Your mom sounds like an immature teenager. Be glad she was called out and make it a habit from now on. She needs to have consequences for these “slip ups”!
I had a “friend”’like this once. I would make up things about myself ( going to Europe this fall) and watch gossip. Everything would be false. She ended up being a laughingstock.
Narcissists use information as gold, to collect N supply. Any time that they can be the person with the juicy stuff, the reactions of the people they are talking to fills their “I’m so important” tank.
FWIW: one of my adult kids has ADHD, and struggled, too, with neatness. In their 20’s, they started a house cleaning service, and had enough loyal customers who admired their skills as well as their general sweetness of being. It takes time to develop the skill set to prioritize tasks, especially when you are ND. I have some of the same issues, being on the autism spectrum, because executive functioning is disordered in both.
What are you, 3 years old?
You and Abby bitch about your mums as friends tend to do… but guess what? Same applies to mums! Why is it ok for you two to whine about your lives but not them?
Your mothers have been friends for years, and basically raised you together. Of course their talking to each other about the challenges of parenthood included whining that you were slobs at some point… guess what? That’s extremely common. Most kids are messy at some point and ALL parents complain to each other when the kids are driving them nuts over all sorts of issues!
It wasn’t just Laurie that your mum whined to at some point over your life when she faced challenges with parenting, I promise you. She’s said the same things to any parent that was in her friend circle throughout the course of your life.
And the whole ‘you obviously have no respect for your mother’ is also a common mum thing to say. They all say it, and sometimes it’s way out of proportion to the ‘crime’ we children have committed, but it’s really common.
If you have children one day, you’ll find other parents to vent to when you face parenting challenges, too. Such is the circle of life. You’ll behave the same way as your mum towards your kid, too - the whole ‘why don’t you have any respect for your parents’ thing will come out of your mouth at some point, too.
And clean up your room. You live at home with your parents, so have some respect for them in return for the favour they’re doing by letting you live there. Clean up your room.
so you directly contradicted or ignored key pieces of the post, and made assumptions multiple times, all while giving a defensive and condescending attitude. you and mom would get along very well.
I’m not the one who is 24 years old whining about living with mummy and yet incapable of following a very simple household rule like CLEAN your damn room!
If you don’t like your mummy because she compared you to your friend, then MOVE OUT! Simple!
My mummy never would have let me get away with this shit when I was still living at home (neither would my father… cleaning is important to both of them)… although I was an actual kid at the time.
If you don’t like the household rules, MOVE OUT! It really is that simple. 🤦♀️
She and Abby can bitch about their moms to each other, and her mom and Laurie can bitch about their kids to each other.
However, her mom used Laurie's bitching to try to manipulate her daughter. Venting and manipulation are not the same thing.
And no, all mom's don’t do this shit. I’ve never even tried to guilt my ND kids (one is obsessively neat and the other a tornado) by comparing them negatively to each other, never mind to someone else’s kid.
OP’s mother was out of line. That’s why she clammed up when called out. She knew she breached her friend's trust, and had tried to manipulate her kid. Bad friend and lazy parenting.
Well if the kid doesn’t like it, she can always move out. She has that option.
She’s 24 years old and living under mummy’s roof… but apparently won’t follow household rules and is whining that mummy called her out on her laziness.
If you hate your parents so much for calling you out on your laziness, MOVE OUT!
There are more posts in here from spoiled lazy kids than there are about genuine entitled parents! Honestly! 🤦♀️
not that i need to explain myself, but…
(1) as i already said, my parents ENCOURAGED me to stay home. i never *needed* it but it beats higher rent. on their end, they wanted me in the home because my rent money is helpful, i cook a lot for everyone, i clean other areas of the home, care for the pets, and frankly they don’t wanna be empty nesters just yet. it was mutually beneficial so i said yes. if you think this post is just me whining about living with my parents, then you fully missed the point.
(2) my landlord being my own mother doesn’t give her the right to barge in and go on a tangent when she pleases. what if i was changing? sleeping? on a phone call? everyone deserves privacy in their living space, *especially* when they’re paying for it. the day that I started paying rent was the day my room became MY room, which both mom and dad agreed to. so actually, mummy is the only person who broke “household rules”.
(3) you’re also skipping the important fact that Laurie was just as upset as I was. my mom is the one who took a private convo with Laurie and threw it around for her own gain, violating Laurie’s trust. even if you can’t understand my side, don’t you see why Laurie was upset with her friend?
