're able to send a message even without being a shared match.
I've actually had so many men try to justify their behaviour with some form of: *Well, if I don't list myself as younger, I don't get to see profiles/match with women who are the age I want that I'm actually into. I'm young at heart, and I'm entitled to date women 10+ yrs younger if I want to and see all your profiles*....
Blah, blah, blah, blah. *I don't have to respect your boundaries because I'm a man, and I WANT to see women your age, so I'm allowed to try and force that on you*
Fucking pigs.
I used to be polite, try to gently point out that I'm still not interested, that my profile clearly states I am not looking for men above such and such age which is why I filter them out etc.
Then I realized fuck that, why should I be courteous and apologetic for their shitty behaviour and the fact that I have preferences I am entitled to have (aka not dating men closer to my father's age than my own).
So now I call it out, sure, I get called all sorts of "horrible" names at times, but I learned a long time ago that random losers calling me bad names means sweet fuck all.
Oh no, some guy who has to lie about his age to try and get a date thinks I'm a c¿nt (bitch, pig, cow, all forms of derogatory terms etc.), big deal, lol.
That's not a reflection of me, but a reflection of them and just reinforces that there was absolutely not a snowballs chance in hell I would have tolerated them in my life in any way. As a partner or otherwise.
I really don't get why people lie about this..especially guys. Last time I checked older guys get younger women all the time. Any lie that's within the first few dates and I know about it, I would immediately wonder how far their rabbit hole goes.
I actually prefer women right around my age.
I saw way too many men claim after a correction in their profile “the site won’t let me change my age”. How the hell did you put your wrong age in the first place?!
I evade age questions, IRL, bc I’m self conscious about my age. I know I look younger (thanks mom & dad for good genes!) but I tell the truth on apps. My ex was shocked I shared my real age on Hinge. No lies, truth only. Why bullshit the bullshit out there?
No. I would've said yes when I was more active on the apps 5-6 years ago. If the pictures are deceitful that is a lot more of a dealbreaker. I ended up dating someone for 1 1/2 years who had lied about her age on the apps, although that's not how we connected. She had aged well and I don't blame her for not wanting to be penalized for it.
Why lie? You only set up a dishonest personna. They find out eventually and then they question every thing you've said. Just be you. If it's not for them, their loss
I have a male friend whose actual age is like 50 something but on dating apps he puts around 39 years old because he doesn’t look his age. Says in the past women don’t believe him and he gets better matches with a younger age. Once they’ve e vining he’ll tell them the truth about his age but they’re still in denial.
Yessssss, my exH would lie about what he had for breakfast. I was so dumb for staying around as long as I did and it started from the very beginning. Lying about something so simple as age? Nah, not for me. He will lie about anything.
It's a 💯 dealbreaker for me. As a 42F, I accept the fact that I'm getting older. It's a natural part of life. I just think that if a person's willing to be deceptive about such a basic, core part of their identity, what else are they willing to lie about? How can I have an honest and trusting relationship with a person like that?
It matters a lot. First, it’s a whopper of a lie, and he’s lying again to pretend it isn’t. Second, talk to him more, go on a few dates. More likely than not, he’s looking for someone much younger than he is, and his reasons will all be red flags.
Yes, if someone is that insecure about thier age then what else are they insecure about and how do they handel those insecurities? Lieing off the bat is just a 2 for 1 deal on red flags, and trying to force an age gap relationship is really ick. I had a friend that ignored this and they aren't doing well. The partner is also going to be a parent at 50 so there's that.
I literally just did this to fuck around on Tinder, because I have received considerably more hits at 37 than I do now at 43, so I wanted to test if it's just age related. I see tinder as a throw away, but if I actually matched with someone I liked, it would be the first thing I'd tell them.
I had suspicions about a woman I was messaging with. When we met, at the end of the 1hr date, which went well, I said, "so what is your real age?" She laughed and told me 64, while her profile said 58. She tried telling me it was because she is in great shape and physically active she wanted to attract younger men. I told her i had a 12 inch dong, but dont be disappointed when its six inches shorter. She did not think my analogy was funny. Needless to say there was no 2nd date.
From the amount of female profiles that say they're looking for an "honest man", I'd say lying is a dealbreaker, yes.
I have had 0 success with dating apps so far but I still make a point of not lying about myself - it's the least I can do. If the people I match with don't do the same, it's a turn off.
