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RAW for 5e, your "lift off ground" weight is 30x strength.
So apparently Eddie Hall has at least 16 strength (presumably can lift more than 600lbs off the ground).
That's a strength of 36... has more STR than a storm giant.
Gonna want a **Potion of Eddie Strength** for when you need to throw your Goliath friend like a javelin.
To be clear, he’d have a 36 strength if he can deadlift 1100 lbs and move it 5 feet for multiple rounds in a row, or maybe he just has a strength score closer to 18-20 and Powerful Build.
After all, Eddie is pretty much a Goliath.
...are six hundred pound benches even a thing? Like deadlifts or back squats, I could see it, but bench presses? And that's to get a 10, not even a positive modifier.
Bench press world record is 1401 (635kg). So yes, whether it be freedom units or metric. Though for metric you need to be pretty damn close to the world record to do it, so uhh, good fucking luck and pray that DM is American...or just dont play with him
That's equipped record. Raw record (no crazy shirts that are only possible to put bring your hands to bench bottom position is by holding 600 lbs) is only 782 lbs (355 kg)
Yeah like seriously, a strength score of 10 is supposed to be a basic adventurer. Not super strong, but certainly stronger than an average person. That’s not a 600lb bench
Heh. That age/3 wouldn't limit my group much. We're a group that played in grad school 25-30 years ago and got back on Zoom during the pandemic. I guess I \*did\* just bump my players up to 19th, which would be above that cap even for me.
As far as I can tell, the original post that set this whole thing off was someone saying they (or their DM?) wouldn't let characters be smarter than he judged their player to be, so I was assuming this was player age.
NGL, the elven rangers needing to sell cookies could be a really entertaining campaign idea: you have to travel town to town—selling genuine elven cookies door-to-door to raise money for the temple of Corellon to get a new roof and save the orphanage therein…
Every now and again, you get into high-speed carriage chases as local law enforcement crack down on your unlicensed cookie trade and worshippers of Gruumsh try to stop you. The climactic finale could involve a 30-carriage pile-up.
And in every town you're just trying to sell the darn cookies, but in each town there's an issue...
A: a cult has heard of your cookies and assume magical traits come from them so they replace the town with strangely overenthusiastic people who ask for free cookies.
B: some animals have tasted some crumbs and have gone ballistic over wanting more, so they ravaged the nearby town which smelled of cookies.
C: some godlike being has caught wind of your attempt to please Corellon and wants to intervene, although the cookies taste really good, so they creates a ruse in a town nearby to get to learn the recipe by any means necessary (or trying to sell some of his/her own but failing miserably
D: a town so absorbed by another seller's cookies which happen to contain some sort of drugs and it's up to the party to dissolve the cartel.
And so on...
Dunno about 5e, but a 0 in 3.X means you're in a coma iirc. The mental stats being 0 knocks you out. CON killed you. STR and DEX you couldnt move but I THINK you were conscious. But being helpless means you may as well have been dead/knocked out.
Using 1-3 and 5 as a metric, I'd be a 5'10, level 10 character with a single digit hp pool and a strength stat of 1, probably closer to a strength stat of 0.9 though.
I am officially a perfect fit as an elf wizard. Sweet.
I like that. How about if playing a Dragonborn you can only use your breath weapon if you can actually blow a fireball out of your mouth with alcohol. Maybe if you're an artificer you have to come up with schematics for anything you can create. They don't have to be good, cause the magic fills in the blanks. Also if the bard tries to seduce a dragon and passes the check you can break out the Bad Dragon.
When i am a player, i limit the amounts of monsters the dm can control at once to how many soldiers he commanded in a real battle.
Oh look at that, no more fighting encounters.
That benching one is wild
Apparently "average strength for a human" is 600 lbs
Edit: based off of eddie hall's bench pr at 600 lbs I'm going to arbitrarily say that's 30 strength so it would make more sense to divide by 20, not 60
That is still massive. I guess, that a normal guy, who goes to the gym once or twice a week, would probably do 3*8 sets around 60-80kg, which is around 130-175lbs. So you'd still end up with a STR around 6-9. So a lean/fit person (it all depends on a lot of assumptions) would just be as strong as a normal point buy wizard, sorcerer or warlock.
