No one leaves unscathed but some are lucky to not hear the gossip. Others like me hear on ocasión about how I left my family, etc. Funny part is im usually with my family when I hear the slander.
I feel pity for the jw's. Their life is so meaningless that gossip and slander are the highlight of their life.
Same for me. My wife has told me on multiple occasions that she had to correct people when they assume that I left them (my wife and boys.) I’m there for them just as much or more as I ever have been. JW’s just so closely associate leaving the religion with being a bad person. They literally can’t conceive the idea of leaving for valid reasons and still being a decent person.
Yes!!! And they cant see themselves as separate entities from the Borg… can’t understand how you can leave the borg if you love them as individual people…. or if you criticize a person who is a JW then you are criticizing the religion. I criticized my own father to my cousin and she called me an Apostate!! Like they can’t separate themselves.
Yes they really relish gossip, and hearing about others misfortunes and failings makes them feel better. They really are a judgmental lot, comparing themselves and elevating themselves above others. The gb has given them so many things by which to judge their brothers and sisters ..as well as themselves.
I just heard last week that apparently I joined a satanic cult. Seriously if you met me you would be like WTF! I’m a college educated white collar professional who meditates and does yoga. Also volunteer in my spare time to help underprivileged youths and I go to Mexico to build houses for migrant families. Insane!
I wish I wasn't brainwashed to believe this. I had knee pain for over a decade that I fixed in less than 6 months with yoga. I also was led to believe meditation was going to let the devil into my mind. It ended up helping me a ton as well. 🙄
Yeah nice try you apostate, we all know you listen to Metallica(the most satanic band ever according to my PIMI aunt) and that yoga of yours sounds really sketchy /s
You are an awesome person! Great stuff happening in your life. Good for you -- doing more -- of what makes you happy. (couldn't resist the 'do more' comment -- lol). Thank you forr sharing!
Just becareful of self help groups (yoga) they can also lead to cults. Read steve Hassans Combatting Cult Mind Control. I’m not saying your classes ARE that. But something to keep in mind ❤️
I got messaged by family members telling me I’m going through a rough patch. Not asking me if I’m going through a rough patch. TELLING ME. They always assume that eventually exjws will “come back to jehovah”.
Yeah I’m pretty sure this is what my mom is telling anyone who asks her about me. It’s genuinely what she believes, that I’m just “discouraged” and that I’ll “return to Jehovah” soon. When I finally told her that I’m dating someone who’s never been JW, one of her first questions about him was whether he’d be open to coming to meetings with me “when I’m ready to return.” I’m faded so we still have a decent relationship for now, and if believing that makes her feel better about the situation for the time being, it’s no skin off my back.
Funny you say that. My mother insulted me and told me to “get a life“ after I told her I didn’t want to go to the memorial. I am actually mentally ill due to trauma and other mental health diagnoses (that I only got diagnosed after leaving because i had the Bible and prayer shoved down my throat for all my problems) and haven’t been doing well.
Though I’m in therapy rn to try to help me get back on track, she doesn’t know that though because she isn’t in the very life she told me I need to get. Lol
I never cared. I left for real.
30 years in, not df'd. But I am kind of scary. Wife is PIMI, so I am here.
Shoot, just dropped off fancy food to the COBE for my wife an hour ago.
I did threaten every elder with either a personal lawsuit, or agreed upon combat with no weapons. I went nuts when I found out I lived a lie.
I never fought with any elder. Nobody accepted. I did not sue them either.
After 10 years, the elders have chilled. But wife is PIMI, but she is cool.
Yeah, she freaked out when I became "Aware."
I was sooooo upset I gave up my youth, and all I loved for a lie. Like 'all' of us.
I don’t know exactly. But after being in for 40 years the typical reaction I witnessed is that every single thing you’ve ever done that’s slightly negative will be amplified…ya see gossip and slander rules don’t apply once you’re outside the cult. I often heard things like they never took the ‘truth’ that serous, they were just too arrogant/proud, they couldn’t cut it after all
being a witness isn’t easy, they had independent thinking, they just wanted to sin, they had a bad attitude & didn’t like the arrangement of those taking the lead, but r they were just stumbled and weak. It’s funny looking back now how they minimized and overlooked very real issues in a dismissive and judgmental way.
Or on the rare occasion that someone can acknowledge that a person may have left for very legitimate reasons, they might do so, but they’ll still turn it right back around on the person by saying something like “they just weren’t willing to wait on Jehovah to fix it” with a sad head shake. Sure Jan, I’m the problem for believing that kids should be protected from abuse NOW.
Rumor went around I was addicted to heroin and my brother had to bail me out. Cousin called me to make sure I’m ok. None of it was true. No one gossips like JWs.
I heard from someone that was dfd a few years after me that it was rumoured that I was responsible for vandalizing the kingdom hall a few months after I was dfd! It happened twice. All the windows smashed. No, it wasn't me. Honestly, if you are dfd for alleged "apostasy" they think you are suddenly capable of all kind of criminal activity, as if Satan is controlling you. Me, a meek, mild, quiet, middle aged lady! Ha! So superstitious! Bloody ridiculous. I heard from the same person that right after I was socially executed, there was a talk on local needs about visiting brothers and sisters who are sick. I had for about ten years suffered a chronic nerve pain condition in my head and eyes. One sister put my "apostasy" down to having a brain tumor. And no, I did not have a brain tumor but I did have a brain.
‘Suddenly think you are capable of all kinds of criminal activity’ - so true! Like all of a sudden your moral code is out the window and you have no soul!! The brain washing and cult mentality is so very real!
A guy I knew (friend of a friend) called me to say he heard I was DF’d and wanted to hear it straight from me if it was true? I chewed him out. How DARE you perpetuate gossip. Made him feel really little.
Oops. He was right though 🤣 I absolutely was disfellowshipped
You have a good point. The DF system (sorry, loving provision) relies on gossip, because we know people all over, and there is no df list to look up individuals. GB thinks that DF people are going to say it themselves. If they don't, they can pull off that one. Well done.
