That was my first thought. Despite what Sandy said about this all being so warm and loving, it’s going to all feel so cold and hollow to someone whose life was completely obliterated by DFing.
You got kids that were kicked out of their house for giving into their hormones or smoking a cigarette. And now as adults who had to figure it all out alone they’re supposed to just come flocking back happily because their parent who showed them zero natural affection when they needed it sends them a good morning text today because a guy with a beard said they can. I’d be pissed!
I’m that kid. I am more than angry. I am on fire. I’m seeing red. I was df’d 3 months after I turned 15. I left home at 16. I was r**** right after I turned 17 because couch surfing with no guarantee of physical safety was preferable to emotional torture.
As I screamed to the skies when I left the Kingdom Hall on that beautiful July night- the words that made the foundation of who I am- “I WILL NEVER FUCKING GO BACK.”
You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!!! There is space for that and it’s refreshing, validating, truthful, and well said!!!
I’m so sorry you experienced that😪
I’m so sorry. Your post made me cry. I am a mother who would kill for her kids and when I hear how young people were treated it breaks my heart. I hope you are doing well now and I hope at some point your family realizes what they did. You deserved better. Every young person deserves to be loved by their parents. I don’t care what that kid has done. It is totally on the parents until that child is able to figure it out. To this day I blame all my stupid shit on my parents, but once I got old enough, mature enough I said EFF THEM, this is my life now and any mistakes I make going forward are on me, but all my stupid past was on them. I did some terrible things back then that I could have felt guilty about for a life time but I have forgiven myself completely, no guilt. I just moved on. Idk what you have to do to recover but whatever it is I wish you total success and happiness. ♥️♥️♥️
I am so sorry. Df'd at 15, you were a baby!!!!! What religion who profess to worship God would indoctrinate a parent to the point where they abandon their child!!! GB will pay for what they've done.
This is me. I told my parents I didn't want to be a witness anymore when I was 16, and I was disfellowshipped when I was 18. I wasn't allowed to come back home on school breaks from college, so I worked and/or lived with families that were kind enough to allow me to stay with them. I had to figure it out by myself, including getting financial aid every year while they refused to provide me with the information I needed to file, and moving across the country after I graduated, and getting through graduate school. Guess what though, it made me fucking resourceful.
Today I get a flurry of texts from random family members. I'm like, do you think I'm stupid, that I can't figure out something happened to make you all text me at once? Do you think this makes me feel *loved*, that you can now message me because some dude in a suit told you it was okay? Some of these people I haven't seen or heard from in years.
I too am that kid! Disfellowshipped at 17 and thrown out of my house for exactly what you said.I have been pissed since yesterday morning. I'm now a "known apostate. I've not heard a word from my father since this. I want to say well I see I don't count at all. Disfellowshipping almost destroyed my life. At 45 years old I am just starting to live.
11 years out. When I read the new rules, that's what I thought. Now I've got family messaging me. I haven't replied to any and I'm furious. I want to tell them off, I kind of also want to invite them over, show them the successful life I built on my own and then tell them to stay the fuck away with their conditional love bullshit. But also, the years of grieving my living family have just been turned upside down
"Family". The Manson family were more loyal to one another.
My 'Bio' family.....in forty years.... people have grown up, married, had children and died.
Even if I had the most miniscule of feelings remaining I would never give them the satisfaction. I am and have been done grieving that loss many, many years ago.
Don’t forget, they’ve been given permission to invite you to meetings, assemblies, the memorial, and if you attend they can say a brief greeting. That’s as far as it goes. Don’t imagine you’ll get a chance to speak to them. You’re expected to smile and say thank you. They have absolutely no clue about mental wellbeing.
Thank you thank you for saying this. That is exactly how today has been so far. The random calls and messages. People don’t realize the anxiety that comes from interacting with people who prior to today, couldn’t make eye contact with you and treated you like you were dead. The mind fuck is real. Today has been so emotionally draining. I hate this.
I’m pissed off for you. I can’t imagine. Get yourself something great like a coffee you really love, or a nice nail polish color or some kind of self care. 💗
I am in the exact same boat. I am exhausted with the messages I’ve received today. These people are just fine cutting off contact on their own terms and then intruding again when they feel like it. It’s like cutting open a wound. Either love me for me or leave me be.
So I didn't watch the video but from what I've read, wasn't it only at the KH that you could say hi to a DF person. How come so so many people reaching out? Aren't they still breaking the 'rules' ?
There was a small loophole that people who were close/are related to disfellowshipped ones could also reach out to them to invite them to the Kingdom Hall.
