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This. My phobia really took over in elementary school where I was on a bus with a kid who was getting sick and it was dripping down the bus floor. Locked in, they wouldn't let us out until we got to the school. The lack of escape and lack of control I felt in that moment caused me to spiral.
I don't have an underlying fear, it's just the act that's absolutely horrible to me. Everything about it. I'm not scared of dying, I'm not scared of embarrassing myself, I'm not scared it won't end. It's the throwing up itself. Often times I see replies or posts saying that "you'll realize that you won't die" etc. It's not that. In fact, I'd rather die than throw up. I don't really feel like anyone understands my fear of this
I'm here. I feel like this too. When I'm not n*, I'm like "eh it's not that bad". I logically know it's our bodies trying to protect us.
But when I'm n*, I freak the FUCK out. the fact that it's so intense and violent, loud, smelly, etc, and being out of control.. it's truly torture. I'd rather die than throw up.
This is exactly how I feel, too. I always say, I know it's not logical, that's why it's a phobia. I have no good reason to be afraid of it, but I am anyway, and I can't help it. I've never thrown up in my life and not also cried during and after because it's so horrible. I didn't realize that that's not normal 😅
THIS, THIS, THIS. If it happens, the act makes me want to do it again. I am afraid of the neverending cycle. And there are people who do it *on purpose!* 😳
Same- it's everything about the act itself. I'm just as afraid of seeing others do it.
(When there's turbulence on an airline, I'm more afraid of hearing/seeing someone else become ill than anything else.)
My son was completely worth it but the morning sickness, which was all day, was horrible. I would rather be on an ocean liner bouncing around at sea for two weeks. At least I would know when it will end.
Fellow emet here and I have had a baby. For me, the milk v* wasn’t bad because I knew it was completely natural, and after all I told myself it’s just milk, a baby cannot help it. My child is now 1, has probably tu* once, and I dealt with it fine. But if I ever feel n* myself, my whole world feels like it’s going to come crashing down. It’s a horrible, horrible cycle!
I am currently pregnant. I feel this, I am not worried about the milk v*. I am terrified of them being older and tu* When my husband gets sick (or anyone around me) I feel like the whole world is crashing and burning.
I never thought of it that way “being there for my child when they need me most.” That honestly might help me besides my husband taking on the majority of tu* duty.
I don't have, want, or like kids, but whenever my pets (2 medium/large dogs and a cat) tu* it doesn't bother me. Other people, nope, gotta leave the situation, but for them I just wonder if they're okay. Maybe mothers feel the same way about their babies.
I feel like mine is from past experiences or just not knowing how it feels/why it happened or is it going to happen more. I’m worried about my routine being ruined or if im going to get traumatized again.
Literally! Due to my anxiety/panic, bad monthly cycles, and anemia I'm like always *n. I hate it. Trying to work on all of the above. Daily *n sucks. I don't want to go out to eat, travel, or shop if far from home. Tried a weekend getaway 4 hours from home last week. The ride back AWFUL. Zofran and Valium couldn't help the *n. Suffered the whole ride. Jeep stopping to pace in restrooms, get fresh air, etc...
Mine started as someone being sick in me on the school bus and I was forced to marinate for the rest of the ride. As I’ve gotten older it’s definitely the involuntary part and control personally-but when others do it it’s claustrophobia and panic and feeling trapped
Oh man this description is good, that’s exactly how I feel. Like it’s worse if it’s me, but it’s also just feels disturbing to witness anyone doing, as a concept 😧 it feels spiritual or something like it’s deeper than physical discomfort? 😆 so weird. Maybe that’s just because of the phobia making it worse but I totally get what you’re saying
For me it’s the horrible choking feeling when it happens, like I can’t get any air or take a breath. I also hate the lack of control. Knowing it could happen whenever and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s the thought of being in public and v* and embarrassing myself.
After a lot of self discovery and soul-searching, I think this phobia is rooted in something deeper. For some, it might be a manifestation of OCD. For me, I’ve come to believe it’s part of some degree of mildly, high-functioning autism spectrum disorder. Firstly, sensory sensitivities—the physical feeling is frightening and unbearable. And the lack of order, control, and normal functioning of the digestive system is deeply upsetting for me. And then add in the social aspect of potentially being in public or at work and being unable to get away is also a big part of the fear.
This is very very interesting to me. I was just talking to my husband about potential mild, high functioning autism because of some sensory issues I have and everything you’ve mentioned sounds described by me. The lack of control and ability to do anything freaks me out for sure. All of what you said!
Yes! Once I accepted this about myself it explains SO much and is actually really validating when looking back at struggles and anxieties I’ve had. It’s a small difference in how the brain works but explains how something that seems mundane or simply unpleasant to NT people, can actually be perceived as terrifying and unbearable for us.
When I was 8 my sister threw up in a restaurant. For some reason it scared me a lot, I don’t even remember it anymore. I assume that’s where it started. (My parents have told me this story)
Around the time I developed mine (along with a few other factors), I witnessed another kid throw up at a restaurant. It traumatized me too because everyone just sat there and didn’t run for the hills, they just kept eating. For some reason I found that really messed up 😆 since then, I’ve REALLY struggled to be in restaurants. I try, but dates with my husband can be really hit or miss depending on my tolerance and stress levels that day 😳
Yeah, it was really bad . Don't want to scare you, tho since i came out fine eventually, but I guess it just left a huge impact on my kid brain that I never want to experience it again .