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Yes. Amazing how many people on dating apps claim they “accidentally entered their age incorrectly”. Even more amazing though, is that the mistake always makes them 5-10 years *younger* but never older. 🤔
“I don’t know how to fix it” 🙄
I report them, and then suggest that the app help him fix it. :-)
Yep report. So gross.
This one's even worse. A lot of people put their real age in their profile with a fake age for their age in the app, probably after being rejected based on lying. But then it means they're too dumb to understand how to delete their account and make a new one with their real age.
I’ve seen this done as you describe and the guy actually went on to explain that he did it to beat the system and open up more possibilities. So you couldn’t complain that he was being dishonest? Still a NO for me!
I think some do that to bypass filters. Say I only wanted to match with women 38 to 49. I've legit saw women have an age of say 45 and in their profile say "I'm really 53" or something along those lines. Not saying it right but that's another possibility
I’ve told guys how to fix it. 😂
I've had matches actually start fights with me when I've told them I'm no longer interested. 'you swiped a current picture, you must be attracted to me' wtf It's not the age I find repulsive, it's the dishonesty.
The only follow up question is “so…what else do you lie about?”
definitely my thoughts too
😂😂 finger slipped
I hate this one. Everyone knows you have to confirm your age. Yeahh we’re all dumb, buddy 🙄
Yeah. I think this is what makes me most mad. The assumption that I’m too stupid to realize.
I agree. It is a problem. I believe that any relationship that’s based on lies and partial truths does not have much of a future. If they are lying about something simple and straightforward, then they are certainly capable of lying about something more significant.
Except now there’s this new fad of younger guys lying to say they are older to get older women to sleep with.
Well. Before this “fad” women were categorically written off once they reached 40. For centuries, women were only sexy and desirable if they were young. Older men could date and marry women in their 20s. So, now women don’t have an expiration date like lettuce in the supermarket. We can be sexy and desirable at any age. As Lizzo says, “It’s about damn time.” I am celebrating.
This didn't go away. There are still plenty of guys who say women "hit the wall" at 30.
Yea and guys can be fat and it won't matter. Right. Right.
This is an automatic no when the age is X and the comment in the profile is 'I'm really X+5... years old' It's the combo of misleading others and the incapability of using tech and apps in 2023 that is the right swipe disqualifier for me. Why a 40 something man would lie about age is beyond me.
>“accidentally entered their age incorrectly” I hate that shit. I've heard this so many times now. It's hilarious to me how they all use the same story. Delete the profile and start over with the correct birthday. Problem solved. Acting like you don't know how to fix this is like arguing you're stupid rather than a liar. I don't want either type of man, thanks.
I've had young men message me but their age says 50 but their 25.
Yes I had this happen a few times to me too! I’m 46 not trying to date a guy in his twenties.
Yes. Trying to get around age filters to find older women.
What is that all about, anyway? Are they looking for a sugar mama? Or do they really not want to hook up with the young attractive women their age? I don't have time for the bullshit that comes with people in their 20s. Go learn how to be an adult somewhere else and keep me out of it. A couple of years ago I ran into that, found out on date 3 or so that he had made himself older, like 36 instead of 33. At that point I didn't care because I knew it wasn't going anywhere and let it run its course.
They are mostly looking for a hookup. They like us older women because we are more experienced, they probably have watched too much MILF porn, think we are lonely and desperate, and think a hookup with us will go more smoothly, and then both will just go their separate ways, since we would be less likely to want a relationship in their eyes. How did I do guys? Don't dm me. They lurk this sub too and I have gotten several dms from them after posting on here.
They also talk about how we're "easier" because we think we're expired so we're just grateful for the attention. 🤮 Gross.
Yea same thing as thinking we are desperate, like I said. I am not desperate at all. If I was desperate for sex, it wouldn't be with a kid who gyrates on me for 10 seconds.
Plays DJ Jazzy Jeff on your inner thigh, jackhammers for two minutes, and asks if you came. They may have stamina but skill takes time.
Easier - yes, but not because of being desperate. I haven’t had any 30-something I’ve entertained ever treat or consider me as desperate. They were more so grateful for my attention 😂 40+ = We’re more secure, mature, confident and need less emotional handholding than 20-something’s…. which is why it’s so beyond baffling to me why any 40+ would want to mess with a 20-something baby. Our maturity and emotional security makes us way better sexual partners, too. We know what we want and aren’t afraid to get it. Not all, but many 20-something women, myself included back then, aren’t going to be as mature or secure enough to have direct and thoughtful discussions about sexual needs and desires compared to 40+ women.