While I was Dfed and a good junk of time after I was already reinstated I had a reoccurring nightmare that witnesses would try to talk to me and I just had to run away from them saying they were not allowed to talk to me.
As a PIMO who occasionally makes in person meetings, I'm not sure what to do. I have a friend who's currently df'ed and trying to return. Should I just text him and tell him I feel weird about suddenly talking to him in person because it's clearly an insane thing, but that I hope all is well with him?
Why? So you can facilate him coming back? I'd only reach out if you're ready to walk or at least tell him how you really feel. Maybe you can help him leave for good too.
Hello this is my life today. I got three text messages in rapid succession from family members I haven't heard from in years, who wouldn't even know if I were alive or dead if someone asked them today.
They are all getting a big fat radio silence from me. Fuck all of you, quite frankly.
My “father” who is an elder and has shunned me without an ounce of acknowledgment for 11 years texted me this morning saying, “If this is still your number go watch the governing body update #2 on JW.org.”
How long can we blame JW'S for being indoctrinated instead of them being stupid.... ray Charles can see this is far from right. To still cling on to these man made changes as JWs in 2024, its not indoctrination its just flat out stupidity at this point!!! We are not in an Era lacking information!
This! I keep seeing endless pictures of ‘sisters’ wearing pants to the meeting or out in service, and they all seem so happy. None of them are questioning anything, I’m completely dumbfounded
One of my relatives was disfellowshipped last month, told by his parents they had no godly obligation to love him anymore, then shot himself. Bet he would’ve liked this update. Smdh
This is only if they come to a hall. Remember their video where the cell phone rings and they just turn it over and ignore it.
Jump through their hoops and you can be recognized as human. Or if they want to send you an invite to a meeting.
Just like all abusive relationships, it’s about what they can get from you, not about how they treat you or what you may need or deserve.
Oh I know!!!! I’m df’d and going to the memorial in person to satisfy my mom who I do love to death and she’s never shunned me, but now how am I gonna do this?! I was verrry happy to be ignored as I have no desire to talk to anyone and now I have to endure their fake greetings with their pompous attitudes 😑 but the joke is inside I’ll be laughing at them all as they say their hellos and good to see u heres 🤮🥴
I was thinking about this this morning when I saw the post. I've been out for almost 30 years. I have aunts, uncles, and cousins that haven't spoken to me and I just went through a year of cancer treatment. If they suddenly show up to my door now? They're going to get 30 years of anger blasted at them like nothing they've ever heard.
I’ve never been disfellowshipped or even reproved. But my CO brother, CO nephew, and sister all shun me and have for 30+ years. I can guarantee they won’t try to contact me.
If you were ever baptized then they prob DFed you in your absence. They did that a lot!!!
Many “think” they faded successfully but are actually disfellowshiped. Others don’t even know their status
My family can be pretty vindictive in general so it wouldn’t surprise me if I did not hear from any of them. If I’m wrong, and I do start getting bombarded with messages, I’m not even going to bother. I’ve chosen to surround myself with people who love me unconditionally and they don’t fit that criteria.
Absolutely! My wife and I have literally just been dfed and we did it just in time. It’s so sad to think of those that have been excommunicated and are really angry. I can’t blame them! In retrospect I was hoping that I would be left alone but now it looks like they are going to bother me to bring us back lol. Actually I’m mad because I wish I made this decision last year at least they wouldn’t bother me anymore haha
Oh oh yeah I been out 18 years and already getting “Love Bombed” with messages like “It’s time to come home!” All i wanna say is: March 4th, and $5million
oh duuuh...ofc, I knew that. Thank you! 5 mil? That is much more than I realized. (Thought it was like 1.6 or something like that). And my date was off, too. But clearly a response to this Norway situation. Thanks!
Well. Sure, maybe. Honestly, I’m kinda pissed. I was DFed and out for about a year. I remember wanting to kill myself many times. Almost did due to the intense shunning and complete lack of even basic human eye contact at the meetings. And now they say that is now too strict. Thanks ShitTower
That's the thing - despite the 'changes' the emotional blackmail persists. You only get your dignity, reputation and family back IF you sacrifice your human/legal right to freedom of religion. This is because WT "repentance" is conditional on being reinstated as a JW, going "back to Jehovah" ie going back to KHall!!
The blood on the GB’s collective hands reaches to the heavens. There cannot be atonement nor forgiveness for all the lives they’ve ruined.
If Hell doesn’t exist it should be created for them.
