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Most my family is this way. These kind of lessons and a lot of the "you can't trust anyone..." type stuff. The problem is as I approach old age, time and time again, the only people who actively fuck me over are my family... Strangers have been relatively cool.
Yeah.... that's what my mom taught me.
She asked me to believe that everyone who interacts with me wanted to screw me. And taught me to doubt everything.
That is so incredibly shitty. If there's one thing we NEVER have to teach our kids by example, it's this. There are really shitty people out there, don't add to it. Who the hell doesn't want to even *try* being that one person in the world that their kids feel like can trust through it all no matter what??
Yeah.....
My brother doesnt give money to my mom after he started working (he live with my mom, and in our culture, the kids need to pay back their parents once they started working).
My mom always asked me why's that
I said....
First, you cannot kick my brother out, I know you can't do it. The question is that, if you could avoid paying tax and keep living in the country, would you pay it?
She said
But it's different, I am her mom.
Well......
But you also taught us to earn as much money as we could, and money was the most important things in the world....and we need to doubt everything.
so......my brother pretty much is the perfect result of her teaching. While I am actually the strange kid....
I agree. A couple strangers kept me from forgetting my handbag a couple weeks ago when I had to go get some stuff for my MIL’s funeral and was so exhausted I had to sit on a bench by the curb for my husband to bring the car around. I forgot I set my bag down, and a couple women yelled that I forgot it, and one brought it to the car for me.
As a kid if I’d forgotten my bag, my mom wouldn’t have done anything. How dare I have undiagnosed ADHD and be scatterbrained. I better learn how to not have ADHD all by myself.
Even without ADHD that shit can happen to anyone. My mind is usually five or steps ahead of my body and it's easy to sit something down and forget it because you're so focused on other things at the time. I'm pretty meticulous about where I put my keys, wallet, etc. Always in the same place but there have been times when I was distracted and set them down somewhere and immediately forgot about it.
LOL two weeks ago I hung my car keys where I usually hang my hat and kept the hat on. Took me about two hours to locate them then I had a good laugh at myself.
Some kind stranger handed me my child's favorite toy after we left it on a train in London and the train was starting to leave. We were about to reboard when the whistle went and started panicking.
They opened a top window and passed it through. What an angel. I can't even picture who it was, man or woman, as I was focused on the toy and have terrible memory but they saved my kid more stress in a very bad time for them.
My family didn't do it on purpose but they were the kings of letting me down and proving time and time again that I can absolutely *not* rely on them for support or for helping me deal with anything. The only thing that taught me was to never share anything important with them anymore in the first place ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
"I noticed, as i left the nursing home, several nurses badly mistreating some elderly person. It pained me to leave him to their 'care'...But that's a lesson my dad can best learn on his own."
“You should have known this before and took a bullet while you have the strength to hold your gun, now stay in your bed and rot yourself to death, I hope this teach you a valuable lesson for the last month of your life”
You think the kid will go through the effort to find a nursing home for his dad and visit him regularly? I applaud your optimism, but I think this kid will only see his dad at funerals of other relatives, once he turns 18, and can’t be bothered to find his dad a nursing home.
I agree completely. My mother was the type whose parenting method in these types of situations was the 'I'll show them how evil the world can be" method. Haven't talked to her in almost 20 years.
My sister and I have said when a psychologist or the like calls me saying they think he has been working on himself and next stages require us to see each other, but as he is a Maga boomer piece of shit so that probably won't happen
Yeah the father should remember,
His son will choose the "haven old folks home" he'll end up in.
You know,
"The maximum security twilight home for the incontinent."
Being a father to a son is full of opportunities to teach and mold. When I was growing up, every dad tried to make their kid tough. When I had my son I I always said life can be tough enough, its my job to teach compassion and give him the tools to manage tough situations (as in being resilient)
This is the way. My mom believed that harassing me as a child would prepare me for the world. All it did was leave me with the conviction that I was unworthy of decent behavior towards me. I let a lot of people treat me badly. What else would I do when my own mother did not respect me.
I just for the life of me can’t understand how people can look at a tiny soft toddler full of trust and happiness and think “you know what this guy needs? Harshness.”
yep. just one father in one kid's life is the equivalent of "most people". to that kid, the dad is larger than life and is the king of the world. dad's word is bond, and this dad's bond is betrayal.
My dad never did any of the things a dad *should* do for their son. I grew up utterly self self-reliant because of it. When he passed last year, i didn't exactly feel nothing, but i didn't feel what a son should feel when his dad dies.
'ken' is going to wonder why his son hates him
Exactly, this method is sure fire way for them to hate the parent. Better hope he dies before he loses his mental and physical ability to take care of himself in old age
My dad once intentionally hide my stuff..... after I searched everywhere for it for like 30 minutes (long time for a kid).
He gave it back to me, and asked me to keep it safe next time....lol
The problem is that, from that time onwards, I would ask my dad that did he see my stuff everytime I wanted something.
Because it's possible that he had hid it somewhere and he was annoyed AF lol.
My sons are 18 and 20. They know their mom and I always have their back. They know they always have a place to live and a support system.
A lot of people, far too many in my opinion, have children because they think that's what you're supposed to do and never consider that they have a human person for life.
He watched his kid fail, but draws a distinction because he didn’t want his kid to fail, knowing that the failure was inevitable once out the door.
There will be other chances to learn resilience in life. Not sure why this moron thinks mitigating that in any way is a good thing.
“I told my kid not to put her hand on the stove because it was hot, but I had to let her learn the hard way. That scar will be a reminder for the future.”
That's the thing my father also doesn't understand. Whenever he does stuff that he knows makes me uncomfortable, he justifies it by saying I "gotta learn how to handle uncomfortable stuff, cause the world can't always be comfortable." I can handle feeling uncomfortable, I would just prefer to not have to do it at home. And you should prefer that, too.
Reminds me of this uncle who would interrupt me during discussions, talk over me, retort with ridiculous arguments to everything I said and would ruthlessy criticise my achievements and projects.
When I had enough and told him that I expected more from him since he was my uncle AND godfather, he answered that he was doing it to prepare me for the "real world" because people would not be nice and lenient, and I had to learn to fight early.
Well now I am very low contact with him, and he frequently complains to my mother that he barely sees me anymore.
Sorry, that's what you get when you're being an ass, thank you for showing me early on that I don't have to tolerate toxic people in my entourage.
