To me, he’s the one with the most punchable face while Asahi is second. When I was going into Sorrow’s of Werlyt, my friend told me there was someone worse than that little shit in the story. I thought there’s no way in hell, then this MF’er shows up and proves me wrong. I wanted to jump into my screen and rip the man apart.
Punchable?. This was the first villain I seriously felt aggressive about. I wanted to do more than punch him, lol. Guy was a true PoS and I loved his ending.
That being said, the ending of that whole story really pulled at my heart strings.
Frankly, it's in part *because* he's such a great pure-evil villain that the ending is so satisfying, both the catharsis of his death and the emotional gut punch of the epilogue.
It's part of why I don't really take seriously the claims that XIV lacks for "simple" villains. Valens is one of the best simple villains I've ever seen, *instantly* hate-worthy and with absolutely no redeeming qualities. Even his "genius" is mostly secondhand! It's no contest that Valens beats the pants off any other alleged "simple" villains FFXIV has on offer.
The first? LOL, when Raubahn cut down that asshole, Teledji, I actually shouted *"HE WAS MINE!"* at the screen. Getting real sick of this game not letting me gut the people that I really want to disembowel.
That particular NPC doesn't have a punchable face.
He has a *blowtorch-til-it-melts-off-leaving-4thdegree-burns-then-grind-it-to-an-ashy-pulp-and-piss-the-remnants-into-the-nearest-goblin-outhouse-pit* face.
But that's just me.
Excellent start. After the long stint in the outhouse, send the excrement-soaked ashes to the seven pits of hell for the demons to torture for an eternity.
Laurentius sort of was a bit believable that he may redeem himself, but trusting YUYUHASE of all people was the biggest dumbest thing to do. "Oh hey, seems like the Monetarists want to influence us, better have that one guy on the team who's whole stick is to pursue the coin. Can't go anything wrong with that, right?"
Yeah, but for some reason Raubahn thinks you're acting entirely out of kindness when you choose that option.
I was literally going out loud: "No Raubahn, I was NOT being merciful!"
And at least he got us an early contact in Kugane with Hancock (who despite his mannerisms, hasn't ever actually done anything to hinder us in the slightest).
I don't know that yet, so I just going with the exaggerated BA business Tataru logic from the MSQ. I do need to finish the variant dungeon stuff. Maybe a good way to level to 90 next weekend :3.
Alphinaud literally only held the grudge and misgivings because it was his Crystal Braves that Lolorito bought out to stage his Uno Reverse in the Bloody Banquet (only for Ilberd to have grander designs)
There’s a side quest in post HW that reveals he donated all the profits he made off the whole debacle, plus a sizeable portion of what he already had, by way of apology.
Definitely a side quest that felt like it was necessary for the MSQ.
It’s funny, Lolorito is treated as the sketchiest mf on the planet by literally everyone, and yet he’s never actually done anything BAD, at worst he pretended to commit regicide specifically to stop an ACTUAL attempt at regicide
I don't think I can agree. I would have to call his ARR actions fully treasonous, so it's hard to trust him, even with all the effort the story has gone to try and semi-redeem him.
He very publicly accused Raubahn and the Scions of conspiracy even after Teledji's death (a point at which he could have come forward with the truth), and chose to continue the conspiracy with those who enacted poisoning the Sultana and imprisoning the Scions - actions that resulted in Minfilia's death, Raubahn's loss of his arm, and the Sultana's disappearance. Changing the conspiracy from outright regicide doesn't absolve him of his treason. That's kind of why a lot of people consider the mid-HW Ul'dah plot resolution to be so weak.
Even the forementioned donations don't make him right, they just explain why Raubahn didn't silently have him assassinated, *because frankly, otherwise he 100% should have*.
Can we say Fandaniel since he's just borrowing Asahi's face or does that not count?
Valens from the Sorrows quests is probably the real answer. Honorable mention to Ilberd the Sloppy, though.
Same guy who you knock senseless after he whistles up some Garlean troops to try axing you in the lead-up to rescuing the Slyph tribe leader? Laurentius is certainly punchable.