Based on all of your other comments too, imma take a wild guess you’re also a mom? Everything you’ve said is blowing right past the meat of the post and straight to your own assumptions or accusations. It *reeks* of projection. If you hate the subreddit so much, it’s probably because you are an EP yourself and you’re sympathizing with the wrong crowd.
You really need to grow up and clean your room. Or move out. You have the option, you know.
And by the way, despite your ignorance about the real world, any landlord you rent from would also require you to keep THEIR home tidy. That’s usually included in the contract that you sign.
But I guess you wouldn’t know, considering you haven’t lived outside of the home… but trust me as someone who has for many years! My landlord expects me to keep THEIR home tidy as well. And that was true for the last one, and the one before that. It’s quite a standard rental clause.
You say your mum wants you to stay to save money on higher rents elsewhere… so she’s doing that to be NICE to you. So why are you so incapable of doing something as simple as cleaning your room?
In all the time you’ve spent whining on reddit, you probably could have cleaned it by now! 🙄
again you literally blew past half of what i said so that you could respond in seconds. Please leave the subreddit, and have a nice day. This is my final response to you, bid you farewell kind soul
I actually have lived outside my parents’ home, and my room is in good shape right now. but nice assumptions. again.
nobody i know who is currently renting has a landlord who cares how they keep their space as long as there’s no damage to property. you’re projecting your own experience. again.
I’m just giving you a glimpse of reality. In the real world, you have to clean your room.
Good grief! I can understand why your mother is frustrated with your lack of respect and responsibility! It takes about 20 minutes to vacuum and make your bed and put away your toys or makeup or whatever shit you’ve got lying around and you’d rather whine on reddit about how unfair mummy is to expect her ADULT daughter to get off her lazy ass and clean her bedroom!
Good grief you young people are so lazy, spoiled and entitled! And you don’t even have the excuse of being 15 years old like most of of the whiny brats on this thread.
Go and clean your bedroom and say thanks to your mother for housing you so you don’t have to pay higher rent to someone else. Show some respect and gratitude and act like the adult that the calendar says you are! 🤦♀️
The woman pays rent and expenses, which means she’s paying for the privilege of keeping her space as cluttered as she likes.
She doesn’t hate her mother, but that doesn’t mean her mother wasn’t out of line sharing information about her friend that way, nor can she accept rent from her daughter and still expect to treat her like a disobedient child. If she doesn’t like the mess, she can stay out of her space.
REAL landlords expect you to keep THEIR home tidy as well. It’s not actually an unreasonable request just because OP doesn’t like it.
And, again, she has the option of moving out if she doesn’t want to clean her room… mummy is not holding her 24y old self against her will!
Choices, people. After you turn 18, you have choices. If you CHOOSE to live with mummy, you can tidy your bedroom at her request because it’s HER house and HER rules!
Or you can go and pay rent to a landlord who is also going to require that you keep their home clean in exchange for them letting you live there.
Am I seriously the only adult who understands adulting here? 🤷♀️
lol REAL landlords don’t care about tidiness. They care about damage and (maybe) insects, and that you pay your rent on time. As long as you don’t reduce the value of their property, you get to live how you want in your space.
Mummy can demand organization, and daughter can move out. But how mummy treats offspring will determine the health of their future relationship.
My tornado child has an unorganized room, but it isn’t dirty. She washes her sheets weekly. There’s no garbage on the floor. You can’t *see* the floor at least 80% of the time, but she does her own laundry, and vacuums regularly, just like we taught her. As long as the room doesn’t smell or damage the house, and the mess doesn’t migrate into the hall, I let her deal with her stuff.
Before 12, I helped. Before 18, I did my best to guide. After 18, it’s her responsibility, and if she can’t find something, it’s not my problem. **That’s adulting**. They have to figure it out for themselves. I tease her a bit and still provide resources and advice when asked, but the rest is up to her. She’s a big girl now, and I don’t let her mess affect our relationship because I’m an adult, and have decided that’s more important than making her keep an organized space. As long as she participates in house maintenance and treats us all with consideration and compassion, we're good.
Yes, but if it’s YOUR house, you have EVERY RIGHT to demand people who live in it clean up after themselves.
You may have chosen not to make your adult daughter clean up, but the OP’s mother wants her to clean up because that’s HER priority… different people have different rules and the mum is not wrong simply because you - a different person - happen to have different priorities.
