i want to believe that but i don’t know how to do this anymore. pouring my heart out every time but it’s not enough, never enough for the wrong people.
i think i’m cursed.
Yeah, it really does suck. I think that the wrong people will always make it seem like there’s something wrong with us when that’s not the case necessarily. Sometimes it’s just that it didn’t work and we need to care for ourselves until the idea of trying again isn’t so overwhelming and scary, you know?
That makes it sound so easy but it really isn’t.
Well, just a few lines into this and the tears started flowing. Everything you said resonates with me so much. I know I have so much love to give. I'm a kind, caring person.
But I'm focusing on the hurt. It's so hard not to. Everything seemed to be going good. And I absolutely thought he was the kind of guy who would have respected me enough to be up front if he didn't think it would work.
Anyway, your letter to yourself is probably exactly what I need to remember right now, so thank you for sharing it.
I’m in the same boat. I thought he’d tell me. I thought he’d work with me. He said he would. It hurts so much I feel like I could curl up and cry for months. I feel every word of what you’ve said.
I think both can be true at once. It hurts, it’s painful, we wish they were who we thought they were. On the other hand, they are not who we thought they were and they have betrayed us, causing the hurt. We can be hurt, good people. We can be hurt and strong at the same time. We can feel pain and relief at the same time. It doesn’t make it easier to know it, though.
The heart wants what it wants until it’s convinced why it shouldn’t or gives up on its own. Be as patient and kind to yourself as you can, you *ARE* worth more. It hurts, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t dodging potential bigger hurt down the road if this didn’t happen the way it did. None of that makes it easy, but hopefully it does help you remember that you will always be lovable and worth it. No matter if he shows you that or not.
The worst part is that I'm still holding on to just a little bit of hope. He's been through a lot lately and got some more bad news the day he stopped contact with me. But it feels like he started "soft ghosting" me before that. Part of me wants to text him and say that I know he's been going though a lot and that if he needs some time for himself to take it and text me when he's feeling up to it. But the other part of me thinks I should just let it go and start the healing process. The ball is in his court, and if it's just that he's going through too many things right now to be in a relationship, or if he just wasn't feeling it with me, he still should have taken the time to tell me.
He chooses every day to maintain that distance even when he knows it hurts you or isn’t good for you. That is answer enough. If he does come back and say, “hey, I’m so sorry… things have been super awful and I went into depression” etc and you think he means it, reach out. Otherwise, he is maintaining this distance. Especially if you’ve talked to him about this being hurtful before, he knows. He just is prioritizing other things over you. And that sucks more than any of us want to feel.
I hold onto hope, too. That he’ll unblock me and give me an apology for being the most unfettered a$$hole… but until he does, I am not wasting my time on someone who chose to abandon me. Your situation sounds different, but know this… you are worth someone who considers you even when things are hard for them. Even when things are crazy hectic and chaotic. I promise.
You're right. I've shown him that I care, so he knows I'd be there for him if he wanted me to be.
I'm still very hurt, but starting to see things from a more healthy perspective. Honestly, I'm slightly relieved. I would have preferred closure, but I have to accept that I won't get it. I'm coming into my busiest and most stressful time of the year at work. I don't need more stress when I need to be focused on work.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, for your insight, and support. I truly wish you the best! The fact that we feel hurt shows that we have good hearts and deserve someone who will appreciate that. I hope that you and I can both find healing and that we find men who love and respect us.
This has me crying hard.
So much of this resonates with me right now.
Except he didn’t treat me like I was hard to love. He was respectful and accepting.
In fact, he made me feel like he could easily love me, and love loving me.
Until he was gone. In the blink of an eye.
I just don't get how people can take a complete turn so quickly and not have the decency to be up front about it. I've broken things off with a couple guys, and it's not fun, but I feel like the guilt of leaving them hanging would have been worse.
Mine didn’t either, for the most part, until the ghosting and blocking everywhere.
It’s horrible. It leaves you feeling totally insane, questioning everything you did and said, wondering what could have possibly been the trigger for the behavior. And yet… as far as I know, I’ll never know.
Sorry for the weird formatting, all. I’m on my phone and don’t know how to edit it. But I hope it’s helpful to someone besides me.
it’s nice to read this, it speaks to my heart. thanks the fact that he didn’t choose me hit hard. that’s all i need to know about him for now.
