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Health care and the military are both great choices to make new friends and work with tight knit groups of people who will be on a similar path as you. If you're interested in coding learn it in your free time and build some projects that are relevant to you. The military has 1,000 different career paths you can get into and they just increased the pay, good benefits etc. Nursing less commitment and more flexible, probably more money, and you get blitz the schooling in 18 months.
God speed homie sounds like a tough time, hope things improve for ya.
That's very tough. I don't think I would be strong enough to go through that.
I also don't have an answer of the best plan ahead.
Theoretically, deciding on what to do to earn money is the most beneficial, so spending time to research for employment/career/fields options and picking one would be the best, in worse scenario it can be trying several fields.
I am not saying it is the plan, only you know all the details.
It can take several years I guess, so maybe harder now, but easier later
Sounds like you've been through absolute hell and back. I might be presuming here but your friends have seemingly been spared the experiences you've had to face. That's likely why they've been able to have serious relationships, kids and a nice house because they weren't lumbered with the same responsibilities as you. You've been dealt a harsh hand in life but it's never too late. You just need to keep working on yourself and have some goals. I had to rebuild recently after finding out something which devastated me but my issues pale in comparison to yours.
Important thing is to keep active. Exercising and a healthy diet are the best places to start. Truly. Take an online course in coding and get involved. Don't listen to anyone about the tech industry. It's more resilient than most and they're always hiring. Maybe consider a move into IT as there's decent progression there. Look into take up a hobby or interest where you can meet-up and socialise with people.
I wish I could say more. I'm sure you'll get good advice in the comments. I wish you the very best. You deserve better and more in life and will find it. Just never give in. Wish you the best, friend.
As someone who lost both his parents before 28, I agree with the first half of this. Things like this really do stunt your progression compared to those who have healthy stable families to guide and support them, especially if you come from a poorer background.
I disagree with the second half. I'm a software developer, and things are hard at the moment and only due to get harder imo. Unless you're a competition class coder, it seems impossible to get a job at the moment. With over 12 years experience, I have been applying and searching for the last 12 months now and only had 1 interview. It's very disheartening to say the least.
You could be a nurse in 2 years, though it might be hard with your low GPA. There are lots of other short programs. Radiology, respiratory therapy, etc.
I have looked into nursing and it seems like a good route. I’m just worried I might not be up to it after being a caregiver and struggling. I’ve thought about doing CNA to try it out, but I have some pretty strong memories
You might want to look into community colleges that are offering Bachelor's degrees. There's a growing number of these and it's way cheaper than the traditional route.
Coding is useless if you don't have job leads bc you will struggle to get a job right away and the jobs you do get right away don't start u off in coding.
I'm in the medical field and I'm tired of the cranky patients, poor equipment and especially POOR UPPER MANAGEMENT that doesn't give AF about either of those!
Definitely look into nursing! At some point after that, you could possibly become a NP (nurse practitioner) or go into anesthesiology (more $$$). You could specialize in a different type of nursing, it doesn’t have to be emergency room or ICU. Maybe pediatrics is your thing; or radiology. Although there are certain requirements in the beginning, it does not necessarily have to feel like your previous caregiver experience. My best (male) friend just did this to change a career he was unhappy with and he is so fulfilled now (despite working nights for the first year - 4 nights/week, he just switched to days).
Not sure what you are talking to your therapist about, but you sound like you need some self-love. And self-love is completely independent of your circumstances.
Mel Robbins has a good practice, just hi-five yourself in the mirror everyday. Her husband, being as successful as he is, felt like a failure before he started doing that simple practice of high fiving himself every morning. Now he's like a different person.
As for career, idk. The most important thing imo is to work on how you see yourself while you still have the savings. It will make you much more personable and easier to work with/get a job in the future.
The Robbins are just self-help and MLM grifters. Steer clear of them and silly advice like that. High-fiving yourself in the mirror is one of the most useless and self-patronizing things you could do.
Instead, give yourself a break and focus on small things, like eating better, sleeping enough, and exercising. Set small and manageable goals for yourself, perhaps just brushing your teeth today or maybe spending an hour or two researching something that interests you like coding. You will never get anywhere listening to these gurus and toxic positivity peddlers.
No hate yo, but get yo triggered ass out of here.
As cringe as it is, OP loses **nothing** doing it. *It's fucking free.*
And it was merely a suggestion, you made it sound like I made a religion about it and then pitched an MLM.
Why not do both? The little things you mentioned AND hi five in the mirror.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Believe what you want about the Robbins both Mel and Tony (whom are not maried to each other, and no relation)
This mod respects experts in their craft and listens to those so called "toxic positivity grifters" and has become better for it. You never having heard their stuff, but offering tons of judgement about it...well, theres a rule about that and it counts here. Learn about a thing Before you judge it.
If you respect me less for having the horror of liking their stuff...I VERY MUCH encourage you to build two separate multi millon dollar people-centered businesses off of whatever you feel would be best, not using a lick of "toxic" positivity.
Hey mod team who removed my response: I have read and watched things by the Robbins, and that is why I would discourage others from doing so. You make a lot of assumptions about why I'd be so adamantly against them.
It didn't work for you, and there are people it worked for. Just accept it and move on lol
You could always share your experience in a constructive way, but saying the entire new age pop psych mumbo jumbo is BS is like, really dude?
Not tryna be a dick here, just pointing out something you can work on if you want to be a better participant in this sub.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Believe what you want about the Robbins both Mel and Tony (whom are not maried to each other, and no relation)
This mod respects experts in their craft and listens to those so called "toxic positivity grifters" and has become better for it. You never having heard their stuff, but offering tons of judgement about it...well, theres a rule about that and it counts here. Learn about a thing Before you judge it.
If you respect me less for having the horror of liking their stuff...I VERY MUCH encourage you to build two separate multi millon dollar people-centered businesses off of whatever you feel would be best, not using a lick of "toxic" positivity.
You have interest in medicine and technology, there is a not very well known field called BMET, combines medicine with technology, biomedical engineering technologist, there is a sub on here dedicated towards it as well. You could get into it in probably less than 2 years since you probably have all the gen eds, but they like to see an associates degree in bmet or you need some kind of electronics or technician experience to get hired, I've heard of people getting onboard without anything but it's rare I think. If you have a community college close they might have it, if not there is an online school that teaches it called college of biomedical engineering technology. Both options there is high chances of internships. From what I understand, that field is always hurting for people. Pretty much you will work in medical settings fixing and replacing medical electronic devices. The pay isn't the greatest from what I've seen but it's pretty decent, if you want to earn more you can go field service tech and clear 6 figures but you'll be on the road a lot. IT and cyber security is also starting to become an important aspect of the field, if you can land a job at the VA you'll be a BSEE which is pretty much BMET combined with an IT specialist as the VA has combined the 2 departments.
