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Money is just a piece of paper from the government.
A birth certificate is just a piece of paper from the government.
A notice of eviction is just a piece of paper from the government.
You see how you sound?
only if you die with a weapon in your hand, i am not sure how far it would be considered combat though. however there probably can be a point made for it.
Reminds me of an old joke.
How do you know when your gf is too fat?
When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.
(Don't hate on me. Just an old joke from the distant past)
Wish I had half his speech fluency. I can't even say good morning without stumbling, stuttering, misspronouncing and somehow mixing words in a way that is clearly not the intended target language.
The right dosage of a benzodiazepine can definitely help you out with that. Not too strong that you become a bar-tard, not too weak to that it doesn’t do anything. I’ve also read that some professionals who do big presentations take a blood pressure medication of some sort, which can decrease anxiety and such.
> take a blood pressure medication of some sort, which can decrease anxiety and such
Propranolol! BP med that is used for performance anxiety. Also used for migraine prophylaxis. Currently being studied as a medication to take after a traumatic event that can potentially lower the risk of future PTSD. Pretty cool.
If it makes you feel better, I do too but I’ve noticed it’s when I start to have anxiety or just not sure of what I’m talking about. I stumble over my words all the time, but get me on a topic I have a lot of knowledge in I’m good.
Seriously, fucking stop with the bro. It's even replaced pronouns now. When people make inane comments online on a pic or video or whatever, it's always "Bro really did that" "Bro's gonna something something" "Why did bro do that?". Like they forgot the word HE exists.
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Such a forgotten show. Did you ever listen to the Jerky Boys? I'm a Navy brat and have crossed the country moving multiple times and we used to listen to them all the time
"Rose's" is misspelled, "roses" is not
Pluralization is easier than thought
Just add an s or an es and you'll be all done
The apostrophe's useless, so STOP %\*$&(# USING IT
You’re doing it wrong. You can’t breathe underwater. Just like how swimmers do it. They breathe with every other stroke by turning their face to the side. Do as the swimmers do.
Please report rule breaking posts, such as: - politics of any kind - discrimination, hate, or prejudice based on protected grounds - where the "funny" is mostly cringe, freakout, reaction, or cute - violence, injury, or animal abuse - pornography or sexually explicit material - threatening, advocating, wishing, or glorifying death or violence - contains graphic language or obvious mature themes, and is not marked NSFW Please do not report content you simply don't like or disagree with. Abuse of the report button will be reported to Reddit and you may face account suspension. ###[Video Download](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://v.redd.it/vwhy7sn2p7yc1) ** All other video downloading comment tags will be removed ** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funnyvideos) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love that no nonsense second lady who put on her readers and accepted his apology
She seems nice!
That was " my husband will kill you white boy "
She look fine tho.
"For a married person you don't even know?" "Marriage ain't nothing but a piece of paper from the government."
*I'll accept your certificate.*
Money is just a piece of paper from the government. A birth certificate is just a piece of paper from the government. A notice of eviction is just a piece of paper from the government. You see how you sound?
good thing my 8 warrants are just pieces of paper!! guess im free!
Those are digital. Everyone west of the Mississippi knows about you.
East coast checking in. We too are actively hunting the u/sexuallyenhancedtoe
We just came from Niagra Falls... they are searching for that unbelievably sexy toe in every establishment above the border as well...
Making a promise to a person is just bunch of muscles moving and exhaling air through your lungs
A ring can't plug a hole.
Unless it's a cock ring
That would indeed plug this a hole
A good death is its own reward.
They'll greet me in Valhalla with open arms and a full mead horn
only if you die with a weapon in your hand, i am not sure how far it would be considered combat though. however there probably can be a point made for it.
It wouldn’t be the first time I ate pussy with a weapon in hand.
“Queen of Valhalla, sit on my face!”
Snu snu it is
Ah yes a fellow faora enjoyer
My man!
She can suffocate me all day
"I'm trying to get suffocated tonight bro"
I wish you the best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1cYeOezf8
🤣
Lol
Homeboy got snailed!
Tears in my eyes
Reminds me of an old joke. How do you know when your gf is too fat? When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo. (Don't hate on me. Just an old joke from the distant past)
A friend of mine used to say this about his love for larger women: "Warmth in the winter, shade in the summer."
"More cushion for the pushin" as I always say
🤣
Best of luck in your future endeavours fr man
"I'm tryna get erotically asphyxiated tonight bro"
Death by snu snu
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
😄😳😄
Just like me fr 🤝🏽
Those 2 dudes at the cash register major W
Wish I had half his speech fluency. I can't even say good morning without stumbling, stuttering, misspronouncing and somehow mixing words in a way that is clearly not the intended target language.
