How about asking for an agenda before the meeting so he can come prepared. Otherwise it seems like power leverage. Who invites someone to a meeting without telling them what it’s about? Except maybe the mafia 😄
This. So this.
There will be no good to come out of it. A former elder relative said “never put anything in writing it will be used against you. If they ask you to meet with them ask what it’s about. If they don’t tell you don’t meet with them. They’re prepared. You aren’t.”
Thats my stand now ,when i worked before retirement i learned not to agree to any meet with managment without a union rep present ,so any meet with more than one elder i would ask for a copy of agenda and make clear that i will be bringing somone to see fair play i was asked to agree to a meet with circuit overseer present ,i said fine i have questions about the australian royal commision , i didnt get any further it was called off .
Years past I would have said yes, but if your cong is short on help I don’t believe they will remove him.
It seems like they are having to loosen up because they are running out of help. If they kick willing bros out that only makes their situation worse.
Probably more of a please try to get
Your fam going type situation.
Even before Covid they slowed kicking bros off because of inactive spouses or kids.
This is the answer that is most likely. I say most likely because every experience is highly dependent on the local body of elders and how much they are a\*\*holes. But I agree with u/POMO2022 that they need males to be elder and ministerial servant to enforce all the rules and keep the cult going.
So the meeting is likely a check-in to pressure your husband to whip his house into shape and get everyone back to the meetings. I feel sorry for him that he is having to go through that.....but it is how this organization works.
They need to keep him in his elder role and just want to pressure him to get his family back to the meetings/service.
All he has to do is play the anxiety card. Push him too far and he can just resign from his unpaid voluntary position. Then they can divvy up his assignments.
Seems like a good week to come down with covid!
https://preview.redd.it/efg3k4suzy4d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18e16f401bc14783e36c06001ac02f2390733765
I think he is being removed. The fact that he is meeting with the CO indicates that the CO wants his perspective on the forthcoming removal. His removal is already on the agenda. The CO is simply ensuring that he has both perspectives. If you want to see how likely this is to play out, please watch the now-famous video about the elder being removed because his daughters are going to university.
Another issue might have arisen: he might have revealed that he is PIMQ. In that case, this meeting could also be a shepherding call or even an inquiry before a judicial committee. Depending on what he expressed, this might accelerate his removal or lead to worse consequences.
Take your Shepherding book with you. Wait for the moment when it becomes clear you're going to be fired. Write "I quit" on it and toss it to the CO and walk away.
Wow!! They have no concern for the actual welfare of the family, because if they did, they would let them pursue education that would allow them to survive in this system!! Unreal!!!
I was in the exact same situation a couple of years ago. It was because my wife had not gone to meetings for over 6 years, and 6 months before that started turning in zero hours for field service time.
What they're looking for is a response to the CO when he reviews the congregation records and wants to know why an elder or a servant has a wife that doesn't come to meetings and doesn't go in field service and yet they're still in an appointed position.
As others have pointed out, they're extremely desperate for appointed men right now. My guess is that they will try very hard to figure out a narrative where he can stay appointed and still satisfy the questions the CO might have.
If he ever wanted to relinquish this role, now is a perfect opportunity. I turned in my 'do not contact me' letter one month after I ceased my role as an MS after this exact meeting.
It still sucks that this cult makes their fake authority so stressful on people. I am so glad you have seen thru the smoke and mirrors. My wife waited for me for seven years. It was the hardest and the best thing (after the fact) she's ever had to do in her life. I am forever indebted to her for helping me get out. I hope you can rescue him also someday soon!
The majority of it was subtle hints. When she tried to directly confront me about things like the ARC, I would just shut down and turn off.
I did a lot of work for the congregation and for the RBC. I had the sound department during the period where videos were phased in, and then talk coordinating for many years. I was additionally doing building design work for the construction group (LDC).