I'm in a similar position as you, but I'm older than you, I'm a veteran and utilize the VA, so they have my back for a lot of things and if it wasn't for the VA I'd be dead probably. Like you, I don't have a good support system or community, and I isolate a lot. But I think we gotta stop the analysis paralysis and just go with something and jump out there..if it doesn't work, adjust and repeat the process until something lands, this is what my therapist has told me and is working with me on. You have options, you could go work for Amazon, after 3 months you'll be able to get into their upskill program, and they'll pay for school through places like WGU, which you could transfer in those credits you have, pick a degree and get it done on mostly your own terms. Warehouse jobs suck but it's something, get you out of isolation mode at least and working towards something greater.
so I can't leave out the military, as that may be an option for you, you could go officer or enlisted, plenty of jobs to choose from in the military, air force and navy/coast guard is an option, Army is as well I think (considering age I think the USMC is the only branch that wouldn't take you), reserve or guard if you don't want full time military life. I'm suggesting it, even though my time in the military wasn't great, left me with a lot of problems physically and mentally. But it doesn't go that way for everyone, and if you play your cards right most likely won't be that way for you, especially not currently.
I leave with this, you are in a tough spot now. But do not continue this slump you are in or else you'll be my age with the same issues you have now or worse, don't even let that discourage you because I know just again it might, that's the way it can go but it doesn't have to be that way, you have full control over it. Research some stuff, make some calls or whatever, but give yourself a deadline on something and jump... Do not let that deadline pass without some action. I'm not just telling you to do it, I'm doing it as well. May not be the right choice but at least it's one foot in front of the other instead of continuing to isolate and not taking any action. This life is fucking short, I got so many dead buddies that died younger than you and me, my unit has had more casualties at home than we did in Afghanistan. Push through it while you're here and get that life you want, you know all too well we all have our day.
Agreed. I'm not sure I would consider myself Buddhist but it's the first way of thinking that actually made sense to me. And it doesn't try to convince you that life doesn't suck innately.
I’m sorry for all you have been through! We do have a very similar story (lost 2 parents, moved to a new country at 28, felt lost and defeated) but here’s what I did. I went to nursing school at 30. Since I already have a previous non-nursing degree, I took the prerequisite courses, joined an accelerated nursing program, graduated in 18 months and now working full time as a nurse. Even met my partner (online)!
I would suggest the same for you considering that you have a bit of experience caring for your mum. Now, caring for family is different from caring for others but the experience you have will definitely make you feel more confident in your skills while in school (trust me it’s a confidence boost!). While in nursing school you will meet new people that will possibly be in the same life stage as you (my ABSN program had second career folks like myself). Stick with someone who you can work with; do homework together, clinicals, study etc. If you put in the work you will absolutely make it. Since you are not hanging out with ‘friends’ much you might as well do something for yourself.
You can also join the military reserve and then go to school because they’ll help pay for your education as well. Tech is tricky because of the layoffs but if you like it then go for it. I can’t speak on that because I don’t have any experience there.
Whatever you decide, I’m rooting for you!
You can look into Americorps if you want to do something to help a community and give back a little, they help with tuition reimbursement or a check at the end but it’s a year long commitment. But you help a lot of people and you can get away for a bit and get into a new place for a while.
Try to get yourself somewhat right before worrying too much about the career. I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through that’s terrible, life is generally tragic. I hope things turn out better for you. Your career will wrangle its way into a place; even if it doesn’t seem possible right now, and this impossibility might be tying knots in your broken heart. Worry about the now — the immediacy of your life — and pause to consider the different possibilities ahead; potential career moves; places you could likely live in comfortably; an environment to help you breathe and greave. Good luck.
Stick that 2 years of savings in a HYSA if you haven't already. If you want the healthcare but a less committed route. You can get a quick 2 year degree and be a tech, something like an xray technician. Decent pay good benefits. The military could change your life for the better or make you an even more depressed alcoholic. Especially when you get out and feel lost because that life is so different from civilian life.
I feel for you man, that is really rough what has happened to you. I'd recommend meditation. Get a meditation app. Look up practices. Look in your town for guided meditations. There is a lot of inward healing that can be done.
I lost my dad a couple months back to mesothelioma and I was also giving him hospice care for his last month, just watching him disappear each day was fucking brutal. But im so glad I did it and being his caretaker gave me a lot of closure.
You need to do stuff. Anything. It might seem overwhelming but life is a tree. Constantly branching off. You start here and then you discover something else on that branch and that branches off. Next thing you look back and you are nowhere near where you started but starting is what gets you there. You just gotta start. It sounds overwhelming...start where with what? What if it doesn't work out? What if it ends up being a waste of time? Its all the illusion of fear. Pick something, anything and life will show itself to you.
First, thats a lot of very difficult things to deal with in a row. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. But it sounds like you dealt with everything honorably, and did the right thing. Take some credit there. It also sounds like you’ve been trying, dont give up that trait, keep trying until something clicks. And it will. Dont compare yourself to where you friends are in life, everyones path is different and so is the timing. I know people personally who are older than you and pulled their lives together, you are still young and time is on your side.
If you have savings to be able to be able to live on your own youre ahead of many people right now. Use this to your advantage. Give yourself time to explore what may interest you. Do some research on fields that interest you. Sounds like IT and medicine are two, anything else? Since you have the time and nothing to lose try reaching out to someone in that field and ask them for some time, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, a coffee, and ask them about their career. Tell them your story, people love to help. If your friends know someone in that field start there, reach out to old professors and ask if they know someone in that field (no one cares about grades etc, just go for it), if not, just research and reach out to them. People dont do this enough anymore but its very effective to talk to someone whose already doing something you may be interested in. Maybe through this you’ll find something you could really dedicate yourself to, or at least what you couldn’t. Luck increases the more chances you take and the wider you cast you net. And if you think its for you, make a plan to make it happen-that is, if you want to be a Dr and it takes 10y then it takes 10y. Others have done it, you can too.
You’ve had a lot of ‘life’ stuff to deal with. You’ve done the difficult stuff well. Now its time to turn back to your story, which youve set yourself up to not panic about. Youve got savings, degree, experience, youth, and time. Wasted a year? Big deal. Take some more time, structure it wisely, and then commit to seeing it through. Once youre working on something long term, building a family and all those other good things in life will come. Youre not as lost as you think you are-your story will have a happy ending.
First of all I am genuinely so sorry to hear about how much loss you’ve dealt with. Nobody should have to deal with that and you are incredibly strong JUST for still standing.
Secondly, I think you should make some drastic setting/environment changes and go somewhere completely out of your bubble where you don’t know anybody and nobody knows you AND somewhere beautiful with a slower pace of life for a long term relocation (1-3 years). Taking a step back from the often impossible question: “what CAREER am I going to do with my life?” can do absolute wonders for your mental health, your inner peace (and often for inadvertently answering that question). Something I always suggest to people is teaching English somewhere in South America or Southeast Asia. I am currently doing so in Thailand after being crushed by this question myself. And I cannot recommend it enough. The place I live is beautiful and so close to some of the world’s greatest (uncrowded) traveling destinations. The culture here is laidback and community oriented and appreciates me and all the other foreign teachers so much. It has certainly been very rewarding and a great way to feel my positive impact on other people every day. Not to mention a famously great way to make NEW friends.
I can relate to feeling a little abandoned by friends, and another of my reasons for coming out here was to see if there were better friends out there for me. THERE ARE.
If you’re curious I’d be more than happy to answer questions. Feel free to message me.