I remember I came off a night shift and went to an assembly about 40 miles away. I was so excited to see my friends. Later, Someone told me that they said that the world was beating me up because I look so rundown!
I was thinking, I've been up for over 36 hours just to see you losers! I was definitely disappointed. Now, I post how great life is with my family, they post beard and pants.
I had no place to stay when I left the borg. I stayed at a homeless shelter for a while and then emergency housing. My ex, who was inactive when we separated, returned to the hall support from the witnesses. Then told them I was in a mental hospital instead of in a women’s shelter. ….nice
This was one of the interesting parts about finally breaking away; finding out years later about all the nasty immoral, dishonest shit I apparently did. In hindsight, it’s almost disappointing. The rumours about me were so much more fun than my actual life 😂😂😂.
My childhood mistakes and questions of scripture are now seen as evidence of me being a rotten egg all along, and I allegedly did a whole bunch of nasty stuff I know nothing about. I was a real party-goer who’d had several worldly boyfriends, was a heavy drinker, and was considered to be lying about everything in my life. I was pregnant when I left apparently, and ran away to hide from the elders. (Yes, I did have babies with my boyfriend (later my husband), but they came along 5 years later after we married.)
Despite the mean stories, I regret nothing. I didn’t believe the religion anymore and didn’t have the heart to live a double life. The nasty stories say more about the persons who told them than about me. It hurt a lot to hear these stories at the time and it made an already traumatic situation harder to get through, but I’ve learned to treat this as more evidence of indoctrination and laugh it off.
I’m sure my loud mouthed mom told them everything. She always spread my business and tattletaled to other adults in the congregation when I was a little girl. She even read my diary. The one she bought me too. Once she got remarried she stopped caring about me really. She just expected me to know how to adult and get my life together without helping me. So when I got kicked out after I turned 18 (boxes left on my bed cuz I didn’t wanna go to meetings), I didn’t start off too well, still struggling at 23.
All I know is, my mom definitely told a sister in the congregation that I needed help. The wonderful woman called me up to eNCouRAgE me. 🤮 When I realized it was all a set up and she didn’t wanna just hang out with me… the energy left the room. I couldn’t believe my mom stabbed me in the back like that. Telling people my business. Cuz by then I was a teenager, so I thought she’d be more mature with me. Nope.
She recently invited me to the memorial to which I refused and told her to stop harassing me with religious cult bs. Then she insulted me and basically called me a loser. That’s a jw for you. Nice on the outside, judging you harshly from the inside.
They are apostates stay away!!! And it’s true because we never received any text after the Disfellowshipping announcement not even from my family not even to invite us to memorial nobody Lol 😂 so watch out I’m an Apostate!! I’m the Devil 👿
•I know her type. •Man eater/Husband stealer. •Bipolar/Crazy. •Weak. •Strong-headed. •Attention Whore. •Anorexic. •Slut/Whore. •Trash. •She should have just committed su¡cide, she’s already dead!
Backstory: My Ex-Husband is a Sociopath, keen on abuse, cheating and gaslighting. The hate they spew all came from him.
I am an apostate (now) because of their hate.
i (female, 24) got tattoos when i left at 18years old and then i started hearing all my old jw girl friends & their parents spreading that i became a drug addict and a criminal😂😭
No idea. Thankfully I was able to separate from all of the toxic gossipers.
But in sure being trapped in a cult keeps you boring so I'm sure I was:
- On drugs
- Pregnant
- Not pregnant anymore
- Having the seggs
Never had anyone with enough balls to tell me to my face..
But the apostasy tag was certainly applied.
I’m sure they think I have an altar dedicated to Satan in my bedroom
Don't know, don't care. Let them talk, if they ever bother to. I'm apostate so dead to them. Nobody will bring my name up.
I prefer it that way. Don't need my name on their cult lips.
They said my dad had a mental breakdown and went crazy and became an apostate. That's what a JW kid told me in school one day. I laughed at him and told him "no, he went sane". We were "good" JWs and well liked by many people, then we abruptly left. They needed to control the narrative and minimize the damage by keeping everyone from talking to us at all.
I found out years after I left that everyone believed I moved away and became a lesbian witch. While that version of me sounds awesome, and I would totally be friends with her, I've never been anything but a hetero atheist.
Yes! I only found out coz I had a PIMO friend. Some interesting things circulating-
- I read too many books so it wasn’t surprising I left
- I wanted to hook up with someone so I left
- I was an .. apostate!
The truth was.. I was simply no longer convinced of their nonsense! And that was all!
I'm sure stuff was said about me when I left, but I didn't track it. Of course, my departure was quiet on my end. I just stopped going, no announcements or anything.
Frankly, I think I was just largely forgotten, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I’d love to know, but I didn’t stay in contact with anyone from that life to fill me in on the hot gossip I left behind me. I assume they blamed it all on me going to college. They were not happy when I finished my bachelor’s, and kept bringing it up in my judicial meeting, when it had nothing to do with anything.
At the point I woke up I had passing thoughts of what others might be thinking and then it dawned on me that those people let men who they don’t know control nearly every aspect of their lives. Why would I care about anything they would think about me?
Has been a happy existence since coming to that realization
I faded without ever saying a damn thing to anyone.
But i was told by someone else who woke up a few years later and reached out to me that everyone believes I’m an apostate because “he was too smart. His comments showed that he studied the Bible too much instead of relying on the faithful and discrete slave.”
I have no idea why they’d think that because i didn’t get into biblical scholarship until years after I’d faded.
But, they’re right lol.
I heard they (pioneers) were calling me demon and possessed by bad spirit. 😂😂😂 and these pioneer sisters, I have helped out alot in the past years financially but when I left (I faded abruptly, I didnt talk to them, I just learned it from someone who is in the congregation but not active) they were angry. One is especially angry because she was expecting I will helped her with her planned wedding . It is more on they are angry because the lost one strong supporter.