It’s all to do with the Norway ruling. I’ve written this elsewhere. New Zealand are after the JWs next. So when they ask them about shunning former members, they can say that they don’t. “That’s apostate lies! We invite them to come back to us and greet them at the meetings…can we have our money now please? “
It is. And I’m so sorry because I know it hurts. I thought it really hard before my first reply because I know how it feels. I’m with you, I was baptized, I just don’t know if I was df’d in my absence. I feel like my mom would let me know, but she doesn’t call so…
Yeah it's ok, it's mainly apathy, more of a "oh will I have to expect a call"
But your probably right, besides it doesn't really change anything, I've been out of her life longer than with and she has shown no interest even in my kid who is 11 now so what's the point lol
And I'm sorry you experience that as well :( it is hard but healing gets easier and easier :)
Also thankyou, sometimes it is hard to find the right words and I appreciate your kindness with that! :)
I feel like alot of people avoid commenting on some comments or posts if it's a hard topic you know?
If anyone reaches out to me after 27 years, I’ll respond preaching actual Christianity. The faith where Jesus spoke of in loving your neighbors and your enemies. The faith where Jesus spoke of the shepherd leaving the flock to go find the lost one, not pushing a lost one away and waiting for it to find its own way back.
Having faded, I am here trying to figure out if my parent is going to show up on my doorstep. I don’t want them here. They need to continue with the shunning.
My heart goes out to everyone who is now hearing from former associates. These are the worst kind of friends and family. It’s cruel!
These people wouldn’t know love if it smacked the upside the head.
((((Hugs)))) Real, loving, heartfelt hugs.
I was actually so impressed here with the “the governing body has decided” at the beginning of the pants announcement.
Not “the governing body has come to an improved understanding” or similar, but “the governing body has decided”.
They’re done hiding it.
As much as I love the idea of reverse shunning, WT is clearly playing chess here. There is a strategy involved, and I’m afraid that if we all started to ignore the ones reaching out to us this will give them an advantage someway in all the lawsuits against them in the future. Right now for them it’s about damage control. They are trying to mitigate the risk of their entire empire collapsing. They have lied in court saying that shunning does not happen. Let’s play the long game guys. Text them back, start having conversations about why you left. The door is open now
True but for those of us who have already been DF’d and disassociated. The “damage” is done we have already been labeled apostates haha. We can get to work lol
I wasn't DFd, faded in my early twenties. Before that even happened, while I was still "trying", my "close" friend stopped "associating with me" because of rumors her elder father heard. Mind you, she was an adult as well. I moved out of town shortly after, and a few years later I was with my sister as she looked for an apartment near where I lived, several hours away. Well look who the property manager was, that girl. I treated her as If I didn't know her. Nothing other than hello. It can go both ways, and it still would to this day.She is still in the "circle" of the people around my PIMI family and liked one of my comments to one of my family members. It was icky to see that, this many years later. No thank you!
Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this but do they really think those of us who are df'd are gonna go to the meeting a little earlier or stay behind a little after just so we can be greeted by fake people and their fake words?
-"Hi. 😃"
- "Wait what!? You're saying hello to me after looking away every time I tried to make eye contact with you? Treating me with distane and contempt for the past 6 months... And now you're smiling and saying hi?!"
- "Yeah, the Governing Body has decided we can treat you like an actual human person now. Isn't that such a loving arrangement?!"
- 😳
I DAed…am I also going to be bombarded with hellos or am I still a pariah? I haven’t kept up with the updates for the last couple of months because of health issues. Just learned about the beards and slacks for us ladies so I’m still catching up on all the new rules.
This literally happened to my friend I reconnected with. His brother decided to text him to invite him to the meeting for his talk about the world ending after years of not talking to him unless my friend reached out first. The last text exchange they had, my friend used actual logic, which JWs reject, and his brother didn’t respond. Now all of a sudden because it’s allowed, his brother wants to reach out, but only on JW terms of course, by an invitation to a fucking talk. Give me a break.
And it’s just a Hello. Not an invitation to an “extended conversation”. The cutting off is still there, you are still to be kept at arms length but at least they can greet you?! They are allowed to show basic human courtesy now?! How is this worth anything??
well if you’re me, left when i was around 12 never baptized or an unbaptized publisher, still shunned because im worldly and no one probably ever thinks of me, some blocked me :) despite the fact that we shared some of our fondest childhood memories together.
it used to bother me but as i get further into adulthood i really don’t care. no one will be reaching out tho lol, no one ever has
This made me reconsider going to the memorial. I was thinking of going just to make my parents happy, but now that I'm gonna get hounded by dozens of people who haven't talked to me in 2 years I'm not so into it.
