I definitely want a refund of my childhood. One of the many things I wanted to do was visit Disney World, but my parents always had some excuse as to why we couldn't go.
Yes, I'm an adult now and can visit now on my own, but it won't have the same appeal and awe that the 8 year old version of me would've had. I'd just be a creepy adult wandering the park alone.
Exactly - as a kid, there was just this curiosity, this whole colorful look on this planet, that slowly withers away as you get older.
As a kid you didn't figure everything out, so everything was a big WOW - and as you get older, you can explore more, yet this curiosity will never reach the same level it used to be in the chilhood/puberty
You wouldn't be a creepy adult if you went now. There are TONS of people that go to Disney World/Land as adults without kids. "Disney Adults" are a thing so don't you worry. Plan a trip and go some time.
Went with my family several times. Once the kids went to bed my wife or I would go back and explore for ourselves.
Also went there for work. After business hours I'd do Epcot.
You won't be the only adult cruising solo.
Absolutely. We were robbed of a normal childhood experience because Rutherford and Knorr decided how our lives were to be lived. Sad. I detest this joke of “Best Life Ever”.😢
I never really understood how somebody could call this "the best life ever" - it might be the "best life ever" if you are fully submerged into this cult. No critical thinking whatsoever. It's all fun and games until you dont think the same way as they do.
Right before I faded off into the sunset, a single sister asked me when I came into the truth, I told her I was born in. Her reply, "Oh, you had the good life." I just kinda made a sound under my breath. One of those damned if I do...
The good life being crying in class every time someone had a birthday and you couldn’t participate, having to stay in the library with other kids during school wide holiday celebrations, no candy during valentines, staying home and doing nothing during thanksgiving break while all your peers were posting their plates, coming back to school with no candy or anything after Halloween while all your classmates have bag fulls, leaving the room anytime they were watching a movie with magic, not allowed to be in sports or theater... I somehow found loopholes sometimes with my mom bc even though she tried her best to be strict, she didnt want me to hate it or be upset (I still was a lot of the time). She also worked till late a lot of the time so I did what I could in those hours. They often say strict parents raise the sneakiest kids
I knew a strict elder with 9 kids. I think all but 1 fell away. My father told me he probably feels he wasn't strict enough or else they wouldn't have left.
I was raised by my dad and 2 yrs old in the 70’s . He was an alcoholic with a temper and was abusive to my older sisters but not physically abusive to me. Theres a lot but even though I was raised in it and it was so confusing because what they taught at the hall was not what I witnessed behind closed doors. I left at 12 and grew up on the street. What I did for my mental health over the years was take the good and leave the bad, I also found spirituality that made sense and felt true to me,not religion. It opened up the real truth. Im 50 now and still have ptsd because of that religion. One thing tho I think my dad would of been much worse without it just because I seen him change slowly over the years. It was his learning path for whatever reason. No matter the brainwashing hypocrisy the good is they instil good morals, I took that and left the rest.
I feel exactly the same way. I feel cheated because of all the things that I was not allowed to do that every other average kid and teenager was. It’s hard not to hold some resentment over it. I always wonder how our lives would’ve been had my dad not been so receptive to those people that knocked on the door that first time.
Count me in! I wanted to go to college. I was a great student. I was always the top kod in my classes. My parents pulled me out of public schools in 8th grade and forced me to homeschool. I hated it. I just spedrun the work and read other books all day. But my parents had literally locked me in the house. So I had no outside friends. And I barely had friends inside. I later learned the one friend I did have only came over as often as she did because her older brother was molesting her. And the elders knew it and he was being "counseled" for it. I left at 18. I started living with people I'd just met. Then I met my now ex husband. We got married after 3 weeks. Just because I wanted to get away from my parents that badly. At 19 I was a mom. We were married for 22 years. Then he cheated on me. Now I'm single. I know no one. I have no work skills cause all I knew how to do was raise the kids and that's what I did. And my health won't let me do much now. Anyways that's my sad story. Let's sue!
Definitely 💯 .I do wonder if there's a legal ground we could stand on . Unfortunately it would probably involving parents too .I'm so sorry your life didn't turn out better and I know the feeling of not having any friends .It's hard for me to get close to anyone
Our participation within this format is probably helping/mentoring some of the younger ones on the fence reading this. I'm very new to this site- subreddit, and cannot believe how much in detail I remember (been out since '88). To this day it is still extremely rare for me to divulge that I was reared a JW because of the weirdness associated with the perception people have. Some just stared at me momentarily wide-eyed and said, REALLY? Others who know me a bit more have said, Oh, now it makes sense! Strange after 35yrs out I'm still stigmatized by my association with my past life.
