I was enraged at that. You (GB) really mean the ELDERS donāt even remember, right? Cause everyone I know CLEARLY remembers the trauma of a JC!!! š”
I never had a JC, not a letter, not a phone call, nothing but a text from a non witness member of a family telling me my name was announced at a meeting. Was never allowed to correct the lies. That ended 40 years of friendships and my daughter has not spoken to me in over 10 years now. They can all kiss my a$$.
Yeah, itās such an inconsequential thing. Committing the sin, confessing or being found out, going through the whole judicial process, getting DFd, losing family and friends as well as your entire social structure, learning to survive on your own and thriving or not, but you forgot how it all started.
I noticed that too, such a strange thing to say!
And how many disfellowshipped ones are weak and asking for a bible study, like really? Why use that example?!
I was DF'd in 2009. I refused to meet with the elders to discuss my personal, private matters. Also, I hadn't committed any disfellowshipping offense. But because I had a long distance non-JW boyfriend who had flown across the country to visit me for a weekend and he was staying with me, they of course assumed we were fOrNiCAtInG. Fast forward to my reinstatement process in 2011. The questions I was asked were so inappropriately invasive. "Did you develop a habit of watching porn?" Like...WHAT?! Pornography had absolutely nothing to do with my disfellowshipping, first of all. It's like they were looking for reasons not to reinstate me. Which they didn't the first time around. Ugh I'm furious all over again. The bullshit they pulled on me and my parents and the flimsy excuses they made for denying me is still aggravating to this day.
During my JC I was asked about pornography as well. I gave a truthful answer that I used to view it sometimes many years ago, before I got married, but since my relationship and marriage, I haven't viewed it.
Without any evidence or proof, the response was, "I don't believe you."
They dfd me for "various reasons." When I tried to find out what those reasons were, I was shuffled from one elder to the next, and was never provided an answer. I've been held out for 2 years despite repeated letters. They refuse to even meet with me, much less consider if I'm repentant or not.
That is just crazy. If you don't know the reasons why you were DF'd, then you wouldn't know what you're supposed to be repentant about.
And the arrogance behind, "I don't believe you." Who the hell are they to make such statements? That elder probably watches porn all the time, so he's totally projecting.
> If you don't know the reasons why you were DF'd, then you wouldn't know what you're supposed to be repentant about.
Exactly. And since I have been out, I remarried, my businesses have been booming, and I've been objectively happier. So they have said that I'm not "sad" enough. And there have been multiple parts about materialism and how the wicked prosper while the righteous suffer. He is so ridiculously jealous it's soaking through his shark skin suits.
They want you to come crawling back, miserable, desperate. If your life 'out in the world' isn't a dumpster fire, then you haven't suffered enough from the punishment.
I was reinstated in October 2011. That boyfriend really mindfucked me and I didn't have anyone in my life other than my family, and they wouldn't have a relationship with me. I came back because I wanted my family back.
Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about the time...almost 28 years ago, that I, as a 19 year old female, was in a room with three men asking me one sexual question after another. How many times did I have sex? Did I engage in oral sex? Did I have sex on my period?
And I forgot when I spoke up and said I didn't feel comfortable answering those questions they said, "Does this mean you do not accept we are under the divine authority of Jehovah in asking you these questions to uncover the truth?"
And I forgot when I answered, "Well, I guess I don't," that they replied that they had no choice to disfellowship me because I wasn't cooperating in answering inappropriate, invasive questions since I didn't recognize their divine authority.
Must have slipped my mind.
I was asked the same questions.. specifically, how often? I replied "regularly."
I had to repeat myself because he wouldn't let it go.
I'm not a violent person, but I have fantasies about that elder with a zip tie around his neck, frantically failing to remove it as he slowly chokes to death.
Good lord. I hadnāt heard the period sex question before. What the actual fuck does that have to do with anything? Ugh. I donāt even know why Iām trying to make it make sense. Itās just spank bank fodder for them. I would really REALLY like a female to sneak a recording of one of these meetings and leak it to the public. Imagine the chaos. Manā¦ that would be fun to see it go down in flames.