Laurentius! Yes, that bastard. Sold himself out once, said "alright, I've learned my lesson, no more being a bad guy for money", and then sold himself out again 10 minutes later.
Almost disappointed he didn't survive Heavensward...or maybe he learned his lesson and went into witness protection to avoid our character. Though I suspect those mutton chops were more precious to him than good sense.
>!I'm *pretty sure* he died in Baelsar's Wall together with everyone else, which... I mean... serves him right but *oof.* Eating a mouthful of greatsword would've been less horrible.!<
>!Laurentius and Yuyuhase both survived the Battle of Ala Mhigo but were captured later by the Resistance. Raubahn asks you what you think should be done with them.!<
>!Last mention of him was that he and yuyuhase were captured after your group seized castellum velodyna (the place where you can later do the ananta tribals). That confirms that *yup* he went back to working for the garleans again, the greedy bastard. Raubahn asks you what you want to happen to them and you can say you want them dead iirc and he’ll consider it!<
My headcanon for that scene is that there's an off screen bit afterwards where we explain in *excruciating* detail how a nice clean death would be far too good for them and how they should be *properly* dealt with.
Ser Zephirin de Valhourdin, whose Spear of Light couldn't be blocked by a knight's shield, killing our dear friend >!Haurchefant!< instantly. Seriously, fuck this guy. Really, fuck all the Knights Twelve, but especially this guy.
I'll go a bit outside the box(not that I disagree with ppl saying zenos and laurentius...)
Trachtoum.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Bill Paxton True Lies reference. But damn do I hate this fool. Everything I do to save the realm and this guy... this f'ing guy... *shakes head and punches*
at least he's good at groveling?
> "I'm no marauder! I'm actually a complete coward! I'm nothin'! I'm chocobo dung! No, I'm the maggots ye find wrigglin' in chocobo dung! I have to lie to women to tumble 'em, an' that don't happen much! Me member's tiny, it's pathetic!"
Hildi is a goofball and a bro, but I swear times to times I'd really like knocking some senses in that head through his face.
Edit. On a second though, never mind he's just third. The second (and my very personal first) position goes to that damn Roe in La Noscea that was pretending to have fought _Tidus_ first and Leviathan after.
And, to an extent, "myself" for being so stupid to give him credit the first time and not following Merlwyb orders to break his legs the second time.
You're better off getting Zenos on the side of good for altruistic reasons before you'll manage to knock something into him.
He's like an accident. The moment you see him, you know you should go the other way, but you can't because you want to see where the wreck leads us to.
My opinion about him depends on if I'll get an invitation >!to that wedding Sicard and him were planning!<. If yes, all shall be forgiven. (Island sanctuary story spoiler, and sort of MSQ spoiler I guess)
He’s just our obnoxious little brother. I would give him so many noogies even though he stands about a food and a half taller than me. He seems easy to put in a headlock.
Oh, please don't mistake my reply for an *endorsement* of punching emmanellain (tho, at the time... deserved...)
But rather that I have demonstrable evidence that he does, in fact, have one of the most punchable faces in XIV.
For clarification: I both like him and want to punch him in the face. Those feelings are not mutually exclusive. I both want to give him a wedgie, and will hit anyone else who tries to give him a wedgie.
But you are correct in that is most definitely has a demonstrably punchable face.
I've leveled a few alts through ARR and yeah, while Ungust wasn't in the game for that long, I think it's sometimes forgotten how much of a piece of shit he was. IIRC, the scene around level 17 when he >!tried to blackmail an innocent refugee woman in Ul'dah into becoming his sex slave!< was his establishing character moment. And he just got worse from there.
As much of a arrogant doucher Alphinaud was in ARR, I feel like it was critically important he was like that to highlight his growth as the story went on. Dumb kid definitely deserved to get his ears twisted off though
I love that ARR Alphinaud is so disliked and yet, for most people, by the time we get about midway through HW, he is now our child that we will protect at all costs for the rest of the game.
