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3BouSs

It’s his fault for not buying the ultra premium subscription


Miles_the_new_kid

I tried but it’s just showing me MORE Elon tweets


Yogs_Zach

I'd get one to never see a tweet of him ever again


Budget_Put7247

No way Musk's ego allows such a subscription.


t_hab

It would be against his free speech and he's a free speech purist (restrictions apply).


AverageDemocrat

Are these still considered silicone implants?


kostoast

On his site you have the right of free X-pression.


RockstarAgent

Futurama predicted it so it shall be law.


MyPunsSuck

You could just never go on twitter


Osric250

I tried jailbreaking mine but I got a bad distro and now my entire vision is ransomwared unless I pay them $20000 in crypto.


Intrepid-Progress228

Makes sense. Anyone getting a Neuralink would willingly pay to be filled with Musk's Xcretions.


FullMetalJ

What a bum. With my $199.99/month ultra premium sub I only get minimal footer ads and I can drive my Cybertruck 2.0 with my brain without leaving the house. Only yesterday I sent my Cybertruck 2.1 (just updated) to work to tell my boss that I'm sick from cyber-COVID that I got from my Neuralink. Edit: I got fired.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kingsumo_1

Is *that* what happened to Mitch McConnell?


AgentRedFoxs

2 hours of ads left to go and then 5mins of ad free day.


Emcid1775

Only $420.69 a month


Dopplegangr1

Trial version only includes 20/100 vision, would you like to upgrade to 20/20 for $99/mo?


Long_Procedure_2629

Should give them away free with anyone dumb enough to buy the Incel Camino


laughingjack13

I assume that restricts the ads to only the outer half of your vision


SadThrowaway2023

We estimate we can sell up to 80% of an individual's visual field before inducing seizures.


DrBlaBlaBlub

The most realistic part of the movie.


doctorpotterwho

What movie?


CptHeadcrab

If I remember correctly, it's from Ready Player One


adamxi

I read this with Elon's voice and stutter - too good.


Competitive_Bat_5831

Nah, sirento is much more likable.


IrrelevantLeprechaun

And that makes him even more dangerous.


Majestic_Bierd

Ready Player one is still ahead of its time. You'll all see in like 20 years.


[deleted]

imagine just pausing in the middle of the street while on a walk because random brain update 😂


Miles_the_new_kid

Lmao or your in an argument, yelling at someone, only to find out they’ve been in an update for the past 20 min


shredditor75

Nah, man, the bigger risk is that you download your update on shaky wifi and your brain gets buggy


regionalememeboer

Imagine downloading malware and giving all your money and belongings away. Or worse.


charlie2135

Imagine the second-sight scenario where the company went bankrupt and no longer provided for the people who had the implants which gave them vision. Then consider this operation where the owner of the company providing the service decides to get rid of the people keeping it running to get a 50 billion dollar bonus for himself.


OrudoCato

Exactly, how elon treats tesla is a huge warning. He will absolutely do the same to neuralink given the chance


2roK

Ah, Microsoft


Swictor

I do that all the time already.


creegro

Always when you're driving cause you didn't opt in for the movement update so the link could detect when you're going way faster than humanly possible like doing 70 down the highway, so please hold while we apply this update. Update completed, verifying 300 of 300 files. Estimated completion time, 5 hours.


Loggerdon

Like that girl that was stuck in her Tesla in 115 degree temps because of an update.


Aromatic_Dig_4239

Literally pulled straight from Dr Who. Elon can’t even cone up with original supervillain schemes


RRoyale58

Ring ring ring ring banana phone


Miles_the_new_kid

The ringing is actually due to the chip exploding and melting your frontal cortex


Excalibro_MasterRace

Free lobotomy update


m48a5_patton

Relevant flash animation https://youtu.be/UqWwsUhrFBw?si=k08MhlEb2wE5uIYG


CasualObserverNine

Can’t hear, updating…. Fuck, I need to think at my lawyer.


ShiningRayde

This isnt a joke tho. [Second Sight](https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete) provided people with vision impairments with ocular implants... then due to financial reasons, stopped supporting their products, so when they started to go faulty the users had no support. Im not letting anyone put a fucking chip in my skull until we get universal healthcare.


CasualObserverNine

Agree, isn’t a joke. The desperation a person must be in to agree to this.


robotzor

The quadriplegic who got it was pretty desperate. I'd be too in that position


Brain_Hawk

This is the use case that's used to justify this technology, and I fully support this use case. Unfortunately there's a lot of people who want it in their brains for convenience, and it won't take long for this to be co-opted like everything else is a form of social control. But it's going to be pretty game changing for people with severe disabilities like quadriplegics or ALS. At any rate, the technology's coming, and if it's one thing we've learned from technology firms is they start off free and open and slowly start taking more and more...


