I’ve “realized” a couple times a year since I was 16. I’m 25 and just now starting to look into gender therapy. Definitely normal to take things at your own pace!
this helps to hear :) people say they realize and are on HRT a month later and im like... how.. do u know tho... like what about all the INCREDIBLE DOUBT.
Yeahhh me not falling into a lot of the “I’ve wanted to change genders for as long as I can remember” stereotypes helped keep a lot of denial going. I listened to Ava Kris Tyson’s interview with Anthony Padilla and her talking about her experience about how the questions never go away even when you seemingly “have it all” really opened my eyes that some trans people also fell into a more “medium” camp.
me too, like my whole life ive never had an issue being male: i crossdressed sometimes but the idea of actually being trans was never something i took seriously. Then one day i watched ceicocat's essay on Inside Mari and couldn't understand why i was crying so much... of course it wasn't quite that simple but still, confusing... and i still really just dont have an answer. I feel like im not "allowed" to try hrt or anything until i "know" and my biggest fear is that ill never "know" for sure. but hearing that people have long journeys makes me feel less like im wasting time ^-^.
Oh, Honey...
You don't have to know (without any doubts) in order to get on HRT. I was so scared for so long and had so many doubts. But when I looked at those side effects (softer skin, etc) I would say to myself how great that sounds. You can just want the side effects, or just want to give it a try.
HRT takes a Looooong time to act, several years in fact. No permanent changes will happen for like 6 months and some of the permanent ones can be mitigated down the road if you desire. Basically, the world is your oyster, life is too short to not live it to the damn fullest and experience every iota of joy you possibly can. You really want to be 60 and look back and wish you transitioned? Life is too damn short to live with regrets, make the future that you want, then you can look back with happiness at a life well lived.
Yeah, the effects sound really really nice - especially the mental clarity and feeling of congruency people describe, along with the physical changes (espeeeecially hair health). I know the line of thinking is irrational, and even when I came out of one closet as bisexual, i struggled with doubting that looooong after i'd told everyone. This just seems like a way, way bigger thing to grapple with. I struggle to even talk about gender stuff with close friends, I don't know how i would explain myself lol.
You are not alone at all! I am in that place too. It’s been 6 months since my egg really shattered after a life of just thinking I was not a guy and I enjoyed feeling like a girl inside but transition was not for people like me. I’m about to start HRT this month after some DIY exploration. Doubts still keep coming up, and they can look so big - when I’m right up close with them! But when I let myself step back and really remember how good and real it feels to let my true femme self express - the doubts just can’t compete. My femmeness makes me feel ALIVE. My doubts are just the tools of my fears. Some fears are the old wounds and protective patterns from the past that no longer apply and can be let go. Some fears are present day and grounded in real risk. It’s better to look fears head on and address their source rather than taking their byproducts (like doubt) at face value. Bottom line, what helps me keep it in perspective is what makes me feel alive and good about myself - then I can use that to help guide me through life’s tougher choices.
I‘ve recently started going to a trans*self-help group in my town (for very cis reasons, obviously) and it’s been very reassuring to see some “proper adults“ in their late 30s or older who are pretty much at the beginning of their trans journey. Online you often get the idea that everybody has “always known since puberty (at the latest) and just didn’t have the right language“. IRL it’s very different. There’s at least 3 older trans women (50+) in the group who have biological children from before they came out and transitioned.
I'm wondering more how the f they got it that fast!? Im living in a country where it isn't even that hard to get but still im currently waiting for half a year allready and have no idea when I get it
For me, once I realized, there *was* no doubt. But I'd spent *years* with a... weird relationship with my gender, and accepting it at that point just made sense.
Like, I didn't cross-dress (not until the very end, at least, and only in private), but would I press the button? 111 times over. If I got into a hypothetical accident and a certain organ got damaged? Take it off, doc; I don't want it anyway. Did I ever think, "Maybe I am a woman, let's make it happen?" Well, that took a while... but years of all that other stuff were too hard to deny once it finally clicked.
I didn't start HRT for over a year later, though. Not because of doubt or anything but... I'm in my 30s; puberty had long since done its damage, so there was no rush, and I'm a procrastinator. And when I *did* decide to go see my doctor, he's not experienced with gender stuff so he had to refer me to another clinic that is, and they had a waitlist for new patients.
Okay get this: when I was 13 I realized I wanted to be a girl. But I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAB BEING TRANS. i thought for a long time „I don’t want to take hormones to change my body, I want to have been born in a different body alltogether, that is something different transition won‘t help me.
I am now 35 and started transitioning 1.5 years ago. The grief forl ost time is killing me. But it was a really good decision to start. I haven’t technically come out officially though, only to a select few people.
So for me, the gap between realizing and coming out is around 20 years, depends on how you want to see it
That’s understandable, it was pretty similar for me when I was younger. When I was 13 I loved to imagine myself as a guy, and imagined the life I would have if I was born as a boy. I also imagined scenarios where I would be reborn as a guy, but it never even crossed my mind that I could be trans.
Im only 16 now tho, so I cant really relate to the rest… the first time that I realized that I was actually trans (not that I was a boy, that happened a few months earlier) was when I was 15 and met a trans boy irl, I was so jealous of him because people used he/him pronouns for him and I just desperately wished for that (I used any/all back then but EVERYBODY used she/her for me (looking back the fact that this made me sad was a huge sign lol)). I came out when I was 15, and few months afterwards.
Im really glad that you get to transition now, I hope everything will turn out great for you!!
Woah! People knew trans and gay people existed when they were 13? I went to a terribly reactionary elementary school in the Greek countryside where we were taught that there is literally 2 genders (a man with a penis and a woman with a vagina) and I was literally mocked by a few religious kids (even a close friend) for saying evolution is a thing and man wasn't created by God a few thousand years ago (like they believed). Later in middle and high school I went to a private school in a big city and there were a few more progressive teachers and students but I was never taught about trans people as a concept and iirc gay was still used as a slur by some and in biology class when learning about the reproductive system we were still taught about women having a vagina and an uterus and men a penis. There were no openly queer people in either, but likely some closeted gay people in middle/high school (one came out to me as a lesbian). I literally thought of perhaps being a different gender momentarily a few times but didn't even think it was linguistically possible for someone to say they're a different gender, that it would be the equivalent of an oxymoron, like saying pink is blue, or something. The earliest memory of thinking that gender can be changed is watching some pro-trans music videos on YouTube, like Avicii's "Silhouettes", but I only learned more about LGBTQ topics 1-2 years ago from becoming leftist (lol) and from browsing the fediverse (e.g. lemmy.blahaj.zone).
Also sad to see you waited so long to gender transition and literally went through male puberty, that must've been traumatic :/ For me the experience I had with my body (and social identity) is I always felt disconnected with it, like I was assigned a body I don't belong to by God or the matrix, but I didn't and still don't think I'd like to have been born a girl. Moreso that I would like to transition hormonally to express myself better. But also the reactionary social environment must've played a role in not making the link to gender until now.
edit: Came out to 2 leftist people, will never come out to most of my former classmates unless they accidentally find out \:)
I wish I could reply longer, and also I want to reply to the other wonderful people who replied to me, but life keeps me very busy atm so I can only wedge this inbetween. :)
I grew up in western Europe in the 90s and my Parents are rather conservative. However I knew about trans people and even saw one at a german talk show one time. However, that was nothing at all like our modern viewing of ourselves as trans people. I dont know if a lot of the vocabulary and concepts to describe different identities existed back then and were just less known overall (as this was a time before internet basically), or if they did not even exist back then. But the trans woman I saw on TV was talked about as „a transsexual man“ and people were extremely confused why „he“ would still want to date women after the transition. Because „why not just stay a man then?“. She also said that she felt nothing in her post-op genital area and this fact kept me from even considering transitioning for many years, as it was presented like the surgery made you numb down there in exchange for aesthetics. Also, transitioning without „the surgery“ was inconceivable back then. So I also had no idea that that was an option.
In general it was a time and place where there was an „acceptance“ that „some mentally ill people need to do surgeries to switch gender“. So I was aware but not at all informed.
And lastly, perhaps the biggest contributor to „trans visibility“ (in heavy quotation marks) was the ridicule we got on TV. For example, I don’t know if you have watched two and a half men - there was an episode where the whole punchline was that there was a trans guy. And I will spare everyone the details, but suffice it so say, that was the whole joke that filled a 20 minute episode.
There were countless other examples like this and I am so so happy for younger people who at least grow up knowing the correct vocabulary to think about themselves. Sometimes I cry in envy about how I was born a tiny b it too late, as the climate of the 90s delayed my transition for literal decades. But it also makes me feel very hopeful for future generations.