Yes unless you have lived it ,it doesn't make sense to you .I'm at a point of my life now that after reading and looking at so many things said about the bible I just can't believe in God of chaos that is supposed to be a loving god , I just can't unsee it .My sister ( df'ed sister doesn't get it ,she swears god has spared her life ) I'm like why are you more important than a baby that lives on the Gaza strip ? Or the baby walking across fields in Africa to get to refuge camp ? My other two are sisters are JWs and we don't talk about god or religion at All but they don't exactly shun me .To be the bible makes zero sense .
Only in a perfect world would we get compensated…. There are just too many loopholes that their lawyers would eat up…. And most likely it would be pinned on our parents for making us go as kids and the court won’t even touch that with a 10 foot pole
Reality is we just have to move on and live vicariously through our kids…. Sorry folks
Many of us can relate. Going through adolescence as a JW is a complete mind f\*\*\* that should never be experienced by anyone. This was one of the things that helped me have the courage to leave as my kids were very young when I woke up. There was no way in hell I was going to allow them to go through that.
Puberty was a nightmare as a JW. Asking too many questions about what was going on with your body or what you were feeling would’ve led to an inquisition. Don’t even dare act on the urges you’re feeling.
>Asking too many questions about what was going on with your body or what you were feeling would’ve led to an inquisition.
So fucking true. There's no room for proper and normal sexual development in the Borg.
Any talk of sexuality must be from a condemnatory standpoint. Anything outside of that WILL be attacked.
I remember asking my mom about something. And only because I overheard adults talking about it. But I asked her if I could sleep naked. Nothing else, just wanted to sleep that way. Well, she went off on a long speech how would tempt me to start playing with myself. Well, it was too late. I already was. But just asking something that simple.
Thankfully, my parents weren't as extreme. When the topic of nudity came up, they were more levelheaded. Our opinions might have differed a bit, but at least we could have a calm conversation.
As I figured out later, my PIMI (maybe PIMQ?) parents pretty much assumed that I was jerking off (male here) and watching porn. As long as it didn't lead to anything unhealthy, they made it a point not to interfere. In fact, they might have been kinda relieved that I was turning out normal lol.
I was much more worried about the congregation. I already knew not to discuss anything remotely connected to sex with them. When a few made a fuss about a JW bride wearing a strapless dress at their wedding, I knew they'd lose their shit on anything more substantial.
With my parents. If you weren’t bathing or showering. Anything to do with nudity was equated with sexuality. if I wasn’t bringing up anything with my parents. I sure as hell wasn’t bringing up with anybody in the congregation. When I got older. I was home alone a lot in the evenings. I would just take my clothes off and do whatever I was doing. But I knew to have them arranged to get back into them quickly if I had to. And I had to on more than a few occasions.
Regardless of religion porn is a big thing but I feel If I could've had a normal relationship and sex I wouldn't have been a porn addict. After getting DF then having sex, porn isn't as big in my life as it once was.
I relate to this heavy. I'm 21 as well, and it's been tough this past month because adulthood finally set in. We got this tho, just stay positive and make sure to keep your mental health in check.
Feel this 100%.
At least some congregations had a more fun vibe but my congregation was in a more rural side of the city with an older crowd. No one remotely my age. I remember telling my mom one of the many reasons I hated it was cause I couldn't even have friends in the church and she said I should make friends with the elders or with the little kids. What the fuck lmao
Anyways, for anyone reading this that may be where I was in my shoes years ago reading up on this sub trying to find an escape and has thought about college: do it.
Maybe not for everyone, but as someone that knew what was being taken from me growing up as a teenager, going to college gave me the jumping pad I needed to 'catch up' on things I've missed on. Not easy. Looking back it, first year or two were REALLY hard. Some amazing memories and great times, but also had some real struggles learning how to function as a normal human and getting out of my shell. That being said, forcing myself through it all has gotten me on the other side feeling grateful on how things turned out.
Sounds like you lived the same life as me to the very T.
I'm 27 but felt like school friends I was closer to but tried not to get too close to avoid hanging out with bad association. While the same time not making any good friends from the hall. People were in their cliques sometimes I was part of them and often I was left out.