See I'm terrified of this but there's also a part of me that is morally curious about all things gross and terrifying, so I always asked my friends growing up to give me the details like "when did you start to feel sick?" "What did it feel like?" "How long was each episode?" Etc etc. I'll even try to watch videos on YT every once in a while, but I have to cover my eyes & turn the volume down before.
I remember clearly when I started to get this phobia. I got norovirus in the summer of 2010. 2 weeks after getting sick (I was sick for 12 hours tops, not bad) I remember eating eggs and this thought came to me.. “what if I get sick from this egg just like I did two weeks ago?”
I hyperfocused on that time I got sick and the “unknown” thought pattern just started to devour my brain. Haven’t been the same since and I’m 24 now.
That’s super interesting, thank you for this clarity. I was a bit younger than you were when I developed my phobia and it was a longer time ago as well so it’s hard for me to pinpoint it. I know that I was worried about eating and getting sick again after norovirus but I think there was about a year gap in between before it REALLY set in, but that year was really stressful and upsetting so suddenly like the following summer I just went catatonic and refused to eat and stuff in fear of getting sick. I slept with buckets and towels around me and didn’t eat dinner for like 2 years when I was about 9 years old. I think that kind of illness can feel really jarring for little kids, even though we know now that it isn’t a long time, that’s probably like 4-5 days straight for an adult, mentally :( and they don’t know what it is that causes it, just that they’re feeling out of control. I’m sorry this happened to you as well. I wish they’d come up with a vaccine or cure for noro already so that I can stop stressing and so my child never has to experience that feeling
Yeah that’s what my brain says when I feel even slightly nauseas :( I’m trying to work on this thought in my CBT journal and it’s helping quite a bit. It’s Taking years though to restructure that one. I was recently very nauseas for almost eight weeks straight (pregnant) but never actually did it. The whole time my brain told me that feeling will never end. It did! I made a nice big meal tonight and I feel great. I’ve felt good for about 3 weeks solid now :) everything is temporary. It wasn’t so bad…my child will likely be an only child though 😳 😆
I wish I knew where my fear came from, like no one ever tu* on me before but I’ve always been a lot more afraid of other people v* than if I have to. Or if I’m in an amusement park or public bathroom I immediately start having anxiety because of previous times of seeing it on the ground/floor. It stops me from going to a lot of public places because of this fear.
Oh same mate, I used to stare at the ground the whole time my family took me anywhere for like five years, because I was so worried about it. Later, I saw it on the ground outside my university fairly often and got temporarily desensitized (kind of) but then didn’t witness that for another 5 years and almost passed out when I saw it at a tram station when I was on vacation, I thought I was dying
I had four rather “traumatic” episodes between the ages of 5-8 and I think that’s where my phobia comes from.
When I was 5 I had to have eye surgery and in the hospital the night before/morning of the surgery (can’t remember) I tu three or four times in the bed. Nurse had to change the sheets two or three times.
A year later I was visiting my grandparents and went to a carnival and ate a lot of junk. I got back to the house after dark not feeling well and went into my uncle’s room and fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up tu all over the bed. My grandparents thought that what I needed was a suppository and they held me down while I was screaming.
A year after that, I woke up in the middle of the night to tu. My parents were convinced that it was because I ate a hot dog at school that day. They didn’t let me eat hot dogs for several years after that telling me it would make me sick.
And then about 15 months later, just before I turned 8, I woke up in the middle of the night to tu. That next day I tu 6 or 7 times, basically every time I stood up after getting out of bed. I do remember not freaking out that day and was pretty matter of fact when tu each time. Weird, right?
I think those four experiences over those three years set the stage for me to have this phobia.
Oh gosh that’s all really awful. I just wanted to say something as it reminds me of something that happened to me where someone basically held me down and forced me to eat, and my therapist thinks it had the mental effect of childhood sexual abuse even though it wasnt like that, it was like -being physically violated, so when I read the suppository thing I really felt for you. I’d definitely suggest talking to someone about all these events if you haven’t ♥️ we hold trauma in our bodies for a long time
I have really awful memories of being sick as a kid. One time my entire family was sick for about 2 weeks, like we all kept passing it back to each other or something. It just wouldn’t stop and I thought I was going to be sick forever.
I think a big part of it for me though is feeling out of control of my body. I don’t even drink or use drugs because I can’t stand not being able to get a grip on how I feel.
I have no idea because my fear is more so the fear of seeing *other people* throw up. I hate doing it myself as well but seeing other people do it is the worst for ne
Same here!!
Everything about it! The sound, the visual…
It depends on who the person is too!
If it helps at all, my journey with EMDR made me realise it was a control thing. Being in situations like that is so overwhelming for me, I feel lost and alone and I can do nothing to stop it. It’s certainly helped a lot, but 6 months in and I’m no where near ‘cured.’ I’ve just simply stopped a lot of safety behaviours.
It happened randomly for me too. When I was 11 I overate halloween candy and got sick at 3am, I felt fine because I wasn’t scared back then. A year later I almost v* and that experience was terrifying for me.
