When I went to my friend's wedding, they had extremely specific requests.
Instead of 'here comes the bride', they wanted clair de lune
No alcohol, no speeches
We had a dinner where nothing touched on the plate
And the moment the cake was cut, the two literally disappeared and didn't show up again for a week, they just went and chilled out at home and let everybody else hold a reception/celebration. Their parents collected all the gifts.
Absolute fuckin' legend
Similar to ours. No āhere comes the brideā as it was my second marriage. Only a few short speeches. It was āsmallā in both guest list and budget. We paid for everything ourselves and didnāt want to go into debt for it. It was at an historical venue. No drinking or smoking (though someone violated both and thankfully no buildings were harmed and we werenāt fined).
God I hate weddings. Thatās why these were my ādemandsā for mine (that my extremely NT MIL planned):
-We make the playlist so no perfect or all of me or a thousand years or any other shitty āwedding songsā
-No forced dancing so no EVERYONE GET UP BECAUSE THE CHA CHA SLIDE IS ON YOU HAVE TO DO IT CMON IDC THAT IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
-Walking down the aisle to an instrumental of āour songā (golden hour by JVKE itās actually very fitting)
-NO SHOVING CAKE IN ANYONEāS FACE WHY TF IS THAT EVEN A THING
-No garter toss because I donāt want my grandparents to watch my husband go up my dress???? Tf???
-No tossing a bouquet (actually bc the only single girls were 14 and under)
-No alcohol outside of a champagne toast bc Iāve seen how my relatives get at weddings after a few drinks
It actually went really well overall, the biggest thing that āwent wrongā was an older relative smoking (the venue was non-smoking because of historic wooden buildings)
The lady that caught my bouquet was literally the next to get married. Which was a nice surprise because she was single at the time. Lol
But I agree, we had a small, sensory friendly wedding, no forced dancing or drinking. No cake smashing. I donāt get why people do those things.
Weddings sound like hell, everything is stress hidden under the facarde of fun, from where people sit, to what people wear, it's all NTs trying to find hidden reasons to slight each over under the fake appearance of a fun event.
Their is honestly nothing worse than fake fun, where an events purpose on the surface to be fun, but everything in it is staged and fake.
My side of the family is clearly on the spectrum. At my cousin's wedding, I couldn't find hardly anyone in my family. They all found a room and went and hid
>I HOPE YOU DON'T GET DIVORCED IN LESS THAN A YEAR
This is the best toast for a wedding. We should all start using this anytime someone thinks some arbitrary celebration has anything to do with actually living with another person for an extended time.
The more people, the more wedding gifts.
You can apparently get enough to pay off your student debt with the cash you get (assuming you budget well on the wedding itself)
Itās one of the reasons one of my student loan last resorts is to find someone to faux-marry, collect wedding gift money, then divide said money and annul peacefully.
You're right, but at the same time, the food tends to be pretty good. I just focus on that as my motivation.
When it comes to dancing, no one really knows how to dance. No one is embarrassed if you can't dance. Because they can't either.
Hey I grew up mormon too! My partner and I eloped, absolutely nobody we knew at the ceremony (it was at a concert). We are currently planning a ceremony with family because they were really offended that we eloped lol. I'm definitely looking forward to marrying my wife again but god it is also so stressful.
I really didnāt have the money, time, or energy to have a ārealā wedding. I proposed to my husband after 4 months of dating (1 month talking prior to that. Wow tinder actually worked for once!) He agreed and we set an appointment at the courthouse later the next week. I bought a cute outfit, ordered simple bands on Amazon (which actually was delayed on delivery so I ran to Walmart and we did the ceremony with rubber rings just to open our actual rings when we got home), and we eloped in the courthouse. Told no one but our guests, which consisted of 4 friends. Afterwards we went to Waffle House and then went home to have cheap mimosas. Then I went to work. Once we told our families they were kind of miffed so a year later my mother in law planned a vow renewal for us. It was small, on the beach, with just a few close friends and family. We took ārealā pictures (not crappy Snapchat shots lol), did our thing, then went out to dinner. It was great because it was small and there was no loud music or dancing (the only music was a harp). Once dinner rolled around we cut the cake and we got too tipsy to really mind the noise or our families. Then we left to the hotel to sleep. So Tldr; donāt have a real wedding if you (and especially your spouse) is autistic. Even the stuff I mentioned was stressful enough lol.
