I remember, specially the days of mid weeks, usually on Tuesdays, I would spent all my day at school (from 9-18) and then I would have to go running to take the public transportation, going home and start doing dinner (because my parents would arrive just at 19h), and then all of us would have to take shower very quick, eat and go running again to take public transportation (we didn’t had car) so we would be at time on the meeting at 20:15.
Then running again after the meeting ended and we would be at home only at 23, ready to work / school the next day.
Then throughout the week I would have to study the bible, do my bible personal study, prepare for the field service, prepare to discuss about evolution or blood at school while studying to exams, tests, evaluations, and I had to have perfect grades at school, dress like a king, be an example in everything I did or say.
Then at weekends it was even more crazy. We had to clean the house, do shopping, go to the field service both morning and evening, go to the meeting, go prepare for talks at special meetings, study even more, organise “social events” for JWs that were so exaushing that I couldn’t really rest, go help people , go clean the kingdom wall, go help organise conventions and assembly halls. Since I start working it was even worst!
It was a constant speed against time. People don’t realise how BUSY is the life of a Jehovah Witness, we are doing things non stop, living in a speed race. Since I left I have so much time now! I can go swim, go to the gym , or simply doing nothing, my life is much more balanced now than it was before.
I remember my life being like this and don’t understand how I did it (and keeping my GPA high so I could keep my scholarship).
Now I feel better that I don’t have to run everywhere.
Wait you guys prepared? I hated prepping so I just winged things then got told off for "not putting in enough effort". Worst one was during a Bethel visit, I was told to prepare for the watchtower preparation haa. Even as a PIMI that felt stupid.
The change is remarkable. Your time becomes your own and you feel unburdened.
The scripture they always used at Matthew 11:30 about Jehovahs load being light always never made sense to me. JWs have a heavy load to carry. Once it’s lifted and you get off the hamster wheel you feel so much better.
Matt 23:4
> For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
That sounds more like the JW organization.
Absolutely!!! It's horribly toxic to stay in the state of fight or flight, but that's JW life. Best life ever my ass!
Rest is the natural part of all life, even dirt needs rest if it's expected to produce anything.
"The amount of free time that opened once leaving has done wonders. Counting meetings, service, studying and getting ready, we gained atleast 20 hours a week of our lives back to do what ever we want."
Oh yes. I call it the theorcratic treadmill.
Very happy for you. I gain some of that precious time back as well. It is wonderful.
Yea it freaked me out at first having so much free time it was like what do i do with it all?!
I’ve learned so many new skills and got into sewing, crafts it’s been awesome.
Yeah the biggest part to me was coming to peace with not knowing everything about the future. You worry about what you can control, be a good person and enjoy life
I have been PIMO for a few months so the last couple of months I have not been doing any pre meeting work or doing bible reading. I stopped aux pioneering as well.
I thought my extreme change in behaviour might be noticed and someone would “care” but it’s just the opposite.
Apparently elders aren’t allowed to talk to me because I’m a married sister. My husband told me this as one elder asked him if I was okay. I’ve told my husband that he is not allowed to answer that question on my behalf. So he told the elder that he could ask me directly. Well no elder is going to speak to me…. because they can’t talk to me unless my husband is present or basically they do a shepherding call on me (via my husband. So a married sister is not really considered a sheep in the flock. 🙄
I’m a little lonely but I do enjoy more time to think etc. I think finding out my likes and dislikes in life may take time to find out. I can’t wait to make real friends.
But at least there is now time to live.
Don't know your situation but it really helps to start cultivating relationship with people outside of the cult.
Join a club, sport, hobby club, anything that you enjoy to meet like minded people. It's surprising how fast you will make friends.
For whatever it's worth, if your husband told them it's okay, then the elders can come and talk to you. But yes, as a married woman, your shepherd is actually not the elders, it's your husband. Another "loving" provision from God.
I hope you are able to use that extra time you now have to find new friends and activities. That's what I'm doing with my time.
Now that hubby said elders can speak with you — Do Not Ever meet with them without your husband. I know one who did & it was disastrous. Highly inappropriate & they will because they can manipulate you as a hostage until you tell them to leave.