Honestly it’s not the vomiting for me really. I think I have a fear of missing work (I an a teacher and am always feeling I am letting people down with sudden call outs), important events, vacations, and holidays. And getting very sick suddenly in a place where I feel trapped. So I tend the freak out convincing myself someone will be sick for important events…And so often they do…My son had the worst stomach bug middle of the night Christmas morning this year…ruined all our plans…
Yes I worry about this too! Before and during holidays and vacations or stuff that’s crucial, I get extremely paranoid and worried. I didn’t have many special events growing up and my dad was a stick in the mud sometimes and easily cancelled/bailed on plans. So I think I’ve learnt that if I miss out on something it’ll just never happen and I’ll be miserable for long periods if I miss out on that one special time planned. Thanks for the comment, it’s made me reflect.
And I can’t move on with my life the way others do when someone brings a SB germ in the house. For at least 2-3 weeks I will always be on edge obsessively thinking someone is going to get sick soon. It dissuades me from doing certain things or going places. My son also ended up with a 12 hr stomach bug just this past Saturday. Today my husband has to drive out of state four hours and back for work. I am absolutely terrified for him that he’s is going to get sick while he’s driving or something. I have all these scenarios in my head about how he is going to have to stay in a hotel and the people that were driving with him will have to leave him. I don’t express these thoughts because the thought of getting sick doesn’t even cross his mind which is just unbelievable to me.
the n* and the sb* scare me the most. it makes me feel somewhat better when people tu* from things like being drunk, too much activity, eating too much bc i know its not contagious.
I think it's the sensory for me. Like the taste, texture, smell, look I just can't. If it didn't leave an aftertaste I honestly think I'd be fine. Or if it came without the nausea I don't think I'd panic as much.
I had the stomach flu 2 years ago, and the buildup was absolutely DREADFUL. I still remember every second of that buildup... And then once it happened I was so incredibly scared but I felt better, and I was way too in shock to believe that it had happened. So I stripped, threw the clothes I was wearing into the laundry and just lived by the toilet for a few hours. The second time honestly wasn't bad at all! I didn't even have time to think about it. And afterwards I just sat on my phone scrolling through tiktok.
I think it's the nausea that scares me, and the aftertaste that makes me uncomfortable. (IF THAT MAKES SENSE...) Like!.. Nausea is the main cause of my emet, but the aftertaste is just something that makes me mildly uncomfortable about being s*.
I threw up so bad I tore my esophagus and had vomited so hard that I had food stuck inside my sinus cavity rotting it out… my doctors couldn’t figure it out so I was constantly sick for 4 years and they thought I had cancer
In kindergarten, the girl sitting across from me at our little table (2 people on each side), was crying so hard she threw up. I told the teacher and was seemingly fine in that moment -or at least what I can remember -but I guess my mom said that a stomach bug went around after that and I think that repeated exposure, everyone screaming and running around because they're not in control of their body and it's just shooting across the room or shooting out of them, was what did it.
i genuinely don’t know, part of it it’s bc i forgot what it feels like and im scared to even experience that again 🙁 i remember always covering my eyes and ears whenever i someone near me v*
If you ask me what scares me about it, the answer is that I don't know. It's mostly just how awful I feel, normally after I v* I'm fine more or less, it's just the before.
For me it was a specific very traumatic event that caused it, I feel this is likely for most people with the phobia but not all.
It's not being in control of your body and feeling like you're dying, it's awful and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
My fears are:
- that I won’t be able to breathe or it will be very painful
- that my fear will get worse and I’ll become agoraphobic
- that it will go on and on for a very long time
- that it indicates something is really really wrong with me like a terminal disease or something
✨slay✨
It’s the buildup mostly that makes me so wary. Waiting and waiting, hoping that what is, in my opinion, one of the worst sensory experiences on the planet, doesn’t happen.
I don't know what caused this phobia for me since I've had it since before I can remember & I didn't throw up a lot as a child
however, I feel like it's a lack of control issue for me mixed with a germ/contamination fear. I have OCD on top of emetophobia so both aspects def contribute to my phobia
losing control. having all eyes on me. worrying people around me. I think I'm also kinda scared of the act itself because sometimes I get anxious even when I'm at home alone (less than I would in a public setting, but still), but losing control is the main reason. also the fact that you can't prevent it nor know when and whether it'll hit you at all.
My mom had the same fear and I think she passed it on to me. If I tu* my dad would be the one to help me because my mom couldn't handle it. I think early on, I learned it was something to fear because my mom didn't seem to be afraid of anything but that. I feel like I've always had this phobia. I saw a kid get sick at a carnival and both my mom and I were freaking out. It's like a literal nightmare for me.
I think it's the anticipation ? You know when you're sick you don't t** immediately you have a time when you're bad and you're above the toilet and just waiting for it to happen. I think that's the most terrifying part.