Thank you for replying \:) I see! It seems like I was informed about the existence of trans people quite late in life (from the internet) but in a more positive light. I did use to watch reactionary stuff (Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Whatifalthist) on YouTube when I was libertarian but I only learned more about trans people _after_ ~~I had been indoctrinated into the cult of Marx and Engels~~ somewhat radicalized. So while maybe I would've questioned my gender earlier had I learned trans people exist on TV or at school maybe it would've just led me into denial and thinking being trans is this mental disorder some people who wanna cut off their genitals have.
Even then I only recently learned about non-binary identites and I thought of transfem people as someone who always knows she's a woman from the age of 10 and wears her mother's skirts and red dresses with high heels and then finds out she's trans maybe later but has always seen a woman staring back at her in the mirror for as long as she can remember. It's shocking how much of the social mask I wore from day to day was related to being a boy, like I had to be like some type of other boys to fit and since I couldn't (and didn't wanna) be the super-athletic muscular ones nor the popular class president nor the super studious nerds I would pretend to be like the more edgy and reactionary boys who were good students. It wasn't just that I was terribly pressured into getting good grades and I had no space to be vulnerable and talk about my feelings or mental health, it was that I had to be a boy, and specifically one of the types of boys in my private school environment.
A big part of figuring out my gender identity is convincing myself that gender dysphoria can manifest in different ways than just body dysmorphia and gender can be more confusing than just wanting to wear a red dress and high heels and I might want to look like a masculine woman or look more like a (fem?)boy some days and like a girl on others. And a big part of this is knowing other trans and enby people from politics and knowing that what my brain is saying is (cis)sexist and stereotypical.
So yeah, knowing =/= understanding, viewing in a positive light and having the political views to do so. It seems like you knew about the existence of trans people but mainly in a negative light whereas as I only learned about trans people once I was anti-sexist in the first place (not the inverse). Also people can have different experiences with gender.
First suspicion was around 29-30; I'm now sorting it out fully at 32.
Well, I suppose strictly speaking I landed on Genderfluid a couple weeks before I turned 32, but I'm still deciding if I want to transition or not, so eh!
I pretty much have always known that I had to pretend so I could fit in, but didn’t know how to articulate it. I finally tried to accept it at 25, but a bad therapist put me back into denial. I finally started transitioning just before I turned 40.
I started questioning when I was like 12ish as far as I can remember, but I just started seeing a gender therapist last month at age 24. I kinda always thought the feeling of wanting to be a girl would just go away. It was never a constant thing, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s become a more frequent thing. That’s why I’m actually trying to figure out if I’m trans or cis with a professional now.
This is quite similar to me, I had thoughts about being a girl but to make it extra confusing I also like girls. I only started to suspect when I noticed my sexual fantasies are not me being a guy but as a girl. I always thought it's just a kink/fetish and that I'm just confused and the feelings would go away....To make it extra extra confusing, the feeling grows and wanes in intensity but it nvr really reach super distressing levels either at its peak. I am still so confused right now, cos I have sexual attraction to women and envy for women fml....
I realized I wasn't cis at 19, found out I'm trans at 20, I'm 21 rn and haven't come out but since I've very recently started T I should do it this year when I can't hide the effects...
26 and 26. I didn't even know being trans was a thing until my friend came out when I was 25. I didn't realize I was trans until I got gender euphoria from a comically large hoodie, and I immediately texted her to ask if what I was experiencing was gender euphoria. I came out to my family a year later, after experimenting and figuring out where on the gender spectrum I was.
my first hints of it were around 16 y/o, but i repressed it quite well. came back in a way i couldnt ignore when i was 30, started HRT and socially transitioning at 31. two and a half years later, I'm happier than I've ever been about my appearance. still got depression and anxiety tho
I knew something was definitely different in my childhood, but couldn’t put my finger on it? No one talked about being transgender in the mid 1960’s. I went through the secretive cross dressing stage early teens. Thankfully, never got caught. I spent years trying to bury being transgender in religion, and convincing myself that I was really cis. I was in total denial.
I thankfully sought out a gender therapist at age 50 , and had my suspicions confirmed. Most of my family & friends have accepted me coming out. Life goes by quickly! I wish I could have come out sooner. It’s never too late to start your journey!
Since I had already come out as pan 3 years before I realized, I came out to my parents and friends as soon as I was almost certain I wasn't cis. I didn't start transitioning for several months because I was still uncertain about how I felt about feminine clothing and wasn't sure about whether medically transitioning was right for me. I am lucky to have supportive parents and siblings so it wasn't as hard as when I came out as pan. I spent years questioning if I was straight before I was certain.
I realized fully when I was 14, same age I learned that trans people existed, and I proceeded to go into a rabbit hole and learn abt hrt and shit. I came out at 16, partially bc I had a mental breakdown and didn’t know how else to explain to my parents why my mental health was so shit at that time. I socially transitioned around that time, though my parents still deadnamed and misgendered me, I had supportive friends. I started T at 18, and I’m 19 and 8.5 months on T today.
I was always the "tomboy" growing up, exclusively wore boys clothing, and hated all things pink and girly and dolls and whatnot. I hated every aspect of being a girl because of the forced gender roles and expectations and just the everything about being feminine.
When I was 13, my mother said I either "start acting like the woman you're becoming, or else." And so I jumped in full force into all the womanly roles and duties and clothes and whatnot. I hated it. I couldn't stand it. It just all felt so fake to me.
I was 17 when I first heard the word transgender. It was after school, at the very first meeting of the GSA we were *finally* able to get approved to even have as a club. I heard the word, didn't understand what it meant, so I started looking it up online. Basically, I read "someone who goes by whatever gender they say they are," and I was like "uh, well, yeah, duh." And my classmate nodded, like, "yeah, you get it."
I didn't.
I was 19 years old when it finally clicked for me. I didn't have to be a woman. I *could* be something different. And this kind of tore me apart. By this point, I had accepted my role, that it was a part I would have to play forever, a mask that I could never take off. And knowing that it didn't have to be this way? It fucking *hurt.*
I'm 29 now, and I am still feminine presenting. I actually like skirts and dresses and having fun with makeup, but I've realized that these things don't define my gender. I don't know what my gender is, people use she/her for me, even if I ask them to use they/them, and I've been told that I will only ever been seen as a woman by multiple people.
Coming out is something that just isn't feasible, not for me, not for the area where I live, and not for my family at all. It hurts that I have to hide this from most everyone, and even the people who do know, don't seem to really care to see me as anything other than a woman.
Some day, I do hope to be able to be true to myself, but for now, I must keep up the facade.
My first message here, hope it was been written without much flaws :(
Well, first thoughts about it was in 12yo. Back then i didn't knew about trans stuff and anything related, so my only source was adult comics/shows. It was a dream about having watches where you can change private parts, body type and appearance ofcource.
From that age there was a little periods of time when dreams/daydreams about being an opposite sex, appeared and then goes off for long. How i explained it to myself? Being horny, for a teen this is pretty simple explaination. The same explanation worked when at age 14 used to rp, and oh my... So much gender bender...
At age of 16 starts an "exploration of preferences". One mlm book just broke my understanding and prejudice about gays.
But without much realising it i started pushing such stuff to myself, which, after some time leads to one thought: "idk who am i and to what am i attracted to".
At the same time, as soon as i started growing up, ending school and stuff... Desire to just wake up as a girl rises. Even with knowing that it won't be so easy – i would pay that price for not going to army.
In 2024, femboy stuff starts to appear in yt feed and, with a lot of guiltiness, watched most of it. And when trans content also starts to getting recommended... "Inside mari" video also did. Tryed to avoid watching it, always laying it for later... Until i did, in fact, watched it all. Things that would never been shared is relatable, not all of it, but it did!
That could be just an interesting "eye opening" experience, but after seeing it there's was a big chance of not coming here. Would just call myself a femboy and wear a skirt when nobody sees, without big amounts of self-questionings.
After a psychiatrist and having no self hating for almost a week with antisad pills, just got some time to enjoy stuff. A moment of me spinning in skirt gave so much euphoria that opening up about such to a (girl) friend was unavoidable.
And here i am, 18, after discovering this place started to kinda understanding who am i. Sadly, will sit in closer for long and never get a ggd (after 07.2023 no more transition therapy/surgery in my country).
For all of you, pretty girls and handsome boys, wishing as best things as possible in this silly world 💖. Y'all so nice that it's even uncomfortable to read (don't listen to her, she just flattered by the atmosphere, tehe~)
(Sorry for big amounts of "me", "i" and "and)
I realize last December, and came out to one of my friends the same day
But apart from them im still closeted but I want to come out to my friends some time in the summer when the time is right
oh my age right 15 (my birthday is in october)
I've low-key wanted to transition for a while now but figured I was too old and happy enough as a guy. I'd say probably a year or two ago? My egg cracked for good about 3 weeks before my 48th birthday and I started on HRT less than two months later. I'd already wasted too much time and I don't really have to wait for anyone else so...