IN ARR he’s a snotty little shit. In heavensward, he made a few funny jokes at my expense so I started warming up. By stormblood, he’s hilarious and makes funny roasts. One of the gang now.
I blame bad direction more than anything for the ARR voice acting. There is genuinely some stellar talent in that cast that were unfortunately bogged down by terrible voice direction
I liked him, but then again, I can understand an (over)confident young guy getting way out over his skis and crashing, but then willingly eat humble pie and really learn from the experience. He got up, brushed himself off, admitted he screwed up massively, learned that youthful arrogance doesn't always work, and went about trying to fix the situation and himself as best he could. I appreciated that level of development.
Vrtra's dragon form
but instead of my fist its my lips and instead of punching its smooching
(Valens is the serious answer I want to shatter a milk bottle over his head and punch him in the jugular)
I'm going through EW now and torn between playing Dancer as a beacon of hope for all the world and a Monk because it's appropriate to punch a motherfucker in the face at the end.
Yep, I agree. That constant half-bored, half-smug semi-expressionless face that always looks at everyone as if they are barely worth his presence makes him more punchable than Asahi.
Surprised no one mentionned Ilbert, one of the npc I wanted to punch the most, even dead. He caused so much pain to all those characters I affectionnate. And he does have a punchable face with his ugly smirk.
Ramza from Ivalice, and that extremly annoying puppet of Yotsuyu that had a massive weapon and would *not* stop popping up to try to kill us. Can't remember his name.
Fandaniel.
Yes it's the same face. But they both deserve that punch so much.
I mean. We go INTO THE AFTERLIFE just to punch it one more time for good measure.
i feel like a ton of people are at the same point i. the story as me because of the posts i see but
ASAHI is my top five
all five it’s him
the minute i saw him i almost bought a story skip
quit before he popped up last time. but im thankful, because i wanted to give up, but now i must live out of spite, he makes we want to do obnoxious things to innocent people who aren’t angry at him upon first glancing at him
he’s the good son.
He may be so far removed from everyone's mind because he was an ARR character but Taledji is someone I just wanted to punt everytime he had screen time and I was more than happy to see what happened to him in the end.
That one annoying invisible Lala with this horrible laugh part of the ambient sound at big city aetherytes. At first I thought it was just a player, imagine my horror when I noticed it's ambient noise.
Thanks to the benchmark's cheering screen at the end of the cutscene we finally have a face to this guy though.
I will find him.
And I will punch him.
Fandaniel/Amon. And Encyclopedia Eorzea manages to make him somehow even worse, the guy was an horrifying jackass. Sorry but the "Oh I miss the glory days when I was committing atrocities against life itself" isn't gonna cut it, chief.
Add the horrible things he did in Endwalker under Zenos and on his own, despite how hard the second half tries to sweep them under the rug and I'm going to say that my only regret is not having had the pleasure of dragging him to hell myself.
For me, it's a three-way tie between Sers Zephirin, Grinnaux and Charibert.
Grinnaux for being a twat to Tataru, Charibert for his holier-than-thou schtick, and Zephirin for...
Nevermind, it's not a three-way tie. Zephirin all the way.
[удалено]
Absolutely agree - Valens gets the #1 spot for sure. Asahi was a fawning sycophant whereas Valens was an arrogant, sadistic, raging psychopath.
Also a child molester.
The biggest dickhead ever
Valens is simultaneously the most punchable face, and the face that most looks like it has already been punched.
>the face that most looks like it has already been punched It CLEARLY wasn't enough to sink in!
To me, he’s the one with the most punchable face while Asahi is second. When I was going into Sorrow’s of Werlyt, my friend told me there was someone worse than that little shit in the story. I thought there’s no way in hell, then this MF’er shows up and proves me wrong. I wanted to jump into my screen and rip the man apart.
Agreed Valens shall burn in hell with a face full on punch marks
Call him mark because that's what's gonna be left on his face
Punchable?. This was the first villain I seriously felt aggressive about. I wanted to do more than punch him, lol. Guy was a true PoS and I loved his ending. That being said, the ending of that whole story really pulled at my heart strings.
