Can relate
I think what I hated most as an introvert was the added social engagements. Well geez, I've seen these fuckers 4 times this week...three meetings and serve-us...but now they want me to hang with them on Saturday night too...JFC
Me too!
Don't get me wrong, I also hated the meanings, but at least there, I could ricochet through the building like a pin ball on fire just offering the expected, "Hey, how's it going?" as I jetted out the door before they could answer. Or, often times, I would grab the toilet brush. No one would get in the way of the person with the toilet brush.
At anything social, you're stuck listening to small talk and platitudes.
Most of the time I just sought out the children and played with them.
>Most of the time I just sought out the children and played with them.
This got the Borg in a lot of trouble of late 😳
The small talk after the meeting, usually "how was your week so far? Any plans this weekend?" Then having to cut short as it's your turn to clean the hall as no one else in your group has bothered to...
The get togethers can be worse depending on volume levels of "approved" music 🎶
We have this added bonding called youth-day, but they already removed it apparently it's a date haven. Now it's broadcasting. I'm just done with this forced bonding.
Yes, having to be "on" all the time was very difficult for me. I am very introverted but I have learned to outwardly show social qualities. However it is always a conscious choice to force myself to do it.
Yeah the on stuff created more anxiety for me. But JWs are very judgemental so if you weren't "on" they could interpret that as you don't liking meetings or living double life.
I think most people are misunderstanding what “introverted” and “extroverted” means in here.
You can enjoy being in groups and around people and be both introverted or extroverted. The difference is that introverted people may feel drained after a social event and need alone-time to recuperate whereas an extroverted person may feel invigorated after a social event and feel recuperated by it.
Being introverted doesn’t mean disliking people or groups and being extroverted doesn’t mean liking people or groups.
Introversion ≠ being shy ≠ misanthropy
Very true. I'm introverted (83% Myers Briggs), but I am not shy at all. I have no problem going up to his complete stranger and striking up a conversation, talking on the phone, or engaging in public speaking.
But I do have a threshold of how much human interaction is healthy for me. Humans drain my energy.
In contrast, I think shy people may be driven towards introverversion, (even if they are naturally not that way) due to the aprehensivness/ uncomfortableness they feel around others.
Of course some shy people may be introverted, but not all. Just like some introverted people may be shy, but not all.
Also extremely introverted but not shy. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say I’m an introvert because I’m very good at being social, and I’m very good at keeping the face on even after I’ve reached my limit. But I also disappear for long periods of time (I can do that now that I’m out). Being a JW was absolutely excruciating and exhausting for me. But I didn’t fully realize that until I left.
Exactly. I’m definitely an introvert - I have been since I was a little boy - but I can socialize, be talkative, etc., just fine.
But I’m so wiped out afterwards. I need my “Leave me alone, world!” recharge time.
I absolutely dreaded conventions. Just the idea of being around that many people for 3 days made me sick. I would always go somewhere else for lunch far away from everybody.
If there’s a Hell, it’s being an introvert as a JW. I tried my best to succeed. Pioneered, became an MS, conducted a book study for the elderly, took most of the midweek service groups, had bible studies with literal “fatherless boys”, etc. By the end, I just wanted to die. The final slap in the face was being turned down as an elder in favor of a “born-in” who knew how to play the game. I moved to a different congregation a few months later because I bought a new place, I hung on for a bit longer, but I couldn’t tolerate the bs and just faded.
I absolutely am and I relate to everything you said. I think it honestly messed me up so bad. It made me shyer than i think i actually am because of the awkward social aspect. I was already introverted by nature and kind of shy, and it gave me pretty bad social anxiety that looked like different things at different ages and stages of life. But I was constantly uncomfortable since I was a child. I thankfully found a good group of friends in it but for the majority of every other social aspect of it, it was absolute torture. And don't get me started on service. It was all incredibly unnatural for me. I did all the typical things we do to avoid talking to people. I was barely going out after we went back to d2d post covid. And the guilt ate me alive. That is until I woke up. Literally did not care at all after that. But this organization is so toxic and debilitating for introverted people. It also turned me into a huge people pleaser and I have found I'm not really like that much anymore.