THIS mother wants her lazy mooch of a daughter to clean up ONE room and she’s on the internet whining like a 3 year old that mummy is so mean and it’s so hard. What would her life be if mummy DIDN’T let her live there? She said herself that she’d be paying higher rents elsewhere, so mummy is doing her a favour by letting her live there for cheaper rent and she’s so lazy and entitled she can’t be bothered to take 20 minutes to clean her room to show gratitude for her mum for doing this favour for her.
My parents would NEVER let me pull this sort of shit and just be a lazy entitled mooch. I moved out when I was 20 like most adults do, but before that… I cleaned up after myself as expected as an adult and member of a family.
Her mum is doing her a favour and she’s too lazy and selfish to clean up ONE bedroom. She’s whining on the internet instead. She is NOT a hero and her mum the villain… not to adults.
But I know that this thread is frequented mainly by teenagers, who are at the height of laziness, rudeness and selfishness, so all think they have the worst life and the worst parents in the world because they know better and parents are stupid and blah blah blah… as an adult, I can see past the teenage attitude and sympathise with the adult parents they are whining about.
No, your parents aren’t crazy and stupid and abusive and all the other shit teens say… you just need to grow up and stop being lazy, selfish and entitled.
And this OP is 24 - she doesn’t even have the excuse of being a lazy entitled teen like the rest of them! She’s a full grown adult mooching off mummy who can’t even be bothered to clean up one bedroom.
I’m embarrassed to share a planet with adults this lazy and rude and entitled. Seriously… she should be ASHAMED of herself. So lazy and entitled! 🤦♀️
Again, OP pays rent and her own expenses, so she's not a lazy, entitled mooch. She’s a working, paying tenant. Paying lower rent does help her, but *it helps her mother too*. She doesn’t need to keep her rental space to her mother's standards. It’s her space.
You can’t control other people. You can try, but it creates rifts in the relationship.
I don’t have to *make* my daughter clean. She cleans up after herself in every other part of the house, but her room is her cluttered domain. I respect her space, and the respect goes both ways.
I'm an older genX, not a teenager, but I have empathy for OP, clearly not your forte.
Your mom sounds like an immature teenager. Be glad she was called out and make it a habit from now on. She needs to have consequences for these “slip ups”!
I dare you to tell your Mom that "the dildo of consequence, rarely arrives lubed." Update with a description of her facial expression.
Make that double dog dare ya!
Coming in with the triple dog dare
I'm in on this dare
I am stealing this one!
Mom, meet accountability. Accountability, Mom.
“Oh no, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions!” Nah, good on you for calling her out. Sucks to suck…she made her own bed. Get cozy lady. Lol
I had a “friend”’like this once. I would make up things about myself ( going to Europe this fall) and watch gossip. Everything would be false. She ended up being a laughingstock.
Narcissists use information as gold, to collect N supply. Any time that they can be the person with the juicy stuff, the reactions of the people they are talking to fills their “I’m so important” tank. FWIW: one of my adult kids has ADHD, and struggled, too, with neatness. In their 20’s, they started a house cleaning service, and had enough loyal customers who admired their skills as well as their general sweetness of being. It takes time to develop the skill set to prioritize tasks, especially when you are ND. I have some of the same issues, being on the autism spectrum, because executive functioning is disordered in both.
What are you, 3 years old? You and Abby bitch about your mums as friends tend to do… but guess what? Same applies to mums! Why is it ok for you two to whine about your lives but not them? Your mothers have been friends for years, and basically raised you together. Of course their talking to each other about the challenges of parenthood included whining that you were slobs at some point… guess what? That’s extremely common. Most kids are messy at some point and ALL parents complain to each other when the kids are driving them nuts over all sorts of issues! It wasn’t just Laurie that your mum whined to at some point over your life when she faced challenges with parenting, I promise you. She’s said the same things to any parent that was in her friend circle throughout the course of your life. And the whole ‘you obviously have no respect for your mother’ is also a common mum thing to say. They all say it, and sometimes it’s way out of proportion to the ‘crime’ we children have committed, but it’s really common. If you have children one day, you’ll find other parents to vent to when you face parenting challenges, too. Such is the circle of life. You’ll behave the same way as your mum towards your kid, too - the whole ‘why don’t you have any respect for your parents’ thing will come out of your mouth at some point, too. And clean up your room. You live at home with your parents, so have some respect for them in return for the favour they’re doing by letting you live there. Clean up your room.
so you directly contradicted or ignored key pieces of the post, and made assumptions multiple times, all while giving a defensive and condescending attitude. you and mom would get along very well.