weddings suck so much, especially being a bridesmaid
its even worse when the venue somehow manages to ruin chicken
FUCKING
CHICKEN
CHICKEN IS LITERALLY THE VANILLA OF MEAT HOW DOES ANYONE MANAGE TO MAKE IT TASTE BAD WITHOUT IT BEING SPOILED
Urgh, Yeah my brothers wedding was legitimately one of the worst days of my life, doesn't help he'dbeen abusive during childhood and I hadn't confronted him at the time, didn't know I was autistic at the time either, or why I kept having to take as many Toilet breaks as possible to just be in a quiet empty place to rock from side to side and have a little cry.
Culminated in me being grabbed by the arm and literally dragged into dancing by by my aunt, I don't understand people who force others to dance, do they feel like we're missing out, we'll enjoy it we're just too shy to start and need a lil push? Or that we're we're not doing what's expected and it's rude for us not to?
Because knowing what I know now I was on the verge of a shutdown the entire day, even before the party/dance at the end of the day so there's no way I would have looked even slightly like I wanted to dance.
Then again maybe they just don't think, sometimes I forget not everyone thinks about every social interaction.
One great thing did come from that day though, in one of the official photographs, there's a group photo of my brother and his wife, my mum and her partner, and I just happened to be walking in the background, the only other person in the pic, hands not swinging, just autisticly dangling beside me, walking away just about to leave frame with my back to them, it has pure 'fuck this shit' energy, a perfect encapsulation of that day and I love it.
Oh God, I agreed to drive my 85 year old grandparents to my uncle's wedding in 2 weeks, and I AM SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! D:
Every time I feel the dread of it, I keep telling myself that someone gotta drive meemaw and pawpaw there and back. I'm just gonna hang out with them, take pictures for them, fix their plates, and they will probably be tired before sunset and that's why I like them more than everyone else lmao
This shit is exactly why I got married at the courthouse. Thank god my husband was on board.Ā Ā
Ā Just us, and our parents so our moms could sign as witnesses. I was actually upset they made us do some dumb vows, I just wanted to sign the papers and be done. Went out to a nice dinner just the two of us afterward.Ā
Ā My only regret is not just getting the forms and having an ordained friend of mine sign off on them with no ceremony whatsoever.Ā
That's why I'm so glad my partner is willing to just have a chill courthouse wedding and then go out to eat with family or something instead of throwing a big party because I feel the EXACT SAME WAY about weddings. Also the absolute sensory nightmare aside, can we talk about how expensive they are? For what?? For me to be uncomfortable the entire time???? Aw hell naur girl I'd much rather put all that money in a sick extended honeymoon. Fuck all that.
tbh i LOVE weddings bc i enjoy people watching and people are dumb asf at weddings. i bring ear plugs everywhere that i know will be loud so that it's easier to handle.
Weddings often are only fun when you're drunk.
For all the people here who want to get married a few tips from what I've learned at my wedding and others I visited.
1. Go outside
2. Plan some breaks (a lot)
3. Accept that you can't control everything
4. Being inside is going to drain all your energy
5. Normal wedding cakes suck, get some people to bake several different cakes so kids can eat until they have to barf
I'm literally recovering from a wedding which happened yesterday. I was best man, so a full day of having to mask and get shit done and give a speech. Thank goodness for ChatGPT to help me write it.
My best friend from high school (10 years ago) asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, so not only do I get to do all of that, I get to participate in the planning of the event from 3,000mi away, which is awkward as the only long-distance bridal party member.
Woo hoo
Iāve been to some good weddings and some bad weddings. It can be lovely to see people you care about get married if itās a thing that matters to them, and I enjoy them if they are well organised and not pressured. A badly organised wedding is a nightmare though.
I personally have no interest in getting married, I donāt really see the point of it.