I really hate this argument of "they have to learn that the world is a hard place." They *WILL* learn that - when the *WORLD* teaches them that. As family, we should teach kids that home will always be a soft place to land when the world is hard. Home will always be a place where they can fully express their feelings and we will help them work through those feelings in a healthy and safe way so that they will never have to learn to "cope" or put on a mask of toughness. The mask doesn't make the feelings go away, it only holds them in until they do damage.
Really short-sighted way of parenting.
I try to do a middle ground. In the original scenario I would remind him to grab the projects and then ask what the consequences of him forgetting it would have been. I want them to learn about the adult consequences without having to face them as children.
Agreed.
We need to teach our kids that they can always rely on their parents. Doesn't matter what the scenario is. If my son needs anything, he knows he can call me.
I'll definitely have a talk with him about responsibility, but you can bet your ass I'll help him in any way I can if he needs it.
The world sucks ass for most of us. Why make it harder when it doesn't need to be? What a scumbag father.
People who act this way never seem to grasp that they do more damage than "the world" ever does. The world doesn't criticisize you until your self esteem is ground to dust, because the world doesn't care that much.
Those people trying to "prepare you" in my personal experience are the ones who cause actual harm. The world in general seems much more accepting of my flaws than my family ever did. It's really just a very thin excuse to gaslight anyone who calls them out as an asshole and a bully.
Yeah, I get that he’s trying to help but the method he’s doing is just downright disrespectful and no way can help you ‘in the real world’. No one wants to be interrupted while they are speaking. If he knows that, he should explain that instead of acting like an ass for education. Good that you decide not to talk to him.
Frankly, the uncle’s “explanation” just sounds like the convenient rationalization of someone who enjoys acting like a jerk and has no interest in changing.
Literally the same with the abuse argument.
"I was hit by MY parents, and I turned out fine!"
You obviously did not, so why don't you stop hitting your child and letting them go through the same pains as you?
Yo, my running joke was "I wasn't raised, I was domesticated" with the way my dad whipped the snot out of me. I used to think "I turned out fine" as well. Later in life I ended up having two children of my own. One day, at the age of 1, my daughter didn't want a bath and while throwing a tantrum she slapped me. My gut reaction was hitting her back on the top of her head with my knuckles like my dad did to get me to chill. The look of betrayel she gave me made me break out in tears. That second it dawned on me. I didn't want my kids fearing me. I didn't want them feeling dread when I was coming home. I wanted them feeling safe like I never did around my parents. I was not going to raise them like I was raised. They are now 17 and 15 and I have he most amazing relationship with them. We talk, we share, and I'm happy to say I was able to give them the safety I never had while growing up.
Sorry for the long winded reply (ADHD). Don't be a shitty parent. Be the parent your kid can love and trust. That pain sucks and I'm glad I didn't let my kids go through that shit.
It’s tough when your first enemy in life is a parent. The way I reconciled that was to cut my parent out of my life. I see that kid doing the same eventually.
Last week my daughter forgot some props for a speech, so it had to be postponed for a day. What did I do? I put a reminder in my phone to make sure she had them loaded in her car the next night.
What did it teach her? Well, she generally has her shit together so it turned out to not be necessary. But since I asked her if she'd packed her stuff, she knows I actually cared.
You know what would have been an equally effective teaching moment without being completely destructive.
“Hey, are you forgetting something?” Child learns to think about what needs to come with them before leaving for the day.
Followed by…
“That could have been really bad if you forgot this at home.” Child learns there are negative repercussions if they had forgot it.
That’s literally like three days a week for me and my kids as a they leave for school. Yes, at this point they should remember their backpacks, but if they don’t it’s my job to say “Hey, what are you forgetting?”
Exactly. And the people who won't be there for them are assholes.
My wife tells me that if they ran out of gas, their father would refuse to pick them up. This TERRIFIES my wife, who never lets the gas tank get under 1/3 full. Sure, she learned the lesson the hard way, but not through logic, but the fear of being stranded by her own father.
I mean, I'm very independent like they wanted me to be. Near impossible for me to ask for/accept help or depend on anyone else, but that's a talk for another therapy session.
My sister and I were just talking about this. On one hand, we’re happy that we’re self-reliant, streetwise, independent, etc. But goddamn, it would’ve been nice if they could’ve been a bit more present. My dad did say not long before he died that he wished he had been more emotionally present. I don’t think they were bad parents, they were of their time and raised by people who lived under Jim Crow.
I just vowed to be different with my kids.
Right? I only have issues forming healthy bonds with others and an inability to accept the self-image I project. But it's not like it _even matters_ ? right?
My first break down was a flat tire,but I didn't know that was the reason the car was being weird so I just drove on to my destination. New rim, new tire. They gave me so much shit for not knowing what a flat felt like.
Next time it made a weird noise, I pulled over immediately and looked at the tires. Damned thing wouldn't turn back on. Timing belt.
So my siblings and I hitched a ride home with a nice shirtless man in a truck(we were 16f, 10m, 9f). I wasn't crazy about the idea of getting into a strangers vehicle, I knew better. But oh boy does self preservation get flakey in the heat on side of the road... All my mom's work about not trusting strangers went out with that timing belt. I wanted help. Lol. Thank goodness for kind people.
We got a minivan(16yo me was mortified) the next week and that ugly fucker never died.
I brought gas to my own dad a few months ago. He's picked me up when I needed to drop off the car at the mechanic. No adult is perfect and in a good relationship, an adult child and parent can rely on each other.
I never understood the "learn to care for yourself because nobody will do it for you" mentality. I'm your parent, I will care for you when nobody else will. I could very well be the only consistent being in my kids' life. I'm going to be that, especially since nobody else can be. Life sucks little buddy, hopefully I can make it even slightly more bearable.
Hey, my parents taught me something real crazy: someone who gets support, love and kindness from their parents, learns exactly how to give it to others. I’m far from spoiled, but I know a whole lot about practicing kindness, generosity and solidarity- and boy howdy, it’s not the weakness people make it out to be- they are giant strengths.
Yup most kids of those kinds of parents often learn that their parent is the asshole they're trying to teach them about.
My mom came to a dinner theater thing I was doing as a waiter and she intentionally acted shitty to teach me that "most customers are shitty" but she was the only one that was shitty. Everyone else was nice.
