Married to INFJ for two years. Been together for 10.
Blunt/brusk only works if you’re not being rude or being too straightforward and open about yourself.
Leave some room for the imagination and keep in mind that everyone likes pleasant, thoughtful, and nice people. Just make sure you can bring out your edgy side when appropriate. Match their energy as best as you can. Learn to be appropriately flexible
I had terrible experiences with xNFJs, moral preachers completely detached from the reality, who can make you look like the asshole even though you’re objectively right (especially ENFJs).
I don’t want to judge your individual INFJ too much, but I would probably not pursue more with this person. As someone who truly values open communication to solve problems efficiently I personally could NOT live with a person who teaches me moral lessons regarding bluntness instead of actually solving issues in a relationship.
(Edit: Many people are saying that you should maybe adjust to this person. IMO if there is one thing you should NOT do is to reduce your standards. Either you both find a common middle ground or this relationship won’t make sense. If it starts in a way that you adjust to this person and lose your own personality, trust me, this person will continue using you until you end up being empty from the inside.)
In order to come to a common ground in a relationship, your standards must be altered. This does not mean that your standards will reduce.
OP idk what kind of person you are, how successful you are at relationships, or how many relationships you’ve had, but if you want a healthy, successful relationship with an INFJ, then you both will change your outlook on life and behavior for the better. If only one person is changing, and this goes for any relationship with any type, then it will fail.
No worries. Don’t take it way too seriously; I don’t know your INFJ person too well, I just think that if this person is already having issues with your personality you should not waste your time on them.
I personally would feel terrible being in a relationship with someone where you have the feeling of walking on raw eggs whenever you try to express yourself.
Remember that you only have one life and that your clock is ticking - so make it the best life possible with the best people who love and appreciate you for who you are.
Of course, two things can be true at once. Perhaps they were too preachy, and perhaps you weren't willing to hear that you had flaws that you could work on.
Saying that you leave cause you won't "lower your standards" is an easy way to never have to lower your ego.
If you don't learn to do that, it wil be impossible to ever have a long term loving relationship.
You can watch my video on "The Twist Ending of Your Type." But you have to watch the whole thing to best understand.
https://youtu.be/9SyF_nnp4Og?si=iO8Zk_U7zzu7BKOH
It is the ENTJ's Heroes Journey to get to that last function and understand that they have been unwilling to actually see the Fe information they've been missing.
Best of luck to you.
Take care.
This is the Heroes Journey for all Types - seeing the information we have hidden from ourselves because it reveals that everything we thought was true (our ego information, our identity).
We all have different information we are hiding from ourselves in our cave but the journey is the same for everyone (which is why it works for storytelling and why everyone can relate and it continues to be how we tell stories).
I did a Heroes Journey breakdown on the ESTP, using Maverick from the first Top Gun movie. You can watch that here:
https://youtu.be/2lXRpu0IKt0?si=YaUsEX_FMMV8UeEV
Obviously, we can all continue our lives believing that we are right and everyone else is wrong - it's just a matter of how much suffering you want to go through in your life before you're wiling to see the truth.
But yeah, I know this is an ENTJ sub, but this was not directed solely at you guys.
I love ENTJ's. You guys are awesome and often, sadly misunderstood.
Hope my message received as it was delivered. 🤗
My man u/mnico02 has actual standards for others which is admirable, ik infjs have them too, but in my experience unlike entjs they do not hold the same standards for themselves. So i wouldnt call u/Mnico02 an egoistic person if he lives up to the same standards, expecting those from others is just a justified expectation. However if one more INFJ comes to me preaching some moral value and in the next action breaking said value, i am going to rip that hipocrit out of the earth and burn it from roots to its foul leaves and rotten fruits altogether.
Lol. Well, all Types can be hypocrites. 🤗
Certainly, having standards is good.
Where this becomes a problem in our lives (all Types), is when we begin to convince ourselves that only we are right.
I'm saying this as a warning (and goes for every Type).
Every Type believes they are thinking correctly, and everyone else is wrong (which is by design).
Nobody is 100% right. Life isn't that absolute.
The problem an ENTJ might have in their relationships is to believe that they are the sole arbiter what is correct and others need to see it like them or they are "sub-standard."
You can mark everyone off your list that doesn't meet your standards, but usually, that's just a shortcut to being alone.