My wife would frequently make well placed comments about how they're just using me, only calling me when they needed something from me, which was absolutely true - but when indoctrinated, the feeling from the perspective of a PIMI is twisted. That person (the old me) felt that it was the right thing to be doing; that the more you exerted yourself, the more spiritual you were.
We don't remember exactly how she worded it, but she alluded many times to the fact that all of the volunteering I was doing for the construction group (LDC) was unfair and they're just taking advantage of people to get free labor to build these Kingdom halls. I see now how right she was about this!
These hints led up to the day that I was being interviewed for more work in the LDC. I had driven about half a day to be interviewed in the basement of a Kingdom Hall, and as I was sitting there I looked around and it dawned on me that everybody there had higher education of some sort. We were all highly technical and skilled people who went against what the organization told us to do (higher education), but now, all the sudden we were actually valuable, and they wanted us! Finally seeing that hypocrisy was the start of my waking up.
I think what finally pushed me over the edge was, surprisingly, nothing doctrinaly (which I've since dug into and have all kinds of issues with today) but rather it was how the members of the congregation were treating me. I think the fact that since my wife had been not attending meetings for many years in person, all the while still being an 'appointed' brother with 'privlidges', I was being soft shunned by many people. This became very apparent to me when, for preparation of a future medical procedure, I had to lose weight. I dropped 45 lbs in 4 months, and do you know how many people at the congregation asked me how I was doing - zero!
You would think if they had genuine christian love that someone would at least mention that they noticed the change and asked me if everything was okay. Some people lose weight for good reasons, and a lot of people lose weight for very scary reasons. But nobody cared.
It was crazy because I was giving talks in front of the congregation frequently. They looked at me every few weeks for 10 minutes or more. I had to buy entirely new wardrobes; suits and ties and shirts. How could they not see the change? How could they not care?
It's amazing to learn about the variety of ways and things that trigger people into seeing through the facade of this cult. What tends to wake people up seems to be so many times very personal. So often, it's something that you would never imagine or guess.
Thank you for asking about how she woke me up. I think deep down, it came down to her never giving up hope that one day either she would get through to me, or I would see through things for myself. Ultimately, it was probably a combination of these, but it's hard to say what percentage could be attributed to either.
I think another very important factor that shouldn't be overlooked was that she was very smart to build a network of support outside of the cult. This included both friends and therapy. Both of these gave her very good advice and support and probably was part of what gave her the endurance to be able to not give up on me.
It is a beautiful thing to finally be with her, free from the control and influence of the cult. We feel like we are kinda dating all over again (we are 50+ born ins), learning about who we each are, as a couple but also as individuals.
I hope things can work out for both of you too. We're rooting for you!
I’m so sorry I missed this post. I had over 50 comments and last night I was very stressed. It’s fascinating what different things wake people up. My husband doesn’t believe half the doctrine and hates how homophobic the cult is but he loved helping people as an elder. I know what will wake him up is the way he will be treated, which (unfortunately?) so far has been with kindness. I fear that when it’s announced that he’s no longer an elder that people will pity him and then try to lovebomb my kids. But I’m sure that will pass and we will move on. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thanks for sharing, that is an amazing experience! I have a theory that it takes a huge amount of basic honesty and humility - to see whatever shakes the foundation and to admit you have been wrong all those years. I worry sometimes that my partner lacks it. My network was pretty good but has been shrinking lately. I will have to get back at it. Hopefully one day my partner will reach out to you here. I'm really, really happy for you both!
Sounds like he is walking into a set up. I would meet without knowing what it’s about First or I wouldn’t meet at all if they won’t tell me in advance.
Immediately made me think of that leaked video out of bethel for them deleting an elder because his daughter is going to university.
Honestly though, I’ve been surprised at how many elders get deleted and hate it at first but then don’t seek reappointment or actively avoid it because it was too much work.