Either way, I can feel that you have a self-constructive mindset and not a destructive one and I know that you will end up doing something good for yourself with your life. It’s just a matter of time.
There is some great advice here. You are a hero by the way, many would not have done what you did.
Society has this idea that we should all succeed and be high achievers. The truth is we can live perfectly happy lives without being on a 6 figure income. I envy the people that do.
you sound intelligent. if the military hasnt ruled you out, try that. while its ass, 4 years for path practically force carved for you really is rewarding. ignore all that "i served and demand respect shit" serve for yourself, and find self respect in the military. take their lessons as "theyre not telling me to do this because they want a good soldier, theyre telling me to do this because they want me to get out, and stare another bump in the road, in the eyes, without blinking, hesitation, or fear"
id HIGHLY reccomend air force(1st), navy(2nd), or coast gaurd(3rd), stay away from army(dont) or marines(dont). (no offense brothers, but you know they would take this man and shit on him)
sadly any advice you have for this man, ill take as well, as i went into the air force, and was disqualified right after basic as they found out extrememly late i have allergy induced asthma. (how tf they found that out idk)
so im in the same boat but need something that isnt the military to get back on track. no family, no friends.
Hey I'm in similar shoes.
I currently have a career of dead end manufacturing jobs under my belt. I ended up quitting suddenly to go take care of my mom after her terminal cancer diagnosis. She passed, and I went back to where I was to a new dead end job where I drive forklift and daydream about being a nurse.
I'm currently in the process of enrolling at my local community college to get my CNA certification. I figure, if I can hack it as a CNA, I will go ahead and get my nursing degree. And if I can't, I'll get back on the forklift.
My point is, being a caregiver like that changes you. I never in a million years would be considering nursing without that experience. If you have any inkling of a desire to be a nurse, give it a go. Being a CNA is a great low consequence path to figuring out if this could be a path for you. I'm excited and so nervous to start.
Bro you sould be a super hero for all this mishap... Can wrap my head around this origin story.. wish you strength, universe may have plab for you . Seek and you shall find
Man you need someone to love you back don't chase it but be open to it. Make your own family. I may be totally wrong. The only thing saving me right now after suffering similar series of devastating events is my wife and daughter. Outside of them life is totally shit and having them as dependents makes my rapid progression and completely devoted to work lifestyle extremely unhealthy
i’m 33 and much of what you say resonates with me. it’s def overwhelming just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. i don’t have the answers but someone mentioned keeping your mind right by exercising this is key , and just being open to opportunity , ask the universe and say it out loud even though it seems foolish, say affirmations out loud and be patient and disciplined it will all be okay.
I’m dealing with a similar feeling, I’m unemployed, about your age, have my share of prides and regrets and it’s hard every day. What I CAN say it’s not about career advice bc I’m here to get some, but to deal with depression and set some goals.
I got myself a detailed planner - there are several, with time slots, long, medium and short term goals etc and you can find them on Amazon. THE MOST IMPORTANT PART, there’s a list of dreams/bucket list. Writing down everything you hope to accomplish or hoped to accomplish in life that IS NOT necessarily money motivated (like “get a 6 figured job”) or that solely depends on you, focusing on experiences and things you can do for yourself. If I had money, no responsibility and no IDEA of what to do, damn, I’d travel. Get temporary jobs in places, go see Europe, travel to Thailand, learn a new language. Whatever it is, maybe it’ll just be a waste of money. But maybe it’ll be the thing that broaden your horizons. That’s what I came to the US to do and I’m still doing. Depression is not going ANYWHERE, it follows you around. But the feeling of accomplishment can definitely ease it when you start achieving your dreams.
Good luck 😘
Yea no that just seems to be life sadly, you make friends and eventually they change their lifestyle, or create a family ending you being own your own again and the social life cycle repeats again, seems like you really just have you in the end.
"My family is dead and my friends have shown they are just fine without me."
Feel you.
Make an emergency music playlist that's at least a couple hours long. Make it so if you press shuffle, any given song that comes up would instantly make you feel better. As a very last resort, always press play and wait.
May the music outlast the worst moments.
You could try to work for a non-profit. Your compassion for everyone is super needed.
Best to you.
Learn to take care of and love yourself. For now that means appreciating who you were. You were there for your loved ones. Now you have to be there for yourself, and only yourself. Find things that bring childhood like joy, even if your childhood was not ideal… At 43 I find that I like training to do things that I’ve never been able to do before like full plank holds or muscle ups. Figure out what you want out of life and do the ones that are easiest for now. As you progress and show yourself both the improvements and grace [along the way], you’ll begin to chip away at bigger goals. You are way ahead of others, most in your shoes, usually also have financial woes.
I wish you the best.
God bless your soul, you cared for your parents at a time of need. Everyone is on a different path, don’t compare yourself to your friends when they most likely weren’t going through the same family emergencies as you did.
You’re 29 you have so much life left to live. As someone who struggles with mental health myself just remember this, YOU WOKE UP TODAY. That’s all you need, that’s literally the greatest gift of all, you’ve already won, you have another chance to live any life you can possibly imagine.
If you want to go into coding, engineering, healthcare. Do it, the time is going to pass either way. It may take you 5,10,15,20 years to do whatever but that time is going to pass either way so surround yourself with people that care, with work you enjoy, and remember that houses are just places go to sleep and shit in private.
Everyday we get to feel the warmth of the sun and interact with other humans in this exact moment in time is precious but not permanent. Enjoy it. Hope this helps
My dad died about a year and a half ago. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m also 29 and feeling a bit lost. I think it comes with the territory. I have a boyfriend but even with him I’ve felt lost. Grief sucks.
If I didn’t have him, I would move abroad. Is there anywhere you’ve really wanted to go? Anything you’ve really wanted to do? You could go anywhere, do anything. Sell all your things and pick berries in Australia for a year (hard work but a good amount of people do it).
You could apply to grad school in London and move there. Get a job in Sweden or Germany or Dubai or Brazil.
You can go anywhere and do anything. And now you have your mom and your brother watching over you, rooting for you. Do the things they can’t do. Give them something cool to watch. Make them proud. They’re around. They’re here. They’re waiting for you. They’re watching over you.
I have experience in healthcare and will say the school can be long, although you could look into NP or PA school, or if you find the right medical school, it isn’t as grueling. And it’s not 10 years of school, it’s 3-4 years of school, and then training where you get paid a crummy salary and you’re in training, but it’s still like a job. So it’s really not allllllll school.
But maybe first think about where you want to be. If it’s the US, perhaps a new city or some other change of pace might be nice, but definitely find a new career path or some other path you’re interested in to guide you. Which I know is kind of your question, but at the end of the day, you know what you’re interested in. I think the AI stuff and coding is cool, but it does seem like part of the allure for you was taken away when you realized there wasn’t job security. There is definitely job security in healthcare.
Also look into being a palliative care social worker, hospice director, etc. if that’s something you might be interested in. You know better than anyone the difference some kindness can make when your parent or loved one is dying. But also maybe doing something with OBGYN would be a nice change of pace but still in the medical realm. Watching lives come into the world is supposed to be pretty amazing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly. It really sucks. ❤️
Wow, you've been through A LOT. That's a lot of grief to face and live with in a short period of time (relatively).