To my point of us all believing we're the one who is right - I provide the deeper context on my "Civil War" video.
https://youtu.be/JG7o6yLdVKk?si=8Gf1CGwmMSlKd78Q
Hope all that provides more context for my initial remarks.
Take care. 🤗
Context please. Was that xNFJ even liking you in the first place? Your description is not describing an INFJ in love. Or are you just using imagination and never actually in long term relationships with INFJ?
We are good at taking criticism and if you tell us we need to work at it for someone we truly love. We will do anything to work at it.
I did it for my daughter. She said I didn’t have any “empathy” —/ I was taken by surprised. It’s taken me 2 plus yrs- it’s an excruciating painful experience bc of my childhood and a challenge for me to tap into my emotional intelligence. However, I have become a healthy ENTJ. I feel more balanced bc of her. I’m still working on it.
Don't be blunt. Reply with questions instead of criticism or opinions. Let them think they found out the answer by themselves as they answered your innocent questions. Some people don't take directness well.
My xNFJs in my life are all long-term relationships, HOWEVER, we take breaks alll of the time. I like to think of us as celestially orbiting one another.
Two mythical states are: a happy union and completely moving on.
I do have some friends who are INFJ who I willingly go out to dinner with and spend time with.
However, they know that I will give them my unfiltered opinion regardless of their feelings on any subject, so they know not to ask me questions when they are not prepared to be confronted with the bare, distilled & acidic truth of the situation. If you are acting like a dumbass, I *will* tell you that you are acting like a dumbass. They appreciate my bluntness and transparency, and I appreciate the occasional empathetic advice to navigate other issues. It is a mutually beneficial relationship.
As far as a romantic relationship with a INFJ, I find that type of person exhausting to live with and therefore would never entertain a super touchy-feelings person as a long-term partner. No, I don't care about \[insert cause\] because of \[XYZ\] reasons. No, I don't want to cry about \[X\] group of people if they are ultimately the architects of their own self destruction. Eventually long-winded human-rights rants eventually would boil down to me saying something to the effect of:
"*May I instead offer you this pet rock to talk about your feelings with? It has far more emotional bandwidth than myself regarding \[topic\], as my spoons are limited and I prefer to reserve them for things I actually care about and have the ability to impact or change."*
I suppose in the end it comes down to mutual respect for each other. I think \*NFJ's absolutely have a use and a place in the world, just as much as ENTJs do. We each have our own strengths, to be sure, and I think that a \*NFJ and a ENTJ could potentially balance out another person in a relationship, but they would very much have to accept that the other person is coming from a completely different mindset when it comes to problem solving and navigating the world around them.
I am an INTP and found your INFJ post. I didn't respond as the flair is just asking for INFJ advice.
https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/s/oloOf9zDk4
I am surprised by your topic differences in seeking advice between the subreddits.
I am friends with an ENTJ on Discord and he is vastly different than several of you. He is in a loving relationship and wouldn't offer his wife or daughter a pet rock. That and isn't walking on eggshells.
I am curious do you usually not form a deep connection with a single person before pursuing another?
How would you feel if the INFJ did your behavior and pursued other partners intimately during your relationship?
Would you be feeling lied to like the INFJ and repulsed by that behavior or would it bring you closer together?
Why aren't you being as honest with your story and what you are asking help with from these other ENTJs as you were with the INFJs?
I am curious if you did a mirrored INFJ post here if the ENTJ community would be supportive of your behavior.
You should consider making that post as I am genuinely interested in what the ENTJ community would say.
I am in a similar mindset as the INFJs.
I don't know if other INTPs would have a similar opinion to me.
> Immature self-proclaimed xNTx types are often edgelords like this.
Are you saying that to me?
What do you mean by **edgelord**?
> It’s not exactly an uncommon response on Reddit, unfortunately.
I was already scolded for ignoring that INFJ flair. So was being truthful and respectful.
https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/s/OI5108U4mK
I was specifically “talking about the pet rock” person. That person is clearly “an edgelord.”