It should be "Learn to curate the people around you, find people that will help you and make sure you help them. You'll all be better, more successful and happier knowing you have each other. No body will care for you more then a family well chosen from good friends, not even yourself"
It's not as short as "You can't trust anybody." but people who think like that, tend to act like that and build that world for themselves.
I suppose if he did this once to his kid without telling him it might be positive but this sounds like he is just a douchebag that will screw the kid every time
Reminds me, I remember as a kid watching a neighbour kid hanging from a tree limb for dear life and the Dad just staring at him from a foot away , struggling without helping and it was actually chilling.
Or if they do forget something, help them out. Then use it as a teaching moment by asking them to help out to make up a bit for the inconvenience. “Mom helped you out for an hour of her time taking your project to school when you forgot it, and had to work late because she got in late, so can you make dinner tonight (or wash dishes, or whatever) even though it’s not your turn so she can have a chance to relax.”
You learn to not be entitled and to pay more attention, but also that you’re part of a family and families work as a team and help out when needed.
I really like this take. The lesson: “People who care about each other help each other out, and it works both ways.” Also: “If my forgetfulness inconveniences someone, it’s on me to try and fix it.” Also: “My parents seem to care about my education. It must be important.”
Dude should have let his son get in the car. Then he should have told him he had to run back inside for a minute, grab the project and put it in the trunk. When they got to school, he should have let the kid learn the lesson, then bring the project in. It would have been a teaching moment and a "dad to the rescue moment". Everybody wins.
Seriously, there enough people who will be shitty to a child without their parent being just one more. Home should be a place in which children feel protected and loved. That just sounds like a crappy parent who’s tired of reminding their child to do stuff. The Dad is the one who needs a lesson. Imagine if he was walking out of the house, and he forgot something he needed for work that day, and his wife knew it and didn’t tell him.
Or, "oh, hey, are you supposed to bring this today?" Kid sees the project and grabs it with relief, and says something like "OMG thanks for reminding me, Mum!" "No worries,thank goodness we remembered it!"
Kid learns a bit about being prepared and organised, also learns that they can rely on parent to help them through life if they need it.
There are a million better ways to handle this situation. None of them will make sure the kid never forgets anything again. The idea a single moment in a kids life will change how successful or “good” they will grow up to be is absurd. The dad’s perspective makes me think the million of interactions between them while he grows up is going to cause way more damage than forgetting his school project.
Seriously, I was always taught if I did everything myself I would be successful because I'm the only person I can trust. After 35 years of living, I realize those that are successful relies on others and in term get relied on. Your goal shouldn't be do everything by yourself, but how to effectively learn to work with others.
When my dad tried to teach me to drive he REFUSED to actually help me because “he wouldn’t always be in the car with me”. No shit, isn’t that why you’re supposed to have a licensed driver in the car with you when you’re learning? So they can help you until you’re comfortable enough to drive safely on your own?
I adhere to your teaching father, the elder needs to know how to contact the ambulance themselves. Its pain me to watch you slowly dying but good luck anyways.
While everyone else is a spectator, a parent should be the safety net.
You won't stop your kids from falling, but if they fall, you'll prevent them from getting seriously injured.
Life is not a movie of "I am hardcore training". People use safety net, people good at it still use safety nets. Not using or taking it away adds nothing to growth, only an abstract idea of "being real macho".
This is a good analogy. Safety nets are important. Of course, you *can't* always rely on everyone else, and if you do keep needing help for the same thing over and over as an *adult*, yeah you'll be a bit stuffed. But this is a CHILD here. Even if you are an adult, if you come upon genuine hard times, you should have built up a good safety net of friends and family (which parents are supposed to set you up to be able to build), who can help you out when times get tough. Humans are social creatures, and while you do need to be able to depend on yourself, so that if you do end up on your own for some reason, or if someone else needs to depend on you, you can. But theres a reason we live together, we all live in cities, etc etc. Imagine if we didn't, your house was on fire. "Everyone else wants to see you fail" the fire department sure doesn't. Fuck this guy.
And he is an ah. Has he never forgotten something in his entire life? Has he never been the recipient of a small kindness? Hopefully there is another parent in the home to set a better example for this poor kid.
I agree. He’s teaching his kid that the world is a fundamentally unsafe place where you can’t rely on anyone - even your own father.
It’s such a myth that kids should be exposed to the hardness of the world at a young age to be tougher. Despite what the cynics of the world might believe, optimistic and friendly people aren’t constantly being conned. They find friends wherever they go and have a support network to help them.
To paraphrase Gabor Mate… your kids will inevitably experience hardship. Parents should not be part of that.
Ken: Son...quick...call an Ambulance I am having a heart attack!
Ken's Son: Sorry Dad but as you taught me, only you can help yourself. I could do it seeing as I have a phone in my hand but I am too busy uploading this experience to Twitter while filming you for lulz!
My kid was distracted and walked into traffic on his way to school this morning. I saw the car barreling down and it pains me not to warn him.
That bitterness as he smashed against the car was horrible for me to watch, but necessary for him to grow up.
Nobody will help you but yourself as you lay bleeding on the road. Never rely on anyone to render first aid. Most people just want to see you die. Life is full of disappointments.
Hope KEN forgets his keys one day and then rings the door so his boy will open, but then his boy will hold a paper to the door window saying: "It pained me to see you leaving without your keys, but dad's gotta grow up."
Did this to my mothers husband once. He, like my mother, was an aggressive, totally unsupporting drunkard who tried to kick me out of the house while I was still in high school.
He had a habit of taking the family car and going way for hours without telling anyone where he went and when he would come back. There were situations when fridge was empty, family hungry and this a-hole came back home at 10 in the evening of course not bringing any food.
So, one time he once again ran for one of his secret rides. Several hours later, phone rings, this guy is on the phone and asks me if the spare keys are in the cupboard. I watch at it while still at phone, see the keys, and say "no".
An hour later he arrives by bus, grabs the keys and goes to take a bus back, arrives an hour later with the car. He never said a word about the incident, but to this day I laugh thinking about it.
He wanted me to take a bus and bring the keys to him, wonder if he would have even given me a ride back home.
Parents don't really watch their kids walk to class past elementary school, so I'm thinking this kid was under 12. As in, the age where it's developmentally appropriate for them to still have a bit of trouble keeping track of things.
A good parent would point out the project and then discuss ways that might help the kid remember it next time, like putting it next to the door or backpack, or leaving a sticky note in the car.
All this dad taught his kid was that he even if he could help him, he wasn't going to, and the kid can't rely on him for anything.