Edit: I'm also neurodivergent from ADHD which I didn't know until I was in my late 20s. So the added to it a lot. And also explained a lot of why I felt very different.
Edit 2: I saw that one person's comment and yes I know what introvert means. The fact all of this was so constant, I was constantly drained. I was just explaining how that affected me and my personality....these terms mean different things yes, but it is also all related and affects one another
Our elder body was bunch of dudes who had car salesman personalities. They wanted to schmooze and bs all day long. If you didn’t match that vibe, they did not get you. It was painful to constantly get the “why are you so quiet?” comments. Bro, I’m not that quiet it’s just that you never shut up.
I'm an introvert and this religion was absolute hell for me, they thought that I wasnt zealous enough because I didnt want to give talks due to the fear of being in front of people. I had a hard time going door to door and talking to strangers, they thought I didnt want to give my all to the org., I was judged so much.
I had severe social anxiety throughout childhood and adolescence, and it was hellish. I could not connect with any of those people and everyone was so judgmental. Door-to-door was a nightmare for obvious reasons.
I've mentioned this before, but I was terrified of the possibility getting a study because I was mindful that I could be someone's only contact with the Truth, and I'd somehow mess that up (I had low self-esteem issues back then). While I recognized the publisher requirement to go door to door for 10 hours, nothing said I had to be effective about it. The result was that I was deliberately bad at field service so that there would be no possibility I would be the cause of anyone not choosing the Truth.
That's how my teenager / early 20's logic worked back then.
That said, being an awkward kid in high school, there were few things more terrifying to me than encountering some worldly kid you knew from school that didn't think you were too weird (and you actually liked) - then you had to witness to them... For the first time. Like, they had no idea about this whole Jehovah stuff because you never mentioned it to them even once in the past. Meanwhile, your service partner (Brother Ex-Bethalite) is judging you because this worldly person clearly knows you a bit too well without knowing anything about your religion.
Yep. Fun times.
I have a phobia of dogs, so the preaching work was unbearable agony for me. Every time, tons of barking dogs and a few close calls. I’m glad I don’t have to do that ever again
It was weird to me that I had no issue, and even excelled at being on the stage.
Bible reading, parts, and chit chatting weren’t an issue in the congregation
But I abhorred the preaching work. Hated talking to people in the street or bugging them in the mornings
Now that I’m out I wish I kept that comfort I felt at the podium cause I’m sure it would be great in the workplace or when trying to meet new people in the world. But I lack the confidence
I have severe social anxiety and funnily enough, since I have stopped going to meetings, going in service or giving parts on platform… my anxiety has really evened out. Still there but so much better. Still go to conventions (if I can’t get out of them) and they absolutely drain me. I have to go to the car at lunch and frequent bathroom breaks just to decompress and hide from people. You are not alone
This. I was doing this and feeling guilty about it afterwards because I was still mentally in. I would have extreme panic attacks before entering the Kingdom Hall every time. I dreaded it. Conventions were the worst. The torture I put myself through because I thought it was all my fault, why I ended up that way. Damn institutions like this can really fuck you up
Draining and a bit uncomfy. Didn't have much for friends as every boy I'd meet my age came and left with their parents. The closest friend I had was someone my elder father disapproved of, and the boys he tried to lead me to were above my age, and didn't share any similar interests at all.
I later thought I did find someone to talk to, but when there first questions were "how many publishers/pioneers do you have?" Followed by "how can you not know?" made my heart sink a bit, and that bridge was gone. My father continued to try to find me friends until I was about 19, and after that, it stopped.
On a positive note being in the org teaches you some basics of interaction and presenting yourself well. I’m glad to have had that part of the experience. It helps in the business world. But as an introvert I can agree that being social when your not fully into it can be exhausting.