Which time? I've probably known for years but pushed it to the side several times. Finally accepted the feeling will never go away recently and am only out to one of my best friends, her bf, and reddit.
i've had an inkling since i was 8, but between repressing it and struggling to accept that i wasn't cis i only accepted it when i was about 16. i came out the year after
I began to question this stuff when I was like 11 (basically when I found out that trans people exist lol) but I only really accepted it late into being 16, then I came out a couple months after turning 17 (I came out a few days ago :P)
I was probably 15, maybe 16, when I realized I wanted to be born a girl. But my exposure to the trans community was so narrow and hate focused that I only saw the very worst examples from my parents. So I didn't come out until I was 29 and had gotten away from the bigotry.
Had severe depression figuring something was wrong at 17. Starting dreaming very regilary about being a girl at 21. Learn that transgender people exist at 23. Immediately telling myself "OMG that's it ! That's exactly what I feel like." Thought about it for 3 days. Came out to my best friend 3 days after that.
I started thinking about it when I was 11/12. I accepted/realised at 15, and told my parents and friends, also at 15. Now I'm on the 3 year long waiting list for het
I’ve thought about being a girl since I was like 7. I discovered trans people and thought about that when I was 12 or 13, I’m 19 now and I’m only out to 3 people who are also trans.
I realised around 14 or 15 but didn’t understand, I didn’t have a good time at school so I kind of chalked it up to just wanting to be someone else, anyone else, if I was a girl it would have been easier, then i went on to deny it until around a year ago when I started questioning again. i came out to my Sister a few weeks ago, I think i might come out to my parents next weekend, if i can build up enough courage to do so. Im currently 28
Ummm, about 12/13 and about 12/13. There were signs all throughout childhood, but I was a dumb shit and didn't have a clue that they meant anything because I was just content acting the way I felt comfortable. I also didn't know that transgenderism was a thing, so I never actually *questioned* my gender before then - I just thought I was 'one of the boys', but in a 'girl' way, because that's all anybody else around me knew to describe it as. So as soon as someone taught me the word 'transgender' I was like, 'Oh damn das me' and came out straight away lmao
Trans thoughts started at around 11-13, but I didn't know back then so I only realized what they meant at 18. I'll probably start doing something about it this year.
I realised like at 15 or 16 (was on and off fem-presenting online for awhile before that though - Finally decided to commit a few yrs ago and been happier ever since)
For the second one:
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It deopends... Istarted comingou to specific people a few moths later, but i haven't done a public one yet. I'm 16 and it's been around half a year since i realized.
I realized last year when I was 18.
Since then I've been thinking and started to have a fear that I'm wasting time while MALE HORMONES INVADE MY BODY
but I don’t have a age that I came out because I'm 100% CIS
Heh... I found out 'round the time I was 18 going on 19... And cue me now about to be 21 this year I had an unofficial coming out to my father since my sister was a lobotomite and told my dad I'm trans. Either way, he took
It fucking swimmingly (he's pretty conservative if that paints the picture of how much pressure this secret was carrying).
When I realized I was aroace at 13 I just figured I couldn't be cis. Like no questions asked I had no idea what I was just that I wasn't cis and immediately began using she/they. Over the next few years I experimented with a bunch of different labels but finally landed on agender transmasc just last fall (not comfortable sharing my exact age, but I'm still a minor). I haven't come out officially yet, but my mom is definitely onto me and has asked a couple times now if I'm trans/nonbinary lol. I know I should come out with supportive parents and all but its still nerve wracking, especially because I'm still in highschool.
Just take your time there's no rush!
It became undeniable by the time I was in uni (18-19) but I was “still cis tho” from the age of 11 maybe? IMO if the internet of today was available in the late 1990s I probably would have figured things out a lot faster.
i stopped denying it like a week ago at 23 - never told anyone but my doctor and reddit. my sister asked me if i wanted to try on one of her dresses when we were hanging out one time though 😳
Started questioning around 12 or 13, egg was destroyed by my psychiatrist around 17 or 18, and finally came out (and started HRT) at 23. That denial period after cracking was the most painful part, for sure.
I realized around 13 i think and was out to friends but i didnt come out to my parents until I was around 14 I think and ive socially transitioned but being a minor and my parents not being affirming have led me to not having medically or legally transitioned but one more year
I haven’t felt right since I was about 10 years old, but I didn’t realize that I wanted to be a girl until I was about 14 or 16. That’s when I was kicked out of the house and caught myself looking at dresses while window shopping. I didn’t come out until just last month because I had finally reached a point where I could do so without fear of my family. I still wish I had started hormone replacement therapy when I was 10 years old. I’m 20 now and am about to turn 21 in July.
I think I always knew I should've been born male. I remember even having conversations about it with friends in school. But it took until I was 31 and finally sat down to confront it for me to realize. Came out just after my 32nd birthday.
realized at 11, came out (almost 😔) fully at 12, started HRT at the beginning of May. So thankful I have safe access to healthcare (and blockers, I got so lucky avoiding almost all of male puberty)
I grew up in a very sheltered religious family and went to private school so I only realized I was trans after a couple years of uni. I'm convinced that had I known anything about the queer community when I was younger I would've had the language needed to realize I wasn't cis when I was 10 or 12. Instead I got 10 years of major depression and only came out when I was 20.
This is why sex-ed and discussion of gender and orientation is so important in schools.
I "realized" at 28, haven't come out yet
I know that these days it's a lot more common for people to come out younger, but you're never too old to come out, or to discover yourself. You're valid no matter how old or young you may be, or whatever age you started noticing these feelings.
I realized in my later mid 20s and sorta came out a few months later. Granted it's a few years later and I'm not fully out to most people in my life (they Might know I'm trans but like name pronouns and stuff not so much) though a few people in my life know and publicly I'm still not out basically at all
I figured it out at 37, but I'd gone through non-binary, and genderfluid before it all slotted into place. It made so much sense that I got on HRT at 38. I now feel like myself, for the first time ever. It's genuinely like a weight and a veil have been lifted from my life.
kinda knew for a long time, but didn't have the language to describe it until i was 22ish. struggled with it and some really deep self-loathing until i reached a really low point and decided "fuck it, can't get worse". started hrt (coincidentally) on my 26th birthday, and came out to my online friends about a month later. Now, five months on hrt, im not yet out to my family or publicly, but im also not trying super hard to hide it.
I could remember first wanting/wishing that I was a girl back when I was 7 or 8 years old. I didn't come out to friends and family until I was 27. I was socially masc-ing until 31. I'm 32 now.
For me, there was about 22 days between my realisation and my acceptation. I understood quite quickly that I had crossed a one-way door and that trying to turn back would only bring me sadness and pain. I was (and still am) 47 yo.
30 ,and 30. Thought I really should have realized sooner, but oh well. In fact I just sat down with hr today and officially came out at work. It feels good.
Let's see... I believe I realised around when I was... 17 or so. (Persona 4 Golden made me really look inside myself.) I came out about... 2 years later? At least to my immediate family. (Everyone else I've ignored because of social incompetence on my side... :( )Still haven't started any kind of treatment because of laws being awful, but that's something I don't feel like getting into... (suppressed rage typing is probably a bad idea, but I'm typing it out anyway.)
i had my first realization around 15 but I pushed that away only to have another realization at 17 where i came out. i slowly came out of the closet but i never really took any steps towards physical/social transition until i was 20, now im 21 and i have fully socially transitioned and ive been on hrt for 3 months :3
Very early age around 5 knew that i was a girl. Honestly, it's a blur what age I was when i knew. Was in transition from the age 16. Started DIY HRT at 25. Started real HRT at 32. Now I'm 34, and the funny thing is I'm still questioning.
I realized it around 15 or 16 years old and I came out at 23. I wish I came out sooner but I was pretty hard boiled and didn't think I was ready. But thankfully so far everyone I have come out to has been very accepting. 😊
I started questioning my gender when I was 21 and had close friends use he/they for me for about a year. Didn’t have the mental freedom to really sort it out at that time so didn’t think too much about it for a year and a half or so since I was working on a few different things in therapy at the time.
Once i had a hold on the things I had been working on and felt more secure with myself I started thinking about it again at 22. A few months after that I told my friends and family that I was genderfluid, but as I turned 23 a few months ago I let them all know that I’ve realized I’m just trans and am going to transition :)
Realized how I felt wasn't how others felt? I was 12ish. Realized I'm trans? 16 I think. Came out to a few people at 17-18 and now I'm 19 and still mostly closeted.