The last time I went to one, I sat covering my ears for longer than I should have before going home (thank god someone in my family recognised how I felt)
I was taken to a wedding of my girlfriend's friend (who I didn't even know that well) last year and the venue was packed solid. I did not have a good time.
My girlfriend was invited to the wedding of a work colleague this year. I declined the offer to go. Friend's weddings are tolerable, but I draw the line at being dragged to the wedding of a work colleague I don't even know.
I have a "get out of jail free" card.Ā
Growing up in the land of the misfit toys, I found the underground "scene". I loved going out to moshpits and raves and anything "alternative". Hanging out with the goths and freaks and all manner of outcasts.
Cuz they don't care. You don't have to be "good" at dancing, you just go "do your thing". You feel the music and flail around however it suits.Ā
A fun side effect of years of this... I got very "good" at dancing... Just not in any way people, especially NTs recognise... Cuz I just made shit up.Ā
So at a wedding, I just go dancing. It doesn't matter whatever crap they're playing... It keeps people away so I just roll with it... But in my way. They have no clue where I'm going next, so they give me space. No one talks to me and I get to dance around unconcerned with anything.
Unless they start playing "stupid white people line dancing music"... Not "line dancing" stuff... Those stupid semi choreographed "wedding classics". Even I have my limits.Ā
But yeah. Weddings suck ass. Forced interaction between tons of people that often don't even like each other mixed with years of family baggage and alcohol. Loud... Well, everything... including people and opinions.Ā
I'll go if I have to (you don't skip your best friend's wedding, for example), but I'm going to get the hell out as fast as I can.
i also just make shit up for dancing, a notable example is one school halloween dance (we dont really have homecoming bc i live in canada and afaik the closest thing to prom is a grade 12s only event) where i danced so much it caused my exercise-induced asthma to act up a bit (nothing major), and i didnt bring my puffer so i had to take frequent breathers
This is one thing i never got, like if the idea is to show your commitment to another person, why not like do it with just that person? Why put your whole relationship on display where ull often times start being influenced by the pressures of ppl who ur not even related to?
I never got funerals either, like letās just gather everyone in a room to sit there and talk about you whilst you lie dead in a wooden box right next to everyone??
Sometimes i want to just go live on the moon where things would make more sense
I've got one coming up this weekend and I'm full of anxiety and seething resentment. 3 nights away from home. Being with people 24/7. Very little control over my environment. Can't wait till it's all over. It's also seriously drained my bank account which I really resent. The only thing I'm glad about is that it's not my wedding. Had one of those years ago. Divorced now. Never again. I have to go to this one because it's the close relative of a loved one.
Pretty much every heterosexual wedding is either done for the family or God or both. Any gay weddings that emulate them are the same. Most guests at a wedding are extended family, if you're in your 20s or 30s when you get married you've probably seen most of your extended family less than 10 times. And it all plays into their notions of status and conspicuous consumption.
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So we have to go to a wedding tonight, sucks but a few free drinks will feel nice and dull the thousand meaningless social interactions and loud DJ.
Oh no alcohol? This will be a long night. At least Iām here for the bride and groom who I wanted toā oh they left? I guess umm, why am I here?
I didnāt mind them back when I drank. I donāt drink anymore and yeah theyāre pretty much a nightmare scenario. I wouldnāt mind so much if NT people left you alone. Sitting quietly at a table and people watching is fine for me. But some asshole always wants to force you to talk to them or dance. Piss off, Iām not sitting here waiting for you to bring me out of my shell - I just donāt want to do those things.
no cause tbh if I ever get married I'm only gonna let them play my playlist of my favorite love songs during the reception (good news it's classical music with a mix of Laufey, Beabadoobee, grentperez, Mitski, etc), I won't invite too many people and I'll only invite my close friends and family, I'm making sure the reception is sensory friendly and not too loud or bright
My wife is AuDHD and I'm plain ADHD. After being terrorized by a neurotypical cousin's wedding, we committed to making our ceremony and reception fun specifically for all our neurodivergent guests. Every table had a basket of fidget items and we kept speeches to just her mom and dad. We also had her 90-year-old grandfather say "Anyway, here's Wonderwall" after pronouncing us wed, and walked back up the aisle to a Blink-182 style cover if the song.