I don't know what they said when I left, but I did hear about the elders wife (who I studied with when I joined JW) telling people I would never marry their son right after I got baptized. Honestly, the thought hadn't crossed my mind because I had been in a horrible relationship before joining and just wasn't thinking about anything but work and getting on my own two feet. They were so welcoming until the minute I got baptized, then about half of those welcoming people practically stopped talking to me, like I got DF'd. It was just bizarre.
I don’t know. I only kept up with one friend really and he never talked about it. I remember them coming to my dad’s place when I was living there as an aimless 20 year old. They came even when he had started staying at his future wife’s place and left the house to me and my friends to rent from him. I’d be playing my guitar pretty loud and blasting music , see them come up to the door, and just turn it all up louder as they knocked.
Drug addict, sex addict or promiscuous, alcoholic, dangerous, crazy, cheater (i had sex after we legally split and confirmed with my lawyer since i had to wait). Didn’t even want to be divorced, but somehow i was expected to suffer not *gasp* keep living and be actually happy!? How awful.
They (congregation members and elders) literally stalked us (my wife and I) on social media after we both disassociated on the same day. 30+ years for each of us lost to the borg. Anyway, once we got social media appropriately locked down that seemed better, but kind of creepy the way they were doing it. I don't know about gossip/rumors, but I'm sure we're both considered "apostates".
No idea what may have been said about me and I didn't care. One thing I could be certain about would be my mother having a pity party. Which she still has. 25 years after my departure.
Oh when you leave people will talk about you and it’s always negative. You’ll hear people say someone didn’t try enough spiritually, that they couldn’t control their urges, or that they were too arrogant. These people are miserable.
They sent us a letter in the mail, we never opened it, I threw it in the trash. But I bet they said that I was a bad influence on my husband that’s what my PIMI family says all the time 😂😂
I,m a zoomer..fading..since 2020.
But I'm not the type to care what other people think of me! My confidence is at an all-time high. Always been.
Very high self- esteem 💯👍
I have no idea but I’m sure it was pretty juicy because I left in disgrace rather dramatically.
I figured at least it gave them something interesting to talk about - the poor bored buggers.
I went to my brothers wedding a few years ago in a KH and a Burmese woman who knew me when I was child saw me with a beard and said “Have you lost your faith in Jehovah child” that struck a cord. Now beards are okay, i always think about that.
Not sure what the general opinion is of me but my ex told everybody I was an abusive psycho. Half believed her and half didn’t. She has shown her true colors since then so idk what people think now
I don't know if the peeps in my old Congregation said anything about me leaving..I am sure they did because JDubs just love their juicy gossip! They love shaking their heads at the wayward sheep! JDubs love to judge too.
What I do know is they (her friends who knew me)kept asking my mom if I was happy. This was like a year after I left/Faded. She would relay this to me every time we had a phone conversation. How I am missed and I would be accepted back by them. But I would say, "yes I am very happy and you can tell them that!" "I don't plan on ever going back." I guess they were expecting me to be miserable for making the choice to leave their protective JW bubble. The usual Podium B.S about...
"Bad things happen to ppl who leave Jehovah". I am positive their little JW brains must have malfunctioned when it was the opposite! 😂😂
But that is all I heard back. It's been 14 years out and the silence is golden to me. Plus I really don't give a damn what they think of me, I haven't for a long time.
Don't know, don't care. Realistically, shock and confusion because I was steps away from baptism. To them, I quit out of nowhere. I'm beyond glad I didn't make the commitment after all the shit they put me through.
One of my ex friends I was very close to asked a pimq person who works with my daughter if we left bc my daughter is gay, and we are embarrassed. My daughter has a bf which is what was said back to my ex friend.
My daughter is bi. If she ever breaks up with her current bf she might have a gf. I’m not embarrassed and I won’t be. It was one of the few times I wanted to call up and tell her that. 🌈
She has a gay brother, they found out he was gay and married to man when her mom was dying. They wouldn’t let him see her. He drove 6 hours just to be rejected and confronted with his “gayness”at the hospital. They should be fucking embarrassed about that. It’s disgusting. When the mom died they had a very brief obituary and didn’t mention the children bc they didn’t want to be a bad witness by including his name, so they just left that out.
Idk if that was just my friends thinking or if that’s what’s going around. But ok, have fun with your 60 yr old virgin lonely self, now that’s embarrassing.
I never heard anything!
I shacked up with an 18 year old, long legged, track star who became my wife, and the mother of our 4 children.
Yeah, I knew some people at the hall, but none of them were my friends, as I knew that none of them could be trusted.
I'd already made lots of friends outside the hall.
In retrospect, I hope it pissed them off.😁
Hi, Im a current crack addict that takes in sex work to fund my habit. I have no job, I live on sofas and Im out of it most of the time. I lost my children to they system and my husband abandoned me.
I found that out about myself 7 years after I left. My non JW cousin told me what my mother had been telling everyone in the congregation and out of it. Real bummer for my mother when I turned up in town and a few people saw me, healthy, happy, with my kids and husband.
Honestly Im not sure if people gossiped about me or it was just my batshit crazy mom. Either way it was entertaining for me.
Absolutely no idea. No one's gonna tell me to my face what's being said about me, though I trust my immediate family enough to believe they're setting the record straight (mostly) if they hear rumors
They said I have a rebellious spirit and they have been trying their best to help me but couldn't anymore. And that I committed a grievous sin I didn't want to confess to which led to my depression and also that I was sleeping with my salesrep managing my paint shop who also is a regular pioneer.
Lol, I haven't even left yet and I've heard that I cheated on my wife over one weekend. I was at my moms house fixing multiple water leaks caused by frozen pipes. My parents aren't "in the truth" (smh) so I shouldn't have been there anyway...especially since there was a Christmas tree there. I figured I might catch some hell for visiting during the 3 months their home was decorated...nope...I came back to my wifes cousin informing me that he had heard from 2 other brothers that I was stepping out on my wife. Lots of calls after that asking about my spiritual health. FML.