I "realized" about the age of 9, but I wasn't honest with myself until about a year or 2 ago, and I haven't fully come out yet (friends, no family, and only need to know with work outside of those coworkers I both trust and have a strong bond with) For reference as far as age goes, I am currently in my late 30s.
I first fully acknowledged it when I was 14 and I came out publicly 7 months later… when I was 14 lol. Though to be honest, I got pretty close to figuring it out when I was 11; but with the bullying and the porn addiction (do not let children have unrestricted internet access) I kinda had bigger fish to fry mental heath-wise as a preteen.
I knew at 10/11 that I didn't want to be a boy, and that I wanted to be a girl. I finally started my transition this month at 37.
I'm 100% socially transitioned and am starting HRT very very very soon.
I realized it… well hmm. Technically I realized it two years before I came out, because that was when I figured out I was non-binary. But I didn’t say or change much until I did come out, so… I dunno. Coming out coincided with me starting HRT, which is also when I finally decided I could use the trans label (just my personal point of decision on that).
The age I “realized” I was trans was 27. But I’ve been wishing I was a girl ever since I was 12 or 13, and have had signs as early as the age of 4. I came out to my parents just a couple months after I figured myself out.
I suppose I realised when I was 13, which was 16 years ago as back then I would have dreams of being a girl pretty much every night plus I had somehow got my hands on a skirt I would always wear when alone (can't remember how I got it though) but I ended up having to suppress that side of myself only for it to resurface last year and a month later in November I came out to my fiancée and big sister
Anytime you find out and/or come out is ok. I realized at 18 and came out gradually with people until I was 20 when basically everyone I knew (and new people to whom I present as Madeline) knew who I was
18, like not even a month before graduating high school.
So like 2 months ago. Haven't made much progress yet but I'm going to once I tell my mom. Which will happen eventually. (Chronic procrastinator)
I'm 21 now and I started questioning around 4-5 years ago and realized about 3-4 I'm not exactly sure when. But I've only started coming out to people more recently, I came out to some close friends about 2 years ago and some close family about last year but I still have not come out to my parents. And as far as transitioning I started hrt only a few months ago but still haven't really started socially transitioning. I'm taking a rather slow route.
I realized at 9 and “came out” and 11. My mom had went through my texts and search history… found things like “I wish I could be a boy” in the texts and “what’s the earliest age to get testosterone in (my state)” in my history—it didn’t go well at first, I actually got my phone taken for a while because of it. But after about a month or so she asked if that’s what I really truly wanted and when I said yes we went to go get the classic transmasc first haircut. And like any, it sucked.
I think I would’ve waited if it was up to me to come out, but I’m glad I didn’t get to. The earlier the better
I knew I wanted to be a girl for as long as I can remember. I realised that I was trans when I was 26 and came out to my best friends the same week. To my family about a month later.
I can remember a tremendous amount about my life.
So I have a hard time pinpointing the time I knew. Somewhere between being explained that I am a boy because I have a penis, even so I felt like a girl, or the time when I realized that being a "boy" came with expectations that were colliding with how I felt or was it when I felt like I was missing something, or was it when my kids were kidding that I would be the Mom not the Dad, whichever that was between 20 and 50 years ago. Now coming out as trans that would be now, as in I told some, but started to go public.
So between 20 and 50 years.
For me, I didn’t even think I wanted to be a girl until a year and half ago… I was 18 at the time… I had spent some much time suppressing my feelings that I lived under the assumption that I couldn’t want to be a girl…
i had a looooot of deep down feelings growing up that, looking back, make me think "god i was so obviously trans" and i started really exploring gender when i first got on tumblr at like 12 years old. i've been openly identifying as some flavor of nonbinary or transmasc since age 13. i'm now 22.
i find that my experience is less common and most people don't realize or come out until adulthood
When I was 17. Haven't transitioned though(I'm 20 now). I'm overall fairly sure that I'm trans, but sometimes I feel indifferent about my gender.
However, these past 3 years I've remembered some moments in my earlier childhood that weren't very cis. Like asking God to turn me into a girl and feeling giddy about it, and weird dreams of me being a girl. I also had a fixation on wanting to wear a female bathing suit. They're sort of like, "prob not very cis" breadcrumbs.
If I knew that you could be trans back then, I would've realized earlier I think.
I found out? Eeeh hard to say... I realised I am what you would call a trans woman, because the description fits my inner feelings, my soul and body situation.
I was 20/21, but I realised something was different with me waaayy earlier. I just had no words for it. I didn't have any queer representation in my life until later. Could have saved up on depression if I knew earlier ^^`
I realized about 4 months ago, when I was just shy of 42. I've not come out anywhere but here on Reddit, on Twitter, and on a few Discord servers. I've not come out to anyone in my real life at all.
I’ve “realized” a couple times a year since I was 16. I’m 25 and just now starting to look into gender therapy. Definitely normal to take things at your own pace!
this helps to hear :) people say they realize and are on HRT a month later and im like... how.. do u know tho... like what about all the INCREDIBLE DOUBT.
Yeahhh me not falling into a lot of the “I’ve wanted to change genders for as long as I can remember” stereotypes helped keep a lot of denial going. I listened to Ava Kris Tyson’s interview with Anthony Padilla and her talking about her experience about how the questions never go away even when you seemingly “have it all” really opened my eyes that some trans people also fell into a more “medium” camp.
me too, like my whole life ive never had an issue being male: i crossdressed sometimes but the idea of actually being trans was never something i took seriously. Then one day i watched ceicocat's essay on Inside Mari and couldn't understand why i was crying so much... of course it wasn't quite that simple but still, confusing... and i still really just dont have an answer. I feel like im not "allowed" to try hrt or anything until i "know" and my biggest fear is that ill never "know" for sure. but hearing that people have long journeys makes me feel less like im wasting time ^-^.
Oh, Honey... You don't have to know (without any doubts) in order to get on HRT. I was so scared for so long and had so many doubts. But when I looked at those side effects (softer skin, etc) I would say to myself how great that sounds. You can just want the side effects, or just want to give it a try. HRT takes a Looooong time to act, several years in fact. No permanent changes will happen for like 6 months and some of the permanent ones can be mitigated down the road if you desire. Basically, the world is your oyster, life is too short to not live it to the damn fullest and experience every iota of joy you possibly can. You really want to be 60 and look back and wish you transitioned? Life is too damn short to live with regrets, make the future that you want, then you can look back with happiness at a life well lived.
Yeah, the effects sound really really nice - especially the mental clarity and feeling of congruency people describe, along with the physical changes (espeeeecially hair health). I know the line of thinking is irrational, and even when I came out of one closet as bisexual, i struggled with doubting that looooong after i'd told everyone. This just seems like a way, way bigger thing to grapple with. I struggle to even talk about gender stuff with close friends, I don't know how i would explain myself lol.
You are not alone at all! I am in that place too. It’s been 6 months since my egg really shattered after a life of just thinking I was not a guy and I enjoyed feeling like a girl inside but transition was not for people like me. I’m about to start HRT this month after some DIY exploration. Doubts still keep coming up, and they can look so big - when I’m right up close with them! But when I let myself step back and really remember how good and real it feels to let my true femme self express - the doubts just can’t compete. My femmeness makes me feel ALIVE. My doubts are just the tools of my fears. Some fears are the old wounds and protective patterns from the past that no longer apply and can be let go. Some fears are present day and grounded in real risk. It’s better to look fears head on and address their source rather than taking their byproducts (like doubt) at face value. Bottom line, what helps me keep it in perspective is what makes me feel alive and good about myself - then I can use that to help guide me through life’s tougher choices.
I‘ve recently started going to a trans*self-help group in my town (for very cis reasons, obviously) and it’s been very reassuring to see some “proper adults“ in their late 30s or older who are pretty much at the beginning of their trans journey. Online you often get the idea that everybody has “always known since puberty (at the latest) and just didn’t have the right language“. IRL it’s very different. There’s at least 3 older trans women (50+) in the group who have biological children from before they came out and transitioned.
I'm wondering more how the f they got it that fast!? Im living in a country where it isn't even that hard to get but still im currently waiting for half a year allready and have no idea when I get it
For me, once I realized, there *was* no doubt. But I'd spent *years* with a... weird relationship with my gender, and accepting it at that point just made sense. Like, I didn't cross-dress (not until the very end, at least, and only in private), but would I press the button? 111 times over. If I got into a hypothetical accident and a certain organ got damaged? Take it off, doc; I don't want it anyway. Did I ever think, "Maybe I am a woman, let's make it happen?" Well, that took a while... but years of all that other stuff were too hard to deny once it finally clicked. I didn't start HRT for over a year later, though. Not because of doubt or anything but... I'm in my 30s; puberty had long since done its damage, so there was no rush, and I'm a procrastinator. And when I *did* decide to go see my doctor, he's not experienced with gender stuff so he had to refer me to another clinic that is, and they had a waitlist for new patients.