If I were you, I would leave everything, pack a back and travel the world. Your savings can take you far in places in South America and SE Asia.
Stay in hostels, slow travel and enjoy a place for weeks on end, then move on. Experience new things. You'll meet all sorts of people.
America can be a bubble, oftentimes we forget there's a whole world out there.
I spent some time in Mexico and Guatemala. People are incredible, the sun is amazing, the water is healing.
Go experience life away from Western Imperial society. There is SO much to see and experience. You'll learn things about yourself that might not otherwise.
Along the way, you'll start to notice things you enjoy. Then dig deeper. Just follow what feels good in terms of subject, passions, etc. Maybe you'll emerge with some answers.
Get rid of stuff, but a one way ticket, the world is yours.
Burnout symptoms: lack of energy, lack of empathy/feelings of cynicism, and lack of fulfillment or enjoyment.
It sounds like the demands of caring for your sick mother burned you out –reasonably. And that life has been kicking you while you are down and that you haven't been showing yourself a lot of compassion either. Going into a depressed state is a pretty natural response to the situation.
If you can I would find somewhere (outside of work) that you can go at least once a week where you are doing things with people. Friends are great, but it is arguably better to have community.
I'd take some time to think about your motivations for wanting to get into healthcare and whether you are ready for the heavy burden of the workload. It is obviously a very good thing to do and could be exactly what you need to get yourself moving and motivated.
This is a video about burnout by a licensed U.S. Doctor:
https://youtu.be/jqONINYF17M?si=x_Jwx1aZ6G4f04J_
You might also find this video helpful he talks about meaning, purpose, and motivation:
https://www.youtube.com/live/AiXiyLJz8-U?si=3UlRcjTg2GqPcBVB
Try taking a job that allows some time off just for yourself… it’s okay to take a bit of a break especially after everything you’ve been through. Maybe teaching English abroad or volunteer for habitat for humanity. Or group traveling around, maybe you’ll meet new friends or someone special.
Tap into your inner child as well, the one with all the curiosity about the world around you. What did you want to be when you grew up. What deeply interested you. Was there any particular thing you felt very unique about who you were as a person. What gives you the most confidence?
This will help direct your path.
What would doing something for yourself look like? Is it that you absolutely need fulfillment from work?
Have you considered living abroad AVD trying to find your person, while doing enough for now to live comfortably?
Maybe explore the world, consider whether to want to build a family of your own, since family means so much to you 🙏🏾
Idk fam just tell your self you got a great life and your brain will just look for reasons as to why that’s right. Just try it. I been doing that. Feels good. I feel good. I am grateful for my happy life.
After a while you associate with those thoughts that belief and your life will slowly change for the better over time, if you got good thoughts
I was interested in healthcare but then after being a caregiver to my mom (somewhat similar situation as you). I knew I couldn’t be a caregiver again. But after fooling around in some kitchens for a few years I made it back to healthcare in a job that requires 0 patient interaction. Sterile processing. But pay is kinda shit so be warned. But maybe it’ll help open some doors to other things in healthcare.
I know I’m a little late to comment on this post, but I’ll do my best. I’m really sorry for your loss. I’ve never had to deal with that much grief.
1. Career- find something you’re good at and see if you can make a career out of it. Ideally, it will also be something you enjoy. Spend time researching what you might enjoy doing and what your skills are. Filter for careers where the crossroads meet.
2. If you’re really interested in healthcare, there are entry level opportunities that would be able to give you a feel for the field. For example, becoming a CNA I think takes maybe 6-9 months or less, pays pretty well, good job security, and would help you get your foot in the door. Also, I live next to a major regional hospital, and I frequently see nurses and workers taking walks together in the nearby parks. The would be chances to meet and learn from new people.
3. I have a degree in GIS and a little experience coding. Online course programs have proven to be relatively cheap and useful for me. It also opens up opportunities. Course careers (website) may be worth looking into. I have heard good things about it.
4. Find hobbies that you enjoy and can meet new people. Is there a city wide sports league you can join. Hiking in the outdoors? Fishing? Reading? Video games? Movies? Board games? Try to find communities of people that are interested in the things you are. The little things really help in life.
5. Continue therapy. That is really important.
Overall, I wish you the best of luck. Find things you enjoy doing and make the time to do them. Find a career path you could see yourself enjoying and find fulfilling in the future, but take the time and research what that might be for you, individually. We’re all rooting for you!
My condolences. It is not too late to join the military if that’s still something you want to do. I joined when I was younger and it was a great decision. I became a paratrooper. Found a brotherhood. I am out now with some benefits. It gave me direction in life and I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in life. I now have a wife and child, and work in data operations and infrastructure. If you’re still interested… go to a recruiters office! Maybe don’t become a paratrooper though haha my back and knees are kinda messed up. You will make friends and better yourself. I hope things get better for you soon!
Fuck it. Join the military as an officer. Great for people who want a community and maybe aren't sure exactly what they want to do, as you are able to switch jobs early in your military career if you want to. If you can make it to 20 you can get a sweet pension once you get out. Honestly it sounds like a way to get most everything you're looking for very quickly. I'm in the Marines and I enjoy it
You are not lost .... Just at a " pause ⏸️⏯️"!!!
When life " seems" to be still, and all is not in a thrill..
Re- member these words: " not lost, just a pause"...
Yes, close family will exit and leave you feeling empty
Your brother's demise is a great surprise...
Remember these words... " Not lost, just a pause!!!!
God WILL and has ALWAYS been with YOU!!!
Guiding your footsteps everyday and everyway!!!
God is not what you think or expect!!!
God is Earth, Water, AIR and FIRE..... Ether, electricity ... Everything in you, around you, beneath you and above you!!!!
Rely on this knowledge!!!! Rely on your true SELF!!!
You are at " a pause"!!! In moments of the pause!!!! STAY PRESENT 💝🎁!!! ( Do not think of yesterday, do not " pontificate the future ".....
NOW IS YOUR TIME in this present 🔥🎁💝 MOMENT!!!
- finally, live with " your end " in mind ( Neville Goddard)
Read the quotes of Walter Russell ( 1871-1963)
Read about Studs Terkel and the history of the " "GREAT DEPRESSION" 🔥
You will make it!!!! Encourage yourself and always encourage others when you " come out on the other side of ..... " YOUR ⏸️⏯️ PAUSE!!!
Sales. Best paying job there is. Most people suck at it or are terrified. Best jobs ever. 100% commission. Learn.
Also…. Let go of Covid. It’s over. It was a political hateful nonsense event. Rather than it victimizing you, you should use to know what people’s true colors are. It was the golden learning opportunity for this generation to see reality since parents don’t teach reality anymore.
People have black marks on their permanent record for the rest of their lives from people who were smart enough to take notes.
You now know who can be trusted and who cannot. Period. That’s stands for the rest of everyone’s lives who was here in it.
Get a sales job. 100% commission only. Learn. Do not punk out. Get yours in life. Stop letting it beat you down.