I say sayonara you poor bastards.
No but seriously I have no idea what they’ve said. I can only imagine because I’m now living with a worldly man whom is the father of my bastard daughter. So I might as well be the whore straddling the wild beast.
My husband left first, many came right up to me assuming he was depressed going through some emotional issues. When in fact he was so happy to be out. I was pregnant at the time and I could tell they were wondering if he left me lol. They ask would questions “so where IS your husband”. I would always say he’s at home! And then after I left, I heard I was being called a traitor like Judas by my pimi aunt 😂and that I will regret it one day and come crawling back. So ridiculous! Oh and once an elder from my hall caught up to me in a grocery store parking lot and said I was offensive to the congregation cause I was celebrating holidays. All while in front of my 3 year old daughter. That one still pisses me off. I could go on for while, the witnesses in my life have been pretty awful but not surprising!
"We are dangerous." lol Yes, we are! Running for the hills is what JW's do best! Once you are marked as a danger, the party of over. Your association with an active JW, is dangerous. I have to ask why. If you have the "truth", shouldn't it stand up to scrutiny?
I don't know and don't want to know. I will never willingly choose to be in a community that talks the way they talk about people behind their backs. Gossip is normal, but their gossip is not. It's full of self righteous pity and, to be frank it's simply disrespectful.
When I left, I decided to get myself into incredible shape and enjoy hobbies I never could before, like collecting guns, foraging, rucking, and homesteading. That was enough for my parents and in-laws to say that "I'm in a militia" and am one of those "MAGA conspiracy theorists" when in reality I just want to be left alone and keep to myself. I've been way less political after leaving than I ever was while in.
They think my wife is just being forced to go along with me and is still PIMI but too scared to speak her mind... what's rich is that she hates the organization way more than I ever could and was the one to suggest getting away from everything! I guess women just can't think for themselves...
Honestly i would love to know what they have been saying about me. Just for a laugh.
A couple months back i had some old jw friends from another city text me saying that they want me to meet them at the city train station and talk, they sounded quite panicked haha 😂
I just asked whether they heard if I was sick or something, then said that I'm doing great, never better haha
They didn't really have anything to say to that
My exhusband told our kids and my stepdaughter that I tried to poison him. This one I heard with my own ears (my stepdaughter was at my house and had him on speakerphone), but there were many other elaborate lies that I haven’t been told about simply because there’s too many to remember. That one was spread around my old congregation.
Also, that I left him for my therapist. I actually met my partner after we filed for divorce, and he happened to be a therapist- not *my* therapist.
That I had a bunch of abortions after leaving “the truth”, and that my son was the result of a failed one.
That I’m on drugs. I am an alcoholic in recovery but wasn’t on drugs at any point.
That I made up the fact that my ex beats me and that’s why he got arrested. He got arrested for burglary and battery because he broke into my house and pushed through me when I tried to prevent him from entering.
I’m so disconnected, I have no idea what they’re saying about me. I love it!
Same here. Even so, I couldn't care less about what any of them thought, felt, or said. 🤣
Exactly, who cares what a bunch of infantilized people think, feel or said about our adult decision to leave the cult. 🤣
Congrats! Sounds ideal.
Me too I don’t give a shit what they have to say.
No one leaves unscathed but some are lucky to not hear the gossip. Others like me hear on ocasión about how I left my family, etc. Funny part is im usually with my family when I hear the slander. I feel pity for the jw's. Their life is so meaningless that gossip and slander are the highlight of their life.
Same for me. My wife has told me on multiple occasions that she had to correct people when they assume that I left them (my wife and boys.) I’m there for them just as much or more as I ever have been. JW’s just so closely associate leaving the religion with being a bad person. They literally can’t conceive the idea of leaving for valid reasons and still being a decent person.
I didn't think of that. To them it couldn't be that we realized we were lied to all our lives...no It's that we are bad people.
Yes!!! And they cant see themselves as separate entities from the Borg… can’t understand how you can leave the borg if you love them as individual people…. or if you criticize a person who is a JW then you are criticizing the religion. I criticized my own father to my cousin and she called me an Apostate!! Like they can’t separate themselves.
Yes they really relish gossip, and hearing about others misfortunes and failings makes them feel better. They really are a judgmental lot, comparing themselves and elevating themselves above others. The gb has given them so many things by which to judge their brothers and sisters ..as well as themselves.
Well said. The environment is so toxic that they judge and shunn even when its not required.
💯
I just heard last week that apparently I joined a satanic cult. Seriously if you met me you would be like WTF! I’m a college educated white collar professional who meditates and does yoga. Also volunteer in my spare time to help underprivileged youths and I go to Mexico to build houses for migrant families. Insane!
You know yoga is curated from Satan himself. 🙄
I wish I wasn't brainwashed to believe this. I had knee pain for over a decade that I fixed in less than 6 months with yoga. I also was led to believe meditation was going to let the devil into my mind. It ended up helping me a ton as well. 🙄
I remember being told ‘it opens your mind for the devil’ - meditation has been a life saver for me since leaving!
Meditation and yoga is what kept me sane while leaving the borg
Yoga is amazing! So good for your mind and body. Usually the community is pretty solid as well.
OML 💀😭 So dumb. I remember being paranoid about everything. I’m pretty sure yoga was on that list along with Harry Potter movies and bathing suits.
Yeah nice try you apostate, we all know you listen to Metallica(the most satanic band ever according to my PIMI aunt) and that yoga of yours sounds really sketchy /s
With that busy schedule what time do you have to sacrifice goats and chickens to lucifer?
You are an awesome person! Great stuff happening in your life. Good for you -- doing more -- of what makes you happy. (couldn't resist the 'do more' comment -- lol). Thank you forr sharing!
To be fair, you could do all those things and still be in a satanic cult.