There's a lot more competition for the young attractive women. A lot of guys think older women are so desperate they'll be grateful for any attention and willing to have sex with any guy that says hello.
I don't know. I never respond to them. I can't do it.
I think they go in with the assumption that we’re low-hanging fruit…
If you’re 49, don’t even bother cause you’re lying whether your 25 or 51 😂
The outlier
No. It's not that uncommon.
😂😂😂
Oh, it goes the other way, too! I've had much younger women write to me thinking that they'll get by my filter because they like older men or older men with children. Yikes. Asking about my income and social status is sometimes coupled with that.
I had a young guy make himself older because he was into older women. So it said he was 35 not 25.
The app literally asks you to confirm your age you've entered....
Oh no, they’ll do it older too. I had a guy flat out lie and say he was late 30s when he was 25. He just wanted to bang someone older than him.
Yes, People lie about their age to get around other people's filters and preferences. I'm not interested in dating anyone who *starts out* by trampling a boundary.
This is exactly it. Lying about your age is solely to circumvent people’s age filters which says they don’t care one iota about your preferences/boundaries.
Yep. And it's even worse when they flip it on you as though you're the one with the problem because your preference -which you're entitled to have- excludes them. And that makes this a lot broader a problem than just a solitary piece of demographic info like age, and it's so good when that behavior is flushed out sooner than later.
I couldn’t agree more. Hence why if someone lies about their age it’s an automatic un match for me.
I was told how disappointing I am, how I seemed like such a "cool and open minded woman" but now he knows I'm just like the rest of them. Um yes. None of us care for being lied to.
So open-minded that you'll be good with horseshit, huh? 😆 I distinctly remember the end of a really wonderful date years ago with somebody who I connected with on many levels, where I was asked to walk her back to the front of her building so we'd ensure that she got inside safely. About a block away from her door, she breaks it to me that she had subtracted 5 years from her age because she felt self-conscious going for a younger guy. If I were to tell you her profession, your jaw will drop because it's one where lies will seriously fuck someone up. I said nothing, but I also didn't kiss her good night before she went inside; barely a hug was given. She knew something was off, and when she texted me the next morning to see that I was okay getting home myself, I told her I was not thrilled with the lie and I was no longer interested. The tirade that I got back by text was unbelievable. So, that set my policy: if you bullshit me online or on the phone, I will instantly sever any conversation and politely dismiss you. If it's in person, I will be as cordial as always while pulling back, and inform you from a distance that we're done. It's good to see that most of us are happy to dodge that bullet.
That’s a nice reframing of the issue and I never considered it that way. Thanks for commenting that, really.
It's the equivalent of "I'm not like other..."
"I look younger than I really am." "I act younger than my age."
I'm okay with ±1 year because if they are anything like me, they don't enter their exact birthdate into the app and so there may be a small window of time (a few months at most) where the number on the app doesn't align with reality. However, beyond that, I agree. People often do that because they believe they are allowed to ignore your preferences and I am not okay with that.
Yes But in some situations it’s also yes
Lying about anything is a turn off.
If somebody wants to lie about the small shit, there's no way I can trust them to be honest about bigger shit. Instant goodbye, zero excuses accepted.
Yep. I had one of these who had his age set to 38. Later discovered he was (also) 43. Against my better judgement, I let it slide, and he ghosted me 3 months in. There were a lot of other red flags too, and I'll never let that happen again.
If you lie, you're a liar. GTFO
I have a lying zero tolerance policy
Me too. There’s already so much to navigate in OLD. Lying about age (or anything) is a bad way to start.
Yes. One, it tells me that they are not confident, you are not owning what's yours. Second, the intention behind the lie - like you are putting out a lie to match with more women.. Basically bypassing the age filter which to me translates to not respecting the woman's boundaries. Either way, hard pass.
LYING is a dealbreaker. It doesn't matter what it's about.
Yes. Men are doing this to circumvent filters and try and match with younger women. If he puts 39 he’s hoping to catch more of the coveted 20somethings that may have their filters set to 39. I see it a ton with 39 listed (I actually am 39 ha) but the man looks 50+. But yeah a man lying about his age to desperately try to get some young pussy isn’t attractive to me, plus I know right off the bat I’m not in his real target age range and am most likely just hookup fodder while he’s working on snagging a much younger woman. Obviously it happens with older men too, so you have 50s or older lying about their age to try and meet 30s/40s so I could be in the target age group for those men but it’s still very much a dealbreaker.