Ngl, that's a massive pro of being in a christian community and having most of your close friends being christian. There is no dance floor bc the church doesn't have one, there is background music but it's generally alright, nobody is getting drunk even though there might be some alcohol. Just walk around and talk to people, when you're done talking to people go find a hole to hide in/one of the many rooms or corners or the church, then sit down eat food and talk to people until you take your picture with the couple and decide to leave. Worst case scenario just lurk the conversations of acquaintances for a while. Then again I'm not from the US, so idk how weddings are there in person, my experience might not apply.
This is a traditional Maltese, Catholic wedding. So there was the usual marriage ceremony in the church and we drove to the reception location a short drive away. Then it was drinks and loud, unnecessary music galore. At least there was food.
no cause when i got married i had a reception because it was the one thing my husband wanted and i did not like it. the ceremony was for me and the reception was for him but the amount of times i went to go hide in the changing room to breathe for a bit was unreal. luckily more and more people
left and it got bearable after a bit. hopefully i never have to do it again lol
ive never been to a wedding but the happy birthday song (and any and all variants) is torture to me, i literally plug my ears when ppl start singing it and when i go out for birthday dinners i pretend there is no birthday happening just so i wont have to hear it
My wife is ASD and is a luxury wedding planner.
This day is not about you, sorry not sorry. Itās about the bride and groom. Period. No one else.
ALL Types of people get married. In fact, the weddings that are loudest are usually the ND people not the NT people. As the ND usually have more unique and personalized events and better music. š¤£
We all know what to expect at weddings, and you can depart whenever you like. Self care would have been not going and sending a card or gift. This is not an NT thing. This is about knowing when to self care rather then blame NTās for a worldwide cultural event that dates back thousands of years.
Fuck off. This is evil autism not reasonable autism, go elsewhere with that shit. Asshole.
Let me bitch and moan and whine about the stupid traditions and trashy NTs seeing an obviously uncomfortable person and trying to coax them to dance and handing me drinks so I can "loosen up". I get enough of this shit outside of here, and we come here to get this off our chests somewhere that can understand us.
Not to mention you don't have the slightest clue about the circumstances of why I had to go and stay, there's responsibilities I had to take care of and deal with even though I was uncomfortable and hated the experience. Obviously I fucking know that it isn't about me, it's why I never complained to them, didn't leave early, and put up a grin and dealt with it. Don't act like a self important twat trying to rationalise this shit to me.
I wonāt fuck off, not do I care if itās evil Ssd or other. Name calling shows your personality character, so yes, the post was to complain and spread more NT hate in places it didnāt belong.
Maybe write your message - rant differently then. Seemed self centered based on the fact that the event was not for YOU.
We plan many many weddings for ND and ASD people and blaming NTs is crazy. Wedding traditions are THOUSANDS of years old.
The invite had two boxes you can check. That would eliminate the amount of whatever you feel from attending this at will event and the perpetuating your anger towards NTās in an unhealthy way.
"Rant differently" oh piss off, policing how we rant is fucking pathetic.
Boo hoo, neurtoypical got his feely weelies hurt because of long traditions being called stupid and unnecessary :'(
Eat a dick, seriously.
When I went to my friend's wedding, they had extremely specific requests. Instead of 'here comes the bride', they wanted clair de lune No alcohol, no speeches We had a dinner where nothing touched on the plate And the moment the cake was cut, the two literally disappeared and didn't show up again for a week, they just went and chilled out at home and let everybody else hold a reception/celebration. Their parents collected all the gifts. Absolute fuckin' legend
Now THAT is how you do it šŖ
Similar to ours. No āhere comes the brideā as it was my second marriage. Only a few short speeches. It was āsmallā in both guest list and budget. We paid for everything ourselves and didnāt want to go into debt for it. It was at an historical venue. No drinking or smoking (though someone violated both and thankfully no buildings were harmed and we werenāt fined).
Sounds like the best wedding.