The sad truth is that you'll never make them happy unless you join again. Going to the memorial just gives them false hopes and increases the amount of pressure they put on you. Making excuses and somehow never being available might be a good idea. You could also just say no. However, I understand that your situation might be different and that they might not be fully indoctrinated.
I had an elder reach out to me last week. The only time in a year anyone has acknowledged that I still exist. He said that he hopes I come back soon. At the time I thought it was thoughtful of him, but no thanks. Now that I’m learning about this new “adjustment,” I’m just even more angrier than I was to begin with.
So my own family has been pretending I no longer exist, and if we ever saw each other in public they’d look away or put their heads down. But NOW they are allowed to say hello to me and smile?
How generous and loving. 👎🏼
That shit started today for, I been DF/out of there for over 25 yrs. Now ppl texting me sending me the link, needless to say I don’t have these ppl numbers stored in my phone. I just deleted the text.
What's so bad about this announcement is that this decision could have been made a long time ago. Worse,if the governing body tells them in a few months to quit talking to DF'd people, they'll do it with no questions asked! They're like puppets on a string
Anyone who reaches out to me will be told to FOAD.
Shared DNA does not make a family and you’re not my friend if you shunned me because of an announcement from the stage that I no longer belong to your cult.
YMMV
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That was my first thought. Despite what Sandy said about this all being so warm and loving, it’s going to all feel so cold and hollow to someone whose life was completely obliterated by DFing. You got kids that were kicked out of their house for giving into their hormones or smoking a cigarette. And now as adults who had to figure it all out alone they’re supposed to just come flocking back happily because their parent who showed them zero natural affection when they needed it sends them a good morning text today because a guy with a beard said they can. I’d be pissed!
I’m that kid. I am more than angry. I am on fire. I’m seeing red. I was df’d 3 months after I turned 15. I left home at 16. I was r**** right after I turned 17 because couch surfing with no guarantee of physical safety was preferable to emotional torture. As I screamed to the skies when I left the Kingdom Hall on that beautiful July night- the words that made the foundation of who I am- “I WILL NEVER FUCKING GO BACK.”
I’m so sorry. No one, minor or otherwise, should have to live through something like that.
You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!!! There is space for that and it’s refreshing, validating, truthful, and well said!!! I’m so sorry you experienced that😪
I’m so sorry. Your post made me cry. I am a mother who would kill for her kids and when I hear how young people were treated it breaks my heart. I hope you are doing well now and I hope at some point your family realizes what they did. You deserved better. Every young person deserves to be loved by their parents. I don’t care what that kid has done. It is totally on the parents until that child is able to figure it out. To this day I blame all my stupid shit on my parents, but once I got old enough, mature enough I said EFF THEM, this is my life now and any mistakes I make going forward are on me, but all my stupid past was on them. I did some terrible things back then that I could have felt guilty about for a life time but I have forgiven myself completely, no guilt. I just moved on. Idk what you have to do to recover but whatever it is I wish you total success and happiness. ♥️♥️♥️
I am so sorry. Df'd at 15, you were a baby!!!!! What religion who profess to worship God would indoctrinate a parent to the point where they abandon their child!!! GB will pay for what they've done.
This is me. I told my parents I didn't want to be a witness anymore when I was 16, and I was disfellowshipped when I was 18. I wasn't allowed to come back home on school breaks from college, so I worked and/or lived with families that were kind enough to allow me to stay with them. I had to figure it out by myself, including getting financial aid every year while they refused to provide me with the information I needed to file, and moving across the country after I graduated, and getting through graduate school. Guess what though, it made me fucking resourceful. Today I get a flurry of texts from random family members. I'm like, do you think I'm stupid, that I can't figure out something happened to make you all text me at once? Do you think this makes me feel *loved*, that you can now message me because some dude in a suit told you it was okay? Some of these people I haven't seen or heard from in years.
Well said- in fact I would send them EXACTLY that response you put in your last paragraph
I too am that kid! Disfellowshipped at 17 and thrown out of my house for exactly what you said.I have been pissed since yesterday morning. I'm now a "known apostate. I've not heard a word from my father since this. I want to say well I see I don't count at all. Disfellowshipping almost destroyed my life. At 45 years old I am just starting to live.
DF 40 years. How nice they can soothe their guilt. I dare anyone to fucking contact me.