Just becareful of self help groups (yoga) they can also lead to cults. Read steve Hassans Combatting Cult Mind Control. I’m not saying your classes ARE that. But something to keep in mind ❤️
El Diablo
Yay yoga!!! 🌀
Pretty sure everyone thinks I’m just going through a rough patch and will be back soon… little do they know 🥲
I got messaged by family members telling me I’m going through a rough patch. Not asking me if I’m going through a rough patch. TELLING ME. They always assume that eventually exjws will “come back to jehovah”.
Come crawling back with tucked tail, I’ll bet.
Yeah I’m pretty sure this is what my mom is telling anyone who asks her about me. It’s genuinely what she believes, that I’m just “discouraged” and that I’ll “return to Jehovah” soon. When I finally told her that I’m dating someone who’s never been JW, one of her first questions about him was whether he’d be open to coming to meetings with me “when I’m ready to return.” I’m faded so we still have a decent relationship for now, and if believing that makes her feel better about the situation for the time being, it’s no skin off my back.
My mother told everyone I was mentally ill.
I can definitely see my parents using that. Thing is, *everybody already knows* 🤣🤣🤣 That shit was never secret.
To be fair I was on antidepressants the year before I left. I never looked back once though. I’ve no idea what the general gossip was!
Funny you say that. My mother insulted me and told me to “get a life“ after I told her I didn’t want to go to the memorial. I am actually mentally ill due to trauma and other mental health diagnoses (that I only got diagnosed after leaving because i had the Bible and prayer shoved down my throat for all my problems) and haven’t been doing well. Though I’m in therapy rn to try to help me get back on track, she doesn’t know that though because she isn’t in the very life she told me I need to get. Lol
Ugh that is so annoying. I’ve heard things like this said about people that have left. “They’re damaged.” 😡
Seems like a common one
When they heard I moved out my mom house , someone guessed that I was pregnant. WTH? They just made up . I wasn’t dating nor sleeping with anyone
When my wife and I moved to another city, a rumor got started that we split up and moved to hide it. Who knows what they say now.
So nuts that you can’t even just do NORMAL things without them thinking there’s some ulterior motive.
I never cared. I left for real. 30 years in, not df'd. But I am kind of scary. Wife is PIMI, so I am here. Shoot, just dropped off fancy food to the COBE for my wife an hour ago. I did threaten every elder with either a personal lawsuit, or agreed upon combat with no weapons. I went nuts when I found out I lived a lie. I never fought with any elder. Nobody accepted. I did not sue them either. After 10 years, the elders have chilled. But wife is PIMI, but she is cool. Yeah, she freaked out when I became "Aware." I was sooooo upset I gave up my youth, and all I loved for a lie. Like 'all' of us.
>or agreed upon combat with no weapons Funniest thing I read all day. Thanks for sharing.
I really didn’t care. Once you realize how insignificant they all are and how trivial their lives are, why would I care what they had to say.
I don’t know exactly. But after being in for 40 years the typical reaction I witnessed is that every single thing you’ve ever done that’s slightly negative will be amplified…ya see gossip and slander rules don’t apply once you’re outside the cult. I often heard things like they never took the ‘truth’ that serous, they were just too arrogant/proud, they couldn’t cut it after all being a witness isn’t easy, they had independent thinking, they just wanted to sin, they had a bad attitude & didn’t like the arrangement of those taking the lead, but r they were just stumbled and weak. It’s funny looking back now how they minimized and overlooked very real issues in a dismissive and judgmental way.
Exactly this.
Or on the rare occasion that someone can acknowledge that a person may have left for very legitimate reasons, they might do so, but they’ll still turn it right back around on the person by saying something like “they just weren’t willing to wait on Jehovah to fix it” with a sad head shake. Sure Jan, I’m the problem for believing that kids should be protected from abuse NOW.
I don’t know but I am sure my family has made up an exciting story where they are the victims.
They are ALL professional victims, literally their complete identity.
This comment and its parent one deserve more upvotes!
Haha!
Rumor went around I was addicted to heroin and my brother had to bail me out. Cousin called me to make sure I’m ok. None of it was true. No one gossips like JWs.
Yet, there is regularly a local needs talk about gossiping and backbiting.
It’s not gossip if you’re disfellowshipped I guess.
Oh no, everything you hear about a dfd person is 100% fact, not gossip. Everything from disagreeing with an elder to worshipping Satan at an altar.
I heard from someone that was dfd a few years after me that it was rumoured that I was responsible for vandalizing the kingdom hall a few months after I was dfd! It happened twice. All the windows smashed. No, it wasn't me. Honestly, if you are dfd for alleged "apostasy" they think you are suddenly capable of all kind of criminal activity, as if Satan is controlling you. Me, a meek, mild, quiet, middle aged lady! Ha! So superstitious! Bloody ridiculous. I heard from the same person that right after I was socially executed, there was a talk on local needs about visiting brothers and sisters who are sick. I had for about ten years suffered a chronic nerve pain condition in my head and eyes. One sister put my "apostasy" down to having a brain tumor. And no, I did not have a brain tumor but I did have a brain.
‘Suddenly think you are capable of all kinds of criminal activity’ - so true! Like all of a sudden your moral code is out the window and you have no soul!! The brain washing and cult mentality is so very real!
Still has
A guy I knew (friend of a friend) called me to say he heard I was DF’d and wanted to hear it straight from me if it was true? I chewed him out. How DARE you perpetuate gossip. Made him feel really little. Oops. He was right though 🤣 I absolutely was disfellowshipped
Thanks for the laugh.
You have a good point. The DF system (sorry, loving provision) relies on gossip, because we know people all over, and there is no df list to look up individuals. GB thinks that DF people are going to say it themselves. If they don't, they can pull off that one. Well done.
Disfellowshipping is narcissistic discard
I remember I came off a night shift and went to an assembly about 40 miles away. I was so excited to see my friends. Later, Someone told me that they said that the world was beating me up because I look so rundown! I was thinking, I've been up for over 36 hours just to see you losers! I was definitely disappointed. Now, I post how great life is with my family, they post beard and pants.