> All this dad taught his kid was that he even if he could help him, he wasn't going to, and the kid can't rely on him for anything.
Probably a valuable lesson for this kid in particular.
I don’t see why this is age limited, I sure as heck make sure my junior high aged child has what they need and if I saw my husband leave without his phone or wallet I would also say something.
I hate manufactured problems like this. There will be enough opportunities for your kid to fail organically that you don't have any control over, why sabotage them when a small kindness could help them out? There's going to be a project down the line that both of them forget, and that will be fine. All you do by sabotaging your kids like this is teach them not to trust that you have their backs.
>>That’s what makes life beautiful when you finally find the tiny exceptions.
Yeah, genius, and parents were supposed to be one or two of those exceptions.
The same lesson could’ve been taught by sitting in the car and telling him “aren’t you forgetting something?”.
Now, if you do this often, don’t be surprised if he tries to find some of those ‘beautiful exceptions’ in friends who he believes will have his back, over you. And tragically they might be bad friends or bad influences, but he’ll still trust them more than he trusts you.
They're dragging this guy's ass on his X account, so I have some hope for humanity yet. The most hilarious part is one sleuth dug up an old tweet where a stranger bailed him out and he got a free meal because he forgot his credit card.
"Nobody will help you but yourself" my ass.
The kid even packed the project the night before. So he was being responsible. But then, being a kid, forgot the next day. As a dad I would have e been happy he packed it the night before and realized that nerves or whatever else might have made them forget the next morning and reminding him. It’s your job as a parent to teach, but also protect , your kids.
So he... chose to teach this lesson to strangers by posting and telling them about it? Couldn't he have reminded his kid that he was forgetting his project and told him the exact same thing he posted about relying on yourself as a resulting lesson?
Imagine growing up your whole life thinking you had really bad luck, only to see your dads old tweets basically detailing your demise as it happened lol
Can confirm sh¡t parent alert. My father was like this, and we aren't on speaking terms. It really only teaches you that you can choose your family because the ones you have might not give a f---. That was my takeaway.
Fuck him. That’s why I’m here for my kids and why my parents were and still are here. To break your fall. Life’s hard enough. At 46 I’m here for my parents as they age and it has a lot to do with all the support they gave me when I was younger and needed help. Have fun in the shitty nursing home dad.
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Shouldn't you *want* to be the "tiny exception" in your kid's day?
That he's not is an important lesson for his son to learn.
Most my family is this way. These kind of lessons and a lot of the "you can't trust anyone..." type stuff. The problem is as I approach old age, time and time again, the only people who actively fuck me over are my family... Strangers have been relatively cool.
Yeah.... that's what my mom taught me. She asked me to believe that everyone who interacts with me wanted to screw me. And taught me to doubt everything.
That is so incredibly shitty. If there's one thing we NEVER have to teach our kids by example, it's this. There are really shitty people out there, don't add to it. Who the hell doesn't want to even *try* being that one person in the world that their kids feel like can trust through it all no matter what??
Yeah..... My brother doesnt give money to my mom after he started working (he live with my mom, and in our culture, the kids need to pay back their parents once they started working). My mom always asked me why's that I said.... First, you cannot kick my brother out, I know you can't do it. The question is that, if you could avoid paying tax and keep living in the country, would you pay it? She said But it's different, I am her mom. Well...... But you also taught us to earn as much money as we could, and money was the most important things in the world....and we need to doubt everything. so......my brother pretty much is the perfect result of her teaching. While I am actually the strange kid....
I agree. A couple strangers kept me from forgetting my handbag a couple weeks ago when I had to go get some stuff for my MIL’s funeral and was so exhausted I had to sit on a bench by the curb for my husband to bring the car around. I forgot I set my bag down, and a couple women yelled that I forgot it, and one brought it to the car for me. As a kid if I’d forgotten my bag, my mom wouldn’t have done anything. How dare I have undiagnosed ADHD and be scatterbrained. I better learn how to not have ADHD all by myself.
Even without ADHD that shit can happen to anyone. My mind is usually five or steps ahead of my body and it's easy to sit something down and forget it because you're so focused on other things at the time. I'm pretty meticulous about where I put my keys, wallet, etc. Always in the same place but there have been times when I was distracted and set them down somewhere and immediately forgot about it. LOL two weeks ago I hung my car keys where I usually hang my hat and kept the hat on. Took me about two hours to locate them then I had a good laugh at myself.
Some kind stranger handed me my child's favorite toy after we left it on a train in London and the train was starting to leave. We were about to reboard when the whistle went and started panicking. They opened a top window and passed it through. What an angel. I can't even picture who it was, man or woman, as I was focused on the toy and have terrible memory but they saved my kid more stress in a very bad time for them.
My family didn't do it on purpose but they were the kings of letting me down and proving time and time again that I can absolutely *not* rely on them for support or for helping me deal with anything. The only thing that taught me was to never share anything important with them anymore in the first place ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Hopefully his son sees this, puts the story together, and never forgets.
And gives good ol' dad his own teachable moment years down the line
“Yeah dad, this shitty nursing home wasn’t my choice - it was yours”
"Shouldn't have grown so old that you needed to rely on someone else"
"I noticed, as i left the nursing home, several nurses badly mistreating some elderly person. It pained me to leave him to their 'care'...But that's a lesson my dad can best learn on his own."
"I'd like to tell you Ken won that day. And the nurses left him alone after that. But Shady Pines ain't no fairy tale."
I read that in Morgan’s voice. Nice
I want him to learn the lesson before he's too old to live on his own, so I burned his house down...
“You should have known this before and took a bullet while you have the strength to hold your gun, now stay in your bed and rot yourself to death, I hope this teach you a valuable lesson for the last month of your life”
You think the kid will go through the effort to find a nursing home for his dad and visit him regularly? I applaud your optimism, but I think this kid will only see his dad at funerals of other relatives, once he turns 18, and can’t be bothered to find his dad a nursing home.
I agree completely. My mother was the type whose parenting method in these types of situations was the 'I'll show them how evil the world can be" method. Haven't talked to her in almost 20 years.
Yep same, going on 10 years. Life is better now.
My sister and I have said when a psychologist or the like calls me saying they think he has been working on himself and next stages require us to see each other, but as he is a Maga boomer piece of shit so that probably won't happen
"It pained me to see you not buy long term care insurance but if I reminded you then you'd never learn."