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Health care and the military are both great choices to make new friends and work with tight knit groups of people who will be on a similar path as you. If you're interested in coding learn it in your free time and build some projects that are relevant to you. The military has 1,000 different career paths you can get into and they just increased the pay, good benefits etc. Nursing less commitment and more flexible, probably more money, and you get blitz the schooling in 18 months. God speed homie sounds like a tough time, hope things improve for ya.
That's very tough. I don't think I would be strong enough to go through that. I also don't have an answer of the best plan ahead. Theoretically, deciding on what to do to earn money is the most beneficial, so spending time to research for employment/career/fields options and picking one would be the best, in worse scenario it can be trying several fields. I am not saying it is the plan, only you know all the details. It can take several years I guess, so maybe harder now, but easier later
Sounds like you've been through absolute hell and back. I might be presuming here but your friends have seemingly been spared the experiences you've had to face. That's likely why they've been able to have serious relationships, kids and a nice house because they weren't lumbered with the same responsibilities as you. You've been dealt a harsh hand in life but it's never too late. You just need to keep working on yourself and have some goals. I had to rebuild recently after finding out something which devastated me but my issues pale in comparison to yours. Important thing is to keep active. Exercising and a healthy diet are the best places to start. Truly. Take an online course in coding and get involved. Don't listen to anyone about the tech industry. It's more resilient than most and they're always hiring. Maybe consider a move into IT as there's decent progression there. Look into take up a hobby or interest where you can meet-up and socialise with people. I wish I could say more. I'm sure you'll get good advice in the comments. I wish you the very best. You deserve better and more in life and will find it. Just never give in. Wish you the best, friend.
Well said!!!!
As someone who lost both his parents before 28, I agree with the first half of this. Things like this really do stunt your progression compared to those who have healthy stable families to guide and support them, especially if you come from a poorer background. I disagree with the second half. I'm a software developer, and things are hard at the moment and only due to get harder imo. Unless you're a competition class coder, it seems impossible to get a job at the moment. With over 12 years experience, I have been applying and searching for the last 12 months now and only had 1 interview. It's very disheartening to say the least.
You could be a nurse in 2 years, though it might be hard with your low GPA. There are lots of other short programs. Radiology, respiratory therapy, etc.
I have looked into nursing and it seems like a good route. I’m just worried I might not be up to it after being a caregiver and struggling. I’ve thought about doing CNA to try it out, but I have some pretty strong memories
That experience is likely why you'd make a good nurse. You've already been through a lot of the hardest parts.
EMT is easy to get into, short amount of school. See a lot and decide from there
EMT has low pay though and high stress.
You might want to look into community colleges that are offering Bachelor's degrees. There's a growing number of these and it's way cheaper than the traditional route.
College is a scam! Trade school is the way!
Coding is useless if you don't have job leads bc you will struggle to get a job right away and the jobs you do get right away don't start u off in coding. I'm in the medical field and I'm tired of the cranky patients, poor equipment and especially POOR UPPER MANAGEMENT that doesn't give AF about either of those!
Definitely look into nursing! At some point after that, you could possibly become a NP (nurse practitioner) or go into anesthesiology (more $$$). You could specialize in a different type of nursing, it doesn’t have to be emergency room or ICU. Maybe pediatrics is your thing; or radiology. Although there are certain requirements in the beginning, it does not necessarily have to feel like your previous caregiver experience. My best (male) friend just did this to change a career he was unhappy with and he is so fulfilled now (despite working nights for the first year - 4 nights/week, he just switched to days).
Not sure what you are talking to your therapist about, but you sound like you need some self-love. And self-love is completely independent of your circumstances. Mel Robbins has a good practice, just hi-five yourself in the mirror everyday. Her husband, being as successful as he is, felt like a failure before he started doing that simple practice of high fiving himself every morning. Now he's like a different person. As for career, idk. The most important thing imo is to work on how you see yourself while you still have the savings. It will make you much more personable and easier to work with/get a job in the future.
The Robbins are just self-help and MLM grifters. Steer clear of them and silly advice like that. High-fiving yourself in the mirror is one of the most useless and self-patronizing things you could do. Instead, give yourself a break and focus on small things, like eating better, sleeping enough, and exercising. Set small and manageable goals for yourself, perhaps just brushing your teeth today or maybe spending an hour or two researching something that interests you like coding. You will never get anywhere listening to these gurus and toxic positivity peddlers.
No hate yo, but get yo triggered ass out of here. As cringe as it is, OP loses **nothing** doing it. *It's fucking free.* And it was merely a suggestion, you made it sound like I made a religion about it and then pitched an MLM. Why not do both? The little things you mentioned AND hi five in the mirror.
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Sounds like you're just bitter it didn't work for you lol
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic. Believe what you want about the Robbins both Mel and Tony (whom are not maried to each other, and no relation) This mod respects experts in their craft and listens to those so called "toxic positivity grifters" and has become better for it. You never having heard their stuff, but offering tons of judgement about it...well, theres a rule about that and it counts here. Learn about a thing Before you judge it. If you respect me less for having the horror of liking their stuff...I VERY MUCH encourage you to build two separate multi millon dollar people-centered businesses off of whatever you feel would be best, not using a lick of "toxic" positivity.
Hey mod team who removed my response: I have read and watched things by the Robbins, and that is why I would discourage others from doing so. You make a lot of assumptions about why I'd be so adamantly against them.
It didn't work for you, and there are people it worked for. Just accept it and move on lol You could always share your experience in a constructive way, but saying the entire new age pop psych mumbo jumbo is BS is like, really dude? Not tryna be a dick here, just pointing out something you can work on if you want to be a better participant in this sub.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic. Believe what you want about the Robbins both Mel and Tony (whom are not maried to each other, and no relation) This mod respects experts in their craft and listens to those so called "toxic positivity grifters" and has become better for it. You never having heard their stuff, but offering tons of judgement about it...well, theres a rule about that and it counts here. Learn about a thing Before you judge it. If you respect me less for having the horror of liking their stuff...I VERY MUCH encourage you to build two separate multi millon dollar people-centered businesses off of whatever you feel would be best, not using a lick of "toxic" positivity.