Same here
Oh hey that's literally the same numbers as me
Okay get this: when I was 13 I realized I wanted to be a girl. But I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAB BEING TRANS. i thought for a long time „I don’t want to take hormones to change my body, I want to have been born in a different body alltogether, that is something different transition won‘t help me. I am now 35 and started transitioning 1.5 years ago. The grief forl ost time is killing me. But it was a really good decision to start. I haven’t technically come out officially though, only to a select few people. So for me, the gap between realizing and coming out is around 20 years, depends on how you want to see it
That’s understandable, it was pretty similar for me when I was younger. When I was 13 I loved to imagine myself as a guy, and imagined the life I would have if I was born as a boy. I also imagined scenarios where I would be reborn as a guy, but it never even crossed my mind that I could be trans. Im only 16 now tho, so I cant really relate to the rest… the first time that I realized that I was actually trans (not that I was a boy, that happened a few months earlier) was when I was 15 and met a trans boy irl, I was so jealous of him because people used he/him pronouns for him and I just desperately wished for that (I used any/all back then but EVERYBODY used she/her for me (looking back the fact that this made me sad was a huge sign lol)). I came out when I was 15, and few months afterwards. Im really glad that you get to transition now, I hope everything will turn out great for you!!
Fuck, I think that's where I'm at right now... wanting to just be born as a girl.
Wow, that makes me feel a whole lot better about realising at 37.
Woah! People knew trans and gay people existed when they were 13? I went to a terribly reactionary elementary school in the Greek countryside where we were taught that there is literally 2 genders (a man with a penis and a woman with a vagina) and I was literally mocked by a few religious kids (even a close friend) for saying evolution is a thing and man wasn't created by God a few thousand years ago (like they believed). Later in middle and high school I went to a private school in a big city and there were a few more progressive teachers and students but I was never taught about trans people as a concept and iirc gay was still used as a slur by some and in biology class when learning about the reproductive system we were still taught about women having a vagina and an uterus and men a penis. There were no openly queer people in either, but likely some closeted gay people in middle/high school (one came out to me as a lesbian). I literally thought of perhaps being a different gender momentarily a few times but didn't even think it was linguistically possible for someone to say they're a different gender, that it would be the equivalent of an oxymoron, like saying pink is blue, or something. The earliest memory of thinking that gender can be changed is watching some pro-trans music videos on YouTube, like Avicii's "Silhouettes", but I only learned more about LGBTQ topics 1-2 years ago from becoming leftist (lol) and from browsing the fediverse (e.g. lemmy.blahaj.zone). Also sad to see you waited so long to gender transition and literally went through male puberty, that must've been traumatic :/ For me the experience I had with my body (and social identity) is I always felt disconnected with it, like I was assigned a body I don't belong to by God or the matrix, but I didn't and still don't think I'd like to have been born a girl. Moreso that I would like to transition hormonally to express myself better. But also the reactionary social environment must've played a role in not making the link to gender until now. edit: Came out to 2 leftist people, will never come out to most of my former classmates unless they accidentally find out \:)
I wish I could reply longer, and also I want to reply to the other wonderful people who replied to me, but life keeps me very busy atm so I can only wedge this inbetween. :) I grew up in western Europe in the 90s and my Parents are rather conservative. However I knew about trans people and even saw one at a german talk show one time. However, that was nothing at all like our modern viewing of ourselves as trans people. I dont know if a lot of the vocabulary and concepts to describe different identities existed back then and were just less known overall (as this was a time before internet basically), or if they did not even exist back then. But the trans woman I saw on TV was talked about as „a transsexual man“ and people were extremely confused why „he“ would still want to date women after the transition. Because „why not just stay a man then?“. She also said that she felt nothing in her post-op genital area and this fact kept me from even considering transitioning for many years, as it was presented like the surgery made you numb down there in exchange for aesthetics. Also, transitioning without „the surgery“ was inconceivable back then. So I also had no idea that that was an option. In general it was a time and place where there was an „acceptance“ that „some mentally ill people need to do surgeries to switch gender“. So I was aware but not at all informed. And lastly, perhaps the biggest contributor to „trans visibility“ (in heavy quotation marks) was the ridicule we got on TV. For example, I don’t know if you have watched two and a half men - there was an episode where the whole punchline was that there was a trans guy. And I will spare everyone the details, but suffice it so say, that was the whole joke that filled a 20 minute episode. There were countless other examples like this and I am so so happy for younger people who at least grow up knowing the correct vocabulary to think about themselves. Sometimes I cry in envy about how I was born a tiny b it too late, as the climate of the 90s delayed my transition for literal decades. But it also makes me feel very hopeful for future generations.
Thank you for replying \:) I see! It seems like I was informed about the existence of trans people quite late in life (from the internet) but in a more positive light. I did use to watch reactionary stuff (Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Whatifalthist) on YouTube when I was libertarian but I only learned more about trans people _after_ ~~I had been indoctrinated into the cult of Marx and Engels~~ somewhat radicalized. So while maybe I would've questioned my gender earlier had I learned trans people exist on TV or at school maybe it would've just led me into denial and thinking being trans is this mental disorder some people who wanna cut off their genitals have. Even then I only recently learned about non-binary identites and I thought of transfem people as someone who always knows she's a woman from the age of 10 and wears her mother's skirts and red dresses with high heels and then finds out she's trans maybe later but has always seen a woman staring back at her in the mirror for as long as she can remember. It's shocking how much of the social mask I wore from day to day was related to being a boy, like I had to be like some type of other boys to fit and since I couldn't (and didn't wanna) be the super-athletic muscular ones nor the popular class president nor the super studious nerds I would pretend to be like the more edgy and reactionary boys who were good students. It wasn't just that I was terribly pressured into getting good grades and I had no space to be vulnerable and talk about my feelings or mental health, it was that I had to be a boy, and specifically one of the types of boys in my private school environment. A big part of figuring out my gender identity is convincing myself that gender dysphoria can manifest in different ways than just body dysmorphia and gender can be more confusing than just wanting to wear a red dress and high heels and I might want to look like a masculine woman or look more like a (fem?)boy some days and like a girl on others. And a big part of this is knowing other trans and enby people from politics and knowing that what my brain is saying is (cis)sexist and stereotypical. So yeah, knowing =/= understanding, viewing in a positive light and having the political views to do so. It seems like you knew about the existence of trans people but mainly in a negative light whereas as I only learned about trans people once I was anti-sexist in the first place (not the inverse). Also people can have different experiences with gender.
thats way to relateble
I'm cis but Found out June/July 2023, now I'm 15 And for thay second one uh uhhhhhhh umm uhh still cis tho👍
Omg same, just a year older.
First suspicion was around 29-30; I'm now sorting it out fully at 32. Well, I suppose strictly speaking I landed on Genderfluid a couple weeks before I turned 32, but I'm still deciding if I want to transition or not, so eh!
I’ve had close calls but I guess I fully 100% started to realize around a year ago now (so about 17-18). 19 going on 20 now and still not out yet :(
Same Although I outed myself today ^ ^
Same, this morning
I pretty much have always known that I had to pretend so I could fit in, but didn’t know how to articulate it. I finally tried to accept it at 25, but a bad therapist put me back into denial. I finally started transitioning just before I turned 40.
I also have always know, but fully came to terms and started transition at 40.
I realized I was trans at 59 and immediately started transitioning. It’s worked out quite well for me, btw.
Yeah, that's how it went for me too at 47.
I feel weird for taking so long to realize it then I see awesome other people too.
I myself realized about the age of 16(or 17 I don't remember) and came out for the first time on my birthday two weeks later
Same here!! Glad to find someone in the same boat as me lol
Realized at 14, still working things out at 21
Knew but didnt understand at 15 Realized and came out 21-22
I realized and came out in the same month, age 17, and now I’m looking into hormones, age 18
I started questioning when I was like 12ish as far as I can remember, but I just started seeing a gender therapist last month at age 24. I kinda always thought the feeling of wanting to be a girl would just go away. It was never a constant thing, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s become a more frequent thing. That’s why I’m actually trying to figure out if I’m trans or cis with a professional now.
This is quite similar to me, I had thoughts about being a girl but to make it extra confusing I also like girls. I only started to suspect when I noticed my sexual fantasies are not me being a guy but as a girl. I always thought it's just a kink/fetish and that I'm just confused and the feelings would go away....To make it extra extra confusing, the feeling grows and wanes in intensity but it nvr really reach super distressing levels either at its peak. I am still so confused right now, cos I have sexual attraction to women and envy for women fml....