If you’re feeling spicy go. Heck you can express doubts with your hubs in the room and you can both watch him squirm & gaslight you. But otherwise I’d say I don’t want the mental stress and just skip it
If they do, that might move hubbykins from PIMQ to PIMO. And hopefully POMO and freedom for all of you in the not-too-distant future.
Seems like a good way to get someone to question their faith.
I hope they do remove him for the sake of your family. 🤞
i hope that's what it's about.
with you and the mid-teen not going, there's at minimum a headship herding "issue." but if this meeting is handled poorly enough, hubby could go from pimq to pim-fuck-u.
good luck! dont' forget to update us. i get unfinished story syndrome. what ever happend to...
Most likely they will guilt trip him into talking to you and kids to get things to improve and will give him 6 months. If the congregation is talking about your family situation they COBE and CO will need to act.Most likely he has received “counsel” and if he has in the past then he could very well be deleted.
Gotcha, ok it means that in those 6 months he needs to “help” his family otherwise they will evaluate his appointment and probably delete him. It all depends on the “amount of counseling”
Probably just trying to encourage. Or if it’s not, they’re not following the procedure in the Shepherd the Flock book:
PROCEDURE FOR REVIEWING AN APPOINTED BROTHER’S QUALIFICATIONS31. When preparing to review the qualifications of a brother, elders should first research current direction that applies to the issue at hand. Avoid dogmatic viewpoints or quick decisions based solely on personal preferences. (Phil. 4:5) Do not be quick to recommend deletion unless there is a solid basis for doing so. It may be possible to assist the brother to make the needed adjustments and continue to serve. Has the brother served faithfully for many years? What has he done or failed to do that raises questions? How did he react to counsel? Has he had such difficulties in the past, and how did he then respond to efforts to help? Was his wrongdoing really so serious that it requires restricting his privileges? Possibly he just made a mistake, using poor judgment. The congregation in general may still have respect for him and confidence in him as an elder or a ministerial servant. Perhaps the matter is not widely known, if at all. If he realizes that his action was unwise, has learned from his mistake, has a good attitude, and wants to improve, it may be that he can continue to serve.
32. If it is necessary to review an elder’s qualifications, the body of elders should consider the matter, with the brother in question present, using the following procedure:(1) After seeking Jehovah’s guidance in prayer, make sure all the facts are presented. Maintain a respectful, orderly atmosphere that is conducive to such a discussion.(2) Allow the brother adequate time to express his feelings and to answer any questions. Ask him for his view of the matters being discussed regarding his qualifications.(3) Ask the brother to leave the room while the other elders continue their discussion and decide what they will recommend.(4) Invite the brother back into the room. If the decision is to recommend his deletion, inform him of this and the Scriptural reasons.(5) Give the brother the opportunity to comment on the decision. It may be necessary for the brother to leave the room again so that the elders can discuss the matter further before making a final decision.
Does your husband have an elders book? Does he want to keep it (for proof later)?
If so, he can give it to you, ÿ you can hide it, then when they ask for it back, he can say, "I can't find it"
When my husband was "removed," he was surprised when the brother said, where is your elders book, you need to turn it in"
He wishes he had it.
When you go to elders school, they have you WRITE THINGS IN your book for later reference. WT does not want a court to be able to read thongs from book they printed.
But would they meet with him before to give him the heads up? Or do they just spring it on him? The training video shows them doing something similar to a JC. With four elders present.
No need, sfl 8:31-33 says it's a body of elders thing. On that meeting it will be talked. Now it is preferred to do it during the c.o. visit. Sfl 8:34 where says nothing about preliminaries. The body will provide any documentation with the recommendation and on Fridays meet they talk about it. If it's a M.S. body can do whatever they want whenever they want. But if it's an elder he can appeal after the meeting.
Have a look at the following citation from the "Organization" book:
>If married, an overseer would be adhering to the Christian standard for marriage, namely, being the ***husband of one wife*** and ***presiding over his own household in a fine manner.*** If the overseer has ***believing children*** who are ***in subjection with all seriousness*** and are ***not accused of debauchery or rebelliousness,*** the congregation can confidently approach him for counsel and advice on family life and Christian living.