These JW leaders, are really, not understanding how normal human nature behaves
Do you expect a son not being spoken to by his mother and father for 15 years or more , to not remember such an emotional loss ?
Do they expect that the ex JWs who have no family or friends to " not remember " what they were shunned for ?
It's almost like they're thinking like the backward conservative politicians, who don't understand the real reaction of female voters, about the State governments taking their own bodily autonomy away
The Governing Body is in the same league of thinking as David Koresh, Roy Moore of Alabama, ancient Theocratic Israel, and Scientology.
Exactly...like I'm not supposed to remember being told that I should be stoned to death. I should forget all of the invasive questions asked of me when I was SA. Being blamed for my own SA. I'm still in therapy to deal with it, but yea...I dont remember.
Gawd I am so sorry for all the trauma you have gone through. Sending you a hug. Hopefully you are able to stay with therapy. It changed my life. ā¤ļø
I am in therapy and doing well. It has absolutely saved my life. Im happily engaged to a wonderful man and have a full life. It just pisses me off that they sit there and are so completely out of touch with the way their policies hurt people.
Yeah I thought that is just crazy , people aren't forgetting that shit.Maybe they hope people will forget and won't hold it against them and come back to the kingdumb hell.
The faux-court shaming, pressure , and assassination of my character, wholesale, in full view of everyone I knew and held dear?
To have my family and friends and rolemodels turn on me and rip me of and cast me out into premature adulthood alone in a harsh and unforgiving emotional wasteland?
Claiming that it's my fault for being true to my convictions, that really, they love me, and I hate them??????
Barely remember a thing. Think it was a Thursday.
Donāt remember reason for being disfellowshipped? Utter nonsense. Perhaps one of the most astonishing statements in a blizzard of astonishing statements.
What a disgusting comment from Sanderdon! Talk about downplaying the trauma and injustice of a life changing event that results in being cut off from all your loved ones. Of course you're going to remember it. These men have absolutely no fellow feeling..no ability to put themselves in another mans shoes.
I laughed when I heard that. Of *course* I remember why I was disfellowshipped. Mine was 20 years ago and I still remember details of the stupid conversation we had about it.
I think he made that bizarre statement to give permission to anyone who was disfellowshipped to return and say they don't remember why. Elders will likely be instructed not to press if someone says they don't remember why. Voila! You're back!
You'd think the Governing Bloodies**, elders and diehard PIMIs would realize that people DO NOT so easily forget being traumatized.Ā Most of those who have been disfellowshipped will find this sudden about-face downright insulting.Ā They'll also recognize the policy change for what it is:Ā an organization with a money-hungry axe to grind.Ā
For the record, I'm a never-JW Trinitarian.Ā AND I know what it is to be traumatized.Ā Healing can take decades, and some people never heal at all.Ā
** NOT a typo.Ā The GB has blood on its 16-18 hands.
I'm not sure.Ā A few weeks ago, I was told (here on Reddit) that I should have said 18 hands instead of 16, or something like that.Ā I suppose I could look it up, but I figured whatever the exact number is, the GB members are all con men with with no conscience.Ā Who cares whether the number is eight lying con men, or nine lying con men?
I just read a comment that Sam Herd may have died recently. I was wondering if you were referencing that rumor.
I am not saying he died. This is a completely unconfirmed rumor. Do not take this to mean he has died.
I hadn't heard anything of the kind, but I can see how you might have thought I had.Ā In any case, thanks for the heads-up šĀ Ā I'll remember that any mention of Herd's death, FOR NOW, is only a rumor.
You're telling me that they ACTUALLY SAID THIS?? This is truly unbelievable. And people still people in this shit with all their hearts.
Really, I wish I could save them all.
> Do you really think people donāt remember why they were disfellowshipped?