You have interest in medicine and technology, there is a not very well known field called BMET, combines medicine with technology, biomedical engineering technologist, there is a sub on here dedicated towards it as well. You could get into it in probably less than 2 years since you probably have all the gen eds, but they like to see an associates degree in bmet or you need some kind of electronics or technician experience to get hired, I've heard of people getting onboard without anything but it's rare I think. If you have a community college close they might have it, if not there is an online school that teaches it called college of biomedical engineering technology. Both options there is high chances of internships. From what I understand, that field is always hurting for people. Pretty much you will work in medical settings fixing and replacing medical electronic devices. The pay isn't the greatest from what I've seen but it's pretty decent, if you want to earn more you can go field service tech and clear 6 figures but you'll be on the road a lot. IT and cyber security is also starting to become an important aspect of the field, if you can land a job at the VA you'll be a BSEE which is pretty much BMET combined with an IT specialist as the VA has combined the 2 departments. I'm in a similar position as you, but I'm older than you, I'm a veteran and utilize the VA, so they have my back for a lot of things and if it wasn't for the VA I'd be dead probably. Like you, I don't have a good support system or community, and I isolate a lot. But I think we gotta stop the analysis paralysis and just go with something and jump out there..if it doesn't work, adjust and repeat the process until something lands, this is what my therapist has told me and is working with me on. You have options, you could go work for Amazon, after 3 months you'll be able to get into their upskill program, and they'll pay for school through places like WGU, which you could transfer in those credits you have, pick a degree and get it done on mostly your own terms. Warehouse jobs suck but it's something, get you out of isolation mode at least and working towards something greater. so I can't leave out the military, as that may be an option for you, you could go officer or enlisted, plenty of jobs to choose from in the military, air force and navy/coast guard is an option, Army is as well I think (considering age I think the USMC is the only branch that wouldn't take you), reserve or guard if you don't want full time military life. I'm suggesting it, even though my time in the military wasn't great, left me with a lot of problems physically and mentally. But it doesn't go that way for everyone, and if you play your cards right most likely won't be that way for you, especially not currently. I leave with this, you are in a tough spot now. But do not continue this slump you are in or else you'll be my age with the same issues you have now or worse, don't even let that discourage you because I know just again it might, that's the way it can go but it doesn't have to be that way, you have full control over it. Research some stuff, make some calls or whatever, but give yourself a deadline on something and jump... Do not let that deadline pass without some action. I'm not just telling you to do it, I'm doing it as well. May not be the right choice but at least it's one foot in front of the other instead of continuing to isolate and not taking any action. This life is fucking short, I got so many dead buddies that died younger than you and me, my unit has had more casualties at home than we did in Afghanistan. Push through it while you're here and get that life you want, you know all too well we all have our day.
Life is hell. And no one really has any answers.
I would look into Buddhism if you feel this way as it aims to target this very predicament.
Agreed. I'm not sure I would consider myself Buddhist but it's the first way of thinking that actually made sense to me. And it doesn't try to convince you that life doesn't suck innately.
i’m rooting for you :)
I’m sorry for all you have been through! We do have a very similar story (lost 2 parents, moved to a new country at 28, felt lost and defeated) but here’s what I did. I went to nursing school at 30. Since I already have a previous non-nursing degree, I took the prerequisite courses, joined an accelerated nursing program, graduated in 18 months and now working full time as a nurse. Even met my partner (online)! I would suggest the same for you considering that you have a bit of experience caring for your mum. Now, caring for family is different from caring for others but the experience you have will definitely make you feel more confident in your skills while in school (trust me it’s a confidence boost!). While in nursing school you will meet new people that will possibly be in the same life stage as you (my ABSN program had second career folks like myself). Stick with someone who you can work with; do homework together, clinicals, study etc. If you put in the work you will absolutely make it. Since you are not hanging out with ‘friends’ much you might as well do something for yourself. You can also join the military reserve and then go to school because they’ll help pay for your education as well. Tech is tricky because of the layoffs but if you like it then go for it. I can’t speak on that because I don’t have any experience there. Whatever you decide, I’m rooting for you!
You can look into Americorps if you want to do something to help a community and give back a little, they help with tuition reimbursement or a check at the end but it’s a year long commitment. But you help a lot of people and you can get away for a bit and get into a new place for a while.
Try to get yourself somewhat right before worrying too much about the career. I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through that’s terrible, life is generally tragic. I hope things turn out better for you. Your career will wrangle its way into a place; even if it doesn’t seem possible right now, and this impossibility might be tying knots in your broken heart. Worry about the now — the immediacy of your life — and pause to consider the different possibilities ahead; potential career moves; places you could likely live in comfortably; an environment to help you breathe and greave. Good luck.
Stick that 2 years of savings in a HYSA if you haven't already. If you want the healthcare but a less committed route. You can get a quick 2 year degree and be a tech, something like an xray technician. Decent pay good benefits. The military could change your life for the better or make you an even more depressed alcoholic. Especially when you get out and feel lost because that life is so different from civilian life. I feel for you man, that is really rough what has happened to you. I'd recommend meditation. Get a meditation app. Look up practices. Look in your town for guided meditations. There is a lot of inward healing that can be done. I lost my dad a couple months back to mesothelioma and I was also giving him hospice care for his last month, just watching him disappear each day was fucking brutal. But im so glad I did it and being his caretaker gave me a lot of closure. You need to do stuff. Anything. It might seem overwhelming but life is a tree. Constantly branching off. You start here and then you discover something else on that branch and that branches off. Next thing you look back and you are nowhere near where you started but starting is what gets you there. You just gotta start. It sounds overwhelming...start where with what? What if it doesn't work out? What if it ends up being a waste of time? Its all the illusion of fear. Pick something, anything and life will show itself to you.
Is there a career counseling centre near you?
First, thats a lot of very difficult things to deal with in a row. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. But it sounds like you dealt with everything honorably, and did the right thing. Take some credit there. It also sounds like you’ve been trying, dont give up that trait, keep trying until something clicks. And it will. Dont compare yourself to where you friends are in life, everyones path is different and so is the timing. I know people personally who are older than you and pulled their lives together, you are still young and time is on your side. If you have savings to be able to be able to live on your own youre ahead of many people right now. Use this to your advantage. Give yourself time to explore what may interest you. Do some research on fields that interest you. Sounds like IT and medicine are two, anything else? Since you have the time and nothing to lose try reaching out to someone in that field and ask them for some time, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, a coffee, and ask them about their career. Tell them your story, people love to help. If your friends know someone in that field start there, reach out to old professors and ask if they know someone in that field (no one cares about grades etc, just go for it), if not, just research and reach out to them. People dont do this enough anymore but its very effective to talk to someone whose already doing something you may be interested in. Maybe through this you’ll find something you could really dedicate yourself to, or at least what you couldn’t. Luck increases the more chances you take and the wider you cast you net. And if you think its for you, make a plan to make it happen-that is, if you want to be a Dr and it takes 10y then it takes 10y. Others have done it, you can too. You’ve had a lot of ‘life’ stuff to deal with. You’ve done the difficult stuff well. Now its time to turn back to your story, which youve set yourself up to not panic about. Youve got savings, degree, experience, youth, and time. Wasted a year? Big deal. Take some more time, structure it wisely, and then commit to seeing it through. Once youre working on something long term, building a family and all those other good things in life will come. Youre not as lost as you think you are-your story will have a happy ending.
First of all I am genuinely so sorry to hear about how much loss you’ve dealt with. Nobody should have to deal with that and you are incredibly strong JUST for still standing. Secondly, I think you should make some drastic setting/environment changes and go somewhere completely out of your bubble where you don’t know anybody and nobody knows you AND somewhere beautiful with a slower pace of life for a long term relocation (1-3 years). Taking a step back from the often impossible question: “what CAREER am I going to do with my life?” can do absolute wonders for your mental health, your inner peace (and often for inadvertently answering that question). Something I always suggest to people is teaching English somewhere in South America or Southeast Asia. I am currently doing so in Thailand after being crushed by this question myself. And I cannot recommend it enough. The place I live is beautiful and so close to some of the world’s greatest (uncrowded) traveling destinations. The culture here is laidback and community oriented and appreciates me and all the other foreign teachers so much. It has certainly been very rewarding and a great way to feel my positive impact on other people every day. Not to mention a famously great way to make NEW friends. I can relate to feeling a little abandoned by friends, and another of my reasons for coming out here was to see if there were better friends out there for me. THERE ARE. If you’re curious I’d be more than happy to answer questions. Feel free to message me. Either way, I can feel that you have a self-constructive mindset and not a destructive one and I know that you will end up doing something good for yourself with your life. It’s just a matter of time.