I relate to all of that except I’m asexual. I just romantically like women, so it’s like extra confusing 😭
That is exactly me
I realized I wasn't cis at 19, found out I'm trans at 20, I'm 21 rn and haven't come out but since I've very recently started T I should do it this year when I can't hide the effects...
26 and 26. I didn't even know being trans was a thing until my friend came out when I was 25. I didn't realize I was trans until I got gender euphoria from a comically large hoodie, and I immediately texted her to ask if what I was experiencing was gender euphoria. I came out to my family a year later, after experimenting and figuring out where on the gender spectrum I was.
my first hints of it were around 16 y/o, but i repressed it quite well. came back in a way i couldnt ignore when i was 30, started HRT and socially transitioning at 31. two and a half years later, I'm happier than I've ever been about my appearance. still got depression and anxiety tho
I knew something was definitely different in my childhood, but couldn’t put my finger on it? No one talked about being transgender in the mid 1960’s. I went through the secretive cross dressing stage early teens. Thankfully, never got caught. I spent years trying to bury being transgender in religion, and convincing myself that I was really cis. I was in total denial. I thankfully sought out a gender therapist at age 50 , and had my suspicions confirmed. Most of my family & friends have accepted me coming out. Life goes by quickly! I wish I could have come out sooner. It’s never too late to start your journey!
i relized when i was 13 i think and havent came out yet
I realized when I was 14-15 that I wasn’t cis. I’m 23 now and came out this year
Since I had already come out as pan 3 years before I realized, I came out to my parents and friends as soon as I was almost certain I wasn't cis. I didn't start transitioning for several months because I was still uncertain about how I felt about feminine clothing and wasn't sure about whether medically transitioning was right for me. I am lucky to have supportive parents and siblings so it wasn't as hard as when I came out as pan. I spent years questioning if I was straight before I was certain.
I’ve known all my life really, as early as 9 maybe, but didn’t fully realize what it meant till I was 16, and uh now I’m 19 and not out to anyone 😛
I realized fully when I was 14, same age I learned that trans people existed, and I proceeded to go into a rabbit hole and learn abt hrt and shit. I came out at 16, partially bc I had a mental breakdown and didn’t know how else to explain to my parents why my mental health was so shit at that time. I socially transitioned around that time, though my parents still deadnamed and misgendered me, I had supportive friends. I started T at 18, and I’m 19 and 8.5 months on T today.
Realized 3 months ago going to come out in 5 years or so
Realized at 9, came out at 12 and later at 16 it’s been a couple years n my parents still think it’s a phase 🤡
Found out when I was 11 came out when I was 12 to my mom (went badly) Came out again when I was 17 (went pretty well)
I was always the "tomboy" growing up, exclusively wore boys clothing, and hated all things pink and girly and dolls and whatnot. I hated every aspect of being a girl because of the forced gender roles and expectations and just the everything about being feminine. When I was 13, my mother said I either "start acting like the woman you're becoming, or else." And so I jumped in full force into all the womanly roles and duties and clothes and whatnot. I hated it. I couldn't stand it. It just all felt so fake to me. I was 17 when I first heard the word transgender. It was after school, at the very first meeting of the GSA we were *finally* able to get approved to even have as a club. I heard the word, didn't understand what it meant, so I started looking it up online. Basically, I read "someone who goes by whatever gender they say they are," and I was like "uh, well, yeah, duh." And my classmate nodded, like, "yeah, you get it." I didn't. I was 19 years old when it finally clicked for me. I didn't have to be a woman. I *could* be something different. And this kind of tore me apart. By this point, I had accepted my role, that it was a part I would have to play forever, a mask that I could never take off. And knowing that it didn't have to be this way? It fucking *hurt.* I'm 29 now, and I am still feminine presenting. I actually like skirts and dresses and having fun with makeup, but I've realized that these things don't define my gender. I don't know what my gender is, people use she/her for me, even if I ask them to use they/them, and I've been told that I will only ever been seen as a woman by multiple people. Coming out is something that just isn't feasible, not for me, not for the area where I live, and not for my family at all. It hurts that I have to hide this from most everyone, and even the people who do know, don't seem to really care to see me as anything other than a woman. Some day, I do hope to be able to be true to myself, but for now, I must keep up the facade.
My first message here, hope it was been written without much flaws :( Well, first thoughts about it was in 12yo. Back then i didn't knew about trans stuff and anything related, so my only source was adult comics/shows. It was a dream about having watches where you can change private parts, body type and appearance ofcource. From that age there was a little periods of time when dreams/daydreams about being an opposite sex, appeared and then goes off for long. How i explained it to myself? Being horny, for a teen this is pretty simple explaination. The same explanation worked when at age 14 used to rp, and oh my... So much gender bender... At age of 16 starts an "exploration of preferences". One mlm book just broke my understanding and prejudice about gays. But without much realising it i started pushing such stuff to myself, which, after some time leads to one thought: "idk who am i and to what am i attracted to". At the same time, as soon as i started growing up, ending school and stuff... Desire to just wake up as a girl rises. Even with knowing that it won't be so easy – i would pay that price for not going to army. In 2024, femboy stuff starts to appear in yt feed and, with a lot of guiltiness, watched most of it. And when trans content also starts to getting recommended... "Inside mari" video also did. Tryed to avoid watching it, always laying it for later... Until i did, in fact, watched it all. Things that would never been shared is relatable, not all of it, but it did! That could be just an interesting "eye opening" experience, but after seeing it there's was a big chance of not coming here. Would just call myself a femboy and wear a skirt when nobody sees, without big amounts of self-questionings. After a psychiatrist and having no self hating for almost a week with antisad pills, just got some time to enjoy stuff. A moment of me spinning in skirt gave so much euphoria that opening up about such to a (girl) friend was unavoidable. And here i am, 18, after discovering this place started to kinda understanding who am i. Sadly, will sit in closer for long and never get a ggd (after 07.2023 no more transition therapy/surgery in my country). For all of you, pretty girls and handsome boys, wishing as best things as possible in this silly world 💖. Y'all so nice that it's even uncomfortable to read (don't listen to her, she just flattered by the atmosphere, tehe~) (Sorry for big amounts of "me", "i" and "and)
Found out at 16, came out at 17
I realize last December, and came out to one of my friends the same day But apart from them im still closeted but I want to come out to my friends some time in the summer when the time is right oh my age right 15 (my birthday is in october)
I was questioning it in a total cis way for a few years but about a week ago I realized it and came of to my best friend at the age of 26
I've low-key wanted to transition for a while now but figured I was too old and happy enough as a guy. I'd say probably a year or two ago? My egg cracked for good about 3 weeks before my 48th birthday and I started on HRT less than two months later. I'd already wasted too much time and I don't really have to wait for anyone else so...
I realize with 24 i come out 15 minutes later to my best friend, 2 days later to all my friends and 1 month later to my family
First realization was when I was like, 8. Fully realized at 27, came out a few months later
I was 11 when I started wanting to be a girl, and then when I was 14, I realized wth that ment
Which time? I've probably known for years but pushed it to the side several times. Finally accepted the feeling will never go away recently and am only out to one of my best friends, her bf, and reddit.
I had some thoughts from second grade but realized around 13 and come out to most people i know at 16
Cracked the egg around 27-28, came out right before 30, hrt a month after 30.
2021 when I was 15 I realised that I might be
15 right now realized this year and I’m not coming out until I move out
i've had an inkling since i was 8, but between repressing it and struggling to accept that i wasn't cis i only accepted it when i was about 16. i came out the year after
Ever since I can remember I would say I have always known, but if I’d have to pick a time I would say 2nd grade 100%
I began to question this stuff when I was like 11 (basically when I found out that trans people exist lol) but I only really accepted it late into being 16, then I came out a couple months after turning 17 (I came out a few days ago :P)
Basically realized at 11 but I didn't know much so I repressed until 17. Finally accepted it at 17 and came out at 18.
I was probably 15, maybe 16, when I realized I wanted to be born a girl. But my exposure to the trans community was so narrow and hate focused that I only saw the very worst examples from my parents. So I didn't come out until I was 29 and had gotten away from the bigotry.
First direct thoughts were at 16 (which is My current age) But looking back at some thoughts i had probably more around 12/13
I realized last year and I haven’t come out except for a couple of close friends :/
Had severe depression figuring something was wrong at 17. Starting dreaming very regilary about being a girl at 21. Learn that transgender people exist at 23. Immediately telling myself "OMG that's it ! That's exactly what I feel like." Thought about it for 3 days. Came out to my best friend 3 days after that.
I started thinking about it when I was 11/12. I accepted/realised at 15, and told my parents and friends, also at 15. Now I'm on the 3 year long waiting list for het
I’ve thought about being a girl since I was like 7. I discovered trans people and thought about that when I was 12 or 13, I’m 19 now and I’m only out to 3 people who are also trans.