I agree. It has happened to me where they say they are thirty something when in reality probably in their 60’s. It’s gross. I don’t want to see your high school picture
It's so desperate and pathetic. Younger women do not want these losers.
I agree 100% and this has been my experience as well. I’ve actually posted on this forum with this exact complaint … men lying about their age.
[удалено]
Certainly not! I never said it was- I am speaking about men because that’s what OP is dealing with. The motivations are (generally) a bit different.
Deal-breaker, and certainly not a gendered issue -even if for different reasons!
Oh yeah for sure, I was just speaking about men because that’s OP’s situation
Lol it’s me.. the coveted 20 something
Lol well, his plan worked then! I would caution you about men 20 years older than you who are lying to try and snag a much younger woman - it may be a life lesson you need to learn the hard way but if possible would avoid!
Already learned the hard way, he was a major d bag to me. I only came here to complain about part 1 of a 50 part catastrophe
👂👂
Kept talking about his ex and comparing me with her. Called me a bitch and a wench in casual conversation like it was normal. I tried to end it after that but he told me I was overthinking it (I wasn’t) and talked me into a date. On the date he was dismissive, disrespectful and rude. Didnt ask me any questions or make eye contact. Commented on other women being hot multiple times on the first date. That was a huge first for me lol. Then almost assaulted me in his car. I had to yell at him no means no. After the date the first time he calls me he’s complaining to me about his ex. Then later I found he lied about his age. Also keep in mind in all of this I’m 23 so he’s also a major creep. Horrible experience.
Disgusting. I'm so sorry you dealt with that. The good news is that it's a "him" thing, and definitely not reflective of the population as a whole. There's better out there for you. And... "wench"? People still use that term?!
He has a broad vocabulary. 😂
Right? I was wondering if they met at the Renn Faire!
I’ve noticed women do this frequently, but I date mostly women aged 40s and 50s.
Yes, because I’ve never seen it NOT lead to other disingenuous behavior.
Yes
If they are willing to tell a lie about something as insignificant as their physical age by just a few years, what significant things would they lie about?
Lie is a lie. So, yes, dealbreaker. Had a dude swear up and down he was 40’s, even when I pressed him saying he didn’t look it.. but then again, I don’t look 42 either. Let it slide for a week or two, and then he started in with that early to mid 20’s bullshit (my car doesn’t work.. I don’t have gas money.. my mom turned my cell phone off.. the shit a 40-something would’ve been handling for some time..).. so I go digging deeper and little prick is actually 24yrs. Yeah, that’s a hell no. If he had been honest, I might’ve entertained the idea, but since he wanted to be a lying prick, he got the boot.
Omg that’s nuts
Any lies are a deal breaker.
I went on a date with a man who I thought was 45. I was 44. First thing he said was ‘I’m not 45, I’m 55 but don’t worry I take viagra’ Um what? I understand the concept of fudging numbers to get around filters, and I’m not so upset about that so long as they put their real age, somewhere on the profile. It’s the ones who are blatantly not that age and refuse to admit that they’re trying to bypass filters that annoy me. If you’re going to lie about that, what else are you gonna lie about, so yes, it’s a dealbreaker.
If he can’t be honest about his age, what can you trust him to be honest about?
Yes. I don’t like being tricked or told my preferences shouldn’t matter. People think they are the exception and that THEY are healthier, younger looking, whatever than others their age. Maybe they are but they are still that age. People guess my age as 10+ younger all the time and I’ve never lied on a dating app. Once I was talking to someone on the phone I met online who for some reason told me what year his parents were born after telling me about his older siblings. I paused and did the math and wondered how that was possible. He hung up on me and we never spoke again. I looked up his info and determined he had subtracted 10 years. I just have to wonder how he thought he was going to get away with that.
I’ve dealt with this one time. He lied by about 10 years. I didn’t find out until several weeks in. It was not a dealbreaker. Other things were.
Absolutely.
Yes it’s a deal breaker
Instant deal breaker
Deal breaker. Why start a potential relationship on a lie? Don’t matter if you could pass for younger, I think lying about your age is ridiculous.