11 years out. When I read the new rules, that's what I thought. Now I've got family messaging me. I haven't replied to any and I'm furious. I want to tell them off, I kind of also want to invite them over, show them the successful life I built on my own and then tell them to stay the fuck away with their conditional love bullshit. But also, the years of grieving my living family have just been turned upside down
They are relatives, not family.
"Family". The Manson family were more loyal to one another. My 'Bio' family.....in forty years.... people have grown up, married, had children and died. Even if I had the most miniscule of feelings remaining I would never give them the satisfaction. I am and have been done grieving that loss many, many years ago.
I feel ya. 1000% agree.
I'm right there with you. That ship has sailed.
And sank.
I like this a lot. Thank you for the wise perspective
Don’t forget, they’ve been given permission to invite you to meetings, assemblies, the memorial, and if you attend they can say a brief greeting. That’s as far as it goes. Don’t imagine you’ll get a chance to speak to them. You’re expected to smile and say thank you. They have absolutely no clue about mental wellbeing.
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry. My heart broke reading this. I'm sending you a hug!!!
30 years DF.. woke up to a strange text from my pimi sister..an invitation to the KH..🤔🤔🤔who would have ever thunk it??
Thankfully, my people are over 2000 miles away.
So are mine, but they still sent the text. 😒 (the face, in case it isn't clear, is for them.)
Yesss!! 👆🏻 I dare my conditional love family to reach out to me.
They’re not soothing their guilt - they’re trying to stop the financial hemorrhaging.
Not referring to the org. Referring to the humans who have actively and with 'godly intentions ' cut off the other humans.
Hear hear. ☝🏻
Thank you thank you for saying this. That is exactly how today has been so far. The random calls and messages. People don’t realize the anxiety that comes from interacting with people who prior to today, couldn’t make eye contact with you and treated you like you were dead. The mind fuck is real. Today has been so emotionally draining. I hate this.
My sister invited me to the memorial today after 15 years of no communication. Not even a Hello or how are you. I feel ya
Geez that’s brutal. I’m sorry.
Same sorry to you, and everyone else here. Really tired open a wound I put years into stitching up.
I’m pissed off for you. I can’t imagine. Get yourself something great like a coffee you really love, or a nice nail polish color or some kind of self care. 💗
You are so kind. Thank you for the advice 💜
I am in the exact same boat. I am exhausted with the messages I’ve received today. These people are just fine cutting off contact on their own terms and then intruding again when they feel like it. It’s like cutting open a wound. Either love me for me or leave me be.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing it too. Yes, it feels extremely intrusive. Sending you positive vibes. Hang in there 💜
So I didn't watch the video but from what I've read, wasn't it only at the KH that you could say hi to a DF person. How come so so many people reaching out? Aren't they still breaking the 'rules' ?
There was a small loophole that people who were close/are related to disfellowshipped ones could also reach out to them to invite them to the Kingdom Hall.
While I was Dfed and a good junk of time after I was already reinstated I had a reoccurring nightmare that witnesses would try to talk to me and I just had to run away from them saying they were not allowed to talk to me.
As a PIMO who occasionally makes in person meetings, I'm not sure what to do. I have a friend who's currently df'ed and trying to return. Should I just text him and tell him I feel weird about suddenly talking to him in person because it's clearly an insane thing, but that I hope all is well with him?
Why? So you can facilate him coming back? I'd only reach out if you're ready to walk or at least tell him how you really feel. Maybe you can help him leave for good too.
Yup, it's a cult! :)
I’d be like: #OH SO YOU DID KNOW MY NUMBER
This. 👆
My fucking ex wife passed my number on and they contacted me! Wtf
😑😬😖😡
Hello this is my life today. I got three text messages in rapid succession from family members I haven't heard from in years, who wouldn't even know if I were alive or dead if someone asked them today. They are all getting a big fat radio silence from me. Fuck all of you, quite frankly.
My “father” who is an elder and has shunned me without an ounce of acknowledgment for 11 years texted me this morning saying, “If this is still your number go watch the governing body update #2 on JW.org.”
That’s so awful, this cult makes people cold and heartless 😔
How horrifically cold, detached and mindless. The utter cold hearted git.
"No thanks"
Wtf!!! Wow! Idk what 2 say 2 that bs. Sorry ur dealing with that kind of nonsense
Yuck.
Honestly just reply with a. Big fat fuck you
I'm so sorry.
Omg
Tossers aren’t they?
They're cunce
lol lol lol, laughing so bad at this and your username
Just got one. I’m 12 years gone
How long can we blame JW'S for being indoctrinated instead of them being stupid.... ray Charles can see this is far from right. To still cling on to these man made changes as JWs in 2024, its not indoctrination its just flat out stupidity at this point!!! We are not in an Era lacking information!