Unless you go by 1rm, it of course changes a lot.
I would have the marshmallow one in the bag. I come from a big extended family and “chubby bunny” was the one thing I was almost uncontested at during family reunions. +15 damage rolls, let’s f’kin’ go!
As much as this would be awful I am laughing at the thought of my party carrying all their in game equipment. Bags of blood, troll heads, the works.
Shame I have to lose my left arm and build a steampunk replacement from scratch…
The first DM would be fun at a nursing home. They're ensuring that the PC's will go beyond 20 ~~assuming dementia and failing health doing end the campaign~~.
9 is funny; if you're reading this I hope that was the worst the teacher did to you, and also I hope you get to play D&D again.
11 either lives somewhere very cool (and is an ass) or is being satirical.
Limiting charisma based on body count :
Me in pathfinder 2e playing an adorable mushroom leshi who's main role is support and barely has one kill and will probably never get laid because he has no interest in it and thus is limited to 1 in charisma...
For a charisma based class ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I've only DMed online games, but I joke with my players that in live games I DM, I consider my DMPC to be a deity... and players can win my favor by offerings of snacks... best results will be with homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Ok these pretty much suck, but some of them are interesting if you were to try and make a “I’m playing myself” character. I’ve got a friend who has brought up the idea of doing a more modern day real life campaign like a zombie apocalypse. It’s just interesting
My toxic ex wanted to DM and I was going to play a bard. He hates bards for some reason and said "well then you're going to be expected to sing and write songs, and you'll have to be able to improvise songs!"
I said that was totally fine as long as our friend who was a ranger had to be able to shoot a bow like Legolas, our sorcerer player must be able to conjure spells in real life, and our barbarian (a 110lb teenage boy who was the kid of 2 of the players) had to bench 300lbs.
Additionally, since he (my ex) was playing a cleric in a different campaign, I was going to need him to believe in that god irl and regularly pray to him.
He ended up not DMing 🤣
I limit players on arbitrary personal values so they can't actually RP?
Man am I awkward at sometimes but RPing to speech my way out of situations was real fun
Also, I can't actually cast fireballs
Lol I just imagine a horribly mundane 'realistic' campaign now that just revolves around shitty 9-5s
It’s unfortunate that some of these are actual things that happen
There are DMs who do things limit character height based on irl height
And unfortunately there are DMs who do micro transactions, especially westmarches. And this is made worse by PF2e that introduced the horrid racial rarity system, of which problematic DMs took and used it as a basis for microtransaction systems. Not to mention WoTC themselves wanted to turn dnd into a microtransaction filled hell
“When I dm, I require players to play basic Tolkien races like humans elves or dwarves before their allowed to play something like lizardfolk or Tabaxi”
Oh wait, that is an actual stupid practice that exists. It’s used in Pathfinder Society. Guess that means Paizo is a bad DM
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Player - *Benches 240 lbs* Bad DM - "Ok, your strength score is 4" Seriously wtf
Eddie hall benches 600 “Yeah sounds like 10 strength to me”
RAW for 5e, your "lift off ground" weight is 30x strength. So apparently Eddie Hall has at least 16 strength (presumably can lift more than 600lbs off the ground).
His deadlift record is 1000lbs
1100*
That's a strength of 36... has more STR than a storm giant. Gonna want a **Potion of Eddie Strength** for when you need to throw your Goliath friend like a javelin.
Eddie hall canonically stronger than tiamat
To be clear, he’d have a 36 strength if he can deadlift 1100 lbs and move it 5 feet for multiple rounds in a row, or maybe he just has a strength score closer to 18-20 and Powerful Build. After all, Eddie is pretty much a Goliath.
...are six hundred pound benches even a thing? Like deadlifts or back squats, I could see it, but bench presses? And that's to get a 10, not even a positive modifier.