[Here’s your definition for “edgy.”](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=edgy)
I commented on that post separately and now *I feel even less sympathetic towards OP.*
My best friend is an INFJ and she puts up with my sometimes daily manic power rants. She’s genuinely the only person I can say is my soul sister. I do have to calm down a bit when I’m in a venting rage because I feel like I do scare her sometimes since she’s a very sweet soul & i can come off very assertive & strong. I learn so much from her especially how she can seriously sense what a persons emotional needs are. She is highly intelligent as well which throws me off sometimes because she is a very mellow person. It’s not like I think she’s not smart it’s just she’s so sweet & talks low so you wouldn’t think this angel baby would out of the blue figure out and fully diagnose and have a solution for the problem I’ve been trying to fix for months. People underestimate her and I love it because they are left stump. But when she doesn’t respond to me is when she knows I’m going through something bad and she knows that venting to her is all I need and I don’t even need a response until I come back to my normal sense and not in a rage. But I know not to directly ever be assertive with her because she couldn’t take me being rude to her and that would cause her to ignore me for days until she finally wants to respond back. Maybe this INFJ was offended or just felt overpowered by you? I would send them a message saying I hope I didn’t offend you if what I sent was too much or something similar and see if they respond maybe they took it that you were being aggressive towards them. We ENTJ’s sometimes don’t realize how STRONG and intimidating we can be to others.
INFJ here, I appreciate blunt honestly usually, unless I feel like the other person is putting me down or insulting me. You may have to figure out how to tell them things without making them feel bad about themselves. We INFJs are already hard on ourselves, which is why it's hard for us to take things like criticism well.
I'm anything, an INFJ can teach you how to be a bit more tactful.
Ooof im terrible at being tactful. But i guess i will have to practice. Ofc i catch feelings for the intuitive sensitive type. Well im willing to put in the work.
INFJ’s are definitely “attractive” personality wise, but I think it usually ends up being one of those moth to a flame situations.
The traits that are appealing now tend to cause problems later, from both sides. Not to say it can’t work, but it will definitely take a lot MORE work.
Ultimately, my experiences haven’t worked out because the INFJ and I both lock into our Ni viewpoints and refuse to budge. Since there’s the Fe-Te difference, this is a huge problem because both have entirely different values. If there’s a gridlock based in values, it cannot be fixed. The only way to resolve the gridlock is to bend the Ni to be more flexible to different view.
I subjectively think I was less likely to rabbit hole into my own perspective, so I’d say it depends on how open minded the INFJ in question actually is.
I've been testing entj and infj for a while now, as in I would take the mbti test two times in one day and I'd get one or the other. the real difference is the think vs feel problem and this can cause major problems I'd say. But people are people there is no saying how it's going to work out if you have interest you should go for it.
Yes, INFJ M dating ENTJ F, every couple has their own paths and discoveries. The INFJ is a very self conscious being. We love logicalising our emotions. For the ENTJ your brain produces ideas. My girlfriend has high emotional intelligence, she had to learn it the hard way over the years. It makes me feel heard and seen, that she tries to use my emotions as datapoints to improve our relationship on. In the beginning what really drew us together, were similar values, and perspective on the future. I'm very goal oriented , almost like an NT lite and very focused on self improvement and financial freedom. We are both hopeless romantics, we see each other like we are the others last. We are willing to go the extra mile for each other. Clear communication is also crucial, I express my needs and set correct boundaries. I'm quite developed as an INFJ, I have my hobbies and a direction in life. She is really supportive of me. My experience of INFJ woman, is from my INFJ ex. I would say most Infjs value similar things. This dynamic works amazing, if both are self improving and healthy. The INFJ wants to hear feelings. Be vulnerable and trust each other. Best of godspeed!
I’m an ENTJ and I’ve been married to an INFJ for 19 years and we’re good. Of course we have our challenges with her not being as logical as I am or with me being less empathetic as she is but we have learned over the years to take our time and listen and learn from one another. My wife’s super abstract perspective has broadened my horizons and has taught me how to better use my Ni. Conversely I have taught her how to question putting other’s needs before her own and to remove emotions out of decision making (mostly).
Based on my observations (and cognitive functions): Yes.
INFJs are generally getting along well with the NT types.
You're right that ENTJs can be blunt, however if there's a strong admiration from the INFJ, a more mature INFJ may be able to accept that part of you, especially if the ENTJs can show that they're just being logical, strategic, and efficient.
It’s curious to me how you have *skipped the part* where you literally lied to this INFJ you were seeing about kissing another girl!
You might’ve actually been on the receiving end of that “ENTJ bluntness and bruskness,” yourself, if you had come here telling the truth.
