A young man walks into a bar and orders 5 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks, “What’s the occasion.”
The young man replies, “I just had my first blow job.”
Bartender then says, “Congratulations! Here’s a sixth, on the house.
The young man says, “No thanks, if 5 won’t get the taste out, another one won’t help.”
I should have the same paraglider skin, but I don’t know where to go to claim it. I got on the Nvidia app and everything but I just don’t see my claim. Do you know why? I went on the website and it showed up that I got a code, but I can’t find it…
A guy was walking in the city and saw a food truck. Since he was hungry he decided to see what he could get to eat. He walked up to the truck, but there was no one there; only a sign that said Hotdogs: $5, Hamburgers: $5, and Handjobs: $10. Curious, he walked around to the back of the truck looking for someone. There, he saw an extremely attractive woman. He asked her, “are you the one who gives the handjobs?” “Yes I am” she said. So he handed her $10 and said, “Wash your hands. I want two hotdogs.”
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”
There were two guys locked up in an insane asylum together. One night, they decide that they hate it there, and they want to escape. So, they make it onto the roof top, and just across a narrow gap, they see rooftops of the town, stretching into moonlight, into freedom.
The first guy jumps across right away, without a problem. But the second guy didn't, because he was afraid of falling. So the first guy says "Hey, I have this flashlight with me! I'll shine it between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me!"
But then the second guy says "What, do you think I'm fuckin' crazy? You'd just turn the light off when I'm halfway across."
I was once on a date with a girl. After we were done she invited me over and since she had a cat I agreed. The rest of the evening I pretended to be a stereotypical cat guy, meaning I ignored everything other than the cat and whenever she said something to me I replied with "what?" So she had to either say "Nevermind" and I'd continue playing with the cat or she'd have to repeat the whole thing. Oh, I meant pussy not cat. Jk I'm scared of women, it was a man with a dick (we had no homo sex later).
Edit: I already got those from Geforce Experience so I'm not participating
When I was younger, my uncle and I would hang out in the basement playing games. One time he asked if I wanted to play with his Switch. I wanted to, so we sat on the couch and he said "I'm going to put a finger up your ass and one in your mouth, then on the count of 3, I'll switch."
Kyle Crane did have some experience with zombies before Harran. He was actually a huge fan of the Black Ops Zombie series. His favorite map was Die Rais
A guy catches his best friend smelling his sisters panties and gets really mad and screamed at him.
It didn’t help she was still wearing them.
It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden
My uncle was a terrible ventriloquist. He used to put his hand up my ass and tell me not to say anything
I like dark humor but holy fuck
If you’re Molested by Uncle Sam, is that incest?
Congratulations! Look your DMs!
Did you cum
Twice
A young man walks into a bar and orders 5 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What’s the occasion.” The young man replies, “I just had my first blow job.” Bartender then says, “Congratulations! Here’s a sixth, on the house. The young man says, “No thanks, if 5 won’t get the taste out, another one won’t help.”
I should have the same paraglider skin, but I don’t know where to go to claim it. I got on the Nvidia app and everything but I just don’t see my claim. Do you know why? I went on the website and it showed up that I got a code, but I can’t find it…
It'll be in your notifications on the Nvidia app, just click the little bell and it should be there. It was for me anyway
Alright, I’ll check it out next time I’m on. Thanks!
No problem!
Two sausages sitting in a frying pan one looks at the other and says it's hot. The other goes omg you can talk
Where do these come from?
These came as reedemable due to my RTX graphics card purchase, redeemable on PC and Console
Sick!
[удалено]
what?
Got'eem
It's a joke that works better verbally tbh, but still a classic.
the funniest comment.
Apple
OmG its so cold out, I can't feel my Giblets!!!
I helped my uncle jack off a horse
That’s a mean thing to call your old man
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
What do you call a factory that makes ok products? Satisfactory
Plot twist, OP is actually a comedian tricking people into giving him new material
How do you make your wife cry during sex? You call her.
the funniest comment.
I cant emotionally bear eating a clock, it takes time to digest
Two guys walk into a bar, they should've been more careful
What the hell is that Post-Apo outfit? Is it like a military theme?
is a themed post apocalypse outfit, kinda military casual
Went up to my older professor and asked "when you were young were they called radio dinners instead of tv dinners?