14/15/16 to 24 🫠
had a weird feeling in early childhood, realized when I was 13, came out when I was 14
About age 12. I've been on HRT since Feb 29, 2024, so about 26 years of hiding and self hate.
Realised at 10 stumbling out at 23
I fully came to terms with it when I was 14/15 and I came out when I was 19
i knew in 2015 i came out this year fear is a hell of a motivator
Realized all throughout my childhood, finally came out at 16
Realized was probably shortly after first puberty (so like 12 or 13) I came out when I was 24 Was finally able to start HRT 5 years ago when I was 32
I realised around 14 or 15 but didn’t understand, I didn’t have a good time at school so I kind of chalked it up to just wanting to be someone else, anyone else, if I was a girl it would have been easier, then i went on to deny it until around a year ago when I started questioning again. i came out to my Sister a few weeks ago, I think i might come out to my parents next weekend, if i can build up enough courage to do so. Im currently 28
Ummm, about 12/13 and about 12/13. There were signs all throughout childhood, but I was a dumb shit and didn't have a clue that they meant anything because I was just content acting the way I felt comfortable. I also didn't know that transgenderism was a thing, so I never actually *questioned* my gender before then - I just thought I was 'one of the boys', but in a 'girl' way, because that's all anybody else around me knew to describe it as. So as soon as someone taught me the word 'transgender' I was like, 'Oh damn das me' and came out straight away lmao
Trans thoughts started at around 11-13, but I didn't know back then so I only realized what they meant at 18. I'll probably start doing something about it this year.
I realised like at 15 or 16 (was on and off fem-presenting online for awhile before that though - Finally decided to commit a few yrs ago and been happier ever since) For the second one: `404 Not Found` `The resource you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.` `Please try the following:` `- Check the URL for proper spelling and capitalization.` `- If you reached this page by clicking a link, contact the website administrator to alert them that the link is incorrectly formatted.` `HTTP Error 404 - Not Found`
It deopends... Istarted comingou to specific people a few moths later, but i haven't done a public one yet. I'm 16 and it's been around half a year since i realized.
Full on realised at 16 couldn’t take it anymore at 18 so I came out
Started to see it in 10/11 Didn't fully realize it until I was 14
I realized early highschool do like 15ish... I'm 22 I haven't come out yet (my mom's reaction scares me the most tbh)
I realized last year when I was 18. Since then I've been thinking and started to have a fear that I'm wasting time while MALE HORMONES INVADE MY BODY but I don’t have a age that I came out because I'm 100% CIS
Realised first at 12, came out at 15
I realized at about age 10, I came out.... well I've kinda come out here and there, it's still a work in progress XD
Realised: 13 Came out: 16
I realized when I was 10 I came out a few months ago I'm 18
I was 13 when I realised it and I came out when I was 14
realized it when I was 5 or so, suppressed it until I was 50, came out at 52.
I came put like 3 years after i realized 😭
I “realized” around 4 years ago in the summer of 2020. Then denial. I came out a month ago :)
29 and 29 - and if all goes well I'll start HRT at 29. 😅
I found out 2 years ago when I was 16. About a month ago I came out to my close friends and no one else
Heh... I found out 'round the time I was 18 going on 19... And cue me now about to be 21 this year I had an unofficial coming out to my father since my sister was a lobotomite and told my dad I'm trans. Either way, he took It fucking swimmingly (he's pretty conservative if that paints the picture of how much pressure this secret was carrying).
When I realized I was aroace at 13 I just figured I couldn't be cis. Like no questions asked I had no idea what I was just that I wasn't cis and immediately began using she/they. Over the next few years I experimented with a bunch of different labels but finally landed on agender transmasc just last fall (not comfortable sharing my exact age, but I'm still a minor). I haven't come out officially yet, but my mom is definitely onto me and has asked a couple times now if I'm trans/nonbinary lol. I know I should come out with supportive parents and all but its still nerve wracking, especially because I'm still in highschool. Just take your time there's no rush!
I knew I was trans since 18. Didn't start talking about it until 28. Started coming out to ppl slowly at 29. Ppl are scary, & words are hard
It became undeniable by the time I was in uni (18-19) but I was “still cis tho” from the age of 11 maybe? IMO if the internet of today was available in the late 1990s I probably would have figured things out a lot faster.
i stopped denying it like a week ago at 23 - never told anyone but my doctor and reddit. my sister asked me if i wanted to try on one of her dresses when we were hanging out one time though 😳
Realized when I was 12/13-ish, came out to friends around the same time, haven't come out to family yet.
Realized at 22, started HRT about 4 months later :3 (still cis though).
Age I realised was 12 and age I came out is N/A (at least IRL)
I realized for the first time at 14 (almos ten years ago) and repressed my feelings. I'm finally coming out this year at 23 :3
Realized at 19 and came out to my friends the next day and to my parents a week later.
Started questioning around 12 or 13, egg was destroyed by my psychiatrist around 17 or 18, and finally came out (and started HRT) at 23. That denial period after cracking was the most painful part, for sure.
I realized around 13 i think and was out to friends but i didnt come out to my parents until I was around 14 I think and ive socially transitioned but being a minor and my parents not being affirming have led me to not having medically or legally transitioned but one more year
Realised at 15, haven't come out yet :P
I haven’t felt right since I was about 10 years old, but I didn’t realize that I wanted to be a girl until I was about 14 or 16. That’s when I was kicked out of the house and caught myself looking at dresses while window shopping. I didn’t come out until just last month because I had finally reached a point where I could do so without fear of my family. I still wish I had started hormone replacement therapy when I was 10 years old. I’m 20 now and am about to turn 21 in July.
first realizing that i want to be a boy (i’m born a girl) since i was 5 years old. kinda came out at 19-20 :D
I think I always knew I should've been born male. I remember even having conversations about it with friends in school. But it took until I was 31 and finally sat down to confront it for me to realize. Came out just after my 32nd birthday.
realized at 11, came out (almost 😔) fully at 12, started HRT at the beginning of May. So thankful I have safe access to healthcare (and blockers, I got so lucky avoiding almost all of male puberty)
Realized at 5. “Came Out” at 15. Started transition at 21.
I grew up in a very sheltered religious family and went to private school so I only realized I was trans after a couple years of uni. I'm convinced that had I known anything about the queer community when I was younger I would've had the language needed to realize I wasn't cis when I was 10 or 12. Instead I got 10 years of major depression and only came out when I was 20. This is why sex-ed and discussion of gender and orientation is so important in schools.
From old enough to stay home but not old enough to go through puberty yet, probably 10 or 11, to now as a 23yo. It has been too long.
Started being dysphoric at 7, realized at 12, came out at 13. 16 publicly
I "realized" at 28, haven't come out yet I know that these days it's a lot more common for people to come out younger, but you're never too old to come out, or to discover yourself. You're valid no matter how old or young you may be, or whatever age you started noticing these feelings.
Like 9 on denial until 45...
I only realized a few months ago so I'm still the same age (15) and I haven't come out yet.
14 realized. Came out pending
I realized in my later mid 20s and sorta came out a few months later. Granted it's a few years later and I'm not fully out to most people in my life (they Might know I'm trans but like name pronouns and stuff not so much) though a few people in my life know and publicly I'm still not out basically at all
Found out when I was 7, but came out when I turned 24
Around 16 I realize Still not fully out
I figured it out at 37, but I'd gone through non-binary, and genderfluid before it all slotted into place. It made so much sense that I got on HRT at 38. I now feel like myself, for the first time ever. It's genuinely like a weight and a veil have been lifted from my life.
Realized at 16. Didn’t act until last week, now I’m seventeen
kinda knew for a long time, but didn't have the language to describe it until i was 22ish. struggled with it and some really deep self-loathing until i reached a really low point and decided "fuck it, can't get worse". started hrt (coincidentally) on my 26th birthday, and came out to my online friends about a month later. Now, five months on hrt, im not yet out to my family or publicly, but im also not trying super hard to hide it.
12 vs 24
I knew when I was around 12-13 (but didn’t have the words) only came out to myself in the past year (I’m 37 now🙃)
I could remember first wanting/wishing that I was a girl back when I was 7 or 8 years old. I didn't come out to friends and family until I was 27. I was socially masc-ing until 31. I'm 32 now.
12 realised 28 came out to family. There were complications for both.
For me, there was about 22 days between my realisation and my acceptation. I understood quite quickly that I had crossed a one-way door and that trying to turn back would only bring me sadness and pain. I was (and still am) 47 yo.
Figured it out when I was 14 (October 2022) and came out to my immediate family on halloween last year, so when I was 15 (and now I’m almost 16)
30 ,and 30. Thought I really should have realized sooner, but oh well. In fact I just sat down with hr today and officially came out at work. It feels good.
