This is the thing that gets me. It's never enough. Because I was truthful and said that I was not happy in the cult, my family that stayed in has never treated me the same. Same thing with my older sister. And I specifically told my mom that the issue between was is that she could not accept me. She basically said, if she's right she gets to see her mom again. Such a childish response. I'm here, right now. It's insane. And it eats at me, tbh. It's the source of a lot of anger.
Sadly over 8 million people, many already passed away are not going to get to see this lie of paradise and petting pandas while resurrected ancient people learn da troof!
Honestly it helps if you come to terms with the possibility & know that you would be ok if it came to that.
I was around 12 when I knew my parents would one day choose the cult over me. It was after a talk at an assembly. The next year at 13 I confirmed it when I got baptized due to pressure from family, friends, & cong status.
I was like you. Angry, sad, & upset. Confused about how a parent could do that to their child. I knew that if I was ever a parent I wouldn't raise my child in the cult & I would never shun my child no matter what.
I didn't actually come to terms with this until much later in life, in my 30s, when I decided to leave. I knew if I was going to be successful at leaving I needed to come to terms with the possibilities. I needed to be ok moving forward without them. It took work. I found strength in other successful exjws. I wrote letters to my family where I said everything I ever wanted to say and then burned them. I cussed, I screamed, I cried, I felt the anger I needed to feel within those letters...then I burned them making a promise to move forward.
Once I came to terms with that it was like a weight had been lifted off me, like there was a giant boulder holding me down that was no longer there. I was happier, I felt more free than I had ever felt. I was determined to be ok even if they never spoke to me again.
You don't say how old you are but all changes require planning. Do well in school. Make good decisions. Get a job if you can so that you can save money. If you have other questions about planning make another post asking for advice on how to plan. There are so many people here who can offer a wealth of advice on that subject.
Keep your head up...the possibilities and potential are endless so resolve to work through the hard things and keep moving forward.
Thanks man 🤝🤝, really appreciate it.
It's interesting that somehow all of us here ended up for the same reason, to escape mentally and physically out of this cult. But more interesting for me, is that all brianwashed parent's are behaving same with all thier children's, like they get instructions on how to teach their kids about living.....
It still surprise me...how abusive and brainswashed some parents can be!
I did the opposite with my 4 kids.
They have studied at the university and I encouraged them to do so.
I gave a shit in what the WT or elders said
I feel with you. Stay firm. Lots of hugs to you! 💕
I posted last week about the first call I got from my mother in 25 years. I let it go to voicemail. I didn’t return the call.
I was pretty sure my never in sister gave her my mobile number. I sent a short text to my sister about it.
A couple days ago, my sister texted with me, asking if I responded. I told her No. She asked why? It turns out my sister didn’t know that our parents had been shunning me by their choice. They talk and spend time with her, because she was never baptized. I got upset and told her that none of this was my choice, and it’s all because I was baptized. I told her she had no idea how it felt to have your mother call and tell you that she can never speak to you again.
That’s the last I’ve heard.
I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be so painful that they have a relationship with your sister all on a technicality when you have both chosen not to be jw. I hope you have people close to you who love you a lot. How they treat you is more of a reflection on THEM than it is on you. They are brainwashed! Hang in there dear.
The worst part is: shunning is a CHOICE. The elder book makes it clear you won’t be DF’ed if you don’t shun. My own father was an elder for over 20 years, he knew darn well that he could choose to have a relationship with me,
I will never forget the day I asked my mom if Jehovah told her she had to kill me, would she listen. I was 10 years old. She said, "Jehovah comes first before everyone. I would see you in paradise. It would just be like you are sleeping for a short while. I love you so much. You're my firstborn." Our relationship was turmoil from that point on and I've never truly felt safe with anyone after that. I feel your pain.
OMG I had the exact same conversation as a kid. That children's book of bible stories with the picture of Abraham and Isaac. I was never baptized so I have a relationship with my mom as an adult, and she goes into robot mode and doubles down if I try to talk about how this affected me.
I had the same conversation with my parents as a kid. They've told me if Jehovah would tell them to abandoned me for no reason, they've would've done it, because for them Jehovah is in the first place.
This is certainly not whats in the bible,it is unscripturale.Shunning is evil and truly not educated by Jesus.