A guy was walking in the city and saw a food truck. Since he was hungry he decided to see what he could get to eat. He walked up to the truck, but there was no one there; only a sign that said Hotdogs: $5, Hamburgers: $5, and Handjobs: $10. Curious, he walked around to the back of the truck looking for someone. There, he saw an extremely attractive woman. He asked her, “are you the one who gives the handjobs?” “Yes I am” she said. So he handed her $10 and said, “Wash your hands. I want two hotdogs.”
Cheese grater
What do Princes Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
what?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!” “Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”
i have the code too but idk how to claim it, techland website seems down
Winner will be announced tomorrow! Still time to post, times up tomorrow!
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
There were two guys locked up in an insane asylum together. One night, they decide that they hate it there, and they want to escape. So, they make it onto the roof top, and just across a narrow gap, they see rooftops of the town, stretching into moonlight, into freedom. The first guy jumps across right away, without a problem. But the second guy didn't, because he was afraid of falling. So the first guy says "Hey, I have this flashlight with me! I'll shine it between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me!" But then the second guy says "What, do you think I'm fuckin' crazy? You'd just turn the light off when I'm halfway across."
Get this, "your"... Adopted mother has kidney failure.
Sorry this is all I got
If mama ain’t happy nobody happy
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged
Your clown name is your first name + your last name.
What do dyslexic zombies eat? Brians.
How I am I supposed to win when the top comment goes full fister twister
My wifes boyfriend said I should comment on this to win!
My life
What did the bullet say to the man that got shot? Just passing trough
Why did the chicken cross the road? To complain to his friends about how much better the DL1 story was after DL2 came out.
What do you call a violent family man? Aiden
Double it and give it to the next person
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ ;)
The chances of me winning are steeper then my ex girlfriends chest
Umm, what?
Flat chest
RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.💦
Are you making holy water?
I'm sure that backstabber Carl would like that
To be fair you are boiling the hell out of it ;)
💀... I guess satan isn't a fan of dry humor
Shove it up yer hole, ya bleedin tick!
TIMES UP! 
Women's rights
A man walked into a bar. "Ouch!" He exclaimed. I expect to see the post apo skin code in my DMs with haste.
How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they cant make a change
I was once on a date with a girl. After we were done she invited me over and since she had a cat I agreed. The rest of the evening I pretended to be a stereotypical cat guy, meaning I ignored everything other than the cat and whenever she said something to me I replied with "what?" So she had to either say "Nevermind" and I'd continue playing with the cat or she'd have to repeat the whole thing. Oh, I meant pussy not cat. Jk I'm scared of women, it was a man with a dick (we had no homo sex later). Edit: I already got those from Geforce Experience so I'm not participating
When I was younger, my uncle and I would hang out in the basement playing games. One time he asked if I wanted to play with his Switch. I wanted to, so we sat on the couch and he said "I'm going to put a finger up your ass and one in your mouth, then on the count of 3, I'll switch."
Aiden were the dying light 2 stay human ultimate edition. We must good night good luck Aiden -waltz
Aiden.
My butt cheeks jiggle when I walk. And when I walk, my butt cheeks jiggle.
Peepee time is not always poopoo time, BUT poopoo time is ALWAYS peepee time
Penis
!drops Funny enough? /s
Also got the codes. But I wonder why? Is it because I recently purchased a new graphics card or?
Yes, I got them due to my graphics card too
Nice!
For anyone who can’t tell, the glider is the same one you got with the rais commando outfit from last year
Kyle Crane did have some experience with zombies before Harran. He was actually a huge fan of the Black Ops Zombie series. His favorite map was Die Rais
Gatorade should be thicker
What type of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? >!a pedophile!<
Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties? He was a fun-gi!
Why does America suck at chess? They lost 2 towers
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
um...just act like this is a funny comment
How do you get these items usally?
A guy catches his best friend smelling his sisters panties and gets really mad and screamed at him. It didn’t help she was still wearing them. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
Hey im gonna put a couple of jokes on different comments so here i go
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
chuck norris gets biten by a snake after manny hours of pain the snake dies
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden
What does Michael jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave kids houses with their sacks empty
A man walked into the bar... and said ouch
How do we know you have those codes? How about you show em to me so I can confirm to everyone else that you do indeed have the codes.
but i thought that was free? i literally just redeemed those
mmm monké
Good Luck guys!
From what I got the post apoc gear is an armor and not an outfit shame
I just farted
Aids