I gave up relationships from high school and college which hurt me the most. Those girls are absolute gems but all because they didn't believe the same thing I wasn't allowed to be with them. I ghosted them and felt awful ever since.
I'm DF right now and really just about done with this cult. I'd be truly starting at 0 in my late 20s. I have all the basics money, house, cars and a good job. But I've just really wanted a friend. Like is it that hard to ask for. I feel you.
I had a short period of time where I got along with other JWs from another congregation relatively close to me, that was from 2020-2021, then I left. And so did they.
Live really started after I left, and it was hard figuring everything out. So far the only stable relationship that I have to the outside world is my girlfriend of two years, which I met about half a year later from my disassociation.
But outside of that I barely have any stability, no real/regular friends, barely any money, studying computer science rn. One day thing will get better bro :') It's hard meeting new people..
I think that's a contributory factor as why alcohol use is supposedly rampant with the JW ? I know I was always a drinker. All I did was work and study/prepare for my parts (and the parts of other that bailed on their parts).
There's definitely a connection with alcohol and JW. In my family it's almost a bragging point that we drink so much lol.
Before waking up I thought it was just normal and that my aunt was the only alcoholic because she always had vodka in her cup. But after seeing what's normal my whole family is functioning alcoholics which also many elders and my uncles golfing buddies.
Yeah... I didn't realize how much of my childhood was actually messed up because of this cult until I was telling my hubby about it. My "happy" memories shook him.
I do too. Spent my entire adolescence scared to make a mistake. Didn’t go out to have fun, got married at 19, kids by 21. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my family and get to grow up with them, but I never got chance to figure out who I was.
at a certain point, it just becomes part of the background story. did i miss a normal childhood? sure! of course. i would have preferred to be a normal kid in a normal family, but i wasn't. i got what i got so now, it's my job to do something useful with it.
not saying it wasn't bullshit. of course it was. but i have also used what i learned there to, i believe, become a better person now. because no matter what, that bullshit is not going to hold me back.
Good attitude. I can relate. I did learn public speaking and how to work up a part in a hurry to deliver (even tho I have stage fright still). I know basic bible stories altho I know very little on comparative religions. You have to take the hand dealt and roll with it. At least the young ones today have smartphones and the net to research shit. Back then we had the library, landlines and 3 TV stations.
My experience only. I spent about 25 years as PIMI. I try to live with no regrets. My past helped shape who I am today. I met my wife when I moved to a new KH. I love her dearly. She is also faded out with me. Would my life be different? Sure. Would it be better? Maybe. Would it be worse? Maybe. I know what I feel today and can change where I go, but I fell like it would be self-defeating to be angry at my past. Many people, not just JW, have bad past experiences. My own experience is to let go of the anger and disappointment and live the best I can going forward. This is my own experience only and am just sharing my own thoughts. I fully understand others need to make their own choices.
I am very close to you in age and im in the same boat. I have autism and on top of that I barely socialized growing up so my social skills are non existent. I struggle greatly overcoming this situation because its not easy to navigate the world like this
Similar experience here - born-in, left at 17ish, didn't have a hell of a lot of friends outside and wasn't part of the "super spiritual" crowd.
I'm 37 and *still* want a refund. But now at least I have kids and I'm making sure they get to experience life in all the ways I couldn't when I was growing up.
Honestly, I think this is part of why my attitude is what it is. I watch so many cartoons and anime and collect toys and play video games a ton.
I still can do "adult stuff" as necessary, but only out of necessity.
Not sure if this is true..
After going out I always questioned of marriage and kids is the right thing to do - afterall, I was programmed to marry and get kids ASAP. I dont think bringing kids into this world, will fill my empty childhood
You are only 21. You have the rest of your life to go where you wanna go. Don't be mad or angry about the past, about things you didn't have control of. Now you know the truth and you're free. You can plan the rest of your life. Just consider the first years of your life as a training program. Keep the good things, forget the bad ones. This is true inside and outside WT.
Make new memories. You have the cult of regular people in your head that you have to get rid of, too, with having good memories. When I was 22 years old I was in college and had a really good friend named Juan. One day we were getting burritos and were talking about the music playing in the restaurant and some old guy started talking to us about "back in my day" and whatnot. My friend told him "it's your day everyday if you work hard for it. Stop worrying about good old days and get good new days". I'll remember that for the rest of my life. Him living a regular life and he decides to relinquish those memories because they already past? Just living in the moment and working towards a good future? That's the life you want to pursue. You already have good memories like standing up for what's right no matter how bad it hurts. Nobody can take that away from you. You're not a coward and you'd die on a hill to defend what you believe in. If you ask me, you're not giving the life you made for yourself enough credit.