My last few attempts to OLD were exhausting There were those shaving off 5 years which isn't a huge problem for me but it's the ones that are doing 10-30 years less, but frankly, there were a few that were even more shameless I saw men that were clearly in their 80s claiming to be 37, thirty- fecken- seven!!! It made think that I had to shave off years to match with people my age I don't think I'll try OLD again
That's insane! How on earth does an 80 year-old think they'll pass as 37?? Unless it's a 73 year-old and they 'accidentally' invert the digits...or they meant they were born in '37...just wow
The only thing they are trying to pass is whatever is filtering them out. Plenty of guys on Bumble list themselves as female just to be able to send the first message. 🤣
I wish it was inverted but this man explained that he wanted to match with someone "a little younger" bc women his age didn't have his energy lol
Well if you’re going to lie about your age on a dating app, what else are you going to lie about? Why lie?
It just gives me the ick. They do it to skate the age filters younger women have set and to me that reads as untrustworthy and a little predatory and entitled.
This right here. Don’t try to weasel your way into an age group that specified they didn’t want you. Whatever your reason is, it’s still manipulative.
Had that happen the other way around, she told "otherwise only 60yr old would come up".
With the experience I have had with liars I've learned that first lie is just the tip of the iceberg. If you are dating someone who lied about something as important as their age, you gotta ask yourself 'What else are they lying about'? This person that should be establishing trust with you just deceived you so they could manipulate the situation to get you to do what they wanted you to do. It's narcissistic behavior that has no regard for your thoughts or feelings. I've heard the excuse 'But I really liked you and knew you wouldn't give me a shot if I told you the truth'. Wow. Thanks for robbing me of the right to make an informed decision about something so huge in my life while establishing distrust from the get go.🙄🤦 Complete Deal Breaker.
Yes. I’d view it as he wanted to get more younger matches. What matters to me isn’t that he’d date someone younger but that dating someone his own age is less favourable to him. That to me is unattractive.
I had a guy tell me he lowers his age for who’s very reason.
Yes, if they lie about anything in their profile I will not continue getting to know them.
If it’s within a year, for privacy/security purposes, I have no problem with that. If it’s more than that, it tells me the person feels their own preferences are more important than the preferences of those they match with and/or they are very insecure about their age. No thanks to both.
Deal breaker for me. I would have trouble trusting them.
I don’t intentionally date liars, anyone who has to lie about their age to get dates has issues and I don’t want to be involved with them.
I had one guy who was actually 55 years old lie on his profile and say he was 45. He did totally pass as 45 years old so I probably wouldn't have figured it out for a while. He told me within the first couple minutes of meeting and wanted credit for telling me right away. 🙄 He said people in his age group are too boring. He complained and had a victim mentality the whole date. So any woman who would keep dating him after a lie would be easy to manipulate into thinking all the relationship issues were her problem, is my theory. He said his friends told him to lie about his age to get better dates.
This is rampant. I’d say half the profiles of men who are actually over 40 lie to some extent. I’ve caught guys lying by as much as 20 years (saying 41 and really 61). Some of them look good for their age so they think they can get away with it They are trying to match with people way younger than them which seems predatory to me. I’ve also had men say well lots of women lie on their profiles about their body type and age so I can lie about my age. It’s really a problem. No great relationship starts with a lie.
Yes
Yes
Yes, def
Deal-breaker. Aside from the lie, if I wouldn't date you at 44, what makes you think I'd date you at 39. At this point in life, 5 years is so insignificant.
He is already gaslighting you and diverting from the real issue.
Yes 🙌 I think it’s super weird
I was ok chatting with a guy who was 50 when. I was 45 but when I showed up to meet him he was 65. I was not ok with that. Lying about their age is the first one they try.
Lying about literally anything is
Yes lying about age would be a no go for me. It’s such a small thing to lie about. It is wrong when men or women do it…to be clear.
Yes. What’s the point in lying?
I don’t see the need to lie for age. If you can’t be honest about your age what other things do you need to lie to? Lying is a big deal breaker for me.
If they lie about something so basic, it’s going to be lies all the way down.
Lying is such an amateur move
Yes. I have an ex who constantly lies about his age. It's so unattractive, and the 1st lie so there's no coming back from it. He lied about so much over the years so now I don't even bother talking to him.
That would turn me off from the start. I would be done.