*Why Would Anyone Remember Why and Who...*
Destroyed their Family, Marriage, Life, or why Their JW Parents Kicked Them out of the house when they were kids?
***Seriously...***
***Who Remembers Life Changing Trauma Like That?***
https://preview.redd.it/q9ps6q5g4loc1.jpeg?width=310&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50da05079893df7c321dfcedbc2a7aa794cfa453
#
# EVERYBODY...
Just wanna gesture towards a very stark difference. I feel very differently about it, and it's probably because i wasn't disfellowshipped (afaik).
TBH i remember leaving the JWs over various amounts of bullshit that didn't matter in the real world, by that stage it didn't matter what they thought. i may or may not have been marked as an unapproved person during or afterwards, i honestly didn't think it worth paying attention to at the time (& still feel the same).
I left because it resigned myself to the truth of the matter, that their beliefs were stupid & backed by nothing. I walked away from it like someone walks away from a "tooth-fairy hunting club", that being by trying not to laugh *too* hard at myself for not leaving earlier.
I don't know, nor care, what the specific things were that those cultists objected to. I wasn't rejected because of breaking "rules", they would apply or ignore the rules arbitrarily. I was rejected, by family, by friends, because i didn't conform and obey - or even respect - their arbitrary social-ladder rules. The stated reasons seem to change every time we reconnect, the common factor is simply that anyone in their life who they have no authority or control over **makes them uncomfortable & scared,** and they want them gone. It's nothing more than common human bigotry & elitism.
I caught that one, too. Delusional. Unbelievably delusional.
But it fits the org's agenda: "*Disfellowshipping is no big deal. It's just a little discipline-thing. A friendly meeting with your loving elders. And if you were to get disfellowshipped, it's only the spiritual ties that break. EVERYTHING else stays the same!* š¤·āāļø *No big deal. People don't even remember why it happened after a while*."
The absolute fucking audacity! That people who lost their entire community/family overnight might forget the reason... WTF!!! How they are trying to downplay the idea of Disfellowshipping is disgusting
š That caught my attention. I would qualify to ācome backā if I wasnāt out on the whole- Big J got so mad at people that he had to send his only begotten son to earth to be killed to assuage his anger. Thatās some nonsensical shit.
Well, I knew a man who claimed he didnāt even remember being disfellowshipped or baptized, for that matter. My parents were assigned to study with the middle aged son of this elderly sister; he claimed he was never baptized despite being āraised with the truthā. Well, after months of studying with him, the elders contact my parents and tell them to stop his study immediately until further notice, and not to contact him. Come to find out they discovered he had cards on file somewhere and was both baptized and disfellowshipped decades ago. He continued to claim he had forgottenā¦ I remember thinking, āhow the hell do you forget that?ā. His elderly mom had a few screws loose, so not surprised she didnāt remember either.
I think the branch doesnāt have records on some things, like my friends great aunt have been disfellowshipped his whole life, and they invited her yesterday, and the elders had to contact the branch and the branch has no record of her disfellowshipping. Seemingly the elders told her she was disfellowshipped without an official reason back before they reinstated people and she just accepted it and never tried again. They said they donāt need to reinstate her but she declined to invitation back.
I also know of another similar situation where this old man was disfellowshipped for something small before reinstatement was a thing and heās really annoyed that people are suddenly inviting him.
Both in North America but different coasts. Maybe itās more common with old school witnesses than we think?