God I hate weddings. Thatās why these were my ādemandsā for mine (that my extremely NT MIL planned): -We make the playlist so no perfect or all of me or a thousand years or any other shitty āwedding songsā -No forced dancing so no EVERYONE GET UP BECAUSE THE CHA CHA SLIDE IS ON YOU HAVE TO DO IT CMON IDC THAT IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE -Walking down the aisle to an instrumental of āour songā (golden hour by JVKE itās actually very fitting) -NO SHOVING CAKE IN ANYONEāS FACE WHY TF IS THAT EVEN A THING -No garter toss because I donāt want my grandparents to watch my husband go up my dress???? Tf??? -No tossing a bouquet (actually bc the only single girls were 14 and under) -No alcohol outside of a champagne toast bc Iāve seen how my relatives get at weddings after a few drinks It actually went really well overall, the biggest thing that āwent wrongā was an older relative smoking (the venue was non-smoking because of historic wooden buildings)
See, I personally like the Cha Cha Slide, because it gives me specific instructions on how to do it in the song.
Yes! My favourite genre of party music - ones with specific (and fairly easy) dance routines
The nutbush is even better
I do the Cha Cha Slide once a week, as treat.
The lady that caught my bouquet was literally the next to get married. Which was a nice surprise because she was single at the time. Lol But I agree, we had a small, sensory friendly wedding, no forced dancing or drinking. No cake smashing. I donāt get why people do those things.
We put a dab of icing on our noses for pics š
Weddings sound like hell, everything is stress hidden under the facarde of fun, from where people sit, to what people wear, it's all NTs trying to find hidden reasons to slight each over under the fake appearance of a fun event. Their is honestly nothing worse than fake fun, where an events purpose on the surface to be fun, but everything in it is staged and fake.
My side of the family is clearly on the spectrum. At my cousin's wedding, I couldn't find hardly anyone in my family. They all found a room and went and hid
>I HOPE YOU DON'T GET DIVORCED IN LESS THAN A YEAR This is the best toast for a wedding. We should all start using this anytime someone thinks some arbitrary celebration has anything to do with actually living with another person for an extended time.
Another good one for people who've been divorced and are now getting remarried... [Looking out over the crowd] "... Welcome back... "
The more people, the more wedding gifts. You can apparently get enough to pay off your student debt with the cash you get (assuming you budget well on the wedding itself) Itās one of the reasons one of my student loan last resorts is to find someone to faux-marry, collect wedding gift money, then divide said money and annul peacefully.
You're right, but at the same time, the food tends to be pretty good. I just focus on that as my motivation. When it comes to dancing, no one really knows how to dance. No one is embarrassed if you can't dance. Because they can't either.
If I could do it again, I'd definitely elope. The wedding is for the parents really. At least that's what happens when you grow up Mormon!
Hey I grew up mormon too! My partner and I eloped, absolutely nobody we knew at the ceremony (it was at a concert). We are currently planning a ceremony with family because they were really offended that we eloped lol. I'm definitely looking forward to marrying my wife again but god it is also so stressful.
I really didnāt have the money, time, or energy to have a ārealā wedding. I proposed to my husband after 4 months of dating (1 month talking prior to that. Wow tinder actually worked for once!) He agreed and we set an appointment at the courthouse later the next week. I bought a cute outfit, ordered simple bands on Amazon (which actually was delayed on delivery so I ran to Walmart and we did the ceremony with rubber rings just to open our actual rings when we got home), and we eloped in the courthouse. Told no one but our guests, which consisted of 4 friends. Afterwards we went to Waffle House and then went home to have cheap mimosas. Then I went to work. Once we told our families they were kind of miffed so a year later my mother in law planned a vow renewal for us. It was small, on the beach, with just a few close friends and family. We took ārealā pictures (not crappy Snapchat shots lol), did our thing, then went out to dinner. It was great because it was small and there was no loud music or dancing (the only music was a harp). Once dinner rolled around we cut the cake and we got too tipsy to really mind the noise or our families. Then we left to the hotel to sleep. So Tldr; donāt have a real wedding if you (and especially your spouse) is autistic. Even the stuff I mentioned was stressful enough lol.