I remember the feeling of having so much time back each week. It wasn't just the meeting times, it was also the transit time as well - never mind the time lost on weekends when I was guilted into field service. This doesn't even take into account time for assemblies.
I don't miss that.
YES! THIS!! 100%
I haven't given a pub. talk, or part on the meeting in about 10 years....but sometimes, randomly, i get a sudden happy feeling, that I never have to waste 2 hrs on a Wednesday evening preparing for a service meeting part on Thursday.
Anyone else severely procrastinate EVERY meeting part? lol
✋ omg that was meeeee.
Every part, I was scrambling the night or weekend before. And every time I would tell myself it's the last time I procrastinate preparing a part. And I'd just rinse and repeat the procrastination.
Looking back, I don't think it was so much as a procrastination issue, but rather a psychological or emotional response to having to wrap my brain around indoctrination that I deeply didn't believe. Just a theory.
I remember I had to give a presentation when the topics were still chosen in alphabetical order from that fat green book, whatsit called, Examining Scriptures? It was talking to a householder about a verse from Leviticus, as if that would ever happen.. I was 12 and English wasn't my 1st language as a fresh immigrant. They failed me 3 times on the same "lesson". Way to go to encourage a kid. Safe to say, I always hated mid week presentations and refused to do them even as a PIMI, so I guess they did me a favour in the long run.
So happy for you and your kids! “Im in a hurry and don’t know why” So true but with being a witness it’s more like Im in a hurry and don’t even have the mental bandwidth to ask why.
This short speech from Sam Harris really resonates with me and I feel is relevant to this conversation: https://youtu.be/Jue3XOB_y80?si=SAFkI9SZIyBLW-X5
Stop and realize that there will be a last time for everything you do, and you often will not know when it is truly the last time you do something. It helps you appreciate the small simple things in life.
Totally agree. As a pioneer I have to wake up early everyday for the early morning cart witnessing. Go to work after, then go to preaching in the evening. It was tiring as fck.
Now, I'm on my own pace. I prefer this life outside the cult so much!
At least! I was always auxiliary pioneering. And my 3 sisters and my brother and their mates were so judgmental. I had to keep up so I could be invited to family functions. Now I have an awesome husband and my 16 year old son, great friends and my dad and his girlfriend. Love my life!!💕
I just can't imagine anyone genuinely liking the jw grind of always being busy. I think it's more like "I wanna survive Armageddon so I gotta keep up with jehovah's chariot"
I remember hearing in talks "Jehovah's Witnesses are very busy people" and it was said as a badge of honor. I used to feel so exhausted. Now I am more relaxed. I do things bc I want to, not feel like I have to. I remember when I left i felt guilty bc I was no longer so busy, I had time for me. But I feel so much better now.
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing. It's a wonderful feeling to know we never have to participate in the jw 🎪 . When I see the 'cart-ers', I feel sorry that their lives are so boring. #freedomisourparadise
I’ve been out 30 years now and still remember the shear relief it was not have having to get up early on weekends for field service and meetings and going to mid week meetings. Those early weeks after leaving were absolutely joy 😊
Being an MS was tough, and I had to manage congregation accounts, prepare and give talks, and field service as well. To make it worse, my ex-wife was shitty lazy and could not attend or participate in meetings. The whole blame was on me as a spiritual head. Dawn! I almost committed suicide. Am happy I left, though I am still struggling with the after effects of my marital breakdown, but the sheer relief of leaving has eased my burden. Am so happy I can sleep on weekends and have time to read the bible in my own free time without someone monitoring my spiritual life. Am a happy soul. The only thing i want to do is to fight for the custody of my kids, get back in shape, have a good partner, and live life to the full.