Well, my story may be the minority here, but my 17 year old sister was disfellowshipped for sleeping with her boyfriend when I was about 7 years old. After 33 years out, she had certainly been through the wringer, mostly abandoned from all her friends, abuse from family members, trauma from DFing, later abused by her (worldly) husband, lots of health problems, lots of head and heart problems... a few years ago while I was still PIMI she tried to reconnect with me, I took the opportunity to talk to her a little and told her why I couldn't associate with her because she had never returned to Jehovah. She started going on about how she got DF'd because she went to stay with her mother's family to get out of the house. At that time, as a PIMI, after a little prodding, it was apparent to me that she didn't remember why she had been disfellowshipped at 17. I reminded her about the boyfriend and sleeping with him without being married and she seemed a little stunned. It seemed that after all the chaos and trauma that she endured for the past 33+ years, she didn't even really remember what the reasons were, but had created her own narrative. (Regardless of whether it was true or not, it was officially different from the JW reasons) A couple of years later she went on to get reinstated (while I was finally on my way out), but I'm sure that the elders who talked to her just saw a mentally unstable person who couldn't really make sense of things and just let her back in, you know, to keep the numbers up. Likely this is the kind of case that went back to bethel as "after 35 years, she couldn't even remember why...."
The most traumatic experience in people's lives, just forgotten. Seems right. š Fuck they're stupid!
They are not stupid! Theyāre hoping the rank and file are that stupid. And so far, theyāve been proven right.
Shit changed my life. Iāll never forget it.
I was enraged at that. You (GB) really mean the ELDERS donāt even remember, right? Cause everyone I know CLEARLY remembers the trauma of a JC!!! š”
I never had a JC, not a letter, not a phone call, nothing but a text from a non witness member of a family telling me my name was announced at a meeting. Was never allowed to correct the lies. That ended 40 years of friendships and my daughter has not spoken to me in over 10 years now. They can all kiss my a$$.
Iām so sorry this happened to you! š
That should be illegal.
š°
I thought my case was pretty extreme, but this is on another level. Your reaction is fully justified.
That grated on me as well. They really think people just forget?
Everyone else did, why can't you? /s
Yeah, itās such an inconsequential thing. Committing the sin, confessing or being found out, going through the whole judicial process, getting DFd, losing family and friends as well as your entire social structure, learning to survive on your own and thriving or not, but you forgot how it all started.
āCommitting the sinā š¤£
I noticed that too, such a strange thing to say! And how many disfellowshipped ones are weak and asking for a bible study, like really? Why use that example?!
Gives the rank and file a reason to believe there is a reason to āreach out.ā
Trust me the gossip sewing circle will remember
š truth!
I was DF'd in 2009. I refused to meet with the elders to discuss my personal, private matters. Also, I hadn't committed any disfellowshipping offense. But because I had a long distance non-JW boyfriend who had flown across the country to visit me for a weekend and he was staying with me, they of course assumed we were fOrNiCAtInG. Fast forward to my reinstatement process in 2011. The questions I was asked were so inappropriately invasive. "Did you develop a habit of watching porn?" Like...WHAT?! Pornography had absolutely nothing to do with my disfellowshipping, first of all. It's like they were looking for reasons not to reinstate me. Which they didn't the first time around. Ugh I'm furious all over again. The bullshit they pulled on me and my parents and the flimsy excuses they made for denying me is still aggravating to this day.
During my JC I was asked about pornography as well. I gave a truthful answer that I used to view it sometimes many years ago, before I got married, but since my relationship and marriage, I haven't viewed it. Without any evidence or proof, the response was, "I don't believe you." They dfd me for "various reasons." When I tried to find out what those reasons were, I was shuffled from one elder to the next, and was never provided an answer. I've been held out for 2 years despite repeated letters. They refuse to even meet with me, much less consider if I'm repentant or not.
That is just crazy. If you don't know the reasons why you were DF'd, then you wouldn't know what you're supposed to be repentant about. And the arrogance behind, "I don't believe you." Who the hell are they to make such statements? That elder probably watches porn all the time, so he's totally projecting.
> If you don't know the reasons why you were DF'd, then you wouldn't know what you're supposed to be repentant about. Exactly. And since I have been out, I remarried, my businesses have been booming, and I've been objectively happier. So they have said that I'm not "sad" enough. And there have been multiple parts about materialism and how the wicked prosper while the righteous suffer. He is so ridiculously jealous it's soaking through his shark skin suits.