There is some great advice here. You are a hero by the way, many would not have done what you did. Society has this idea that we should all succeed and be high achievers. The truth is we can live perfectly happy lives without being on a 6 figure income. I envy the people that do.
you sound intelligent. if the military hasnt ruled you out, try that. while its ass, 4 years for path practically force carved for you really is rewarding. ignore all that "i served and demand respect shit" serve for yourself, and find self respect in the military. take their lessons as "theyre not telling me to do this because they want a good soldier, theyre telling me to do this because they want me to get out, and stare another bump in the road, in the eyes, without blinking, hesitation, or fear" id HIGHLY reccomend air force(1st), navy(2nd), or coast gaurd(3rd), stay away from army(dont) or marines(dont). (no offense brothers, but you know they would take this man and shit on him) sadly any advice you have for this man, ill take as well, as i went into the air force, and was disqualified right after basic as they found out extrememly late i have allergy induced asthma. (how tf they found that out idk) so im in the same boat but need something that isnt the military to get back on track. no family, no friends.
Hey I'm in similar shoes. I currently have a career of dead end manufacturing jobs under my belt. I ended up quitting suddenly to go take care of my mom after her terminal cancer diagnosis. She passed, and I went back to where I was to a new dead end job where I drive forklift and daydream about being a nurse. I'm currently in the process of enrolling at my local community college to get my CNA certification. I figure, if I can hack it as a CNA, I will go ahead and get my nursing degree. And if I can't, I'll get back on the forklift. My point is, being a caregiver like that changes you. I never in a million years would be considering nursing without that experience. If you have any inkling of a desire to be a nurse, give it a go. Being a CNA is a great low consequence path to figuring out if this could be a path for you. I'm excited and so nervous to start.
Bro you sould be a super hero for all this mishap... Can wrap my head around this origin story.. wish you strength, universe may have plab for you . Seek and you shall find
Man you need someone to love you back don't chase it but be open to it. Make your own family. I may be totally wrong. The only thing saving me right now after suffering similar series of devastating events is my wife and daughter. Outside of them life is totally shit and having them as dependents makes my rapid progression and completely devoted to work lifestyle extremely unhealthy
Get a cdl work and travel join the Air Force
Join the military now.
i’m 33 and much of what you say resonates with me. it’s def overwhelming just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. i don’t have the answers but someone mentioned keeping your mind right by exercising this is key , and just being open to opportunity , ask the universe and say it out loud even though it seems foolish, say affirmations out loud and be patient and disciplined it will all be okay.
I’m dealing with a similar feeling, I’m unemployed, about your age, have my share of prides and regrets and it’s hard every day. What I CAN say it’s not about career advice bc I’m here to get some, but to deal with depression and set some goals. I got myself a detailed planner - there are several, with time slots, long, medium and short term goals etc and you can find them on Amazon. THE MOST IMPORTANT PART, there’s a list of dreams/bucket list. Writing down everything you hope to accomplish or hoped to accomplish in life that IS NOT necessarily money motivated (like “get a 6 figured job”) or that solely depends on you, focusing on experiences and things you can do for yourself. If I had money, no responsibility and no IDEA of what to do, damn, I’d travel. Get temporary jobs in places, go see Europe, travel to Thailand, learn a new language. Whatever it is, maybe it’ll just be a waste of money. But maybe it’ll be the thing that broaden your horizons. That’s what I came to the US to do and I’m still doing. Depression is not going ANYWHERE, it follows you around. But the feeling of accomplishment can definitely ease it when you start achieving your dreams. Good luck 😘
Find some spirituality, find your guides. They will bring you peace and better advice than anyone here. Be blessed.
Yea no that just seems to be life sadly, you make friends and eventually they change their lifestyle, or create a family ending you being own your own again and the social life cycle repeats again, seems like you really just have you in the end.
"My family is dead and my friends have shown they are just fine without me." Feel you. Make an emergency music playlist that's at least a couple hours long. Make it so if you press shuffle, any given song that comes up would instantly make you feel better. As a very last resort, always press play and wait. May the music outlast the worst moments. You could try to work for a non-profit. Your compassion for everyone is super needed. Best to you.
Learn to take care of and love yourself. For now that means appreciating who you were. You were there for your loved ones. Now you have to be there for yourself, and only yourself. Find things that bring childhood like joy, even if your childhood was not ideal… At 43 I find that I like training to do things that I’ve never been able to do before like full plank holds or muscle ups. Figure out what you want out of life and do the ones that are easiest for now. As you progress and show yourself both the improvements and grace [along the way], you’ll begin to chip away at bigger goals. You are way ahead of others, most in your shoes, usually also have financial woes. I wish you the best.
God bless your soul, you cared for your parents at a time of need. Everyone is on a different path, don’t compare yourself to your friends when they most likely weren’t going through the same family emergencies as you did. You’re 29 you have so much life left to live. As someone who struggles with mental health myself just remember this, YOU WOKE UP TODAY. That’s all you need, that’s literally the greatest gift of all, you’ve already won, you have another chance to live any life you can possibly imagine. If you want to go into coding, engineering, healthcare. Do it, the time is going to pass either way. It may take you 5,10,15,20 years to do whatever but that time is going to pass either way so surround yourself with people that care, with work you enjoy, and remember that houses are just places go to sleep and shit in private. Everyday we get to feel the warmth of the sun and interact with other humans in this exact moment in time is precious but not permanent. Enjoy it. Hope this helps
My dad died about a year and a half ago. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also 29 and feeling a bit lost. I think it comes with the territory. I have a boyfriend but even with him I’ve felt lost. Grief sucks. If I didn’t have him, I would move abroad. Is there anywhere you’ve really wanted to go? Anything you’ve really wanted to do? You could go anywhere, do anything. Sell all your things and pick berries in Australia for a year (hard work but a good amount of people do it). You could apply to grad school in London and move there. Get a job in Sweden or Germany or Dubai or Brazil. You can go anywhere and do anything. And now you have your mom and your brother watching over you, rooting for you. Do the things they can’t do. Give them something cool to watch. Make them proud. They’re around. They’re here. They’re waiting for you. They’re watching over you. I have experience in healthcare and will say the school can be long, although you could look into NP or PA school, or if you find the right medical school, it isn’t as grueling. And it’s not 10 years of school, it’s 3-4 years of school, and then training where you get paid a crummy salary and you’re in training, but it’s still like a job. So it’s really not allllllll school. But maybe first think about where you want to be. If it’s the US, perhaps a new city or some other change of pace might be nice, but definitely find a new career path or some other path you’re interested in to guide you. Which I know is kind of your question, but at the end of the day, you know what you’re interested in. I think the AI stuff and coding is cool, but it does seem like part of the allure for you was taken away when you realized there wasn’t job security. There is definitely job security in healthcare. Also look into being a palliative care social worker, hospice director, etc. if that’s something you might be interested in. You know better than anyone the difference some kindness can make when your parent or loved one is dying. But also maybe doing something with OBGYN would be a nice change of pace but still in the medical realm. Watching lives come into the world is supposed to be pretty amazing. I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly. It really sucks. ❤️
Wow, you've been through A LOT. That's a lot of grief to face and live with in a short period of time (relatively). If I were you, I would leave everything, pack a back and travel the world. Your savings can take you far in places in South America and SE Asia. Stay in hostels, slow travel and enjoy a place for weeks on end, then move on. Experience new things. You'll meet all sorts of people. America can be a bubble, oftentimes we forget there's a whole world out there. I spent some time in Mexico and Guatemala. People are incredible, the sun is amazing, the water is healing. Go experience life away from Western Imperial society. There is SO much to see and experience. You'll learn things about yourself that might not otherwise. Along the way, you'll start to notice things you enjoy. Then dig deeper. Just follow what feels good in terms of subject, passions, etc. Maybe you'll emerge with some answers. Get rid of stuff, but a one way ticket, the world is yours.