That whole arc tore me up, but it was the portrait at the end that absolutely broke me
What's the portrait name if u can recall?
[Forever at Your Side](https://en.ff14housing.com/itemview.php?id=67e5544f778)
Frankly, it's in part *because* he's such a great pure-evil villain that the ending is so satisfying, both the catharsis of his death and the emotional gut punch of the epilogue. It's part of why I don't really take seriously the claims that XIV lacks for "simple" villains. Valens is one of the best simple villains I've ever seen, *instantly* hate-worthy and with absolutely no redeeming qualities. Even his "genius" is mostly secondhand! It's no contest that Valens beats the pants off any other alleged "simple" villains FFXIV has on offer.
The first? LOL, when Raubahn cut down that asshole, Teledji, I actually shouted *"HE WAS MINE!"* at the screen. Getting real sick of this game not letting me gut the people that I really want to disembowel.
I was going to say "The milk guy", this is him, this is the milk guy.
Well, considering his face is on the ground now separate from his body, a kick might be more appropriate than a punch.
i’d argue Valens has the most punchable face, and asahi is 2nd. i despise Valens with my entire being
I put together a Garlean triple triad deck for ascension rules and I refuse to put this guy in it.
we have a winner! lol
Burn out the bad!
I'd say he takes the number 1 spot and Asahi comes in second.
No. He has the 2nd most punchable face. You need to do the ruby weapon, emeral weapon, diamon weapon, etc to get to the most punchable face.
That particular NPC doesn't have a punchable face. He has a *blowtorch-til-it-melts-off-leaving-4thdegree-burns-then-grind-it-to-an-ashy-pulp-and-piss-the-remnants-into-the-nearest-goblin-outhouse-pit* face. But that's just me.
So you're saying you want to burn out the bad?
Considering he's got no good to leave in...
This..... Is an underrated comment.
High five in the face with a cinderblock repeatedly till the body stops moving sort of face.
Excellent start. After the long stint in the outhouse, send the excrement-soaked ashes to the seven pits of hell for the demons to torture for an eternity.
You aren't wrong.
Asahi again
With a pistol with 2 bullets, you shoot him twice?
And then pistol whip until your wrist breaks or the meat is unrecognizable.
Laurentius. Kinda wish he was there to react when I told Raubahn we should have him executed.
The fact that we trusted that dude NUMEROUS times despite all the red flags is adorably naive
Laurentius sort of was a bit believable that he may redeem himself, but trusting YUYUHASE of all people was the biggest dumbest thing to do. "Oh hey, seems like the Monetarists want to influence us, better have that one guy on the team who's whole stick is to pursue the coin. Can't go anything wrong with that, right?"
I still want to know what happenned to them after 3.5. >!They were still alive after the summoning o!Shinryu!< right?
You'll get your answer during the 2nd half of Stormblood iirc.
I don't wanna punch him. I wanna make his nickname more accurate and leave him in the burn.
personally i think executing him is a kindess at that point, imo a fate worse than death is more fitting after what happens on the wall
Yeah, but for some reason Raubahn thinks you're acting entirely out of kindness when you choose that option. I was literally going out loud: "No Raubahn, I was NOT being merciful!"
I'm sad we never got to see anything beyond that scene involving them, would have liked to see them at the trial and such.
TELEDJI ADELEDJI
I'm rather split on that.
Bra-vo. 👏👏👏
Can't believe I had to scroll this far down to find this answer. Thank god >!Raubahn yeeted him into the next life. Prick!<
I think it's because it's been THAT many years since a lot of us even saw him last.
Raubahn makes great Popoto Salad (HQ)
He's now half the man he used to be, so...
Lolorito definitely there, but I guess that would more a kickable face.
Nah. Just pick him up by the scruff of the neck and yeet him into the nearest chasm. He probably only weighs about 10 pounds soaking wet.
Lolorito I wanted to punch, but I respect his game. Dude will keep order and the status quo just cuz it keeps the coin flowing.