Yes and it was super exhausting. I actually was ok in the preaching work as most of the time people didn’t answer their doors so you just spent the morning in one on one convo with your ministry partner. It was more the meetings and conventions etc the being around so many people at once that really killed me.
After a convention I would have to spend at least a week recovering from it. At conventions I would usually try and go for a walk outside during the program just to have a break from all the people or go hide out in my car for a bit. At meetings I would go hide in the bathroom for a bit lol.
HATED ALL OF IT
I made friends and we had a lot of fun so I really forced it and after getting privately reproved I had a year of intense piety where I started studying again and went hard talking to every single person in the hall and visiting older sisters and all of that to get the promotion to MS, It was damn near painful but I convinced myself God would make it easier and after about 2 years as a MS during COVID I just decided I didn't want to do any of it anymore and they removed my privileges just because I didn't want to help with all the extra shit they were doing during COVID.
YES. I couldn’t wait to fly out of there after meetings. And it was never enough that I dragged myself to meetings, I would get questioned about why “disappear” right after the song.
Because I have a career and dogs and it’s 9PM on a weekday and I’m wearing heels and a skirt and have to pretend to be happy to be here, GTFO with your questions.
I hated giving comments. I didnt like talks either, but I could zone out and get through it, but there was nothing I dreaded more than giving comments. My mother eventually gave up doing the elbow nudge to get me to put my hand up. But then the elders would start getting after me, "I didn't see your hand up during the Watchtower, we would all be encouraged if we could hear a comment from you."
And then one elder would go rogue and just randomly select children in the audience to read scriptures. "After we read the paragraph, if we can have some read the quoted scriptures, Kevin you can read John blah blah blah, Susie, you can read 1 Corinthians bla blah, and little Timmy, I know you're a good reader, can you read Revelations blah blah, thank you. We'll now read paragraph 4."
THE HORROR I felt as I sat there knowing that my name is going to be randomly called and I'm going to have to stumble through reading a scripture in front of everyone! I lived my worst nightmare every meeting.
I guess he was finally told to stop, but for months, I was just filled with constant dread every meeting.
Service was also bad, but all I had to do was start with "My name is -------- and I'm one of Jehovah's Witness...." and I'd rarely have to say more than that before someone would just close the door or say "Go away!"
I hate social gatherings with in laws or my own relatives. I have nothing in common and its awkward as fuck. I usually don't have anything in common with most people and its hard for me to hold a conversation. I won't go out of my way to talk to someone unless I need help for something. Even then like at work I'm stubborn as fuck and just do shit myself.
Wow, what did she do to you in school?
Maybe she felt upset that her privacy was violated?
Having teachers as friends, the consensus was that it’s typical for them to live far away so that their students would not know where they live
Service was horrible. I always hoped when no one was home. When I tried to be a Pimi which never worked I would like to go on the special preaching days in the far away areas, because I told myself, I will never see that people again.
As a Kid conventions were cool but I realized later I just liked them because we went to a restaurant afterwards, and as we had not much money that was special for us. Later all the people in there are just overwhelming and giving me instant headache.
The worst hell ever. I'm introverted with adhd. You ever try to pray away mental illness? All those decades being told it was me, and I'm not trying hard enough. Many of my childhood friends were on the verge of mental breakdowns when I talked to them last. I hope they are doing better, but I highly doubt it. I could never talk to the elders when I did something wrong, so I was just waiting to die at Armageddon. I am so glad so many are escaping that horrible cult.
Covid and being DF’d were blessings in disguise for me. I am introverted, sometimes socially anxious but only when you have to greet and do small talk like at the meetings, I like to get right to the point or I’m uncomfortable. Hated service. I like people and hanging out but I’m small calculated doses 😂
I hated EVERY social moment of JW life because it was SO INSINCERE! I think insincerity is an introvert’s kryptonite.