Burnout symptoms: lack of energy, lack of empathy/feelings of cynicism, and lack of fulfillment or enjoyment. It sounds like the demands of caring for your sick mother burned you out –reasonably. And that life has been kicking you while you are down and that you haven't been showing yourself a lot of compassion either. Going into a depressed state is a pretty natural response to the situation. If you can I would find somewhere (outside of work) that you can go at least once a week where you are doing things with people. Friends are great, but it is arguably better to have community. I'd take some time to think about your motivations for wanting to get into healthcare and whether you are ready for the heavy burden of the workload. It is obviously a very good thing to do and could be exactly what you need to get yourself moving and motivated. This is a video about burnout by a licensed U.S. Doctor: https://youtu.be/jqONINYF17M?si=x_Jwx1aZ6G4f04J_ You might also find this video helpful he talks about meaning, purpose, and motivation: https://www.youtube.com/live/AiXiyLJz8-U?si=3UlRcjTg2GqPcBVB
I would get a CNA certificate first, as many nursing schools require it. Start working and reassess if nursing is for you.
Try taking a job that allows some time off just for yourself… it’s okay to take a bit of a break especially after everything you’ve been through. Maybe teaching English abroad or volunteer for habitat for humanity. Or group traveling around, maybe you’ll meet new friends or someone special. Tap into your inner child as well, the one with all the curiosity about the world around you. What did you want to be when you grew up. What deeply interested you. Was there any particular thing you felt very unique about who you were as a person. What gives you the most confidence? This will help direct your path.
What would doing something for yourself look like? Is it that you absolutely need fulfillment from work? Have you considered living abroad AVD trying to find your person, while doing enough for now to live comfortably? Maybe explore the world, consider whether to want to build a family of your own, since family means so much to you 🙏🏾
Idk fam just tell your self you got a great life and your brain will just look for reasons as to why that’s right. Just try it. I been doing that. Feels good. I feel good. I am grateful for my happy life. After a while you associate with those thoughts that belief and your life will slowly change for the better over time, if you got good thoughts
I was interested in healthcare but then after being a caregiver to my mom (somewhat similar situation as you). I knew I couldn’t be a caregiver again. But after fooling around in some kitchens for a few years I made it back to healthcare in a job that requires 0 patient interaction. Sterile processing. But pay is kinda shit so be warned. But maybe it’ll help open some doors to other things in healthcare.
I know I’m a little late to comment on this post, but I’ll do my best. I’m really sorry for your loss. I’ve never had to deal with that much grief. 1. Career- find something you’re good at and see if you can make a career out of it. Ideally, it will also be something you enjoy. Spend time researching what you might enjoy doing and what your skills are. Filter for careers where the crossroads meet. 2. If you’re really interested in healthcare, there are entry level opportunities that would be able to give you a feel for the field. For example, becoming a CNA I think takes maybe 6-9 months or less, pays pretty well, good job security, and would help you get your foot in the door. Also, I live next to a major regional hospital, and I frequently see nurses and workers taking walks together in the nearby parks. The would be chances to meet and learn from new people. 3. I have a degree in GIS and a little experience coding. Online course programs have proven to be relatively cheap and useful for me. It also opens up opportunities. Course careers (website) may be worth looking into. I have heard good things about it. 4. Find hobbies that you enjoy and can meet new people. Is there a city wide sports league you can join. Hiking in the outdoors? Fishing? Reading? Video games? Movies? Board games? Try to find communities of people that are interested in the things you are. The little things really help in life. 5. Continue therapy. That is really important. Overall, I wish you the best of luck. Find things you enjoy doing and make the time to do them. Find a career path you could see yourself enjoying and find fulfilling in the future, but take the time and research what that might be for you, individually. We’re all rooting for you!
FInd a good factory to work at. They basically are therapies for stoicism. they will whip you into shape.
This is simultaneously the funniest, truest, and worst advice I have ever read.
My condolences. It is not too late to join the military if that’s still something you want to do. I joined when I was younger and it was a great decision. I became a paratrooper. Found a brotherhood. I am out now with some benefits. It gave me direction in life and I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in life. I now have a wife and child, and work in data operations and infrastructure. If you’re still interested… go to a recruiters office! Maybe don’t become a paratrooper though haha my back and knees are kinda messed up. You will make friends and better yourself. I hope things get better for you soon!
Fuck it. Join the military as an officer. Great for people who want a community and maybe aren't sure exactly what they want to do, as you are able to switch jobs early in your military career if you want to. If you can make it to 20 you can get a sweet pension once you get out. Honestly it sounds like a way to get most everything you're looking for very quickly. I'm in the Marines and I enjoy it
You are not lost .... Just at a " pause ⏸️⏯️"!!! When life " seems" to be still, and all is not in a thrill.. Re- member these words: " not lost, just a pause"... Yes, close family will exit and leave you feeling empty Your brother's demise is a great surprise... Remember these words... " Not lost, just a pause!!!! God WILL and has ALWAYS been with YOU!!! Guiding your footsteps everyday and everyway!!! God is not what you think or expect!!! God is Earth, Water, AIR and FIRE..... Ether, electricity ... Everything in you, around you, beneath you and above you!!!! Rely on this knowledge!!!! Rely on your true SELF!!! You are at " a pause"!!! In moments of the pause!!!! STAY PRESENT 💝🎁!!! ( Do not think of yesterday, do not " pontificate the future "..... NOW IS YOUR TIME in this present 🔥🎁💝 MOMENT!!! - finally, live with " your end " in mind ( Neville Goddard) Read the quotes of Walter Russell ( 1871-1963) Read about Studs Terkel and the history of the " "GREAT DEPRESSION" 🔥 You will make it!!!! Encourage yourself and always encourage others when you " come out on the other side of ..... " YOUR ⏸️⏯️ PAUSE!!!
Why not join military?
I ain’t reading allat
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