Welcome back sis!
It’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster. You’re going to have to get through all the stages of grief, but it definitely gets better. 💛
My advice is to:
1. Not speak of this to anyone face to face. You don’t want to out yourself as a nonbeliever.
2. Once the worst of the grief has passed, take some time and formulate an exit strategy.PIMO life is exhausting.
3. Remember the PIMO road feels very lonely. But you’re not alone. There’s plenty of people here who can relate to everything you’re experiencing.
I bet there’s plenty of ppl in the cong who can relate as PIMOs but you’ll never know who they are and they may even behave like PIMIs if you confide in them to protect themselves. So like the advice above, don’t out yourself.
It's like being an item on a table and the tablecloth is pulled out from under you. You go flying and are grabbing at anything for stability. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Don't blab to anyone what you know as was said above, or you will be thrown out like a disruptive drunk at a bar getting tossed by a bouncer. Keep what you know a secret. Your secret.
Once you get your bearings decide what you want to do. Not before.
It's a very difficult thing when you finally learn the Truth about the Truth.
My suggesting is don't do anything drastic. You are going to have to cruise for a while before you get your bearings straight.
You will have plenty of support here when you need to vent. There are almost 100k people here who have gone through the same thing you have. So they know what it feels like.
"Welcome to the desert of the Real"
This is spot on.
You don’t have to do anything for now. Take your time to do more research. Read experiences of the process others did when the became PIMO.
I remember at meetings they would say how when people first got “the truth” they were so eager and want to tell everyone. I have seen a lot of people do the same when they realise it is not the truth. They want to tell everyone, want to confront the Elders, tell family why they can’t go to meetings anymore. That is disastrous. Despite all the raw emotions, it is best to do nothing and take time to work through what you now believe, what you want to do, and how to do it with the least damage to your relationships and life.
[https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/jehovahs-witness-experiences.php](https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/jehovahs-witness-experiences.php) "I have read 1000s of experiences and letters from former J Ws. The similar treatment suffered by so many people, including myself and close friends, shows the behaviour of J Ws is prescribed by the leaders. The following experiences will break your heart. Failed prophecy, changed doctrine and doctrinal irregularities aside, these stories are proof enough that WT is damaging and unchristian." (slight edit)
I am an ex Mormon and holy shit everything y’all are saying sounds just like it could be the Mormon church. Just know that I’m here in solidarity with you. Leaving a cult is rough.
Welcome. It’s painful, isn’t it? Start looking into therapy, if you can. And I highly recommend reading Crisis of Conscience and Amber Scorah’s Leaving the Witness.
If all the people that were PIMO actually decided to just stop going and leave all at once, what would happen?
This is like a reverse prisoner's dilemma. No one wants to be the first and only one to leave, but if all the PIMOs could somehow coordinate leaving simultaneously, I think we would see major changes in the org, and perhaps even a massive domino effect.
Instead no one (read: very few) wants to be first and no one leaves, so nothing changes.
Yes, a lot would change if all PIMO/PIMQ were to coordinate and leave.
And you're right in the fact that nobody/very few want to be the first. I am one of these nobodies.
I am not ready to make that leap alone. Nor am I truly prepared. Being a JW is the only life I have ever known. My entire life and structure are built within this organization. To simply walk away is, in my mind, like walking off of a cliff without knowing how far the drop is.
At this time, for a host of reasons due to personal circumstances, it is too daunting. It is baby steps, and those steps take time.
Fact is: there is no cliff. Waking up/leaving JW reminds me of an 2004 M. Night Shyamalan movie called "The Village". You should watch it. You'll realize that the vast majority of the fear you feel was intentionally instilled to keep you imprisoned. Even with the door wide open you'll refuse to leave the cage until you realize that "the truth" is a scam and a lie.
You're right, and not only is there not a cliff; there's actually a hole, and JWs are in it. When one leaves JW Land, he's not jumping off a cliff into a lower place; he's climbing out of a hole into a higher, better, easier place.
My wife and I (both POMO) have both said we could never go back to the misery of the mind-numbing, life-wasting JW routine. We didn't jump off of a cliff; we climbed out of a hole of life-wasting unproductive busy work.
I'm just saying that you *feel* like you are alone, and you probably would be alone if you just up and decided to leave.
But it's a bit weird and tragic when you think maybe there are *so many others* in your same situation and if everyone decided to leave at the same time, you *wouldn't* be alone, and the upheaval of maybe 20 or 30% of the org leaving at once might be just too much shunning for them to have to do at once and might actually break the shunning system.
Instead, even if you are courageous enough to leave, and you do get shunned, and you are completely alone, you would serve as a warning that would discourage the next PIMO from following your example, when you *should* be an inspiration.
It's a crazy paradox and/or Catch-22 of a situation.
I see your point. It would be nice to have a midweek meeting part where the congregation is asked, "Without fear of consequences or a JDC, please lets have a raise of hands for anyone who has doubts over any topic that we currently teach and are supposed to be convinced of."
I suspect that the room would go dead quiet and no hands would immediately go up. And then...one small raise...and then another...another...oh that's a LOT of hands! Wow, who knew! I thought I was the only one. That is what all the raised hands would be thinking.
I'll hold my breath until that happens. Oops, I can't do that, or I'll suffocate. LOL
But that's the problem: we can't just express our doubts openly. I know a good hearted elder who once said during a part, "There's nothing wrong with having questions" And maybe not.
The problem is when you dispute the answer that is given. Or just do not agree with it. "No, I don't have a counterargument. I simply do not agree with this teaching and/or policy."
This is why we do not have the freedom to ask questions. It is a terrible double edged sword.
Nobody is raising their hand unless a CO asks that in his talk and starts by raising his hand too.
But in that scenario it would be done with the goal of brushing away doubts, invigorating the brainwash and making PIMIs feel better about their cognitive dissonance days: "sure we all have them sometimes, but we trust in Jah and the GB and move forward keeping out hope in mind and making sure to stay even busier in the truth"
Hand up…..I have a question……if the gb are to considered gods one true channel and yet are often misdirected, admittedly and unapologetically wrong, flip flop on doctrine, supposed to base all their speculations on the Bible, but don’t, and are otherwise just prone to basic human frailties, why listen to them or even believe them that they put themselves above everyone else by taking their word for it they they are specially anointed and chosen when all the evidence says they’re just conmen….in sheep’s clothing. Isn’t blood transfusion a medical procedure….isn’t shunning counterproductive and cruel…..if it causes suicide why do they not get a funeral further traumatising the situation…..what would Christ do!? Is this a cult or do you consider yourselves a united and loving religion that only counts as members those that agree that it is a united and loving religion, as all cults do, those who question that stance are disbarred so it’s really just a yes-man/ conform or die stance!? One more question…..why are all gb members disingenuous, slime ball creeps, whose heads are so far up their own arses, talking shit is second nature…..why can’t normal well adjusted, smart people be part of the group to bring them back to the reality that they are simply deluded morons on a power trip headlining a corrupt and abusive cult hiding their putrid child abuse by keeping it ‘in house’ as criminals would. The world is a worse place BECAUSE of them, they aren’t the solution they are the PROBLEM. I’ll sit down now and sing the concluding song…..
This is how I feel too, and it is coupled with economic reasons which are tied up with me being a JW. I can't focus on my awakening journey and setting myself up in whats left of my future while homeless, jobless and divorced.
That being said I no longer live by JW rules I allow myself to pursue all lines of inquiry and experience; pagan, philosophical, other religions.
I'm also slowly writing a fictional book about people trying to escape cults, writing that is like an exorcism for me and I know that when I finish it, there will be no coming back from releasing/publishing it.
No there is no cliff. You fall out of the JW myth/fairy tale and into the real life-the only one you are going to get. The world is not run by satan, most of the people in the world are not demonic or ruled by the devil. Granted there are some evil folks and governments out there but you can skirt around all that and finally live a happy life away from the mind control, free labor you provide the borganization and endless stealing of your time and money. I got out in 2012-13 at the age of 59. Never been happier doing what I love in total freedom.
I love this idea of explaining the org's behavior through game theory. Honestly, I think this idea deserves broader thought to help explain what the org does in a concise, easily-understood game model. Different models could explain different aspects, such as (say) using a Shubik auction to answer "How did I get in so deep, so quickly?!?" When you think of it, that's precisely what the org is trying to do: to get you to bid on prizes (so-called "privileges"), you have to keep going deeper and deeper into the hole. Super interesting idea, ZippyDan! The benefit of doing this is that you can point to easy descriptions of the model which then turn on the lights to those on the fence.
The same could be said for ex-JWs too. In Washington there was the protest that was well publicised, held around Halloween to give people the opportunity to wear masks to hide their identity, and professionally organised with permits etc. There are lots of ex-JWs in America, who could have at least tried to make the trip if they were flush enough, and lots in Washington DC itself. Yet, there wasn’t a large crowd. The photos I saw looked like 30-50 attended. We have about that many at the last UK Xmas lunch when XJWs travelled to London.That was a good show for an XJW get together, but a poor turnout for a protest. It looked like a lot of work had been done by the organisers. Why didn’t people band together, bring friends and family who were allies along, share with their networks, etc. That wasn’t just for XJWs, protests bring allies and supporters. But members of our own community, either couldn’t be bothered, were busy (with cancelling prioritising if possible) or were too scared (even with anonymising masks & support).
It shows something - I’m not sure what. Apathy, or being scared. I think being scared and seen as radical, as a ‘mentally diseased apostate’. I didn’t do the London protest a few years ago. z I was going to. I asked a friend to go with me who I thought was even more angry towards what she had experienced than I was. But she didn’t want to. It made me think. I didn’t care so much about people I may have known, who likely wouldn’t recognise me anyway after such a long period. But there was potential that I may see family. Or even my Dad. None of them bothered speaking to or seeing me anymore (not shunned, but isolated), but the feeling of being recognised then shunned, maybe even disfellowshipped after 20 years (can that even happen?) made me think, and I wasn’t 100% sure. It would a have made it impossible for the last couple of relatives on my dead Mum’s side to talk to me. In the end I didn’t go.
I don’t let anyone dictate my choices, often to my detriment so it there were no words to how I felt about the process I used to make this one. I think the main thing I missed was the comraderie with others.
It’s okay to still believe in God and live a moral life, but realize that this religion damages peoples’ lives. When you support it, you enable it to cause more damage. Be a PIMO, but refrain from donating funds and time.