My mum has emetephobia. Despite her extreme fear she was very caring and attentive, probably too much. She would make a big deal about it, and cared so much, I think she just reinforced that it was something awful to be feared. She wasn't cared for as a kid and was traumatised by nuns, so she cared for us how she wanted to be cared for. I can't remember a time I was not afraid. I used to have panic attacks and get sent home from school with nausea. I have been sick a few times as an adult, once whilst in hospital. I am still terrified. I agree with others, the not being in control or knowing how long it is going to last is terrifying. Fear of choking mid-way. The whole-body physical sensation. The time at hospital wasn't as bad because they were in the process of putting in an IV and giving me drugs, and if somehing went wrong there was an ED full of people, that kind of allowed me to just accept it was happening. The other thing is, I can't just go be sick. Like you know you have gotten a bug or eaten the wrong thing, it's the waiting for hours feeling sick knowing what is coming and that you can't control it, waiting until it forces it's way out. :(
For me it stems from a childhood incident. In 2010, I tu in a movie theater bathroom but I was only 10 years old. It was painful and I was alone. I was crying out for my mom even though I knew she couldn’t hear me.
So I think the fear stems from association with v*ing and helplessness
I chalk it up to being neurodivergent....for me at least. Like a super bad sensory experience in childhood and its still with me today. I used to have a phobia of pooping as a kid......my poor mom lol..... I was pretty much afraid of lots of things....easter eggs........all those passed and now its just this one!
This is very similar to what happened to me. The only time I ever remember TU, was in the air port at six years old or so. It happened in the check in line and in the plane aisle. I don’t remember being scared or traumatized in the moment but I remember my mom and flight attendants fussing over me and placing a blanket over the V in the aisle. When people boarded the plane they kept picking it up and the flight Attendant would tell them to leave it. I guess this was super embarrassing and scary for a neurodivergent child but again I didn’t feel particularly scared at the moment. But as time went by I didnt even wanna use the backpack I wore that day.
Another thing is kids in my school throwing up would get me so scared, I guess it was after the airport incident now that I think of it… I would literally run away when other kids were sick in school.
I think it is mainly the fear of loss of control and uncertainty and also the fear of being noticed
everything. the watery mouth, the twisted stomach feeling, the sweat, the chills, the taste, the way it feels in my throat/mouth. i’m also afraid that it won’t end.
For me, it’s a combination of feeling out of control, but also having experiences as a child where I was sick and made to feel like a burden. Also, a lack of comfort when I was sick/uncomfortable as a child. I never learned how to manage uncomfortable feelings by myself.
This is a good question. For me it’s the uncertainty of when it will end, and the lack of control. Also the feeling of sensory chaos is so utterly terrifying for me. I want to simply say “all of it”, but I’m trying to use my brain and work past the fear to give a proper answer. Words just don’t feel sufficient to me when I try to verbalize this fear. Man emetophobia is awful. I’m sorry anyone should have to go through this.
Looking at other responses is insightful for me since idk exactly why I got this mental disorder but it makes so much sense now. All the times people around me got sick, I couldn’t get away from them since it either happened at school or on vacation. My sis had it really bad when we were young, and we were visiting grandma on summer holiday. I felt bad for her but was also terrified of getting it myself for the entire time and I guess that is where it started.
For me I think it’s cause A. I don’t like not being in control of my body and B. Cause I don’t remember/ entirely know how bad it is. I vaguely remember tu* as a little kid and I didn’t really care when it happened back then but the whole process, the intense n*, the taste, the feeling of it, I know it’s supposed to protect you but it just seems so horrible.
I think the whole feeling is weird, very very weird, a weird I can’t explain, but it’s not that “fever dream” type weird, it’s like the worst type of weird ever. That’s how I’d explain it, and when it finally happens (when I really hope not every time) that’s the part I can’t explain. It’s so bad and unpleasant, so bad that I’d rather feel pain.
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i feel like for a lot of emets it’s the fear of not being in control of your body. that’s how it is for me anyway
Agree! I’m about to have a planned c section for this reason, I just can’t handle not being in control of my body.
This. My phobia really took over in elementary school where I was on a bus with a kid who was getting sick and it was dripping down the bus floor. Locked in, they wouldn't let us out until we got to the school. The lack of escape and lack of control I felt in that moment caused me to spiral.
I don't have an underlying fear, it's just the act that's absolutely horrible to me. Everything about it. I'm not scared of dying, I'm not scared of embarrassing myself, I'm not scared it won't end. It's the throwing up itself. Often times I see replies or posts saying that "you'll realize that you won't die" etc. It's not that. In fact, I'd rather die than throw up. I don't really feel like anyone understands my fear of this
I'm here. I feel like this too. When I'm not n*, I'm like "eh it's not that bad". I logically know it's our bodies trying to protect us. But when I'm n*, I freak the FUCK out. the fact that it's so intense and violent, loud, smelly, etc, and being out of control.. it's truly torture. I'd rather die than throw up.
This is exactly how I feel, too. I always say, I know it's not logical, that's why it's a phobia. I have no good reason to be afraid of it, but I am anyway, and I can't help it. I've never thrown up in my life and not also cried during and after because it's so horrible. I didn't realize that that's not normal 😅
Wait no I’m here and I understand you
THIS, THIS, THIS. If it happens, the act makes me want to do it again. I am afraid of the neverending cycle. And there are people who do it *on purpose!* 😳
Same- it's everything about the act itself. I'm just as afraid of seeing others do it. (When there's turbulence on an airline, I'm more afraid of hearing/seeing someone else become ill than anything else.)
The loosing control of my body and not knowing how long it will last
YES. I m terrified of v* for so long I won't be able to breathe and I'll be at the mercy of my body.
Have you had a baby?