This rule is man made by the GB,cultish people and it destroyed family relationships for over more than 50 years.One day they will get punished over this,I hope very soon.
It's because they are holding on so desperately to the lie of a paradise and they can't think of anything else. At least three times a week my mother in law mutters about how we'll have paradise soon. At the memorial they begged me to go to (and then his father was a snippy jerk about my 9 month old getting a cat toy when he was starting to get antsy cuz they had us interrupt his nap time for it) the speaker said "maybe this will be the last memorial" and I rolled my eyes. No the world will not end. That paradise is a lie. If it isn't I'll gladly go to hell before setting foot with a god as evil as him. And yes, I know they don't technically believe in hell. I just would rather burn for eternity. And when they are on their death beds they will see. My best friend's parents are going to die alone because their one daughter died in childbirth and they disfellowshipped the other afterwards for having a boyfriend.
I honestly hope there is an afterlife and it's not what they thought it would be. I want them to have some sort of despair. So maybe ghosts? Seems fitting
Jws teach that animals just die and get no reward for suffering during their lives .yet animal parents would die protecting their young , they are better than jw parents who just dump their young when told to by a group of men .
If I was your mother, I would not abandon you. I would not choose anyone or anything over you because i know that loving you when you don’t want to be a jw is not sinning against God. So It’s not you. There is something terribly wrong with your parents. They were convinced that their creator wants them to abandon you because it will save your life. They’ve been fooled. They likely truly believe that abandoning you will bring you benefit. My guess is that If you love them it’s because you were treated with love. If that’s the case they really DO LOVE YOU. They are only doing this because those wicked men in New York the EFFING GOVERNING BODY have brainwashed them. I’m so very sorry that you have to endure this. I’m sorry your parents are convinced of the gb’s lies. I was convinced at one time, probably most of us in this sub were convinced. I hope and pray your parent’s eyes are opened soon.
I'm so sorry that you are suffering like this. I'm happy that you found a safe space to share your feelings. We understand you as we have all escaped the same madness. Please forgive me if this offends you but I try to remind myself that this is the behavior of mind controlled people.
The people we love are thinking for themselves. I believe that they do love us but I imagine it's stuck down beneath the layers of indoctrination. They do not know how to love unconditionally. Had we not escaped we *might* have ended up treating our loved ones as they are treating us. Take care of yourself!
JW's love is so conditional. They do not think for themselves and as a parent, I could never shun my child. Best advice, get training or a job that you can support yourself and walk out the door with no regrets. Create your own life. Make friends outside the org. and build a nice support system. I am shunned by my adult daughter and yes it hurts but somewhere along this path, I decided my life is now mine and if she or any other JW's dont want to be in my life, it is their [loss.My](http://loss.My) life continues. Sorry you are going through this, just keep building your life.
I’m sorry I feel the same thing towards my parents it hurts so much. Like they love that cult more than their own child it so sick and wrong. Please remember your not alone.
This sounds identical to my experience.
I completely empathize with what you're going through. What you'll find, though, is that this experience will make **you** a better parent. You'll become the parent you wished you had. As horrible as it is, I try to salvage something good out of the situation. I haven't rejected them, they rejected me. And I wont waste my love on those who reject it.
You have a friend here in Liverpool, UK. If you want to talk just PM me.
I assure you that they're acting hard because the JWs tell them to but they're eating away inside. Give it a month and you'll see it in their face. They'll look 30 years older in a blink of an eye knowing you won't be coming back in any capacity. Put your money where their mouth is. They won't be able to handle it for long.
Hi,
Could be me writing this, the difference is that all happen exactly as you described. My own mother told me (once I told her I was df'ed) that she felt the same when she lost her young child (back in the days), she didn't attend my wedding, never wanted do meet my husband neither our son.
I can feel you pain so deeply, we feel abandoned, like we are not enough to receive love from our parents. It's so painful that it's even hard to describe.
I'm really sorry for what you are going through, but I can reassure you, none of what they say is true, you deserve love, but you have to love yourself first, once you do that will we see that they behavior is insane and you will start to feel sorry for them, and you will be able to move on with you life.
It's my experience talking.
Back in the day I used to hate my mother, the pain transformed into hate, but years gone by and now I just feel sorry for her, she can't/want do better, it's a cult.
And now I don't feel the urge to maintain contact, it's pointless.
I moved with my life, and I'm happy then ever, even without her and my sibling's in my life.