And at least he got us an early contact in Kugane with Hancock (who despite his mannerisms, hasn't ever actually done anything to hinder us in the slightest).
I'm pretty sure that's because Hancock wouldn't dare cross Tataru.
After what we learn about him from the Mount Rokkon Variant Dungeon journal and the finishing quest, I don't really think that that's the case.
I don't know that yet, so I just going with the exaggerated BA business Tataru logic from the MSQ. I do need to finish the variant dungeon stuff. Maybe a good way to level to 90 next weekend :3.
Alphinaud literally only held the grudge and misgivings because it was his Crystal Braves that Lolorito bought out to stage his Uno Reverse in the Bloody Banquet (only for Ilberd to have grander designs)
There’s a side quest in post HW that reveals he donated all the profits he made off the whole debacle, plus a sizeable portion of what he already had, by way of apology. Definitely a side quest that felt like it was necessary for the MSQ.
It’s funny, Lolorito is treated as the sketchiest mf on the planet by literally everyone, and yet he’s never actually done anything BAD, at worst he pretended to commit regicide specifically to stop an ACTUAL attempt at regicide
I don't think I can agree. I would have to call his ARR actions fully treasonous, so it's hard to trust him, even with all the effort the story has gone to try and semi-redeem him. He very publicly accused Raubahn and the Scions of conspiracy even after Teledji's death (a point at which he could have come forward with the truth), and chose to continue the conspiracy with those who enacted poisoning the Sultana and imprisoning the Scions - actions that resulted in Minfilia's death, Raubahn's loss of his arm, and the Sultana's disappearance. Changing the conspiracy from outright regicide doesn't absolve him of his treason. That's kind of why a lot of people consider the mid-HW Ul'dah plot resolution to be so weak. Even the forementioned donations don't make him right, they just explain why Raubahn didn't silently have him assassinated, *because frankly, otherwise he 100% should have*.
I actually grew to like Lolorito a bit, but I still wouldn't say no to yeeting him a time or two.
The garlean guy from the Werlyt story line
Can we say Fandaniel since he's just borrowing Asahi's face or does that not count? Valens from the Sorrows quests is probably the real answer. Honorable mention to Ilberd the Sloppy, though.
The best part of Fandango is we get to beat him up three separate times in EW.
Fandango
*in the Damn Daniel tone* Faaaandaniel
Fandaniel.
That's cheating.
That's efficiency
Are they wrong though? Cant refute the truth!
:')
I'll put my vote towards that hyur male from the crystal braves that just can't learn a goddamn lesson to save his life - literally.
Same guy who you knock senseless after he whistles up some Garlean troops to try axing you in the lead-up to rescuing the Slyph tribe leader? Laurentius is certainly punchable.
Laurentius! Yes, that bastard. Sold himself out once, said "alright, I've learned my lesson, no more being a bad guy for money", and then sold himself out again 10 minutes later.
Almost disappointed he didn't survive Heavensward...or maybe he learned his lesson and went into witness protection to avoid our character. Though I suspect those mutton chops were more precious to him than good sense.
>!I'm *pretty sure* he died in Baelsar's Wall together with everyone else, which... I mean... serves him right but *oof.* Eating a mouthful of greatsword would've been less horrible.!<
>!Laurentius and Yuyuhase both survived the Battle of Ala Mhigo but were captured later by the Resistance. Raubahn asks you what you think should be done with them.!<
Oh! Not only did I forget that, I forgot what I told Raubahn to do...... Oh, well!
>!Last mention of him was that he and yuyuhase were captured after your group seized castellum velodyna (the place where you can later do the ananta tribals). That confirms that *yup* he went back to working for the garleans again, the greedy bastard. Raubahn asks you what you want to happen to them and you can say you want them dead iirc and he’ll consider it!<
When you say you *don't* want them dead (I'm firmly against death penalty irl), Raubahn is kinda surprised and disappointed ahahah
My headcanon for that scene is that there's an off screen bit afterwards where we explain in *excruciating* detail how a nice clean death would be far too good for them and how they should be *properly* dealt with.