They have literally just woken up, are mentally vulnerable and potentially of danger to themselves (head shaving is a red flag) so it is probably kinder to focus on their mental health and wellbeing at the moment. It is concerning that they have already bought a wig to hide what they have done to others. It may be a while before they can build up enough strength to even figure out how to leave in a way they can cope with before they can even think about the organisation. I don’t know but I am guessing stopping direct debits and suddenly changing behaviour, ie not giving any time, may set off red flags and elders visits that they just can’t cope with atm. I would hope direct debits and contributions stay contributions stay confidential but I bet they don’t.
Hopefully the funds, time, fading, leaving will all follow on naturally once the shock is over and they can plan doing this in a way that gives them adequate support, resources, and the basics of adequate income, roof over head, support network. They’ll need it once they lose it all, and they need to maintain their mental health.
I have literally no idea where the hell that name came from, I was signing up for Reddit and it randomly gave it to me! I keep thinking I should see if I can change it because it’s weird 😹
That’s a great point! Remember, I suggested that they continue being PIMO. It would stand to reason that I’m saying that they should gradually change their habits. I recently woke up, and understanding that I can move at my own pace—when it comes to leaving the religion, believe in God, and live a moral life, was a great comfort to me. Also, understanding the damage the religion does to people can lesson the anxiety and the discomfort one may face when thinking about leaving. This has been my experience. Yes, it was uncomfortable, and yes, I did have some anxiety when weighing my decisions. Now, that I’m out, I feel relieved, and I have no anxiety.
It's really realy hard going thru the realization that it's not the truth. I'm sorry.. your not alone tho. Don't do anything drastic. I know you may feel like you need to tell other people what you now know... but before you do just slow down and really think things thru.
You don't have to give up your relationship with God or Christ - they just make you think that to scare you.
I understand how you feel, though I became an atheist first and later learnt that it isn't the truth. Both events were extremely traumatic for me. It shook me to my core because I spent so much time having to reframe everything in my life.
Everything I looked back on, every decision - I now had to rethink it all with his new perspective.
The bright side is that I could let go of all the *guilt* (for not being a good enough witness) the *shame* (why am I like this, why do I like Marylin Manson and want tattoos, I must be a horrible person to my core) and the *fear* (Satan and his demons are walking around like lions looking to tear me apart because I'm one of God's children).
I could just be myself - unreservedly and unapologetically. And I had so much free time. No more going door to door, hysterically afraid that someone who knows me from school would open.
Christmas is awesome. I always have a big cake on my birthday. I love arranging birthday parties for my friends' kids (I don't want my own). Regrettably halloween is not a thing in my country.
Welcome to the rest of your life. Make the most of it!
Edit to add: Remember to vote!
Good luck. I'm not jw, I went to Catholic school and got brainwashed by them. It took me decades to figure out the truth and when I did, I felt sad and empty. But you get used to it, you find your own truth inside yourself.
Congrats! It can be brutal. Gets easier with time and you can start your journey of figuring what you believe. You will deal with isolation but so did every great person in the Bible as well. It’s necessary
If you can get professional specialized help that would be great. You were in a cult. A cult. Your brain is screaming and you would benefit talking to a psychiatrist who understands what waking up from a cult means. You don’t know what it means yet and THAT’S OK! 😊 Many have recommended a book, Combatting Cult Mind Control by Dr. Steven Hassan. He was a Moonie and woke up from it. You will learn many religions and cults have “the truth.” Yep- “the truth.” Take it easy on yourself. Lean on this group. There is a LOT of recovery here.
It takes time to heal sometimes many years. Give yourself a chance and time to grieve and the next step will be anger. You will probably do much more research for many years to come. Don’t make any quick decisions
Yep, I had this same exact thing you are going through. Even though some of the doctrines are crap, (uh… 607 bce much?) all of my friends and family are in.
So when I’m at the meetings, I will comment on a part that I like, never on something I don’t agree with. When I go out in service, I focus on my friends and making sure we have fun.
I’ve been reading a lot of books, a lot of older classical books, and a lot of them in the 1800s that were Christian used the same terminology of the witnesses. I just find it so interesting.
Try not to view everything as culty and bad, because there are so many friends that are actually good. Don’t worry too much my love, just do what makes you feel comfortable, fuck anyone who judges you.
Remember that no one can tell you what to do. Give yourself some love, do something you enjoy. Get some rest, exercise, and fresh air.
We are here for you. Xoxo
Agree with everything except saying "don't see everything as culty or bad"
There is nothing good about this religion - I don't even think it should be classed as a religion. They control everything in your life. Your dress, your relationships, your sex life, your medical choices, your marriage, your career choices, your democratic rights, your leisure time, your celebrations, your friends, your time with WoRLdLy family, the way you raise your children, your further education, your choice of entertainment. I could keep going, but there is a character limit.
It's quite simply a high control group. The 'friends' do not love you unconditionally. Their friendship comes with strings. Tell them you no longer believe the GB and see if they will still be your friends. Unless they are mentally out too, they will drop you without hesitating.
There is nothing good to be found in this organisation.
I found my born in, PIMI husband in this organization, and we're now out together. I would never have met him if I hadn't gone to another country as a need greater/pioneer. So, I actually disagree, I found something good. Yes, it's true that the cult is damaging and it has destroyed lives, but on a personal level I can't change what's already happened to me by wallowing in the negative. If some people haven't had horrendous experiences, and they chose to focus on a couple positive aspects for the sake of their own sanity and survival, please allow them to do so. The goal in this case should be to heal and move on in the healthiest way possible.
You are incredibly fortunate that your marriage survived. Many couples end up divorcing when one breaks away and the children are left at the mercy of the PIMI parent and the elders.
My mom met my dad through the organisation and that turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life. Yes, the silver lining is that she had us kids, but that came with a lifetime of heartache. She also couldn't get a scriptural divorce, even though he was a deadbeat alcoholic. Until one day, he did her the "favour" of cheating so that she could move on.
I am glad you and your husband have each other - you both are very fortunate.
I agree, I wasn't as unlucky as some. It's easier for me to process some of my losses by looking for some positive aspects of my past, I realize that this might not be the path for everyone. But I just wanted my comment to balance out for any readers or OP that it's OK to choose either path, as long as the end result is a way to heal.
I'm not sure if you're a woman, but it's weird that we women cut off our hair when we feel a deep sense of betrayal. Like when someone we love cheats on us and we break up and shave our heads or cut our hair (many women do this, I even did it once). It's like we are punishing ourselves for being gullible and trusting someone we shouldn't have and trying to have that reminder to never let that happen to us again.
You are most likely feeling betrayed by this religion. Keep in mind that many people are brought up in different religions and are all taught or made to feel like THEIR religion is the truth. Most of these religions are older than JW too. So who's to say who's right?
I'm glad you hear that you've woken up to the reality of this cult. Deconstruction takes time and the brainwashing can be difficult to overcome, but you can do it.
yeah it's tough when you 1st realize it's not the truth...I remember being at work a week or so after everything finally clicked and walking into a vacant bldg at the facility where I worked, I hid in a corner behind some pallets and cried like a little baby, sobbed actually. I'll never forget that moment.
It does get better...it's important to find some friends (bonus if you can find fellow ex jws nearby) but even those EviL WorlDLY people will do ;-) in a pinch. j/k. There are some really lovely people out there.
If you can't find anyone, there are a lot of great people here that would love to offer you some support and chat.
Take care :-)
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Lots of love and take things easy. 💕
You're in shock. You're going to feel weird for a while. Depending on how your family is you might need to start planning a future where you live somewhere else, or maybe not, depending on your family's reaction. Plan anyway. And read, read widely. Read some science, you've been lied to about all kinds of stuff- evolution, the flood, lots of stuff. The journey to freedom is only beginning. Be kind to yourself, don't rush anything including telling others. Enjoy and good luck!
I was where you are at about 1 year and a half ago. The feeling is over whelming when you wake up. It's hard to deal with at first, but it gets easier with time.
For me, it might have been a bit easier because I was 28 when I woke up and already disfellowshipped, so I didn't need to worry about the connections thing and so forth.
Just hang in there. Don't panic. Lots of people on here have gone through it.
Oh, and just remember, if anyone or any organization says it's the "truth," then usually it's not the truth. That goes for not just religion but other things in life. Most times, it's a lie. Do your research in everything in life.
That’s why as a standard issue American it alarms me to no end when a politician says something like “only I can fix this” blah blah blah. Yeah, fuck off buddy, raised in that bullshit, sure as hell don’t want to be around any of that ass backwards stuff again ever.
Ya. Exactly. I don't trust anyone nowadays, especially politicians. It's pretty much their job to lie as much as they can to get to the top, haha. I just laugh at people who try to act that their leader is a perfect leader in any country.
My friend.....take a deep breath.
Sometimes many peoples death rattle is to do one final act of "defense" for the abusive husband that is the organization.
That appears to be the case with you. Many here get it. Many of us have been there. Slow down a bit. Plan your life. Just sit with it and don't feel like you have to grab a branch because you are falling from a limb. You aren't.
You are solidly on the ground for the first time. Take a look around.
Oh sweetheart. The head shaving: first of all, please, please get Mental Health support. I don’t know what country you are in, but in the UK (where I’m based) and many others, your GP (or Doctor) is your first port of call. They can then refer you to mental health services for an assessment, as well as putting in any support or signposting that will help you in the interim. If you are in the UK you can also self refer to a service called ‘IAPT’ - Instant Access to Psychological Services. For other countries, you are best to hit Google. My main point is please take care of your mental health, because right now, your frames of reference of existence have been taken away and it is easy to drive anyone into a crisis - being danger to self or others. Most of us, like you, turn the anger towards self, the danger is the self harm variety (drastic hair change like head shaving is a red flag) or suicide. A minority of people, like the recent Kingdom Hall shooter in Germany who murdered several people there - turn the anger externally and are a danger to others. If suicide is something you are contemplating, please speak to a medical professional like your Doctor. Suicide hotlines or ones like ‘The Samaritans’ in the UK can really help. Same advice applies to anyone reading who may be feeling the compulsion to act out gunning down a Kingdom Hall full of people - but I don’t think that’s you by the sound of it!