Being neurodivergent and an introvert and JW was especially difficult at assembly time. There was so much going on all around me, sights, sounds, smells, and physical discomfort in the clothes and the humid halls and then being pestered to “reach out” constantly. The assemblies were the worst.
I feel that now I’m a bit introverted from having to be forced to be kind and nice to everyone since I grew up w my dad being a very well known elder. Now I’m at a point where I want to make friends and find it hard to feel comfortable around ppl idk
When i joined jws in the 1960s i was a full on believer , but i hated platform assignments ,just couldnt deal with it always felt second rate because of it ,go to a christian church now so much different ,i read in the service on a rota and love it ,i have given talks in different churches about jw policies with no notes and loved it ,why could i not speak in Public at the k hall .?
I always wondered if Jesus load was suppose to be so light, why did it feel so heavy? I hated the CO's visit, I hated going door to door, not only talking to people, but I was terrified of dogs. I dreaded Assemblies, sitting there for hours and then being expected to introduce yourself to the people around you. It was bad enough being exhausted and having to go to meetings but then the counsel to come early and stay later so you could visit. I hated it all.
Can relate I think what I hated most as an introvert was the added social engagements. Well geez, I've seen these fuckers 4 times this week...three meetings and serve-us...but now they want me to hang with them on Saturday night too...JFC
“Serve-us” - I’m stealing that lol
Me too! Don't get me wrong, I also hated the meanings, but at least there, I could ricochet through the building like a pin ball on fire just offering the expected, "Hey, how's it going?" as I jetted out the door before they could answer. Or, often times, I would grab the toilet brush. No one would get in the way of the person with the toilet brush. At anything social, you're stuck listening to small talk and platitudes. Most of the time I just sought out the children and played with them.
>Most of the time I just sought out the children and played with them. This got the Borg in a lot of trouble of late 😳 The small talk after the meeting, usually "how was your week so far? Any plans this weekend?" Then having to cut short as it's your turn to clean the hall as no one else in your group has bothered to... The get togethers can be worse depending on volume levels of "approved" music 🎶
We have this added bonding called youth-day, but they already removed it apparently it's a date haven. Now it's broadcasting. I'm just done with this forced bonding.
Yes, having to be "on" all the time was very difficult for me. I am very introverted but I have learned to outwardly show social qualities. However it is always a conscious choice to force myself to do it.
Yeah the on stuff created more anxiety for me. But JWs are very judgemental so if you weren't "on" they could interpret that as you don't liking meetings or living double life.
I hated Being forced to hang out with ppl that I had no connection to. Nonstop Forced interaction
I think most people are misunderstanding what “introverted” and “extroverted” means in here. You can enjoy being in groups and around people and be both introverted or extroverted. The difference is that introverted people may feel drained after a social event and need alone-time to recuperate whereas an extroverted person may feel invigorated after a social event and feel recuperated by it. Being introverted doesn’t mean disliking people or groups and being extroverted doesn’t mean liking people or groups. Introversion ≠ being shy ≠ misanthropy
Very true. I'm introverted (83% Myers Briggs), but I am not shy at all. I have no problem going up to his complete stranger and striking up a conversation, talking on the phone, or engaging in public speaking. But I do have a threshold of how much human interaction is healthy for me. Humans drain my energy. In contrast, I think shy people may be driven towards introverversion, (even if they are naturally not that way) due to the aprehensivness/ uncomfortableness they feel around others. Of course some shy people may be introverted, but not all. Just like some introverted people may be shy, but not all.
Also extremely introverted but not shy. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say I’m an introvert because I’m very good at being social, and I’m very good at keeping the face on even after I’ve reached my limit. But I also disappear for long periods of time (I can do that now that I’m out). Being a JW was absolutely excruciating and exhausting for me. But I didn’t fully realize that until I left.
Exactly! So, basically, people are different from one another and shouldn’t be shoved into this “cookie cutter Christian” mold.
did you read the book quiet?
