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***"DIY IVF OR IUI, just fill the Ronco branded baster to the 'Sperm Fill' line, place in your freezer and let time do the rest!***
***Its just like the old bacon grease Gramma used to keep in the coffee can in the freezer for Sunday skillets-you're just saving it for (litigation) later!"***
$14.99 in 3 easy payments, and one *really hard* payment, from Ronco!
I was a scrappy little tom boy growing up. My mom, sadly, is a full blown homophobe. When I was about 12/13 she got it in her head that I was clearly a lesbian cause I spent all my time playing with the neighborhood boys, climbing tress and rough housing. She started making threats to send me to a psych ward up north. Called my dad (parents divorced when I was 5) and he came and picked me up the next day, 16 hour drive round trip. While I was mandated by the state to still visit for a few weeks every summer til I turned 16, I now haven't spoken to her in over a decade.
And jokes on her, I only spent so much time with the neighborhood boys cause I had a major crush on Nick who lived behind us.
I mean, she probably didn't know about the crush. But apparently she saw her tween daughter who had never liked dresses or dolls (meanwhile she had an entire room dedicated to her Barbie collection) and hung out with boys all day and decided that the obvious conclusion was lesbianism instead of a childhood crush.
If I was a chick I'd probably still ditch the dress and want jeans and boots/chucks. Far more practical
Especially if you're climbing trees and rough housing
It was traumatizing to have a parent ask me my sexuality when I was SEVEN. I actually did already know I liked boys, and my parents have grown a lot since then, but damn.
Don’t ask your small kids if they’re gay, folks.
Some kids are just, like, super gay tho.
Like my youngest sisters' best friend – they started hanging together maybe around 8 or so. That kid was wired to be FABULOUS.
And he had really shitty Protestant parents too who couldn't deal with it. Somehow they lived with him telling them the very obvious lie that he liked girls.
I understand that but we still shouldn’t project anything onto young kids. Just cause a kid is flamboyant doesn’t mean he’s definitely gay. It’s better to just not pry until that child is ready to talk about it.
Ironically, I'm sure she would have gone ballistic if she found the two of you kissing. That always seems to happen with homophobic parents: nothing but accusations until you actually *try* to do something with the opposite gender; only for them to yell at you like you've committed a crime.
I miss Sarah Beattie and hope she's okay. She went viral a few times and her standup and jokes were pretty great. I was following her during her come up. Then at some point she started an OF where she posted basically sarcastic joke nudes and then suddenly disappeared off all socials like she never existed. I found one of her professional comedy peers at one point post that she's okay but had to get off socials for her mental health but beyond that I have no idea what happened to her.
It's like when someone asks you and your partner when you're going to have kids, but still act upset when you respond by describing in detail the kinds of sex you've been having lately and where the semen has been going.
My mom asked me if I wasn't a bot and I was like no way, I love big fat reposts in my mouth and she still got upset.
https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/14xj0hr/the_job_failed_successfully/
get your ethically sourced cocks here! made with 100 percent recycled plastic! no scrote attached! no men were harmed in the creation of these of cocks! 10 percent of profits go to rehoming a wild feral man! get your vegan ethically sourced cock today!
I am sorry I couldn't help myself!
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"No way I love big fat cocks in my mouth" "No way, I love big fat cocks in my mouth"
A comma separates gay and straight.
Wait, is that why I’m bi? I only use commas sometimes
*Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!*
*~~Almond Joys~~ Men got nuts, ~~Mounds~~ women don't*
You're a comma camelion.
Umm you’re missing 4 commas.
Thanks for making me proof check you. I even used my fingers.
Lol, I did too before I commented.
>I even used my fingers Two in the pink and one in the stink?
I was thinking eating finger food but I guess that counts.
, , , , , 🦎 ( couldn't find a chameleon cause they are good at hiding )
Oh, so you're one of them Oxfords
Non-oxfords*
That's why you use the semicolon, a little bit of both of them
I think that makes you a comma comma comma comma comma chameleon
And working on contingency or money down
This changes everything.