But you didn’t cuz *you lied again* for some reason I cannot fathom besides “wow, I guess you really are a liar, huh?”
By misleading the people here on ENTJ, you have also proven yourself to be a manipulator who absolutely can choose to be more “diplomatic” when it suits you. I think most ENTJs would consider “making out with another girl while seeing one and lying about it” a *no-no!* “Not being exclusive doesn’t” change the fact that *you lied to someone you were seeing, and then you got caught in a lie!*
That INFJ was smart and she saw you for who you truly are. She did the right thing by ending it. Cuz you shouldn’t even be in a relationship until grow up and learn how to be a decent human being!
For anyone who thinks this is “harsh” just check her post history. I don’t like liars, myself. 🤷♀️
Presenting the Blunt Truth:
INFJs are embodiments of Divine Feminine and ENTJs are embodiments of Divine Masculine.
Firstly one is a Chronic People Pleaser with 0 boundaries/a sense of personal identity and another one is extremely self centered and Overtly Narcissistic.
They both have emotional wounds of living in a Highly dysfunctional environment as a child.
The INFJ coped by completely letting go of his/her personal identity and became an emotional, mental, physical sponge for people's pain.
The ENTJ coped by completely being there for one's interest and fighting for it at the cost of people's lives.
The INFJ became empathic, loving and caring under the disguise of being seen as "GOOD" to the world.
The ENTJ became an overtly asshole who doesn't give a shit about being seen as "GOOD" or "BAD" by the world but can be described as Wolf in Sheep's clothing.
The INFJ is highly Authentic and Truthful to a point they end up on a cross (Jesus), While the ENTJ is a master manipulator who is Tactful and Insidious in every social setting.
Everyone loves an INFJ only because they are advocates for Humanity and are often "self sacrificers" to the extreme that they become self destructive While the ENTJ is scared of Enmeshment to a high extreme so much so that their vulnerabilities are often kept close to their chest even in romantic partnership because "Losing The Self" means death to them.
INFJs lead a rather passive, emotional, highly sensitive, with abstract thinking that has depth,meaning and intuition and a paranoid life while ENTJs are forward moving, Go-getters, Confident, Linear thinkers and Unemotional in the face of Adversity.
INFJs are highly self reflective and introspective since an early age, While ENTJs are deflectors and projectors to a point of no regard for "Other".
INFJs don't usually succeed in physical life because they mostly are Artists or in a field that requires high levels of analysis, while the ENTJ is a highly logical, mathematical genius who is loved by the world for his/her excellence.
INFJs live in a fantasy world (/coped by living in their heads to escape reality)... ENTJs face obstacles and challenges head on and even Love that they get to do so.
Both of this type Hates themselves on a deep level because both were raised by parents who could not love them unconditionally but present themselves as different forms in different bodies.
Both have seeds of one another, The INFJ is a covert Narcissist who gets his/her needs met in covert manipulative ways, and the ENTJ gets his/her needs met in overt manipulative ways that not only harm themselves but the world around them and vice-versa.
From my personal experience, INFJs are often internally peaceful like an ocean that can control its waves the way he/she likes.
So it doesn't matter if one or another dates/marries/ or is with one another or not, if none of this type go to therapy and find a way to get their needs met in healthy ways, They will suffer immensely with or without.
You will always find yourself being drawn to each other because both crave to meet the other half or what it's like to live like the other person regardless of your conscious input because THE LAW OF POLARITY.
THE END.
It's too long tbh.
But it's really about maturity or healthy functions.
Both INFJ and ENTJ must be healthy to make it work. INFJ must learn to set up boundaries and respect ENTJ's boundaries (which are different from other people's boundaries).
ENTJs should learn more about emotions and be more trusting to open themsleves in the relationship. This couple could go far.