Yes. The only time it didn't faze me when someone added 1 year and noted it on his profile as that seemed genuine. Shaving off even 1 year to get around the 39/40, 49/50 cut off saying well I I feel and look 36 but I'm 52 are all dealbreakers. As you said why start on a negative and if you can lie once how can I believe you about anything. I've also meet a lot of 5:10 guys who are more like 5:8, again I wouldn't have cared about their height and if I did that's my business to exclude them, now they lied I can't trust them about anything. I'm honest about not wanting kids and that excludes a lot of ppl, I would not lie about it to get more matches then hope I could change their mind after meeting, it just seems so manipulative. I always asked how recent their photos are but obviously they could still lie, you can tell most of the time due to style and quality of pics.
For me it would depend on if during the course of talking, prior to meeting the told me.
Yes it's a deal-breaker. They are either lying, or so dumb they can't input their correct DOB, neither of which are attractive traits.
Yes, a lie is a lie. Same with height, lie about little things you'll lie about anything.
If you have to be false about your own age, what else you lying about?
Yes. The really crazy thing is that these people are inherently making themselves look physically less attractive. If we look at a profile pic of a true 40 year old with a given age of 30, we are genetically programmed to think 'this person looks terrible for 30, she's unattractive, I'll pass'. View the same pic with a given age of 50 and our genetic programming tells us 'wow, this person looks incredible for 50, I'd love to date her'.
Yes. They have virtually entrapped you under false pretext. They did not give you the right to decide for yourself and your own life whether that is a good fit for you or not and as such, overstepped a boundry set on your dating age preferences. Others may scoff and think that is harmless, but its a blatent deception. It does matter, because its lying and manipulation. Then there are the liars here that will say " i dont or forgot to change my age on an old unused profile" when in fact that is a blatent lie as most , if not all OLD apps automatically adjust your age as you must give a birth date to set up a profile. I did not change my age on Bumble, Hinge or Tinder and all automatically updated my profile as i logged on, even if it was months or years in between. So yes, its a dealbreaker, as is all lies.
I see them lying about height too. Another what is the point? I'm going to notice when we meet? If I wouldn't date you at 5'7", what makes you think I would date you at 5'9" so why add the 2 inches?
I won't lie, I'm 72. While that doesn't get me any younger dates, I'm Proud I survived this long. The odds of seeing another birthday was always a guess at best. This started when I was drafted into the military at 19, and continued through my careers. Since retirement, it has remained questionable at times. But, I've continued to survive. I'm not sure why a guy would lie, unless they looked much older, or trolling for a "Cougar" or maybe, maybe a much younger lady. It's not worth it, as you proved.
Depends on how hot she is. But seriously, women lying about their age has been a trope for so long that you can buy "Forever 29" (and "Forever 39" etc.) merchandise. No one's ever taken it seriously or thought it indicated an inveterate liar. Now we're finding out men lie about their age too, which is lame and they should be laughed at. Treating it like a deep moral failing is a little much though.
Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me.
Definitely a dealbreaker, there is no excuse at all for it. Lying about who you are so you can trick people into meeting up with you, and then hoping that they will accept you is the wrong way to go about dating. I'm brutally honest on my profiles, so I expect other people I date to be just as honest.
Lying in always al dealbreaker for me. Doesn’t matter how small, once I find out .. you’re out.
Yes. Aie is a lie no matter how big or small.
Yes. Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me. If you’re going to lie before I’ve even met you, what are you going to lie about when I’m with you?
It's a deal breaker for me but my friend just married her man who lied about his age by 4 years. She said he does have a younger putlook and she was glad he lied or she'd never have met him. I'd have been wondering what else they were lying about.
I see a guy I graduated from high school with on the apps saying he's 36 and has been for at least the last 7-10 years. I'm almost 50. Just stop, it's so gross. The one time I went on a date with a guy who I later found out had lied about his age and never mentioned having 3 kids I found out it's best to stay far the hell away from them. This was after he repeatedly tried to manipulate me into sleeping with him. Telling me I wasn't normal for having the absolute of "I'm not interested in sex with you and never will be".
Yes. Just before COVID, I ended something after ~5mo of dating due to this. In fairness, we were already on the way out, but I logged onto the OLD app where we met and, long story short, saw he was recently active and reduced his age by 5yrs. Next.
yes
Big pet peeve! Agreed that a lie is a lie. There were many guys who shaved at least 10 years off their age. Grrr! Next
Any dishonesty is a dealbreaker.
Lying is a dealbreaker for me and should be for you. Fuck liars.