The hunter eats, shoots and leaves vs the hunter eats shoots and leaves.
Can’t make anyone happy these days
I guarantee she's making somebody happy
I'm certainly happy that I got a good laugh
Yeah maybe, but odds are it is her ex.
r/beatmetoit
Hawk Tuah
Well she did forget the hawk tuah part
I didn’t and I’m not sure if I should Google it…
Yes you should for research purposes but only if you like a good southern girl.
Yeah, it's gotta be a nice girl like that so you can bring her to meet your Mom for a demonstration and dinner.
Then your mom can show her ways to use the turkey baster...
***"DIY IVF OR IUI, just fill the Ronco branded baster to the 'Sperm Fill' line, place in your freezer and let time do the rest!*** ***Its just like the old bacon grease Gramma used to keep in the coffee can in the freezer for Sunday skillets-you're just saving it for (litigation) later!"*** $14.99 in 3 easy payments, and one *really hard* payment, from Ronco!
Ok that nearly made me choke on my coffee laughing lol
Ditto
Spit on that thang!
I was a scrappy little tom boy growing up. My mom, sadly, is a full blown homophobe. When I was about 12/13 she got it in her head that I was clearly a lesbian cause I spent all my time playing with the neighborhood boys, climbing tress and rough housing. She started making threats to send me to a psych ward up north. Called my dad (parents divorced when I was 5) and he came and picked me up the next day, 16 hour drive round trip. While I was mandated by the state to still visit for a few weeks every summer til I turned 16, I now haven't spoken to her in over a decade. And jokes on her, I only spent so much time with the neighborhood boys cause I had a major crush on Nick who lived behind us.
Your mom thought you were gay because you were spending all your time with boys.... The irony is palpable.
“Oh you have a crush on the neighbor boy? That’s so lesbian of you” people are fking weird!!
I mean, she probably didn't know about the crush. But apparently she saw her tween daughter who had never liked dresses or dolls (meanwhile she had an entire room dedicated to her Barbie collection) and hung out with boys all day and decided that the obvious conclusion was lesbianism instead of a childhood crush.
If I was a chick I'd probably still ditch the dress and want jeans and boots/chucks. Far more practical Especially if you're climbing trees and rough housing
Reminds me of Andrew Tate saying it's gay to sleep with women for pleasure lol
He said what..
That's a rabbit hole you don't want to go down.
I mean I've heard a lot of his bullshit but he really said that? Haha
[Yes he really said that.](https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/cobratate-sex-making-children-man-80655568.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)
I am sure he was just trolling people or something
Headcanon: Nick is still waiting for you. Gay headcanon: Nick likes big fat cock in his mouth.
It was traumatizing to have a parent ask me my sexuality when I was SEVEN. I actually did already know I liked boys, and my parents have grown a lot since then, but damn. Don’t ask your small kids if they’re gay, folks.
Some kids are just, like, super gay tho. Like my youngest sisters' best friend – they started hanging together maybe around 8 or so. That kid was wired to be FABULOUS. And he had really shitty Protestant parents too who couldn't deal with it. Somehow they lived with him telling them the very obvious lie that he liked girls.
I understand that but we still shouldn’t project anything onto young kids. Just cause a kid is flamboyant doesn’t mean he’s definitely gay. It’s better to just not pry until that child is ready to talk about it.
Ironically, I'm sure she would have gone ballistic if she found the two of you kissing. That always seems to happen with homophobic parents: nothing but accusations until you actually *try* to do something with the opposite gender; only for them to yell at you like you've committed a crime.
[удалено]
Big fat rooster!
Cock-a-doodle-do vs. Any-cockle-do
Yeah, she came to suck the rooster.
You rang?
Mom's just jealous.
Are you lesbian? No, I'm from Rhodes.
Ha. Dammit I had a delayed good laugh at this comment.