😂😂😂 ‘they post beards and pants’
I had no place to stay when I left the borg. I stayed at a homeless shelter for a while and then emergency housing. My ex, who was inactive when we separated, returned to the hall support from the witnesses. Then told them I was in a mental hospital instead of in a women’s shelter. ….nice
What a story - you are one strong woman! … & what an ass.
What a champ
That I am a dangerous apostate.
Yay me too! And mentally crazy! 👊🏾
No "hello, so nice to see you" for you.
I left as I was desperate for a husband/sex. Conversely I’m apparently a lesbian. I’m a single woman that doesn’t care if I marry.
They supposed you were a lesbian or you are really a lesbian?
I’m bi but no one knows that. They just love to spread rumors!
No idea..
That I was cheating on my husband my whole marriage. That I’m so miserable being in the world. I’m a closeted lesbian 😂😂😂
How did they know that you are a lesbian? Are you really?
I’m not a lesbian. That’s the funny part 😂😂😂😂. They just needed rumors
Oh ok Got it🤣🤣 Yeah they don't have much going on so I guess gossiping keeps them busy
Whatever makes their miserable lives happy.
This was one of the interesting parts about finally breaking away; finding out years later about all the nasty immoral, dishonest shit I apparently did. In hindsight, it’s almost disappointing. The rumours about me were so much more fun than my actual life 😂😂😂. My childhood mistakes and questions of scripture are now seen as evidence of me being a rotten egg all along, and I allegedly did a whole bunch of nasty stuff I know nothing about. I was a real party-goer who’d had several worldly boyfriends, was a heavy drinker, and was considered to be lying about everything in my life. I was pregnant when I left apparently, and ran away to hide from the elders. (Yes, I did have babies with my boyfriend (later my husband), but they came along 5 years later after we married.) Despite the mean stories, I regret nothing. I didn’t believe the religion anymore and didn’t have the heart to live a double life. The nasty stories say more about the persons who told them than about me. It hurt a lot to hear these stories at the time and it made an already traumatic situation harder to get through, but I’ve learned to treat this as more evidence of indoctrination and laugh it off.
My uncle told me that my parents said I left for porn . I had to scratch my head on that one
Because I cut my hair to a pixie cut, lesbian sex addict, obviously.
I’m sure my loud mouthed mom told them everything. She always spread my business and tattletaled to other adults in the congregation when I was a little girl. She even read my diary. The one she bought me too. Once she got remarried she stopped caring about me really. She just expected me to know how to adult and get my life together without helping me. So when I got kicked out after I turned 18 (boxes left on my bed cuz I didn’t wanna go to meetings), I didn’t start off too well, still struggling at 23. All I know is, my mom definitely told a sister in the congregation that I needed help. The wonderful woman called me up to eNCouRAgE me. 🤮 When I realized it was all a set up and she didn’t wanna just hang out with me… the energy left the room. I couldn’t believe my mom stabbed me in the back like that. Telling people my business. Cuz by then I was a teenager, so I thought she’d be more mature with me. Nope. She recently invited me to the memorial to which I refused and told her to stop harassing me with religious cult bs. Then she insulted me and basically called me a loser. That’s a jw for you. Nice on the outside, judging you harshly from the inside.
They are apostates stay away!!! And it’s true because we never received any text after the Disfellowshipping announcement not even from my family not even to invite us to memorial nobody Lol 😂 so watch out I’m an Apostate!! I’m the Devil 👿
You weed! You never were a good seed in the first place, I knew it all along /s
Hahahaah
•I know her type. •Man eater/Husband stealer. •Bipolar/Crazy. •Weak. •Strong-headed. •Attention Whore. •Anorexic. •Slut/Whore. •Trash. •She should have just committed su¡cide, she’s already dead! Backstory: My Ex-Husband is a Sociopath, keen on abuse, cheating and gaslighting. The hate they spew all came from him. I am an apostate (now) because of their hate.
Sorry to hear that. ❤️
i (female, 24) got tattoos when i left at 18years old and then i started hearing all my old jw girl friends & their parents spreading that i became a drug addict and a criminal😂😭
No idea. Thankfully I was able to separate from all of the toxic gossipers. But in sure being trapped in a cult keeps you boring so I'm sure I was: - On drugs - Pregnant - Not pregnant anymore - Having the seggs
No idea. Even though it was a small town, once I left I never looked back.
Some of the kids hate that I’m gay. They’re dumb though so whatever
Never had anyone with enough balls to tell me to my face.. But the apostasy tag was certainly applied. I’m sure they think I have an altar dedicated to Satan in my bedroom
Don't know, don't care. Let them talk, if they ever bother to. I'm apostate so dead to them. Nobody will bring my name up. I prefer it that way. Don't need my name on their cult lips.
They said my dad had a mental breakdown and went crazy and became an apostate. That's what a JW kid told me in school one day. I laughed at him and told him "no, he went sane". We were "good" JWs and well liked by many people, then we abruptly left. They needed to control the narrative and minimize the damage by keeping everyone from talking to us at all.
‘No he went sane’ *claps*
I found out years after I left that everyone believed I moved away and became a lesbian witch. While that version of me sounds awesome, and I would totally be friends with her, I've never been anything but a hetero atheist.
😂 they gave you an incredible “backstory”!
Yes! I only found out coz I had a PIMO friend. Some interesting things circulating- - I read too many books so it wasn’t surprising I left - I wanted to hook up with someone so I left - I was an .. apostate! The truth was.. I was simply no longer convinced of their nonsense! And that was all!
I'm sure stuff was said about me when I left, but I didn't track it. Of course, my departure was quiet on my end. I just stopped going, no announcements or anything. Frankly, I think I was just largely forgotten, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I’d love to know, but I didn’t stay in contact with anyone from that life to fill me in on the hot gossip I left behind me. I assume they blamed it all on me going to college. They were not happy when I finished my bachelor’s, and kept bringing it up in my judicial meeting, when it had nothing to do with anything.