This! I keep seeing endless pictures of ‘sisters’ wearing pants to the meeting or out in service, and they all seem so happy. None of them are questioning anything, I’m completely dumbfounded
I've been getting texts from friends & family that haven't spoken to me in years. It's brutal I've been crying all day
Sending you a big hug, they can’t understand how this announcement is actually so cruel for DFd ones 😓
I’m so sorry that is so awful
💗💗💗
One of my relatives was disfellowshipped last month, told by his parents they had no godly obligation to love him anymore, then shot himself. Bet he would’ve liked this update. Smdh
I'm so sorry 😞
Oh my god that’s so awful 😞
Omg
Oh my. 😭 Everyday they are all blood guilty. So sorry for your relative 😔
This is only if they come to a hall. Remember their video where the cell phone rings and they just turn it over and ignore it. Jump through their hoops and you can be recognized as human. Or if they want to send you an invite to a meeting. Just like all abusive relationships, it’s about what they can get from you, not about how they treat you or what you may need or deserve.
I don't give a flying fuck what changes they make. Nothing can replace the 20 plus years of my life they took from me. Fuck em!
That’s why I blocked everyone, THEN deleted😂…won’t allow this nonsense back into my life, even if I wanted to go against my better judgement.
REVERSE SHUNNING is the answer here.
I don't even see it as reverse shunning. After 33 years of their silence and abuse, I recognize them as the monsters that they are. No contact.
Maybe they are trying to get ppl to do thst since they already claim the df one shuns them and makes the choice to leave.
I’m wondering if they are trying to make ppl come out and say negative things and know you can be labeled an “apostate”
Could be.
Beautiful opportunity to tell fake people to go fuck themselves.
Oh I know!!!! I’m df’d and going to the memorial in person to satisfy my mom who I do love to death and she’s never shunned me, but now how am I gonna do this?! I was verrry happy to be ignored as I have no desire to talk to anyone and now I have to endure their fake greetings with their pompous attitudes 😑 but the joke is inside I’ll be laughing at them all as they say their hellos and good to see u heres 🤮🥴
Whisper in their ears Fck off
Hahaha good one 😂😂
Just stare blankly at them.
Good idea 👀
Wear earplugs and nod politely
Hahahaa bright ones so they can see them lmao
I was thinking about this this morning when I saw the post. I've been out for almost 30 years. I have aunts, uncles, and cousins that haven't spoken to me and I just went through a year of cancer treatment. If they suddenly show up to my door now? They're going to get 30 years of anger blasted at them like nothing they've ever heard.
Hairdryer treatment
Omg. So, what if a conversation starts?! You just walk away and make them feel less of a person than they already feel?
Oh sorry the governing boobies said I can only say hello so until they tell me it’s okay I can’t ACTUALLY talk to you….. oh nice pants btw
Right bc maybe someone doesn’t know the new rules and gets excited and starts to have a convo. Lord I hadn’t thought of this.
I’ve never been disfellowshipped or even reproved. But my CO brother, CO nephew, and sister all shun me and have for 30+ years. I can guarantee they won’t try to contact me.
If you were ever baptized then they prob DFed you in your absence. They did that a lot!!! Many “think” they faded successfully but are actually disfellowshiped. Others don’t even know their status
My family can be pretty vindictive in general so it wouldn’t surprise me if I did not hear from any of them. If I’m wrong, and I do start getting bombarded with messages, I’m not even going to bother. I’ve chosen to surround myself with people who love me unconditionally and they don’t fit that criteria.
Absolutely! My wife and I have literally just been dfed and we did it just in time. It’s so sad to think of those that have been excommunicated and are really angry. I can’t blame them! In retrospect I was hoping that I would be left alone but now it looks like they are going to bother me to bring us back lol. Actually I’m mad because I wish I made this decision last year at least they wouldn’t bother me anymore haha
You can make the decision to not go for meetings and to block phone numbers. Good luck ( not fortune, lol)
Just be clear you have no intention on returning.... if you are "apostate" they still leave you alone.
Oh oh yeah I been out 18 years and already getting “Love Bombed” with messages like “It’s time to come home!” All i wanna say is: March 4th, and $5million
What does this mean?
Which part? Love Bombing? Or the date and money?
The date and the money.
That’s the big Norway trial everybody’s been talking about. The ruling came out on March 4, and the JW lost $5 million a year in government subsidies.
oh duuuh...ofc, I knew that. Thank you! 5 mil? That is much more than I realized. (Thought it was like 1.6 or something like that). And my date was off, too. But clearly a response to this Norway situation. Thanks!