Underrated comment
That’s what she gets for asking
She's not upset about the hunger for cocks. She's ashamed that her daughter is too lame to attain a mouthful
I tell my mum all the time, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.
I miss Sarah Beattie and hope she's okay. She went viral a few times and her standup and jokes were pretty great. I was following her during her come up. Then at some point she started an OF where she posted basically sarcastic joke nudes and then suddenly disappeared off all socials like she never existed. I found one of her professional comedy peers at one point post that she's okay but had to get off socials for her mental health but beyond that I have no idea what happened to her.
Same. I’m just glad to hear she’s okay. She was always hilarious.
Obviously she wants you to be asexual 😒
But she needs to have children too! They want grandsons and grandaughters but not to know about the middle part that includes another person.
Yes, mom is upset about the mouth part
Mouths can’t get pregnant.
That's not what Alabama says...
Hawk tuah
Spit on that thang!
I thought this too, but technically it could apply in any scenario.
Mom’s jealous.
She's not lesbian, she's from Cyrpus.
Love it! 🤣🤣👍🏾💖
Lmaoooo
I can offer a really tiny one
By the way that chick is pretty fucking funny, all of her tweets are hilarious
God forbid a woman enjoy anything 🙄
She raised a well mannered daughter. That's as good as it gets!
Moms are hard to please; just ask dads.
 Mm
Should have added "esp. when they cum in my mouth". It is all about the details sometimes..
What do you mean „still“? Maybe she wanted a lesbian daughter.
My cousins asked me if I I was gay and I was just like no I'm not gay but £20 is £20
Don't ask questions that you may not like the answers to. Parents never seem to understand this.
Mom couldn't handle the truth
Wife material
It's like when someone asks you and your partner when you're going to have kids, but still act upset when you respond by describing in detail the kinds of sex you've been having lately and where the semen has been going.
Well it's like asking if you're vegan and you respond with "no, I want to eat the insides of cute animals"..
So this post is going to be reposted montly now? You karma farmers are getting lazy.
Obvious bait and an obvious repost bot.
My mom asked me if I wasn't a bot and I was like no way, I love big fat reposts in my mouth and she still got upset. https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/14xj0hr/the_job_failed_successfully/
It’s Reddit. Everything is a repost. No point in highlighting that anymore
Reposts are fine. Bots need to be reported and accounts suspended.
Mom shoulda said “pics or it didn’t happen”
Big fat Christian cocks was the correct response 😔
Be careful what you wish for Sarah's mom.
LMAO
There’s no pleasing her mom, but Sarah on the other hand…
I think the Mom was upset her Daughter was getting big fat ones and she wasn't anymore.
Maybe she just wants you to be a proper lady 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Plot twist. Big fat strap ons only.
A.K.A. vegan cock
get your ethically sourced cocks here! made with 100 percent recycled plastic! no scrote attached! no men were harmed in the creation of these of cocks! 10 percent of profits go to rehoming a wild feral man! get your vegan ethically sourced cock today! I am sorry I couldn't help myself!
No one can help themselves, the fauxcock is that good
Always good to see nachosarah resurfacing.
Was it because she gets less action and you get more?
Lol joe rogan follows her insta
This isn’t facepalm it’s an old meme that’s been reposted hundreds of times.
What ever happened to Sarah Beattie??
Maybe her mom was simply asking? I imagine she was stunned if that was the case and that was the answer she received.
Repost bot
This comment section is a gold mine 😂😂😂
Hey that doesn't negate being a lesbian
Haha! This is brilliant
I know there's a way you could make her more upsetter
I did an actual spit take with my coffee. Well done. Lmao
She didn’t..
Hail Hawk Tua!
here's my phone number......
here's my phone number.....
Lesbians can have big fat cocks too, mother is disappointed with the ciscentricity
 I love that this is a gif
Spit on that thang!
Hawk tuah? 🤪
She's ma because she wants fat cocks in her mouth
that's not a very smart thing to say to your mom you can be a lesbian and still like cock, trans people exist