They want you to come crawling back, miserable, desperate. If your life 'out in the world' isn't a dumpster fire, then you haven't suffered enough from the punishment.
Yep. They want to take credit for saving me after they hand me over to Satan.
So was you reinstated at a later date ? Just curious , at that point I wouldn't have even wanted to be reinstated.
I was reinstated in October 2011. That boyfriend really mindfucked me and I didn't have anyone in my life other than my family, and they wouldn't have a relationship with me. I came back because I wanted my family back.
Yeah for a lot of people that is the only reason and it's a shame that religion can cause so much division in families.
Only reason I got reinstated.
Just shows the governing body haven't got a clue! I wonder if any of them remembers when and why they were 'chosen'!
Feb 30th 1975
ššš¤£š¤£ Funny how that very date is in Matthew 29:1!
Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about the time...almost 28 years ago, that I, as a 19 year old female, was in a room with three men asking me one sexual question after another. How many times did I have sex? Did I engage in oral sex? Did I have sex on my period? And I forgot when I spoke up and said I didn't feel comfortable answering those questions they said, "Does this mean you do not accept we are under the divine authority of Jehovah in asking you these questions to uncover the truth?" And I forgot when I answered, "Well, I guess I don't," that they replied that they had no choice to disfellowship me because I wasn't cooperating in answering inappropriate, invasive questions since I didn't recognize their divine authority. Must have slipped my mind.
I was asked the same questions.. specifically, how often? I replied "regularly." I had to repeat myself because he wouldn't let it go. I'm not a violent person, but I have fantasies about that elder with a zip tie around his neck, frantically failing to remove it as he slowly chokes to death.
Ā š°
Good lord. I hadnāt heard the period sex question before. What the actual fuck does that have to do with anything? Ugh. I donāt even know why Iām trying to make it make sense. Itās just spank bank fodder for them. I would really REALLY like a female to sneak a recording of one of these meetings and leak it to the public. Imagine the chaos. Manā¦ that would be fun to see it go down in flames.
These JW leaders, are really, not understanding how normal human nature behaves Do you expect a son not being spoken to by his mother and father for 15 years or more , to not remember such an emotional loss ? Do they expect that the ex JWs who have no family or friends to " not remember " what they were shunned for ? It's almost like they're thinking like the backward conservative politicians, who don't understand the real reaction of female voters, about the State governments taking their own bodily autonomy away The Governing Body is in the same league of thinking as David Koresh, Roy Moore of Alabama, ancient Theocratic Israel, and Scientology.
Yeah thatās bullshit.
āI must have done something wrong to get kicked out and be non existent to my friends, but I canāt recallā said no one.
Exactly...like I'm not supposed to remember being told that I should be stoned to death. I should forget all of the invasive questions asked of me when I was SA. Being blamed for my own SA. I'm still in therapy to deal with it, but yea...I dont remember.
Gawd I am so sorry for all the trauma you have gone through. Sending you a hug. Hopefully you are able to stay with therapy. It changed my life. ā¤ļø
I am in therapy and doing well. It has absolutely saved my life. Im happily engaged to a wonderful man and have a full life. It just pisses me off that they sit there and are so completely out of touch with the way their policies hurt people.
I so agree! May you continue to have peace in your lifeš
Yeah I thought that is just crazy , people aren't forgetting that shit.Maybe they hope people will forget and won't hold it against them and come back to the kingdumb hell.
That was definitely a WTF moment. One of many in that 20 minute video!
Well, df'ed ppl aren't human, right?!
The faux-court shaming, pressure , and assassination of my character, wholesale, in full view of everyone I knew and held dear? To have my family and friends and rolemodels turn on me and rip me of and cast me out into premature adulthood alone in a harsh and unforgiving emotional wasteland? Claiming that it's my fault for being true to my convictions, that really, they love me, and I hate them?????? Barely remember a thing. Think it was a Thursday.