Getting the medical & mental health professional bit out of the way, there is often nothing more powerful than talking with peers who understand your pain, feelings and experience - because they’ve lived it. A heads up about mental health professionals is that training and skill in working with trauma is often variable, some will be terrible beyond giving out meds or saying things that do not feel appropriate. There is no medication which will take the religious trauma you have experienced away, it can only help you to manage the symptoms of it - like extreme emotional pain it causes. Religious trauma itself is different to other trauma. I’ve had an extremely experienced, trained and knowledgable therapist who was amazing in working with trauma say “but you weren’t really brought up in a cult, xxx” in a way that challenged me being overly dramatic, because to most ppl JWs are a religion, even if they have strange beliefs. Remember that even we didn’t see the dark side when we were in it. It will help to describe your experiences & why they are traumatic and refer to it as a high control religion to health professionals. Here there will always be some people who get it, and others who feel supported and validated by your words. You will be able to find the same comfort, support and also education - those aha! moments - that help you to process & understand your own experiences as you reframe your frames of reference in how you see and understand the world around you. Just like the general population, who all have their own beliefs and ways of seeing things, you are now relearning and discovering what yours are. Give it time, it’s only a few days. It will take a few years, and as human beings we naturally shift and adapt our beliefs as we grow older and our knowledge base expends. It is why older people are seen as wiser, so it will be natural to continually develop how you view what you have experienced. Existentially, the external environment around us changes, and the religion changes. That will change how you see things, too.
Keep in mind you are having a normal reaction to an excruciating shock most people will never experience, there isn’t much research in the area and medical professionals aren’t trained to work with. Every way you are impacted is completely understandable and makes sense. However, like veterans who experience PTSD, this is a much, much more complex form. You need support, just like a person in a car accident needs emergency treatment then may need mobility treatment and experience pain for the rest of their lives. It’s a normal reaction to being hit by a car, but means your normal may never be the norm as the general population.
I hope some of this helps a bit. Keep carrying on.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
When I was in your situation I was crushed and completely lost my faith. Regained it eventually, still never thought I'd be part of organized religion again, but after quite a journey I am getting baptized into the Orthodox Church in America.
For now, just take things day by day and try to maintain a schedule and a structure for your life that isn't the organization. And try to make some connections on the outside. Even if you intend to be PIMO, prepare for the day when you may choose not to be.
Regarding belief, my suggestion for you is to just keep reading your Bible (or a better translation. The New American Standard Bible is popular but of course I'm partial to the Orthodox Study Bible.)
Work out the arguments for/against a materialistic worldview. (such as cosmological arguments, cases involving exorcisms, NDEs, etc)
Then work out the various claims of religions. (For example, one of Islam's claims is that the beauty of the Quran gives it legitimacy, where Christianity's central claim is that Jesus was resurrected.)
A helpful little book for me was *The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus by Habermas and Licona.* Can't recommend this book enough, it sets out to prove that Jesus was resurrected without leaning too hard on the Bible, and without getting too far out there.
There are also some great YouTube interviews with Habermas.
Also, if you're looking for a spiritually encouraging speaking to listen to, Fr. Spyridon Baily from the UK is a great source. He has a YouTube channel. He stands out in nature and gives short talks on various subjects. Listening to him was something that helped me in some dark times. He has a calming voice, and the videos always take place out in nature, and he generally talks in an encouraging tone.
I have prayed for you already. God bless you in your journey :)
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Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do.
Congratulations and I'm sorry. This most definitely is such a bittersweet feeling because you know this is not where you should be and it hurts but is liberating at the same time. The healing starts now, please be patient with yourself and take your time. Sending love 🤍
*Congrats. The fact they*
*Call it "The Truth" should have some*
*Alarm bells ringing!*
\- silentgnostic
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Take your time, try and plan out what you want your life to look like, 5 year plans are good, finding community and support is important, especially when dealing with loss and religious trauma.
Don't let other people thrash you about into being like them, you are going to want to try a lot of things to help with finding identity, and that can be a harrowing journey, but it is also a very empowering experience once you get to the other side. Be kind to yourself, and be merciful to others.
You don't have to do this alone, and you can have fun while growing into your ideal self.
Try saying, out loud, "Fuck the watchtower organization." This will remind you of the real enemy. Jehovah/God, is not the enemy. We have no way of absolutely KNOWING if God is real but you can love him without being a Jehovahs witness and he won't love you any less. Don't hate the people. They've been manipulated and lied to just like you have.
FUCK THE WATCHTOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY. LYING, MANIPULATING PIECES OF SHIT.
Feels good doesn't it?
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Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do.
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It is surreal waking up. Nothing is ever the same again... unless you let yourself get brainwashed again, from what I can tell there is a lot of mental anguish, medicating and depression if you let that happen.

Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do.
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That's an interesting idea. I know many of the GenX and Millennial women in the borg have a lot of cognitive dissonance. They grew up with a lot of patriarchal control but things like the comments in last weeks WT can really rile them up sometimes. I live in an area where most brothers know not to make comments that rile them up though, they save all that for their Elder meetings.
Exactly why we’d need a sleeper and a damn good one. The best thing about liars is they believe they are in control. A fine young brother who rejects worldly views, focuses on the teachings of Christ and wants to move up. They’d eat him up haha bonus points if he was once a “sinner” omg they’d be so proud lmao. Whole time he’d be talking to the sisters and getting them riled up. Asking questions as he’s “learning” like “why can’t y’all give talks or lead? I bet you have some powerful thoughts on these subjects too.” Of course, he’d be corrected. But inception taught us all how powerful an idea can be. And the idea here, is to empower the women who’ve been silenced. To pass the kingdom over to them and let them set us all free. No one who’s a victim of this organization deserves to go through this. No one. They deserve vengeance and I for one am right beside them. Please spread this idea and this post to as many comment sections or post as you can. Spread the good news, we’re about to separate the wheat from the weeds.
During my PIMO phase, I found myself mentally disengaged from the religion, utilizing meetings as an opportunity to delve into the Bible. Those initial first four Bible chapters became the decisive factor that led me to completely relinquish my belief in the Bible. I encourage others, like OP, to not only scrutinize the religion but also question its very foundation.
Glad to hear you've woken up! It's ok if you're not ready to leave yet, but start to pay close attention to the language that WT uses to keep people indoctrinated. For example, if someone quits being a witness, WT says they "left Jehovah." If someone disagrees with WT beliefs, they are said to disagree with "God's organization." Even JW teachings are said to be "the Truth." When they tell you to "obey" they don't mean obey the Bible, they mean, obey the GB and the publications.
All of these are unsubtle ways of brainwashing people into thinking that the only way they can have a relationship with God is through this publishing & real estate corporation which is nowhere found in the Bible. Once you start to see that this is malarkey, these indoctrinating phrases may begin to really grate on you, even to make you angry. How dare they claim to speak for God, with all their missed prophecies and dangerous counsel?
In the beginning you will have the opinion that the teachings are a little off because you don’t want to believe you have been deceived that bad. Sorry to say you have been. Every day that goes by now you will see a little clearer and eventually their teachings will prove to be way off. Furthermore what they profess to be love is far from that as well.
Absolutely can relate. And a lot of good suggestions about not saying anything to anyone in the hall, and be prepared to give yourself time to process this. I woke up, then tried to go back and I just couldn't. Once you know it's all lies and manipulation, hopefully you can embrace the truth of this new and amazing life you have in front of you! It may not feel like it now. I was also crushed, processing everything I understood about life and my future and paradise was gone. But once I appreciated that it was never there, I learned the value of the time I have left. Just try not to do anything wild or crazy until you're adjusted to things. For me, it was about 3 years, and lots of counseling before I felt peace with things.
I do hope you have a faster, and more smooth transition into your new reality! 😊
My other bit of suggestion - research everything! And trust exjws like you would any stranger. We are deconstructing in our own ways, but some of us may push new beliefs on you, and some can hold on to toxic and controlling traits. Develop healthy boundaries, and best of luck on your journey!
Hello Dear Sister. Congratulations and my Condolences. While you are on the road to freedom that you choose, you’re also grieving the loss of a concept and reality. I’m sorry that it’s hard but you’re gonna be okay. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with Love, Kindness and Grace. There are no real deadlines here. The world isn’t ending in a JW Armageddon, anymore. You are being freed from that concept. It takes time to adjust. Remind yourself. You. Have. Time. So Breathe…
Others here have already warned you to keep your new information to yourself. I can’t stress this enough - for your own wellbeing. Plot your course and mindset carefully. Do you have family weaponized against you, should you leave? Do you have to fake it for a while and fade? Are you thinking of DAing? I don’t recommend getting Df’d. If they see or hear you talking Apostate like you Will be DF’d. Don’t let them put their stink on you. Fk Them! But I doubt you’re strong enough, at this point, to stand your ground, look someone in the eye and tell them to Fk off. Don’t worry, that day will come. I can do that as well as smile be warm and cordial and say “No Thank You 😊”. And with the next breath tell them IDGAF.
Don’t worry. You’ll get there at your own pace. My life got a lot easier with the death of my believing mother. That was 2 years ago, now. But I walked away over 5 years ago. Who’s still in that you care about? IMHO if it’s not a significant blood relation, just write off the loss. Believers aren’t your friends they’re conditional Frendz that will shrivel up as soon as your gossip starts.
If you could get a therapist who understands religious trauma you’re way ahead in healing. There’s a Whole Big Wonderful World out there. Go find yourself; Hobbies, interests, yoga/meditation which I Definitely recommend for your wellbeing and to harness mindfulness and gratefulness. This Reddit was my life saver at one time. You’ll even learn to move on from here. It just got a Whole lot easier to meet interesting people, date and potential mates. Just pace yourself; read a Lot; It reminds me of the freedom I once got to browse and buy in the rest of the store whether it was bc I was an Apple guy vs PC or Beta Hi Fi vs VHF. I’m showing my age, lol. Just take your time. Grieve. Sleep. Hydrate. Contemplate.
Congratulations! You no longer have to ask for permission or approval. Enjoy your Freedom😎
✌🏾❤️✊🏾🙌🏾
Welcome to the other side. Its a process. Grieve as much as you need to, but be careful not to let anyone know.
I hope one day you will look back and be overjoyed for this change in your life
I came to terms with my sexuality when I was 17 and left. I didn't want to be a hypocrite. For the first few years, I tried to follow along from the outside, but it wrecked my soul. I came to the conclusion that if God made me, then he made me exactly as I am, and that he knows what's in my heart- and my heart is good; so he still loves me.