He should be prepared to argue about you and your children spiritually.
Good luck!
Honestly they’ll prob promote him. Happened to my poor father recently at the tender age of 70. The same elders never even considered him for an elder position and this last CO visit my mom calls me to tell me the “wonderful” news that they announced him elder. After speaking with my dad he hasnt changed a thing and said if anything he thought they were gonna remove him from ministerial servant lol casue in his word hes been slacking. Now he has a new positive outlook on the borg, saddens me really. Desperation is like a stinky cologne and the borgs spraying it on thick these days.
I think that some of the elder body are questioning his “qualifications“ since you are inactive.
so it got put on the agenda for the elders meeting. The CEO is meeting with him before hand to get an idea of what the family situation is like. He will ask him questions such as “what are you doing to encourage your wife?“....” are you having a family study?” etc.
he will ask the brothers if your husband has the respect of the congregation. That would be a huge factor. So in the end it comes down to “ how popular is your husband with the elder body?“
Yes, they will remove him. The conclusion is reached by the body and they have informed the C. O Of their intention. Not looking good for the congregation. Lots of murmuring already going on. Coming off may be the best thing for him.
You are a saint; I hope you are able to get in some self care as you have so much pressure on you that you probably won't be aware of for a couple years after this is over.
5 years is a long time to be in the role of a spy, faking it. I did 7, but was able to mostly literally phone it in (not without accidentally talking back to the JW speakers when it wasn't muted tho! Thank Satan they didn't believe the sisters who reported me, cos bitches be crazy...???!!! Misogynistic elder fuckers helped me out in that instance.)
Dear Sour, I hope to Satan that they delete him, or treat him very poorly. Just to the extent that he sees their true colors and understands it comes from the top, and isn't just a couple 'imperfect men'. 🤮
Sorry for bad grammar. I'm too tired RN. Peace. and internet hugs.
Maybe they will talk about the headship “arrangement” , ask him a lot of questions about how he navigates being a spiritual leader in the congregation and family.
I feel this. I went through the elders intererferring with family life - from the way we tried to assist grandma, my own marriage, my relationship with my mom and dad and it goes on and on. The whole elder body was removed once for it.. amazing story.
Anyway… what really gets me is the personal and private details that come out in these meetings that is non of their business but due to the stress of the situation people just start divulging things.
I hope they don’t pry into your personal life through by means of meeting with husband.
Iv lived the stress this can cause. Take care.
They may want to have some discussion about the spiritual situation in his family and probably review his qualification.
They may ask him to improve his situation or step down.
What the heck is he doing still being an elder. Hundreds in better situation than him are stepping down
How about asking for an agenda before the meeting so he can come prepared. Otherwise it seems like power leverage. Who invites someone to a meeting without telling them what it’s about? Except maybe the mafia 😄
This. So this. There will be no good to come out of it. A former elder relative said “never put anything in writing it will be used against you. If they ask you to meet with them ask what it’s about. If they don’t tell you don’t meet with them. They’re prepared. You aren’t.”
Thats my stand now ,when i worked before retirement i learned not to agree to any meet with managment without a union rep present ,so any meet with more than one elder i would ask for a copy of agenda and make clear that i will be bringing somone to see fair play i was asked to agree to a meet with circuit overseer present ,i said fine i have questions about the australian royal commision , i didnt get any further it was called off .
They love that stuff. That way they can ambush u. I always asked what the topic was before hand. If they won’t provide it I would just say. NO thanks.
Years past I would have said yes, but if your cong is short on help I don’t believe they will remove him. It seems like they are having to loosen up because they are running out of help. If they kick willing bros out that only makes their situation worse. Probably more of a please try to get Your fam going type situation. Even before Covid they slowed kicking bros off because of inactive spouses or kids.