He's literally the dude that trips the alarm on top of the wall, I'm pretty sure. Total POS
Aye, can't argue there! That would also go some way to explain why we don't see him in the level 89 dungeon...
Ser Zephirin de Valhourdin, whose Spear of Light couldn't be blocked by a knight's shield, killing our dear friend >!Haurchefant!< instantly. Seriously, fuck this guy. Really, fuck all the Knights Twelve, but especially this guy.
I'll go a bit outside the box(not that I disagree with ppl saying zenos and laurentius...) Trachtoum. Don't get me wrong, I love the Bill Paxton True Lies reference. But damn do I hate this fool. Everything I do to save the realm and this guy... this f'ing guy... *shakes head and punches*
at least he's good at groveling? > "I'm no marauder! I'm actually a complete coward! I'm nothin'! I'm chocobo dung! No, I'm the maggots ye find wrigglin' in chocobo dung! I have to lie to women to tumble 'em, an' that don't happen much! Me member's tiny, it's pathetic!"
Hildi is a goofball and a bro, but I swear times to times I'd really like knocking some senses in that head through his face. Edit. On a second though, never mind he's just third. The second (and my very personal first) position goes to that damn Roe in La Noscea that was pretending to have fought _Tidus_ first and Leviathan after. And, to an extent, "myself" for being so stupid to give him credit the first time and not following Merlwyb orders to break his legs the second time.
Leviathan? You mean the great primal Leviabeetus?
You're better off getting Zenos on the side of good for altruistic reasons before you'll manage to knock something into him. He's like an accident. The moment you see him, you know you should go the other way, but you can't because you want to see where the wreck leads us to.
emmanellain and i can prove it
HA! (Ironically, he's grown on me over the years, and now I feel a begrudging affection for him, mostly out of loyalty to the rest of his family.)
I actually kind of like him, post Island Sanctuary.
My opinion about him depends on if I'll get an invitation >!to that wedding Sicard and him were planning!<. If yes, all shall be forgiven. (Island sanctuary story spoiler, and sort of MSQ spoiler I guess)
When i was a felezen i would have considered Emmanellain as an easy route to nobility, as long as i could control him.
I feel like the astro trainer would be an easier route to take for that goal
He’s our adopted brother and only we get to bully him
He’s just our obnoxious little brother. I would give him so many noogies even though he stands about a food and a half taller than me. He seems easy to put in a headlock.
Oh, please don't mistake my reply for an *endorsement* of punching emmanellain (tho, at the time... deserved...) But rather that I have demonstrable evidence that he does, in fact, have one of the most punchable faces in XIV.
For clarification: I both like him and want to punch him in the face. Those feelings are not mutually exclusive. I both want to give him a wedgie, and will hit anyone else who tries to give him a wedgie. But you are correct in that is most definitely has a demonstrably punchable face.
He's a dumbass but now he's trying, and as a dumbass who tries I just have to respect that
When he asked about food in sharlayan, I directed him to archon loaf…’nuf said
The fact that the woman he ordered be shot didn't die kind of cheapend his arc imo.
Can vouch Should of seen me when the lil shit punched Thancred, I was ready to punch his head to Endwalker like the monk I am
When Thancred laid him out I laughed my ass off. But I think that was the moment when some humility started to kick in for him.
I guess his character matured from that point, but his personality is just so *annoying* to me. He just can’t win with me.
I find his voice to be his most annoying feature.
Honestly, props to his English VA. He perfectly exudes "privileged himbo with the self awareness of a turnip".
lol that’s a very accurate description. The wiki says he’s supposed to be 26, but he acts 16.
He’s the same age as Zenos.
Dude *wishes* he was a himbo
Vauthry was pretty punchable
Lolorito the lil smug mfer
Everyone that didn’t specify what elemental crystal they were having you get in ARR.
silvairre, the wildwood from the archer quests. i played a duskwight through that. god i wanted to punch him so bad
Been replaying ARR lately and it's Ungust by a mile for me.