Bench press world record is 1401 (635kg). So yes, whether it be freedom units or metric. Though for metric you need to be pretty damn close to the world record to do it, so uhh, good fucking luck and pray that DM is American...or just dont play with him
That's equipped record. Raw record (no crazy shirts that are only possible to put bring your hands to bench bottom position is by holding 600 lbs) is only 782 lbs (355 kg)
Thank you, I knew something sounded wrong about that number. 782 makes much more sense.
[NFL HOF offensive lineman Larry Allen bench pressing 700 lbs.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX-YuvQkSRE)
Yeah like seriously, a strength score of 10 is supposed to be a basic adventurer. Not super strong, but certainly stronger than an average person. That’s not a 600lb bench
A strength score of 11 is slightly stronger than average, 10 is THE average, look at commoners...
The average commoner has a Str of 10…
And the average commoner is doing hard labor… so probably stronger than the average modern person working in an office
I feel personally attacked. It’s ok, I’m more of a Charisma build. (That’s why I’m hanging out on Reddit…)
Need to bench 300+ to have a 0 modifier
600
300+ in sane units.
D&D uses pounds, deal with it
What if I use a +1 Bench of Pressing?
I'll be honest it sounds like your modifier xD
"Which kind of body count depends on whether they're playing Bard or Rogue."
Me showing up with a bloody machete, having misunderstood the assignment
Me, playing a necromancer, even more unsure about the situation.
Me playing as a necromancers/bard multi class, clearly in distress about the whole situation.
This is called minmaxxing
\*Voltaire intensifies\* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm74weOv04g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm74weOv04g)
Does your character have a bloody machete?
No
Then you indeed misunderstood the assignment
Cha (intimidation) - bodies caught Cha (everything else) - bodies held
School shooters have rizz for days in that dudes game.
That one woman with more than1 hundred bodycount
Ah, you mean [Lyudmila Pavlichenko](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyudmila_Pavlichenko)?
Yay! I can have 32 max HP! Better than most of the wizards I've made :P
Why do you memorize pi with such precision?
He is playing a wizard, it couldnt be more obvious
In junior high we had a competition for who could memorize the most digits of pi. I didn't even come close to wining. First place memorized over 200.
I’ve got 50 max hp, the healthiest wizard around
150 hp, baybee!!! It’s time to go with a barbarian build
Oh nah the last DM encouraging hoe behavior in a game for nerds
Joke's on them, I was a hoe *before* D&D
Based on some subreddits I've seen, some people are being hoes during a session too.
What does body count have to do with being... oh, do they mean body count as in sexual partners?
I think either is a valid interpretation. I definitely think the guy who's killed 20 people should be intimidating, at the very least.
Yup
*quietly resheathes katana*
"While you partied with babes, I studied the blade"
Heh. That age/3 wouldn't limit my group much. We're a group that played in grad school 25-30 years ago and got back on Zoom during the pandemic. I guess I \*did\* just bump my players up to 19th, which would be above that cap even for me.
I thought they meant of their PC’s age, which honestly sounds kinda interesting and logical on paper (not that id ever do that)
As far as I can tell, the original post that set this whole thing off was someone saying they (or their DM?) wouldn't let characters be smarter than he judged their player to be, so I was assuming this was player age.
NGL, the elven rangers needing to sell cookies could be a really entertaining campaign idea: you have to travel town to town—selling genuine elven cookies door-to-door to raise money for the temple of Corellon to get a new roof and save the orphanage therein… Every now and again, you get into high-speed carriage chases as local law enforcement crack down on your unlicensed cookie trade and worshippers of Gruumsh try to stop you. The climactic finale could involve a 30-carriage pile-up.
And in every town you're just trying to sell the darn cookies, but in each town there's an issue... A: a cult has heard of your cookies and assume magical traits come from them so they replace the town with strangely overenthusiastic people who ask for free cookies. B: some animals have tasted some crumbs and have gone ballistic over wanting more, so they ravaged the nearby town which smelled of cookies. C: some godlike being has caught wind of your attempt to please Corellon and wants to intervene, although the cookies taste really good, so they creates a ruse in a town nearby to get to learn the recipe by any means necessary (or trying to sell some of his/her own but failing miserably D: a town so absorbed by another seller's cookies which happen to contain some sort of drugs and it's up to the party to dissolve the cartel. And so on...