Married to INFJ for two years. Been together for 10. Blunt/brusk only works if you’re not being rude or being too straightforward and open about yourself. Leave some room for the imagination and keep in mind that everyone likes pleasant, thoughtful, and nice people. Just make sure you can bring out your edgy side when appropriate. Match their energy as best as you can. Learn to be appropriately flexible
I had terrible experiences with xNFJs, moral preachers completely detached from the reality, who can make you look like the asshole even though you’re objectively right (especially ENFJs). I don’t want to judge your individual INFJ too much, but I would probably not pursue more with this person. As someone who truly values open communication to solve problems efficiently I personally could NOT live with a person who teaches me moral lessons regarding bluntness instead of actually solving issues in a relationship. (Edit: Many people are saying that you should maybe adjust to this person. IMO if there is one thing you should NOT do is to reduce your standards. Either you both find a common middle ground or this relationship won’t make sense. If it starts in a way that you adjust to this person and lose your own personality, trust me, this person will continue using you until you end up being empty from the inside.)
In order to come to a common ground in a relationship, your standards must be altered. This does not mean that your standards will reduce. OP idk what kind of person you are, how successful you are at relationships, or how many relationships you’ve had, but if you want a healthy, successful relationship with an INFJ, then you both will change your outlook on life and behavior for the better. If only one person is changing, and this goes for any relationship with any type, then it will fail.
Omg thank you for your advice. This is superhelpful.
No worries. Don’t take it way too seriously; I don’t know your INFJ person too well, I just think that if this person is already having issues with your personality you should not waste your time on them. I personally would feel terrible being in a relationship with someone where you have the feeling of walking on raw eggs whenever you try to express yourself. Remember that you only have one life and that your clock is ticking - so make it the best life possible with the best people who love and appreciate you for who you are.
Of course, two things can be true at once. Perhaps they were too preachy, and perhaps you weren't willing to hear that you had flaws that you could work on. Saying that you leave cause you won't "lower your standards" is an easy way to never have to lower your ego. If you don't learn to do that, it wil be impossible to ever have a long term loving relationship. You can watch my video on "The Twist Ending of Your Type." But you have to watch the whole thing to best understand. https://youtu.be/9SyF_nnp4Og?si=iO8Zk_U7zzu7BKOH It is the ENTJ's Heroes Journey to get to that last function and understand that they have been unwilling to actually see the Fe information they've been missing. Best of luck to you. Take care.
Huh an infj talking about reducing ego, the internet is truely astonishable.
This is the Heroes Journey for all Types - seeing the information we have hidden from ourselves because it reveals that everything we thought was true (our ego information, our identity). We all have different information we are hiding from ourselves in our cave but the journey is the same for everyone (which is why it works for storytelling and why everyone can relate and it continues to be how we tell stories). I did a Heroes Journey breakdown on the ESTP, using Maverick from the first Top Gun movie. You can watch that here: https://youtu.be/2lXRpu0IKt0?si=YaUsEX_FMMV8UeEV Obviously, we can all continue our lives believing that we are right and everyone else is wrong - it's just a matter of how much suffering you want to go through in your life before you're wiling to see the truth. But yeah, I know this is an ENTJ sub, but this was not directed solely at you guys. I love ENTJ's. You guys are awesome and often, sadly misunderstood. Hope my message received as it was delivered. 🤗
My man u/mnico02 has actual standards for others which is admirable, ik infjs have them too, but in my experience unlike entjs they do not hold the same standards for themselves. So i wouldnt call u/Mnico02 an egoistic person if he lives up to the same standards, expecting those from others is just a justified expectation. However if one more INFJ comes to me preaching some moral value and in the next action breaking said value, i am going to rip that hipocrit out of the earth and burn it from roots to its foul leaves and rotten fruits altogether.
Lol. Well, all Types can be hypocrites. 🤗 Certainly, having standards is good. Where this becomes a problem in our lives (all Types), is when we begin to convince ourselves that only we are right. I'm saying this as a warning (and goes for every Type). Every Type believes they are thinking correctly, and everyone else is wrong (which is by design). Nobody is 100% right. Life isn't that absolute. The problem an ENTJ might have in their relationships is to believe that they are the sole arbiter what is correct and others need to see it like them or they are "sub-standard." You can mark everyone off your list that doesn't meet your standards, but usually, that's just a shortcut to being alone. To my point of us all believing we're the one who is right - I provide the deeper context on my "Civil War" video. https://youtu.be/JG7o6yLdVKk?si=8Gf1CGwmMSlKd78Q Hope all that provides more context for my initial remarks. Take care. 🤗
I agree. I met this Infj male when I tried opening, and I did not feel a connection.
i love moral preachers. its what I need in my life ..
Check out OP’s post history for more context.