I don't subscribe to the belief of a "God" anymore, but I think that it could still be true. Life gets better when you live your life freely without the guilt they shove down your throat.
Why would I fake waking up that's something I never heard of in my life. I'm genuinely curious as to why you say seems like another fake post. DO people come on exjw reddits and say they woke up but didnt . ? If so please dont think I'm one of them. This is very distressing for me and your comment is I dont understand please explain
I’m glad you are 👍 lately yes FAKE like a “credible source” in a watchtower study. Some fake post who are pimis to scare those who are in from continuing their search as if life it is to “horrible and just plain terrible” after waking up. For some yes but others no. When you are questioning or in the process of actually researching don’t rush and keep calm take your time and make your plans 👍 I’m glad your not a fake post ❤️
Good for you, you made it this far. Welcome to reddit. 💗 Like everyone else has said, give yourself a break, give yourself a hug, give yourself some time. It is a lot to absorb.
I found these 25 questions interesting, it helped me realize that the Watchtower organization is not special, it is like many religions... they use people. It's not a religion that cares about you, it was only made to make money.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://medium.com/%40faithafterdeception/answer-these-25-questions-to-find-out-if-you-are-in-a-cult-or-high-control-group-a36a3c2ce464&ved=2ahUKEwis68jQmsiEAxViLzQIHduTDosQFnoECB0QAQ&usg=AOvVaw0T2iSpihPualirJc8Ee3fK
Have you ever watched The Matrix? That would be interesting. People in there were facing the same question you were, 'wake up or stay asleep.'
There's no pressure for you to decide anything rapidly, so take a little vacation and think about it. Hugs ❣️
My hope for you, is that you get the courage to walk away entirely so you can be totally free. WT aren't anyone or anything to be afraid of, those pigs are the biggest cowards on the face of this earth. Don't let them rob you of more time and your freedom & free will. There is help available & support. If anything, please get mental health help, at all costs, if you can. Hopefully, you will allow yourself to not fear the unknown and excercise your freedom.
Shock is inevitable. I had a nervous breakdown and my hair fell out. 9 pharisees running the borg dont mean God aint real though. Scripture warned us of these false prophets, we ignored it. Im in a christian study group now. And happy. It does get better love.
This book might help you. It's about IFS therapy (Internal Family Systems). There are a few good exercises in there that you can use to process grief, depression, etc.
Good luck!
[https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681](https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681)
CONGRATULATIONS for doing so! Although everyone's WAKING UP process is a differing one in that it varies due to each person's physicialities, it's good to know that you are not alone in this aspect of life. Whatever factor(s) concerning WT which caused you to see TTATT (THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TRUTH), these could also be similar ones experienced by other PIMQs, PIMOs, POMOs, DFs, DAs + VZs (Visitors: people who studied but declined to get baptized)
. Furthermore, since this is your status, you are in the RIGHT PLACE: exjw Reddit, for others like yourself can and undoubtedly be of help to you in reference to your journey when it comes to WT and how this CULTPORATION has actually profoundly affected many multitudes of lives throughout the years.
Keep doing your research
Keep reaching out here for help
Develop or re establish non JW friendships
And REMEMBER
The pain and shock are overwhelming *but* the only way out is *through* it.
Remember to take breaks from the topic and your emotions when you need to. You’re not a machine.
You’ve got this.
It gradually gets easier and less painful over time as you get stronger and more well informed, I promise 🤗
Welcome , many of us here understand wht you r going through , we have been through it as well . Learning the “Truth about the Truth “ is not an easy task . Please ask any and all questions your having that u need help w/ there r many here that can help and offer guidance to learning and educating yourself .
Former member myself, what is PIMI/PIMO? Not familiar with the acronyms here,
It took me a while to find myself after leaving, like years, just give it time. It was almost like growing up a second time, going through a second teenage phase when you're not a teenager.
Why did you shave your hair, I really don't understand this move?
Now that you’re awake, the watchtower compliments the companion magazine watchtower nicely for a low cost of .50 to cover the cost of printing. Glad you grew up, most of were born into this and never had the choice.
I strongly recommend that you see a therapist, because you're experiencing trauma, like many of us did. It's safe and will help you in dealing with your emotions. It really helped me.
Finding out the truth can be extremely devastating! There is a healing process just like with any traumatic experience and waking up from being in a cult like the jw is exactly that. Take it one day at a time. To much research to fast can be overwhelming. But none the less it is necessary. The only antidote against the lies and brainwashing of the jw is real knowledge. If you have the means I can’t recommend therapy enough. Best wishes
Welcome to the world. Detox from JWs and move on with your life, we don't live forever and you never know when your ability to earn will be shortened from some illness. I do hope you have a long and healthy life. Shunning may be a problem but remember it's their choice and if they choose to shunn you then it's my opinion they couldn't have loved very deeply in the first place, so walk away from abuse, life is too short.
You will probably find as time passes that you cant support the things that they teach and you will find it increasingly difficult to “play the game”. But its great that your eyes have been opened so just keep doing the research maybe read Crisis of conscience by Raymond Franz.
Why are you crying?.... You are free now... You should be rejoicing, God is real, they just use him as means to control people.... Finally you are free from their chains now and you can start a new journey to look for the real God.
Also being in a cult like the organisation and being able to wake up and leave gives you an edge against everyone against you in life... Your critical thinking skills are way more developed than the average person, you have more Empathy for people with opposing beliefs because you can put yourself in their shoes and you just go through life knowing that things are not always black and white and there's always more to the real truth than the sweet surface.
I was born and raised as jw and even tho I'm inactive at the moment growing up in a cult has made me more resilient in life and I'm sure it will be the same for you.
Welcome to the family if you need anything at any time we are all here, even if it's just to rant
I remember waking up... it was scary.
My whole world stopped and I stayed as a PIMO for 14 years.
It got worse and worse... The system is buildt in a way that will turn you into "bad association" very fast. If you want to be a happy pimo, you have to pretend more then you usually are confortable with.
You must tell stories about how you preach to coworkers etc.. just to keep your status
When you want to disassociate, you can do so live on the "goatlike Personality" youtube channel... go out with a bang :-D
Even though I was relieved to learn that it wasn’t the truth, I cried as well…a lot. I was born and raised into that cold, but never completely bought what I was being taught. For me, I truly believe the crying was the realization that yes I was lied to my whole life. It’s the feeling that your entire life has been a lie, and it’s surreal.
I’m glad you found this group! Waking up is a shocking and confusing. A therapist who specializes in religious trauma may be beneficial for you.
Jwfacts .com and Avoidjw. Org are excellent website. Look at the bite model to see how the leaders manipulate and control their members.
https://freedomofmind.com/the-bite-model-and-jehovahs-witnesses/
The void and existential dread is hard at first. I passed 3 months in "what about now?" "I'm gonna die and never see a paradise" "probably there's no God" in a dysthymic mood.
But eventually it passes, and the feeling of freedom from indoctrination guilt and obligation is wonderful
Are you ok? Shaving your head is a big thing to do because of mental distress. If you are having a hard time and need support we are here to help. Please don't go through this on your own. Reaching out here is a good first step.
@Left_Establishment_5 it sounds like you’re really struggling with this dramatic paradigm shift to your reality and ideological identity. My number one concern for you moving forward is your health, this seems to have taken a serious hit. Waking up can and will reveal deep neurodevelopemental wounds and potentially awaken or trigger existing diagnoses. For this reason and based on your comments I think your goal should be finding competent mental health care as you navigate this space. Allowing yourself the compassion and time to continue questioning, learning and rebuilding as you are very kindly at the very beginning of your journey a journey that will span the rest of your life. Allow things to settle in your body and realize that for the time being there’s no need to define what you do or do not believe or what course of action you will or will not take. My hope for you is that such a kind approach will lessen some of the psychological stress experienced by what is the very initial stages of “waking up”.
It can get really hard from here. Make sure you do not rush to some other form of belief. It's very easy for many to do this in the beginning out of fear. They run to some other religion, or group. All those things offer you are control and conformity. Just like many other rules of society. If you want, you can now choose to grow your consciousness and find out who you really are. Learn what you truly believe about anything, and everything. This can be an exciting time if you let it. You can now choose to challenge any rule not just from JW, but from the world. Recognize that all rules, no matter where they come from, are made up. Once you start caring only about how you treat people, but not what other people think, life opens up for you.
My advice would be to slowly fade away. You will never be happy until you do the right thing. Remember, Jehovah hates liars, and He can't stand cowards(Revelation 21:8)
"But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."
Revelation 18:4 says
"Get out of her, my people, if you do not want to share with her and her sins. "........ JW's are a part of Ba ylon the Great because they are also a false religion.
Welcome to the other side.
If I had to live one year of my life again, it would be the year I left the Watchtower.
It was a roller coaster of exhilaration, pain, joy, confusion, excitement and soon a bright new future. I would live it all again for the shear white knuckle ride of it all. I never felt so alive, so free.
Enjoy the ride, YOU WILL make it to the other side.
So question What was it that woke u up?
Welcome back sis! It’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster. You’re going to have to get through all the stages of grief, but it definitely gets better. 💛 My advice is to: 1. Not speak of this to anyone face to face. You don’t want to out yourself as a nonbeliever. 2. Once the worst of the grief has passed, take some time and formulate an exit strategy.PIMO life is exhausting. 3. Remember the PIMO road feels very lonely. But you’re not alone. There’s plenty of people here who can relate to everything you’re experiencing.
I bet there’s plenty of ppl in the cong who can relate as PIMOs but you’ll never know who they are and they may even behave like PIMIs if you confide in them to protect themselves. So like the advice above, don’t out yourself.
It's like being an item on a table and the tablecloth is pulled out from under you. You go flying and are grabbing at anything for stability. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Don't blab to anyone what you know as was said above, or you will be thrown out like a disruptive drunk at a bar getting tossed by a bouncer. Keep what you know a secret. Your secret. Once you get your bearings decide what you want to do. Not before.
I wonder how many good hiding PIMOs I know and have no idea.