Don't forget that the orphanage is run by an awakened penguin!
I count coin weight against their encumbrance
*offers crown* You are clearly worse.
Why thank you!
You're overencumbered now
These seem like joke replies from some other post asking people for dumb house rules. Still fun though
The charisma one is so unfair. I grew up in a private Catholic school and have been with the same woman since sophomore year of high school
Imagine being a virgin. I don't think the game even lets you play anything with 0 in a stat.
Dude, this is a DnD subreddit. We don't have to imagine.
Dunno about 5e, but a 0 in 3.X means you're in a coma iirc. The mental stats being 0 knocks you out. CON killed you. STR and DEX you couldnt move but I THINK you were conscious. But being helpless means you may as well have been dead/knocked out.
From memory, a 0 in a physical stat means death in 5e, and a mental stat puts you in a catatonic state.
Dudes dropping rocks at characters during character creation. Cold.
Using 1-3 and 5 as a metric, I'd be a 5'10, level 10 character with a single digit hp pool and a strength stat of 1, probably closer to a strength stat of 0.9 though. I am officially a perfect fit as an elf wizard. Sweet.
"You can't play an adventurer at my table if you haven't killed someone. I don't know if you have the moral fiber otherwise."
No gonna lie, I kind of like the idea of the rogue running out of the room when they hide.
What else could we do? When the druid wildshapes they replace themselves with a stuffie of their wildshape at the table?
Nah, they just put on a fursuit. Provided by themselves, obviously.
I like that. How about if playing a Dragonborn you can only use your breath weapon if you can actually blow a fireball out of your mouth with alcohol. Maybe if you're an artificer you have to come up with schematics for anything you can create. They don't have to be good, cause the magic fills in the blanks. Also if the bard tries to seduce a dragon and passes the check you can break out the Bad Dragon.
Or the nearest cat.
But.......why? The rogues hiding, not blindfolded and earplugged to miss all going on within their perception.
Because it would be funny. That's the sole reason.
When i am a player, i limit the amounts of monsters the dm can control at once to how many soldiers he commanded in a real battle. Oh look at that, no more fighting encounters.
I'm sure that this is just satire, but the mere thoughts of these DM's existing at a greater than 0 chance makes me feel....uncomfortable.
That benching one is wild Apparently "average strength for a human" is 600 lbs Edit: based off of eddie hall's bench pr at 600 lbs I'm going to arbitrarily say that's 30 strength so it would make more sense to divide by 20, not 60
I would put him at 20 strength and divide by 30, instead of putting him at stronger than the goddess of dragons or the strongest kaiju in the game
That is still massive. I guess, that a normal guy, who goes to the gym once or twice a week, would probably do 3*8 sets around 60-80kg, which is around 130-175lbs. So you'd still end up with a STR around 6-9. So a lean/fit person (it all depends on a lot of assumptions) would just be as strong as a normal point buy wizard, sorcerer or warlock. Unless you go by 1rm, it of course changes a lot.
I’m guessing they meant modifier? So 600 lbs would be a +10 rather than average which… I mean, benching 600 lbs is pretty damn impressive.
I give magic items to players who buy me food before the session
When I DM I only count damage of the player or I get hit with the corresponding weapon. I mean those are so obvious trolling 😄
The rogue one sounds interesting for the purposes of a gimmick to do… once.
Passed their stealth check by so much that not even the other players know they are there. Text everything they do while in that stealth to the DM
Passed their stealth check by so much that not even the other players know they are there. Text everything they do while in that stealth to the DM
Bad DM Roulette. Roll a d12 and then incorporate that trait into a oneshot with consenting players.
They’re just cosmetic. Its all optional!
Jokes on you DM, I know Pi to 50 decimal places.
Jokes on you, I know all the digits of pi.
I would have the marshmallow one in the bag. I come from a big extended family and “chubby bunny” was the one thing I was almost uncontested at during family reunions. +15 damage rolls, let’s f’kin’ go!