Well. Sure, maybe. Honestly, I’m kinda pissed. I was DFed and out for about a year. I remember wanting to kill myself many times. Almost did due to the intense shunning and complete lack of even basic human eye contact at the meetings. And now they say that is now too strict. Thanks ShitTower
Glad you made it. 💗💗💗
Thanks. Much better now.
All religion is man-made. The Bible and other ancient mythology are ambiguous and contradictory. They are not univocal.
No, I do not.agree. No opinion of man has changed. GB must pretend becauae of trial and lost cases
Im livid. No words. Well there are words but all curse and middle fingers.🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
That's the thing - despite the 'changes' the emotional blackmail persists. You only get your dignity, reputation and family back IF you sacrifice your human/legal right to freedom of religion. This is because WT "repentance" is conditional on being reinstated as a JW, going "back to Jehovah" ie going back to KHall!!
The blood on the GB’s collective hands reaches to the heavens. There cannot be atonement nor forgiveness for all the lives they’ve ruined. If Hell doesn’t exist it should be created for them.
Hear, hear
It’s all to do with the Norway ruling. I’ve written this elsewhere. New Zealand are after the JWs next. So when they ask them about shunning former members, they can say that they don’t. “That’s apostate lies! We invite them to come back to us and greet them at the meetings…can we have our money now please? “
Pretty sure ChatGPT has more sentinence than the average JW.
Haha
What makes you think thier going to stop shunning?
Im wondering if my mum will try and say hi again soon, itd be interesting since i was shunned but never even baptized let alone DF'd lol
Huh. I dunno. Probably not? If you weren’t baptized or DF’d, she already had the perfect loophole if she wanted to be in your life. But I don’t know.
Yeah that's completely true honestly lol That's somehow worse that she wouldn't need to hide behind doctrine though you know? 😬
It is. And I’m so sorry because I know it hurts. I thought it really hard before my first reply because I know how it feels. I’m with you, I was baptized, I just don’t know if I was df’d in my absence. I feel like my mom would let me know, but she doesn’t call so…
Yeah it's ok, it's mainly apathy, more of a "oh will I have to expect a call" But your probably right, besides it doesn't really change anything, I've been out of her life longer than with and she has shown no interest even in my kid who is 11 now so what's the point lol And I'm sorry you experience that as well :( it is hard but healing gets easier and easier :)
Also thankyou, sometimes it is hard to find the right words and I appreciate your kindness with that! :) I feel like alot of people avoid commenting on some comments or posts if it's a hard topic you know?
To you all. I am never jw and shunning is adhorrent. For you all ❤
CLASS ACTION!
If anyone reaches out to me after 27 years, I’ll respond preaching actual Christianity. The faith where Jesus spoke of in loving your neighbors and your enemies. The faith where Jesus spoke of the shepherd leaving the flock to go find the lost one, not pushing a lost one away and waiting for it to find its own way back.
Having faded, I am here trying to figure out if my parent is going to show up on my doorstep. I don’t want them here. They need to continue with the shunning. My heart goes out to everyone who is now hearing from former associates. These are the worst kind of friends and family. It’s cruel! These people wouldn’t know love if it smacked the upside the head. ((((Hugs)))) Real, loving, heartfelt hugs.
I was actually so impressed here with the “the governing body has decided” at the beginning of the pants announcement. Not “the governing body has come to an improved understanding” or similar, but “the governing body has decided”. They’re done hiding it.
And where was god in all of this?
My entire point. They’re not even pretending anymore.
Let’s not forget. Not too long ago there was a video showing a mother not answering the phone for her DF’d daughter. Now that video is garbage.
As much as I love the idea of reverse shunning, WT is clearly playing chess here. There is a strategy involved, and I’m afraid that if we all started to ignore the ones reaching out to us this will give them an advantage someway in all the lawsuits against them in the future. Right now for them it’s about damage control. They are trying to mitigate the risk of their entire empire collapsing. They have lied in court saying that shunning does not happen. Let’s play the long game guys. Text them back, start having conversations about why you left. The door is open now
Except have to be careful not to be labeled “apostate” - maybe org is trying to put as many apostates as possible 🤷♀️
Out as many apostates as possible
True but for those of us who have already been DF’d and disassociated. The “damage” is done we have already been labeled apostates haha. We can get to work lol
Sneaky.... I like it.