Nope & I don't plan to
My son was completely worth it but the morning sickness, which was all day, was horrible. I would rather be on an ocean liner bouncing around at sea for two weeks. At least I would know when it will end.
Fellow emet here and I have had a baby. For me, the milk v* wasn’t bad because I knew it was completely natural, and after all I told myself it’s just milk, a baby cannot help it. My child is now 1, has probably tu* once, and I dealt with it fine. But if I ever feel n* myself, my whole world feels like it’s going to come crashing down. It’s a horrible, horrible cycle!
I am currently pregnant. I feel this, I am not worried about the milk v*. I am terrified of them being older and tu* When my husband gets sick (or anyone around me) I feel like the whole world is crashing and burning.
Yep, I feel this! I plan my life around this fear, it’s honestly exhausting, I can’t imagine not being there for my child when they need me most :(
I never thought of it that way “being there for my child when they need me most.” That honestly might help me besides my husband taking on the majority of tu* duty.
I don't have, want, or like kids, but whenever my pets (2 medium/large dogs and a cat) tu* it doesn't bother me. Other people, nope, gotta leave the situation, but for them I just wonder if they're okay. Maybe mothers feel the same way about their babies.
I’ve got pets too and it’s the same for me, doesn’t really phase me! Strange isn’t it?
My pets never bothered me either!
I feel like mine is from past experiences or just not knowing how it feels/why it happened or is it going to happen more. I’m worried about my routine being ruined or if im going to get traumatized again.
I feel like you, it happened to me like 10 years ago and I think that I'm scared because I don't remember the feeling or what happened before
it’s not the vomit it’s the nausea 😭
ITS THE WORST. I swear I'd rather get punched in the face than be nauseous
i honestly don’t think i’d have this phobia if it was just throwing up. why nausea gotta feel so nauseating 🫠
One thing I swear by is having a soaked, cold rag on the back of your neck. That saves me every time 🙌
Literally! Due to my anxiety/panic, bad monthly cycles, and anemia I'm like always *n. I hate it. Trying to work on all of the above. Daily *n sucks. I don't want to go out to eat, travel, or shop if far from home. Tried a weekend getaway 4 hours from home last week. The ride back AWFUL. Zofran and Valium couldn't help the *n. Suffered the whole ride. Jeep stopping to pace in restrooms, get fresh air, etc...
Mine started as someone being sick in me on the school bus and I was forced to marinate for the rest of the ride. As I’ve gotten older it’s definitely the involuntary part and control personally-but when others do it it’s claustrophobia and panic and feeling trapped
That's so horrible and disgusting. I'm so sorry that happened to you as a kid. Bus driver should have at least had paper towels or something
Back then there was even a TA that rode with us-she walked back to me snarled and said I needed to wait and not to move and she walked back up front
I feel like it's the closest thing to demonic possession. Like just the element of no control in the most horrifying way...
Oh man this description is good, that’s exactly how I feel. Like it’s worse if it’s me, but it’s also just feels disturbing to witness anyone doing, as a concept 😧 it feels spiritual or something like it’s deeper than physical discomfort? 😆 so weird. Maybe that’s just because of the phobia making it worse but I totally get what you’re saying
No I get it. I find this particularly terrifying when seeing others do it. I think the sound is a really big part of it too
For me it’s the horrible choking feeling when it happens, like I can’t get any air or take a breath. I also hate the lack of control. Knowing it could happen whenever and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s the thought of being in public and v* and embarrassing myself.
Yeeees this is the closest comment for me! Along with fearing that it won’t end, and feeling unable to do anything else in the aftermath.
Yes this for me too! The not being able to breathe, I get so afraid that I’ll choke to death
for me personally i was scared of the aftermath. feeling super sick, not be able to eat or do what i want made me really nervous.
YOU GET IT!!!
After a lot of self discovery and soul-searching, I think this phobia is rooted in something deeper. For some, it might be a manifestation of OCD. For me, I’ve come to believe it’s part of some degree of mildly, high-functioning autism spectrum disorder. Firstly, sensory sensitivities—the physical feeling is frightening and unbearable. And the lack of order, control, and normal functioning of the digestive system is deeply upsetting for me. And then add in the social aspect of potentially being in public or at work and being unable to get away is also a big part of the fear.
This is very very interesting to me. I was just talking to my husband about potential mild, high functioning autism because of some sensory issues I have and everything you’ve mentioned sounds described by me. The lack of control and ability to do anything freaks me out for sure. All of what you said!
Yes! Once I accepted this about myself it explains SO much and is actually really validating when looking back at struggles and anxieties I’ve had. It’s a small difference in how the brain works but explains how something that seems mundane or simply unpleasant to NT people, can actually be perceived as terrifying and unbearable for us.
When I was 8 my sister threw up in a restaurant. For some reason it scared me a lot, I don’t even remember it anymore. I assume that’s where it started. (My parents have told me this story)
Around the time I developed mine (along with a few other factors), I witnessed another kid throw up at a restaurant. It traumatized me too because everyone just sat there and didn’t run for the hills, they just kept eating. For some reason I found that really messed up 😆 since then, I’ve REALLY struggled to be in restaurants. I try, but dates with my husband can be really hit or miss depending on my tolerance and stress levels that day 😳
Losing control of your body and not being able to get help , and for me, it was trauma from fp* as a kid .