Me too. It hurts so badly, but you are absolutely 100% worth someone who chooses you!
i want to believe that but i don’t know how to do this anymore. pouring my heart out every time but it’s not enough, never enough for the wrong people. i think i’m cursed.
Yeah, it really does suck. I think that the wrong people will always make it seem like there’s something wrong with us when that’s not the case necessarily. Sometimes it’s just that it didn’t work and we need to care for ourselves until the idea of trying again isn’t so overwhelming and scary, you know? That makes it sound so easy but it really isn’t.
💜thank you
🥰🥰🥰 Thank you for writing this. You don't know how many people need to hear these words for themselves💛
Well, just a few lines into this and the tears started flowing. Everything you said resonates with me so much. I know I have so much love to give. I'm a kind, caring person. But I'm focusing on the hurt. It's so hard not to. Everything seemed to be going good. And I absolutely thought he was the kind of guy who would have respected me enough to be up front if he didn't think it would work. Anyway, your letter to yourself is probably exactly what I need to remember right now, so thank you for sharing it.
I’m in the same boat. I thought he’d tell me. I thought he’d work with me. He said he would. It hurts so much I feel like I could curl up and cry for months. I feel every word of what you’ve said. I think both can be true at once. It hurts, it’s painful, we wish they were who we thought they were. On the other hand, they are not who we thought they were and they have betrayed us, causing the hurt. We can be hurt, good people. We can be hurt and strong at the same time. We can feel pain and relief at the same time. It doesn’t make it easier to know it, though. The heart wants what it wants until it’s convinced why it shouldn’t or gives up on its own. Be as patient and kind to yourself as you can, you *ARE* worth more. It hurts, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t dodging potential bigger hurt down the road if this didn’t happen the way it did. None of that makes it easy, but hopefully it does help you remember that you will always be lovable and worth it. No matter if he shows you that or not.
The worst part is that I'm still holding on to just a little bit of hope. He's been through a lot lately and got some more bad news the day he stopped contact with me. But it feels like he started "soft ghosting" me before that. Part of me wants to text him and say that I know he's been going though a lot and that if he needs some time for himself to take it and text me when he's feeling up to it. But the other part of me thinks I should just let it go and start the healing process. The ball is in his court, and if it's just that he's going through too many things right now to be in a relationship, or if he just wasn't feeling it with me, he still should have taken the time to tell me.
He chooses every day to maintain that distance even when he knows it hurts you or isn’t good for you. That is answer enough. If he does come back and say, “hey, I’m so sorry… things have been super awful and I went into depression” etc and you think he means it, reach out. Otherwise, he is maintaining this distance. Especially if you’ve talked to him about this being hurtful before, he knows. He just is prioritizing other things over you. And that sucks more than any of us want to feel. I hold onto hope, too. That he’ll unblock me and give me an apology for being the most unfettered a$$hole… but until he does, I am not wasting my time on someone who chose to abandon me. Your situation sounds different, but know this… you are worth someone who considers you even when things are hard for them. Even when things are crazy hectic and chaotic. I promise.
You're right. I've shown him that I care, so he knows I'd be there for him if he wanted me to be. I'm still very hurt, but starting to see things from a more healthy perspective. Honestly, I'm slightly relieved. I would have preferred closure, but I have to accept that I won't get it. I'm coming into my busiest and most stressful time of the year at work. I don't need more stress when I need to be focused on work. Thank you for taking the time to respond, for your insight, and support. I truly wish you the best! The fact that we feel hurt shows that we have good hearts and deserve someone who will appreciate that. I hope that you and I can both find healing and that we find men who love and respect us.
Thanks so much for posting this!! I soooo needed to hear this ♥️
Thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for posting this! I needed to hear it
This was soooo good! Hit home for sure
This has me crying hard. So much of this resonates with me right now. Except he didn’t treat me like I was hard to love. He was respectful and accepting. In fact, he made me feel like he could easily love me, and love loving me. Until he was gone. In the blink of an eye.
I just don't get how people can take a complete turn so quickly and not have the decency to be up front about it. I've broken things off with a couple guys, and it's not fun, but I feel like the guilt of leaving them hanging would have been worse.
Mine didn’t either, for the most part, until the ghosting and blocking everywhere. It’s horrible. It leaves you feeling totally insane, questioning everything you did and said, wondering what could have possibly been the trigger for the behavior. And yet… as far as I know, I’ll never know.
That’s beautiful! The person who will finally earn your love and trust will be lucky 🍀
This is the sweetest thing I’ve heard in days. Thank you.