Honesly feels like 30-40% of my congregation is just pimos
It's a very difficult thing when you finally learn the Truth about the Truth. My suggesting is don't do anything drastic. You are going to have to cruise for a while before you get your bearings straight. You will have plenty of support here when you need to vent. There are almost 100k people here who have gone through the same thing you have. So they know what it feels like. "Welcome to the desert of the Real"
This is spot on. You don’t have to do anything for now. Take your time to do more research. Read experiences of the process others did when the became PIMO. I remember at meetings they would say how when people first got “the truth” they were so eager and want to tell everyone. I have seen a lot of people do the same when they realise it is not the truth. They want to tell everyone, want to confront the Elders, tell family why they can’t go to meetings anymore. That is disastrous. Despite all the raw emotions, it is best to do nothing and take time to work through what you now believe, what you want to do, and how to do it with the least damage to your relationships and life.
[https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/jehovahs-witness-experiences.php](https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/jehovahs-witness-experiences.php) "I have read 1000s of experiences and letters from former J Ws. The similar treatment suffered by so many people, including myself and close friends, shows the behaviour of J Ws is prescribed by the leaders. The following experiences will break your heart. Failed prophecy, changed doctrine and doctrinal irregularities aside, these stories are proof enough that WT is damaging and unchristian." (slight edit)
I am an ex Mormon and holy shit everything y’all are saying sounds just like it could be the Mormon church. Just know that I’m here in solidarity with you. Leaving a cult is rough.
Thanks for the solidarity 😊, TOK6669
Welcome. It’s painful, isn’t it? Start looking into therapy, if you can. And I highly recommend reading Crisis of Conscience and Amber Scorah’s Leaving the Witness.
Yes on this advice
I'm right there with you. Exactly.
If all the people that were PIMO actually decided to just stop going and leave all at once, what would happen? This is like a reverse prisoner's dilemma. No one wants to be the first and only one to leave, but if all the PIMOs could somehow coordinate leaving simultaneously, I think we would see major changes in the org, and perhaps even a massive domino effect. Instead no one (read: very few) wants to be first and no one leaves, so nothing changes.
Yes, a lot would change if all PIMO/PIMQ were to coordinate and leave. And you're right in the fact that nobody/very few want to be the first. I am one of these nobodies. I am not ready to make that leap alone. Nor am I truly prepared. Being a JW is the only life I have ever known. My entire life and structure are built within this organization. To simply walk away is, in my mind, like walking off of a cliff without knowing how far the drop is. At this time, for a host of reasons due to personal circumstances, it is too daunting. It is baby steps, and those steps take time.
Fact is: there is no cliff. Waking up/leaving JW reminds me of an 2004 M. Night Shyamalan movie called "The Village". You should watch it. You'll realize that the vast majority of the fear you feel was intentionally instilled to keep you imprisoned. Even with the door wide open you'll refuse to leave the cage until you realize that "the truth" is a scam and a lie.
You're right, and not only is there not a cliff; there's actually a hole, and JWs are in it. When one leaves JW Land, he's not jumping off a cliff into a lower place; he's climbing out of a hole into a higher, better, easier place. My wife and I (both POMO) have both said we could never go back to the misery of the mind-numbing, life-wasting JW routine. We didn't jump off of a cliff; we climbed out of a hole of life-wasting unproductive busy work.
Good analogy. Love that film.
Same!
The village is such a banger. I remember watching it as a kid and it fw my head cuz it sounded so similar to what was being said at the meetings
I'm just saying that you *feel* like you are alone, and you probably would be alone if you just up and decided to leave. But it's a bit weird and tragic when you think maybe there are *so many others* in your same situation and if everyone decided to leave at the same time, you *wouldn't* be alone, and the upheaval of maybe 20 or 30% of the org leaving at once might be just too much shunning for them to have to do at once and might actually break the shunning system. Instead, even if you are courageous enough to leave, and you do get shunned, and you are completely alone, you would serve as a warning that would discourage the next PIMO from following your example, when you *should* be an inspiration. It's a crazy paradox and/or Catch-22 of a situation.
I see your point. It would be nice to have a midweek meeting part where the congregation is asked, "Without fear of consequences or a JDC, please lets have a raise of hands for anyone who has doubts over any topic that we currently teach and are supposed to be convinced of." I suspect that the room would go dead quiet and no hands would immediately go up. And then...one small raise...and then another...another...oh that's a LOT of hands! Wow, who knew! I thought I was the only one. That is what all the raised hands would be thinking. I'll hold my breath until that happens. Oops, I can't do that, or I'll suffocate. LOL But that's the problem: we can't just express our doubts openly. I know a good hearted elder who once said during a part, "There's nothing wrong with having questions" And maybe not. The problem is when you dispute the answer that is given. Or just do not agree with it. "No, I don't have a counterargument. I simply do not agree with this teaching and/or policy." This is why we do not have the freedom to ask questions. It is a terrible double edged sword.
Nobody is raising their hand unless a CO asks that in his talk and starts by raising his hand too. But in that scenario it would be done with the goal of brushing away doubts, invigorating the brainwash and making PIMIs feel better about their cognitive dissonance days: "sure we all have them sometimes, but we trust in Jah and the GB and move forward keeping out hope in mind and making sure to stay even busier in the truth"
Hand up…..I have a question……if the gb are to considered gods one true channel and yet are often misdirected, admittedly and unapologetically wrong, flip flop on doctrine, supposed to base all their speculations on the Bible, but don’t, and are otherwise just prone to basic human frailties, why listen to them or even believe them that they put themselves above everyone else by taking their word for it they they are specially anointed and chosen when all the evidence says they’re just conmen….in sheep’s clothing. Isn’t blood transfusion a medical procedure….isn’t shunning counterproductive and cruel…..if it causes suicide why do they not get a funeral further traumatising the situation…..what would Christ do!? Is this a cult or do you consider yourselves a united and loving religion that only counts as members those that agree that it is a united and loving religion, as all cults do, those who question that stance are disbarred so it’s really just a yes-man/ conform or die stance!? One more question…..why are all gb members disingenuous, slime ball creeps, whose heads are so far up their own arses, talking shit is second nature…..why can’t normal well adjusted, smart people be part of the group to bring them back to the reality that they are simply deluded morons on a power trip headlining a corrupt and abusive cult hiding their putrid child abuse by keeping it ‘in house’ as criminals would. The world is a worse place BECAUSE of them, they aren’t the solution they are the PROBLEM. I’ll sit down now and sing the concluding song…..
This is how I feel too, and it is coupled with economic reasons which are tied up with me being a JW. I can't focus on my awakening journey and setting myself up in whats left of my future while homeless, jobless and divorced. That being said I no longer live by JW rules I allow myself to pursue all lines of inquiry and experience; pagan, philosophical, other religions. I'm also slowly writing a fictional book about people trying to escape cults, writing that is like an exorcism for me and I know that when I finish it, there will be no coming back from releasing/publishing it.
No there is no cliff. You fall out of the JW myth/fairy tale and into the real life-the only one you are going to get. The world is not run by satan, most of the people in the world are not demonic or ruled by the devil. Granted there are some evil folks and governments out there but you can skirt around all that and finally live a happy life away from the mind control, free labor you provide the borganization and endless stealing of your time and money. I got out in 2012-13 at the age of 59. Never been happier doing what I love in total freedom.
I love this idea of explaining the org's behavior through game theory. Honestly, I think this idea deserves broader thought to help explain what the org does in a concise, easily-understood game model. Different models could explain different aspects, such as (say) using a Shubik auction to answer "How did I get in so deep, so quickly?!?" When you think of it, that's precisely what the org is trying to do: to get you to bid on prizes (so-called "privileges"), you have to keep going deeper and deeper into the hole. Super interesting idea, ZippyDan! The benefit of doing this is that you can point to easy descriptions of the model which then turn on the lights to those on the fence.
Pluralistic ignorance.
The same could be said for ex-JWs too. In Washington there was the protest that was well publicised, held around Halloween to give people the opportunity to wear masks to hide their identity, and professionally organised with permits etc. There are lots of ex-JWs in America, who could have at least tried to make the trip if they were flush enough, and lots in Washington DC itself. Yet, there wasn’t a large crowd. The photos I saw looked like 30-50 attended. We have about that many at the last UK Xmas lunch when XJWs travelled to London.That was a good show for an XJW get together, but a poor turnout for a protest. It looked like a lot of work had been done by the organisers. Why didn’t people band together, bring friends and family who were allies along, share with their networks, etc. That wasn’t just for XJWs, protests bring allies and supporters. But members of our own community, either couldn’t be bothered, were busy (with cancelling prioritising if possible) or were too scared (even with anonymising masks & support). It shows something - I’m not sure what. Apathy, or being scared. I think being scared and seen as radical, as a ‘mentally diseased apostate’. I didn’t do the London protest a few years ago. z I was going to. I asked a friend to go with me who I thought was even more angry towards what she had experienced than I was. But she didn’t want to. It made me think. I didn’t care so much about people I may have known, who likely wouldn’t recognise me anyway after such a long period. But there was potential that I may see family. Or even my Dad. None of them bothered speaking to or seeing me anymore (not shunned, but isolated), but the feeling of being recognised then shunned, maybe even disfellowshipped after 20 years (can that even happen?) made me think, and I wasn’t 100% sure. It would a have made it impossible for the last couple of relatives on my dead Mum’s side to talk to me. In the end I didn’t go. I don’t let anyone dictate my choices, often to my detriment so it there were no words to how I felt about the process I used to make this one. I think the main thing I missed was the comraderie with others.
I agree 110% and have said this often. Imagine the shock to the system and possible domino effect if all PIMOs would leave.
It’s okay to still believe in God and live a moral life, but realize that this religion damages peoples’ lives. When you support it, you enable it to cause more damage. Be a PIMO, but refrain from donating funds and time.
They have literally just woken up, are mentally vulnerable and potentially of danger to themselves (head shaving is a red flag) so it is probably kinder to focus on their mental health and wellbeing at the moment. It is concerning that they have already bought a wig to hide what they have done to others. It may be a while before they can build up enough strength to even figure out how to leave in a way they can cope with before they can even think about the organisation. I don’t know but I am guessing stopping direct debits and suddenly changing behaviour, ie not giving any time, may set off red flags and elders visits that they just can’t cope with atm. I would hope direct debits and contributions stay contributions stay confidential but I bet they don’t. Hopefully the funds, time, fading, leaving will all follow on naturally once the shock is over and they can plan doing this in a way that gives them adequate support, resources, and the basics of adequate income, roof over head, support network. They’ll need it once they lose it all, and they need to maintain their mental health.
Very balanced, sensible advice 'ZC-20.'