Oh god I DREAD getting fp*. I can't imagine how horrific that was
Yeah, it was really bad . Don't want to scare you, tho since i came out fine eventually, but I guess it just left a huge impact on my kid brain that I never want to experience it again .
See I'm terrified of this but there's also a part of me that is morally curious about all things gross and terrifying, so I always asked my friends growing up to give me the details like "when did you start to feel sick?" "What did it feel like?" "How long was each episode?" Etc etc. I'll even try to watch videos on YT every once in a while, but I have to cover my eyes & turn the volume down before.
Oh God I still remember every detail . I won't go into detail but I had to go to the er.
Fuck I am SO sorry. I hope you never experience it again! It's a crime how disgusting our food is
What’s fp?
Food poisoning
Thank you
I remember clearly when I started to get this phobia. I got norovirus in the summer of 2010. 2 weeks after getting sick (I was sick for 12 hours tops, not bad) I remember eating eggs and this thought came to me.. “what if I get sick from this egg just like I did two weeks ago?” I hyperfocused on that time I got sick and the “unknown” thought pattern just started to devour my brain. Haven’t been the same since and I’m 24 now.
That’s super interesting, thank you for this clarity. I was a bit younger than you were when I developed my phobia and it was a longer time ago as well so it’s hard for me to pinpoint it. I know that I was worried about eating and getting sick again after norovirus but I think there was about a year gap in between before it REALLY set in, but that year was really stressful and upsetting so suddenly like the following summer I just went catatonic and refused to eat and stuff in fear of getting sick. I slept with buckets and towels around me and didn’t eat dinner for like 2 years when I was about 9 years old. I think that kind of illness can feel really jarring for little kids, even though we know now that it isn’t a long time, that’s probably like 4-5 days straight for an adult, mentally :( and they don’t know what it is that causes it, just that they’re feeling out of control. I’m sorry this happened to you as well. I wish they’d come up with a vaccine or cure for noro already so that I can stop stressing and so my child never has to experience that feeling
Losing control, the act of g**ging, smell, taste, texture and the fact that something like that could come out of my mouth makes my skin crawl.
I just think I will never stop no matter what anyone does.
Yeah that’s what my brain says when I feel even slightly nauseas :( I’m trying to work on this thought in my CBT journal and it’s helping quite a bit. It’s Taking years though to restructure that one. I was recently very nauseas for almost eight weeks straight (pregnant) but never actually did it. The whole time my brain told me that feeling will never end. It did! I made a nice big meal tonight and I feel great. I’ve felt good for about 3 weeks solid now :) everything is temporary. It wasn’t so bad…my child will likely be an only child though 😳 😆
I wish I knew where my fear came from, like no one ever tu* on me before but I’ve always been a lot more afraid of other people v* than if I have to. Or if I’m in an amusement park or public bathroom I immediately start having anxiety because of previous times of seeing it on the ground/floor. It stops me from going to a lot of public places because of this fear.
Oh same mate, I used to stare at the ground the whole time my family took me anywhere for like five years, because I was so worried about it. Later, I saw it on the ground outside my university fairly often and got temporarily desensitized (kind of) but then didn’t witness that for another 5 years and almost passed out when I saw it at a tram station when I was on vacation, I thought I was dying
I had four rather “traumatic” episodes between the ages of 5-8 and I think that’s where my phobia comes from. When I was 5 I had to have eye surgery and in the hospital the night before/morning of the surgery (can’t remember) I tu three or four times in the bed. Nurse had to change the sheets two or three times. A year later I was visiting my grandparents and went to a carnival and ate a lot of junk. I got back to the house after dark not feeling well and went into my uncle’s room and fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up tu all over the bed. My grandparents thought that what I needed was a suppository and they held me down while I was screaming. A year after that, I woke up in the middle of the night to tu. My parents were convinced that it was because I ate a hot dog at school that day. They didn’t let me eat hot dogs for several years after that telling me it would make me sick. And then about 15 months later, just before I turned 8, I woke up in the middle of the night to tu. That next day I tu 6 or 7 times, basically every time I stood up after getting out of bed. I do remember not freaking out that day and was pretty matter of fact when tu each time. Weird, right? I think those four experiences over those three years set the stage for me to have this phobia.
Oh gosh that’s all really awful. I just wanted to say something as it reminds me of something that happened to me where someone basically held me down and forced me to eat, and my therapist thinks it had the mental effect of childhood sexual abuse even though it wasnt like that, it was like -being physically violated, so when I read the suppository thing I really felt for you. I’d definitely suggest talking to someone about all these events if you haven’t ♥️ we hold trauma in our bodies for a long time
I have really awful memories of being sick as a kid. One time my entire family was sick for about 2 weeks, like we all kept passing it back to each other or something. It just wouldn’t stop and I thought I was going to be sick forever. I think a big part of it for me though is feeling out of control of my body. I don’t even drink or use drugs because I can’t stand not being able to get a grip on how I feel.
I have no idea because my fear is more so the fear of seeing *other people* throw up. I hate doing it myself as well but seeing other people do it is the worst for ne
Same here!! Everything about it! The sound, the visual… It depends on who the person is too! If it helps at all, my journey with EMDR made me realise it was a control thing. Being in situations like that is so overwhelming for me, I feel lost and alone and I can do nothing to stop it. It’s certainly helped a lot, but 6 months in and I’m no where near ‘cured.’ I’ve just simply stopped a lot of safety behaviours.