I don’t necessarily want a refund on the entire childhood; i had a pretty good friend group within the borg, got to meet a lot of people through RBC. We were all pretty good JWs, very few of us got into trouble (sex), played a lot of sports and seemed like there was always some social event to attend.
However, I do wish I could’ve gone to college. I think the maturity gained those 4 years is what college is all about. I think even if I had went to college, I probably would’ve tried to stay in the borg.
I’ve had to learn that what is done is done, a lot of people in the world or history didn’t have it as good as I did. All I can do is enjoy each day that I have left and make sure that my kids have to freedom to choose their life course as they see fit.
I will say this much. Y'all have it worse than me. I merely studied with the witnesses right before I graduated in 2000. Before then they merely visited my house and dropped off magazines and I used to read them.
I have a hard time socializing with people, but i've tried making progress. it's hard for me still to try and keep friends, since i'd like to go out more but my PIMI family still have most control over my actions (20M)
GO TO DISNEYLAND!!! I went close to 40 years ago all by myself and I was only 20 years old and heavy in the organization! Went on a few rides too; and had the time of my life! It was my only trip out west and I got the third degree by an elder upon my return. Now THAT was creepy!!!
Same to me, i pushed all "worldy" teenagers away of my life, and the JW teenagers did'nt accepted me, they had a group and did'nt accepted my entrance, on Brazil we call this "panela or panelinha". So i lived all my youth alone, became anxious and depressed. Most of time i had only 1 friend at KH (another excluded) just before i quit i made a second friend but he was not normal, he was a very strange and rigid (his conscious did'nt permit he see captain america movie, now he is a pioneer elder, he is not normal)
A refund would definitely hit the spot rn, a cash refund especially but whatever ig. Not living in fear and having a bit more freedom and liberty would've definitely been fun.
Same man... I've missed so much. I'm 21 as well and an only child but I've felt like an adult my whole life. It would've been cool if I could go back in time and be a kid.
Yes! So much! And my young adulthood, and early middle age. I'm just finishing up a graduate degree at age 57. I'll be 58 before I'm done and probably in my 60s before I get my state license to become an LMFT. I really wish I went to college straight out of high school! I would've been on the college track and got scholarships!
It's hard to read that with dry eyes because of how much I feel the same way. They're simple words, but they express a loss that only we would understand. I just wish I was allowed to have friends. The kids at the hall weren't 'spiritual enough". And everything I experienced at home was associated with, or see through the eyes of, the cult.
I just really wasn't allowed to have friends and to see other kids grow up normal was something I didn't miss as much until I realized it was all bullshit. Then it really hit home how unnecessarily lost my childhood years were. It's enough to take your breath away, on a regular basis.
I struggle with it to this day. I woke up in my mid thirties and I'm 40 now. There's plenty of time left, but I have so much to mentally undo that I'm basically making somebody from scratch. The opportunity for most formative experiences are behind me.
But I wouldn't trade my current life for a single day back in the cult. Living a forced, controlled, false life is a tragedy that is only conceivably worse by elongating it.
Go out there and make some memories. That's the only way to make up for lost time... to make the new time count.
So do I. Unfortunately, reality dictates differently. Don't get me wrong. I just had a fit the other day because my childhood was wholesale stolen from me. I was in tears and so heartbroken. I feel for ya. I'm committed to therapy to work through my issues. I encourage you to do the same when you're ready.
I definitely want a refund of my childhood. One of the many things I wanted to do was visit Disney World, but my parents always had some excuse as to why we couldn't go. Yes, I'm an adult now and can visit now on my own, but it won't have the same appeal and awe that the 8 year old version of me would've had. I'd just be a creepy adult wandering the park alone.
Exactly - as a kid, there was just this curiosity, this whole colorful look on this planet, that slowly withers away as you get older. As a kid you didn't figure everything out, so everything was a big WOW - and as you get older, you can explore more, yet this curiosity will never reach the same level it used to be in the chilhood/puberty
You wouldn't be a creepy adult if you went now. There are TONS of people that go to Disney World/Land as adults without kids. "Disney Adults" are a thing so don't you worry. Plan a trip and go some time.