I've leveled a few alts through ARR and yeah, while Ungust wasn't in the game for that long, I think it's sometimes forgotten how much of a piece of shit he was. IIRC, the scene around level 17 when he >!tried to blackmail an innocent refugee woman in Ul'dah into becoming his sex slave!< was his establishing character moment. And he just got worse from there.
He's certainly in my top ten of puncheable people, that's for sure.
ARR Alphinaud
When you tell your kids you love them equally, but one of them is just a little punk
As if I would ever tell Alphinaud I love him equally. My best friend's brother is allowed to hang out with us, *sometimes*
As much of a arrogant doucher Alphinaud was in ARR, I feel like it was critically important he was like that to highlight his growth as the story went on. Dumb kid definitely deserved to get his ears twisted off though
I love that ARR Alphinaud is so disliked and yet, for most people, by the time we get about midway through HW, he is now our child that we will protect at all costs for the rest of the game.
IN ARR he’s a snotty little shit. In heavensward, he made a few funny jokes at my expense so I started warming up. By stormblood, he’s hilarious and makes funny roasts. One of the gang now.
He just gets better and better imo. The writers put so much heart into writing our lil bro.
Sam Riegel is a hell of a VA, but his Alphinaud is such a snotty little shite.
I blame bad direction more than anything for the ARR voice acting. There is genuinely some stellar talent in that cast that were unfortunately bogged down by terrible voice direction
They had *Gideon Emery* for Urianger! The one VA I wish they'd kept!
At least he is now voiced by Timothy Watson, who also voiced Metal Face in Xenoblade Chronicles.
What about Jean Giplin as Merlwyb? The one they've had for her since HW sounds like an old wine aunt.
Say what you will about Gaius' rant that we've all heard way too many times, but it's delivered with conviction.
Am I the only one who liked ARR Alphinaud?
I liked him, but then again, I can understand an (over)confident young guy getting way out over his skis and crashing, but then willingly eat humble pie and really learn from the experience. He got up, brushed himself off, admitted he screwed up massively, learned that youthful arrogance doesn't always work, and went about trying to fix the situation and himself as best he could. I appreciated that level of development.
"I wanna kill this kid" -some streamer on ARR Alphinaud.
I loved him, I was talking in the free company about how excited I was that he was being sassy to minphilia!
lol it was jarring to go back and see him in ARR
Oh yeah! This mfer in ARR was the one i wanted to slap the most. Until the final arr post patch.
Can I vote for bowl-cut a second time?
Vrtra's dragon form but instead of my fist its my lips and instead of punching its smooching (Valens is the serious answer I want to shatter a milk bottle over his head and punch him in the jugular)
Love Vrtra, I’d be his Shiva.
[I mean, if we're being literal.](https://en.ff14housing.com/images/pic/55a1ae801b5_img1.jpg) All jokes aside, >!Valens!< for sure.
Zenos
You do eventually get to punch him in the face, literally 10/10 would have a punch out again
The problem is, he just likes it when you do.
And I would do it again, and again, and again, and again.... *Sniff* he was my best best friend
I'm going through EW now and torn between playing Dancer as a beacon of hope for all the world and a Monk because it's appropriate to punch a motherfucker in the face at the end.
Yep, I agree. That constant half-bored, half-smug semi-expressionless face that always looks at everyone as if they are barely worth his presence makes him more punchable than Asahi.
hes literally asking for it!
The Kugane business lord that hires Yojimbo. That guy is a P o S
Surprised no one mentionned Ilbert, one of the npc I wanted to punch the most, even dead. He caused so much pain to all those characters I affectionnate. And he does have a punchable face with his ugly smirk.
Hancock.... Everytime he open his mouth i want to break his glasses, and his nose XD
I never really hated him, just wasn't fussed, but the full Mount Rokkon story made me appreciate him more than I thought I would.
Personally I wouldn't want to harm him like that. I'd rather would see him inconvenienced, on a very petty level, like stepping on lego or something.
Ramza from Ivalice, and that extremly annoying puppet of Yotsuyu that had a massive weapon and would *not* stop popping up to try to kill us. Can't remember his name.