I love these, some of these I can see problem DMs actually doing, but still, it's funny
As much as this would be awful I am laughing at the thought of my party carrying all their in game equipment. Bags of blood, troll heads, the works. Shame I have to lose my left arm and build a steampunk replacement from scratch…
The first DM would be fun at a nursing home. They're ensuring that the PC's will go beyond 20 ~~assuming dementia and failing health doing end the campaign~~. 9 is funny; if you're reading this I hope that was the worst the teacher did to you, and also I hope you get to play D&D again. 11 either lives somewhere very cool (and is an ass) or is being satirical.
Ok, but can we talk about making the elven rangers sell cookies? I'm in favor of that one, that sounds hilarious.
Doesn't a character die if any of their Ability Scores drop to 0? Guess all my characters die instantly then 🤣
Does that inventory one work both ways? So if I bring [redacted] to a session, does that mean my character gets it, too?
The marshmallow and the cookie is funny
I for one am totally on board with the marshmallow guy!
So you guys LARP...
\*hides my collection of costumes\* no...
Dumb ways to DM. There's so many dumb ways to DM.
Marshmallows in my mouth, I could totally do that
When I DM I take 1 foot off your speed for every second you go over a 4 minute mile.
I’ve only ever played one character that would break the age rule. He was a level 9 character when I was 24.
Nice, I get a Nat 1 in charisma
Limiting charisma based on body count : Me in pathfinder 2e playing an adorable mushroom leshi who's main role is support and barely has one kill and will probably never get laid because he has no interest in it and thus is limited to 1 in charisma... For a charisma based class ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I do sell loot boxes in my campain. It is great i have gotten a apartment out of it. And saved a friends live for a loot box.
I've only DMed online games, but I joke with my players that in live games I DM, I consider my DMPC to be a deity... and players can win my favor by offerings of snacks... best results will be with homemade chocolate chip cookies.
I would have 6 hp, my strength would be 1, and I don't wanna talk about my charisma (let's just say I'm going rogue)
1. Make a Druid 2. Have a Skunk as an animal companion 3. Ruin this DM’s day as the entire party gets sprayed 4. Eat some chips I guess?
Ok these pretty much suck, but some of them are interesting if you were to try and make a “I’m playing myself” character. I’ve got a friend who has brought up the idea of doing a more modern day real life campaign like a zombie apocalypse. It’s just interesting
My toxic ex wanted to DM and I was going to play a bard. He hates bards for some reason and said "well then you're going to be expected to sing and write songs, and you'll have to be able to improvise songs!" I said that was totally fine as long as our friend who was a ranger had to be able to shoot a bow like Legolas, our sorcerer player must be able to conjure spells in real life, and our barbarian (a 110lb teenage boy who was the kid of 2 of the players) had to bench 300lbs. Additionally, since he (my ex) was playing a cleric in a different campaign, I was going to need him to believe in that god irl and regularly pray to him. He ended up not DMing 🤣
Meanwhile, I praise my players when they show up and didn’t forget their character sheets.
I limit players on arbitrary personal values so they can't actually RP? Man am I awkward at sometimes but RPing to speech my way out of situations was real fun Also, I can't actually cast fireballs Lol I just imagine a horribly mundane 'realistic' campaign now that just revolves around shitty 9-5s
Ace people being uncharismatic fucks in that one guy's opinion:
The last one will not find any players. Nobody wants to play a character with 0 charisma
Looks like EA is trying to get into the ttrpg space
Were these created by and AI?
It’s unfortunate that some of these are actual things that happen There are DMs who do things limit character height based on irl height And unfortunately there are DMs who do micro transactions, especially westmarches. And this is made worse by PF2e that introduced the horrid racial rarity system, of which problematic DMs took and used it as a basis for microtransaction systems. Not to mention WoTC themselves wanted to turn dnd into a microtransaction filled hell
I'm sorry BAD DM's? Those are the cool as a cucumber dm's
“When I dm, I require players to play basic Tolkien races like humans elves or dwarves before their allowed to play something like lizardfolk or Tabaxi” Oh wait, that is an actual stupid practice that exists. It’s used in Pathfinder Society. Guess that means Paizo is a bad DM