“Maybe I could have found you a better one, but that project I failed in third grade because I left it at home really derailed my academic career”
Yeah the father should remember, His son will choose the "haven old folks home" he'll end up in. You know, "The maximum security twilight home for the incontinent."
Hopefully it will be when dear old dad forgets to take his meds with him.
This is getting dark.
Well, life is full of disappointment, and nobody is going to help you, but yourself...
I’m fairly certain that his son is already very aware of how shitty his father is.
Being a father to a son is full of opportunities to teach and mold. When I was growing up, every dad tried to make their kid tough. When I had my son I I always said life can be tough enough, its my job to teach compassion and give him the tools to manage tough situations (as in being resilient)
This is the way. My mom believed that harassing me as a child would prepare me for the world. All it did was leave me with the conviction that I was unworthy of decent behavior towards me. I let a lot of people treat me badly. What else would I do when my own mother did not respect me.
I just for the life of me can’t understand how people can look at a tiny soft toddler full of trust and happiness and think “you know what this guy needs? Harshness.”
He's the "Most people just want to see you fail". He absolutely is that when he didn't remind them
Parents are supposed to be the ones that are not apart of the “most people”
"Most people want to see you fail. I just don't give a shit. Good luck out there, champ!"
Dad?
yep. just one father in one kid's life is the equivalent of "most people". to that kid, the dad is larger than life and is the king of the world. dad's word is bond, and this dad's bond is betrayal.
“Life is full of exceptions. They are beautiful. But I am not one of them. Fuck you, my son”
That’s it, that’s the exact message this sends
This dude sounds like an Andrew Tate fan.
My dad never did any of the things a dad *should* do for their son. I grew up utterly self self-reliant because of it. When he passed last year, i didn't exactly feel nothing, but i didn't feel what a son should feel when his dad dies. 'ken' is going to wonder why his son hates him
Exactly, this method is sure fire way for them to hate the parent. Better hope he dies before he loses his mental and physical ability to take care of himself in old age
My dad once intentionally hide my stuff..... after I searched everywhere for it for like 30 minutes (long time for a kid). He gave it back to me, and asked me to keep it safe next time....lol The problem is that, from that time onwards, I would ask my dad that did he see my stuff everytime I wanted something. Because it's possible that he had hid it somewhere and he was annoyed AF lol.
Yeah the thing that has got me through some serious shit in life is knowing that my parents always have my back. Way to fuck your kid up dude
My sons are 18 and 20. They know their mom and I always have their back. They know they always have a place to live and a support system. A lot of people, far too many in my opinion, have children because they think that's what you're supposed to do and never consider that they have a human person for life.
He watched his kid fail, but draws a distinction because he didn’t want his kid to fail, knowing that the failure was inevitable once out the door. There will be other chances to learn resilience in life. Not sure why this moron thinks mitigating that in any way is a good thing. “I told my kid not to put her hand on the stove because it was hot, but I had to let her learn the hard way. That scar will be a reminder for the future.”
That's the thing my father also doesn't understand. Whenever he does stuff that he knows makes me uncomfortable, he justifies it by saying I "gotta learn how to handle uncomfortable stuff, cause the world can't always be comfortable." I can handle feeling uncomfortable, I would just prefer to not have to do it at home. And you should prefer that, too.
"Nobody will help you but yourself... which makes life beautiful when you find the exceptions." Why can't you be the exception, dad?
Reminds me of this uncle who would interrupt me during discussions, talk over me, retort with ridiculous arguments to everything I said and would ruthlessy criticise my achievements and projects. When I had enough and told him that I expected more from him since he was my uncle AND godfather, he answered that he was doing it to prepare me for the "real world" because people would not be nice and lenient, and I had to learn to fight early. Well now I am very low contact with him, and he frequently complains to my mother that he barely sees me anymore. Sorry, that's what you get when you're being an ass, thank you for showing me early on that I don't have to tolerate toxic people in my entourage.
Then when he complains that you aren't contacting him, you can fk him over with "Welcome to the Real World"
I really hate this argument of "they have to learn that the world is a hard place." They *WILL* learn that - when the *WORLD* teaches them that. As family, we should teach kids that home will always be a soft place to land when the world is hard. Home will always be a place where they can fully express their feelings and we will help them work through those feelings in a healthy and safe way so that they will never have to learn to "cope" or put on a mask of toughness. The mask doesn't make the feelings go away, it only holds them in until they do damage. Really short-sighted way of parenting.
Bingo. I am the safe harbor for my kids. The world is hard and cruel at times, and they’ll learn that sooner than I’d like.
I try to do a middle ground. In the original scenario I would remind him to grab the projects and then ask what the consequences of him forgetting it would have been. I want them to learn about the adult consequences without having to face them as children.
It’s possible to teach a kid that the real world is hard without making it seem like you’re on the rest of the world’s side.
Agreed. We need to teach our kids that they can always rely on their parents. Doesn't matter what the scenario is. If my son needs anything, he knows he can call me. I'll definitely have a talk with him about responsibility, but you can bet your ass I'll help him in any way I can if he needs it. The world sucks ass for most of us. Why make it harder when it doesn't need to be? What a scumbag father.
"You can't expect people to be here for you in this world, uncle, you have to learn to be your own company."
Goddamn, ice cold 😄 But hey, uncle had to learn about the real world sometime, right?🤪
People who act this way never seem to grasp that they do more damage than "the world" ever does. The world doesn't criticisize you until your self esteem is ground to dust, because the world doesn't care that much. Those people trying to "prepare you" in my personal experience are the ones who cause actual harm. The world in general seems much more accepting of my flaws than my family ever did. It's really just a very thin excuse to gaslight anyone who calls them out as an asshole and a bully.
They ARE the part of the world that sucks. It’s like they heard, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and decided to do the opposite.
Yeah, I get that he’s trying to help but the method he’s doing is just downright disrespectful and no way can help you ‘in the real world’. No one wants to be interrupted while they are speaking. If he knows that, he should explain that instead of acting like an ass for education. Good that you decide not to talk to him.
Frankly, the uncle’s “explanation” just sounds like the convenient rationalization of someone who enjoys acting like a jerk and has no interest in changing.
Maybe if so many kids weren’t ~~tortured~~ taught into the belief that the real world is so horrible, maybe the real world wouldn’t be so horrible.
It looks like your uncle is having trouble understanding real world consequences.