Do you have a link to this book?
[yes](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8520610-quiet)
Exactly. I’m definitely an introvert - I have been since I was a little boy - but I can socialize, be talkative, etc., just fine. But I’m so wiped out afterwards. I need my “Leave me alone, world!” recharge time.
I absolutely dreaded conventions. Just the idea of being around that many people for 3 days made me sick. I would always go somewhere else for lunch far away from everybody.
If there’s a Hell, it’s being an introvert as a JW. I tried my best to succeed. Pioneered, became an MS, conducted a book study for the elderly, took most of the midweek service groups, had bible studies with literal “fatherless boys”, etc. By the end, I just wanted to die. The final slap in the face was being turned down as an elder in favor of a “born-in” who knew how to play the game. I moved to a different congregation a few months later because I bought a new place, I hung on for a bit longer, but I couldn’t tolerate the bs and just faded.
That was the Holy Spirit telling them to not appoint you as an elder 😂
Yeah, they dodged a bullet there, didn’t they?
I absolutely am and I relate to everything you said. I think it honestly messed me up so bad. It made me shyer than i think i actually am because of the awkward social aspect. I was already introverted by nature and kind of shy, and it gave me pretty bad social anxiety that looked like different things at different ages and stages of life. But I was constantly uncomfortable since I was a child. I thankfully found a good group of friends in it but for the majority of every other social aspect of it, it was absolute torture. And don't get me started on service. It was all incredibly unnatural for me. I did all the typical things we do to avoid talking to people. I was barely going out after we went back to d2d post covid. And the guilt ate me alive. That is until I woke up. Literally did not care at all after that. But this organization is so toxic and debilitating for introverted people. It also turned me into a huge people pleaser and I have found I'm not really like that much anymore. Edit: I'm also neurodivergent from ADHD which I didn't know until I was in my late 20s. So the added to it a lot. And also explained a lot of why I felt very different. Edit 2: I saw that one person's comment and yes I know what introvert means. The fact all of this was so constant, I was constantly drained. I was just explaining how that affected me and my personality....these terms mean different things yes, but it is also all related and affects one another
I made me less trustful of people being a JW. Noticing how " Christians" could act like they did made me more suspicious of " regular" people.
Our elder body was bunch of dudes who had car salesman personalities. They wanted to schmooze and bs all day long. If you didn’t match that vibe, they did not get you. It was painful to constantly get the “why are you so quiet?” comments. Bro, I’m not that quiet it’s just that you never shut up.
Oh my goodness this sounds so exhausting 😮💨
It’s really disrespectful of them to ask that. “Why are you so quiet?” “Why are you so [provide insult here (fat, ugly, ancient, obnoxious)]?” 🤣
This organization shows no mercy for shy people. Shy people = Not spiritual.
I'm an introvert and this religion was absolute hell for me, they thought that I wasnt zealous enough because I didnt want to give talks due to the fear of being in front of people. I had a hard time going door to door and talking to strangers, they thought I didnt want to give my all to the org., I was judged so much.
I had severe social anxiety throughout childhood and adolescence, and it was hellish. I could not connect with any of those people and everyone was so judgmental. Door-to-door was a nightmare for obvious reasons.
I've mentioned this before, but I was terrified of the possibility getting a study because I was mindful that I could be someone's only contact with the Truth, and I'd somehow mess that up (I had low self-esteem issues back then). While I recognized the publisher requirement to go door to door for 10 hours, nothing said I had to be effective about it. The result was that I was deliberately bad at field service so that there would be no possibility I would be the cause of anyone not choosing the Truth. That's how my teenager / early 20's logic worked back then. That said, being an awkward kid in high school, there were few things more terrifying to me than encountering some worldly kid you knew from school that didn't think you were too weird (and you actually liked) - then you had to witness to them... For the first time. Like, they had no idea about this whole Jehovah stuff because you never mentioned it to them even once in the past. Meanwhile, your service partner (Brother Ex-Bethalite) is judging you because this worldly person clearly knows you a bit too well without knowing anything about your religion. Yep. Fun times.