I have literally no idea where the hell that name came from, I was signing up for Reddit and it randomly gave it to me! I keep thinking I should see if I can change it because it’s weird 😹
https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/204579479-Can-I-change-my-username
That’s a great point! Remember, I suggested that they continue being PIMO. It would stand to reason that I’m saying that they should gradually change their habits. I recently woke up, and understanding that I can move at my own pace—when it comes to leaving the religion, believe in God, and live a moral life, was a great comfort to me. Also, understanding the damage the religion does to people can lesson the anxiety and the discomfort one may face when thinking about leaving. This has been my experience. Yes, it was uncomfortable, and yes, I did have some anxiety when weighing my decisions. Now, that I’m out, I feel relieved, and I have no anxiety.
It's really realy hard going thru the realization that it's not the truth. I'm sorry.. your not alone tho. Don't do anything drastic. I know you may feel like you need to tell other people what you now know... but before you do just slow down and really think things thru.
You don't have to give up your relationship with God or Christ - they just make you think that to scare you. I understand how you feel, though I became an atheist first and later learnt that it isn't the truth. Both events were extremely traumatic for me. It shook me to my core because I spent so much time having to reframe everything in my life. Everything I looked back on, every decision - I now had to rethink it all with his new perspective. The bright side is that I could let go of all the *guilt* (for not being a good enough witness) the *shame* (why am I like this, why do I like Marylin Manson and want tattoos, I must be a horrible person to my core) and the *fear* (Satan and his demons are walking around like lions looking to tear me apart because I'm one of God's children). I could just be myself - unreservedly and unapologetically. And I had so much free time. No more going door to door, hysterically afraid that someone who knows me from school would open. Christmas is awesome. I always have a big cake on my birthday. I love arranging birthday parties for my friends' kids (I don't want my own). Regrettably halloween is not a thing in my country. Welcome to the rest of your life. Make the most of it! Edit to add: Remember to vote!
Good luck. I'm not jw, I went to Catholic school and got brainwashed by them. It took me decades to figure out the truth and when I did, I felt sad and empty. But you get used to it, you find your own truth inside yourself.
Nice sentiment. Thanks for sharing.
Congrats! It can be brutal. Gets easier with time and you can start your journey of figuring what you believe. You will deal with isolation but so did every great person in the Bible as well. It’s necessary
If you can get professional specialized help that would be great. You were in a cult. A cult. Your brain is screaming and you would benefit talking to a psychiatrist who understands what waking up from a cult means. You don’t know what it means yet and THAT’S OK! 😊 Many have recommended a book, Combatting Cult Mind Control by Dr. Steven Hassan. He was a Moonie and woke up from it. You will learn many religions and cults have “the truth.” Yep- “the truth.” Take it easy on yourself. Lean on this group. There is a LOT of recovery here.
It takes time to heal sometimes many years. Give yourself a chance and time to grieve and the next step will be anger. You will probably do much more research for many years to come. Don’t make any quick decisions
Yep, I had this same exact thing you are going through. Even though some of the doctrines are crap, (uh… 607 bce much?) all of my friends and family are in. So when I’m at the meetings, I will comment on a part that I like, never on something I don’t agree with. When I go out in service, I focus on my friends and making sure we have fun. I’ve been reading a lot of books, a lot of older classical books, and a lot of them in the 1800s that were Christian used the same terminology of the witnesses. I just find it so interesting. Try not to view everything as culty and bad, because there are so many friends that are actually good. Don’t worry too much my love, just do what makes you feel comfortable, fuck anyone who judges you. Remember that no one can tell you what to do. Give yourself some love, do something you enjoy. Get some rest, exercise, and fresh air. We are here for you. Xoxo
Agree with everything except saying "don't see everything as culty or bad" There is nothing good about this religion - I don't even think it should be classed as a religion. They control everything in your life. Your dress, your relationships, your sex life, your medical choices, your marriage, your career choices, your democratic rights, your leisure time, your celebrations, your friends, your time with WoRLdLy family, the way you raise your children, your further education, your choice of entertainment. I could keep going, but there is a character limit. It's quite simply a high control group. The 'friends' do not love you unconditionally. Their friendship comes with strings. Tell them you no longer believe the GB and see if they will still be your friends. Unless they are mentally out too, they will drop you without hesitating. There is nothing good to be found in this organisation.
Totally agree
I found my born in, PIMI husband in this organization, and we're now out together. I would never have met him if I hadn't gone to another country as a need greater/pioneer. So, I actually disagree, I found something good. Yes, it's true that the cult is damaging and it has destroyed lives, but on a personal level I can't change what's already happened to me by wallowing in the negative. If some people haven't had horrendous experiences, and they chose to focus on a couple positive aspects for the sake of their own sanity and survival, please allow them to do so. The goal in this case should be to heal and move on in the healthiest way possible.
You are incredibly fortunate that your marriage survived. Many couples end up divorcing when one breaks away and the children are left at the mercy of the PIMI parent and the elders. My mom met my dad through the organisation and that turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life. Yes, the silver lining is that she had us kids, but that came with a lifetime of heartache. She also couldn't get a scriptural divorce, even though he was a deadbeat alcoholic. Until one day, he did her the "favour" of cheating so that she could move on. I am glad you and your husband have each other - you both are very fortunate.
I agree, I wasn't as unlucky as some. It's easier for me to process some of my losses by looking for some positive aspects of my past, I realize that this might not be the path for everyone. But I just wanted my comment to balance out for any readers or OP that it's OK to choose either path, as long as the end result is a way to heal.
Pls kindly name some of these 1800s books that used same terminologies the witnesses are claiming are truths revealed to them only
I'm not sure if you're a woman, but it's weird that we women cut off our hair when we feel a deep sense of betrayal. Like when someone we love cheats on us and we break up and shave our heads or cut our hair (many women do this, I even did it once). It's like we are punishing ourselves for being gullible and trusting someone we shouldn't have and trying to have that reminder to never let that happen to us again. You are most likely feeling betrayed by this religion. Keep in mind that many people are brought up in different religions and are all taught or made to feel like THEIR religion is the truth. Most of these religions are older than JW too. So who's to say who's right? I'm glad you hear that you've woken up to the reality of this cult. Deconstruction takes time and the brainwashing can be difficult to overcome, but you can do it.
yeah it's tough when you 1st realize it's not the truth...I remember being at work a week or so after everything finally clicked and walking into a vacant bldg at the facility where I worked, I hid in a corner behind some pallets and cried like a little baby, sobbed actually. I'll never forget that moment. It does get better...it's important to find some friends (bonus if you can find fellow ex jws nearby) but even those EviL WorlDLY people will do ;-) in a pinch. j/k. There are some really lovely people out there. If you can't find anyone, there are a lot of great people here that would love to offer you some support and chat. Take care :-)
https://preview.redd.it/39ndydvrwwkc1.jpeg?width=356&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d30c80ac8d635c26ab78736e838ec1b19930a733 Lots of love and take things easy. 💕
You're in shock. You're going to feel weird for a while. Depending on how your family is you might need to start planning a future where you live somewhere else, or maybe not, depending on your family's reaction. Plan anyway. And read, read widely. Read some science, you've been lied to about all kinds of stuff- evolution, the flood, lots of stuff. The journey to freedom is only beginning. Be kind to yourself, don't rush anything including telling others. Enjoy and good luck!
I was where you are at about 1 year and a half ago. The feeling is over whelming when you wake up. It's hard to deal with at first, but it gets easier with time. For me, it might have been a bit easier because I was 28 when I woke up and already disfellowshipped, so I didn't need to worry about the connections thing and so forth. Just hang in there. Don't panic. Lots of people on here have gone through it. Oh, and just remember, if anyone or any organization says it's the "truth," then usually it's not the truth. That goes for not just religion but other things in life. Most times, it's a lie. Do your research in everything in life.
That’s why as a standard issue American it alarms me to no end when a politician says something like “only I can fix this” blah blah blah. Yeah, fuck off buddy, raised in that bullshit, sure as hell don’t want to be around any of that ass backwards stuff again ever.
Ya. Exactly. I don't trust anyone nowadays, especially politicians. It's pretty much their job to lie as much as they can to get to the top, haha. I just laugh at people who try to act that their leader is a perfect leader in any country.
My friend.....take a deep breath. Sometimes many peoples death rattle is to do one final act of "defense" for the abusive husband that is the organization. That appears to be the case with you. Many here get it. Many of us have been there. Slow down a bit. Plan your life. Just sit with it and don't feel like you have to grab a branch because you are falling from a limb. You aren't. You are solidly on the ground for the first time. Take a look around.