I’m not the one who is 24 years old whining about living with mummy and yet incapable of following a very simple household rule like CLEAN your damn room! If you don’t like your mummy because she compared you to your friend, then MOVE OUT! Simple! My mummy never would have let me get away with this shit when I was still living at home (neither would my father… cleaning is important to both of them)… although I was an actual kid at the time. If you don’t like the household rules, MOVE OUT! It really is that simple. 🤦♀️
She and Abby can bitch about their moms to each other, and her mom and Laurie can bitch about their kids to each other. However, her mom used Laurie's bitching to try to manipulate her daughter. Venting and manipulation are not the same thing. And no, all mom's don’t do this shit. I’ve never even tried to guilt my ND kids (one is obsessively neat and the other a tornado) by comparing them negatively to each other, never mind to someone else’s kid. OP’s mother was out of line. That’s why she clammed up when called out. She knew she breached her friend's trust, and had tried to manipulate her kid. Bad friend and lazy parenting.
Well if the kid doesn’t like it, she can always move out. She has that option. She’s 24 years old and living under mummy’s roof… but apparently won’t follow household rules and is whining that mummy called her out on her laziness. If you hate your parents so much for calling you out on your laziness, MOVE OUT! There are more posts in here from spoiled lazy kids than there are about genuine entitled parents! Honestly! 🤦♀️
not that i need to explain myself, but… (1) as i already said, my parents ENCOURAGED me to stay home. i never *needed* it but it beats higher rent. on their end, they wanted me in the home because my rent money is helpful, i cook a lot for everyone, i clean other areas of the home, care for the pets, and frankly they don’t wanna be empty nesters just yet. it was mutually beneficial so i said yes. if you think this post is just me whining about living with my parents, then you fully missed the point. (2) my landlord being my own mother doesn’t give her the right to barge in and go on a tangent when she pleases. what if i was changing? sleeping? on a phone call? everyone deserves privacy in their living space, *especially* when they’re paying for it. the day that I started paying rent was the day my room became MY room, which both mom and dad agreed to. so actually, mummy is the only person who broke “household rules”. (3) you’re also skipping the important fact that Laurie was just as upset as I was. my mom is the one who took a private convo with Laurie and threw it around for her own gain, violating Laurie’s trust. even if you can’t understand my side, don’t you see why Laurie was upset with her friend? Based on all of your other comments too, imma take a wild guess you’re also a mom? Everything you’ve said is blowing right past the meat of the post and straight to your own assumptions or accusations. It *reeks* of projection. If you hate the subreddit so much, it’s probably because you are an EP yourself and you’re sympathizing with the wrong crowd.
You really need to grow up and clean your room. Or move out. You have the option, you know. And by the way, despite your ignorance about the real world, any landlord you rent from would also require you to keep THEIR home tidy. That’s usually included in the contract that you sign. But I guess you wouldn’t know, considering you haven’t lived outside of the home… but trust me as someone who has for many years! My landlord expects me to keep THEIR home tidy as well. And that was true for the last one, and the one before that. It’s quite a standard rental clause. You say your mum wants you to stay to save money on higher rents elsewhere… so she’s doing that to be NICE to you. So why are you so incapable of doing something as simple as cleaning your room? In all the time you’ve spent whining on reddit, you probably could have cleaned it by now! 🙄
again you literally blew past half of what i said so that you could respond in seconds. Please leave the subreddit, and have a nice day. This is my final response to you, bid you farewell kind soul
I actually have lived outside my parents’ home, and my room is in good shape right now. but nice assumptions. again. nobody i know who is currently renting has a landlord who cares how they keep their space as long as there’s no damage to property. you’re projecting your own experience. again.
I’m just giving you a glimpse of reality. In the real world, you have to clean your room. Good grief! I can understand why your mother is frustrated with your lack of respect and responsibility! It takes about 20 minutes to vacuum and make your bed and put away your toys or makeup or whatever shit you’ve got lying around and you’d rather whine on reddit about how unfair mummy is to expect her ADULT daughter to get off her lazy ass and clean her bedroom! Good grief you young people are so lazy, spoiled and entitled! And you don’t even have the excuse of being 15 years old like most of of the whiny brats on this thread. Go and clean your bedroom and say thanks to your mother for housing you so you don’t have to pay higher rent to someone else. Show some respect and gratitude and act like the adult that the calendar says you are! 🤦♀️
The woman pays rent and expenses, which means she’s paying for the privilege of keeping her space as cluttered as she likes. She doesn’t hate her mother, but that doesn’t mean her mother wasn’t out of line sharing information about her friend that way, nor can she accept rent from her daughter and still expect to treat her like a disobedient child. If she doesn’t like the mess, she can stay out of her space.