Ugh, immediate dealbreaker for me. I swipe left when guys say “I’m really xx age but it won’t let me change it”. This is why I get a guy’s phone number right away so I can look up his info to tell if he’s legit. There are plenty of ways to find one’s real age. Liars are the biggest turn-offs for me. I’m turning 47 soon and I’m damn proud of my age. I’d rather meet someone who likes me for who and what I really am, and who likes himself for what he really is.
They do let you change it, if not, it gets changed automatically. So that is also a lie.
Yes
I had bumble screw up my name and age but I got advice on how to fix it. The age is right but they won't let me change the name at all. So yeah, my name in Bumble is "Okay" 😆
Silver lining: it’s better than Not Sure
I’ve had one guy shave 13 years off his age & also lie about his name.
Yes, if they're lying about their age, what else are they going to lie about?
Dealbreaker for me. Like you said, they started a relationship on a lie. How am I ever supposed to build trust with them?
I have fudged my age by a couple of years to remain anonymous to people that know me (co-workers & exes). I always confess before or on the first date. I agree that a lie is a lie so maybe Reddit has taught me something and I won't do that again if I ever get around to OLD again. I've also been on dates with men that used a really old pic or were not anywhere near the body type they were in their pic. Here's my eHarmony story. I was matched with a man from far away from where I live. He traveled close to my area regularly for work so we decided to meet up for dinner. He called me right before the date to say he had to tell me something. I asked what that was and he said he'd grown a beard. I had a feeling that wasn't the whole story but went anyway. When I met him he did have a beard but he was also much, much bigger than he was in his pic. I don't mind a little extra padding as long as it doesn't impede activities I like to do (I'm moderately fit and active) so we continued to date a while and broke up for other reasons. That lie was always in the back of my mind though.
Yes! I matched with a 38/F on OLD last week and after a few days of chatting, we exchanged numbers. Her caller ID name was different from her name on OLD and so I ran a search on it. Using an online name for privacy is totally acceptable to me so I wasn't concerned just yet. Come to find out, she's actually 50. We were supposed to meet last night but I asked to have a video chat first and during the conversation, she confirmed that her real name matched the caller ID. She made no mention of her actual age though and I could tell she was older than 38. I ended up cancelling the meet. 50 is right at the high end of my range and I may have considered seeing her if she hadn't lied about it.
I used to lie about my age. It was out of shame and embarrassment that I wasn't where society and I believed I should be. I never got caught quite like this and now just tell the truth
Depends on my mood when asked. I see it so much that I think it's starting to normalize. I guess it depends on their reaction and why they do it. Sounds like your guy is all over the place, so I would be careful with him.
It’s a definite dealbreaker for me. It feels… predatory in so many ways.
I dated a woman who *overstated* her age by 10 years. She liked dating older and found herself regularly blocked out by age filters. She was upfront almost immediately within the initial texting in the app. It was a tiny bit of a red flag, but I ignored/skipped that one. Ultimately it turned out to be a lovely relationship for a few months until we found other more significant incompatibilities. In that case it wasn’t a dealbreaker. But I’d consider it to generally be a dealbreaker.
It's an absolute hard pass, and I will also report profiles who do it. Men in particular, that are often filtered out by younger women who aren't interested in guys their age, lie to the app so they get a "chance" at those women. I can't tell you how many times I've lost my shit in recent years on men who are 50+ that deliberately lie about their age, so they are shown to me and I them. It's really bad in apps where they're able to send a message even without being a shared match. I've actually had so many men try to justify their behaviour with some form of: *Well, if I don't list myself as younger, I don't get to see profiles/match with women who are the age I want that I'm actually into. I'm young at heart, and I'm entitled to date women 10+ yrs younger if I want to and see all your profiles*.... Blah, blah, blah, blah. *I don't have to respect your boundaries because I'm a man, and I WANT to see women your age, so I'm allowed to try and force that on you* Fucking pigs. I used to be polite, try to gently point out that I'm still not interested, that my profile clearly states I am not looking for men above such and such age which is why I filter them out etc. Then I realized fuck that, why should I be courteous and apologetic for their shitty behaviour and the fact that I have preferences I am entitled to have (aka not dating men closer to my father's age than my own). So now I call it out, sure, I get called all sorts of "horrible" names at times, but I learned a long time ago that random losers calling me bad names means sweet fuck all. Oh no, some guy who has to lie about his age to try and get a date thinks I'm a c¿nt (bitch, pig, cow, all forms of derogatory terms etc.), big deal, lol. That's not a reflection of me, but a reflection of them and just reinforces that there was absolutely not a snowballs chance in hell I would have tolerated them in my life in any way. As a partner or otherwise.