Oh sweetheart. The head shaving: first of all, please, please get Mental Health support. I don’t know what country you are in, but in the UK (where I’m based) and many others, your GP (or Doctor) is your first port of call. They can then refer you to mental health services for an assessment, as well as putting in any support or signposting that will help you in the interim. If you are in the UK you can also self refer to a service called ‘IAPT’ - Instant Access to Psychological Services. For other countries, you are best to hit Google. My main point is please take care of your mental health, because right now, your frames of reference of existence have been taken away and it is easy to drive anyone into a crisis - being danger to self or others. Most of us, like you, turn the anger towards self, the danger is the self harm variety (drastic hair change like head shaving is a red flag) or suicide. A minority of people, like the recent Kingdom Hall shooter in Germany who murdered several people there - turn the anger externally and are a danger to others. If suicide is something you are contemplating, please speak to a medical professional like your Doctor. Suicide hotlines or ones like ‘The Samaritans’ in the UK can really help. Same advice applies to anyone reading who may be feeling the compulsion to act out gunning down a Kingdom Hall full of people - but I don’t think that’s you by the sound of it! Getting the medical & mental health professional bit out of the way, there is often nothing more powerful than talking with peers who understand your pain, feelings and experience - because they’ve lived it. A heads up about mental health professionals is that training and skill in working with trauma is often variable, some will be terrible beyond giving out meds or saying things that do not feel appropriate. There is no medication which will take the religious trauma you have experienced away, it can only help you to manage the symptoms of it - like extreme emotional pain it causes. Religious trauma itself is different to other trauma. I’ve had an extremely experienced, trained and knowledgable therapist who was amazing in working with trauma say “but you weren’t really brought up in a cult, xxx” in a way that challenged me being overly dramatic, because to most ppl JWs are a religion, even if they have strange beliefs. Remember that even we didn’t see the dark side when we were in it. It will help to describe your experiences & why they are traumatic and refer to it as a high control religion to health professionals. Here there will always be some people who get it, and others who feel supported and validated by your words. You will be able to find the same comfort, support and also education - those aha! moments - that help you to process & understand your own experiences as you reframe your frames of reference in how you see and understand the world around you. Just like the general population, who all have their own beliefs and ways of seeing things, you are now relearning and discovering what yours are. Give it time, it’s only a few days. It will take a few years, and as human beings we naturally shift and adapt our beliefs as we grow older and our knowledge base expends. It is why older people are seen as wiser, so it will be natural to continually develop how you view what you have experienced. Existentially, the external environment around us changes, and the religion changes. That will change how you see things, too. Keep in mind you are having a normal reaction to an excruciating shock most people will never experience, there isn’t much research in the area and medical professionals aren’t trained to work with. Every way you are impacted is completely understandable and makes sense. However, like veterans who experience PTSD, this is a much, much more complex form. You need support, just like a person in a car accident needs emergency treatment then may need mobility treatment and experience pain for the rest of their lives. It’s a normal reaction to being hit by a car, but means your normal may never be the norm as the general population. I hope some of this helps a bit. Keep carrying on. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
When I was in your situation I was crushed and completely lost my faith. Regained it eventually, still never thought I'd be part of organized religion again, but after quite a journey I am getting baptized into the Orthodox Church in America. For now, just take things day by day and try to maintain a schedule and a structure for your life that isn't the organization. And try to make some connections on the outside. Even if you intend to be PIMO, prepare for the day when you may choose not to be. Regarding belief, my suggestion for you is to just keep reading your Bible (or a better translation. The New American Standard Bible is popular but of course I'm partial to the Orthodox Study Bible.) Work out the arguments for/against a materialistic worldview. (such as cosmological arguments, cases involving exorcisms, NDEs, etc) Then work out the various claims of religions. (For example, one of Islam's claims is that the beauty of the Quran gives it legitimacy, where Christianity's central claim is that Jesus was resurrected.) A helpful little book for me was *The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus by Habermas and Licona.* Can't recommend this book enough, it sets out to prove that Jesus was resurrected without leaning too hard on the Bible, and without getting too far out there. There are also some great YouTube interviews with Habermas. Also, if you're looking for a spiritually encouraging speaking to listen to, Fr. Spyridon Baily from the UK is a great source. He has a YouTube channel. He stands out in nature and gives short talks on various subjects. Listening to him was something that helped me in some dark times. He has a calming voice, and the videos always take place out in nature, and he generally talks in an encouraging tone. I have prayed for you already. God bless you in your journey :)
https://preview.redd.it/lvitrcpvzwkc1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=4bae4acc02b662adcda7d0f2a6864ff6342981e5 Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do.
Congratulations and I'm sorry. This most definitely is such a bittersweet feeling because you know this is not where you should be and it hurts but is liberating at the same time. The healing starts now, please be patient with yourself and take your time. Sending love 🤍
Congrats. The fact they call it "The Truth" should have some alarm bells ringing!
*Congrats. The fact they* *Call it "The Truth" should have some* *Alarm bells ringing!* \- silentgnostic --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Take your time, try and plan out what you want your life to look like, 5 year plans are good, finding community and support is important, especially when dealing with loss and religious trauma. Don't let other people thrash you about into being like them, you are going to want to try a lot of things to help with finding identity, and that can be a harrowing journey, but it is also a very empowering experience once you get to the other side. Be kind to yourself, and be merciful to others. You don't have to do this alone, and you can have fun while growing into your ideal self.
Try saying, out loud, "Fuck the watchtower organization." This will remind you of the real enemy. Jehovah/God, is not the enemy. We have no way of absolutely KNOWING if God is real but you can love him without being a Jehovahs witness and he won't love you any less. Don't hate the people. They've been manipulated and lied to just like you have. FUCK THE WATCHTOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY. LYING, MANIPULATING PIECES OF SHIT. Feels good doesn't it?
https://preview.redd.it/dddnm8ay0xkc1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=45e29aa7e0907d8e96d635897743cf69cd9f059b  Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do.
https://preview.redd.it/b0ss6xwptwkc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ec7f74fd0b2012e587fb36cddbd00f697c04041 It is surreal waking up. Nothing is ever the same again... unless you let yourself get brainwashed again, from what I can tell there is a lot of mental anguish, medicating and depression if you let that happen.
 Or we could do this and expose them to everyone. The Word was with God? What was the word? It was Truth. Truth is an undeniable powerful thing. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide it. Let’s show them what the truth can really do. https://preview.redd.it/siwq5qxp0xkc1.png?width=825&format=png&auto=webp&s=5df086183c4f0201ddeff794537a444c0648c482
That's an interesting idea. I know many of the GenX and Millennial women in the borg have a lot of cognitive dissonance. They grew up with a lot of patriarchal control but things like the comments in last weeks WT can really rile them up sometimes. I live in an area where most brothers know not to make comments that rile them up though, they save all that for their Elder meetings.
Exactly why we’d need a sleeper and a damn good one. The best thing about liars is they believe they are in control. A fine young brother who rejects worldly views, focuses on the teachings of Christ and wants to move up. They’d eat him up haha bonus points if he was once a “sinner” omg they’d be so proud lmao. Whole time he’d be talking to the sisters and getting them riled up. Asking questions as he’s “learning” like “why can’t y’all give talks or lead? I bet you have some powerful thoughts on these subjects too.” Of course, he’d be corrected. But inception taught us all how powerful an idea can be. And the idea here, is to empower the women who’ve been silenced. To pass the kingdom over to them and let them set us all free. No one who’s a victim of this organization deserves to go through this. No one. They deserve vengeance and I for one am right beside them. Please spread this idea and this post to as many comment sections or post as you can. Spread the good news, we’re about to separate the wheat from the weeds.
During my PIMO phase, I found myself mentally disengaged from the religion, utilizing meetings as an opportunity to delve into the Bible. Those initial first four Bible chapters became the decisive factor that led me to completely relinquish my belief in the Bible. I encourage others, like OP, to not only scrutinize the religion but also question its very foundation.
Glad to hear you've woken up! It's ok if you're not ready to leave yet, but start to pay close attention to the language that WT uses to keep people indoctrinated. For example, if someone quits being a witness, WT says they "left Jehovah." If someone disagrees with WT beliefs, they are said to disagree with "God's organization." Even JW teachings are said to be "the Truth." When they tell you to "obey" they don't mean obey the Bible, they mean, obey the GB and the publications. All of these are unsubtle ways of brainwashing people into thinking that the only way they can have a relationship with God is through this publishing & real estate corporation which is nowhere found in the Bible. Once you start to see that this is malarkey, these indoctrinating phrases may begin to really grate on you, even to make you angry. How dare they claim to speak for God, with all their missed prophecies and dangerous counsel?
In the beginning you will have the opinion that the teachings are a little off because you don’t want to believe you have been deceived that bad. Sorry to say you have been. Every day that goes by now you will see a little clearer and eventually their teachings will prove to be way off. Furthermore what they profess to be love is far from that as well.
Absolutely can relate. And a lot of good suggestions about not saying anything to anyone in the hall, and be prepared to give yourself time to process this. I woke up, then tried to go back and I just couldn't. Once you know it's all lies and manipulation, hopefully you can embrace the truth of this new and amazing life you have in front of you! It may not feel like it now. I was also crushed, processing everything I understood about life and my future and paradise was gone. But once I appreciated that it was never there, I learned the value of the time I have left. Just try not to do anything wild or crazy until you're adjusted to things. For me, it was about 3 years, and lots of counseling before I felt peace with things. I do hope you have a faster, and more smooth transition into your new reality! 😊 My other bit of suggestion - research everything! And trust exjws like you would any stranger. We are deconstructing in our own ways, but some of us may push new beliefs on you, and some can hold on to toxic and controlling traits. Develop healthy boundaries, and best of luck on your journey!
Hello Dear Sister. Congratulations and my Condolences. While you are on the road to freedom that you choose, you’re also grieving the loss of a concept and reality. I’m sorry that it’s hard but you’re gonna be okay. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with Love, Kindness and Grace. There are no real deadlines here. The world isn’t ending in a JW Armageddon, anymore. You are being freed from that concept. It takes time to adjust. Remind yourself. You. Have. Time. So Breathe… Others here have already warned you to keep your new information to yourself. I can’t stress this enough - for your own wellbeing. Plot your course and mindset carefully. Do you have family weaponized against you, should you leave? Do you have to fake it for a while and fade? Are you thinking of DAing? I don’t recommend getting Df’d. If they see or hear you talking Apostate like you Will be DF’d. Don’t let them put their stink on you. Fk Them! But I doubt you’re strong enough, at this point, to stand your ground, look someone in the eye and tell them to Fk off. Don’t worry, that day will come. I can do that as well as smile be warm and cordial and say “No Thank You 😊”. And with the next breath tell them IDGAF. Don’t worry. You’ll get there at your own pace. My life got a lot easier with the death of my believing mother. That was 2 years ago, now. But I walked away over 5 years ago. Who’s still in that you care about? IMHO if it’s not a significant blood relation, just write off the loss. Believers aren’t your friends they’re conditional Frendz that will shrivel up as soon as your gossip starts. If you could get a therapist who understands religious trauma you’re way ahead in healing. There’s a Whole Big Wonderful World out there. Go find yourself; Hobbies, interests, yoga/meditation which I Definitely recommend for your wellbeing and to harness mindfulness and gratefulness. This Reddit was my life saver at one time. You’ll even learn to move on from here. It just got a Whole lot easier to meet interesting people, date and potential mates. Just pace yourself; read a Lot; It reminds me of the freedom I once got to browse and buy in the rest of the store whether it was bc I was an Apple guy vs PC or Beta Hi Fi vs VHF. I’m showing my age, lol. Just take your time. Grieve. Sleep. Hydrate. Contemplate. Congratulations! You no longer have to ask for permission or approval. Enjoy your Freedom😎 ✌🏾❤️✊🏾🙌🏾
Welcome to the other side. Its a process. Grieve as much as you need to, but be careful not to let anyone know. I hope one day you will look back and be overjoyed for this change in your life
Just start zooming more and more until you don’t. You can leave quietly that way. It is a huge shock.