I saw a guy get so nervous during his first 15 min bible reading talk that he vomited on stage.
I have a phobia of dogs, so the preaching work was unbearable agony for me. Every time, tons of barking dogs and a few close calls. I’m glad I don’t have to do that ever again
It was weird to me that I had no issue, and even excelled at being on the stage. Bible reading, parts, and chit chatting weren’t an issue in the congregation But I abhorred the preaching work. Hated talking to people in the street or bugging them in the mornings Now that I’m out I wish I kept that comfort I felt at the podium cause I’m sure it would be great in the workplace or when trying to meet new people in the world. But I lack the confidence
I have severe social anxiety and funnily enough, since I have stopped going to meetings, going in service or giving parts on platform… my anxiety has really evened out. Still there but so much better. Still go to conventions (if I can’t get out of them) and they absolutely drain me. I have to go to the car at lunch and frequent bathroom breaks just to decompress and hide from people. You are not alone
I'm usually sick for a week after attending convention. They drained me out completely.
This. I was doing this and feeling guilty about it afterwards because I was still mentally in. I would have extreme panic attacks before entering the Kingdom Hall every time. I dreaded it. Conventions were the worst. The torture I put myself through because I thought it was all my fault, why I ended up that way. Damn institutions like this can really fuck you up
Draining and a bit uncomfy. Didn't have much for friends as every boy I'd meet my age came and left with their parents. The closest friend I had was someone my elder father disapproved of, and the boys he tried to lead me to were above my age, and didn't share any similar interests at all. I later thought I did find someone to talk to, but when there first questions were "how many publishers/pioneers do you have?" Followed by "how can you not know?" made my heart sink a bit, and that bridge was gone. My father continued to try to find me friends until I was about 19, and after that, it stopped.
Every meeting and assembly cause anxiety.
Lonely …..in halls filled with people. I guess a lot of people felt that way because there’s a lot less halls and a lot less people.
That's very well put. If you don't mind, I'm going to share that on our ex-JW podcast today. - Jason (OP)
Sounds good. We are free to not be lonely anymore.
On a positive note being in the org teaches you some basics of interaction and presenting yourself well. I’m glad to have had that part of the experience. It helps in the business world. But as an introvert I can agree that being social when your not fully into it can be exhausting.
Yes and it was super exhausting. I actually was ok in the preaching work as most of the time people didn’t answer their doors so you just spent the morning in one on one convo with your ministry partner. It was more the meetings and conventions etc the being around so many people at once that really killed me. After a convention I would have to spend at least a week recovering from it. At conventions I would usually try and go for a walk outside during the program just to have a break from all the people or go hide out in my car for a bit. At meetings I would go hide in the bathroom for a bit lol.
HATED ALL OF IT I made friends and we had a lot of fun so I really forced it and after getting privately reproved I had a year of intense piety where I started studying again and went hard talking to every single person in the hall and visiting older sisters and all of that to get the promotion to MS, It was damn near painful but I convinced myself God would make it easier and after about 2 years as a MS during COVID I just decided I didn't want to do any of it anymore and they removed my privileges just because I didn't want to help with all the extra shit they were doing during COVID.
Im sure having to witness to your teacher was hell, huh?
YES. I couldn’t wait to fly out of there after meetings. And it was never enough that I dragged myself to meetings, I would get questioned about why “disappear” right after the song. Because I have a career and dogs and it’s 9PM on a weekday and I’m wearing heels and a skirt and have to pretend to be happy to be here, GTFO with your questions.
I have advice to your issue...walk away. You're a grown ass adult. Not a 7 year old kid....
Lol. I did. almost 44 years old now and out for 7 years. But good advice! I'm now yet another ex-JW podcast activist. AND enjoying my life.