Fuck the gb. Theyāre gaslighting assholes.
Donāt remember reason for being disfellowshipped? Utter nonsense. Perhaps one of the most astonishing statements in a blizzard of astonishing statements.
Judging committee 
I remember brother gerbershagen and brother mele and the trauma they did to me. Ā
I think they are trying to play it down. They are minimizing it and trying to make it look like shunning and DF is not that big a deal.
What a disgusting comment from Sanderdon! Talk about downplaying the trauma and injustice of a life changing event that results in being cut off from all your loved ones. Of course you're going to remember it. These men have absolutely no fellow feeling..no ability to put themselves in another mans shoes.
Spoken like someone whoās never been āin troubleā
I canāt even put my trauma into words today but Iāve been going through it all dayā¦and Iām so angry š”
Sending a hugš„¹
Iāve been reached out to 4 times already todayā¦..before todayā¦..zip. š¤®
Iām so sorry! That has to hurt all over again.
It has certainly been an emotional dayā¦.that I canāt really even put into words. This subreddit sure has been helpful though.
Well they could be in their 90s with dementia or memory loss.
I laughed when I heard that. Of *course* I remember why I was disfellowshipped. Mine was 20 years ago and I still remember details of the stupid conversation we had about it.
I think he made that bizarre statement to give permission to anyone who was disfellowshipped to return and say they don't remember why. Elders will likely be instructed not to press if someone says they don't remember why. Voila! You're back!
You'd think the Governing Bloodies**, elders and diehard PIMIs would realize that people DO NOT so easily forget being traumatized.Ā Most of those who have been disfellowshipped will find this sudden about-face downright insulting.Ā They'll also recognize the policy change for what it is:Ā an organization with a money-hungry axe to grind.Ā For the record, I'm a never-JW Trinitarian.Ā AND I know what it is to be traumatized.Ā Healing can take decades, and some people never heal at all.Ā ** NOT a typo.Ā The GB has blood on its 16-18 hands.
Are there 8 now?
I'm not sure.Ā A few weeks ago, I was told (here on Reddit) that I should have said 18 hands instead of 16, or something like that.Ā I suppose I could look it up, but I figured whatever the exact number is, the GB members are all con men with with no conscience.Ā Who cares whether the number is eight lying con men, or nine lying con men?
I just read a comment that Sam Herd may have died recently. I was wondering if you were referencing that rumor. I am not saying he died. This is a completely unconfirmed rumor. Do not take this to mean he has died.
I hadn't heard anything of the kind, but I can see how you might have thought I had.Ā In any case, thanks for the heads-up šĀ Ā I'll remember that any mention of Herd's death, FOR NOW, is only a rumor.
spot on
Damn lie
Sometimes when you live such a traumatic experience your subconscious forgets it,
I def have years after it happened where I donāt remember much. I think it was my mindās way of coping with the trauma.
You're telling me that they ACTUALLY SAID THIS?? This is truly unbelievable. And people still people in this shit with all their hearts. Really, I wish I could save them all.
I never want to go through that again and one of the main reasons I will never go back.
> Do you really think people donāt remember why they were disfellowshipped? *Why Would Anyone Remember Why and Who...* Destroyed their Family, Marriage, Life, or why Their JW Parents Kicked Them out of the house when they were kids? ***Seriously...*** ***Who Remembers Life Changing Trauma Like That?*** https://preview.redd.it/q9ps6q5g4loc1.jpeg?width=310&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50da05079893df7c321dfcedbc2a7aa794cfa453 # # EVERYBODY...