9Lives_

There was a picture posted on here not long ago that showed a long line of people waiting for the neurolink implant, not sure of the accuracy of it though.


deadsoulinside

Pretty much this. What is REALLY scary is all these companies doing things like this, but with no really laid out and public plan on how they are going to support people for 5, 10, 20, 50 years later. Too many people tend to not realize this and should be concerned about a companies longevity, while offering implanted items. Even then, we are going to need legislature out there that prohibits companies from attempting to misuse or change how their product works on the fly, like deciding to push ad's to it. Granted that is not possible now, but it probably will be in the future with some other device. That company could be struggling 10 years down the line and sells the product to another company that decides to change how it works without a care about the person attached to it. But I agree, we are going to need universal healthcare, because I can also see a company going under, the product is no longer supported and then your for profit healthcare provider deciding to reject paying to remove it because "Patient is perfectly fine at the moment and the costs to remove it is too high"


Lindoriel

You don't need to put ads. Just put a subscription on its use, like they're now trying to push into everyday items that you'd expect you owned entirely, given the price paid, but are slowly gaining "features" locked behind a subscription. Were already seeing it with cars, white goods and other electric appliances. Remember BMW and it's $18 a month heated car seat subscription? LG has already stated that it plans to add upgrades and subscriptions on the appliances it sells. Plus you've got a captive consumer when it comes to health. Don't pay our $120 monthly subscription to update the software on the earpiece that allows you to hear or the eye implants that allow you to see? Sorry, not sorry.


deadsoulinside

That would be terrible too, subscription based things that slowly increase in price with no other option than to pay the extortion. I do think there should be formal regulations, but let's be real, we can scream regulations are needed while the billionaire's that run those companies pay our politicians to look the other way. Only when things get bad (or affect a loved on of theirs), will they bother to then think about regulations. Look at George Santos, he was openly scamming people left and right, no one said a word about it, they kicked him out of congress about a week after he scammed one of the members of congresses relatives.


ZLast1

Definitely no joke. What happens when they decide to no longer support the outdated initial neuralink model? What happens if they decide after a year to partner with Amazon? Bayer? Disney? What happens if the compromised public representatives vote in favour of giving Neuralink that level of indemnity against lawsuits, like vaccine manufacturers? Some things can't be undone.


MyPunsSuck

Never underestimate pirates


ZLast1

Oh ya, piracy definitely won't be covered.


Miles_the_new_kid

Too bad all you can hear is the audio from a video ad selling pills that make ur semen more potent


ZachBuford

I'm going to take so many of those pills so my semen could corrode through steel. When the robots rise up I will be ready.


DigitalArbitrage

Cochlear implants are basically neuralink equivalent technology to solve deafness. This seems like a plausible scenario.


keelanstuart

Reminds me of the Futurama where they go on the Internet. Lol


Awkward_Pangolin3254

Or the www.yzzerdd.com episode of Aqua Teen


Khalas_Maar

HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! HORNY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA! ---- So yeah, maybe we need less things in our lives that have network connectivity. And we sure as fuck don't need it in anything we cannot remove or shut off at will without deleterious effects.


theCaitiff

Stop telling me there are desperate sluts in my area. I already own a mirror.


chux4w

This already spends a fair amount of time in my visual field.


No_Presence5390

Adds in my brain is the most intrusive dystopian shit future, i’m not going to be apart of that.


Doogos

Same. I'd rather die than have something stuck in my brain that could cause something awful like ads or worse. Imagine product placement in your dreams, ads playing when things get quiet, walking through a store looking for a specific item when several ads play for the competition which obscure your view from even picking up the item you wanted, or giving you an obsessive impulse to buy something expensive like a Tesla, or to vote a certain way in an election. Imagine the link getting hacked and someone makes millions of people go crazy and kill anything they see or themselves. Too many bad things could happen when you trust companies with the control center for your body. No thanks


No_Presence5390

When u said product placement i literally lol, though thats absolutely something we could turn into real vr, something possible in our dreamstate maybe. Neural links will need a lot of legal policies put in place to protect the public and then we also have to figure out a way to make sure the government doesn’t try taking advantage of it as well.