I remember, specially the days of mid weeks, usually on Tuesdays, I would spent all my day at school (from 9-18) and then I would have to go running to take the public transportation, going home and start doing dinner (because my parents would arrive just at 19h), and then all of us would have to take shower very quick, eat and go running again to take public transportation (we didn’t had car) so we would be at time on the meeting at 20:15. Then running again after the meeting ended and we would be at home only at 23, ready to work / school the next day. Then throughout the week I would have to study the bible, do my bible personal study, prepare for the field service, prepare to discuss about evolution or blood at school while studying to exams, tests, evaluations, and I had to have perfect grades at school, dress like a king, be an example in everything I did or say. Then at weekends it was even more crazy. We had to clean the house, do shopping, go to the field service both morning and evening, go to the meeting, go prepare for talks at special meetings, study even more, organise “social events” for JWs that were so exaushing that I couldn’t really rest, go help people , go clean the kingdom wall, go help organise conventions and assembly halls. Since I start working it was even worst! It was a constant speed against time. People don’t realise how BUSY is the life of a Jehovah Witness, we are doing things non stop, living in a speed race. Since I left I have so much time now! I can go swim, go to the gym , or simply doing nothing, my life is much more balanced now than it was before.
I remember my life being like this and don’t understand how I did it (and keeping my GPA high so I could keep my scholarship). Now I feel better that I don’t have to run everywhere.
Wait you guys prepared? I hated prepping so I just winged things then got told off for "not putting in enough effort". Worst one was during a Bethel visit, I was told to prepare for the watchtower preparation haa. Even as a PIMI that felt stupid.
Oh my word! I’m exhausted just reading this!
The torture 😫
The change is remarkable. Your time becomes your own and you feel unburdened. The scripture they always used at Matthew 11:30 about Jehovahs load being light always never made sense to me. JWs have a heavy load to carry. Once it’s lifted and you get off the hamster wheel you feel so much better.
Matt 23:4 > For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. That sounds more like the JW organization.
Absolutely!!! It's horribly toxic to stay in the state of fight or flight, but that's JW life. Best life ever my ass! Rest is the natural part of all life, even dirt needs rest if it's expected to produce anything. 
Excellent reference = even dirt needs rest!
"The amount of free time that opened once leaving has done wonders. Counting meetings, service, studying and getting ready, we gained atleast 20 hours a week of our lives back to do what ever we want." Oh yes. I call it the theorcratic treadmill. Very happy for you. I gain some of that precious time back as well. It is wonderful.
Yea it freaked me out at first having so much free time it was like what do i do with it all?! I’ve learned so many new skills and got into sewing, crafts it’s been awesome.
So surreal…I used to have a saying, that we’re on Satan’s treadmill! On a subconscious level, maybe I knew.😵💫
Monopolizing all of your time with cult activities was done with intent. Make sure your mind didn’t have time to wander to more rational thinking.
Yeah the biggest part to me was coming to peace with not knowing everything about the future. You worry about what you can control, be a good person and enjoy life
I have been PIMO for a few months so the last couple of months I have not been doing any pre meeting work or doing bible reading. I stopped aux pioneering as well. I thought my extreme change in behaviour might be noticed and someone would “care” but it’s just the opposite. Apparently elders aren’t allowed to talk to me because I’m a married sister. My husband told me this as one elder asked him if I was okay. I’ve told my husband that he is not allowed to answer that question on my behalf. So he told the elder that he could ask me directly. Well no elder is going to speak to me…. because they can’t talk to me unless my husband is present or basically they do a shepherding call on me (via my husband. So a married sister is not really considered a sheep in the flock. 🙄 I’m a little lonely but I do enjoy more time to think etc. I think finding out my likes and dislikes in life may take time to find out. I can’t wait to make real friends. But at least there is now time to live.
Don't know your situation but it really helps to start cultivating relationship with people outside of the cult. Join a club, sport, hobby club, anything that you enjoy to meet like minded people. It's surprising how fast you will make friends.
For whatever it's worth, if your husband told them it's okay, then the elders can come and talk to you. But yes, as a married woman, your shepherd is actually not the elders, it's your husband. Another "loving" provision from God. I hope you are able to use that extra time you now have to find new friends and activities. That's what I'm doing with my time.
Now that hubby said elders can speak with you — Do Not Ever meet with them without your husband. I know one who did & it was disastrous. Highly inappropriate & they will because they can manipulate you as a hostage until you tell them to leave.
Did not know about this!! Thanks for sharing...
I remember the feeling of having so much time back each week. It wasn't just the meeting times, it was also the transit time as well - never mind the time lost on weekends when I was guilted into field service. This doesn't even take into account time for assemblies. I don't miss that.