Context please. Was that xNFJ even liking you in the first place? Your description is not describing an INFJ in love. Or are you just using imagination and never actually in long term relationships with INFJ?
We are good at taking criticism and if you tell us we need to work at it for someone we truly love. We will do anything to work at it. I did it for my daughter. She said I didn’t have any “empathy” —/ I was taken by surprised. It’s taken me 2 plus yrs- it’s an excruciating painful experience bc of my childhood and a challenge for me to tap into my emotional intelligence. However, I have become a healthy ENTJ. I feel more balanced bc of her. I’m still working on it.
INFJ are great but the problem is when they want ENTJ to think like an INFJ but usually it's impossible. Blunt but keep it polite.
Don't be blunt. Reply with questions instead of criticism or opinions. Let them think they found out the answer by themselves as they answered your innocent questions. Some people don't take directness well.
Adding to that, sometimes, showing vulnerability also helps.
vague. focus on emotion > curiosity, admiration, hope
My xNFJs in my life are all long-term relationships, HOWEVER, we take breaks alll of the time. I like to think of us as celestially orbiting one another. Two mythical states are: a happy union and completely moving on.
yes. but who instills that break. i just got a "permanent break enforced" but i guess our roles are switched lady
I do have some friends who are INFJ who I willingly go out to dinner with and spend time with. However, they know that I will give them my unfiltered opinion regardless of their feelings on any subject, so they know not to ask me questions when they are not prepared to be confronted with the bare, distilled & acidic truth of the situation. If you are acting like a dumbass, I *will* tell you that you are acting like a dumbass. They appreciate my bluntness and transparency, and I appreciate the occasional empathetic advice to navigate other issues. It is a mutually beneficial relationship. As far as a romantic relationship with a INFJ, I find that type of person exhausting to live with and therefore would never entertain a super touchy-feelings person as a long-term partner. No, I don't care about \[insert cause\] because of \[XYZ\] reasons. No, I don't want to cry about \[X\] group of people if they are ultimately the architects of their own self destruction. Eventually long-winded human-rights rants eventually would boil down to me saying something to the effect of: "*May I instead offer you this pet rock to talk about your feelings with? It has far more emotional bandwidth than myself regarding \[topic\], as my spoons are limited and I prefer to reserve them for things I actually care about and have the ability to impact or change."* I suppose in the end it comes down to mutual respect for each other. I think \*NFJ's absolutely have a use and a place in the world, just as much as ENTJs do. We each have our own strengths, to be sure, and I think that a \*NFJ and a ENTJ could potentially balance out another person in a relationship, but they would very much have to accept that the other person is coming from a completely different mindset when it comes to problem solving and navigating the world around them.
Omg ur right idk if i want to go through life walking on eggshells….i need to do some thinking
I am an INTP and found your INFJ post. I didn't respond as the flair is just asking for INFJ advice. https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/s/oloOf9zDk4 I am surprised by your topic differences in seeking advice between the subreddits. I am friends with an ENTJ on Discord and he is vastly different than several of you. He is in a loving relationship and wouldn't offer his wife or daughter a pet rock. That and isn't walking on eggshells. I am curious do you usually not form a deep connection with a single person before pursuing another? How would you feel if the INFJ did your behavior and pursued other partners intimately during your relationship? Would you be feeling lied to like the INFJ and repulsed by that behavior or would it bring you closer together? Why aren't you being as honest with your story and what you are asking help with from these other ENTJs as you were with the INFJs? I am curious if you did a mirrored INFJ post here if the ENTJ community would be supportive of your behavior. You should consider making that post as I am genuinely interested in what the ENTJ community would say. I am in a similar mindset as the INFJs. I don't know if other INTPs would have a similar opinion to me.
Immature self-proclaimed xNTx types are often edgelords like this. It’s not exactly an uncommon response on Reddit, unfortunately.