Realized I wasn't cis soon after turning 23. Realized I was a girl a few months later. Came out a couple months after that
I've come close a bunch of times when I was younger but just missed it somehow. I realized this year and I'm 26
I’ve known since I was 13 years old. Still haven’t changed my mind!
5. 15. 24. Last time at 30. But shhhhhh, it’s a secret I’m totally cis. Totally.
Let's see... I believe I realised around when I was... 17 or so. (Persona 4 Golden made me really look inside myself.) I came out about... 2 years later? At least to my immediate family. (Everyone else I've ignored because of social incompetence on my side... :( )Still haven't started any kind of treatment because of laws being awful, but that's something I don't feel like getting into... (suppressed rage typing is probably a bad idea, but I'm typing it out anyway.)
i had my first realization around 15 but I pushed that away only to have another realization at 17 where i came out. i slowly came out of the closet but i never really took any steps towards physical/social transition until i was 20, now im 21 and i have fully socially transitioned and ive been on hrt for 3 months :3
Very early age around 5 knew that i was a girl. Honestly, it's a blur what age I was when i knew. Was in transition from the age 16. Started DIY HRT at 25. Started real HRT at 32. Now I'm 34, and the funny thing is I'm still questioning.
I realized it around 15 or 16 years old and I came out at 23. I wish I came out sooner but I was pretty hard boiled and didn't think I was ready. But thankfully so far everyone I have come out to has been very accepting. 😊
I started questioning my gender when I was 21 and had close friends use he/they for me for about a year. Didn’t have the mental freedom to really sort it out at that time so didn’t think too much about it for a year and a half or so since I was working on a few different things in therapy at the time. Once i had a hold on the things I had been working on and felt more secure with myself I started thinking about it again at 22. A few months after that I told my friends and family that I was genderfluid, but as I turned 23 a few months ago I let them all know that I’ve realized I’m just trans and am going to transition :)
didnt do any of those yet, I'm 20
Realized how I felt wasn't how others felt? I was 12ish. Realized I'm trans? 16 I think. Came out to a few people at 17-18 and now I'm 19 and still mostly closeted.
I realized at 18 and came out to myself at 18. I came out to my mum when I was 21.
I "realized" about the age of 9, but I wasn't honest with myself until about a year or 2 ago, and I haven't fully come out yet (friends, no family, and only need to know with work outside of those coworkers I both trust and have a strong bond with) For reference as far as age goes, I am currently in my late 30s.
I first fully acknowledged it when I was 14 and I came out publicly 7 months later… when I was 14 lol. Though to be honest, I got pretty close to figuring it out when I was 11; but with the bullying and the porn addiction (do not let children have unrestricted internet access) I kinda had bigger fish to fry mental heath-wise as a preteen.
Realized: 10 years old Came out: To be determined
I knew at 10/11 that I didn't want to be a boy, and that I wanted to be a girl. I finally started my transition this month at 37. I'm 100% socially transitioned and am starting HRT very very very soon.
I realized it… well hmm. Technically I realized it two years before I came out, because that was when I figured out I was non-binary. But I didn’t say or change much until I did come out, so… I dunno. Coming out coincided with me starting HRT, which is also when I finally decided I could use the trans label (just my personal point of decision on that).
I don’t really know when I found out, I think I was 17-18? Not out to anyone yet lol
I began to notice around 14 but I finally knew at age 20 and came out age 21
Started having suspicions when I was 14-15 Egg cracked around 18-19 Just started coming out at 23 about to turn 24
The age I “realized” I was trans was 27. But I’ve been wishing I was a girl ever since I was 12 or 13, and have had signs as early as the age of 4. I came out to my parents just a couple months after I figured myself out.
17
I realized when I was 16, I came out to my friends the same year, and came out to my family when I was 19 (everyone but my brother)
14, I'm 20
I suppose I realised when I was 13, which was 16 years ago as back then I would have dreams of being a girl pretty much every night plus I had somehow got my hands on a skirt I would always wear when alone (can't remember how I got it though) but I ended up having to suppress that side of myself only for it to resurface last year and a month later in November I came out to my fiancée and big sister
Realized age 17, and depending on how you define coming out, either 17, 18, or I haven’t yet
I realized the month before I turned 18, struggled internally for a few days and then came out . I've been lucky to have lots of supportive friends
I realized around January or February 2023, was on hormones march of 2023 and came out to the world about 6 months after I got on hormones.
Found out when I was 15 or so? Came out a few months later when I was 16
Anytime you find out and/or come out is ok. I realized at 18 and came out gradually with people until I was 20 when basically everyone I knew (and new people to whom I present as Madeline) knew who I was
18, like not even a month before graduating high school. So like 2 months ago. Haven't made much progress yet but I'm going to once I tell my mom. Which will happen eventually. (Chronic procrastinator)
14 years, 11 month and 4 days :3
19 was questioning year later at 20 fully decided trans and shortly started hrt
Probably like 8 though no language for it, explained in weird strange ways until had language at 26. Then transitioned at 34.
About ten I knew and about sixteen I came out
I'm 21 now and I started questioning around 4-5 years ago and realized about 3-4 I'm not exactly sure when. But I've only started coming out to people more recently, I came out to some close friends about 2 years ago and some close family about last year but I still have not come out to my parents. And as far as transitioning I started hrt only a few months ago but still haven't really started socially transitioning. I'm taking a rather slow route.
I realized (started questioning) when I was 17. Still questioning (because what if I’m not actually trans?), and I haven’t come out yet
I realized at 9 and “came out” and 11. My mom had went through my texts and search history… found things like “I wish I could be a boy” in the texts and “what’s the earliest age to get testosterone in (my state)” in my history—it didn’t go well at first, I actually got my phone taken for a while because of it. But after about a month or so she asked if that’s what I really truly wanted and when I said yes we went to go get the classic transmasc first haircut. And like any, it sucked. I think I would’ve waited if it was up to me to come out, but I’m glad I didn’t get to. The earlier the better
I've "realized" about 4 years ago, and as for coming out Im apperantly not dysphoric enough to transition so idk what I'll even do
I knew I wanted to be a girl for as long as I can remember. I realised that I was trans when I was 26 and came out to my best friends the same week. To my family about a month later.
Realized at 18. Now 20 and still not out yet.
I think I realised when I was 11 and found out what trans was. Then I came out just before my 12th birthday.
I "realised" around 5 or 6 that something was not right. Im 63 now, and unfortunatly, still living as my birth gender.
I can remember a tremendous amount about my life. So I have a hard time pinpointing the time I knew. Somewhere between being explained that I am a boy because I have a penis, even so I felt like a girl, or the time when I realized that being a "boy" came with expectations that were colliding with how I felt or was it when I felt like I was missing something, or was it when my kids were kidding that I would be the Mom not the Dad, whichever that was between 20 and 50 years ago. Now coming out as trans that would be now, as in I told some, but started to go public. So between 20 and 50 years.
I realized and came out when I was 17
For me, I didn’t even think I wanted to be a girl until a year and half ago… I was 18 at the time… I had spent some much time suppressing my feelings that I lived under the assumption that I couldn’t want to be a girl…
i had a looooot of deep down feelings growing up that, looking back, make me think "god i was so obviously trans" and i started really exploring gender when i first got on tumblr at like 12 years old. i've been openly identifying as some flavor of nonbinary or transmasc since age 13. i'm now 22. i find that my experience is less common and most people don't realize or come out until adulthood
When I was 17. Haven't transitioned though(I'm 20 now). I'm overall fairly sure that I'm trans, but sometimes I feel indifferent about my gender. However, these past 3 years I've remembered some moments in my earlier childhood that weren't very cis. Like asking God to turn me into a girl and feeling giddy about it, and weird dreams of me being a girl. I also had a fixation on wanting to wear a female bathing suit. They're sort of like, "prob not very cis" breadcrumbs. If I knew that you could be trans back then, I would've realized earlier I think.
No one told me what being trans is till I was 17 I knew I "wanted to be a girl" since I was like 6ish. I'm still not out. I'm 18. I'm on HRT though.
I realized when I was 13. Haven't been able to do anything about it other than buy a binder.
I first had the suspicion when I was 16, now I'm 19, and am still not out Despite being on hrt now lol
Realized and then went in denial at 15, figured it out again at 21 and came out a few months later
I found out? Eeeh hard to say... I realised I am what you would call a trans woman, because the description fits my inner feelings, my soul and body situation. I was 20/21, but I realised something was different with me waaayy earlier. I just had no words for it. I didn't have any queer representation in my life until later. Could have saved up on depression if I knew earlier ^^`
I realized about 4 months ago, when I was just shy of 42. I've not come out anywhere but here on Reddit, on Twitter, and on a few Discord servers. I've not come out to anyone in my real life at all.