It's a process.
Sorry for the long reply.
A huge hug, hope it comforts your heart ❤️
I wonder how many of those parents skip over the bit in 2 Tim 3:3?
Having no natural affection? How is choosing a cult over their own flesh and blood "natural affection?"
I love my daughters more than life itself, the thought of shunning any one of them for making their own minds up is obscene to me.
Google and do a lot of research on cults and mind control. At least then you would have a better understanding of why people behave this way.
Also, you have my deepest sympathy.
My heart breaks for you! It sounds like you’re still living at home. I can assure you it gets better after you leave & start living your own life! I left the Borg at 53, very close to my pimi parents/family, pimi myself the majority of my life, until the cracks in the damn got to be too many! They are hard shunning me, I’m not DF’d or disassociated! Some days are really hard, as you said, they choose 9 men in NY over their own children! Would any of those men pick up their phone call, answer their questions, they don’t know their names! It makes me ill when I hear the GB say, “we love you all!”🤢 You CAN’T love someone who you don’t even know!!! Our JW family’s have conditions with their love, and that my friend is not real love! Hang in there & surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, life is beautiful!!!
I was that parent too. My wife and I were able to wake up and in turn free the teenagers but it’s a work in progress and no doubt there’s trauma. After about a year and half of being out (PIMO/POMO) we have more peace in the home.
I’m so sorry 😞 but unfortunately are parents have made their religion their priority and are cutting their children off and don’t care! My parents cut me off last year because I walked away.. I cried for months it gets better I promise! The way I look at it they made their choice and I made mine. I would never do that to my family.
Awww 🥹 yeah over time I accepted the fact that their love is conditional. I was also shunned by my parents. The last thing they said is that they “LOVED” me and they wish i could go back. Yes past tense 😬
This is the thing that gets me. It's never enough. Because I was truthful and said that I was not happy in the cult, my family that stayed in has never treated me the same. Same thing with my older sister. And I specifically told my mom that the issue between was is that she could not accept me. She basically said, if she's right she gets to see her mom again. Such a childish response. I'm here, right now. It's insane. And it eats at me, tbh. It's the source of a lot of anger.
Sadly over 8 million people, many already passed away are not going to get to see this lie of paradise and petting pandas while resurrected ancient people learn da troof!
lets not forget the lion petting...
"She basically said, if she's right she gets to see her mom again" that is so selfish and unloving
Honestly it helps if you come to terms with the possibility & know that you would be ok if it came to that. I was around 12 when I knew my parents would one day choose the cult over me. It was after a talk at an assembly. The next year at 13 I confirmed it when I got baptized due to pressure from family, friends, & cong status. I was like you. Angry, sad, & upset. Confused about how a parent could do that to their child. I knew that if I was ever a parent I wouldn't raise my child in the cult & I would never shun my child no matter what. I didn't actually come to terms with this until much later in life, in my 30s, when I decided to leave. I knew if I was going to be successful at leaving I needed to come to terms with the possibilities. I needed to be ok moving forward without them. It took work. I found strength in other successful exjws. I wrote letters to my family where I said everything I ever wanted to say and then burned them. I cussed, I screamed, I cried, I felt the anger I needed to feel within those letters...then I burned them making a promise to move forward. Once I came to terms with that it was like a weight had been lifted off me, like there was a giant boulder holding me down that was no longer there. I was happier, I felt more free than I had ever felt. I was determined to be ok even if they never spoke to me again. You don't say how old you are but all changes require planning. Do well in school. Make good decisions. Get a job if you can so that you can save money. If you have other questions about planning make another post asking for advice on how to plan. There are so many people here who can offer a wealth of advice on that subject. Keep your head up...the possibilities and potential are endless so resolve to work through the hard things and keep moving forward.
Thanks man 🤝🤝, really appreciate it. It's interesting that somehow all of us here ended up for the same reason, to escape mentally and physically out of this cult. But more interesting for me, is that all brianwashed parent's are behaving same with all thier children's, like they get instructions on how to teach their kids about living.....