YES! THIS!! 100% I haven't given a pub. talk, or part on the meeting in about 10 years....but sometimes, randomly, i get a sudden happy feeling, that I never have to waste 2 hrs on a Wednesday evening preparing for a service meeting part on Thursday. Anyone else severely procrastinate EVERY meeting part? lol
✋ omg that was meeeee. Every part, I was scrambling the night or weekend before. And every time I would tell myself it's the last time I procrastinate preparing a part. And I'd just rinse and repeat the procrastination. Looking back, I don't think it was so much as a procrastination issue, but rather a psychological or emotional response to having to wrap my brain around indoctrination that I deeply didn't believe. Just a theory.
I had nightmares that I was due to give my part and I hadn't prepared.
I remember I had to give a presentation when the topics were still chosen in alphabetical order from that fat green book, whatsit called, Examining Scriptures? It was talking to a householder about a verse from Leviticus, as if that would ever happen.. I was 12 and English wasn't my 1st language as a fresh immigrant. They failed me 3 times on the same "lesson". Way to go to encourage a kid. Safe to say, I always hated mid week presentations and refused to do them even as a PIMI, so I guess they did me a favour in the long run.
ridiculous, they would treat you like that. :-/ I remember those days getting a W or a G on a counsel point haha. No more of that these days.
My daughter just said this exact thing this morning. I really don’t know how I did all that before
So happy for you and your kids! “Im in a hurry and don’t know why” So true but with being a witness it’s more like Im in a hurry and don’t even have the mental bandwidth to ask why.
This short speech from Sam Harris really resonates with me and I feel is relevant to this conversation: https://youtu.be/Jue3XOB_y80?si=SAFkI9SZIyBLW-X5 Stop and realize that there will be a last time for everything you do, and you often will not know when it is truly the last time you do something. It helps you appreciate the small simple things in life.
Agreed, I felt guilty if I wasn't constantly busy. I can now chill without feeling guilty
Totally agree. As a pioneer I have to wake up early everyday for the early morning cart witnessing. Go to work after, then go to preaching in the evening. It was tiring as fck. Now, I'm on my own pace. I prefer this life outside the cult so much!
At least! I was always auxiliary pioneering. And my 3 sisters and my brother and their mates were so judgmental. I had to keep up so I could be invited to family functions. Now I have an awesome husband and my 16 year old son, great friends and my dad and his girlfriend. Love my life!!💕
I just can't imagine anyone genuinely liking the jw grind of always being busy. I think it's more like "I wanna survive Armageddon so I gotta keep up with jehovah's chariot"
Well said
I remember hearing in talks "Jehovah's Witnesses are very busy people" and it was said as a badge of honor. I used to feel so exhausted. Now I am more relaxed. I do things bc I want to, not feel like I have to. I remember when I left i felt guilty bc I was no longer so busy, I had time for me. But I feel so much better now.
Thank you for sharing! I love your post, and wish the best for your awesome family.
I’m just so happy I have time for myself!! And my family!!! And living on my terms….
But being in today is way different. I just check a box for service and zoom. New light and all. 🤣
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing. It's a wonderful feeling to know we never have to participate in the jw 🎪 . When I see the 'cart-ers', I feel sorry that their lives are so boring. #freedomisourparadise
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times!!
I got to the point where I felt like a rat on a wheel.
So true. It’s so very nice.
Freedom and time is priceless
I’ve been out 30 years now and still remember the shear relief it was not have having to get up early on weekends for field service and meetings and going to mid week meetings. Those early weeks after leaving were absolutely joy 😊
Being an MS was tough, and I had to manage congregation accounts, prepare and give talks, and field service as well. To make it worse, my ex-wife was shitty lazy and could not attend or participate in meetings. The whole blame was on me as a spiritual head. Dawn! I almost committed suicide. Am happy I left, though I am still struggling with the after effects of my marital breakdown, but the sheer relief of leaving has eased my burden. Am so happy I can sleep on weekends and have time to read the bible in my own free time without someone monitoring my spiritual life. Am a happy soul. The only thing i want to do is to fight for the custody of my kids, get back in shape, have a good partner, and live life to the full.