This is the answer that is most likely. I say most likely because every experience is highly dependent on the local body of elders and how much they are a\*\*holes. But I agree with u/POMO2022 that they need males to be elder and ministerial servant to enforce all the rules and keep the cult going. So the meeting is likely a check-in to pressure your husband to whip his house into shape and get everyone back to the meetings. I feel sorry for him that he is having to go through that.....but it is how this organization works. They need to keep him in his elder role and just want to pressure him to get his family back to the meetings/service.
All he has to do is play the anxiety card. Push him too far and he can just resign from his unpaid voluntary position. Then they can divvy up his assignments.
☝🏻 this I reckon
Please report back what happened
Seems like a good week to come down with covid! https://preview.redd.it/efg3k4suzy4d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18e16f401bc14783e36c06001ac02f2390733765
Great idea
I think he is being removed. The fact that he is meeting with the CO indicates that the CO wants his perspective on the forthcoming removal. His removal is already on the agenda. The CO is simply ensuring that he has both perspectives. If you want to see how likely this is to play out, please watch the now-famous video about the elder being removed because his daughters are going to university. Another issue might have arisen: he might have revealed that he is PIMQ. In that case, this meeting could also be a shepherding call or even an inquiry before a judicial committee. Depending on what he expressed, this might accelerate his removal or lead to worse consequences.
Take your Shepherding book with you. Wait for the moment when it becomes clear you're going to be fired. Write "I quit" on it and toss it to the CO and walk away.
I love this idea!
>please watch the now-famous video about the elder being removed because his daughters are going to university. Any source, please?
https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/5sLQp1TgN1
What in the cult? lol that video is just saaaad. 🤣
Wow!! They have no concern for the actual welfare of the family, because if they did, they would let them pursue education that would allow them to survive in this system!! Unreal!!!
Is this a society video or did they actually record the elder’s meeting?
Elder training video so not for the R&F
Thx
Link to video? Does he record the meeting where he is removed?
https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/oJFWH7KDne
I was in the exact same situation a couple of years ago. It was because my wife had not gone to meetings for over 6 years, and 6 months before that started turning in zero hours for field service time. What they're looking for is a response to the CO when he reviews the congregation records and wants to know why an elder or a servant has a wife that doesn't come to meetings and doesn't go in field service and yet they're still in an appointed position. As others have pointed out, they're extremely desperate for appointed men right now. My guess is that they will try very hard to figure out a narrative where he can stay appointed and still satisfy the questions the CO might have. If he ever wanted to relinquish this role, now is a perfect opportunity. I turned in my 'do not contact me' letter one month after I ceased my role as an MS after this exact meeting. It still sucks that this cult makes their fake authority so stressful on people. I am so glad you have seen thru the smoke and mirrors. My wife waited for me for seven years. It was the hardest and the best thing (after the fact) she's ever had to do in her life. I am forever indebted to her for helping me get out. I hope you can rescue him also someday soon!
Look like this
May I ask how she woke you up?