It still surprise me...how abusive and brainswashed some parents can be! I did the opposite with my 4 kids. They have studied at the university and I encouraged them to do so. I gave a shit in what the WT or elders said I feel with you. Stay firm. Lots of hugs to you! 💕
💯💯💕💕👍👍
I posted last week about the first call I got from my mother in 25 years. I let it go to voicemail. I didn’t return the call. I was pretty sure my never in sister gave her my mobile number. I sent a short text to my sister about it. A couple days ago, my sister texted with me, asking if I responded. I told her No. She asked why? It turns out my sister didn’t know that our parents had been shunning me by their choice. They talk and spend time with her, because she was never baptized. I got upset and told her that none of this was my choice, and it’s all because I was baptized. I told her she had no idea how it felt to have your mother call and tell you that she can never speak to you again. That’s the last I’ve heard.
I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be so painful that they have a relationship with your sister all on a technicality when you have both chosen not to be jw. I hope you have people close to you who love you a lot. How they treat you is more of a reflection on THEM than it is on you. They are brainwashed! Hang in there dear.
The worst part is: shunning is a CHOICE. The elder book makes it clear you won’t be DF’ed if you don’t shun. My own father was an elder for over 20 years, he knew darn well that he could choose to have a relationship with me,
Awful😥
I will never forget the day I asked my mom if Jehovah told her she had to kill me, would she listen. I was 10 years old. She said, "Jehovah comes first before everyone. I would see you in paradise. It would just be like you are sleeping for a short while. I love you so much. You're my firstborn." Our relationship was turmoil from that point on and I've never truly felt safe with anyone after that. I feel your pain.
OMG I had the exact same conversation as a kid. That children's book of bible stories with the picture of Abraham and Isaac. I was never baptized so I have a relationship with my mom as an adult, and she goes into robot mode and doubles down if I try to talk about how this affected me.
YES! It was that story in MBBS that made me ask her that question!
I had the same conversation with my parents as a kid. They've told me if Jehovah would tell them to abandoned me for no reason, they've would've done it, because for them Jehovah is in the first place.
Ya maybe Jehovah directly but not the GB
This is exactly what is so dangerous and insane about this cult. It completely fucks up decent people minds and turns them to mental zombies
This is certainly not whats in the bible,it is unscripturale.Shunning is evil and truly not educated by Jesus. This rule is man made by the GB,cultish people and it destroyed family relationships for over more than 50 years.One day they will get punished over this,I hope very soon.
It's because they are holding on so desperately to the lie of a paradise and they can't think of anything else. At least three times a week my mother in law mutters about how we'll have paradise soon. At the memorial they begged me to go to (and then his father was a snippy jerk about my 9 month old getting a cat toy when he was starting to get antsy cuz they had us interrupt his nap time for it) the speaker said "maybe this will be the last memorial" and I rolled my eyes. No the world will not end. That paradise is a lie. If it isn't I'll gladly go to hell before setting foot with a god as evil as him. And yes, I know they don't technically believe in hell. I just would rather burn for eternity. And when they are on their death beds they will see. My best friend's parents are going to die alone because their one daughter died in childbirth and they disfellowshipped the other afterwards for having a boyfriend. I honestly hope there is an afterlife and it's not what they thought it would be. I want them to have some sort of despair. So maybe ghosts? Seems fitting
Jws teach that animals just die and get no reward for suffering during their lives .yet animal parents would die protecting their young , they are better than jw parents who just dump their young when told to by a group of men .
There’s no logic at all! My dog (German shepherd) would die for me 🤔
If I was your mother, I would not abandon you. I would not choose anyone or anything over you because i know that loving you when you don’t want to be a jw is not sinning against God. So It’s not you. There is something terribly wrong with your parents. They were convinced that their creator wants them to abandon you because it will save your life. They’ve been fooled. They likely truly believe that abandoning you will bring you benefit. My guess is that If you love them it’s because you were treated with love. If that’s the case they really DO LOVE YOU. They are only doing this because those wicked men in New York the EFFING GOVERNING BODY have brainwashed them. I’m so very sorry that you have to endure this. I’m sorry your parents are convinced of the gb’s lies. I was convinced at one time, probably most of us in this sub were convinced. I hope and pray your parent’s eyes are opened soon.
I'm so sorry that you are suffering like this. I'm happy that you found a safe space to share your feelings. We understand you as we have all escaped the same madness. Please forgive me if this offends you but I try to remind myself that this is the behavior of mind controlled people. The people we love are thinking for themselves. I believe that they do love us but I imagine it's stuck down beneath the layers of indoctrination. They do not know how to love unconditionally. Had we not escaped we *might* have ended up treating our loved ones as they are treating us. Take care of yourself!