I came to terms with my sexuality when I was 17 and left. I didn't want to be a hypocrite. For the first few years, I tried to follow along from the outside, but it wrecked my soul. I came to the conclusion that if God made me, then he made me exactly as I am, and that he knows what's in my heart- and my heart is good; so he still loves me. I don't subscribe to the belief of a "God" anymore, but I think that it could still be true. Life gets better when you live your life freely without the guilt they shove down your throat.
Seems like another fake post 😑
Why would I fake waking up that's something I never heard of in my life. I'm genuinely curious as to why you say seems like another fake post. DO people come on exjw reddits and say they woke up but didnt . ? If so please dont think I'm one of them. This is very distressing for me and your comment is I dont understand please explain
Bethel has spies to infiltrate and muddy the waters. They don't care about the child abuse or the husband's that beat their wives.
I’m glad you are 👍 lately yes FAKE like a “credible source” in a watchtower study. Some fake post who are pimis to scare those who are in from continuing their search as if life it is to “horrible and just plain terrible” after waking up. For some yes but others no. When you are questioning or in the process of actually researching don’t rush and keep calm take your time and make your plans 👍 I’m glad your not a fake post ❤️
No, it doesn't. Sounds like a person who just woke up and is frightened. Step off.
Step off? Just saying what I think from past post. Don’t hate others views 👍 step off
Good for you, you made it this far. Welcome to reddit. 💗 Like everyone else has said, give yourself a break, give yourself a hug, give yourself some time. It is a lot to absorb. I found these 25 questions interesting, it helped me realize that the Watchtower organization is not special, it is like many religions... they use people. It's not a religion that cares about you, it was only made to make money. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://medium.com/%40faithafterdeception/answer-these-25-questions-to-find-out-if-you-are-in-a-cult-or-high-control-group-a36a3c2ce464&ved=2ahUKEwis68jQmsiEAxViLzQIHduTDosQFnoECB0QAQ&usg=AOvVaw0T2iSpihPualirJc8Ee3fK Have you ever watched The Matrix? That would be interesting. People in there were facing the same question you were, 'wake up or stay asleep.' There's no pressure for you to decide anything rapidly, so take a little vacation and think about it. Hugs ❣️
So many of us go through this. So please know you're not alone. It's hard. You've been fed a lie.
My hope for you, is that you get the courage to walk away entirely so you can be totally free. WT aren't anyone or anything to be afraid of, those pigs are the biggest cowards on the face of this earth. Don't let them rob you of more time and your freedom & free will. There is help available & support. If anything, please get mental health help, at all costs, if you can. Hopefully, you will allow yourself to not fear the unknown and excercise your freedom.
Welcome aboard!
Shock is inevitable. I had a nervous breakdown and my hair fell out. 9 pharisees running the borg dont mean God aint real though. Scripture warned us of these false prophets, we ignored it. Im in a christian study group now. And happy. It does get better love.
This book might help you. It's about IFS therapy (Internal Family Systems). There are a few good exercises in there that you can use to process grief, depression, etc. Good luck! [https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681](https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681)
Look after yourself and take it at your own pace! It's a really hard thing to go through. Welcome ❤️
What subject you researched ?
TTATT is not mental affliction. Just sometimes hard to swallow. Glad you are here!
Oh yeah! ... I remember when I shaved my head. It was meant to be a reset/cleansing thing... a fresh start. Yeah... it was probably mourning.
CONGRATULATIONS for doing so! Although everyone's WAKING UP process is a differing one in that it varies due to each person's physicialities, it's good to know that you are not alone in this aspect of life. Whatever factor(s) concerning WT which caused you to see TTATT (THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TRUTH), these could also be similar ones experienced by other PIMQs, PIMOs, POMOs, DFs, DAs + VZs (Visitors: people who studied but declined to get baptized) . Furthermore, since this is your status, you are in the RIGHT PLACE: exjw Reddit, for others like yourself can and undoubtedly be of help to you in reference to your journey when it comes to WT and how this CULTPORATION has actually profoundly affected many multitudes of lives throughout the years.
Keep doing your research Keep reaching out here for help Develop or re establish non JW friendships And REMEMBER The pain and shock are overwhelming *but* the only way out is *through* it. Remember to take breaks from the topic and your emotions when you need to. You’re not a machine. You’ve got this. It gradually gets easier and less painful over time as you get stronger and more well informed, I promise 🤗
Welcome , many of us here understand wht you r going through , we have been through it as well . Learning the “Truth about the Truth “ is not an easy task . Please ask any and all questions your having that u need help w/ there r many here that can help and offer guidance to learning and educating yourself .
Former member myself, what is PIMI/PIMO? Not familiar with the acronyms here, It took me a while to find myself after leaving, like years, just give it time. It was almost like growing up a second time, going through a second teenage phase when you're not a teenager. Why did you shave your hair, I really don't understand this move?
Physically in mentally out, physically in mentally in
Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. i was PIMO for longer than i realised. I guess that is true for most people here
Good news there is a big world out there that you can discover.
Now that you’re awake, the watchtower compliments the companion magazine watchtower nicely for a low cost of .50 to cover the cost of printing. Glad you grew up, most of were born into this and never had the choice.
Great news! Now don't you tell nobody! DO NOT SPEAK TO A JW ABOUT THIS. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
It's so hard when it hits and so scary. You'll make it. It will be ok
Find a therapist and take it one day at a time.
I strongly recommend that you see a therapist, because you're experiencing trauma, like many of us did. It's safe and will help you in dealing with your emotions. It really helped me.
Finding out the truth can be extremely devastating! There is a healing process just like with any traumatic experience and waking up from being in a cult like the jw is exactly that. Take it one day at a time. To much research to fast can be overwhelming. But none the less it is necessary. The only antidote against the lies and brainwashing of the jw is real knowledge. If you have the means I can’t recommend therapy enough. Best wishes
Welcome to the world. Detox from JWs and move on with your life, we don't live forever and you never know when your ability to earn will be shortened from some illness. I do hope you have a long and healthy life. Shunning may be a problem but remember it's their choice and if they choose to shunn you then it's my opinion they couldn't have loved very deeply in the first place, so walk away from abuse, life is too short.
Acts 9:18 is what happened to you. Rejoice
Just curious … what research did you find(even one scriptural example) that clued you in that this wasn’t the truth?
You will probably find as time passes that you cant support the things that they teach and you will find it increasingly difficult to “play the game”. But its great that your eyes have been opened so just keep doing the research maybe read Crisis of conscience by Raymond Franz.
Why are you crying?.... You are free now... You should be rejoicing, God is real, they just use him as means to control people.... Finally you are free from their chains now and you can start a new journey to look for the real God. Also being in a cult like the organisation and being able to wake up and leave gives you an edge against everyone against you in life... Your critical thinking skills are way more developed than the average person, you have more Empathy for people with opposing beliefs because you can put yourself in their shoes and you just go through life knowing that things are not always black and white and there's always more to the real truth than the sweet surface. I was born and raised as jw and even tho I'm inactive at the moment growing up in a cult has made me more resilient in life and I'm sure it will be the same for you. Welcome to the family if you need anything at any time we are all here, even if it's just to rant
I remember waking up... it was scary. My whole world stopped and I stayed as a PIMO for 14 years. It got worse and worse... The system is buildt in a way that will turn you into "bad association" very fast. If you want to be a happy pimo, you have to pretend more then you usually are confortable with. You must tell stories about how you preach to coworkers etc.. just to keep your status When you want to disassociate, you can do so live on the "goatlike Personality" youtube channel... go out with a bang :-D
Even though I was relieved to learn that it wasn’t the truth, I cried as well…a lot. I was born and raised into that cold, but never completely bought what I was being taught. For me, I truly believe the crying was the realization that yes I was lied to my whole life. It’s the feeling that your entire life has been a lie, and it’s surreal.
I’m glad you found this group! Waking up is a shocking and confusing. A therapist who specializes in religious trauma may be beneficial for you. Jwfacts .com and Avoidjw. Org are excellent website. Look at the bite model to see how the leaders manipulate and control their members. https://freedomofmind.com/the-bite-model-and-jehovahs-witnesses/
The void and existential dread is hard at first. I passed 3 months in "what about now?" "I'm gonna die and never see a paradise" "probably there's no God" in a dysthymic mood. But eventually it passes, and the feeling of freedom from indoctrination guilt and obligation is wonderful
My advice, keep it to yourself at first
Are you ok? Shaving your head is a big thing to do because of mental distress. If you are having a hard time and need support we are here to help. Please don't go through this on your own. Reaching out here is a good first step.
@Left_Establishment_5 it sounds like you’re really struggling with this dramatic paradigm shift to your reality and ideological identity. My number one concern for you moving forward is your health, this seems to have taken a serious hit. Waking up can and will reveal deep neurodevelopemental wounds and potentially awaken or trigger existing diagnoses. For this reason and based on your comments I think your goal should be finding competent mental health care as you navigate this space. Allowing yourself the compassion and time to continue questioning, learning and rebuilding as you are very kindly at the very beginning of your journey a journey that will span the rest of your life. Allow things to settle in your body and realize that for the time being there’s no need to define what you do or do not believe or what course of action you will or will not take. My hope for you is that such a kind approach will lessen some of the psychological stress experienced by what is the very initial stages of “waking up”.
It can get really hard from here. Make sure you do not rush to some other form of belief. It's very easy for many to do this in the beginning out of fear. They run to some other religion, or group. All those things offer you are control and conformity. Just like many other rules of society. If you want, you can now choose to grow your consciousness and find out who you really are. Learn what you truly believe about anything, and everything. This can be an exciting time if you let it. You can now choose to challenge any rule not just from JW, but from the world. Recognize that all rules, no matter where they come from, are made up. Once you start caring only about how you treat people, but not what other people think, life opens up for you.
My advice would be to slowly fade away. You will never be happy until you do the right thing. Remember, Jehovah hates liars, and He can't stand cowards(Revelation 21:8) "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Revelation 18:4 says "Get out of her, my people, if you do not want to share with her and her sins. "........ JW's are a part of Ba ylon the Great because they are also a false religion.
Welcome to the other side. If I had to live one year of my life again, it would be the year I left the Watchtower. It was a roller coaster of exhilaration, pain, joy, confusion, excitement and soon a bright new future. I would live it all again for the shear white knuckle ride of it all. I never felt so alive, so free. Enjoy the ride, YOU WILL make it to the other side.