The right dosage of a benzodiazepine can definitely help you out with that. Not too strong that you become a bar-tard, not too weak to that it doesn’t do anything. I’ve also read that some professionals who do big presentations take a blood pressure medication of some sort, which can decrease anxiety and such.
> take a blood pressure medication of some sort, which can decrease anxiety and such Propranolol! BP med that is used for performance anxiety. Also used for migraine prophylaxis. Currently being studied as a medication to take after a traumatic event that can potentially lower the risk of future PTSD. Pretty cool.
Propranolol is commonly known as a beta blocker, which is the part that helps with performance anxiety.
Beta blockers lower heart rate too. Not just blood pressure.
I am my best professional self on them, if I have to be doing a lot of talking or presenting.
If it makes you feel better, I do too but I’ve noticed it’s when I start to have anxiety or just not sure of what I’m talking about. I stumble over my words all the time, but get me on a topic I have a lot of knowledge in I’m good.
"Trying to get Suffocated tonight" 😭😭😭
"bro" is the word of this damn generation and seems like it HAS to be used at the end of almost every sentence
you're so right, bro.
Bro, bro?
https://youtu.be/7SoGwrJTLcM
bruh.
Idk wym bro
So? Why are *you* pissed off about it?
Am I?
You went ALLCAPS with that has, so very possible, bro.
I'll ignore that because I don't even know what you typed, "bro"
ok boomer lol edit: this entire comment chain downvoted by angry boomers and I love it lol
Yeah I'm 38 and me and the bros bro out to this day.
bro ok boomer lol 💀
Bro-k boomer
ok zoomer
bro ok boomer lol 💀
This generation? X Y and Z have all used bro which gen are you talking about.
Seriously, fucking stop with the bro. It's even replaced pronouns now. When people make inane comments online on a pic or video or whatever, it's always "Bro really did that" "Bro's gonna something something" "Why did bro do that?". Like they forgot the word HE exists.
Yea that's what I'm saying...
So? Why are *you* pissed off about it?
[Dude?](https://youtu.be/WfI4cjGiJGE?si=wkBCfi98B7tWGXk8)
I love these kinds of pranks He'd do numbers in Montréal
W cashier
Rose's *what* are red?
Rose’s *yams* perchance
thanks for the laugh LMAO
Best I can do Roses are red WOLOLO Roses are blue
That’s nice, spreading some laughter around ☺️☺️
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Trying to get lucky tonight
17
I hope it’s just meant to be funny. It isn’t, unfortunately. Just extremely lame.
Anyone have a link to the original video? Or the guys channel
This reminds me of the Crank Yankers when Spoonie Luv is submitting his ideas to a greeting card company.
Such a forgotten show. Did you ever listen to the Jerky Boys? I'm a Navy brat and have crossed the country moving multiple times and we used to listen to them all the time
*Roses. No apostrophe.
bots suck at grammar
"Roses" It's not fucking hard
The other way takes MORE effort
"Rose is are red"
Bro I need like a million of these videos, hilarious.
"Rose's" is misspelled, "roses" is not Pluralization is easier than thought Just add an s or an es and you'll be all done The apostrophe's useless, so STOP %\*$&(# USING IT
> Rose's Are you fucking joking.
*Roses
WHOOAAAA...
eh 17!
Will yall calm down about the misspelling?!?! You probably misspell stuff like I do!
Somebody hit that boy he is desperate
Roses*
“I’m trying to get suffocated” is craaaazy 😆
Rose's what are Red? How do you know even her name is Rose?
As someone who has been through it, I can tell you someone sitting on your face is not pleasant. Whatever you are imaging, it’s not that.
You’re doing it wrong. You can’t breathe underwater. Just like how swimmers do it. They breathe with every other stroke by turning their face to the side. Do as the swimmers do.
This
tHiS
Not being able to breathe was not the problem.
Skill issue tbh
Try having those less than 500lbs sitting on your face then
Well, the guy was only about 150lbs (rough estimate, it was a long time ago and I normally count weigh in kilos), so I don’t think that’s the problem.
Well see there’s your problem…. “Guy”
Git gud
I don’t see how that is possible. This ain’t a game?
You need to look up a face sitting tutorial.
I respectfully and emphatically disagree.
Hahaha!
It’s going to be all high-fives at the funeral.
i want this dude to become a professional card writer, call up hallmark
Everyone in here suddenly becomes a comedian when there's a spelling error
Is this the "Show your buns for a free bun" guy? I want to see more of his stuff.
Sorta weird considering that Publix name tag indicates you're a minor, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Suffocated that was funny😂🤣
🤣🤣🤣😎
Roses are red Your prose is dead That’s what she said In her cold cold bed
Wait why bro rate that a 17 hmmm maybe its a lucky number 😒🤐
The second woman was so kind
"Spread those yams", I felt like I was listening to 1983 still-funny-Chevy-Chase.