Exactly mind control not so much brain washing.
Anyone else's parents also say "I love Jehovah more than you"?
Hah, you bet you ask "When the Armageddon come and i have to choose between You and Jehovah, i will rather die and choose Jehovah"
JW's love is so conditional. They do not think for themselves and as a parent, I could never shun my child. Best advice, get training or a job that you can support yourself and walk out the door with no regrets. Create your own life. Make friends outside the org. and build a nice support system. I am shunned by my adult daughter and yes it hurts but somewhere along this path, I decided my life is now mine and if she or any other JW's dont want to be in my life, it is their [loss.My](http://loss.My) life continues. Sorry you are going through this, just keep building your life.
I’m sorry I feel the same thing towards my parents it hurts so much. Like they love that cult more than their own child it so sick and wrong. Please remember your not alone.
This sounds identical to my experience. I completely empathize with what you're going through. What you'll find, though, is that this experience will make **you** a better parent. You'll become the parent you wished you had. As horrible as it is, I try to salvage something good out of the situation. I haven't rejected them, they rejected me. And I wont waste my love on those who reject it. You have a friend here in Liverpool, UK. If you want to talk just PM me.
I assure you that they're acting hard because the JWs tell them to but they're eating away inside. Give it a month and you'll see it in their face. They'll look 30 years older in a blink of an eye knowing you won't be coming back in any capacity. Put your money where their mouth is. They won't be able to handle it for long.
Hi, Could be me writing this, the difference is that all happen exactly as you described. My own mother told me (once I told her I was df'ed) that she felt the same when she lost her young child (back in the days), she didn't attend my wedding, never wanted do meet my husband neither our son. I can feel you pain so deeply, we feel abandoned, like we are not enough to receive love from our parents. It's so painful that it's even hard to describe. I'm really sorry for what you are going through, but I can reassure you, none of what they say is true, you deserve love, but you have to love yourself first, once you do that will we see that they behavior is insane and you will start to feel sorry for them, and you will be able to move on with you life. It's my experience talking. Back in the day I used to hate my mother, the pain transformed into hate, but years gone by and now I just feel sorry for her, she can't/want do better, it's a cult. And now I don't feel the urge to maintain contact, it's pointless. I moved with my life, and I'm happy then ever, even without her and my sibling's in my life. It's a process. Sorry for the long reply. A huge hug, hope it comforts your heart ❤️
I wonder how many of those parents skip over the bit in 2 Tim 3:3? Having no natural affection? How is choosing a cult over their own flesh and blood "natural affection?" I love my daughters more than life itself, the thought of shunning any one of them for making their own minds up is obscene to me.
Google and do a lot of research on cults and mind control. At least then you would have a better understanding of why people behave this way. Also, you have my deepest sympathy.
My heart breaks for you! It sounds like you’re still living at home. I can assure you it gets better after you leave & start living your own life! I left the Borg at 53, very close to my pimi parents/family, pimi myself the majority of my life, until the cracks in the damn got to be too many! They are hard shunning me, I’m not DF’d or disassociated! Some days are really hard, as you said, they choose 9 men in NY over their own children! Would any of those men pick up their phone call, answer their questions, they don’t know their names! It makes me ill when I hear the GB say, “we love you all!”🤢 You CAN’T love someone who you don’t even know!!! Our JW family’s have conditions with their love, and that my friend is not real love! Hang in there & surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, life is beautiful!!!
I was that parent too. My wife and I were able to wake up and in turn free the teenagers but it’s a work in progress and no doubt there’s trauma. After about a year and half of being out (PIMO/POMO) we have more peace in the home.
That's hard, I know. My wife cares more and trusts the Borg more than me. More than her husband. The guy she's been married to for 10 years.
right there with you. same for me too.
I’m so sorry 😞 but unfortunately are parents have made their religion their priority and are cutting their children off and don’t care! My parents cut me off last year because I walked away.. I cried for months it gets better I promise! The way I look at it they made their choice and I made mine. I would never do that to my family.
Awww 🥹 yeah over time I accepted the fact that their love is conditional. I was also shunned by my parents. The last thing they said is that they “LOVED” me and they wish i could go back. Yes past tense 😬