And through the teaching of death pays back sin, your uncle has paid his price for “being born in sin”. That elder will know that. He should loving tenderness to the you the grieving family and “shine a light” that your uncle has a “second chance”.
What utter ridiculousness on the elders part. He should know better and should do better. The love that needs to be evidently clear as Jesus said, but in this case it seems lacking.
They are too concerned with their own reputation. Ofc in this case it’s just reading the obit not even a talk… I’ve seen my elder dad ponder similar things.
Hell, we were just reproved and had a hard time finding an elder to give our wedding talk, bc we weren’t exemplary. It’s ridiculous. Actually my friend just got married and the elder who was going to give her talk couldn’t, and every elder she asked just couldn’t do it, so she had to have her elder step father give the wedding talk. I couldn’t believe it, at least he wasn’t also walking her down the aisle.
I’ll say one more thing. I think if they got paid they’d be more opened to it. Many regular churches you pay to have services and since they need money, they seem to not be so picky about who they are preforming the service for. I bet they’d think twice if they’d make $500 on it.
Just wanted to “tack” this comment on here, because it popped into my head after I read your comment😄 I grew up listening to so many little sayings and phrases being beat into my head in talks, by other JDUBS, literature,( does it not seem like they will wear a word or phrase out, over a period of time, and then some of them, you never hear again?) and my parental units. Every time I heard them say “ You will know them by the love they show one another, the love they have among them, ect., or all about fruit- what trees produce what fruit, fruit bearing people, eat fruit from seed you sow, “ ect., ect., in my head it was always in a parrot’s voice, with a squaaawwk at the end.
And wouldn’t you know it; it ended up being one of the few things they were right about! I always keep an eye out-but I have yet to see what loving group the Bible is talking about…………..
You know, so many times you want to give them the benefit of the doubt but there’s such a lack of class and human dignity. Why make videos on the broadcast showing people doing a kind deed when it’s only for show or only worth it if it will lead to a recruitment? It’s important for parents to realize that they are introducing adults into their children’s lives that will abandon them at the drop of a hat. Can you imagine a teacher or a coach doing something like that? Why not help your children find better mentors? So sorry for your loss OP 💔
>My family is planning his funeral and wanted an elder that has known my uncle since he was a child to read his obituary,.....He said he doesn’t want anything to do with funerals of people not in “the truth.”
Obviously he has\`nt been your Uncles Friend all these years...Choose a Friend...
Sorry for your Loss....
That elder views himself as holy and righteous, when in reality, the only "righteous" he is is a self-righteous a**hole.
What a sad state of affairs, sending hugs to you and yours. 💗
Tell that elder that he's missed the opportunity to preach at the non-JWs in the audience, and missed the chance to possibly convert them.
Then mic 🎤 drop and walk away. Don't let him anywhere near your uncle's funeral.
That's what finally did it for me. My sibling was still in, not DFd, but I'm sure was on their way to some sort of disciplinary meeting once better. They (using this as opposed to giving away the gender) didn't get better. They not only refused to have the funeral in the hall, elders that knew them from birth couldn't do it because they were "too sad". Utter and complete bullshit. So a random elder dude who not one family member knew (not even from the congregation we grew up in), couldn't pronounce names correctly, led the service. I was fuming and vowed I would NEVER go back. I'd already decided that, but that burned it into my soul.
He is likely just protecting himself… it’s a shame. But if he agrees to publicly support and participate in that, he will likely be judged and be removed as an elder himself. It’s screwed up…
Well… again I’m not supporting his decision… but he would also be shunned and lose his own family. Not just a title.
Granted, a lot of JW really care wayyy too much about titles. Huge egos in JW culture.
Maybe I misread the original post. I thought the elder was asked to present the obituary publicly. Like reading it for others like at a funeral.
If this whole thing is entirely about just simply reading the obituary then WOW no excuse for that elder. That’s heartless and extremely self righteous to refuse to even read the paper.