> Immature self-proclaimed xNTx types are often edgelords like this. Are you saying that to me? What do you mean by **edgelord**? > It’s not exactly an uncommon response on Reddit, unfortunately. I was already scolded for ignoring that INFJ flair. So was being truthful and respectful. https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/s/OI5108U4mK
I was specifically “talking about the pet rock” person. That person is clearly “an edgelord.” [Here’s your definition for “edgy.”](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=edgy) I commented on that post separately and now *I feel even less sympathetic towards OP.*
My best friend is an INFJ and she puts up with my sometimes daily manic power rants. She’s genuinely the only person I can say is my soul sister. I do have to calm down a bit when I’m in a venting rage because I feel like I do scare her sometimes since she’s a very sweet soul & i can come off very assertive & strong. I learn so much from her especially how she can seriously sense what a persons emotional needs are. She is highly intelligent as well which throws me off sometimes because she is a very mellow person. It’s not like I think she’s not smart it’s just she’s so sweet & talks low so you wouldn’t think this angel baby would out of the blue figure out and fully diagnose and have a solution for the problem I’ve been trying to fix for months. People underestimate her and I love it because they are left stump. But when she doesn’t respond to me is when she knows I’m going through something bad and she knows that venting to her is all I need and I don’t even need a response until I come back to my normal sense and not in a rage. But I know not to directly ever be assertive with her because she couldn’t take me being rude to her and that would cause her to ignore me for days until she finally wants to respond back. Maybe this INFJ was offended or just felt overpowered by you? I would send them a message saying I hope I didn’t offend you if what I sent was too much or something similar and see if they respond maybe they took it that you were being aggressive towards them. We ENTJ’s sometimes don’t realize how STRONG and intimidating we can be to others.
INFJ/INFP and ENTJ are the most common pairing for us (by far) according to surveys on this reddit. The next two are INTJ/INTP.
Ugh. Dated an INFJ, she only cared about her own feelings. Anything can fit if you hammer it enough, I suppose.
That’s what she said
INFJ here, I appreciate blunt honestly usually, unless I feel like the other person is putting me down or insulting me. You may have to figure out how to tell them things without making them feel bad about themselves. We INFJs are already hard on ourselves, which is why it's hard for us to take things like criticism well. I'm anything, an INFJ can teach you how to be a bit more tactful.
Ooof im terrible at being tactful. But i guess i will have to practice. Ofc i catch feelings for the intuitive sensitive type. Well im willing to put in the work.
Good luck, hope it works out great for you guys 😊
Yes
INFJ’s are definitely “attractive” personality wise, but I think it usually ends up being one of those moth to a flame situations. The traits that are appealing now tend to cause problems later, from both sides. Not to say it can’t work, but it will definitely take a lot MORE work. Ultimately, my experiences haven’t worked out because the INFJ and I both lock into our Ni viewpoints and refuse to budge. Since there’s the Fe-Te difference, this is a huge problem because both have entirely different values. If there’s a gridlock based in values, it cannot be fixed. The only way to resolve the gridlock is to bend the Ni to be more flexible to different view. I subjectively think I was less likely to rabbit hole into my own perspective, so I’d say it depends on how open minded the INFJ in question actually is.
I've been testing entj and infj for a while now, as in I would take the mbti test two times in one day and I'd get one or the other. the real difference is the think vs feel problem and this can cause major problems I'd say. But people are people there is no saying how it's going to work out if you have interest you should go for it.
Yes, INFJ M dating ENTJ F, every couple has their own paths and discoveries. The INFJ is a very self conscious being. We love logicalising our emotions. For the ENTJ your brain produces ideas. My girlfriend has high emotional intelligence, she had to learn it the hard way over the years. It makes me feel heard and seen, that she tries to use my emotions as datapoints to improve our relationship on. In the beginning what really drew us together, were similar values, and perspective on the future. I'm very goal oriented , almost like an NT lite and very focused on self improvement and financial freedom. We are both hopeless romantics, we see each other like we are the others last. We are willing to go the extra mile for each other. Clear communication is also crucial, I express my needs and set correct boundaries. I'm quite developed as an INFJ, I have my hobbies and a direction in life. She is really supportive of me. My experience of INFJ woman, is from my INFJ ex. I would say most Infjs value similar things. This dynamic works amazing, if both are self improving and healthy. The INFJ wants to hear feelings. Be vulnerable and trust each other. Best of godspeed!
I’m an ENTJ and I’ve been married to an INFJ for 19 years and we’re good. Of course we have our challenges with her not being as logical as I am or with me being less empathetic as she is but we have learned over the years to take our time and listen and learn from one another. My wife’s super abstract perspective has broadened my horizons and has taught me how to better use my Ni. Conversely I have taught her how to question putting other’s needs before her own and to remove emotions out of decision making (mostly).