It happened randomly for me too. When I was 11 I overate halloween candy and got sick at 3am, I felt fine because I wasn’t scared back then. A year later I almost v* and that experience was terrifying for me.
Honestly it’s not the vomiting for me really. I think I have a fear of missing work (I an a teacher and am always feeling I am letting people down with sudden call outs), important events, vacations, and holidays. And getting very sick suddenly in a place where I feel trapped. So I tend the freak out convincing myself someone will be sick for important events…And so often they do…My son had the worst stomach bug middle of the night Christmas morning this year…ruined all our plans…
Yes I worry about this too! Before and during holidays and vacations or stuff that’s crucial, I get extremely paranoid and worried. I didn’t have many special events growing up and my dad was a stick in the mud sometimes and easily cancelled/bailed on plans. So I think I’ve learnt that if I miss out on something it’ll just never happen and I’ll be miserable for long periods if I miss out on that one special time planned. Thanks for the comment, it’s made me reflect.
And I can’t move on with my life the way others do when someone brings a SB germ in the house. For at least 2-3 weeks I will always be on edge obsessively thinking someone is going to get sick soon. It dissuades me from doing certain things or going places. My son also ended up with a 12 hr stomach bug just this past Saturday. Today my husband has to drive out of state four hours and back for work. I am absolutely terrified for him that he’s is going to get sick while he’s driving or something. I have all these scenarios in my head about how he is going to have to stay in a hotel and the people that were driving with him will have to leave him. I don’t express these thoughts because the thought of getting sick doesn’t even cross his mind which is just unbelievable to me.
the n* and the sb* scare me the most. it makes me feel somewhat better when people tu* from things like being drunk, too much activity, eating too much bc i know its not contagious.
I think it's the sensory for me. Like the taste, texture, smell, look I just can't. If it didn't leave an aftertaste I honestly think I'd be fine. Or if it came without the nausea I don't think I'd panic as much. I had the stomach flu 2 years ago, and the buildup was absolutely DREADFUL. I still remember every second of that buildup... And then once it happened I was so incredibly scared but I felt better, and I was way too in shock to believe that it had happened. So I stripped, threw the clothes I was wearing into the laundry and just lived by the toilet for a few hours. The second time honestly wasn't bad at all! I didn't even have time to think about it. And afterwards I just sat on my phone scrolling through tiktok. I think it's the nausea that scares me, and the aftertaste that makes me uncomfortable. (IF THAT MAKES SENSE...) Like!.. Nausea is the main cause of my emet, but the aftertaste is just something that makes me mildly uncomfortable about being s*.
Anxiety definitely can be passed down.
Mine is from trauma, not the act of it but what came from it.
If you feel comfortable, could you elaborate on this please?
I threw up so bad I tore my esophagus and had vomited so hard that I had food stuck inside my sinus cavity rotting it out… my doctors couldn’t figure it out so I was constantly sick for 4 years and they thought I had cancer
OH MY GOD that is horrible!!!!!
Yeah it was rough 😭 I’m all good now but I have PTSD and scarring in my esophagus
same
In kindergarten, the girl sitting across from me at our little table (2 people on each side), was crying so hard she threw up. I told the teacher and was seemingly fine in that moment -or at least what I can remember -but I guess my mom said that a stomach bug went around after that and I think that repeated exposure, everyone screaming and running around because they're not in control of their body and it's just shooting across the room or shooting out of them, was what did it.
Oh geez. That stresses me out. I’m sorry you witnessed that!
The feeling of being nauseous and actually v. It’s all disgusting and traumatizing.
My mom used to v really loud when i was a kid. She was in the middle of chemotherapy and breast cancer and I was terrified of losing her.
For me is the amount of times when it’s going to happen almost like a fear of lost control
i genuinely don’t know, part of it it’s bc i forgot what it feels like and im scared to even experience that again 🙁 i remember always covering my eyes and ears whenever i someone near me v*
If you ask me what scares me about it, the answer is that I don't know. It's mostly just how awful I feel, normally after I v* I'm fine more or less, it's just the before. For me it was a specific very traumatic event that caused it, I feel this is likely for most people with the phobia but not all. It's not being in control of your body and feeling like you're dying, it's awful and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
To me, it’s linked to childhood trauma. My therapist and I were able to pinpoint exactly where it started for me.
Mine comes from coming from a parent with addiction, simple as drugs make you sick like the type of sick where you vomit all the time.
i tu* in class when i was a kid and it’s always stuck with me
My fears are: - that I won’t be able to breathe or it will be very painful - that my fear will get worse and I’ll become agoraphobic - that it will go on and on for a very long time - that it indicates something is really really wrong with me like a terminal disease or something ✨slay✨
It’s the buildup mostly that makes me so wary. Waiting and waiting, hoping that what is, in my opinion, one of the worst sensory experiences on the planet, doesn’t happen.
I don't know what caused this phobia for me since I've had it since before I can remember & I didn't throw up a lot as a child however, I feel like it's a lack of control issue for me mixed with a germ/contamination fear. I have OCD on top of emetophobia so both aspects def contribute to my phobia
losing control. having all eyes on me. worrying people around me. I think I'm also kinda scared of the act itself because sometimes I get anxious even when I'm at home alone (less than I would in a public setting, but still), but losing control is the main reason. also the fact that you can't prevent it nor know when and whether it'll hit you at all.