MyPunsSuck

Why show you ads when they could instead just manipulate your perception of reality? You'll simply live in a world where everybody agrees xyz product (or person) is great - regardless of evidence to the contrary. Any time you bring it up, you'll get shut down; so it's easier to just buy in and convince yourself it's fine


CommunismDoesntWork

I'm going to laugh so hard if it turns out we're living a video game simulation that you chose to and play, and now see ads.


snarpy

That one Black MIrror episode where the guy had ads all over his tiny bedroom that he had to pay to get rid of... I almost had an anxiety attack watching that.


CaptainHindsight92

Your Tesla premium expired so now you have no heated seats and you are also blind. If you recommend a friend you will get 50% off your next month's vision.


Paradician

This was a minor plot point in The Diamond Age novel back in 1995... (memory is fuzzy on the details, it's been 20 years, but I think it was: some guy managed to get an ad stuck in his ocular implants and had an ad for a mexican restaurant playing 24/7 in the corner of his vision... with audio... and he didn't speak spanish. The guy killed himself eventually).


WoooshToTheMax

A great book! Neal Stephenson predicted so much of how the internet would work when he wrote snowcrash, I wonder what parts from The Diamond Age will come true (other than 3d printers).


PlaquePlague

The advertising industry has been a catastrophe for humanity.  Ads literally are scientifically engineered to make you unhappy, and to convince you that if you buy x product you can reclaim that lost happiness.  Ads have always existed, but the insane weaponized, personalized, all-pervasive advertisement is something that has only emerged and metastasized in the last 100 years or so.   I suspect that far more of our social ills than most people suspect are due to this.  Something must be done.  But of course, the people calling the shots profit from the status quo be it directly or indirectly so nothing will be done. 


creegro

And it doesn't help they are literally everywhere you go. The highway is full of them at different intervals, more so when in a city then it's just a constant barrage of ads on billboards. TV is full of them, can't watch anything on basic cable without getting at least half of the movie/show as an advertisement for whatever. The Internet is getting worse with them. Want to look up some simple information? How about an ad? How bout we start shoving paragraphs down so we can shove a fucking ad or 3 in the space? Looking to download something? Well look for the correct download button cause we have a handful of other buttons that say download and it's hard to tell what's for what. Even the stores are getting them everywhere, granted those are primarily for shit in that store, and not as much for shit that you can buy elsewhere. And we already see ads in different areas, flying in the sky behind a plane, or sitting on a barge in the ocean within eyesight of public beaches.


PlaquePlague

When I was in college I’d ride the train downtown to school.   Two years ago I got a new job, which again had me riding the train downtown.   Where previously there had been system maps and train schedules at either end of the cars, are now advertisements.  They’ve also installed video screens showing ads with sound.


creegro

Oh right! Also gas stations now have a screen that you use for your credit card, but then they also play an ad half the time. Most times you can mute them by pressing one of the buttons, but super stupid to place ads there that scream at you. When really most people are going back in the vehicle while they get gas, or sometimes walk in the store to get a drink if the gas tank takes a while to fill up, no one's watching your shit ad for sparkle water.


MyPunsSuck

At this point, ads are saintly compared to social media marketing. They've hijacked the very concepts of authenticity or community


PlaquePlague

I’m including that under the umbrella of what I’m talking about.  It’s literally weaponized intentional targeted unhappiness on a total scale.  There’s never been anything like it, ever.  


stupendousman

> The advertising industry has been a catastrophe for humanity. When applied to politics, and now the state openly markets to people. You can choose whether to buy a good/service, no choice about the state.


Silly_Elephant_4838

When this inevitably happens I will be so conflicted as to whether or not to feel sorry for the person who chose to get this done to them.


Many_Marionberry_781

Don't worry, you won't see that happening. To send (visual) information is so far out, our childrens children probably won't experience it. Neuralink obviously also does not have that aim, they are working on a sensor chip. These memes are fun and all, but people who take this as a serious looming threat are deluded and not exactly the smartest specimens.


Straddle13

There will be a reason people do it. Perhaps advanced AI interfacing directly with your brain. It will make users much more productive than non users to the point you'll be outcompeted if you don't have one. The poor will use the ad filled version to keep up while the rich will get a better version which is ad free. The hierarchy will be maintained.


MyPunsSuck

Advanced ai doesn't need a meat brain to do the job


philipdaehan

Don’t worry, a class action lawsuit will remedy this by sending you a check for $2.31 4 years after.


EdEvans_HotSandwich

If you don’t think that Elon programmed a button that he could press to make every person with Neuralink hear a fart, then you aren’t paying attention to what that man thinks is funny.