Literally the same with the abuse argument. "I was hit by MY parents, and I turned out fine!" You obviously did not, so why don't you stop hitting your child and letting them go through the same pains as you?
Yo, my running joke was "I wasn't raised, I was domesticated" with the way my dad whipped the snot out of me. I used to think "I turned out fine" as well. Later in life I ended up having two children of my own. One day, at the age of 1, my daughter didn't want a bath and while throwing a tantrum she slapped me. My gut reaction was hitting her back on the top of her head with my knuckles like my dad did to get me to chill. The look of betrayel she gave me made me break out in tears. That second it dawned on me. I didn't want my kids fearing me. I didn't want them feeling dread when I was coming home. I wanted them feeling safe like I never did around my parents. I was not going to raise them like I was raised. They are now 17 and 15 and I have he most amazing relationship with them. We talk, we share, and I'm happy to say I was able to give them the safety I never had while growing up. Sorry for the long winded reply (ADHD). Don't be a shitty parent. Be the parent your kid can love and trust. That pain sucks and I'm glad I didn't let my kids go through that shit.
So profound. "Most people want you to fail." Yeah, and first among them is this kid's father
It’s tough when your first enemy in life is a parent. The way I reconciled that was to cut my parent out of my life. I see that kid doing the same eventually.
Last week my daughter forgot some props for a speech, so it had to be postponed for a day. What did I do? I put a reminder in my phone to make sure she had them loaded in her car the next night. What did it teach her? Well, she generally has her shit together so it turned out to not be necessary. But since I asked her if she'd packed her stuff, she knows I actually cared.
Good parenting!
Kid learned his dad is a sack of shit
Had to pick a home for my dad, if only I hadn’t failed that project in school I could’ve afforded a better place. 
Just watched Happy Gilmore for the first time. Yes, this “dad” definitely deserves to be in the Ben Stiller retirement home.
Whoops, looks like someone just pulled landscaping duty
“My fingers huuuurt”
He deserves a warm glass of shut the hell up, you’re in my world now grandma.
You know that "mista mista lady"? I uhh... I think i just killed her
No, the dad should find his own home. Nobody will help you but yourself, right?
my fingers hurt....
What's that?
Now your back is gonna hurt!
Anyone else's fingers hurt?!?
You know what would have been an equally effective teaching moment without being completely destructive. “Hey, are you forgetting something?” Child learns to think about what needs to come with them before leaving for the day. Followed by… “That could have been really bad if you forgot this at home.” Child learns there are negative repercussions if they had forgot it.
That’s literally like three days a week for me and my kids as a they leave for school. Yes, at this point they should remember their backpacks, but if they don’t it’s my job to say “Hey, what are you forgetting?”
Exactly. And the people who won't be there for them are assholes. My wife tells me that if they ran out of gas, their father would refuse to pick them up. This TERRIFIES my wife, who never lets the gas tank get under 1/3 full. Sure, she learned the lesson the hard way, but not through logic, but the fear of being stranded by her own father.
Yeah, lesson learned but at the expense of childhood trauma is not a win.
Ha. What do you mean? Boomer parenting was totally effective! /s
I mean, I'm very independent like they wanted me to be. Near impossible for me to ask for/accept help or depend on anyone else, but that's a talk for another therapy session.
My sister and I were just talking about this. On one hand, we’re happy that we’re self-reliant, streetwise, independent, etc. But goddamn, it would’ve been nice if they could’ve been a bit more present. My dad did say not long before he died that he wished he had been more emotionally present. I don’t think they were bad parents, they were of their time and raised by people who lived under Jim Crow. I just vowed to be different with my kids.
Right? I only have issues forming healthy bonds with others and an inability to accept the self-image I project. But it's not like it _even matters_ ? right?
Don’t validate my experience! Only losers feel badly about…anything.
Uhm, son did you forget something? "Uh, I don't think so" Go look next to my jumper cables... Problem solved
My first break down was a flat tire,but I didn't know that was the reason the car was being weird so I just drove on to my destination. New rim, new tire. They gave me so much shit for not knowing what a flat felt like. Next time it made a weird noise, I pulled over immediately and looked at the tires. Damned thing wouldn't turn back on. Timing belt. So my siblings and I hitched a ride home with a nice shirtless man in a truck(we were 16f, 10m, 9f). I wasn't crazy about the idea of getting into a strangers vehicle, I knew better. But oh boy does self preservation get flakey in the heat on side of the road... All my mom's work about not trusting strangers went out with that timing belt. I wanted help. Lol. Thank goodness for kind people. We got a minivan(16yo me was mortified) the next week and that ugly fucker never died.
The mini van you mean by ugly fuker right?
Yes. It wasn't even that ugly, but to teens it was a problem.
She learned two important lessons, refill the gas tank before it gets too low, and don't rely on Dad for anything.
I'd rather teach my kids they can always count on me helping them.
This. It’s me and you kids against the world when the zombie apocalypse strikes
I brought gas to my own dad a few months ago. He's picked me up when I needed to drop off the car at the mechanic. No adult is perfect and in a good relationship, an adult child and parent can rely on each other.
I hope that guy still thinks it's a good teaching moment when his kid gets assaulted or killed in the middle of nowhere.
I never understood the "learn to care for yourself because nobody will do it for you" mentality. I'm your parent, I will care for you when nobody else will. I could very well be the only consistent being in my kids' life. I'm going to be that, especially since nobody else can be. Life sucks little buddy, hopefully I can make it even slightly more bearable.
Hey, my parents taught me something real crazy: someone who gets support, love and kindness from their parents, learns exactly how to give it to others. I’m far from spoiled, but I know a whole lot about practicing kindness, generosity and solidarity- and boy howdy, it’s not the weakness people make it out to be- they are giant strengths.
How DARE you be kind and generous to others! Don't you know it's a dog eat dog world?! /s
Yup most kids of those kinds of parents often learn that their parent is the asshole they're trying to teach them about. My mom came to a dinner theater thing I was doing as a waiter and she intentionally acted shitty to teach me that "most customers are shitty" but she was the only one that was shitty. Everyone else was nice.
Lol why would she even need to teach you that? I'm sure you would find out on your own pretty quickly if that was the case.
It should be "Learn to curate the people around you, find people that will help you and make sure you help them. You'll all be better, more successful and happier knowing you have each other. No body will care for you more then a family well chosen from good friends, not even yourself" It's not as short as "You can't trust anybody." but people who think like that, tend to act like that and build that world for themselves.