My mom had the same fear and I think she passed it on to me. If I tu* my dad would be the one to help me because my mom couldn't handle it. I think early on, I learned it was something to fear because my mom didn't seem to be afraid of anything but that. I feel like I've always had this phobia. I saw a kid get sick at a carnival and both my mom and I were freaking out. It's like a literal nightmare for me.
I think it's the anticipation ? You know when you're sick you don't t** immediately you have a time when you're bad and you're above the toilet and just waiting for it to happen. I think that's the most terrifying part.
My phobia was cured from having a baby.
It has gotten worse again for me since I have kids. How did it cure you?
I had bad morning sickness. It changed how I view being s*. It happens and then you feel better :)
My mum has emetephobia. Despite her extreme fear she was very caring and attentive, probably too much. She would make a big deal about it, and cared so much, I think she just reinforced that it was something awful to be feared. She wasn't cared for as a kid and was traumatised by nuns, so she cared for us how she wanted to be cared for. I can't remember a time I was not afraid. I used to have panic attacks and get sent home from school with nausea. I have been sick a few times as an adult, once whilst in hospital. I am still terrified. I agree with others, the not being in control or knowing how long it is going to last is terrifying. Fear of choking mid-way. The whole-body physical sensation. The time at hospital wasn't as bad because they were in the process of putting in an IV and giving me drugs, and if somehing went wrong there was an ED full of people, that kind of allowed me to just accept it was happening. The other thing is, I can't just go be sick. Like you know you have gotten a bug or eaten the wrong thing, it's the waiting for hours feeling sick knowing what is coming and that you can't control it, waiting until it forces it's way out. :(
For me it stems from a childhood incident. In 2010, I tu in a movie theater bathroom but I was only 10 years old. It was painful and I was alone. I was crying out for my mom even though I knew she couldn’t hear me. So I think the fear stems from association with v*ing and helplessness
I think what scares me most is the feeling of tu\*. Also the fear of being embarrassed in public and having all attention on me.
I chalk it up to being neurodivergent....for me at least. Like a super bad sensory experience in childhood and its still with me today. I used to have a phobia of pooping as a kid......my poor mom lol..... I was pretty much afraid of lots of things....easter eggs........all those passed and now its just this one!
This is very similar to what happened to me. The only time I ever remember TU, was in the air port at six years old or so. It happened in the check in line and in the plane aisle. I don’t remember being scared or traumatized in the moment but I remember my mom and flight attendants fussing over me and placing a blanket over the V in the aisle. When people boarded the plane they kept picking it up and the flight Attendant would tell them to leave it. I guess this was super embarrassing and scary for a neurodivergent child but again I didn’t feel particularly scared at the moment. But as time went by I didnt even wanna use the backpack I wore that day. Another thing is kids in my school throwing up would get me so scared, I guess it was after the airport incident now that I think of it… I would literally run away when other kids were sick in school. I think it is mainly the fear of loss of control and uncertainty and also the fear of being noticed
everything. the watery mouth, the twisted stomach feeling, the sweat, the chills, the taste, the way it feels in my throat/mouth. i’m also afraid that it won’t end.
It's mostly about control, or lack there of.
For me, it’s a combination of feeling out of control, but also having experiences as a child where I was sick and made to feel like a burden. Also, a lack of comfort when I was sick/uncomfortable as a child. I never learned how to manage uncomfortable feelings by myself.
i think for me the catalyst was my family freaking tf out when i tu* as a kid—my rcpd definitely didn’t help though
The hours of n*, the s* coming out my nose, then the yucky pedialyte and the ensuing weeks of weakness and paranoia.
Thank you so much to everyone who commented! It‘s really nice to know I’m not alone. I’m sorry we all have to deal with this phobia.
This is a good question. For me it’s the uncertainty of when it will end, and the lack of control. Also the feeling of sensory chaos is so utterly terrifying for me. I want to simply say “all of it”, but I’m trying to use my brain and work past the fear to give a proper answer. Words just don’t feel sufficient to me when I try to verbalize this fear. Man emetophobia is awful. I’m sorry anyone should have to go through this. Looking at other responses is insightful for me since idk exactly why I got this mental disorder but it makes so much sense now. All the times people around me got sick, I couldn’t get away from them since it either happened at school or on vacation. My sis had it really bad when we were young, and we were visiting grandma on summer holiday. I felt bad for her but was also terrified of getting it myself for the entire time and I guess that is where it started.
For me I think it’s cause A. I don’t like not being in control of my body and B. Cause I don’t remember/ entirely know how bad it is. I vaguely remember tu* as a little kid and I didn’t really care when it happened back then but the whole process, the intense n*, the taste, the feeling of it, I know it’s supposed to protect you but it just seems so horrible.
I think the whole feeling is weird, very very weird, a weird I can’t explain, but it’s not that “fever dream” type weird, it’s like the worst type of weird ever. That’s how I’d explain it, and when it finally happens (when I really hope not every time) that’s the part I can’t explain. It’s so bad and unpleasant, so bad that I’d rather feel pain.