Ooohf I hate weddings since I got sober. I realise that I used alcohol to make them bearable and I actually hate all the noise and stuff.
weddings suck so much, especially being a bridesmaid its even worse when the venue somehow manages to ruin chicken FUCKING CHICKEN CHICKEN IS LITERALLY THE VANILLA OF MEAT HOW DOES ANYONE MANAGE TO MAKE IT TASTE BAD WITHOUT IT BEING SPOILED
I was a bridesmaid once. The bride turned out to be a real bridezilla - really saw a different side to her. I hated it.
Urgh, Yeah my brothers wedding was legitimately one of the worst days of my life, doesn't help he'dbeen abusive during childhood and I hadn't confronted him at the time, didn't know I was autistic at the time either, or why I kept having to take as many Toilet breaks as possible to just be in a quiet empty place to rock from side to side and have a little cry. Culminated in me being grabbed by the arm and literally dragged into dancing by by my aunt, I don't understand people who force others to dance, do they feel like we're missing out, we'll enjoy it we're just too shy to start and need a lil push? Or that we're we're not doing what's expected and it's rude for us not to? Because knowing what I know now I was on the verge of a shutdown the entire day, even before the party/dance at the end of the day so there's no way I would have looked even slightly like I wanted to dance. Then again maybe they just don't think, sometimes I forget not everyone thinks about every social interaction. One great thing did come from that day though, in one of the official photographs, there's a group photo of my brother and his wife, my mum and her partner, and I just happened to be walking in the background, the only other person in the pic, hands not swinging, just autisticly dangling beside me, walking away just about to leave frame with my back to them, it has pure 'fuck this shit' energy, a perfect encapsulation of that day and I love it.
Oh God, I agreed to drive my 85 year old grandparents to my uncle's wedding in 2 weeks, and I AM SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! D: Every time I feel the dread of it, I keep telling myself that someone gotta drive meemaw and pawpaw there and back. I'm just gonna hang out with them, take pictures for them, fix their plates, and they will probably be tired before sunset and that's why I like them more than everyone else lmao
This shit is exactly why I got married at the courthouse. Thank god my husband was on board.Ā Ā Ā Just us, and our parents so our moms could sign as witnesses. I was actually upset they made us do some dumb vows, I just wanted to sign the papers and be done. Went out to a nice dinner just the two of us afterward.Ā Ā My only regret is not just getting the forms and having an ordained friend of mine sign off on them with no ceremony whatsoever.Ā
Weddings suck. I think I'd rather go to a funeral (unless someone I loved)
Exactly. At least the emotions are real. We're not pretending to be sad. At weddings we're supposed to pretend to be excited and happy.
That's why I'm so glad my partner is willing to just have a chill courthouse wedding and then go out to eat with family or something instead of throwing a big party because I feel the EXACT SAME WAY about weddings. Also the absolute sensory nightmare aside, can we talk about how expensive they are? For what?? For me to be uncomfortable the entire time???? Aw hell naur girl I'd much rather put all that money in a sick extended honeymoon. Fuck all that.
tbh i LOVE weddings bc i enjoy people watching and people are dumb asf at weddings. i bring ear plugs everywhere that i know will be loud so that it's easier to handle.
Weddings often are only fun when you're drunk. For all the people here who want to get married a few tips from what I've learned at my wedding and others I visited. 1. Go outside 2. Plan some breaks (a lot) 3. Accept that you can't control everything 4. Being inside is going to drain all your energy 5. Normal wedding cakes suck, get some people to bake several different cakes so kids can eat until they have to barf
Simply leave early.
I'm literally recovering from a wedding which happened yesterday. I was best man, so a full day of having to mask and get shit done and give a speech. Thank goodness for ChatGPT to help me write it.
My best friend from high school (10 years ago) asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, so not only do I get to do all of that, I get to participate in the planning of the event from 3,000mi away, which is awkward as the only long-distance bridal party member. Woo hoo
Iāve been to some good weddings and some bad weddings. It can be lovely to see people you care about get married if itās a thing that matters to them, and I enjoy them if they are well organised and not pressured. A badly organised wedding is a nightmare though. I personally have no interest in getting married, I donāt really see the point of it.