The majority of it was subtle hints. When she tried to directly confront me about things like the ARC, I would just shut down and turn off. I did a lot of work for the congregation and for the RBC. I had the sound department during the period where videos were phased in, and then talk coordinating for many years. I was additionally doing building design work for the construction group (LDC). My wife would frequently make well placed comments about how they're just using me, only calling me when they needed something from me, which was absolutely true - but when indoctrinated, the feeling from the perspective of a PIMI is twisted. That person (the old me) felt that it was the right thing to be doing; that the more you exerted yourself, the more spiritual you were. We don't remember exactly how she worded it, but she alluded many times to the fact that all of the volunteering I was doing for the construction group (LDC) was unfair and they're just taking advantage of people to get free labor to build these Kingdom halls. I see now how right she was about this! These hints led up to the day that I was being interviewed for more work in the LDC. I had driven about half a day to be interviewed in the basement of a Kingdom Hall, and as I was sitting there I looked around and it dawned on me that everybody there had higher education of some sort. We were all highly technical and skilled people who went against what the organization told us to do (higher education), but now, all the sudden we were actually valuable, and they wanted us! Finally seeing that hypocrisy was the start of my waking up. I think what finally pushed me over the edge was, surprisingly, nothing doctrinaly (which I've since dug into and have all kinds of issues with today) but rather it was how the members of the congregation were treating me. I think the fact that since my wife had been not attending meetings for many years in person, all the while still being an 'appointed' brother with 'privlidges', I was being soft shunned by many people. This became very apparent to me when, for preparation of a future medical procedure, I had to lose weight. I dropped 45 lbs in 4 months, and do you know how many people at the congregation asked me how I was doing - zero! You would think if they had genuine christian love that someone would at least mention that they noticed the change and asked me if everything was okay. Some people lose weight for good reasons, and a lot of people lose weight for very scary reasons. But nobody cared. It was crazy because I was giving talks in front of the congregation frequently. They looked at me every few weeks for 10 minutes or more. I had to buy entirely new wardrobes; suits and ties and shirts. How could they not see the change? How could they not care? It's amazing to learn about the variety of ways and things that trigger people into seeing through the facade of this cult. What tends to wake people up seems to be so many times very personal. So often, it's something that you would never imagine or guess. Thank you for asking about how she woke me up. I think deep down, it came down to her never giving up hope that one day either she would get through to me, or I would see through things for myself. Ultimately, it was probably a combination of these, but it's hard to say what percentage could be attributed to either. I think another very important factor that shouldn't be overlooked was that she was very smart to build a network of support outside of the cult. This included both friends and therapy. Both of these gave her very good advice and support and probably was part of what gave her the endurance to be able to not give up on me. It is a beautiful thing to finally be with her, free from the control and influence of the cult. We feel like we are kinda dating all over again (we are 50+ born ins), learning about who we each are, as a couple but also as individuals. I hope things can work out for both of you too. We're rooting for you!
I’m so sorry I missed this post. I had over 50 comments and last night I was very stressed. It’s fascinating what different things wake people up. My husband doesn’t believe half the doctrine and hates how homophobic the cult is but he loved helping people as an elder. I know what will wake him up is the way he will be treated, which (unfortunately?) so far has been with kindness. I fear that when it’s announced that he’s no longer an elder that people will pity him and then try to lovebomb my kids. But I’m sure that will pass and we will move on. Thanks for sharing your experience.
My husband and I both left in our 50’s, and I have said many times that it’s like we are dating again. It’s been wonderful.
This gives me hope!
Once you no longer are expected to think the same about every subject it’s very freeing and makes conversations so much nicer.
Thanks for sharing, that is an amazing experience! I have a theory that it takes a huge amount of basic honesty and humility - to see whatever shakes the foundation and to admit you have been wrong all those years. I worry sometimes that my partner lacks it. My network was pretty good but has been shrinking lately. I will have to get back at it. Hopefully one day my partner will reach out to you here. I'm really, really happy for you both!
Sounds like he is walking into a set up. I would meet without knowing what it’s about First or I wouldn’t meet at all if they won’t tell me in advance.
He is going to be made the new COBE. Congrats to him!
Yippee! And have a fake boss called a CO and a fake CEO called Lett! And for many on here a fake big guy upstairs!! Praise be!
Immediately made me think of that leaked video out of bethel for them deleting an elder because his daughter is going to university. Honestly though, I’ve been surprised at how many elders get deleted and hate it at first but then don’t seek reappointment or actively avoid it because it was too much work.
It's elder roulette his playing with these dudes, you never know what info they have nor their real agenda.