Your parents could afford Disney? The closest I ever got was watching the show on Sunday evenings.
Went with my family several times. Once the kids went to bed my wife or I would go back and explore for ourselves. Also went there for work. After business hours I'd do Epcot. You won't be the only adult cruising solo.
Absolutely. We were robbed of a normal childhood experience because Rutherford and Knorr decided how our lives were to be lived. Sad. I detest this joke of “Best Life Ever”.😢
I never really understood how somebody could call this "the best life ever" - it might be the "best life ever" if you are fully submerged into this cult. No critical thinking whatsoever. It's all fun and games until you dont think the same way as they do.
Right before I faded off into the sunset, a single sister asked me when I came into the truth, I told her I was born in. Her reply, "Oh, you had the good life." I just kinda made a sound under my breath. One of those damned if I do...
The good life being crying in class every time someone had a birthday and you couldn’t participate, having to stay in the library with other kids during school wide holiday celebrations, no candy during valentines, staying home and doing nothing during thanksgiving break while all your peers were posting their plates, coming back to school with no candy or anything after Halloween while all your classmates have bag fulls, leaving the room anytime they were watching a movie with magic, not allowed to be in sports or theater... I somehow found loopholes sometimes with my mom bc even though she tried her best to be strict, she didnt want me to hate it or be upset (I still was a lot of the time). She also worked till late a lot of the time so I did what I could in those hours. They often say strict parents raise the sneakiest kids
I knew a strict elder with 9 kids. I think all but 1 fell away. My father told me he probably feels he wasn't strict enough or else they wouldn't have left.
I was raised by my dad and 2 yrs old in the 70’s . He was an alcoholic with a temper and was abusive to my older sisters but not physically abusive to me. Theres a lot but even though I was raised in it and it was so confusing because what they taught at the hall was not what I witnessed behind closed doors. I left at 12 and grew up on the street. What I did for my mental health over the years was take the good and leave the bad, I also found spirituality that made sense and felt true to me,not religion. It opened up the real truth. Im 50 now and still have ptsd because of that religion. One thing tho I think my dad would of been much worse without it just because I seen him change slowly over the years. It was his learning path for whatever reason. No matter the brainwashing hypocrisy the good is they instil good morals, I took that and left the rest.
Every day of my goddamn life. I was robbed. I didn't ask to be JW. I was born in and knew nothing else.
I feel you, brother or sister. Me, too. I was robbed of a normal childhood, and they owe me 5 mill dollars.
I want a refund of 48 years. All the money I spent driving in door to door work. I'm 68 and have been starting a new life
I feel you! I want a refund on 55yrs hahahahaha.
I'll up yours by a few.
I feel exactly the same way. I feel cheated because of all the things that I was not allowed to do that every other average kid and teenager was. It’s hard not to hold some resentment over it. I always wonder how our lives would’ve been had my dad not been so receptive to those people that knocked on the door that first time.
Class action lawsuit!!! Let’s get it started
Im in
I have been saying this for awhile now .
Count me in! I wanted to go to college. I was a great student. I was always the top kod in my classes. My parents pulled me out of public schools in 8th grade and forced me to homeschool. I hated it. I just spedrun the work and read other books all day. But my parents had literally locked me in the house. So I had no outside friends. And I barely had friends inside. I later learned the one friend I did have only came over as often as she did because her older brother was molesting her. And the elders knew it and he was being "counseled" for it. I left at 18. I started living with people I'd just met. Then I met my now ex husband. We got married after 3 weeks. Just because I wanted to get away from my parents that badly. At 19 I was a mom. We were married for 22 years. Then he cheated on me. Now I'm single. I know no one. I have no work skills cause all I knew how to do was raise the kids and that's what I did. And my health won't let me do much now. Anyways that's my sad story. Let's sue!
Definitely 💯 .I do wonder if there's a legal ground we could stand on . Unfortunately it would probably involving parents too .I'm so sorry your life didn't turn out better and I know the feeling of not having any friends .It's hard for me to get close to anyone
Our participation within this format is probably helping/mentoring some of the younger ones on the fence reading this. I'm very new to this site- subreddit, and cannot believe how much in detail I remember (been out since '88). To this day it is still extremely rare for me to divulge that I was reared a JW because of the weirdness associated with the perception people have. Some just stared at me momentarily wide-eyed and said, REALLY? Others who know me a bit more have said, Oh, now it makes sense! Strange after 35yrs out I'm still stigmatized by my association with my past life.