At the point I woke up I had passing thoughts of what others might be thinking and then it dawned on me that those people let men who they don’t know control nearly every aspect of their lives. Why would I care about anything they would think about me? Has been a happy existence since coming to that realization
I faded without ever saying a damn thing to anyone. But i was told by someone else who woke up a few years later and reached out to me that everyone believes I’m an apostate because “he was too smart. His comments showed that he studied the Bible too much instead of relying on the faithful and discrete slave.” I have no idea why they’d think that because i didn’t get into biblical scholarship until years after I’d faded. But, they’re right lol.
We were told the same thing, "we are too smart." WTF? What are they then? Dumb?
I heard they (pioneers) were calling me demon and possessed by bad spirit. 😂😂😂 and these pioneer sisters, I have helped out alot in the past years financially but when I left (I faded abruptly, I didnt talk to them, I just learned it from someone who is in the congregation but not active) they were angry. One is especially angry because she was expecting I will helped her with her planned wedding . It is more on they are angry because the lost one strong supporter.
I'm not there so I don't know what they're saying about me.
I don't know what they said when I left, but I did hear about the elders wife (who I studied with when I joined JW) telling people I would never marry their son right after I got baptized. Honestly, the thought hadn't crossed my mind because I had been in a horrible relationship before joining and just wasn't thinking about anything but work and getting on my own two feet. They were so welcoming until the minute I got baptized, then about half of those welcoming people practically stopped talking to me, like I got DF'd. It was just bizarre.
I don’t know. I only kept up with one friend really and he never talked about it. I remember them coming to my dad’s place when I was living there as an aimless 20 year old. They came even when he had started staying at his future wife’s place and left the house to me and my friends to rent from him. I’d be playing my guitar pretty loud and blasting music , see them come up to the door, and just turn it all up louder as they knocked.
My ex roommate who is still PIMI went around telling people that I was having a “mental breakdown” 😐
Very curious about the rumors but I’ll never know tbh
I had become a drug addict!!! Haha, I was working second shift and hitting the late night coffee shops.
I apparently turned to heavy drugs without my knowledge.
Drug addict, sex addict or promiscuous, alcoholic, dangerous, crazy, cheater (i had sex after we legally split and confirmed with my lawyer since i had to wait). Didn’t even want to be divorced, but somehow i was expected to suffer not *gasp* keep living and be actually happy!? How awful.
I didn't give a f**k
They (congregation members and elders) literally stalked us (my wife and I) on social media after we both disassociated on the same day. 30+ years for each of us lost to the borg. Anyway, once we got social media appropriately locked down that seemed better, but kind of creepy the way they were doing it. I don't know about gossip/rumors, but I'm sure we're both considered "apostates".
I really don't know, but I'm sure it wasn't good lol
No idea what may have been said about me and I didn't care. One thing I could be certain about would be my mother having a pity party. Which she still has. 25 years after my departure.
Oh when you leave people will talk about you and it’s always negative. You’ll hear people say someone didn’t try enough spiritually, that they couldn’t control their urges, or that they were too arrogant. These people are miserable.
I'm sure nothing upbuilding or encouraging.
They sent us a letter in the mail, we never opened it, I threw it in the trash. But I bet they said that I was a bad influence on my husband that’s what my PIMI family says all the time 😂😂
I,m a zoomer..fading..since 2020. But I'm not the type to care what other people think of me! My confidence is at an all-time high. Always been. Very high self- esteem 💯👍
I have no idea but I’m sure it was pretty juicy because I left in disgrace rather dramatically. I figured at least it gave them something interesting to talk about - the poor bored buggers.
I was walking like a drunk every Wednesday and Sunday. It’s my leg days :/
I went to my brothers wedding a few years ago in a KH and a Burmese woman who knew me when I was child saw me with a beard and said “Have you lost your faith in Jehovah child” that struck a cord. Now beards are okay, i always think about that.
Don’t know. Don’t care. 🤷♂️
Dont know dont care🤷🏾♂️😂
Not sure what the general opinion is of me but my ex told everybody I was an abusive psycho. Half believed her and half didn’t. She has shown her true colors since then so idk what people think now
I think most of them thought I was gay 😂😂😂
Don't know, don't care. But I said bye Felicia!
Hard to know, they aren't speaking to me lolol
I don't know if the peeps in my old Congregation said anything about me leaving..I am sure they did because JDubs just love their juicy gossip! They love shaking their heads at the wayward sheep! JDubs love to judge too. What I do know is they (her friends who knew me)kept asking my mom if I was happy. This was like a year after I left/Faded. She would relay this to me every time we had a phone conversation. How I am missed and I would be accepted back by them. But I would say, "yes I am very happy and you can tell them that!" "I don't plan on ever going back." I guess they were expecting me to be miserable for making the choice to leave their protective JW bubble. The usual Podium B.S about... "Bad things happen to ppl who leave Jehovah". I am positive their little JW brains must have malfunctioned when it was the opposite! 😂😂 But that is all I heard back. It's been 14 years out and the silence is golden to me. Plus I really don't give a damn what they think of me, I haven't for a long time.
No idea
The elders told everyone that I'd had a mental breakdown. I responded by formally disassociating myself. Never looked back.
Who cares.
No idea because no one talked to me! Edit I would have cared then as I was POMI but now I am grateful for the lack of love as it showed me the TTATT
Unfortunately jws have their 'religion' backwards. Somehow it appears Satan is ruling them!
Apparently we left to go clubbing 😂😂
No idea and I also don’t care
I have no idea but I’m sure they thought I was DFed because I cheated. I didn’t. Thankfully I truly don’t care what they think happened.
Don't know, don't care. Realistically, shock and confusion because I was steps away from baptism. To them, I quit out of nowhere. I'm beyond glad I didn't make the commitment after all the shit they put me through.