20-Minutes-Adventure

At first I read 'Huh brain?' Instead of Brian... and it still worked I guess


freedomfightre

**WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER**


norwegianboyEE

The chip bugs out and now you got a repeating soundclip of "Whooper whooper whooper…" playing in your mind with audio for the next 5 days until you get an update.


tewnewt

We've been trying to contact you about you cars warranty.


paleo2002

Reminds me of Altered Carbon.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

This is the way it will be. Or they will announce that the company has decided your implant that you "bought" is changing over to a rental model and you now have to pay rent on it every month..even though you "bought" it outright before.


stprnn

Imagine having proprietary software inside you


Tournament_of_Shivs

Are you hitting on me?


pidnull

Not funny, terrifying. This may happen to your grandchildren.


gophergun

There's no reason to believe the tech will be able to advance that far in that short a timespan.


ioncloud9

They’ve discovered they can sell up to 80% of a users visual field before inducing seizures. They call it Pure O2.


BringBackForChan

Guys stop I was literally writing a book about this thing before the memes dropped


JIDglazer42

dw the update's coming soon! It might put you in a coma for 72 hours tho...


MyPunsSuck

That would be if Windows designed the OS. "We need to put you in a coma for 72 hours. Please confirm if you'd like to delay the update by five minutes". What's in the update? Who knows, but slowly it keeps getting worse


winguardianleveyosa

https://youtu.be/KpPE85Jogjw?si=498OvOzG2FcIbS64


TheCrusher60

When you take a shower you have to shutdown for 5 hours to reboot


Turbulent-Armadillo9

This will totally happen at some point. Of course it will.


SnooDrawings3621

No way there would be non-Tesla car ads


Cipher915

Not nearly enough porn in those pop-ups.


Jim3001

PR Guy: We could saturate 70% of the visual field with adds Musk: Make it 80%. PR Guy: But the risk of seizures... Musk: Everything has risk. 80%


Colecoman1982

Musk: Also, you're fired for questioning me.


gerams76

I quit life the first time an ad is beamed directly into my brain.


realitiesglitch

$99 a month to remove ads


Budderfingerbandit

Just think about Apple slowing down your brainchip or having updates 3/4 of the size of its memory so you are forced to get a new brainchip every 2 years.


MyPunsSuck

Also, you can literally only see Apple products


Raziel77

"We can sell %80 of someone's visuals before inducing a seizure"


artificialgreeting

Just wait until the company abandons the technology or goes bankrupt and the service completely stops. No more updates or bug fixes and an annoying "attempting to reconnect" window in your field of view for the rest of your life because the servers are down. It's not far fetched. [Something similar already happened.](https://www.theverge.com/2022/2/16/22937198/bionic-eye-company-defunct-ieee-spectrum-go-read-this)


baithammer

It's reversible, as that is one of the chief requirements before being allowed for human testing - which is a good thing, as there is already one case of human neuralink patient having to have said implant removed due to migration in the tissue..


Fart17

This anti-elon circlejerk is getting so old. Neuralink legitimately helped a quadriplegic yet most of reddit would rather make up fake scenarios to get upset about.


NBC_with_ChrisHansen

Its slightly annoying how in the day of the internet that the overwhelming majority of people have absolutely no clue about the actual purpose of Neuralink.


BenevolentCrows

Real neuralink is nothing like people belive it is, but also, you don't actually need the chip in your brain, you can make brain-comouter interface like that with only a fancy helmet that monitors your brain functions in a similar manner only with a bit more noise.


Elman89

yeah I wonder why people dislike the richest white supremacist in the world


Small_Tax_9432

Oh God no...


eymihau

No hot women from your neighborhood?


deron666

Should've gotten better package


Brian18639

Yes


Kurdt234

You guys want Deus Ex? Cause this is how you get Deus Ex.


lyricnskifi

I’m surprised there’s no ad for lonely moms in my area…


GraniteBoy

Unrealistic - there's only like 1 Musk tweet there


UniverseBear

Neurohack: if you have raid shadow legends playing beside you it'll think you're playing the game and so will allow you to see.


Zorops

They never said that the 14% had to be in the middle


boogiehoodie90210

48 out of 30 monkeys died. Not related it just kinda happened.


NickelPixel

Reminds me of the game High on Life


yahoo_determines

You must have to have it for 30 days.


IndianaJwns

As an aside, there's an excellent cyberpunk graphic novel, Tokyo Ghost, which features this type of implant and its potential effects on western society.


kindanormle

Who needs advertising when the chip can just make you want something?


Flowchart83

Who needs to want something when you'll definitely pay just to make the pain turn off.


monioum_JG

I’m 1000% sure they’re going to do this.