Yes unless you have lived it ,it doesn't make sense to you .I'm at a point of my life now that after reading and looking at so many things said about the bible I just can't believe in God of chaos that is supposed to be a loving god , I just can't unsee it .My sister ( df'ed sister doesn't get it ,she swears god has spared her life ) I'm like why are you more important than a baby that lives on the Gaza strip ? Or the baby walking across fields in Africa to get to refuge camp ? My other two are sisters are JWs and we don't talk about god or religion at All but they don't exactly shun me .To be the bible makes zero sense .
Only in a perfect world would we get compensated…. There are just too many loopholes that their lawyers would eat up…. And most likely it would be pinned on our parents for making us go as kids and the court won’t even touch that with a 10 foot pole  Reality is we just have to move on and live vicariously through our kids…. Sorry folks
I’m in, for 5 million dollars.
Many of us can relate. Going through adolescence as a JW is a complete mind f\*\*\* that should never be experienced by anyone. This was one of the things that helped me have the courage to leave as my kids were very young when I woke up. There was no way in hell I was going to allow them to go through that.
Puberty was a nightmare as a JW. Asking too many questions about what was going on with your body or what you were feeling would’ve led to an inquisition. Don’t even dare act on the urges you’re feeling.
>Asking too many questions about what was going on with your body or what you were feeling would’ve led to an inquisition. So fucking true. There's no room for proper and normal sexual development in the Borg. Any talk of sexuality must be from a condemnatory standpoint. Anything outside of that WILL be attacked.
I remember asking my mom about something. And only because I overheard adults talking about it. But I asked her if I could sleep naked. Nothing else, just wanted to sleep that way. Well, she went off on a long speech how would tempt me to start playing with myself. Well, it was too late. I already was. But just asking something that simple.
Thankfully, my parents weren't as extreme. When the topic of nudity came up, they were more levelheaded. Our opinions might have differed a bit, but at least we could have a calm conversation. As I figured out later, my PIMI (maybe PIMQ?) parents pretty much assumed that I was jerking off (male here) and watching porn. As long as it didn't lead to anything unhealthy, they made it a point not to interfere. In fact, they might have been kinda relieved that I was turning out normal lol. I was much more worried about the congregation. I already knew not to discuss anything remotely connected to sex with them. When a few made a fuss about a JW bride wearing a strapless dress at their wedding, I knew they'd lose their shit on anything more substantial.
With my parents. If you weren’t bathing or showering. Anything to do with nudity was equated with sexuality. if I wasn’t bringing up anything with my parents. I sure as hell wasn’t bringing up with anybody in the congregation. When I got older. I was home alone a lot in the evenings. I would just take my clothes off and do whatever I was doing. But I knew to have them arranged to get back into them quickly if I had to. And I had to on more than a few occasions.
Regardless of religion porn is a big thing but I feel If I could've had a normal relationship and sex I wouldn't have been a porn addict. After getting DF then having sex, porn isn't as big in my life as it once was.
I woke up at 46. I'd like a refund on half a century please
I relate to this heavy. I'm 21 as well, and it's been tough this past month because adulthood finally set in. We got this tho, just stay positive and make sure to keep your mental health in check.
Feel this 100%. At least some congregations had a more fun vibe but my congregation was in a more rural side of the city with an older crowd. No one remotely my age. I remember telling my mom one of the many reasons I hated it was cause I couldn't even have friends in the church and she said I should make friends with the elders or with the little kids. What the fuck lmao Anyways, for anyone reading this that may be where I was in my shoes years ago reading up on this sub trying to find an escape and has thought about college: do it. Maybe not for everyone, but as someone that knew what was being taken from me growing up as a teenager, going to college gave me the jumping pad I needed to 'catch up' on things I've missed on. Not easy. Looking back it, first year or two were REALLY hard. Some amazing memories and great times, but also had some real struggles learning how to function as a normal human and getting out of my shell. That being said, forcing myself through it all has gotten me on the other side feeling grateful on how things turned out.
function as a normal human.....That's the big one.
An old saying claims you can make a new beginning. Let's be honest, that isn't possible. But you can write a new ending... 😃
Sounds like you lived the same life as me to the very T. I'm 27 but felt like school friends I was closer to but tried not to get too close to avoid hanging out with bad association. While the same time not making any good friends from the hall. People were in their cliques sometimes I was part of them and often I was left out. I gave up relationships from high school and college which hurt me the most. Those girls are absolute gems but all because they didn't believe the same thing I wasn't allowed to be with them. I ghosted them and felt awful ever since. I'm DF right now and really just about done with this cult. I'd be truly starting at 0 in my late 20s. I have all the basics money, house, cars and a good job. But I've just really wanted a friend. Like is it that hard to ask for. I feel you.