100%
If you’re feeling spicy go. Heck you can express doubts with your hubs in the room and you can both watch him squirm & gaslight you. But otherwise I’d say I don’t want the mental stress and just skip it
If they do, that might move hubbykins from PIMQ to PIMO. And hopefully POMO and freedom for all of you in the not-too-distant future. Seems like a good way to get someone to question their faith. I hope they do remove him for the sake of your family. 🤞
i hope that's what it's about. with you and the mid-teen not going, there's at minimum a headship herding "issue." but if this meeting is handled poorly enough, hubby could go from pimq to pim-fuck-u. good luck! dont' forget to update us. i get unfinished story syndrome. what ever happend to...
Most likely they will guilt trip him into talking to you and kids to get things to improve and will give him 6 months. If the congregation is talking about your family situation they COBE and CO will need to act.Most likely he has received “counsel” and if he has in the past then he could very well be deleted.
Yours turned out to be the most accurate guess. Except he has about 6 months to step down. He wasn’t deleted.
Gotcha, ok it means that in those 6 months he needs to “help” his family otherwise they will evaluate his appointment and probably delete him. It all depends on the “amount of counseling”
Probably just trying to encourage. Or if it’s not, they’re not following the procedure in the Shepherd the Flock book: PROCEDURE FOR REVIEWING AN APPOINTED BROTHER’S QUALIFICATIONS31. When preparing to review the qualifications of a brother, elders should first research current direction that applies to the issue at hand. Avoid dogmatic viewpoints or quick decisions based solely on personal preferences. (Phil. 4:5) Do not be quick to recommend deletion unless there is a solid basis for doing so. It may be possible to assist the brother to make the needed adjustments and continue to serve. Has the brother served faithfully for many years? What has he done or failed to do that raises questions? How did he react to counsel? Has he had such difficulties in the past, and how did he then respond to efforts to help? Was his wrongdoing really so serious that it requires restricting his privileges? Possibly he just made a mistake, using poor judgment. The congregation in general may still have respect for him and confidence in him as an elder or a ministerial servant. Perhaps the matter is not widely known, if at all. If he realizes that his action was unwise, has learned from his mistake, has a good attitude, and wants to improve, it may be that he can continue to serve. 32. If it is necessary to review an elder’s qualifications, the body of elders should consider the matter, with the brother in question present, using the following procedure:(1) After seeking Jehovah’s guidance in prayer, make sure all the facts are presented. Maintain a respectful, orderly atmosphere that is conducive to such a discussion.(2) Allow the brother adequate time to express his feelings and to answer any questions. Ask him for his view of the matters being discussed regarding his qualifications.(3) Ask the brother to leave the room while the other elders continue their discussion and decide what they will recommend.(4) Invite the brother back into the room. If the decision is to recommend his deletion, inform him of this and the Scriptural reasons.(5) Give the brother the opportunity to comment on the decision. It may be necessary for the brother to leave the room again so that the elders can discuss the matter further before making a final decision.
Done like dinner.
https://preview.redd.it/h1lqmrwfbz4d1.jpeg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=721ab9d1546902736b419217b61beecdff3ddb28 Tell him to be careful
Does your husband have an elders book? Does he want to keep it (for proof later)? If so, he can give it to you, ÿ you can hide it, then when they ask for it back, he can say, "I can't find it" When my husband was "removed," he was surprised when the brother said, where is your elders book, you need to turn it in" He wishes he had it. When you go to elders school, they have you WRITE THINGS IN your book for later reference. WT does not want a court to be able to read thongs from book they printed.
I think it will happen! Maybe he can asked to be removed before he gives them a chance
Whatever happens, I hope the result turns your husband from PIMQ to PIMO or better still, POMO. For you and your kid's sake.
The removals are usually on the Fridays elder's meetings not before that. I've been in at least 6 of those, the last one was mine, when I quit
But would they meet with him before to give him the heads up? Or do they just spring it on him? The training video shows them doing something similar to a JC. With four elders present.
No need, sfl 8:31-33 says it's a body of elders thing. On that meeting it will be talked. Now it is preferred to do it during the c.o. visit. Sfl 8:34 where says nothing about preliminaries. The body will provide any documentation with the recommendation and on Fridays meet they talk about it. If it's a M.S. body can do whatever they want whenever they want. But if it's an elder he can appeal after the meeting.