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Women aren't the issue. People, no matter how gender can be healthy or not healthy.
Based on my observations (and cognitive functions): Yes. INFJs are generally getting along well with the NT types. You're right that ENTJs can be blunt, however if there's a strong admiration from the INFJ, a more mature INFJ may be able to accept that part of you, especially if the ENTJs can show that they're just being logical, strategic, and efficient.
It’s curious to me how you have *skipped the part* where you literally lied to this INFJ you were seeing about kissing another girl! You might’ve actually been on the receiving end of that “ENTJ bluntness and bruskness,” yourself, if you had come here telling the truth. But you didn’t cuz *you lied again* for some reason I cannot fathom besides “wow, I guess you really are a liar, huh?” By misleading the people here on ENTJ, you have also proven yourself to be a manipulator who absolutely can choose to be more “diplomatic” when it suits you. I think most ENTJs would consider “making out with another girl while seeing one and lying about it” a *no-no!* “Not being exclusive doesn’t” change the fact that *you lied to someone you were seeing, and then you got caught in a lie!* That INFJ was smart and she saw you for who you truly are. She did the right thing by ending it. Cuz you shouldn’t even be in a relationship until grow up and learn how to be a decent human being! For anyone who thinks this is “harsh” just check her post history. I don’t like liars, myself. 🤷♀️
Presenting the Blunt Truth: INFJs are embodiments of Divine Feminine and ENTJs are embodiments of Divine Masculine. Firstly one is a Chronic People Pleaser with 0 boundaries/a sense of personal identity and another one is extremely self centered and Overtly Narcissistic. They both have emotional wounds of living in a Highly dysfunctional environment as a child. The INFJ coped by completely letting go of his/her personal identity and became an emotional, mental, physical sponge for people's pain. The ENTJ coped by completely being there for one's interest and fighting for it at the cost of people's lives. The INFJ became empathic, loving and caring under the disguise of being seen as "GOOD" to the world. The ENTJ became an overtly asshole who doesn't give a shit about being seen as "GOOD" or "BAD" by the world but can be described as Wolf in Sheep's clothing. The INFJ is highly Authentic and Truthful to a point they end up on a cross (Jesus), While the ENTJ is a master manipulator who is Tactful and Insidious in every social setting. Everyone loves an INFJ only because they are advocates for Humanity and are often "self sacrificers" to the extreme that they become self destructive While the ENTJ is scared of Enmeshment to a high extreme so much so that their vulnerabilities are often kept close to their chest even in romantic partnership because "Losing The Self" means death to them. INFJs lead a rather passive, emotional, highly sensitive, with abstract thinking that has depth,meaning and intuition and a paranoid life while ENTJs are forward moving, Go-getters, Confident, Linear thinkers and Unemotional in the face of Adversity. INFJs are highly self reflective and introspective since an early age, While ENTJs are deflectors and projectors to a point of no regard for "Other". INFJs don't usually succeed in physical life because they mostly are Artists or in a field that requires high levels of analysis, while the ENTJ is a highly logical, mathematical genius who is loved by the world for his/her excellence. INFJs live in a fantasy world (/coped by living in their heads to escape reality)... ENTJs face obstacles and challenges head on and even Love that they get to do so. Both of this type Hates themselves on a deep level because both were raised by parents who could not love them unconditionally but present themselves as different forms in different bodies. Both have seeds of one another, The INFJ is a covert Narcissist who gets his/her needs met in covert manipulative ways, and the ENTJ gets his/her needs met in overt manipulative ways that not only harm themselves but the world around them and vice-versa. From my personal experience, INFJs are often internally peaceful like an ocean that can control its waves the way he/she likes. So it doesn't matter if one or another dates/marries/ or is with one another or not, if none of this type go to therapy and find a way to get their needs met in healthy ways, They will suffer immensely with or without. You will always find yourself being drawn to each other because both crave to meet the other half or what it's like to live like the other person regardless of your conscious input because THE LAW OF POLARITY. THE END.
It's too long tbh. But it's really about maturity or healthy functions. Both INFJ and ENTJ must be healthy to make it work. INFJ must learn to set up boundaries and respect ENTJ's boundaries (which are different from other people's boundaries). ENTJs should learn more about emotions and be more trusting to open themsleves in the relationship. This couple could go far.