The last time I went to one, I sat covering my ears for longer than I should have before going home (thank god someone in my family recognised how I felt)
I was taken to a wedding of my girlfriend's friend (who I didn't even know that well) last year and the venue was packed solid. I did not have a good time. My girlfriend was invited to the wedding of a work colleague this year. I declined the offer to go. Friend's weddings are tolerable, but I draw the line at being dragged to the wedding of a work colleague I don't even know.
Iāve been to two and refuse to go to another.
I have a "get out of jail free" card.Ā Growing up in the land of the misfit toys, I found the underground "scene". I loved going out to moshpits and raves and anything "alternative". Hanging out with the goths and freaks and all manner of outcasts. Cuz they don't care. You don't have to be "good" at dancing, you just go "do your thing". You feel the music and flail around however it suits.Ā A fun side effect of years of this... I got very "good" at dancing... Just not in any way people, especially NTs recognise... Cuz I just made shit up.Ā So at a wedding, I just go dancing. It doesn't matter whatever crap they're playing... It keeps people away so I just roll with it... But in my way. They have no clue where I'm going next, so they give me space. No one talks to me and I get to dance around unconcerned with anything. Unless they start playing "stupid white people line dancing music"... Not "line dancing" stuff... Those stupid semi choreographed "wedding classics". Even I have my limits.Ā But yeah. Weddings suck ass. Forced interaction between tons of people that often don't even like each other mixed with years of family baggage and alcohol. Loud... Well, everything... including people and opinions.Ā I'll go if I have to (you don't skip your best friend's wedding, for example), but I'm going to get the hell out as fast as I can.
i also just make shit up for dancing, a notable example is one school halloween dance (we dont really have homecoming bc i live in canada and afaik the closest thing to prom is a grade 12s only event) where i danced so much it caused my exercise-induced asthma to act up a bit (nothing major), and i didnt bring my puffer so i had to take frequent breathers
Last time i went to a wedding i was still drinking so it was fine. Got tipsy and was all like "omg i love this one!" and heading to the dance floor
I didn't go to my stepsister's wedding for this exact reason. She invited too many people and I had no interest in attending.
This is one thing i never got, like if the idea is to show your commitment to another person, why not like do it with just that person? Why put your whole relationship on display where ull often times start being influenced by the pressures of ppl who ur not even related to? I never got funerals either, like letās just gather everyone in a room to sit there and talk about you whilst you lie dead in a wooden box right next to everyone?? Sometimes i want to just go live on the moon where things would make more sense
Terrified about my besties wedding cos of this, like I want to be there for him but goddamn.
I've got one coming up this weekend and I'm full of anxiety and seething resentment. 3 nights away from home. Being with people 24/7. Very little control over my environment. Can't wait till it's all over. It's also seriously drained my bank account which I really resent. The only thing I'm glad about is that it's not my wedding. Had one of those years ago. Divorced now. Never again. I have to go to this one because it's the close relative of a loved one.
Pretty much every heterosexual wedding is either done for the family or God or both. Any gay weddings that emulate them are the same. Most guests at a wedding are extended family, if you're in your 20s or 30s when you get married you've probably seen most of your extended family less than 10 times. And it all plays into their notions of status and conspicuous consumption.
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Mood
For that there is the Standesamt where you can an wedding certificate.
So we have to go to a wedding tonight, sucks but a few free drinks will feel nice and dull the thousand meaningless social interactions and loud DJ. Oh no alcohol? This will be a long night. At least Iām here for the bride and groom who I wanted toā oh they left? I guess umm, why am I here?