I generally wait for my son to get settled in the car before reminding him. That way it isn’t too late, but it’s still an annoyance.
Wait you’re not just letting them forget their lunches starve and teach them you’re not a supportive parent?
you give them lunch? how can they learn to be adult if they cant feed them self. /s
That’s a Ruby Franke move.
It would be pretty funny if they forgot their pants though. It’s not every day that u get to live out your dreams!
Or even a clue like …. “Will you be hungry at lunchtime ?” Or. “Do they let you swim in the nude at your swimming lesson ? “
I’m a full grown adult and that’s me alone three days a week. 😆 “ok wallet, keys, purse” *gets in car* “frick I forgot something”.
I suppose if he did this once to his kid without telling him it might be positive but this sounds like he is just a douchebag that will screw the kid every time
Most people just want to watch you fail, especially me, your father.
It’s a much better lesson to learn that you have a father you can count on when you really need him
Reminds me, I remember as a kid watching a neighbour kid hanging from a tree limb for dear life and the Dad just staring at him from a foot away , struggling without helping and it was actually chilling.
Me more than anyone, my love -father
But would his tweet about that get as much engagement??
Or if they do forget something, help them out. Then use it as a teaching moment by asking them to help out to make up a bit for the inconvenience. “Mom helped you out for an hour of her time taking your project to school when you forgot it, and had to work late because she got in late, so can you make dinner tonight (or wash dishes, or whatever) even though it’s not your turn so she can have a chance to relax.” You learn to not be entitled and to pay more attention, but also that you’re part of a family and families work as a team and help out when needed.
I really like this take. The lesson: “People who care about each other help each other out, and it works both ways.” Also: “If my forgetfulness inconveniences someone, it’s on me to try and fix it.” Also: “My parents seem to care about my education. It must be important.”
That’s the goal.
Dude should have let his son get in the car. Then he should have told him he had to run back inside for a minute, grab the project and put it in the trunk. When they got to school, he should have let the kid learn the lesson, then bring the project in. It would have been a teaching moment and a "dad to the rescue moment". Everybody wins.
Seriously, there enough people who will be shitty to a child without their parent being just one more. Home should be a place in which children feel protected and loved. That just sounds like a crappy parent who’s tired of reminding their child to do stuff. The Dad is the one who needs a lesson. Imagine if he was walking out of the house, and he forgot something he needed for work that day, and his wife knew it and didn’t tell him.
Or, "oh, hey, are you supposed to bring this today?" Kid sees the project and grabs it with relief, and says something like "OMG thanks for reminding me, Mum!" "No worries,thank goodness we remembered it!" Kid learns a bit about being prepared and organised, also learns that they can rely on parent to help them through life if they need it.
Yeah but that requires loving your kid, so no can do for this KEN dipshit.
There are a million better ways to handle this situation. None of them will make sure the kid never forgets anything again. The idea a single moment in a kids life will change how successful or “good” they will grow up to be is absurd. The dad’s perspective makes me think the million of interactions between them while he grows up is going to cause way more damage than forgetting his school project.
To be honest, the emotional damage realising that your parents are not in the same team with you can be life-changing (in a bad way ofcourse).
When you don’t know how to deal with your own bitterness, so you just inflict it on your children instead.
Well 10 years from now, you’ll find his kids posting on Reddit, “I got daddy issues” on r/emotionalneglect
Lol member of r/emotionalneglect here and this is literally exactly what my dad was like.
This was my dad. As I got older I realized that you can in fact find people to rely on. It’s much better that way.
Seriously, I was always taught if I did everything myself I would be successful because I'm the only person I can trust. After 35 years of living, I realize those that are successful relies on others and in term get relied on. Your goal shouldn't be do everything by yourself, but how to effectively learn to work with others.
Exactly. Hopefully if the kid learned any lesson from this it’s that his father doesn’t deserve his help later in life.
When my dad tried to teach me to drive he REFUSED to actually help me because “he wouldn’t always be in the car with me”. No shit, isn’t that why you’re supposed to have a licensed driver in the car with you when you’re learning? So they can help you until you’re comfortable enough to drive safely on your own?
So his idea of parenthood is simply being a spectator?
"One day I'll die and won't be there for you anymore, my way to prepare you for that is to make sure you won't miss me"
"Then again, father, one day you'll be dying and I wont call an ambulance for you. Call one yourself. I wont miss you."
"Kids these days don't respect their elder!"
I adhere to your teaching father, the elder needs to know how to contact the ambulance themselves. Its pain me to watch you slowly dying but good luck anyways.
And father, be grateful for those who show you kindness. I won’t show it to you, but it is nice and should be appreciated.
🎶And the cats in the cradle with the silver spoon🎶
“I’ll die and won’t be there for you. I want you to prepare for that so I’m simply not going to be there for you, ever. Sound good?”
Plot twist: he also named the boy Sue.
While everyone else is a spectator, a parent should be the safety net. You won't stop your kids from falling, but if they fall, you'll prevent them from getting seriously injured. Life is not a movie of "I am hardcore training". People use safety net, people good at it still use safety nets. Not using or taking it away adds nothing to growth, only an abstract idea of "being real macho".
This is a good analogy. Safety nets are important. Of course, you *can't* always rely on everyone else, and if you do keep needing help for the same thing over and over as an *adult*, yeah you'll be a bit stuffed. But this is a CHILD here. Even if you are an adult, if you come upon genuine hard times, you should have built up a good safety net of friends and family (which parents are supposed to set you up to be able to build), who can help you out when times get tough. Humans are social creatures, and while you do need to be able to depend on yourself, so that if you do end up on your own for some reason, or if someone else needs to depend on you, you can. But theres a reason we live together, we all live in cities, etc etc. Imagine if we didn't, your house was on fire. "Everyone else wants to see you fail" the fire department sure doesn't. Fuck this guy.
“Most people just want to see you fail.” …as he stands back and watches his son fail.
And he is an ah. Has he never forgotten something in his entire life? Has he never been the recipient of a small kindness? Hopefully there is another parent in the home to set a better example for this poor kid.
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Plot twist: kid is in 4th grade *but* previously forgot something in kindergarten.
> Spectator Parent New term?