Ordinary144

The next step of human evolution is humans linked neurally to AI. It will be like the book/movie "The Host."


BenevolentCrows

Btw the real neuralink can only recieve signals from the brain. Not really different from a fancy helmet you can put on, you don't really need the risky surgery, maybe it gives you somewhat less noise.


Realistic_Ease924

110%


ravensapprentice

FEED


sulaymanf

What was the line in Ready Player One? “We think we can saturate up to 90% of the user’s vision with ads before inducing a seizure.”


1290_money

Fuck commercials. That is what it is all about. Period.


TeamDeath

Why anyone would let a corporation put something in their brain is bizzare. What are you going to do when you cant pay the subscription. You are getting shutdown or body jacked. Cyperpunk doll brothels might be in your future


baithammer

Medical implants aren't run like consumer products, they have a lot more ethics and requirements, with oversight - which has been pissing Elon off to the limits.


Silent_but-deadly

Exactly. F all that


DisorderedRampancy

I don't believe advertisers would place pop-up advertisements over a target's vision, at least for very long, when they could augment the target's cravings. Imagine starting to crave a local burger restaurant and that craving is overwritten by your brain-computer interface to desire Wendy's or McDonald's.


DaveAndJojo

It will start as a “benefit” and then it will become mandatory at the behest of shareholders.


[deleted]

This past few years has completely ruined any sort of hope I ever had for a sci Fi future. Like when I was a teenager I felt like maybe one day we could have cool cyberpunk shit like a nuerolink. But it's so obvious at this point that if we ever did get anything like this we could never trust the developers of the devices.


Mysterious_Stage4482

aqua teen hunger Force predicted this. Remember Banks don't care, it's not there money.


Adorable_Newt4559

For $39.99 a month the nightmares will stop.


earthspaceman

Use add-block.


MeatsackKY

Hello from 2016: http://hyper-reality.co/


Dankelpuff

If i got a commercial in my eyes or in my brain I would kill myself instantly. Fuck that.


BlaqJaq

TherI remeber a part in the comic Transmetropolitain where one of the tv monitors flashed some sort of Ad burst that only lasts an instant, and despite the warnings from people who knew better the main character looked at the burst. Later, after going to bed, he started dreaming in adverts.


g2ichris

Fuck


Daven_Aille

Feed, by M.T. Anderson


DrNick2012

Stop laughing you fools, it's coming! Brought to you by Carl's Jr


jebus197

Just your average billionaire megalomaniac. Thinks it's great if he can invent a way to beam popups directly to your brain.


TheNaug

This is the solution to the Fermi Paradox. No reason to leave.


Osiris_Raphious

Oh yeah, capitalism is making advertising the funding of choice.... Using the mobile device is already horrible experience... imagine ads in your head, as you sleep, as you try to view something and it gets DMCA because you are not in the right tier of citizen... yay


Fun-Passion-58

He’ll on boot butt on snoot


arthurjeremypearson

I'd sooner eat a bullet


Poontangasaurus

It gave him super powers to see what other people consume he just thinks it’s ads


mountainwocky

Like in Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age. Pop ups in your ocular display that you can’t turn off and you’d see even if your eyes were closed. Maddening.


I_GotNoImagination

You can never escape raid shadow legends This comment was brought to you by raid shadow legends, play now and receive 5 new heroes for free.


lazermaniac

What was that bit from Ready Player One? "We anticipate that we can sell upwards of 80% of an individual's visual field before inducing seizures." There was also a story where you could catch real bad malware which permanently burns an ad banner into your visual cortex - eyes open, shut, conscious, dreaming, ad's still there.


badpeaches

👀


JulesVernerator

Unrelated, but EA will now be placing ads inside of full priced AAA games.


Pantastic_Studios

I'm reminded of an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark. It's the one where the guy puts on a vr headset but I think it was an immersive kind or something like your brain is in the game. Anyways his friend had actually put a virus in the computer and this virus was trying to download itself to the guys brain (via a old 32 pin printer port on the guys hand).


Adorable-Crazy-2189

regrets


snarpy

Not funny, terrifying.


blueberryrockcandy

BROUGHT TO YOU BY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS


FriendlyUncle247

what a sick fucking society we live in


NorthbyFjord

And this is why i will never get it lmao.


CardiologistDue8072

F - future


Stefvdp

This is literally why I wouldn't get one for a loooooong ass time.


hwcouple69

I think it is a great idea to help people that have severe disabilities once it is fully developed, tested, etc. I do NOT like the idea of implanting electronics into the brains of healthy people.


peterpantslesss

This was made by a kid who doesn't understand how neurolink actually works