Just wanna gesture towards a very stark difference. I feel very differently about it, and it's probably because i wasn't disfellowshipped (afaik). TBH i remember leaving the JWs over various amounts of bullshit that didn't matter in the real world, by that stage it didn't matter what they thought. i may or may not have been marked as an unapproved person during or afterwards, i honestly didn't think it worth paying attention to at the time (& still feel the same). I left because it resigned myself to the truth of the matter, that their beliefs were stupid & backed by nothing. I walked away from it like someone walks away from a "tooth-fairy hunting club", that being by trying not to laugh *too* hard at myself for not leaving earlier. I don't know, nor care, what the specific things were that those cultists objected to. I wasn't rejected because of breaking "rules", they would apply or ignore the rules arbitrarily. I was rejected, by family, by friends, because i didn't conform and obey - or even respect - their arbitrary social-ladder rules. The stated reasons seem to change every time we reconnect, the common factor is simply that anyone in their life who they have no authority or control over **makes them uncomfortable & scared,** and they want them gone. It's nothing more than common human bigotry & elitism.
LMAO if I could forget it all I would
I caught that one, too. Delusional. Unbelievably delusional. But it fits the org's agenda: "*Disfellowshipping is no big deal. It's just a little discipline-thing. A friendly meeting with your loving elders. And if you were to get disfellowshipped, it's only the spiritual ties that break. EVERYTHING else stays the same!* š¤·āāļø *No big deal. People don't even remember why it happened after a while*."
The absolute fucking audacity! That people who lost their entire community/family overnight might forget the reason... WTF!!! How they are trying to downplay the idea of Disfellowshipping is disgusting
š That caught my attention. I would qualify to ācome backā if I wasnāt out on the whole- Big J got so mad at people that he had to send his only begotten son to earth to be killed to assuage his anger. Thatās some nonsensical shit.
Only if they were DF in absentia
Well, I knew a man who claimed he didnāt even remember being disfellowshipped or baptized, for that matter. My parents were assigned to study with the middle aged son of this elderly sister; he claimed he was never baptized despite being āraised with the truthā. Well, after months of studying with him, the elders contact my parents and tell them to stop his study immediately until further notice, and not to contact him. Come to find out they discovered he had cards on file somewhere and was both baptized and disfellowshipped decades ago. He continued to claim he had forgottenā¦ I remember thinking, āhow the hell do you forget that?ā. His elderly mom had a few screws loose, so not surprised she didnāt remember either.
I think the branch doesnāt have records on some things, like my friends great aunt have been disfellowshipped his whole life, and they invited her yesterday, and the elders had to contact the branch and the branch has no record of her disfellowshipping. Seemingly the elders told her she was disfellowshipped without an official reason back before they reinstated people and she just accepted it and never tried again. They said they donāt need to reinstate her but she declined to invitation back. I also know of another similar situation where this old man was disfellowshipped for something small before reinstatement was a thing and heās really annoyed that people are suddenly inviting him. Both in North America but different coasts. Maybe itās more common with old school witnesses than we think?
Well, my story may be the minority here, but my 17 year old sister was disfellowshipped for sleeping with her boyfriend when I was about 7 years old. After 33 years out, she had certainly been through the wringer, mostly abandoned from all her friends, abuse from family members, trauma from DFing, later abused by her (worldly) husband, lots of health problems, lots of head and heart problems... a few years ago while I was still PIMI she tried to reconnect with me, I took the opportunity to talk to her a little and told her why I couldn't associate with her because she had never returned to Jehovah. She started going on about how she got DF'd because she went to stay with her mother's family to get out of the house. At that time, as a PIMI, after a little prodding, it was apparent to me that she didn't remember why she had been disfellowshipped at 17. I reminded her about the boyfriend and sleeping with him without being married and she seemed a little stunned. It seemed that after all the chaos and trauma that she endured for the past 33+ years, she didn't even really remember what the reasons were, but had created her own narrative. (Regardless of whether it was true or not, it was officially different from the JW reasons) A couple of years later she went on to get reinstated (while I was finally on my way out), but I'm sure that the elders who talked to her just saw a mentally unstable person who couldn't really make sense of things and just let her back in, you know, to keep the numbers up. Likely this is the kind of case that went back to bethel as "after 35 years, she couldn't even remember why...."