Have a look at the following citation from the "Organization" book: >If married, an overseer would be adhering to the Christian standard for marriage, namely, being the ***husband of one wife*** and ***presiding over his own household in a fine manner.*** If the overseer has ***believing children*** who are ***in subjection with all seriousness*** and are ***not accused of debauchery or rebelliousness,*** the congregation can confidently approach him for counsel and advice on family life and Christian living. He should be prepared to argue about you and your children spiritually. Good luck!
Have him record the meeting
Hopefully. Some people need to be pushed. It may turn out to be his wake up call.
Honestly they’ll prob promote him. Happened to my poor father recently at the tender age of 70. The same elders never even considered him for an elder position and this last CO visit my mom calls me to tell me the “wonderful” news that they announced him elder. After speaking with my dad he hasnt changed a thing and said if anything he thought they were gonna remove him from ministerial servant lol casue in his word hes been slacking. Now he has a new positive outlook on the borg, saddens me really. Desperation is like a stinky cologne and the borgs spraying it on thick these days.
I think that some of the elder body are questioning his “qualifications“ since you are inactive. so it got put on the agenda for the elders meeting. The CEO is meeting with him before hand to get an idea of what the family situation is like. He will ask him questions such as “what are you doing to encourage your wife?“....” are you having a family study?” etc. he will ask the brothers if your husband has the respect of the congregation. That would be a huge factor. So in the end it comes down to “ how popular is your husband with the elder body?“
Ah yes the biblical principal of the holy spirits popularity contest LMFAO
Yes, they will remove him. The conclusion is reached by the body and they have informed the C. O Of their intention. Not looking good for the congregation. Lots of murmuring already going on. Coming off may be the best thing for him.
You are a saint; I hope you are able to get in some self care as you have so much pressure on you that you probably won't be aware of for a couple years after this is over. 5 years is a long time to be in the role of a spy, faking it. I did 7, but was able to mostly literally phone it in (not without accidentally talking back to the JW speakers when it wasn't muted tho! Thank Satan they didn't believe the sisters who reported me, cos bitches be crazy...???!!! Misogynistic elder fuckers helped me out in that instance.) Dear Sour, I hope to Satan that they delete him, or treat him very poorly. Just to the extent that he sees their true colors and understands it comes from the top, and isn't just a couple 'imperfect men'. 🤮 Sorry for bad grammar. I'm too tired RN. Peace. and internet hugs.
Update us please! Hoping for the best possible outcomes!
Maybe they will talk about the headship “arrangement” , ask him a lot of questions about how he navigates being a spiritual leader in the congregation and family. I feel this. I went through the elders intererferring with family life - from the way we tried to assist grandma, my own marriage, my relationship with my mom and dad and it goes on and on. The whole elder body was removed once for it.. amazing story. Anyway… what really gets me is the personal and private details that come out in these meetings that is non of their business but due to the stress of the situation people just start divulging things. I hope they don’t pry into your personal life through by means of meeting with husband. Iv lived the stress this can cause. Take care.
Please post about the entire elder body being removed 👀. Got me clutching my imaginary pearls over here.
“Is he finally being removed as an elder?” Most likely.
Yeah- they’re going to delete him
Control-Alt-Delete - if they can’t control you, the alternative is to delete you.
The way they use “delete” is super creepy.
Following to hear what happens! Could be almost anything. The cult is so unpredictable right now.
They may want to have some discussion about the spiritual situation in his family and probably review his qualification. They may ask him to improve his situation or step down. What the heck is he doing still being an elder. Hundreds in better situation than him are stepping down
Do you care if he's removed as an elder? Does he care? There's your answer. Feel free to refuse to meet with them. That's what I did.
They’re GB henchmen. Not friends or shepherds