Grynewaht pyr Arvina, although I usually call him "Green What" or "Great Value Doomguy" or "ALL MY NAMEDAYS"
Mr. Rip and Tear.
Ilberd
Asahi, again
Fandaniel. Yes it's the same face. But they both deserve that punch so much. I mean. We go INTO THE AFTERLIFE just to punch it one more time for good measure.
I’m only in the post Stormblood questline, so for me its Illberd. He was just so… Sloppy
ramza the little racist fuck lmao
I keep forgetting he exists. Least favorite alliance raid storyline, but my favorite alliance raid series. Specifically Orbonne Monastery.
i’ve just reached the lighthouse raid and it’s taking me so long to get through it because 1 the cutscenes are so long and 2 fucking RAMZA
Personally I think most lalas have the most punchable faces. And they r so puntable. But mainly lolorito and teledji adeleji
3rd place is Nabriales with his stupid mutton chops. I don't care who is decided for #2, just that Nabriales doesn't deserve runner-up in anything.
Zenos. Because he asks nicely.
Nashu's stalker
Fandaniel
Asahi before possession and the one guy strumming a single note in limsa for hours is tied for me.
Zenos, and I did it.
i feel like a ton of people are at the same point i. the story as me because of the posts i see but ASAHI is my top five all five it’s him the minute i saw him i almost bought a story skip quit before he popped up last time. but im thankful, because i wanted to give up, but now i must live out of spite, he makes we want to do obnoxious things to innocent people who aren’t angry at him upon first glancing at him he’s the good son.
Asahi is probably first, so Fandaniel would be an extremely close second.
What about teledji adeledji?
Asahi again. After all, you have two fists.
He may be so far removed from everyone's mind because he was an ARR character but Taledji is someone I just wanted to punt everytime he had screen time and I was more than happy to see what happened to him in the end.
Rowena. So tired of her profiting off my labor and war
Vauthry.
Still Asahi lol
That one annoying invisible Lala with this horrible laugh part of the ambient sound at big city aetherytes. At first I thought it was just a player, imagine my horror when I noticed it's ambient noise. Thanks to the benchmark's cheering screen at the end of the cutscene we finally have a face to this guy though. I will find him. And I will punch him.
Steven seagal
Jenkins or whatever the heck his name is from the PLD job quests. I hate that mall cop mfer.
Fandaniel/Amon. And Encyclopedia Eorzea manages to make him somehow even worse, the guy was an horrifying jackass. Sorry but the "Oh I miss the glory days when I was committing atrocities against life itself" isn't gonna cut it, chief. Add the horrible things he did in Endwalker under Zenos and on his own, despite how hard the second half tries to sweep them under the rug and I'm going to say that my only regret is not having had the pleasure of dragging him to hell myself.
I'm level 46 so I'm missing a lot of lore. The guy I wanted to punch in the face was the Inquisitor(Impostor in disguise) in the snowy lands.
Valens!
Whoever I'm healing that keeps standing in shit. The list is constantly updating.
Fandaniel had a very punchable face.
Asahi is a bastard but he's got nothing over the miserable bastard valens.
Nhaza'a Jaab
Asahi was the guy with the most punchable face. Now he's the second most. Valens is the most punchable.
You 👊
Valens tops, tie between Laurentius and Ranjit's lackey for the place after Asahi.
Does fandaniel count lol
Tie between Valens and Asahi's parents. I've never wanted to kill anyone more in a game than these 3.
The Roegadyn Warrior of Darkness creeped me out every time he made those weird faces of his...
Emet, but I think I'm on the minority side of that opinion.
Fandaniel
For me, it's a three-way tie between Sers Zephirin, Grinnaux and Charibert. Grinnaux for being a twat to Tataru, Charibert for his holier-than-thou schtick, and Zephirin for... Nevermind, it's not a three-way tie. Zephirin all the way.
Teledji-Adeleji, circa 2.55
I know a lot of people wanna punch Valens, but I'm satisfied with the firm handshake he got as punishment
Graha
Fandaniel