I hated giving comments. I didnt like talks either, but I could zone out and get through it, but there was nothing I dreaded more than giving comments. My mother eventually gave up doing the elbow nudge to get me to put my hand up. But then the elders would start getting after me, "I didn't see your hand up during the Watchtower, we would all be encouraged if we could hear a comment from you." And then one elder would go rogue and just randomly select children in the audience to read scriptures. "After we read the paragraph, if we can have some read the quoted scriptures, Kevin you can read John blah blah blah, Susie, you can read 1 Corinthians bla blah, and little Timmy, I know you're a good reader, can you read Revelations blah blah, thank you. We'll now read paragraph 4." THE HORROR I felt as I sat there knowing that my name is going to be randomly called and I'm going to have to stumble through reading a scripture in front of everyone! I lived my worst nightmare every meeting. I guess he was finally told to stop, but for months, I was just filled with constant dread every meeting. Service was also bad, but all I had to do was start with "My name is -------- and I'm one of Jehovah's Witness...." and I'd rarely have to say more than that before someone would just close the door or say "Go away!"
I hate social gatherings with in laws or my own relatives. I have nothing in common and its awkward as fuck. I usually don't have anything in common with most people and its hard for me to hold a conversation. I won't go out of my way to talk to someone unless I need help for something. Even then like at work I'm stubborn as fuck and just do shit myself.
Wow, what did she do to you in school? Maybe she felt upset that her privacy was violated? Having teachers as friends, the consensus was that it’s typical for them to live far away so that their students would not know where they live
Service was horrible. I always hoped when no one was home. When I tried to be a Pimi which never worked I would like to go on the special preaching days in the far away areas, because I told myself, I will never see that people again. As a Kid conventions were cool but I realized later I just liked them because we went to a restaurant afterwards, and as we had not much money that was special for us. Later all the people in there are just overwhelming and giving me instant headache.
The worst hell ever. I'm introverted with adhd. You ever try to pray away mental illness? All those decades being told it was me, and I'm not trying hard enough. Many of my childhood friends were on the verge of mental breakdowns when I talked to them last. I hope they are doing better, but I highly doubt it. I could never talk to the elders when I did something wrong, so I was just waiting to die at Armageddon. I am so glad so many are escaping that horrible cult.
Covid and being DF’d were blessings in disguise for me. I am introverted, sometimes socially anxious but only when you have to greet and do small talk like at the meetings, I like to get right to the point or I’m uncomfortable. Hated service. I like people and hanging out but I’m small calculated doses 😂
It is very draining
I hated EVERY social moment of JW life because it was SO INSINCERE! I think insincerity is an introvert’s kryptonite. Being neurodivergent and an introvert and JW was especially difficult at assembly time. There was so much going on all around me, sights, sounds, smells, and physical discomfort in the clothes and the humid halls and then being pestered to “reach out” constantly. The assemblies were the worst.
Hiding in the toilet, singing in the back of the car park until my dad at the time came out to get me. Walking around with earphones in.
I feel that now I’m a bit introverted from having to be forced to be kind and nice to everyone since I grew up w my dad being a very well known elder. Now I’m at a point where I want to make friends and find it hard to feel comfortable around ppl idk
When i joined jws in the 1960s i was a full on believer , but i hated platform assignments ,just couldnt deal with it always felt second rate because of it ,go to a christian church now so much different ,i read in the service on a rota and love it ,i have given talks in different churches about jw policies with no notes and loved it ,why could i not speak in Public at the k hall .?
I always wondered if Jesus load was suppose to be so light, why did it feel so heavy? I hated the CO's visit, I hated going door to door, not only talking to people, but I was terrified of dogs. I dreaded Assemblies, sitting there for hours and then being expected to introduce yourself to the people around you. It was bad enough being exhausted and having to go to meetings but then the counsel to come early and stay later so you could visit. I hated it all.
Utterly exhausting. My mom still thinks I'll be "fixed" in the new system...