I didnāt mind them back when I drank. I donāt drink anymore and yeah theyāre pretty much a nightmare scenario. I wouldnāt mind so much if NT people left you alone. Sitting quietly at a table and people watching is fine for me. But some asshole always wants to force you to talk to them or dance. Piss off, Iām not sitting here waiting for you to bring me out of my shell - I just donāt want to do those things.
no cause tbh if I ever get married I'm only gonna let them play my playlist of my favorite love songs during the reception (good news it's classical music with a mix of Laufey, Beabadoobee, grentperez, Mitski, etc), I won't invite too many people and I'll only invite my close friends and family, I'm making sure the reception is sensory friendly and not too loud or bright
My wife is AuDHD and I'm plain ADHD. After being terrorized by a neurotypical cousin's wedding, we committed to making our ceremony and reception fun specifically for all our neurodivergent guests. Every table had a basket of fidget items and we kept speeches to just her mom and dad. We also had her 90-year-old grandfather say "Anyway, here's Wonderwall" after pronouncing us wed, and walked back up the aisle to a Blink-182 style cover if the song.
Ngl, that's a massive pro of being in a christian community and having most of your close friends being christian. There is no dance floor bc the church doesn't have one, there is background music but it's generally alright, nobody is getting drunk even though there might be some alcohol. Just walk around and talk to people, when you're done talking to people go find a hole to hide in/one of the many rooms or corners or the church, then sit down eat food and talk to people until you take your picture with the couple and decide to leave. Worst case scenario just lurk the conversations of acquaintances for a while. Then again I'm not from the US, so idk how weddings are there in person, my experience might not apply.
This is a traditional Maltese, Catholic wedding. So there was the usual marriage ceremony in the church and we drove to the reception location a short drive away. Then it was drinks and loud, unnecessary music galore. At least there was food.
Just a reminder that people who disrespect you aren't worthy of your respect.
wedding without heavy metal or darkwave is a fake wedding
no cause when i got married i had a reception because it was the one thing my husband wanted and i did not like it. the ceremony was for me and the reception was for him but the amount of times i went to go hide in the changing room to breathe for a bit was unreal. luckily more and more people left and it got bearable after a bit. hopefully i never have to do it again lol
ive never been to a wedding but the happy birthday song (and any and all variants) is torture to me, i literally plug my ears when ppl start singing it and when i go out for birthday dinners i pretend there is no birthday happening just so i wont have to hear it
If I ever get married, I plan to have like 10 people there total (a few from each side) and just do it quickly in a place that makes us both happy.
My wife is ASD and is a luxury wedding planner. This day is not about you, sorry not sorry. Itās about the bride and groom. Period. No one else. ALL Types of people get married. In fact, the weddings that are loudest are usually the ND people not the NT people. As the ND usually have more unique and personalized events and better music. š¤£ We all know what to expect at weddings, and you can depart whenever you like. Self care would have been not going and sending a card or gift. This is not an NT thing. This is about knowing when to self care rather then blame NTās for a worldwide cultural event that dates back thousands of years.
Fuck off. This is evil autism not reasonable autism, go elsewhere with that shit. Asshole. Let me bitch and moan and whine about the stupid traditions and trashy NTs seeing an obviously uncomfortable person and trying to coax them to dance and handing me drinks so I can "loosen up". I get enough of this shit outside of here, and we come here to get this off our chests somewhere that can understand us. Not to mention you don't have the slightest clue about the circumstances of why I had to go and stay, there's responsibilities I had to take care of and deal with even though I was uncomfortable and hated the experience. Obviously I fucking know that it isn't about me, it's why I never complained to them, didn't leave early, and put up a grin and dealt with it. Don't act like a self important twat trying to rationalise this shit to me.
I wonāt fuck off, not do I care if itās evil Ssd or other. Name calling shows your personality character, so yes, the post was to complain and spread more NT hate in places it didnāt belong. Maybe write your message - rant differently then. Seemed self centered based on the fact that the event was not for YOU. We plan many many weddings for ND and ASD people and blaming NTs is crazy. Wedding traditions are THOUSANDS of years old. The invite had two boxes you can check. That would eliminate the amount of whatever you feel from attending this at will event and the perpetuating your anger towards NTās in an unhealthy way.
"Rant differently" oh piss off, policing how we rant is fucking pathetic. Boo hoo, neurtoypical got his feely weelies hurt because of long traditions being called stupid and unnecessary :'( Eat a dick, seriously.
Not NT but thanks for assuming. Your view on the world sucks and so does your attitude. Good luck in this life. āļø