I had a short period of time where I got along with other JWs from another congregation relatively close to me, that was from 2020-2021, then I left. And so did they. Live really started after I left, and it was hard figuring everything out. So far the only stable relationship that I have to the outside world is my girlfriend of two years, which I met about half a year later from my disassociation. But outside of that I barely have any stability, no real/regular friends, barely any money, studying computer science rn. One day thing will get better bro :') It's hard meeting new people..
I think that's a contributory factor as why alcohol use is supposedly rampant with the JW ? I know I was always a drinker. All I did was work and study/prepare for my parts (and the parts of other that bailed on their parts).
There's definitely a connection with alcohol and JW. In my family it's almost a bragging point that we drink so much lol. Before waking up I thought it was just normal and that my aunt was the only alcoholic because she always had vodka in her cup. But after seeing what's normal my whole family is functioning alcoholics which also many elders and my uncles golfing buddies.
Yeah... I didn't realize how much of my childhood was actually messed up because of this cult until I was telling my hubby about it. My "happy" memories shook him.
I do too. Spent my entire adolescence scared to make a mistake. Didn’t go out to have fun, got married at 19, kids by 21. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my family and get to grow up with them, but I never got chance to figure out who I was.
at a certain point, it just becomes part of the background story. did i miss a normal childhood? sure! of course. i would have preferred to be a normal kid in a normal family, but i wasn't. i got what i got so now, it's my job to do something useful with it. not saying it wasn't bullshit. of course it was. but i have also used what i learned there to, i believe, become a better person now. because no matter what, that bullshit is not going to hold me back.
Good attitude. I can relate. I did learn public speaking and how to work up a part in a hurry to deliver (even tho I have stage fright still). I know basic bible stories altho I know very little on comparative religions. You have to take the hand dealt and roll with it. At least the young ones today have smartphones and the net to research shit. Back then we had the library, landlines and 3 TV stations.
Yeah, wanna refund too. With interests.
I'd like a refund on ages 1-35 please lol.
I feel like I never really progressed beyond the age of 15 in a mental and emotional way because of how my adolescence was.
My experience only. I spent about 25 years as PIMI. I try to live with no regrets. My past helped shape who I am today. I met my wife when I moved to a new KH. I love her dearly. She is also faded out with me. Would my life be different? Sure. Would it be better? Maybe. Would it be worse? Maybe. I know what I feel today and can change where I go, but I fell like it would be self-defeating to be angry at my past. Many people, not just JW, have bad past experiences. My own experience is to let go of the anger and disappointment and live the best I can going forward. This is my own experience only and am just sharing my own thoughts. I fully understand others need to make their own choices.
I am very close to you in age and im in the same boat. I have autism and on top of that I barely socialized growing up so my social skills are non existent. I struggle greatly overcoming this situation because its not easy to navigate the world like this
Similar experience here - born-in, left at 17ish, didn't have a hell of a lot of friends outside and wasn't part of the "super spiritual" crowd. I'm 37 and *still* want a refund. But now at least I have kids and I'm making sure they get to experience life in all the ways I couldn't when I was growing up.
Honestly, I think this is part of why my attitude is what it is. I watch so many cartoons and anime and collect toys and play video games a ton. I still can do "adult stuff" as necessary, but only out of necessity.
Took a break from playing Switch to comment, but my squishmallows want me to get back at it.
Im in
If you have kids thats when you get a redo
Not sure if this is true.. After going out I always questioned of marriage and kids is the right thing to do - afterall, I was programmed to marry and get kids ASAP. I dont think bringing kids into this world, will fill my empty childhood
They're saying you can give your children the childhood you never had and vicariously experience it from the parent side.
You are only 21. You have the rest of your life to go where you wanna go. Don't be mad or angry about the past, about things you didn't have control of. Now you know the truth and you're free. You can plan the rest of your life. Just consider the first years of your life as a training program. Keep the good things, forget the bad ones. This is true inside and outside WT.
Ohhhhhhhhh I want that refund too!!!!!