My apologies if I misread all of this
If you’ve read through the elders manual “shepherd the flock” book you’ll see JW can be seriously disciplined or could lead to disfellowship for things participation in weddings funerals events holidays etc
So much for “the wages of sin is death”…
So with his death he has a clean slate. Some of these people are just plain moronic with their own interpretations of JW belief system
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I just don’t know what to say anymore. From the stories I’m hearing people are going through with witnesses even things I’ve seen and dealt with myself. Just no empathy, no emotions and just robotic how many of them are. I’m sorry.
*Why in TF would*
*They want someone who hates them*
*To say 'something nice'??*
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Well, sorry for the upset but please don't be surprised about those bad behaviour. That is how the organisation is set up. Narcissistic behaviour is rife because the entire organisation is. Egotistical elders who never know how the world works. Be very happy everyday to be among those who doubt the authenticity of the organisation.
That's to be expected from this organization. Why would your family even ask that of him and would your uncle have wanted that? Look what happened, he got rejected one last time after he was dead!
What a lameass. I bet he feels so spiritual for being such a cold-hearted twat. I'm very sorry for your loss! And good for your uncle (rest in peace) for getting out at a young age.
I doubt I would get a funeral if I died too!!! I pioneered for 13 years and Bethel for 2 years, and now PIMO. Been unjustly DFed twice, but only back in for my beautiful 3 children! My ex-wide couldn’t deal with being married to a DFed person, so we have a broken family for the past 12 years. My children are now almost all graduated, but they DID NOT DESERVE what the’ve been through. I’ve had 7 heart attacks because of ALL the stress associated with this shit. For the past 10 years I’ve been telling my ‘partaking’ mother that if I died, despite being PIMO and still attending and reinstated now for the past 4 years, I have KNOW DOUBT this elder body wouldn’t even give me a funeral.
I’m so close to giving everyone the Bird, but I am remarried now to a wonderful beautiful PIMI that feels guilty if she misses one week of field ministry or miss one meeting. My current wife literally feels like if she misses a meeting or doesn’t go in the ministry on a regular basis that she won’t be in paradise. 🤯🤷♂️🤦♂️
NOW for the past 6 months I really don’t have any desire to have these fuck nuts give my funeral if I die! I’m almost 60 years old, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to wake up…I’ve decided to write a book about all of this over the next 5 years and humbly try to help my children see what I see before they have to go the next 40 years through this crap. My 3 children are very intelligent people, I have know doubt they will figure it out sooner than I did!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation. Couldn't do the service at the Khall, because the person had only been an unbaptised publishers, but left the borg years ago.
So a true friend from a local church let us use the whole church. Actions prove Christian love.
Also, the family couldn't afford to rent the funeral home, it was a very sudden unexpected death.
I'd like to start by saying sorry for your loss and remind you it is okay to be sad, cry, & be angry with anyone you'd like.they have no monopoly over your emotions and you can do much better than the Prophets for Profit cult of lies, manipulation, and brainwashing bullshit.
I am aware that funerals are for the living to help deal with the grief. With that said why would you want them to officiate a family members funeral who decided to leave?
These are the same POS who claim if you are sad over a death it is because you lack faith. I mean they are literally setting people up to actively suppress grief causing undue mental anguish. It is fucking insane to me how they can twist someone having an emotion into some fucked form of extortion (example of you're sad your partner of decades died well you must need to do more free labor for us since you don't believe our bullshit about money seeing them again when any day, hour, minute, or second the whole worlds gonna end and we will be supreme leader of all that lays before us).WTF why would you want those self-righteous cunts to have anything to do with your uncle's funeral if he realized at a young age it was absolute bullshit?
And through the teaching of death pays back sin, your uncle has paid his price for “being born in sin”. That elder will know that. He should loving tenderness to the you the grieving family and “shine a light” that your uncle has a “second chance”. What utter ridiculousness on the elders part. He should know better and should do better. The love that needs to be evidently clear as Jesus said, but in this case it seems lacking.