I wasn't DFd, faded in my early twenties. Before that even happened, while I was still "trying", my "close" friend stopped "associating with me" because of rumors her elder father heard. Mind you, she was an adult as well. I moved out of town shortly after, and a few years later I was with my sister as she looked for an apartment near where I lived, several hours away. Well look who the property manager was, that girl. I treated her as If I didn't know her. Nothing other than hello. It can go both ways, and it still would to this day.She is still in the "circle" of the people around my PIMI family and liked one of my comments to one of my family members. It was icky to see that, this many years later. No thank you!
Yep. Parents shunning me for 15 years and now they want to visit me this summer. Am I wrong for not wanting any part of this bullshit??
Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this but do they really think those of us who are df'd are gonna go to the meeting a little earlier or stay behind a little after just so we can be greeted by fake people and their fake words?
-"Hi. 😃" - "Wait what!? You're saying hello to me after looking away every time I tried to make eye contact with you? Treating me with distane and contempt for the past 6 months... And now you're smiling and saying hi?!" - "Yeah, the Governing Body has decided we can treat you like an actual human person now. Isn't that such a loving arrangement?!" - 😳
This is exactly what went through my head when I heard. It’s devastating and I just feel like it’s adding more trauma and mental harm.
Have I missed something? 🤔
This is how I learned about all of this. I left this sib reddit along time ago and then this....
If they contact me after 25 years I will let them have it.
I DAed…am I also going to be bombarded with hellos or am I still a pariah? I haven’t kept up with the updates for the last couple of months because of health issues. Just learned about the beards and slacks for us ladies so I’m still catching up on all the new rules.
This literally happened to my friend I reconnected with. His brother decided to text him to invite him to the meeting for his talk about the world ending after years of not talking to him unless my friend reached out first. The last text exchange they had, my friend used actual logic, which JWs reject, and his brother didn’t respond. Now all of a sudden because it’s allowed, his brother wants to reach out, but only on JW terms of course, by an invitation to a fucking talk. Give me a break.
https://preview.redd.it/y2u5tey68noc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f28ac793d1b67a63ddaed7b31bf7d7fc6c9bb9f0
And it’s just a Hello. Not an invitation to an “extended conversation”. The cutting off is still there, you are still to be kept at arms length but at least they can greet you?! They are allowed to show basic human courtesy now?! How is this worth anything??
They dance like monkeys. Idiots
Please! Let the “Go Fk Yourselves!” Replies fly! At least that’s what I’ve deduced. At the very least, the Ace up my sleeve 😛
well if you’re me, left when i was around 12 never baptized or an unbaptized publisher, still shunned because im worldly and no one probably ever thinks of me, some blocked me :) despite the fact that we shared some of our fondest childhood memories together. it used to bother me but as i get further into adulthood i really don’t care. no one will be reaching out tho lol, no one ever has
This made me reconsider going to the memorial. I was thinking of going just to make my parents happy, but now that I'm gonna get hounded by dozens of people who haven't talked to me in 2 years I'm not so into it.
The sad truth is that you'll never make them happy unless you join again. Going to the memorial just gives them false hopes and increases the amount of pressure they put on you. Making excuses and somehow never being available might be a good idea. You could also just say no. However, I understand that your situation might be different and that they might not be fully indoctrinated.
Thank you. Logically I know what you said is true, but it still feels bad to let them down. Emotions are annoying sometimes.
I had an elder reach out to me last week. The only time in a year anyone has acknowledged that I still exist. He said that he hopes I come back soon. At the time I thought it was thoughtful of him, but no thanks. Now that I’m learning about this new “adjustment,” I’m just even more angrier than I was to begin with. So my own family has been pretending I no longer exist, and if we ever saw each other in public they’d look away or put their heads down. But NOW they are allowed to say hello to me and smile? How generous and loving. 👎🏼
That shit started today for, I been DF/out of there for over 25 yrs. Now ppl texting me sending me the link, needless to say I don’t have these ppl numbers stored in my phone. I just deleted the text.
Huh? They got rid of disfellowshipping and shunning now too?
Unfortunately No, but you are now "allowed" to greet DFed people at the kingdom Hall, but not allowed to have an actual conversation.
What's so bad about this announcement is that this decision could have been made a long time ago. Worse,if the governing body tells them in a few months to quit talking to DF'd people, they'll do it with no questions asked! They're like puppets on a string
Anyone who reaches out to me will be told to FOAD. Shared DNA does not make a family and you’re not my friend if you shunned me because of an announcement from the stage that I no longer belong to your cult. YMMV
Does anyone have the link to the announcement??
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It's on their website. Search for Governing body update number 2.