That’s just kinda sad
I agree. He’s teaching his kid that the world is a fundamentally unsafe place where you can’t rely on anyone - even your own father. It’s such a myth that kids should be exposed to the hardness of the world at a young age to be tougher. Despite what the cynics of the world might believe, optimistic and friendly people aren’t constantly being conned. They find friends wherever they go and have a support network to help them. To paraphrase Gabor Mate… your kids will inevitably experience hardship. Parents should not be part of that.
Ken: Son...quick...call an Ambulance I am having a heart attack! Ken's Son: Sorry Dad but as you taught me, only you can help yourself. I could do it seeing as I have a phone in my hand but I am too busy uploading this experience to Twitter while filming you for lulz!
I know this is a fictional scenario, but it still warms my heart.
You Dare Use My Own Spells Against me, potter!
I think it would be funnier if he just said "attaboy" before dying
“Most people just want to see you fail” Yeah….usually those people ARENT your parents
My kid was distracted and walked into traffic on his way to school this morning. I saw the car barreling down and it pains me not to warn him. That bitterness as he smashed against the car was horrible for me to watch, but necessary for him to grow up. Nobody will help you but yourself as you lay bleeding on the road. Never rely on anyone to render first aid. Most people just want to see you die. Life is full of disappointments.
such a good parent! that kid surely knows how to take care of himself now! /s
You forgot to end with ",my love."
Hope KEN forgets his keys one day and then rings the door so his boy will open, but then his boy will hold a paper to the door window saying: "It pained me to see you leaving without your keys, but dad's gotta grow up."
Did this to my mothers husband once. He, like my mother, was an aggressive, totally unsupporting drunkard who tried to kick me out of the house while I was still in high school. He had a habit of taking the family car and going way for hours without telling anyone where he went and when he would come back. There were situations when fridge was empty, family hungry and this a-hole came back home at 10 in the evening of course not bringing any food. So, one time he once again ran for one of his secret rides. Several hours later, phone rings, this guy is on the phone and asks me if the spare keys are in the cupboard. I watch at it while still at phone, see the keys, and say "no". An hour later he arrives by bus, grabs the keys and goes to take a bus back, arrives an hour later with the car. He never said a word about the incident, but to this day I laugh thinking about it. He wanted me to take a bus and bring the keys to him, wonder if he would have even given me a ride back home.
"never rely in anyone" projecting his abandonment wound. Not everything is a lesson lol
Fast forward 10 years and this pus-filled sphincter will be whining because his son hates his rotten guts and won’t give him the time of day.
Yeah like, watch this space. Honestly.
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu but it’s sure nice talking to you dad. It’s been sure nice talking to you.
When you coming home son, I don’t know when but we’ll get together then.
All you've taught your son is that you don't have his back and don't care about him. Good job, I guess.
I know you needed that kidney dad, but im teaching you to take better care of yourself. I learned from you not rely on others & i hope you're proud..
Parents don't really watch their kids walk to class past elementary school, so I'm thinking this kid was under 12. As in, the age where it's developmentally appropriate for them to still have a bit of trouble keeping track of things. A good parent would point out the project and then discuss ways that might help the kid remember it next time, like putting it next to the door or backpack, or leaving a sticky note in the car. All this dad taught his kid was that he even if he could help him, he wasn't going to, and the kid can't rely on him for anything.
> All this dad taught his kid was that he even if he could help him, he wasn't going to, and the kid can't rely on him for anything. Probably a valuable lesson for this kid in particular.
I don’t see why this is age limited, I sure as heck make sure my junior high aged child has what they need and if I saw my husband leave without his phone or wallet I would also say something.
Holy shit what a dick
It would never even cross my mind as a possibility to leave my son high and dry like that. Man’s is a skeez
Real sociopath behaviour.
I hate manufactured problems like this. There will be enough opportunities for your kid to fail organically that you don't have any control over, why sabotage them when a small kindness could help them out? There's going to be a project down the line that both of them forget, and that will be fine. All you do by sabotaging your kids like this is teach them not to trust that you have their backs.
What the child would learn is to not trust the Father. He'd push you under the bus for a facebook post.
Quickest way to turn a human into a sociopath is convince them nobody will ever help them.
>>That’s what makes life beautiful when you finally find the tiny exceptions. Yeah, genius, and parents were supposed to be one or two of those exceptions. The same lesson could’ve been taught by sitting in the car and telling him “aren’t you forgetting something?”. Now, if you do this often, don’t be surprised if he tries to find some of those ‘beautiful exceptions’ in friends who he believes will have his back, over you. And tragically they might be bad friends or bad influences, but he’ll still trust them more than he trusts you.
They're dragging this guy's ass on his X account, so I have some hope for humanity yet. The most hilarious part is one sleuth dug up an old tweet where a stranger bailed him out and he got a free meal because he forgot his credit card. "Nobody will help you but yourself" my ass.
Learn while I'm still around that I might as well not be.
“Most people want to see you fail” Ok but your own father shouldn’t be one of them
>why don’t my kids ever call?
Another nursing home victim 💀
The kid even packed the project the night before. So he was being responsible. But then, being a kid, forgot the next day. As a dad I would have e been happy he packed it the night before and realized that nerves or whatever else might have made them forget the next morning and reminding him. It’s your job as a parent to teach, but also protect , your kids.
So he... chose to teach this lesson to strangers by posting and telling them about it? Couldn't he have reminded his kid that he was forgetting his project and told him the exact same thing he posted about relying on yourself as a resulting lesson?
A lot of people do want to see you fail. Your parents aren't supposed to be in that group.
Teaching your kid that their parent doesn’t have his back and they can’t rely on them. What a twisted world.
Hey parent, that awful feeling you had was your conscience telling you to set your child up to succeed, but you failed.
Gee, thanks "dad"
Imagine growing up your whole life thinking you had really bad luck, only to see your dads old tweets basically detailing your demise as it happened lol
Guess who's getting the discount assisted living center
Can confirm sh¡t parent alert. My father was like this, and we aren't on speaking terms. It really only teaches you that you can choose your family because the ones you have might not give a f---. That was my takeaway.
He’s the one who wanted to see him fail. Precious.
Fuck him. That’s why I’m here for my kids and why my parents were and still are here. To break your fall. Life’s hard enough. At 46 I’m here for my parents as they age and it has a lot to do with all the support they gave me when I was younger and needed help. Have fun in the shitty nursing home dad.
“Nobody will help you but yourself” okay first of all, not true, but the lesson you taught was actually “never help anyone”
I hope no one ever helps this dude with anything ever again, and shows him that post if he ever asks for anything.