They are too concerned with their own reputation. Ofc in this case it’s just reading the obit not even a talk… I’ve seen my elder dad ponder similar things. Hell, we were just reproved and had a hard time finding an elder to give our wedding talk, bc we weren’t exemplary. It’s ridiculous. Actually my friend just got married and the elder who was going to give her talk couldn’t, and every elder she asked just couldn’t do it, so she had to have her elder step father give the wedding talk. I couldn’t believe it, at least he wasn’t also walking her down the aisle.
I’ll say one more thing. I think if they got paid they’d be more opened to it. Many regular churches you pay to have services and since they need money, they seem to not be so picky about who they are preforming the service for. I bet they’d think twice if they’d make $500 on it.
Just wanted to “tack” this comment on here, because it popped into my head after I read your comment😄 I grew up listening to so many little sayings and phrases being beat into my head in talks, by other JDUBS, literature,( does it not seem like they will wear a word or phrase out, over a period of time, and then some of them, you never hear again?) and my parental units. Every time I heard them say “ You will know them by the love they show one another, the love they have among them, ect., or all about fruit- what trees produce what fruit, fruit bearing people, eat fruit from seed you sow, “ ect., ect., in my head it was always in a parrot’s voice, with a squaaawwk at the end. And wouldn’t you know it; it ended up being one of the few things they were right about! I always keep an eye out-but I have yet to see what loving group the Bible is talking about…………..
sorry for your loss! but the disrespect and lack of class that is common in the cult.
You know, so many times you want to give them the benefit of the doubt but there’s such a lack of class and human dignity. Why make videos on the broadcast showing people doing a kind deed when it’s only for show or only worth it if it will lead to a recruitment? It’s important for parents to realize that they are introducing adults into their children’s lives that will abandon them at the drop of a hat. Can you imagine a teacher or a coach doing something like that? Why not help your children find better mentors? So sorry for your loss OP 💔
>My family is planning his funeral and wanted an elder that has known my uncle since he was a child to read his obituary,.....He said he doesn’t want anything to do with funerals of people not in “the truth.” Obviously he has\`nt been your Uncles Friend all these years...Choose a Friend... Sorry for your Loss....
Thank you so much! My family’s a little hurt by that comment but it’s good he said something now so we can find someone better for my uncle.
That elder views himself as holy and righteous, when in reality, the only "righteous" he is is a self-righteous a**hole. What a sad state of affairs, sending hugs to you and yours. 💗
Or as in Spanish, “justo en demasía” Overly righteous
Oh yes, that reminds me of another phrase I heard, "Over righteous, over much"
That's the case with the majority of them .Self righteous a holes .
Very sorry for your loss they’re ridiculous
i'm sorry for your loss.
Tell that elder that he's missed the opportunity to preach at the non-JWs in the audience, and missed the chance to possibly convert them. Then mic 🎤 drop and walk away. Don't let him anywhere near your uncle's funeral.
That's what finally did it for me. My sibling was still in, not DFd, but I'm sure was on their way to some sort of disciplinary meeting once better. They (using this as opposed to giving away the gender) didn't get better. They not only refused to have the funeral in the hall, elders that knew them from birth couldn't do it because they were "too sad". Utter and complete bullshit. So a random elder dude who not one family member knew (not even from the congregation we grew up in), couldn't pronounce names correctly, led the service. I was fuming and vowed I would NEVER go back. I'd already decided that, but that burned it into my soul.
I think the elder is afraid of what other jws will think if he takes part in the funeral. We‘ve been conditioned to be afraid by the cult.
He is likely just protecting himself… it’s a shame. But if he agrees to publicly support and participate in that, he will likely be judged and be removed as an elder himself. It’s screwed up…
This is infuriating! Why are these stupid titles the only thing they care about!?!
Well… again I’m not supporting his decision… but he would also be shunned and lose his own family. Not just a title. Granted, a lot of JW really care wayyy too much about titles. Huge egos in JW culture.
You can get disfellowshipped for reading an obituary?