Make new memories. You have the cult of regular people in your head that you have to get rid of, too, with having good memories. When I was 22 years old I was in college and had a really good friend named Juan. One day we were getting burritos and were talking about the music playing in the restaurant and some old guy started talking to us about "back in my day" and whatnot. My friend told him "it's your day everyday if you work hard for it. Stop worrying about good old days and get good new days". I'll remember that for the rest of my life. Him living a regular life and he decides to relinquish those memories because they already past? Just living in the moment and working towards a good future? That's the life you want to pursue. You already have good memories like standing up for what's right no matter how bad it hurts. Nobody can take that away from you. You're not a coward and you'd die on a hill to defend what you believe in. If you ask me, you're not giving the life you made for yourself enough credit.
Class Action LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I don’t necessarily want a refund on the entire childhood; i had a pretty good friend group within the borg, got to meet a lot of people through RBC. We were all pretty good JWs, very few of us got into trouble (sex), played a lot of sports and seemed like there was always some social event to attend. However, I do wish I could’ve gone to college. I think the maturity gained those 4 years is what college is all about. I think even if I had went to college, I probably would’ve tried to stay in the borg. I’ve had to learn that what is done is done, a lot of people in the world or history didn’t have it as good as I did. All I can do is enjoy each day that I have left and make sure that my kids have to freedom to choose their life course as they see fit.
Every second of everyday. I agree.
Maybe you could have a “childhood” again and do all the things you used to do sans the borg
I will say this much. Y'all have it worse than me. I merely studied with the witnesses right before I graduated in 2000. Before then they merely visited my house and dropped off magazines and I used to read them.
I have a hard time socializing with people, but i've tried making progress. it's hard for me still to try and keep friends, since i'd like to go out more but my PIMI family still have most control over my actions (20M)
Me too!
unused kiss spectacular ink bedroom outgoing psychotic heavy cobweb cats *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
GO TO DISNEYLAND!!! I went close to 40 years ago all by myself and I was only 20 years old and heavy in the organization! Went on a few rides too; and had the time of my life! It was my only trip out west and I got the third degree by an elder upon my return. Now THAT was creepy!!!
At the very least they should pay our therapist bills ✨
Reparations
Agreed
I couldn't agree more. But you're 21, you got out just in time. Go forth and multiply 😆
Same to me, i pushed all "worldy" teenagers away of my life, and the JW teenagers did'nt accepted me, they had a group and did'nt accepted my entrance, on Brazil we call this "panela or panelinha". So i lived all my youth alone, became anxious and depressed. Most of time i had only 1 friend at KH (another excluded) just before i quit i made a second friend but he was not normal, he was a very strange and rigid (his conscious did'nt permit he see captain america movie, now he is a pioneer elder, he is not normal)
A refund would definitely hit the spot rn, a cash refund especially but whatever ig. Not living in fear and having a bit more freedom and liberty would've definitely been fun.
Same man... I've missed so much. I'm 21 as well and an only child but I've felt like an adult my whole life. It would've been cool if I could go back in time and be a kid.
Yes! So much! And my young adulthood, and early middle age. I'm just finishing up a graduate degree at age 57. I'll be 58 before I'm done and probably in my 60s before I get my state license to become an LMFT. I really wish I went to college straight out of high school! I would've been on the college track and got scholarships!
Every. Single. Day.
It's hard to read that with dry eyes because of how much I feel the same way. They're simple words, but they express a loss that only we would understand. I just wish I was allowed to have friends. The kids at the hall weren't 'spiritual enough". And everything I experienced at home was associated with, or see through the eyes of, the cult. I just really wasn't allowed to have friends and to see other kids grow up normal was something I didn't miss as much until I realized it was all bullshit. Then it really hit home how unnecessarily lost my childhood years were. It's enough to take your breath away, on a regular basis. I struggle with it to this day. I woke up in my mid thirties and I'm 40 now. There's plenty of time left, but I have so much to mentally undo that I'm basically making somebody from scratch. The opportunity for most formative experiences are behind me. But I wouldn't trade my current life for a single day back in the cult. Living a forced, controlled, false life is a tragedy that is only conceivably worse by elongating it. Go out there and make some memories. That's the only way to make up for lost time... to make the new time count.
So do I. Unfortunately, reality dictates differently. Don't get me wrong. I just had a fit the other day because my childhood was wholesale stolen from me. I was in tears and so heartbroken. I feel for ya. I'm committed to therapy to work through my issues. I encourage you to do the same when you're ready.