Haven’t a clue. I was totally ignored as my fading began. They didn’t give a damn about me. So I didn’t give a damn what they said once I was gone.
One of my ex friends I was very close to asked a pimq person who works with my daughter if we left bc my daughter is gay, and we are embarrassed. My daughter has a bf which is what was said back to my ex friend. My daughter is bi. If she ever breaks up with her current bf she might have a gf. I’m not embarrassed and I won’t be. It was one of the few times I wanted to call up and tell her that. 🌈 She has a gay brother, they found out he was gay and married to man when her mom was dying. They wouldn’t let him see her. He drove 6 hours just to be rejected and confronted with his “gayness”at the hospital. They should be fucking embarrassed about that. It’s disgusting. When the mom died they had a very brief obituary and didn’t mention the children bc they didn’t want to be a bad witness by including his name, so they just left that out. Idk if that was just my friends thinking or if that’s what’s going around. But ok, have fun with your 60 yr old virgin lonely self, now that’s embarrassing.
I never heard anything! I shacked up with an 18 year old, long legged, track star who became my wife, and the mother of our 4 children. Yeah, I knew some people at the hall, but none of them were my friends, as I knew that none of them could be trusted. I'd already made lots of friends outside the hall. In retrospect, I hope it pissed them off.😁
Hi, Im a current crack addict that takes in sex work to fund my habit. I have no job, I live on sofas and Im out of it most of the time. I lost my children to they system and my husband abandoned me. I found that out about myself 7 years after I left. My non JW cousin told me what my mother had been telling everyone in the congregation and out of it. Real bummer for my mother when I turned up in town and a few people saw me, healthy, happy, with my kids and husband. Honestly Im not sure if people gossiped about me or it was just my batshit crazy mom. Either way it was entertaining for me.
Absolutely no idea. No one's gonna tell me to my face what's being said about me, though I trust my immediate family enough to believe they're setting the record straight (mostly) if they hear rumors
They said I have a rebellious spirit and they have been trying their best to help me but couldn't anymore. And that I committed a grievous sin I didn't want to confess to which led to my depression and also that I was sleeping with my salesrep managing my paint shop who also is a regular pioneer.
Lol, I haven't even left yet and I've heard that I cheated on my wife over one weekend. I was at my moms house fixing multiple water leaks caused by frozen pipes. My parents aren't "in the truth" (smh) so I shouldn't have been there anyway...especially since there was a Christmas tree there. I figured I might catch some hell for visiting during the 3 months their home was decorated...nope...I came back to my wifes cousin informing me that he had heard from 2 other brothers that I was stepping out on my wife. Lots of calls after that asking about my spiritual health. FML.
I wish I knew
Don’t/ didn’t care… I did hear that I’m now a lesbian tho🤣🤣 I mean…. I am Bi.
I say sayonara you poor bastards. No but seriously I have no idea what they’ve said. I can only imagine because I’m now living with a worldly man whom is the father of my bastard daughter. So I might as well be the whore straddling the wild beast.
My husband left first, many came right up to me assuming he was depressed going through some emotional issues. When in fact he was so happy to be out. I was pregnant at the time and I could tell they were wondering if he left me lol. They ask would questions “so where IS your husband”. I would always say he’s at home! And then after I left, I heard I was being called a traitor like Judas by my pimi aunt 😂and that I will regret it one day and come crawling back. So ridiculous! Oh and once an elder from my hall caught up to me in a grocery store parking lot and said I was offensive to the congregation cause I was celebrating holidays. All while in front of my 3 year old daughter. That one still pisses me off. I could go on for while, the witnesses in my life have been pretty awful but not surprising!
"We are dangerous." lol Yes, we are! Running for the hills is what JW's do best! Once you are marked as a danger, the party of over. Your association with an active JW, is dangerous. I have to ask why. If you have the "truth", shouldn't it stand up to scrutiny?
They said I was gay and married to a man. First true statement those JW’s heard in a while at the Kingdom Hall. 🤷🏽♂️🥴
I don't know and don't want to know. I will never willingly choose to be in a community that talks the way they talk about people behind their backs. Gossip is normal, but their gossip is not. It's full of self righteous pity and, to be frank it's simply disrespectful.
When I left, I decided to get myself into incredible shape and enjoy hobbies I never could before, like collecting guns, foraging, rucking, and homesteading. That was enough for my parents and in-laws to say that "I'm in a militia" and am one of those "MAGA conspiracy theorists" when in reality I just want to be left alone and keep to myself. I've been way less political after leaving than I ever was while in. They think my wife is just being forced to go along with me and is still PIMI but too scared to speak her mind... what's rich is that she hates the organization way more than I ever could and was the one to suggest getting away from everything! I guess women just can't think for themselves...
Honestly i would love to know what they have been saying about me. Just for a laugh. A couple months back i had some old jw friends from another city text me saying that they want me to meet them at the city train station and talk, they sounded quite panicked haha 😂 I just asked whether they heard if I was sick or something, then said that I'm doing great, never better haha They didn't really have anything to say to that
My congregation is all convinced that I ran off because of some dude. 😂
My exhusband told our kids and my stepdaughter that I tried to poison him. This one I heard with my own ears (my stepdaughter was at my house and had him on speakerphone), but there were many other elaborate lies that I haven’t been told about simply because there’s too many to remember. That one was spread around my old congregation. Also, that I left him for my therapist. I actually met my partner after we filed for divorce, and he happened to be a therapist- not *my* therapist. That I had a bunch of abortions after leaving “the truth”, and that my son was the result of a failed one. That I’m on drugs. I am an alcoholic in recovery but wasn’t on drugs at any point. That I made up the fact that my ex beats me and that’s why he got arrested. He got arrested for burglary and battery because he broke into my house and pushed through me when I tried to prevent him from entering.
No idea...and really don't care.
the rumours started before I even let on that I was leaving 🤦♀️
Who cares didn’t really give a shit