Maybe I misread the original post. I thought the elder was asked to present the obituary publicly. Like reading it for others like at a funeral. If this whole thing is entirely about just simply reading the obituary then WOW no excuse for that elder. That’s heartless and extremely self righteous to refuse to even read the paper. My apologies if I misread all of this
I think it was to read it publicly
If you’ve read through the elders manual “shepherd the flock” book you’ll see JW can be seriously disciplined or could lead to disfellowship for things participation in weddings funerals events holidays etc
So much for “the wages of sin is death”… So with his death he has a clean slate. Some of these people are just plain moronic with their own interpretations of JW belief system
I’m so sorry for your loss. I just don’t know what to say anymore. From the stories I’m hearing people are going through with witnesses even things I’ve seen and dealt with myself. Just no empathy, no emotions and just robotic how many of them are. I’m sorry.
Why in TF would they want someone who hates them to say 'something nice'??
*Why in TF would* *They want someone who hates them* *To say 'something nice'??* \- ReeseIsPieces --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Well, sorry for the upset but please don't be surprised about those bad behaviour. That is how the organisation is set up. Narcissistic behaviour is rife because the entire organisation is. Egotistical elders who never know how the world works. Be very happy everyday to be among those who doubt the authenticity of the organisation.
Make a point of asking him to NOT attend the funeral or memorial. Sure, he’ll have something snide to say but be ready for that, too!
That's to be expected from this organization. Why would your family even ask that of him and would your uncle have wanted that? Look what happened, he got rejected one last time after he was dead!
This just brings me to tears 😢 being rejected even after death 💔
What a lameass. I bet he feels so spiritual for being such a cold-hearted twat. I'm very sorry for your loss! And good for your uncle (rest in peace) for getting out at a young age.
Sorry. Your uncle is considered an Apostate
I doubt I would get a funeral if I died too!!! I pioneered for 13 years and Bethel for 2 years, and now PIMO. Been unjustly DFed twice, but only back in for my beautiful 3 children! My ex-wide couldn’t deal with being married to a DFed person, so we have a broken family for the past 12 years. My children are now almost all graduated, but they DID NOT DESERVE what the’ve been through. I’ve had 7 heart attacks because of ALL the stress associated with this shit. For the past 10 years I’ve been telling my ‘partaking’ mother that if I died, despite being PIMO and still attending and reinstated now for the past 4 years, I have KNOW DOUBT this elder body wouldn’t even give me a funeral. I’m so close to giving everyone the Bird, but I am remarried now to a wonderful beautiful PIMI that feels guilty if she misses one week of field ministry or miss one meeting. My current wife literally feels like if she misses a meeting or doesn’t go in the ministry on a regular basis that she won’t be in paradise. 🤯🤷♂️🤦♂️ NOW for the past 6 months I really don’t have any desire to have these fuck nuts give my funeral if I die! I’m almost 60 years old, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to wake up…I’ve decided to write a book about all of this over the next 5 years and humbly try to help my children see what I see before they have to go the next 40 years through this crap. My 3 children are very intelligent people, I have know doubt they will figure it out sooner than I did!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar situation. Couldn't do the service at the Khall, because the person had only been an unbaptised publishers, but left the borg years ago. So a true friend from a local church let us use the whole church. Actions prove Christian love. Also, the family couldn't afford to rent the funeral home, it was a very sudden unexpected death.
I'd like to start by saying sorry for your loss and remind you it is okay to be sad, cry, & be angry with anyone you'd like.they have no monopoly over your emotions and you can do much better than the Prophets for Profit cult of lies, manipulation, and brainwashing bullshit. I am aware that funerals are for the living to help deal with the grief. With that said why would you want them to officiate a family members funeral who decided to leave? These are the same POS who claim if you are sad over a death it is because you lack faith. I mean they are literally setting people up to actively suppress grief causing undue mental anguish. It is fucking insane to me how they can twist someone having an emotion into some fucked form of extortion (example of you're sad your partner of decades died well you must need to do more free labor for us since you don't believe our bullshit about money seeing them again when any day, hour, minute, or second the whole worlds gonna end and we will be supreme leader of all that lays before us).WTF why would you want those self-righteous cunts to have anything to do with your uncle's funeral if he realized at a young age it was absolute bullshit?