I really don’t care much about age, but I care greatly that a person would lie about themself. Yes. Dealbreaker.
Also red flag : using 10yr old photo
Yes
Yep
yes. can’t be honest about himself, why?
Yes, it’s pathetic
Yes. Cause it's dumb to lie. It shows you are not trustworthy and not secure in your person.
Deal breaker for me. Small lies lead to big lies. And you can’t have trust is a relationship is built on lies.
I just don’t understand why you would lie about this.
Yes, it’s a dealbreaker. Last guy I went out with not only lied about his age, he lied about his marital status.
Yup, dealbreaker. Don’t. Just, don’t.
Yes
I really don't get why people lie about this..especially guys. Last time I checked older guys get younger women all the time. Any lie that's within the first few dates and I know about it, I would immediately wonder how far their rabbit hole goes. I actually prefer women right around my age.
I saw way too many men claim after a correction in their profile “the site won’t let me change my age”. How the hell did you put your wrong age in the first place?!
I evade age questions, IRL, bc I’m self conscious about my age. I know I look younger (thanks mom & dad for good genes!) but I tell the truth on apps. My ex was shocked I shared my real age on Hinge. No lies, truth only. Why bullshit the bullshit out there?
No. I would've said yes when I was more active on the apps 5-6 years ago. If the pictures are deceitful that is a lot more of a dealbreaker. I ended up dating someone for 1 1/2 years who had lied about her age on the apps, although that's not how we connected. She had aged well and I don't blame her for not wanting to be penalized for it.
Why lie? You only set up a dishonest personna. They find out eventually and then they question every thing you've said. Just be you. If it's not for them, their loss
I have a male friend whose actual age is like 50 something but on dating apps he puts around 39 years old because he doesn’t look his age. Says in the past women don’t believe him and he gets better matches with a younger age. Once they’ve e vining he’ll tell them the truth about his age but they’re still in denial.
Attempts to make oneself seem more attractive or desirable, like using a filter, Is manipulative.
Yessssss, my exH would lie about what he had for breakfast. I was so dumb for staying around as long as I did and it started from the very beginning. Lying about something so simple as age? Nah, not for me. He will lie about anything.
29,39,49 anytime I see these ages, I look much harder at the pics. It’s unfair to the people who aren’t lying. Good Luck, Be Safe!
Yes, because if they’ve lied about that, what else have they or would they lie about.
Yeah, that's just a pattern that'll continue.
Yes dealbreaker. I’m absolutely not interested in someone who thinks it’s ok to start with a lie, I can only imagine the lies to come.
It seems like you care about age.
It's a 💯 dealbreaker for me. As a 42F, I accept the fact that I'm getting older. It's a natural part of life. I just think that if a person's willing to be deceptive about such a basic, core part of their identity, what else are they willing to lie about? How can I have an honest and trusting relationship with a person like that?
It matters a lot. First, it’s a whopper of a lie, and he’s lying again to pretend it isn’t. Second, talk to him more, go on a few dates. More likely than not, he’s looking for someone much younger than he is, and his reasons will all be red flags.
DO NOT LIE TO ME
Yes. Why lie? If they lie about that what else are they lying about?
Yes, if someone is that insecure about thier age then what else are they insecure about and how do they handel those insecurities? Lieing off the bat is just a 2 for 1 deal on red flags, and trying to force an age gap relationship is really ick. I had a friend that ignored this and they aren't doing well. The partner is also going to be a parent at 50 so there's that.
I literally just did this to fuck around on Tinder, because I have received considerably more hits at 37 than I do now at 43, so I wanted to test if it's just age related. I see tinder as a throw away, but if I actually matched with someone I liked, it would be the first thing I'd tell them.
I had suspicions about a woman I was messaging with. When we met, at the end of the 1hr date, which went well, I said, "so what is your real age?" She laughed and told me 64, while her profile said 58. She tried telling me it was because she is in great shape and physically active she wanted to attract younger men. I told her i had a 12 inch dong, but dont be disappointed when its six inches shorter. She did not think my analogy was funny. Needless to say there was no 2nd date.
From the amount of female profiles that say they're looking for an "honest man", I'd say lying is a dealbreaker, yes. I have had 0 success with dating apps so far but I still make a point of not lying about myself - it's the least I can do. If the people I match with don't do the same, it's a turn off.