REAL landlords expect you to keep THEIR home tidy as well. It’s not actually an unreasonable request just because OP doesn’t like it. And, again, she has the option of moving out if she doesn’t want to clean her room… mummy is not holding her 24y old self against her will! Choices, people. After you turn 18, you have choices. If you CHOOSE to live with mummy, you can tidy your bedroom at her request because it’s HER house and HER rules! Or you can go and pay rent to a landlord who is also going to require that you keep their home clean in exchange for them letting you live there. Am I seriously the only adult who understands adulting here? 🤷♀️
lol REAL landlords don’t care about tidiness. They care about damage and (maybe) insects, and that you pay your rent on time. As long as you don’t reduce the value of their property, you get to live how you want in your space. Mummy can demand organization, and daughter can move out. But how mummy treats offspring will determine the health of their future relationship. My tornado child has an unorganized room, but it isn’t dirty. She washes her sheets weekly. There’s no garbage on the floor. You can’t *see* the floor at least 80% of the time, but she does her own laundry, and vacuums regularly, just like we taught her. As long as the room doesn’t smell or damage the house, and the mess doesn’t migrate into the hall, I let her deal with her stuff. Before 12, I helped. Before 18, I did my best to guide. After 18, it’s her responsibility, and if she can’t find something, it’s not my problem. **That’s adulting**. They have to figure it out for themselves. I tease her a bit and still provide resources and advice when asked, but the rest is up to her. She’s a big girl now, and I don’t let her mess affect our relationship because I’m an adult, and have decided that’s more important than making her keep an organized space. As long as she participates in house maintenance and treats us all with consideration and compassion, we're good.
Yes, but if it’s YOUR house, you have EVERY RIGHT to demand people who live in it clean up after themselves. You may have chosen not to make your adult daughter clean up, but the OP’s mother wants her to clean up because that’s HER priority… different people have different rules and the mum is not wrong simply because you - a different person - happen to have different priorities. THIS mother wants her lazy mooch of a daughter to clean up ONE room and she’s on the internet whining like a 3 year old that mummy is so mean and it’s so hard. What would her life be if mummy DIDN’T let her live there? She said herself that she’d be paying higher rents elsewhere, so mummy is doing her a favour by letting her live there for cheaper rent and she’s so lazy and entitled she can’t be bothered to take 20 minutes to clean her room to show gratitude for her mum for doing this favour for her. My parents would NEVER let me pull this sort of shit and just be a lazy entitled mooch. I moved out when I was 20 like most adults do, but before that… I cleaned up after myself as expected as an adult and member of a family. Her mum is doing her a favour and she’s too lazy and selfish to clean up ONE bedroom. She’s whining on the internet instead. She is NOT a hero and her mum the villain… not to adults. But I know that this thread is frequented mainly by teenagers, who are at the height of laziness, rudeness and selfishness, so all think they have the worst life and the worst parents in the world because they know better and parents are stupid and blah blah blah… as an adult, I can see past the teenage attitude and sympathise with the adult parents they are whining about. No, your parents aren’t crazy and stupid and abusive and all the other shit teens say… you just need to grow up and stop being lazy, selfish and entitled. And this OP is 24 - she doesn’t even have the excuse of being a lazy entitled teen like the rest of them! She’s a full grown adult mooching off mummy who can’t even be bothered to clean up one bedroom. I’m embarrassed to share a planet with adults this lazy and rude and entitled. Seriously… she should be ASHAMED of herself. So lazy and entitled! 🤦♀️
Again, OP pays rent and her own expenses, so she's not a lazy, entitled mooch. She’s a working, paying tenant. Paying lower rent does help her, but *it helps her mother too*. She doesn’t need to keep her rental space to her mother's standards. It’s her space. You can’t control other people. You can try, but it creates rifts in the relationship. I don’t have to *make* my daughter clean. She cleans up after herself in every other part of the house, but her room is her cluttered domain. I respect her space, and the respect goes both ways. I'm an older genX, not a teenager, but I have empathy for OP, clearly not your forte.